Wednesday, February 22, 2012
El Talismán #16 Tue 2/21/12 ¿Quién Es Más Tonto?
- Camila, for asking ElVeneno for advice
- Blue Lass, for shouting at the TV -- again
- Genoveva, for thinking that donning a giant dangly pair of earrings made out of oysters is going to quell those rumors about her
- Lucrazy, for coming up with the story of the Giant Grain Factory in San Francisco
- Pedro, for believing the story of the Giant Grain Factory in San Francisco
- Tía, for leaving the room
- Don G, for hanging onto the real will
- Doris, for forgetting for the entire series that she comes from a rich family and doesn’t need to spend her time pawing at weirdos
- The writers, for introducing a plot-altering secret inheritance letter completely off-screen, presumably while the entire viewing audience was being held captive in some living/dining/drawing/hotel room by a zombie conversation that refused to die
- Armando, for taking ElVíbora’s advice
- Las Jailbait, for believing that these coches are anything other than a plot device to get them into more trouble [Note that the bingo square for “car accident” is still enticingly empty]
- Madame Brigitte (off-screen), for thinking she can successfully blackmail a man who has already gotten away with maiming/killing and/or threatening to maim/kill several characters with whom he does NOT have a totally secret relationship
- Camila, for not listening to Pedro
- The actress who plays Julia, for thinking this job would be her big break in television, instead of the matacarreras it will undoubtedly turn out to be
- Pedro, for…GOD…everything
Labels: Talisman
O! M! G!
This is one of the best and funniest recaps... ever. I'm in awe.
Now that I understand what the actors and writers are up to, I'm really enjoying this show.
Carlos
lost it from
Tía (with a wolfish grin): Let me just put on my glasses…the better to see you with, my dear. Coffee?
Lucrazy: Sure! With fake sugar, please. Coz there’s not enough heavy symbolism in this episode yet.
on!... completely hysterical!!
and I didn't even watch the episode!
-- The Fresno School of Stalker-Friendly Hospitality Management
-- The potential insults for ElViral: El Veneno, El Víbora ... a rich vein opened for us all!
-- not enough fake symbolism already
-- Geno dispelling rumors with giant oyster earrings
-- Question pulled after exper review
New compounds that roll right off the tongue
-- matacarreras
-- compragranos
This is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
O. M. G.
"Renato: Just think of all the kitty treats I can buy you with her money.
Kitten: Purr."
For the quiz, I am answering Pedro and Camila for every question. They are the most tontastic, even in the scenes they are not involved in. "I will believe everything a known skanky lying schemer tells me! Also, I will not spend my few hours' wait time on the interwebs checking out this supposed compragranos." "I will also believe anything known villains tell me. And I will also not spend a few hours' forced delay asking around and trying to verify the information I've been given." They are perfect for each other.
So now the girls are in university? REALLY? They can't be that old. They're just super smart and studious as a form of rebellion against their brainwasteland family, and started college at 16, right? It's funny that they know all about the whorehouse. Gagorio probably thinks that's a big secret, along with the will.
For the quiz, I am answering Pedro and Camila for every question. They are the most tontastic, even in the scenes they are not involved in.
i didn't even see last night's show but i dont feel i missed a beat with Blue Lass' depiction.
I just love your ¿Quién Es Más Tonto? game show theme. Kind of reminds me of the old SNL skits ¿Quién Es Más Macho?. Except that you version is WAY funnier. I think all my favorite lines have already been mentioned.
Es obvio that Pedro (or should I say Piedro) will always be Más Tonto. As EJ once said, this guy is dumber than a box of rocks. Camila is definitely a close second.
Gotta say I'm liking Tia more and more, but I wish she'd do more than just walk around the house handing out advice and grimacing at LooKrazia. Something funny I noticed last night, the only time Rafael Novoa seems remotely interested in what he's doing is when he's conversing with Tia. I wonder why that is?
Funniest product placement ever: Las Jailbait having ad nauseum conversation between the two cars and all you could see was their tiny heads popping up between the scene-stealing cars. OK, we GET it! Buy Chevrolet and we, too, can be instantly enrolled in university snag loads like Armani.
I know those girls (women? in college? no way) are rich but with gas at over $4 per gallonn, couldn't they still carpool? They can show off their cars one at a time and put the money they save towards feathers. Or birth control because lord knows we don't need any more of this gene pool running around, not even in Fresno.
Kelly
And Kelly, I adore being toasted with nose-blown coffee. Champagne is highly overrated.
This is a brilliant recap. You are a genius.
I loved the following:
"Elvira: Hmmm, these pills are supposed to stop Gregorio’s heart. But he doesn’t have a heart – better go get some rat poison."
and
"Genoveva, for thinking that donning a giant dangly pair of earrings made out of oysters is going to quell those rumors about her."
and
"Doris, for forgetting for the entire series that she comes from a rich family and doesn’t need to spend her time pawing at weirdos."
Wonderful theme, beautifully executed.
You also managed to thoroughly shame any random Venevision/Televisa Studios execs who happen to be reading our Caray Caray comments on their three-margarita lunch hours. They are now saying, "O why didn't I promote ElTal as a COMEDY with a paid tie-in to the upcoming "Casa de mi Padre" from Will Farrell?"
I adored this recap. One of my favs—ever. Thanks for all the work, dear la Bleu.
EJ
Julia - your "tontastic" is perfect for our poor couple. This TN keeps making itself a stand-out "script" for how to write the worst TN ever.
This recap is amazing. Amazing! GAwd there are no words. Brilliant. I'm still laughing my tuchis off.
I'm not even watching this dreck, but your brilliant game show recap caught my eye.
Hats off to a very clever recapper!
R-la-O. You literally had me from the first title line "Quien es mas tonto?" to the last line about the already-seen avances "way to build suspense, guys". I loved how you interjected yourself into the scenes. My favorite choice was the one about Gen's oyester earrings! lol
For as skinny as Camila is, she sure was chowing down at that outdoor breakfast at The Only Table at The Only Inn. Then here comes Elvira ruining everyone's appetite. I am not a fan of the "mother who betrays her daughter's happiness for a chance at big money or revenge" plotline. I got it with Fina and Renata, but how can Elvira do that to her own sweet daughter?
Kelly - So funny wondering about why they didn't carpool and save their money for birth control... haven't you heard: All they need is an aspirin between the knees!
Why did Armani follow F2? Is he going to hit on her too?
Marta - Re: your The Voice comment. I was watching American Idol and saw the same Camila outfit - jacket, lace, jeans and a huge feather - on Steven Tyler.
Thanks again, Blue Lass. I am so glad the answer to your Mas Tonto question was not "Us, for watching this in the first place". Your recap redeems us!
Rosemary la Otra
Jajajaja...
EJ
"zombie conversation that refused to die"
Sounds like a phrase that could describe 9/10 of this lamentable show.
Great recap though.
R la O, yep Armani is planning to hit on younger sis to "divide and conquer" according to mom's wishes. I literally laughed out loud when he griped that the younger isn't as hot as the older. Kind of a slam to the actress.
Yes, and it's not easy to grow pasta, let me tell you. Poor Pedro never knew how to identify the pasta plants.
Let's see, rice, pasta, salt and MSG, any other ingredients in Rice-a-Roni?
I bet that "fine" restaurant at the Only Hotel Inn serves up a mean Rice-a-Roni—locally grown of course.
EJ
To divide and conquer the sisters? That will help El Viral how? She really is a biiootch first messing with her own daughter's psyche and then these two young girls. There's lemming Armani just following his mother's bizarre demands. I need to embrace the telenovela frame of mind when watching the damage being done to these kids, including Camila. I'd prefer to send EJ and Karen down there to help them.
R la O
IS Golden Grains (Rice-a-Roni's parent co.) REALLY based in SF?
"Her daddy is a big ol’ compragranos and he wants to comprar your grano." Again, Blue Lass, with the wonderful compounds. I am still chortling.
EJ
Anita
Could you send Karen and I to Chiapas (LQNPA) instead of Fresno? Those folks need help with conflict resolution, common sense and behavior mod, STAT. It's grim over there at Hacienda del Fuerte. Big grin.
EJ
well, it went back and forth for several minutes, and he kept it all very humoristic... it was nice to see him smile and laugh that much, after the bits i have seen of LQNPA
R la O, good luck getting EJ and Karen to do a busman's "holiday" in Fresno, cuz you know, Fresno is such a grand holiday destination.
Step 2: They will fight with each other over him.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!
Do you see the problem with this plan? Hint: It's in Step 2. Why is this oaf worth fighting over? Maybe they'll just both dump you, mama's-boy-loser.
No way is Piedro's Rice-a-Roni crop going to sell. I heard a rumor over at Alcatrash that he sucks at growing pasta and his orzo is all coming up rotelli.
(I am not a robot). When will they believe me? Am I going to have to ask Lookrazy to tell them??
That is hysterical! I haven't seen the movie (been meaning to) but it sounds like Salinas has a great sense of humor.
So Marta, the $64,000. question that they have been asking over on LQNPA is...does the character's (Rogelio) instrument work? I think Slainas has proven that he has no problem in this area.
Still laughing with all of you over Blue Lass' genius recap.
EJ
Thanks, Kalifornia Krew, for the info on Rice a Roni! I was trying to figure out what type "grano" the avocado ranch might be trying to sell. You guys are all right.
"No way is Piedro's Rice-a-Roni crop going to sell. I heard a rumor over at Alcatrash that he sucks at growing pasta and his orzo is all coming up rotelli." Hee hee!!
Between Julia's and Emilia's pasta jokes I think we are on a new plot roll here.
NM--"Then we wouldn't enjoy the Troll's shirt collection or ElViral's halo collection quite as much."
Speaking of the halo collection, Elivral spent what seemed like two whole days at the salon de belleza to make herself impossible for El Troll to resist. Then we see her in her everyday wear (what happened to to magenta halo and the funny little braidy curlicues) and she hasn't even run into him yet.
Cap'n--I think you got it right. Pedro the Piedro (I like that one) is the most tonto galan in tn history (or at least my watching history).
Julia--I did a WTH with a double-take and whiplash over the two 15-year-olds who are just getting their learners to Fully-Qualified and Licensed Drivers attending University in the space of one overnight. My my, it must be those avocados and raisins--and now bowl-fulls of Rice-A-Roni (which I particularly loved as a new bride xx of years ago).
EJ--You forgot that they wave half a chicken over those industrial cauldrons of steaming Rice-A-Roni to give it that chickeny flavor.
..and the two hour wait thing. How made up and artificial can you get...I wish the writers would stop insulting our intelligence. Ooops, I forgot, this is a comedy.
Haha, that's funny, a two hour wait before Camila gets to see her love together with his wife before she leaves town--and how did ElVibora know that the two would be nuzzling hands at the cafe? What's WRONG with this picture, Camila--maybe I was wrong, Camila is the most tonta?
If they were married, wouldn't Piedro just drop his wife off and drive back home to deal with his underperforming grano while wifey goes through security and watches CNN, Fox or MSNBC (whatever is running at the Fresno airport) for an hour before the flight.
EJ--Ana Paula has it worse than Camila, no? At least Camila doesn't believe Piedro murdered Mariana to make her stay by his side. Maybe Miguel would be willing to come to El Tal for awhile (he's about as effective as Armanio) and we send Genoveva to El Fuerte to try to talk some sense into Ana.
Where do the writers get their ideas? Surrogate womb provider and Lukraizy-For-Sure is the volunteer and she and Piedro have been working at it? Does fake Mariana get to watch?
Loved the whole "instrument" works or not dialog.
Anita
Oh my, I love pasta jokes.
I like the idea of sending Genoveva to El Fuerte. She and Cynthia would be a great couple. And Miguel could take on the bolnde 16-year old college student since she's (poor thing) irrelevant.
Kelly
Top o' the comments:
“Pedro and Camila…are the most tontastic” (Julia)
“Pedro (or should I say Piedro)” (Cap’n Sylvia)
“Couldn't they still carpool…and put the money they save towards birth control because lord knows we don't need any more of this gene pool running around, not even in Fresno.” (Kelly)
“any random Venevision/Televisa Studios execs who happen to be reading our Caray Caray comments on their three-margarita lunch hours” (EJ)
“all the plot (ok, I'm using the term loosely)” (Karen)
“saw the same Camila outfit - jacket, lace, jeans and a huge feather - on Steven Tyler” (R la O)
“Do you see the problem with this plan? Hint: It's in Step 2. Why is this oaf worth fighting over?” (Julia)
“he sucks at growing pasta and his orzo is all coming up rotelli” (Julia)
And Carlos, now that you "understand what the actors and writers are up to"...I'm really worried about you.
Blue Lass, if I did make it clear enough earlier let me try again. You (and all the El Tal) recappers are freaking geniuses. Y'all top yourselves every week. The whole game show thing is so funny. Every line is side-bar worthy.
All the commenters: Y'all are right up there in your genius/snark/wit.
By the way, I am printing that out now, planing on using it as a study guide this week, and was shocked to see it is 43 PAGES long! My, we are a chatty bunch!
Word verifications: estriver and teat. Really?
R la O
I'm fluent in Snark
---
NO!!! Echa la culpa a mí...no sabía que mensa=estúpida. Soy mensa y no merezco ser miembro de MENSA.
:-(
I want to know, though...is menso(-a) as strong as estúpida/idiota/imbécil?
I was talking to my hondureña student today and she was saying that in her opinion estúpida, imbécil and idiota were really strong words and she considered them words not to say often. She said it almost hurts her ears when her classmates throw around the English "idiot" so much.
Native speakers?
Interesting about the title change from "Las Estúpidas ..." to "Las Tontas...", Julia. Makes sense though.
I am assuming some less offensive alternatives are:
tonto/a
payaso/a
and now... menso/a
Sometimes I find the cultural aspects of the language to be the hardest thing. Pout.
In my experience, "menso/a" and "tonto/a" aren't necessarily insults, but calling someone "estupido/a" "imbecil" or "idiota" is a huge insult...right up there with calling someone a "baboso/a" and calling someone an "infeliz". You don't mess around with those!
----
AGREED!!!
Quick unscientific poll (since I thought of it while watching the last half of yesterday's episode)
___ Yes, you *can* have too many story lines.
___ NO you *can't* have too many story lines.
'Cause seriously, last week they were throwing new characters at us every day and now they seem to be throwing new stories at us.
And obviously the writers can't remember what they've written. Last week Las Jailbait were 16 and now they are at the university?
NovelaMaven had the right idea...obviously the actors are handed an index card right before shooting and telling them to improv.
Example:
El Tal is a circo-bring on the extra plot lines because I have now expectations of them being "wrapped up" in a nice little bow.
The plot lines of TdA drove me up the wall because it really kept the show down at the mediocre barely passable level.
¿me entiende?
Julia--I am going to use your bingo idea for my Spanish class. I am going to give the kids a blank grid and a loooong list of Telenovela dialogue cliches (ie: que haces aqui, no me toques, te amo etc) and have them mark them as they watch.
We've been watching Rosalinda in class and I've got one student who is completely in love with it. She is researching it online, she's learned about Tahlia...today I mentioned I was watching one of Thalia's early TNs and this student pops up "Was it MariMar?"
Should I feel guilty about this?
Until somebody dies *cough*Alex*cough*
EJ, "Pedro is growing arrozarrones"...a 10 from the Russian judge on that one!
Sara, I'm also thinking NO you can't have too many story lines. The beauty with this novela is that if a story line gets dropped or forgotten (which would not surprise me) I doubt anyone would notice. The writers don't seem too bothered with those pesky writing skills such as character development, chronology, plots that make sense, good dialogue, suspense, etc.
---
Clearly
"...then they don't feel so compelled to keep having the main couple make up and break up for increasingly idiotic reasons just to have something happening."
---
Except in TdA they had the main couple broken up and didn't get them back together...though there was not reason NOT to! lol
Take Eva Luna--the storylines they had were all intertwined based on blood or marriage relationships, except for the Marisol and Francisco story, which we got for comic relief. I guess I could have done without Adriancito's padre-thief. He could have just been an abandoned child from the git-go.
CME was pretty good, too, about keeping the storylines within the blood, marriage or love relationships, except for the Blanca story. We never were told how she fit in or why she picked poor Honorio to scam, but she's gone now and so we can't ask her.
So far, the writers of El Tal have thrown us the extra storylines and characters, they think, slowly, so we can absorb them--like Doris and her bordello madam, the F girls & Armanio, Renato and his chick, Texas Valley Girl (I don't think we'll see her again), or Panchito the Bastardo. Maybe they feel they're saving us from visual and dialog overload by not introducing everyone at once.
But, it's only my opinion.
Anita
I don't like the F girls. And I don't like Armanio much either. Based on tonight's episode, I don't think the poor guy has enough neural synapses firing to keep two high-strung girls going at the same time without a major breakdown.
Let's see if later on we could have written all three of them out of El Tal.
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