Caray, Caray!

Carlos, I couldn't resist transforming your comment into tonight's title. I hope you don't mind. Anyway, my other ideas were in extremely poor taste so this was my only hope.

Folks, it was a tough night tonight in Gancholand, maybe the worst ever. A good thing happened, and then there was all the other stuff...


We start with wash day in the barrio, Ivan's not doing it right, etc. Then we move to a scene that sends a chill into any woman's heart, hell I'm sure it sends a chill into most men's hearts too. Estrella is being held down by two strong lads who want to have a "little fun" with her. They didn't come to this sewer (cloaca) for nothin' and they want somethin'. Monita, at the wash basin with Ivan, doesn't take Estre's cries for help seriously but finally, "Ahi voy, I'm coming!" Monita sets down the wash and runs into Estre's house.

Hooray Super Monita! The stupid baboons think she's come to join the fun, "Fresh meat!" they say, but our strong little monkey pulls the schoolboys off of her friend and schools them right proper. A few punches to their faces and stomachs sets them packing. As they run away whining for mommy Aldo rushes in wondering what in the heck his "pals" are doing there.

Estre sobs to Aldo that this is what his bragging to the whole school has led to, his friends thing she's a slut (golfa) and they tried to rape her.

Over at Grupo Sermeño Gabi and Sal are thrilled for Mau. Gabi blabs a mile a minute that she's so happy Mau and Moni have resolved their differences. She's sure her romance and love with Salvador are contagious and soon everyone will catch it. Poor Sal can't seem to get a word in but no matter, Gabi is saying it all. Mau tells them his divorce with Coni is war but he'll win. He says nobody and nothing will come between him and Valentina. Oh dear...anvil time. But at least Gabi and Sal are happy at last. Right? Right?

Estrella, who was unable to defend herself against the wannabe rapists, now uses her strength to lash out against Aldo. Because he bragged about her intimate life they now have nothing to talk about. "Largate!" she screams! Of all the ways to tell someone to beat it in Telenovelalandia "largate" seems to be the worst. Aldo tearfully tries to explain but Estrella is on her own tear. She yells at Moni to throw the kid out (sácalo) and Moni finally convinces him to leave. Estre screams "Largate!!! I'm not pregnant with your baby!" as she pushes him out and slams the door shut. She cries on Moni's shoulder that she thought he was grown up but he's just an immature brat (escuincle). This was a tough scene where nobody came out a winner. However it could have gone much worse for our Estrella so let's be thankful for that.

Back at GS it's revealed that Sal plans to travel to Venezuela tomorrow for business. Tonight even simple facts like this seem sinister. Gabi butts in and starts yacking again, this time about their suspicions of Jeronimo and Oscar's shady dealings. Sal thinks Gabi talks too much and should come up for air. Then when she tries to add her two pesos worth about Jero he tells her to shut it, he knows just a little more about business than she does. (Then why did you sign Jero's contract Sal? And when did you become suspicious? Oh yeah, it was AFTER Gabi expressed her suspicions.) Sal tells Mau he's suspicious of Jero and Oski's great deal (ganga). Yes, he signed their documents but he arranged it so they can't have any money until after Licenciado Araujo investigates and reports back this afternoon.

Gabi stops Pau on her way out and asks her to deliver her wedding invitations, or maybe bachelor party invites, to all her pals in the hood. Pau is envious and bummed cuz Chris avoids marriage talk. Gabi tells her to have confidence in herself. Pau also speaks a decent "Very good thank you" in English as evidence her classes in English are working. She talks about being promoted to secretary to the president but Gabi gently smacks her back down to recepcionista. Anything but the janitorial closet should do.

Jero and Oski, fresh from their failed visit to the bank, question Sal about the lack of funding, what's the problem, does Sal need more details (pormenores)? Sal says the answer is easy, he doesn't trust them. He needs to investigate. If everything is OK then tomorrow the bank will release the money, BUT if not watch out.

Oski runs after Sal with a letter opener but of course Sal is gone. They sit down and try to figure out what to do next. This is a problem, if Sal and Mau discover the deal is Monita's neighorhood there will be hell to pay and millions are at stake.

Speaking of the hood, Beto comes home to find his ma getting ready to go to Gabi's despedida. I think she means bachelor party (despedida soltera). She's still got her baby bottle earrings on and is fishing for compliments on her getup. Mau joins them and Nieves leaves the men alone. Beto sits down to tell Mau his problem...

Gabi and Sal again? They sure are getting a lot of screen time tonight. She makes a point of saying she won't see him later that night because it's her bachelor party. Again, an innocent statement that sounds sinister.

Beto tells Mau that Coni has asked him to help find proof that Mau is Furia Enmascarada. As if that's not bad enough he has other news. Beto asks Mau did he know that Monita's mom is alive? Cara impactada de Mauricio.

Mau asks Beto why does he think Moni's ma is alive? Beto says Constancia saw and told him. In fact she bumped right into her. (Hah, nice choice of words, little does he know.) Beto is supicious of our dim hero's reaction and immediately suspects Mau already knew. I think hanging out with Coni is making Beto smarter or maybe just suspicious because he reasons that Mau must have helped Isabel. Beto wants to know how Mau could hide this and Mau wants to know how much Coni knows.

Again with the Gabi and Sal. They're out to dinner making goo goo eyes and discussing their wedding. Sal apologizes for wasting so much time and Gabi says no importa they have forever ahead of them. Oh no, oh yes, oh crap! He tells her that he leaves early in the morning so don't worry about him; he calls her the future Mrs. Ulloa, his savior (salvador) and the love of his life. Clearly they are doomed as evidenced by their perfect happiness.

Beto refuses to listen to Mau because Mau knew! He knew how Moni felt and said nothing? Mau explains that Isabel had him in her hands. Isa hates Monita and he felt it would be better if Moni thought her mother were dead than if she knew her mother was alive and hated her. Mau gets a bad pain in his stomach and Beto asks him if he needs to take a dump (dar portaza a la rata, we've seen this before). Like I said before, I don't write it I just translate it. If Mau were a female he would surely be pregnant, but he's not so what new diabolical plot line to our writers have in store for us? Anyway, Mau tell Beto that they have to work together to keep Monita from finding out.

Back at Grupo Sermeño Sal tells Gabi not to do anything crazy and she happily and ignorantly leaves after a brief PDA. Licenciado Arauja is there and confirms Sal's, supicions, the plans are false and the property is a neighborhood with families. The pics those slimeballs showed Sal were of another property. He hands Sal the real pictures and, oddly, Sal has a black and white flashback of this very colorful neighborhood. In his colorless recollection Gabi comments what a lovely neighborhood it is and what friendly people live there.

If any of you readers imbibe now would be a good time to pour yourself a stiff one. Be it wine, whiskey, tea or anything else, get it now.

Oski, waiting in front of the building, answers his phone. It's Jeronimo who is bugging him every five minutes. Oski tells Jero that the licenciado is inside with Sal and surely they will figure out the the property is Monita's neighborhood then this plan will be their downfall (nuestra derrota). Oski insists he will find a way to make sure Sal isn't a hindrance to them. Suddenly Oski sees Isabel walk into the building. I guess he recognizes her.

Licenciado Araujo leaves and as the elevator doors open Isabel walks in asking for Mauricio. She says she is Isabel lopez, the mother of Valentina. She tells Sal she is more alive than ever and Mauricio knows it. Witch.

Outside, Oski pays off Araujo's taxi driver to leave. He sees Araujo, says sorry your taxi had to leave and can he give him a ride? Clearly Oski's slimy reputation precedes him because Araujo refuses. Oski says they need to talk so Arauja had better join him for better or worse. Araujo refuses because Oski and Jero are slime and he suggests Oski get himself a good lawyer. Holy Crap, as Araujo walks away Oski grabs him and smashes his head against the wall once, twice, thrice. "Nobody's going to get me!" yells Oski. Araujo crumples leaving a smear of blood on the wall. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot????

Sal tells Isa he's Mau's confidante. Why is her business with Mau so mysterious? He can only imagine it's nothing good. Sal presses until Isa answers that she and Mau had a contract...and he helped her fake her death. Satisfied?

Mau tells Beto that Isa isn't a good person, she hates Monita. Beto asks then why did she come around asking forgiveness? Because she was very sick and needed a marrow (medula) transplant from her own daughter. Beto thinks this sounds like a friggin' telenovela what with the MEDUSA transplant and all. (Good malapropism there Beto.) Mau tells Beto that he fooled Monita for her own good. Isa is cold blooded and Moni can't know her mother is alive.

Oski roughly throws the limp Licenciado in his trunk. He sees Coni drive up and hides behind his car, the little rat.

Sal has a hard time wrapping his head around Isa's comment. He starts rubbing his arm and heart; Sal's heart attack is pretty much right on cue. Isa doesn't notice, she leaves her number with Sal to give Mau. Meanwhile Sal is losing feeling in his left hand. He tries to follow Isabel while rubbing his left arm and accuses her of only coming for more money. If that's what it's about just tell him how much she wants. Naturally Coni walks in and overhears. Oddly neither of the women notice Sal is having a serious attack. Are they blind? Isa tells Sal that Mau has 24 hours to contact her. She has ice for blood and does a great job of ignoring Coni.

Isa leaves and Sal grabs Coni to prevent her from following. Coni pushes him away and she starts to leave too. By this time Sal can hardly stand, he tries to call Mau and gets weepy Aldo. Where's your dad?

Poor Aldo is still sobbing over Estre. Sal wants Mau's number and writes it down. Of course evil Coni listens and snatches the phone away and eats the number. Hey, shouldn't she be over her food cravings by now?

More Mau and Beto with Mau asking Beto not to judge him before he knows all the truth. Mau flashes back to the creepy scene where Isa explains she loathes Monita because will always remind Isa of the horrible thing that happened to her. Monita is the product of that violation. Isa gives her word that if Mau helps Isa then Isa will never come back. After the operation she'll disappear. The scene goes on MUCH longer but we get the point. Mau tells Beto that's the only reason he agreed to help, so that Monita would never know how her mother really felt about her.

Sal is clearly having a heart attack (or stroke?) and now Oski walks in to further agitate our Sal. Stupid Sal, instead of sitting, continues to scream at Oscar and tells him he'll see him and Jero in jail. Finally Coni looks concerned and asks him to calm down. Of all the dumb things, Sal decides to give Oski a punch. Of course Oski starts beating Sal. Coni tries to call for help but Oski grabs the phone out of her hand as Sal falls to the floor. Coni runs to Sal, quickly runs through her litany of excuses and concludes with "Forgive me Salvador, forgive me!"

Sigh...end of episode.

On a brighter note, I spoke to Schoolmarm Jeanne a couple of days ago and she learned a couple of new dichos that I'll share with you:

Yo no soy uno por poner un alacrán en la espalda = Can't pull one over on me, I'll keep a close eye on the situation (I'm not someone to put a scorpion on my back)

La persona no ha nacido que puede contar mis muelas = The person hasn't been born who can put one over on me. (The person hasn't been born who can count my molars)

Labels: gancho