Caray, Caray!

Featuring special guest recapper Stephe! Take it away Stephe...

Morning, mates! Deepest apologies for the delay. I had a crisis with my parents (who are in ill health) last night, and didn’t get back home until over in the morning, around 4 A.M.-ish. I was dead tired and just had to lie down and regroup. Which meant I couldn’t get to my recording and recapping at all until this late. But hey—it’s all good. You might not have had recap with your breakfast, but you can darn sure have it with your lunch.

My Spanish is only about 50 percent, I am bleery-eyed, and I am paraphrasing, so please feel free to jump in and correct anything I get wrong, or fill in something I missed. Carlos—cheers to you, my man. Cap’n Sylvia—bless you for helping me out and posting this recap. Well, I’ve delayed you all long enough. Away we go.

*recording on*

From last time: Jerry and Rolu are trying mightily to get Xime to spill el gran secreto. But she holds out, and runs the heck out, with a quickness. No, no, no, no, NO—she’ll resolve this the Xime Way, without betraying Coni. The two knuckleheads at the dinner table are even more intrigued. Hmm.

A delighted (and ego-stroked) Beto runs off to inform the Don about tag-teaming with the Fury, which leaves Moni and masked Mau alone. [musica romantica] Moni looks after our Beto kindly, in a sisterly way, and our Fury can’t help asking if there is anyone she feels more than sisterly towards, hmm? Why yes, there is a man who just about blows her heart right out of her chest. *sigh* Must be the luckiest guy in the world, yes? Fury breathes, with a Gaze of True Longing. Moni stares back at him with soft eyes, and we wonder what she will say next…

…but we don’t find out because we abruptly switch scenes. Gah. (shake it off, Stephe, don’t be pissed)

Okay, my darlings. New stuff.

Jackie and Sal are sitting in some fancy-schmancy restaurant with bar, schmoozing and exchanging compliments along with a good bit of wine. (OMG. My captions just went out. Seriously? This can’t happen! Okay, winging it…) There’s a lot of talk about things past that have been overcome, facing one’s fears, yada yada, so on and so forth, and Jackie slyly covers Sal’s fingers with her own. Rather than look comforted by the gesture, the man glances down at her hand as if it were a water moccasin about to bite him, but that doesn’t deter her, oh no. She continues to stroke him and play the trustworthy, complimentary dame until he finally pulls his hand away to eat some salad. He halts her seduction because he loves someone else. He and Jacky can only be sincere friends. (Youch.) She seems to accept that, and offers a toast to love, which Sal changes to a toast to friendship. Was that a cutting glance she gave him as she sipped her wine, or did I imagine that?

Back to Moni and masked Mau. She is sadly recounting her and Mau’s tale of woe because of Coni’s mean manipulations, how difficult it is being separated from her man. Mau urges her not to give up on so strong a love, to fight to get it back and never be separated again. “And how do you know, eh?” she quips. “I haven’t even said who it is.” Mau insists who doesn’t matter. Just the fight in you. Moni appreciates his sweet encouragement (all together now… awwww!). He’s glad she’s taking his advice (I would imagine so). But enough about her, she wants to know more about the mysterious Furia now, who he is, why he has to keep his mask on even in private, with her. (Couldn’t you just feel Mau squirming like a worm on a hook?) He managed to squirm right off of that hook too, without giving anything away. Lucky. She accepts his mysterious nature—for now. She’s glad they met and is sure they will be very good friends. That statement gives Mau a punch to the heart as we break for a word from our dedicated sponsors.

We’re back, and my captions are gone AGAIN. I am so screwed.

Masked Mau is sitting there, ruminating on his and Moni’s conversation, and she’s doing something in the kitchen, when in walks a very excited Beto in full Lucha regalia. He’s ready to do this tag team thing, to get in the ring and show what he’s working with. Fury would rather slow things down a little, they’re going too fast. Fast indeed—they have an exhibition match tomorrow, Beto exclaims. You’re ready, my Furia! We can whoop ‘em and take the prize! Moni puts her dos centavos in. “Oh yes, do it!” Mau gives in, but makes Beto promise to bathe first. (Ouch!) Beto is absolutely beside himself and ready to celebrate. He talks Mau into going out (they owe it to their fans? Sorry I didn’t catch it) and leads the big bug from the house by the hand. Boy, were they talking 90 miles an hour or what?

Uh-oh. Back to Jackie and Sal at their table. Looks like supper is done and it’s coffee time. What is going on with her wearing one glove? That gimmick has long been taken. I guess she didn’t read the memo. Anyway, Jackie is still working the conversation. She doesn’t understand why, if he’s so in love with this other woman, he’s sitting there with her and not with the other woman. (I think.) “Her name is Gaby,” Sal admits. “You know her because she works in the group.” Jackie listens patiently as Sal gushes for a while about how Gaby shortens his breath and makes him oh, so delirious. She looks happy for the guy, and seems to encourage him. FF>> (Oops! Nope, you’re recapping and thus haven’t the privilege of fast-forwarding tonight, Stephe) I feel like I’m missing something here, mates. What is with this chummy goodness-and light, especially with Jackie in the room? She even stopped pawing his hand. Next scene.

Ah. Beto and Mau are out having drinks with their masked selves. Beto is pretty grateful to have such a terrific friend in Furia, indeed. Mau thinks Beto is drinking like a fish, eh. Beto begins waxing sadly about something that is causing him great stress and pain, the true kind of dolor way down deep. It’s a tangled situation that is driving him mad. (Gee, wonder who he’s talking about.) The woman is married, but hubby doesn’t want her, she won’t leave though she loves Beto, yada yada, boom-shakkallaka. (sobbing because I have no captions and I’m flying by the seat of my pants—help) What is this? Has Beto soured so on his situation with la momia that he’s putting heart and soul into getting Moni back? Is that what he said? I think so, because suddenly Mau about choked his entire drink back up. Wow. Beto is keen on masked Mau getting with our Estre and helping him secure Moni, so they’ll both be happy men. (If only he knew who he was talking to. Har.) Mau looks dumbfounded behind his mask when Xime sweeps in, in that cute coat she was wearing yesterday and starts chatting them up. Mau plays it cool when Beto introduces Xime to “the Masked Fury.” She thinks they’re both ridiculously cute.

And we’re out. While Univision is paying its bills, Viewerville bum-rushes the restroom.

We come back to Moni without any kind of lead-in. Just… boom. She’s lying in bed, thinking about how the Fury’s eyes give her really good vibes about him and all that, when someone knocks on the door. It is our Estre, all aflutter in her pretty dress. Boy, did she clean up well with that makeover! She bubbles over about how well things are going with her movie role, until Moni tell her Fury was here and Estre missed seeing him. Poor Estrellita is bummed. Fury out drinking with Beto doesn’t exactly thrill her either. But she perks up with the news about the tag team match the next day. Beto tagging with her masked bonbon means they will now be friends. Yeah, that’s usually how it works, all right. Until one side manages to betray the other and it’s on like Donkey Kong once again. Just like a telenovela.

Beto asks Xime what she thinks of his new partner and invites her to tomorrow’s match. She’s all eager to share what she thinks of las luchas, and up goes the pinkie. The girl likes taking in good fights and adores the wrestlers. I didn’t catch her second point, but lastly, she doesn’t like the costumes. Fashion emergencies, all of them, with need of a designer’s advice. (that’s our third Ouch! of the night) Xime needs to talk with Beto alone, so Fury (gratefully) excuses himself.

Sal tries to visit Gaby at her building, to no avail. He calls on his cell and leaves her a voicemail instead. [musica de guitarra romantica] “I wanted to tell you… I love you, very much.” With a little “I did it” fist pump, he turns to go to his car.

Looks like Gaby missed him because she’s at the movies, watching an extremely romantic English-language film (a period piece) while every couple around her is making out. Pobrecita! She looks uncomfortable, and deprived. On screen, the man is going to make the woman his for all eternity. The woman, lying on a bed, begs, BEGS to be taken. Gaby is swooning in her popcorn. “Yes, yes, I’m going to take you,” the man promises and strokes the woman’s neck as Gaby reaches for her own. Holy cow—it’s Sal and Gaby up there! Screen Gaby tells Screen Sal that his English is terrible and to speak in Spanish instead. No problem, as he is a vampire and is about to make her his for all eternity, what’s a little language change? (sorry I threw that in there) We shall be together para siempre. He caresses her face, her lovely neck, while viewer Gaby copies his movements and makes out with herself in her seat. Screen Sal finally sinks his fangs into Screen Gaby. I finally exhale as the scene ends without viewer Gaby starting to unbutton something.

Back at the bar, Xime is complaining for lack of a good drink, but drinks what she’s been given anyway. Beto sniffs his armpit for a second (I am not rewinding to figure out why). The subject turns to Coni, and it looks like she’s trying to convince him that he is the bambino’s papa. Other than “Why are men so foolish?” and the comparison of Coni to a carnivorous plant, I got turned around. That’s what I get for relying on captions for so long.

Mau, still in bug costume but without his mask, is on his living room sofa, contemplating Beto’s pain. He thinks back to the double wedding. A married woman, the husband doesn’t want her, she won’t leave, et cetera… Suddenly a light bulb goes on over his head (okay, it’s a dim one). Beto must be talking about Ximena. OMG, Xime and Beto??? Mau is a little impactado, and very wrong.

Xime finally convinces Beto to fight for Coni instead of leaving her to his ex-buddy Mau. “For your little Beto!” “Yes, for my little Beto!” Let’s drink on it.

After another commercial break and news up to the minute, we’re back in bed with Moni again. She’s dreaming about being with Mau when suddenly he is replaced by the Masked Fury. Something about those eyes draws her in and she gazes deeply. Perhaps a little too deeply, in fact. Moni wakes up, wondering why the heck Fury is in her dreams. (Ruh-roh!)

That morning, Mau heads into the kitchen for some juice and breakfast. And here she comes right behind him—the indomitable Coni, looking like a ray of sunshine in her pale yellow pajama robe. Her face is anything but sunshine, though. He got in late last night and she hopes he didn’t go straight to Moni with the news about their impending divorce. “Of course I didn’t. I kept my word,” a sobered Mau tells her between bites of breakfast at the kitchen island. Basically it’s a “you do as I say” and “yeah, whatever” type of conversation until… Mau voices his suspicions that her bestest bud Xime and Beto are lovers. Coni makes like a geyser and spits coffee all down that pretty robe. Heh. And Mau is like, damn, what a reaction.

Xime comes down to breakfast hung over like a mofo and sporting sunglasses. She wishes Jerry and Rolu would keep the volume down. Rolu is chewing her out, and she insists she doesn’t understand it, she spent the whole time drinking water. She gets the Third Degree about where she was, who with, etc. A suffering Xime just tries to smooth things over so the noise will stop. Rolu makes her a deal—tell him The Terrible Secret she’s holding on to and he’ll let it slide. C’mon, obey your husband, he coaxes. She considers for a split second, but refuses. Both men are exasperated, and Jerry gets the heck out of Dodge. Rolu continues to dig at her. But no go.

Back to the mansion, folks, where Coni is accusing Mau of talking stupid. Xime and Beto? Bah. Coni ain’t having any of that, even when Mau tells her Xime and Beto saw each other last night. He carefully lays down the reasons he thinks he is right about them being lovers. Well a stop must be put to this. Coni demands that Mau step back and let her handle this most delicate matter with Xime personally, with discretion. Her being a woman and all gives her a better understanding. Mau acquiesces and leaves the kitchen, leaving that morning’s melon to Coni’s mercy. In a silent rage, she squeezes a hearty slice of cantaloupe to its death. (Scary.)

Mau greets joven Aldo on his way out. It’s Saturday, I’ve taken my punishment and cleaned up my act, I want to spend the day with you, dad, Aldo says. Mau begs off, of course. He’s got Fury bidnez to attend to. He does give the lad permission to spend the day out, though, so long as he’s back home by his curfew. They hug. Aldo is most grateful. But as soon as Mau walks off, Aldo give a little laugh. “Masked Fury,” he says under his breath.

After about a zillion commercials…

Mau comes out of the mansion and drives off in his car, totally unaware that Aldo has stowed away in his back seat and will now be privy to the Bat Cave’s secret location. And boy, does Aldo get an eyeful! He admires the Fury’s motorcycle, sees the secret closet that houses the Fury’s costume, and watches his daddy transform into the invincible luchador. Masked Mau psyches himself up for the match to come, throws a few shoulder moves, and Aldo is beside himself. But then Mau hops on his cycle and leaves, and Aldo is at a loss as to how to follow him. What a cute scene—my favorite of the night!

Xime answers her door, only to have Coni come lunging in, barking at her like rottweiler in heat. Oh, snaps!

Estre and Nieves are all decked out in red and trying to get folks hyped up to see the Fantasma Vengador and the Masked Fury in tag team action. Aldo walks in (I knew that kid would get there somehow, heh), and assures Estre that he has permission to be out and about. Estre wants to talk to him privately for a sec, and leads him away. Nieves follows them with her eyes, her ribbons and red bow a’quiver.

Back at Xime’s, Coni is chasing the woman around the house and trying to kill her because of Mau’s wrong conclusion. Poor confused Xime begs for her life and gets slammed to the ground in response. (My, that is a cute blouse La Coni is wearing today.) “I’m going to kill Beto as well!” Coni screeches. “You never thought I’d find out, huh?” She hovers over Xime like some wraith from Hell, threatening her to within an inch of her life, trying to yank the hair from her scalp. She gives the woman a final shove, kicks her, and storms out while Xime cringes in despair. (Wow, that b!tch is out of control. I was going to be nice to her for Carlos’ sake, but…) Xime whines that her days are surely numbered. ‘Dead to the Caray blog’ Rolu comes around a corner and ponders what he just heard. “Is that the secret? That Xime has a lover?” Sooooo, is that what he needs to bring him to Xime’s side, maybe? A little competition? Hm.

Lawdy, Estre is talking so fast, I’ve no idea what she’s hammering joven Aldo with. Sounds like she’s making darn sure he has permission from Mau to be out of the house. (Is my recording skipping, or did that actually happen in the broadcast?) Wow. This scene is toast. Jump in, anyone.

Xime is in surprisingly good shape after being unloaded on by Mean Mad Constance. Rolu scares the crap out of her as he slowly wheels into the room in his chair. She tells him her life is in danger and she’s seen the whole movie play out in her head, yada-yada-boomdiyay. When the doorbell rings, she jumps a mile, but it’s only Costeno. She’s awfully glad to see Hot Dreadlocks, and they start making friendly-nice right in front of Rolu, who doesn’t like that one bit. Yep, that’s what you need, you douche. Competition.

Here comes Masked Mau on his big, impressive bike. Wow, imagine all that power between your legs. (sorry, had to say it) Moni arrives at the same time and tries to nonchalantly sneak by him (that dream is still bothering her, yo), but he spots her anyway and stops her to say hi. She looks so serious, he says. She’s just having some trouble sleeping, she says. We enter “cute banter” land, where the chemistry between these two is thick and heavy enough to sink a submarine. (Mau, you are pushing it!) Near the end of said banter, he wants to know what’s so odd about her dreams. I do believe Moni answers that… drum roll… he always shows up in them. Close-up on masked Mau taking in those wonderful words, and… Fin.

Advances: Hot Dreadlocks and Rolu are discussing something, the subject of which flew out of my head when, in the next instance, it appears that Moni will see Mau putting on Fury’s mask. Oooooops.

Have a great day, all!

Stephe

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