Caray, Caray!

Stuff we just haven’t had enough of: In the prison yard, Thugly and Snidekick decide to pound some guilt into Cris’s innocent face. Chucho gets sucked into the melee. The guards break it up and send Cris off to see his visitor, whether he wants to go or not (he does not).

And his instincts are right on, as his visitor is none other than Crueloca, the Heifer from Hell, decked out in a cow-print blouse. She claims she knows everything, then instantly refutes that by asking whether Madeleine Martell is another of his conquests. The Crazy Cow offers Cris one last-chance Get Out of Jail Free card, at the low, low price of spending his life making sweet, sweet lurve to her. He’d rather rot in prison. This was not a chapter in He’s Just Not That Into You*, so of course she may still think he’s into her. Playing hard to get, doncha know? She throws a fit, and Cris finally escapes to the relative peace and luxury of the prison yard.

New stuff: Germán tries to give Eric orders in the office. Eric is having none of it, because Germs does not outrank him. Not for long, says Germy. Eric threatens to break Germy’s face if he doesn’t give it up. Germy says he’s just jealous because Liliana would come running if he snapped his fingers. Snap all you want; we’re splitsville, says Eric. He also thinks it’s pathetic that Germy thinks racking up more notches makes him more manly. Honestly, these two have one of the most passionate and long-lasting relationships on this show, next to Cruel and Cris.

Licenciado Cordero’s secretary or paralegal or whoever asks him whether he really thinks the priest is guilty. He says what he thinks doesn’t matter; people say he’s guilty, and this is his job. He just needs a little more proof to be sure. He finds the envelope which appeared while they were out, marked all over with “Confidential” and “Regarding the Case of Padre Juan Cristóbal” and whatnot. He puts it aside to look at later, and gets back to his files. Cats (unlike puppies and birds) must live long, long lives in Real del Monte, because there is like NO curiosity in the entire pueblo.

Germán interrogates Rufi about the value of Misery Manor and the gentlemen callers of Carlota and Paloma. Rufi clearly wishes there were knockout drops in the coffee she’s serving him, but fortunately Carloca shows up to meet with him and Rufi is spared further temptation to wring his neck. In Carloca’s office, she tells him she wants him to take Cris down. He wants the prestige that would come from winning the case. She tells him he can gain prestige in other cases, but she will pay him well to lose this one. He just needs to find someone who will claim to have witnessed Alonso being run over by the truck, Carlota suggests, as she slowly strolls around Germy and checks out his rump (yes, really). Well, Germs is not totally asleep on the job. “How do you know he was run over by a truck?” he asks, looking at her sharply.

Paloma goes to Gabriel’s studio and shows him the painting she’s been working on. He says it is amazing (it is bad). It’s just like the painting he was doing (also bad)!

{Everyone get your barf buckets ready at this point.}

So Carloca says she heard from someone about the truck. Small town, you know. He pretends to accept that. She makes him sit down about two millimeters in front of her, and gets right in his face and says she wants him to court Paloma. He’s surprised. He always thought Carloca was serious, recatada (circumspect, modest), but as he gets to know her, he marvels, and thinks she is just the most beautiful woman in the whole house! (Way to not overstate the case, Germs). Well, given that Carloca can take “I hate you and want nothing to do with you, EVER” as a “maybe” you can imagine how she reacts to that. She plants a big, gropy, tonsil-tango smooch on him. Does he get into it? Oh yes, he does.

One of Diana’s poker friends, also apparently a friend of Camila, goes to Camila’s shop and confesses to her that she is in big trouble, having lost a lot of money playing poker. She explains about Samuel playing. Camila is shocked to hear that Samuel and Diana are…something we’d rather not think about.

Over at the Anguished Artists’ Mutual Admiration Society meeting, Gabriel tells Paloma he has not come to Real del Monte in vain; she is exactly what he’s been looking for. “Huh?” she responds. “Never mind, just understand that everything I have will be yours.” She doesn’t appear to understand that much better, but Emiliano calls just then to invite her to come with him to visit the baby. Gabriel glares jealously at the phone.

Angélica wonders what Emiliano’s up to. He says the baby needs affection to thrive, and Romina can’t or won’t give it. Ange agrees it’s good for the baby to have Paloma around, but says it is not good for Emiliano. He needs to leave her alone to avoid temptation and let her move on with her life.

La Loca and Germs are still madly making out. His jacket is off and his shirt unbuttoned. “Tell me you love me, Cristóbal!” she pants. Screeeeech. Germy pulls away, everything suddenly clear. When he starts accusing Carloca, she shrieks at him to leave. He flees. She trashes her desk and yells “Te odio, Cristóbal!” over and over. Out in the hall, Rufi looks alarmed.

Cris tells Orlando he wants to find a way to make Carlota tell the truth and show what she’s really like. Orly, always one to dismiss the problems of others, says probably everything will work out in the trial. Cris gives Orlando a letter to give to Natalia. Supposing Cris is out of prison in a few days, says Orly, does he think he’ll get together with Natalia? “What is wrong with you?” says Cris’s expression. “Well, why not? You’re no longer a priest, Macarena is gone, and Natalia is a widow. You could start over and have a family,” says Orlando. Cris looks thoughtful.

Paloma tells Gabriel she’s finished the sketch she’s been working on. “Great; see you next class,” Gabriel snottily replies, not really looking up from the Virgen painting he’s restoring. “Don’t you want to look at it?” No, he doesn’t. She’s dismissed. Paloma is not to be gotten rid of so easily, she’s hurt and confused and asks him what’s going on. A few rounds of “Nothing; see you later.” “We’re friends. Tell me what’s wrong.” “I’m your teacher, and I say we’re done.” “Are you mad at me?” “It’s not you, it’s me.” “What?” “Fine. You stay and I’ll go.” Gabriel leaves and Paloma has no idea what has just happened.

Carloca stomps up the stairs. Rufi goes into the office and sees the mess. “Carlota and Germán?! I can’t believe it!”

You know, the shower scenes in this novela are really subpar. This one features La Loca. She furiously rinses while remembering the nasty germy smooch. Her eye makeup does not move, even with rubbing.

Mónica and Camila hope the news about Samuel and Diana is only gossip, but Camila says maybe Diana thought it was the perfect vengeance against Camila. She tells Mónica she can believe Samuel would do it to try to scam Diana. In fact, she saw him with Carlota one day and suspects he was up to the same thing with her. Camila leaves a message for Samuel to call her.

Samuel is playing cards and drinking with Diana, and ignores the beeping phone. He claims Camila has been pestering him since he returned to Real del Monte, always wanting to get together. She’s probably tired of her fiancé, that pelmazo (pain in the heinie), and having a midlife crisis besides, now that she’s a grandmother. Diana looks a little offended at that, but Samuel quickly covers by saying that no one would guess she is also a grandmother. Sammy wants to keep playing poker, but Diana says he’s won all her money. He suggests strip poker instead. She’s titillated. His jacket comes off. Her shoes. Her jacket. Her blouse. Her skirt. Her wig.

Romina calls the furniture store to ask why her delivery is taking so long. The furniture lady says they have no record of her order. Then a nurse calls to tell her the baby is stable, but needs his mother to come visit him; it’s vital to help him thrive. Romina says she’ll see if she can get around to it, but in the meantime, take good care of him, okey-dokey? Buh-bye.

Liliana finds Eric on the street and tells him she’s missed him terribly and wants to get back together. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t really love him. She says she does. He says unless she is absolutely sure, she should stay away from him. Lili cries.

Luz lets herself into Gabriel’s place and hunts around looking for him. Yes, she is one of those women who calls, “You-hoooo!” (It’s spelled yuju en español). She finds a sketch of a girl with bangs and braids and seems enchanted by it. Luz writes a note: “Gabriel, where are you? I’m stealing your sketch (bosquejo).” She needs to learn some boundaries.

Gabriel is out pacing in the park. Sandra calls from her sickbed and asks what’s the deal with him taking Paloma to graduation. “Sorry, gotta go,” he says, and hangs up. Romina strolls up, looking remarkably trim. “Hola, guapo,” she says flirtily.

Paloma helps Rufi with some baking. “Mamá’s recipe,” comments Paloma happily. “Yes, your father loved this,” says Rufi. Paloma gets mad and says she doesn’t want to hear anything about that man. Rufi tells her not to believe what he said. Maybe if Rufi would just tell Paloma the truth already, she could have something real to believe. Paloma’s still annoyed, so Rufi tells her the hot gossip about Carlota and Germán to distract her. She says they were shut up in the office for hours and hours (REALLY?! That was some kiss! I’m glad we got the condensed version!) and then Germs left in a hurry and Tia Loca had a fit. Rufi is just saying that she doesn’t think Carlota will attend the trial when the purple cow walks in and says certainly not. No one should. Paloma says she is definitely going. Carloca says fine, but she’s going to hear some very ugly things about Cris and Natalia.

Gabriel asks about Romina’s baby, which she uses as a lead-in to trash-talk Paloma and grope Gabe a bit while asking if he has the hots for Paloma. Gabriel suddenly feels the need to get back to work. “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,” Romina says to herself.

Germán visits Doc Bermúdez. Doc tells him that he and Emiliano doubt the baby’s paternity. Germán says they already did a test. Doc says even so, things just don’t square, and he wants to do another test. Germy says no test; he doesn’t want to know. In his mind, he says if Carlota found out he was the father of Romina’s baby, his scheme with her would be over. (Oh, the irony! Carlota is the one who got the first test faked. I love that Germy still thinks he has the upper hand and hasn’t grasped that Carlota is the root of all Real del Monte evil). Doc B calls him a coward. Germs doesn’t care. He wants to dar la carpetaza to the whole subject (I’m guessing that’s like file it away; be done with it).

Gabriel is hard at work when his dad drops in and can sense something is wrong. Gabriel says he wants to finish up his work and skip town as soon as possible, because he is in love with Paloma. They have a little staring contest. Eugenio is thrilled. Falling in love is great! Gabriel doesn’t like it. Besides, he says, you know my secret, and that I can’t have ataduras (have ties? Relations? Something like that?). Eugenio says finding love is a blessing and he should just go with it. Gabriel wants to use his time to pass on his knowledge and skill. Aww, it’s kind of sweet that his dad just can’t break it to him that he sucks at art. Dad says that love isn’t a waste of time. Sure, I feel that, says Gabe, but what about after?

[I’m leaning toward brain tumor as the diagnosis. It might explain some of the delusions and mood swings. There are also hints pointing toward HIV, but that is very treatable these days, so while I would understand his reluctance to have relations, I’m not sure it would explain the fatalistic “I have limited time” attitude. Then again, this is a telenovela, so regular medical facts need not apply. Then AGAIN, I have learned everything I pretend to know about medicine from television.]

Chava gives Emiliano a tiny pair of soccer shoes and a little soccer ball for the baby. He says he’s going to Padre JC’s trial to support him, which is the very least he can do after all PJC has done for him. Chava hopes someday he can help Emo’s son the way Emo helped him (is he saying he hopes Samito will be an alcoholic dropout?) and he wants to be just like Emo when he grows up. Big hug.

Orlando gives Natalia the letter from Cris. It says he’s very sorry he’s gotten her into this situation and to have faith that soon they will be free. Nat says it is not his fault. Orlando tells her that surely Carlota is responsible, motivated by her sick and twisted obsession with Cris. “Inconceivable!” says Nat. Orly tries to cheer her up a bit and agrees to try to make arrangements for Ivonne to come and visit.

Paloma admires the baby. Emiliano shows up with his friend Alejandro, who is visiting from Guanajuato. Alejandro plays the recorder therapeutically for the baby. Sammy isn’t screaming, so I guess he likes it okay. Paloma tells Emiliano he’s a super good dad. He says she’ll be a great mom someday. He ponders sadly the idea of her in love with another. The hospital staff comes to the window to find out what the hell that noise is…er, I mean, to marvel at the beautiful healing scene.

Germán fetches Cris. It’s time to go. Cris says he hopes the facts will come to light, especially since Natalia has a daughter and it’s about time for their annual two-hour mother-daughter visit. He might not have said that last part.

*I’m guessing; I didn’t actually read it.

Mañana: The trial. Seriously?! Neither the prosecution nor the defense has done any investigating!

Labels: amor