Friday, February 24, 2012
El Talismán #18 Thu 2/23/12 Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Act 1 - Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown
A charmingly scantily-clad mistress and her suitor are interrupted by a rough-hewn miscreant and his boot-licking lacky. Aha! The lovely lady calls this paunchy, pox-marked pignut “Papa”, a tragedy for her. He orders his minion to aim his arquebus and shoot the gentleman. The lady throws herself in front of her love (Pedro by name), and cries that he did not trespass, she invited him to their lands called El Alcatraz. The gentleman Pedro says nothing, and in fact appears befuddled. Sir, are you or are you not going to protect your lady’s honour?
On another stage two young lovers, named Armando and Fabiola, bid a hasty adieu. The young master seems in a hurry to depart, especially when he spies another lass, golden tresses swaying in the breeze. Methinks this young jackanapes is up to no good.
In the forest two earnest young mistresses discuss a gentleman. He is married but his wife Mariana has been missing lo these many years. What if he declares himself widowed and she reappears? And did he really only love her as a sister when they married? The larger of the two, a veritable amazon if you will, Camila by name, frets excessively, and loves the gentleman. The smaller mistress, called Tracy, urges Camila to pursue the man, “those who dare not, win not”. Well said young miss. But then they mention the young gentleman by name. It is none other than Pedro! By my troth, I would vouchsafe that this Pedro is no gentleman. A wife gone missing, a lady on the hook, and now another one mewling and pining for him. Oddly, the two mistresses later repeat this conversation in a different location but with unchanged dialogue.
Back at the first stage the fly-bite of a father is in full-gorge, and makes to strike the daughter, whose name we learn is Lucrecia. At last Pedro awakes and springs into action, breaking the blow and commanding the vile father “Dare not to strike her!” Pedro, still bravely hiding behind his lady, taunts the minion and dares him to shoot. The father grabs the lady, so fetchingly clad in scarves and vapours, and swears this is a family matter. Now there is another lady behind Gregorio, lending support to him and shaking her fist at Pedro. “How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child,” Gregorio bellows to Lucrecia (a loose translation, I admit).
Inside the domicile, Gregorio commands Lucrecia to begone from the castle. Lucrecia, arms akimbo, is a spirited wench and full of fire. She tells her swag-bellied father that she knows her mother left her an inheritance, thus she is as much an owner of the castle and lands as her father. (What laws be these? A woman, queen of the castle equal to her father?) She mentions a brother who is to inherit as well. She cares not what the whey-faced elder thinks, she will marry Pedro! (Not while he is married, methinks.)
Gadzooks, I like this plot already.
At another castle the rockablock Pedro natters to an elder lady about the stupidity of his actions. She vehemently and loudly concurs that he is nought but a roguish ratsbane. To wit, a complete idiot for visiting the castle of his dangerous enemy. But she is fond of the lad and worries only for his well-being.
On the grounds outside are three lads, one of which appears to live in a pigsty. The rank lad, Panchito by name, attempts to warn the others about the dangerous Gregorio, but the two handsome lads espy two young maidens (one of whom is dusky Fabiola, the other her fair sister) and peep through the forest as the maidens titter, each about their own true loves. Methinks these two are in love with the same varlot Armando, and he is tricking them. The maidens plan a rendezvous and one of the handsome lads dashes out of the forest and vows his love to the golden-tressed maiden, whose name is Florencia.
Pedro and the Good Lady, whom he calls Aunt, are on the other side of the forest, and another fetching lass runs up and cries in dismay that Claudio and Gabriel have gone to the enemy castle.
It is Claudio who loves Florencia, and she implores him to leave, she must off to the church and pray with her sister. The maidens have acrobatic talent, and walk on spiked shoes.
How now? Yet another character, she is sad. Aha, she is mother to the varlot Armando, and tells him she should never have made a devil’s bargain with a villain named Antonio Negrete. She displays a voluminous drapery in bright color, a hideous garment of some sort, and asks the lad if he met the Negrete maidens. The ill-nurtured, jolt-head of a lad brags that within a week he will have successfully wooed them both.
Gregorio’s minion, whose name is Valentin, has worked his bowels into a twist, and he cries to the Gods that he knows not what Gregorio will do since he did not kill Pedro as commanded. The pig-lad Panchito is in the room (sleeping of course), hears these mutterings, and asks if Valentin is embattled with his own father. (His father? Gregorio is this puttock's father?) Valentin warns him to keep silent, lest someone hear this truth. At that moment a churlish, clay-brained clackdish enters the stage; it is none other than the true heir Antonio Negrete. He is in a foul humour and, upon discovering that Valentin did not put a bullet into Pedro, flies into a fury, splashing his aqua vitae about the room.
Act 2 - Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps
Florencia admits to her sister that she cares for the lad Claudio, but she does not love him as she loves Jose. (Who is the jackanapes, cloaked in a false name, lest you forget. I, myself, am becoming confused.) Florencia claims Jose has enchanted her. This I believe to be true, as I have observed both Jose and Claudio. Claudio is heartfelt and handsome, while Jose/Armando is a bootless, beef-witted barnacle.
Inside the castle the rabble and row continues, and Lucrecia vows she only wants Pedro. She will give up her inheritance, let Gregorio have it all, and sign away both her share and Antonio’s...perchance. “Perchance?” queries Gregorio. He laughs and says he will not make contracts with his offspring, they are to obey him. Lucrecia wants Gregorio to help her as she will one day be Lady of Pedro’s lands, called El Talismán. Gregorio snorts that Pedro loves Camila, and will never marry Lucrecia.
Elsewhere in the castle Antonio has calmed himself, and jealously curses his sister for loving the “common native” Pedro. (Even though Pedro is a landowner and, as such, in a higher caste than Antonio.) The pig-lad asks isn’t Antonio doing likewise, as he is in love with Camila? (Camila, the amazon maiden who loves Pedro.) Antonio claims he is different, he is a Negrete. This implied insult to the bastard son causes much ill-feeling as you might imagine. The pig-lad defers to his better (as is his station), and as he departs Antonio hurls his last insult, calling Panchito an upstart crow, as vile an invective as one could fling at a bastard. Alone, Panchito vows that one day Antonio will regret his words.
Antonio secretly removes a vial and places it on his fathers study. He snarls that the pig-lad believes Gregorio’s blood flows through his veins. He asks Valentin to whom will he pledge his fealty, to Gregorio or to Antonio? Valentin believes Gregorio will never forgive him, and so throws his lot in with the poisonous malcontent.
Camila’s small companion, called Tracy, believes that Antonio and Lucrecia devised a plot whereby Camila was tricked into thinking Pedro’s wife is still living at El Talisman. Camila wants to go to Pedro but is afraid. Tracy believes they can go through the kitchen, which seems an odd plan to me, for why can Camila not announce herself at the front gate?
In the forest Pedro and the elder lady spy the young lads who have sneacked back onto their lands escorted by the bastard Panchito. Pedro lashes the lads with harsh words, and reminds them that the boar-pig Gregorio would kill them if given the chance. Panchito decides that helping Pedro woo Camila will be the best way to exact revenge upon his half-brother Antonio.
Lucrecia, who I have come to believe is a saucy, folly-fallen strumpet, vows that she is more woman than Camila and will win Pedro’s heart. Gregorio is understandably mollified by this brazen stance and takes his leave, advising his daughter she can do what she likes but he will continue looking for his own nefarious ways to get El Talismán for himself.
Now the lady who has silently watched this scene speaks, and calls Lucrecia sister-in-law. She laughs at Lucrecia’s misfortune for loving a man that will never love her. Lucrecia says in fact they are the same, for Antonio does not love his wife either. Antonio’s wife brags that at least she has two daughters by the man she loves. Zounds, but this family is a nest of vipers if there ever was one.
Camila and Tracy enter El Talismán through the servants kitchen, and the scullery maid avers that Pedro’s wife has been missing from the lands for many years, and when Mariana did live there she never shared a bed with Pedro. (Verily, this Pedro does seem more like a gelding or a mare, than a hero, to my eyes.) But at that moment Pedro enters the scullery and the heretofore milk-livered Camila, without further ado, begs his forgiveness and embraces him in a manner most unmaidenly!
Act 3 - A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.
Antonio feigns surprise at finding his father’s medicine (the vial which he himself placed on the study) and gives it to Valentin to administer to Gregorio, thus ensuring that Valentin is linked to Antonio through perfidy. Valentin questions the urgency for administering the pills and Antonio, decadent, his fingers ever fiddling about his cod-piece and not temperate in his drinking, swears he does not want to kill his father, but rather he wishes to leave him live, disabled, a vegetable, because he wants his father to see him running the lands and giving orders without asking permission. Gregorio will be nobody other than the father of Lord Antonio Negrete.
Antonio’s wife, called Doris, advises Lucrecia that she has no chance of winning Pedro’s love as long as Camila is alive. “Then I swear I will kill her,” vows Lucrecia.
Gregorio flees to his room, clutching his heart and panting in breathless anger. Doris follows to aid him, but Gregorio only wants her to look beautiful for tonight. He is attending the great ball and she is to accompany him. I daresay this neglected but succulent plum is ripe for the plucking.
Pedro and Camila are happy at last, but the course of true love never did run smooth. Tracy and the scullery maid watch them kiss, and they are joined by another wench who quickly runs back to her own lands. She is maid to Lucrecia and she returns to El Alcatraz to tell her indolent mistress that she saw Camila embracing Pedro. Lucrecia vows to make Pedro feel so sorry for her that he will not reject her.
Pedro believes Antonio set the trap, but Camila believes Lucrecia set the trap. Camila even reveals to him that Lucrecia said she would have his babe. Pedro vehemently denies this and promises Camila is the only one who will bear his children. He swears he will get a divorce from the missing Mariana so that he can live life again with Camila at his side.
Oho! New characters, a dark-eyed wench and an aging and withered Ganymede. They are searching for something and find it, a bundle of currency hidden, but in truth not well enough. With this money he can impress Elvira, the mother of the lie-about Armando. And if her children don’t accept him he will boot them out into the cold.
Act 4 - Get thee to a nunnery*
The Ganymede, whose name is Renato, reveals that he has not met Elvira’s daughter, our heroine Camila. He calls the dark wench niece, but kisses her like a lover, and angers her when he vows to conquer Elvira and take her fortune.
Elvira, a shard-borne harpy if there ever was one, caresses her son’s face in a manner most questionable, and admires his eyes. She’s proud that he is tricking the Negrete maidens, and vows to get back at Gegorio through them. Armando, practically at the pap, (though she calls him man) wishes to please his mother, but is troubled by his pea-sized conscience.
Doris is summoned by a lady named Bridgette, but it turns out this Bridgette is no lady. She runs a house of ill-repute and Doris is one of her prize harlots and in great demand this very night. Doris has other plans and will attend the great ball with Gregorio. Bridgette warns her to be careful, some of their gentlemen callers might be at the ball and could recognize Doris, even though she plies her wanton trade in disguise. Doris vows that once she spends a night with Gregorio he will never share her with another and she will not return to the brothel.
Valentin delivers the tainted medicine to the lumpish lout Gregorio.
Antonio Negrete may be evil to the world, but he shows affection to his daughters. He commands them to summon their suitors to him tomorrow so that he can assess their intentions toward his daughters.
Their suitors are one man, the lackluster Armando, who whines to his mam that their plot is becoming too complicated for his frothy, fen-sucked brain. Elvira warns him that above all else he must avoid falling in love with the daughters.
At the neighboring castle, Pedro proudly parades Camila through the grounds to let the minions know she will be the lady of El Talismán.
*In my day a subtle term for brothel.
Act 5 - Though this be madness, yet there is method in't
Lucrecia tells Antonio that Camila knows he was behind the plot to trick her into believing Mariana was living at El Talismán. Antonio swaggers in ruttish fury and manhandles his sister in a manner not entirely brotherly. For her part, Lucrecia entices his anger in a manner not entirely sisterly, and retreats at the approach of his advancing codpiece armor. He flies into a rage when she reveals that Camila now thinks the worst of him.
Antonio’s anger overcomes his sense and reason and he strikes his sister. Yet she continues to urge him on to violence, telling him he will never be the man Pedro is. He strikes her again and again, and she continues to entice him. He beats her senseless and friends, methinks this was all part of her plan.
The minions of El Talismán are happy to meet the new Lady, they would be fools to act otherwise. But she is gracious and promises Pedro they will never be separated. They agree they need to be very careful of both Antonio and Lucrecia and their plotting. They are in love, yet exceedingly doltish.
Antonio and Lucrecia are exhausted and in a heap. He pleads with her why did she drive him to such violence? She knows he can’t control his drunken anger. She smiles and tells Antonio with this bloodied and beaten face she will be able to achieve her goal.
Antonio is worried that Lucrecia will report him to the constabulary and to his father. Au contraire, she replies, she will tell Pedro that Gregorio beat her and thus throw herself on Pedro’s mercy.
Our final scene is a pleasant one, in which our ho-hum hero and heroine are blissfully unaware of the harebrained plot being contrived against them.
Pedro, droning and dizzy-eyed, assures Camila that his kisses now are better than the first time. (Ye Gods, the man who wrote that line should be disemboweled. Then drawn and quartered.) Camila, too much of a lady to say otherwise, allows him to prove it.
And on that temporarily happy note my friends, the curtain closes on our preposterous play. Until tomorrow...
I am your humble servant,
Will,
Formerly Stratford-upon-Avon
Labels: Talisman
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By the Bard, I am officially envious. This be better than anything I have ever written and for a tale mostly unworthy of thy style.
Methinks that Doris will soon be unmasked as a minion of Bridgette the Bawd.
In truth, the tale Anonymous be a falsehood.
Methinks that Doris will soon be unmasked as a minion of Bridgette the Bawd.
In truth, the tale Anonymous be a falsehood.
Indeed, I fear Doris's days are numbered and she would do well to make herself comfortable at the brothel.
I'm glad you enjoyed our guest recapper. He seemed to enjoy the excessively tangled plot. Although I did sense some impatience with the simplistic dialogue, and who can blame him?
I'm glad you enjoyed our guest recapper. He seemed to enjoy the excessively tangled plot. Although I did sense some impatience with the simplistic dialogue, and who can blame him?
Will, you are a brave lad indeed to dare to fill in for our talented tartlet the fair Sylvia... yet in your queer way, you have actually succeeded in providing us with a serviceable tale. You do have a knack for this sort of thing.
Carlos the Envious
Carlos the Envious
Wow, was that you Cap'n? Amazing! I am in awe!
Methinks someone is a scholar.
Audrey
Methinks someone is a scholar.
Audrey
Permalink posted by 
: Friday, February 24, 2012 at 7:16:00 AM EST
: Friday, February 24, 2012 at 7:16:00 AM EST
Forgot to tell you how much I liked this line:
The larger of the two, a veritable amazon if you will, Camila by name, frets excessively, and loves the gentleman.
Then later when you said they had the same conversation in a different location...very funny!
The larger of the two, a veritable amazon if you will, Camila by name, frets excessively, and loves the gentleman.
Then later when you said they had the same conversation in a different location...very funny!
Verily, I am impressed. And yet I am disappointed that the word verily did not actually appear. Bad Bard. (ahem)
Strangely I'm even more impressed that Antonio and Lucrecia's ridiculously inappropriate chemistry carried over to his drunkenly smacking her around, which went all the way into Lifetime TV-movie territory (complete with his crying about how sorry he was). They need to just go the extra mile and, whenever we finally get a scene of Doris and Antonio getting it on, have him hallucinate that it's really Lucrecia...oh, the heads that would explode over that...
Strangely I'm even more impressed that Antonio and Lucrecia's ridiculously inappropriate chemistry carried over to his drunkenly smacking her around, which went all the way into Lifetime TV-movie territory (complete with his crying about how sorry he was). They need to just go the extra mile and, whenever we finally get a scene of Doris and Antonio getting it on, have him hallucinate that it's really Lucrecia...oh, the heads that would explode over that...
Let me begin this observation by acknowledging the obvious:
El Talismán
is no Un Gancho al Corazón.
That said, I'd like to offer up for your consideration a similarity in the two that my fevered mind thinks it has noticed... that is the parallels I see in my favorite couples in each show... Coni and Beto and Lucrezia and Tony.
Coni pursued Mao even though we all knew that her chemistry was with Beto.
Lu is chasing Pedro but there's electricity between her and Tony.
you may see where this is going...
Beto thought he deserved Monita but...
Tony wants Camila however...
And of course Monita/Mao and Camila/Pedro... destined by the writers to end up together... and need I point out that all four of these were no doubt alumni of the short bus?
Monita and Beto... reared as brother and sister
Lu and Tony... brother and sister (allegedly)
Monita/Beto, Lu/Tony... far more interesting and entertaining.
Maybe I should just take some Tylenol.
Carlos
El Talismán
is no Un Gancho al Corazón.
That said, I'd like to offer up for your consideration a similarity in the two that my fevered mind thinks it has noticed... that is the parallels I see in my favorite couples in each show... Coni and Beto and Lucrezia and Tony.
Coni pursued Mao even though we all knew that her chemistry was with Beto.
Lu is chasing Pedro but there's electricity between her and Tony.
you may see where this is going...
Beto thought he deserved Monita but...
Tony wants Camila however...
And of course Monita/Mao and Camila/Pedro... destined by the writers to end up together... and need I point out that all four of these were no doubt alumni of the short bus?
Monita and Beto... reared as brother and sister
Lu and Tony... brother and sister (allegedly)
Monita/Beto, Lu/Tony... far more interesting and entertaining.
Maybe I should just take some Tylenol.
Carlos
Zounds, Cap'n, by my troth I would vouchsafe that you are a scribe nonpareil! (to wit, a frickin' genius!)
Oh would that I had penned these lines --
The lady "so fetchingly clad in scarves and vapours..."
"(a loose translation, I admit)"
"he is nought but a roguish ratbane"
"The maidens have acrobatic talent and walk on spiked shoes."
"... a churlish, clay-brained clackdish"
"Oho! New characters, a dark-eyed wench and an aging and withered Ganymede."
"Armando, practically at the pap (though she calls him man) ... is troubled by his pea-sized conscience"
Thy narrative talent -- verily, thy sly and cunning wit -- is a marvel and a joy to behold!
Oh would that I had penned these lines --
The lady "so fetchingly clad in scarves and vapours..."
"(a loose translation, I admit)"
"he is nought but a roguish ratbane"
"The maidens have acrobatic talent and walk on spiked shoes."
"... a churlish, clay-brained clackdish"
"Oho! New characters, a dark-eyed wench and an aging and withered Ganymede."
"Armando, practically at the pap (though she calls him man) ... is troubled by his pea-sized conscience"
Thy narrative talent -- verily, thy sly and cunning wit -- is a marvel and a joy to behold!
Mistress Audrey, not a scholar, merely a fan of the Shakespeare Insult Kit
I've always said all you need is the right tool for the job.
Carlos, "talented tartlet"? Sir your compliment makes me blush!
Bill C, that scene between Antonio and LooKrazy, as retch-inducing as it was, was quite possibly the best bit of acting we've seen so far. In truth, as much as I wanted to hide my eyes, I was mesmerized.
Carlos, your comparison to Gancho is very interesting and undeniably apt. I hadn't thought of our current plot exactly in that way but the chemistry between Tony and Loo is palpable, and Cami and Piedro are most definitely "alumni of the short bus". Hmmm...gonna have to think about this some more.
Sara and Novela Maven, so glad you enjoyed some of my favorite lines and this silly and fun exercise. Hopefully the bard will forgive a bit of skullduggery and plagiarism on my part, but I often think these novelas are very Shakespearean. El Tal, with it's crazed plot and cast of lunatics, seems especially so, if only it had better dialogue and flow.
Urban A, Yowza, I had forgotten you enjoy the SCA. Had I remembered I might have been too self-conscious to invite our guest recapper. Your words are high praise indeed, and much appreciated.
I've always said all you need is the right tool for the job.
Carlos, "talented tartlet"? Sir your compliment makes me blush!
Bill C, that scene between Antonio and LooKrazy, as retch-inducing as it was, was quite possibly the best bit of acting we've seen so far. In truth, as much as I wanted to hide my eyes, I was mesmerized.
Carlos, your comparison to Gancho is very interesting and undeniably apt. I hadn't thought of our current plot exactly in that way but the chemistry between Tony and Loo is palpable, and Cami and Piedro are most definitely "alumni of the short bus". Hmmm...gonna have to think about this some more.
Sara and Novela Maven, so glad you enjoyed some of my favorite lines and this silly and fun exercise. Hopefully the bard will forgive a bit of skullduggery and plagiarism on my part, but I often think these novelas are very Shakespearean. El Tal, with it's crazed plot and cast of lunatics, seems especially so, if only it had better dialogue and flow.
Urban A, Yowza, I had forgotten you enjoy the SCA. Had I remembered I might have been too self-conscious to invite our guest recapper. Your words are high praise indeed, and much appreciated.
O O O O that Shakespeherian Rag-
It's so elegant
So intelligent
-George Eliot
O O O O M G, Sylvia! I started reading this, but have decided to hold off until the work man leaves my house and I get my car into the shop and return home. That way I can SAVOR this work of art!
I would love to be called a "talented tartlet". What a compliment you give our fair Cap'n, Carlos.
I have not watched this ep yet, actually just finished the night before's, and if you think Elvira has a confused look on her face, you should see R la O.
Who the hell is Panchito? I thought Panchito was the Jacob (Twilight) lookalike. Have we seen the nose picking one before?
How will dividing and conquering the sisters help Elvira get back at Pig? How does Pig being poisoned help Elvira monetarily? Is she an unemployed pharmacist? Why, oh why, did Antonio need her to taint the pills?
If these questions were answered in last night's episode, that I'll watch this afternoon, please disregard.
Otherwise, digame.... am I thinking too hard, or not enough?
Rosemary la Confused
It's so elegant
So intelligent
-George Eliot
O O O O M G, Sylvia! I started reading this, but have decided to hold off until the work man leaves my house and I get my car into the shop and return home. That way I can SAVOR this work of art!
I would love to be called a "talented tartlet". What a compliment you give our fair Cap'n, Carlos.
I have not watched this ep yet, actually just finished the night before's, and if you think Elvira has a confused look on her face, you should see R la O.
Who the hell is Panchito? I thought Panchito was the Jacob (Twilight) lookalike. Have we seen the nose picking one before?
How will dividing and conquering the sisters help Elvira get back at Pig? How does Pig being poisoned help Elvira monetarily? Is she an unemployed pharmacist? Why, oh why, did Antonio need her to taint the pills?
If these questions were answered in last night's episode, that I'll watch this afternoon, please disregard.
Otherwise, digame.... am I thinking too hard, or not enough?
Rosemary la Confused
Dear Will, You are welcome at this trough of slop anytime. With with and wisdom you have entertained us in this dawn of a new day.
Anon, I hear the coffee* pot bubbling and must depart afor the real mistress of this mansion catches me LOL.
*coffee--a strange and bitter brew brought to us by those Aa-rabs (near sunny Spain), made more palatable by the infusion of sweeteners and mare's milk.
Anon, I hear the coffee* pot bubbling and must depart afor the real mistress of this mansion catches me LOL.
*coffee--a strange and bitter brew brought to us by those Aa-rabs (near sunny Spain), made more palatable by the infusion of sweeteners and mare's milk.
RLO--Panchito is the Bastardo son of Don Gagg, whose paternity has up to now gone unrecognized officially. He showed up recently. He's the Narizpicador. If he were any shorter, Will could put a jingle bell hat on him and call him the Fool.
Anita
Anita
R la O, alas your questions are NOT answered in last night's episode. In fact this one, "Why, oh why, did Antonio need her to taint the pills?", becomes even more confusing after last night's episode. More and more I think the cue-card-actor-wings-it theory makes the most sense.
Anita, "trough of slop", LOL!! Fun how everyone is getting into the play-acting.
What? The double word verification is back? hourate and shipagerm, sounds almost Shakespearian.
Just read Anita's comment "Will could put a jingle bell hat on him and call him the Fool". Darn! Wish I, er I mean Will, would have thought of that!
Anita, "trough of slop", LOL!! Fun how everyone is getting into the play-acting.
What? The double word verification is back? hourate and shipagerm, sounds almost Shakespearian.
Just read Anita's comment "Will could put a jingle bell hat on him and call him the Fool". Darn! Wish I, er I mean Will, would have thought of that!
Sara, I like quitamoco! OMG, I've been trying to recall who Panchito reminds me of, it's been driving me crazy. Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. Anyone remember that?
Omigosh! You are so right!!!!
BTW- I am having too much fun with the insults site. Thanks for sharing that.
BTW- I am having too much fun with the insults site. Thanks for sharing that.
Wow Sylvia...all these years of recapping and you can still come up with a completely new twist on recounting the sorry tale of el Talismán.
Husband was out so I could switch to Univision during breaks from the basketball game and I have to say I was beyond shocked....I find this telenoveela absolutely sickening...in its violence, its overdone clumsy acting and in its fatuousness (Pedro and Camila are as gag-worthy as El Turd or whatever you all are currently calling him).
So all the more reason to applaud these consistently sparkling, witty recaps your team is turning out. Rapunzel has nothing on you guys.
Muchas gracias to all, and especially to our guest bard and talented tartlet Sylvia.
Husband was out so I could switch to Univision during breaks from the basketball game and I have to say I was beyond shocked....I find this telenoveela absolutely sickening...in its violence, its overdone clumsy acting and in its fatuousness (Pedro and Camila are as gag-worthy as El Turd or whatever you all are currently calling him).
So all the more reason to applaud these consistently sparkling, witty recaps your team is turning out. Rapunzel has nothing on you guys.
Muchas gracias to all, and especially to our guest bard and talented tartlet Sylvia.
What a piece of work is this recap! How noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable!
Well, this certainly took a turn for the creepy. So Antonio is not just a disgruntled meanie, he has serious rage issues? But doesn't like being violent? I do find this very compelling to watch. At least he doesn't bore me like Camila does. Lucrazy is a sicko.
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable!
Well, this certainly took a turn for the creepy. So Antonio is not just a disgruntled meanie, he has serious rage issues? But doesn't like being violent? I do find this very compelling to watch. At least he doesn't bore me like Camila does. Lucrazy is a sicko.
Wow oh wow, I can't seem to read past the first paragraph to read about fools and the like. Your first paragraph just hit it out of the park, thank you very much for making this lousy friday with rain appear cheery.
Since you've cheered me up it will be a while before I read this horror story. I only saw 3 minutes of it, to yet again see another woman being beaten. I have already sent Univision a strong objection to this TN.
Since you've cheered me up it will be a while before I read this horror story. I only saw 3 minutes of it, to yet again see another woman being beaten. I have already sent Univision a strong objection to this TN.
Permalink posted by : Friday, February 24, 2012 at 1:02:00 PM EST
: Friday, February 24, 2012 at 1:02:00 PM EST
Sylvia!! loved it!
favorite line:
the heretofore milk-livered Camila, without further ado, begs his forgiveness and embraces him in a manner most unmaidenly!
Booger!! there it is! perfect for Panchito! poor Rodrigo Vidal if he hears he is being compared to Booger... but his character definitely came to life last night with his 'you will see some day'.
favorite line:
the heretofore milk-livered Camila, without further ado, begs his forgiveness and embraces him in a manner most unmaidenly!
Booger!! there it is! perfect for Panchito! poor Rodrigo Vidal if he hears he is being compared to Booger... but his character definitely came to life last night with his 'you will see some day'.
such violence... just when i was beginning to enjoy the character of Antonio...
Dad with a blood pressure/heart issue
daughter with a completely psychotic behavior issue
and son with a temper violent bipolar behavior issue...
daughter in law with a 'three faces of eve' issue
granddaughters in love with one man...
what a family!
Dad with a blood pressure/heart issue
daughter with a completely psychotic behavior issue
and son with a temper violent bipolar behavior issue...
daughter in law with a 'three faces of eve' issue
granddaughters in love with one man...
what a family!
O Welcome Guest:
I dost not hold the superlatives to commend thy guest-stint as a recapper here at Caray Caray. Thou art wonderous fine. If imitation be the sincerest form of flattery,I predict that thou shalt spawn 1000 future imitations of this master work.
Truly, thou hast outdone thyself.
Know, O wondrous guest, how fine I found these verses:
-Aha! The lovely lady calls this paunchy, pox-marked pignut “Papa”, a tragedy for her.
"Thou art neither like thy sire nor dam,
-The larger of the two, a veritable amazon if you will, Camila by name, frets excessively, and loves the gentleman.
-Aha, she is mother to the varlot Armando, and tells him she should never have made a devil’s bargain with a villain named Antonio Negrete.
-Oho! New characters, a dark-eyed wench and an aging and withered Ganymede.
-He beats her senseless and friends, methinks this was all part of her plan.
But Hark! Know, fine guest, that thou sittest at the feet of a master recapper, this Capitan of the El Talisman—it is she who showed us all our skills. Learn from her well!
And of the story of El Talisman? Thou summed it up best when thou saidst, "[This] is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,Signifying nothing."
Macbeth
Act five, scene five
I remain thy humble servant,
Elna June
I dost not hold the superlatives to commend thy guest-stint as a recapper here at Caray Caray. Thou art wonderous fine. If imitation be the sincerest form of flattery,I predict that thou shalt spawn 1000 future imitations of this master work.
Truly, thou hast outdone thyself.
Know, O wondrous guest, how fine I found these verses:
-Aha! The lovely lady calls this paunchy, pox-marked pignut “Papa”, a tragedy for her.
"Thou art neither like thy sire nor dam,
-The larger of the two, a veritable amazon if you will, Camila by name, frets excessively, and loves the gentleman.
-Aha, she is mother to the varlot Armando, and tells him she should never have made a devil’s bargain with a villain named Antonio Negrete.
-Oho! New characters, a dark-eyed wench and an aging and withered Ganymede.
-He beats her senseless and friends, methinks this was all part of her plan.
But Hark! Know, fine guest, that thou sittest at the feet of a master recapper, this Capitan of the El Talisman—it is she who showed us all our skills. Learn from her well!
And of the story of El Talisman? Thou summed it up best when thou saidst, "[This] is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,Signifying nothing."
Macbeth
Act five, scene five
I remain thy humble servant,
Elna June
Sylvia - Maybe I shouldn't have promised to treat myself to your re-cap once I had the house to myself. My daughter just ran in for a couple of hours so we could catch up on Idol. My DH (do you guys mean Dear Husband? Damn Husband?) is off from work today and its completely throwing off my Caray time! So........ what I am trying to say is that it is harder for me to wait to read your re-cap than it is to wait to open my birthday present.
I get that Panchito is Pig's son, but what I guess threw me is that I really thought he was one of the cute ranch hands. I thought one was Margarito's (was that his name) son. Oh well.... let it go, R la O, let it go.
And I will let it go after this pop quiz: What are the names of the two cute ranch hands? Which one likes F2? And the other is the son of Margarito?
I LOVE your reference to Nerds! We are such a Nerd inspired family. There isn't a Sunday I toss a salad that one of my kids doesn't say "Salad" like Takashi when they are putting Heat on the jockstraps. In fact we had to buy the DVD set for my daughter's bf for Christmas so he could get all of our nerd references.
It may be a few hours, but your re-cap is the reward I get for getting through today with the DH and all his workmen here.
R la O
I get that Panchito is Pig's son, but what I guess threw me is that I really thought he was one of the cute ranch hands. I thought one was Margarito's (was that his name) son. Oh well.... let it go, R la O, let it go.
And I will let it go after this pop quiz: What are the names of the two cute ranch hands? Which one likes F2? And the other is the son of Margarito?
I LOVE your reference to Nerds! We are such a Nerd inspired family. There isn't a Sunday I toss a salad that one of my kids doesn't say "Salad" like Takashi when they are putting Heat on the jockstraps. In fact we had to buy the DVD set for my daughter's bf for Christmas so he could get all of our nerd references.
It may be a few hours, but your re-cap is the reward I get for getting through today with the DH and all his workmen here.
R la O
Mistress Elna June, you are too kind. In point of fact, I did wish to conclude my interpretation with that quote or one like it. Alas, my addled brain was so weary and so fraught with fatigue that the idea fairly flew out of my head. All I desired was blissful slumber and respite from that most heinous tale. I thank thee for filling in where I failed to do so.
Marta Ivett, indeed you have succinctly outlined the very problems of that despicable family, Los Negrete of El Alcatraz. I shudder to think of the two young maidens trapped within its walls, raised by the bitch-hound Doris and her horn-beast of a husband Antonio.
Nellie, you can rest assured that Mistress Sharkbait was beside herself with anger while viewing yet another wench-beating. (Though I notice she did not look away once.) The scoundrels at Univision have truly gone too far.
Julia, I am touched that you quote my little verse. Thank you.
JudyB, fatuous, one of my favorite words, and an apt definition on all levels. Truly the writers of this drivel are idiots at best, criminals at worst.
Rosemary, Margarito? Yet another character in this crowded hodgepodge? My head is spinning.
Pardon the absence of Mistress Sharkbait this afternoon. She is resolving her finances and is in a mood most foul. I do believe steam is coming out of her ears as we speak.
-Will
Marta Ivett, indeed you have succinctly outlined the very problems of that despicable family, Los Negrete of El Alcatraz. I shudder to think of the two young maidens trapped within its walls, raised by the bitch-hound Doris and her horn-beast of a husband Antonio.
Nellie, you can rest assured that Mistress Sharkbait was beside herself with anger while viewing yet another wench-beating. (Though I notice she did not look away once.) The scoundrels at Univision have truly gone too far.
Julia, I am touched that you quote my little verse. Thank you.
JudyB, fatuous, one of my favorite words, and an apt definition on all levels. Truly the writers of this drivel are idiots at best, criminals at worst.
Rosemary, Margarito? Yet another character in this crowded hodgepodge? My head is spinning.
Pardon the absence of Mistress Sharkbait this afternoon. She is resolving her finances and is in a mood most foul. I do believe steam is coming out of her ears as we speak.
-Will
As far as I know, Claudio is Margarito's son who is in love with Florencia. Margarito is the guy who crossed the border with Pedro and worked with him, then wisely turned into an alcoholic (off-screen) and disappeared. Gabriel is the other worker at ElTal who looks like Jacob from Twilight, and he is Claudio's friend and the boyfriend of the other girl who hangs around with them. Panchito is the picaschnozz lurking in the underworld of Alcatrash. Not that there is an overworld in Alcatrash. Just Antonio, constantly getting Alcatrashed and stinking up the office.
Last night I was all set to award Lucrezia with redemption when she selflessly placed herself between Pedro and the shotgun. I guess it would have been a little premature since a few minutes later she was talking about arranging Camila's demise.
Carlos
Carlos
R la C
You are only confused because you are thinking and trying to understand the Spanish language dialogue.
If you mute the sound, turn off the picture, and hide the cc's it really is a pretty good telenovlea. You just make it up as you go along.
As to the answers to these considered questions:
"1. How will dividing and conquering the sisters help Elvira get back at Pig?"
I don't know. furthermore, as Julia answered yesterday, why do we assume that the F sisters are stupid enough to be divided by the varlot Armani. O wait, we have seen their parents. That is why we assume they are stupid.
2. "How does Pig being poisoned help Elvira monetarily?"
I do not know.
3."Is she an unemployed pharmacist?"
If she is the I say, GET A JOB ELVIRA!
4."Why, oh why, did Antonio need her to taint the pills?"
So he could have someone to frame for the crime of poisoning his father, one presumes. In this case, I guess the term "frame" is incorrect since she is indeed an accomplice in poisoning Gregorio.
In this endeavor we can only wish her success, I think.
EJ
You are only confused because you are thinking and trying to understand the Spanish language dialogue.
If you mute the sound, turn off the picture, and hide the cc's it really is a pretty good telenovlea. You just make it up as you go along.
As to the answers to these considered questions:
"1. How will dividing and conquering the sisters help Elvira get back at Pig?"
I don't know. furthermore, as Julia answered yesterday, why do we assume that the F sisters are stupid enough to be divided by the varlot Armani. O wait, we have seen their parents. That is why we assume they are stupid.
2. "How does Pig being poisoned help Elvira monetarily?"
I do not know.
3."Is she an unemployed pharmacist?"
If she is the I say, GET A JOB ELVIRA!
4."Why, oh why, did Antonio need her to taint the pills?"
So he could have someone to frame for the crime of poisoning his father, one presumes. In this case, I guess the term "frame" is incorrect since she is indeed an accomplice in poisoning Gregorio.
In this endeavor we can only wish her success, I think.
EJ
Forsooth, a thrill from your quill, Cap'n Will. Always the alchemist, thou hast taken this steaming pone of - ahem, shall we just call it 'avocado plaga' and rendered from it a fine golden codpiece all set about with raisins and rooster-butt feathers.(Good job, matey!)
Carlos, I don't think Lookyloo's putting herself between Pablum and the gun was selfless so much as that she's into S&M. How thrilled would she have been if he had actually shot her?
Julia is right... additional:
Sarita is Gabriel's girlfriend.
Florencia (the one Claudio likes, the blonde) thinks Armando is named Carlos and he lives in Chicago, moving soon to town.
Fabiola is the one who was with Armando in the ice cream shoppe and she is the brunnette. She knows Armando came from Davis.
Sarita is Gabriel's girlfriend.
Florencia (the one Claudio likes, the blonde) thinks Armando is named Carlos and he lives in Chicago, moving soon to town.
Fabiola is the one who was with Armando in the ice cream shoppe and she is the brunnette. She knows Armando came from Davis.
Forsooth! I am wont to swoon from cleverness, and now I have fairly quit my senses! I die, I die!
Permalink posted by : Friday, February 24, 2012 at 5:09:00 PM EST
: Friday, February 24, 2012 at 5:09:00 PM EST
You guys are a scream. Thanks for playing along and allowing me my little diversion. (Not that you could stop me!) Anyhoo, we do what we can to try to make this mish-mash of a story into something we can stomach. And even then, barely.
Who knew we were such a bunch of drama queens and kings? And Lookee, we even got a kind of rhyming Haiku from Emilia! Not to mentioned her inspired creation of, ahem, golden codpiece.
Carlos, Will was also impressed with Lucrecia at first. She seemed so brave, didn't she? But she showed her true rooster butt feathers soon enough.
Ladies, thank you for the clarification on the wayward group of immigrants who seem so much smarter than the landowners who employ them. I agree Margarito turned into a drunkard in the nick of time. Maybe that's why Piedro is so surly and lethargic, he's jealous that Margarito escaped back to Mexico while Piedro is stuck in Fresno.
I hope we get to enjoy the great ball tonight. I can't wait to see Gregorio in his El Pinguino costume, and Elvira in that ghastly puff of hot pink that I fear is her dress. Will she wear a pink headband or a contrasting color?
As long as we are bringing the writers up on charges should we include the wardrobe staff?
Who knew we were such a bunch of drama queens and kings? And Lookee, we even got a kind of rhyming Haiku from Emilia! Not to mentioned her inspired creation of, ahem, golden codpiece.
Carlos, Will was also impressed with Lucrecia at first. She seemed so brave, didn't she? But she showed her true rooster butt feathers soon enough.
Ladies, thank you for the clarification on the wayward group of immigrants who seem so much smarter than the landowners who employ them. I agree Margarito turned into a drunkard in the nick of time. Maybe that's why Piedro is so surly and lethargic, he's jealous that Margarito escaped back to Mexico while Piedro is stuck in Fresno.
I hope we get to enjoy the great ball tonight. I can't wait to see Gregorio in his El Pinguino costume, and Elvira in that ghastly puff of hot pink that I fear is her dress. Will she wear a pink headband or a contrasting color?
As long as we are bringing the writers up on charges should we include the wardrobe staff?
"As long as we are bringing the writers up on charges should we include the wardrobe staff?"
---
Gawd yes! And hair/makeup staff.
---
Gawd yes! And hair/makeup staff.
Well, that was worth the wait! I am so glad I was able to sit by myself and absorb all that is Sylvia Sharkbait Shakespeare. FANTASTIC! Where can we get this framed and put on exhibit? Is there a TN blog museum equivalent to the Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame? I am totally in awe.
My bff invited mi esposo y yo to dinner at her house tonight. How rude would it be to pull out my Smart Phone and read them some of this? Is there an etiquette rule that says you shouldn't read your blog material at a dinner party? I don't care if there is. This must be shared!
So many great lines and me, with my jr. high bathroom-talk humor, loved Valentin's bowels worked into a twist. lol
Thanks, Amigos, for helping clarify Who's Who. I am having a hard time keeping them straight. Good advise, EJ, about turning off the sound, cc's and picture, and enjoying what's left.
For those of us who like Twilight, don't you think Gabriel, with his Jacob look and Fabiola, with her pointy vampire teeth, would be a good inter (racial? / species? / clan?) couple?
Emilia - your comment was poetic, the whole paragraph. Loved it.
Am I hearing this right... Doris WANTS to be Mrs. Pig?
Sylvia and Will - Once every decade does a conversation come up using the word "codpiece". The last time was Bush's Mission Accomplished day in that outfit. And now.... what a visual. Like EJ says who needs sound, picture, cc's when you have the word "codpiece".
R la O
My bff invited mi esposo y yo to dinner at her house tonight. How rude would it be to pull out my Smart Phone and read them some of this? Is there an etiquette rule that says you shouldn't read your blog material at a dinner party? I don't care if there is. This must be shared!
So many great lines and me, with my jr. high bathroom-talk humor, loved Valentin's bowels worked into a twist. lol
Thanks, Amigos, for helping clarify Who's Who. I am having a hard time keeping them straight. Good advise, EJ, about turning off the sound, cc's and picture, and enjoying what's left.
For those of us who like Twilight, don't you think Gabriel, with his Jacob look and Fabiola, with her pointy vampire teeth, would be a good inter (racial? / species? / clan?) couple?
Emilia - your comment was poetic, the whole paragraph. Loved it.
Am I hearing this right... Doris WANTS to be Mrs. Pig?
Sylvia and Will - Once every decade does a conversation come up using the word "codpiece". The last time was Bush's Mission Accomplished day in that outfit. And now.... what a visual. Like EJ says who needs sound, picture, cc's when you have the word "codpiece".
R la O
"As long as we are bringing the writers up on charges should we include the wardrobe staff?"
Lord no!
At least those who are dressing Lucrezia and Sara... they are doing just fine, thank you very much.
Carlos
Lord no!
At least those who are dressing Lucrezia and Sara... they are doing just fine, thank you very much.
Carlos
Julia - "How thrilled would she (Luc) have been if he had actually shot her?" lol So so true. And then egging on her hermano to keep hitting her. I know it's all part of her plan to have Pedro feel sorry/responsible for her, but she was not minding it at all. Not a good message.
For one day at least we know that Dumb and Dumber are together and we have the gala coming up. Tonight may be the best night yet for El Tal!
a Rose by un Otro nomber
For one day at least we know that Dumb and Dumber are together and we have the gala coming up. Tonight may be the best night yet for El Tal!
a Rose by un Otro nomber
I was thinking of poor El Viral when I voted the wardrobe staff get sacked. I admit to being fascinated by Loo's ramerawear.
Carlos, so sorry, I was actually thinking about Elvira's and Camila's outfits, although Camila is getting better. I, too, must admit that LooKrazy's garb is mesmerizing. I keep waiting for some sort of wardrobe malfunction, yet the flimsy doo-dahs stay put as if epoxied.
I actually love the idea of watching and turning off the sound. I used to have a girlfriend who would do that and her editorial comments were always a scream. This idea is very much like Urban A's suggestion that we treat it like MST3K. Why not? Blogger seems to think we are a bunch of robots anyway.
R la O, it might be rude to gift your guests with our little addiction, er study group, however a think the occasional Shakespearean insult would definitely be in order. I for one intend to throw a few around this weekend to see what kind of reaction I can get.
If Doris wants to be Mrs. Pig then she is as loony as Ophelia. Oh wait, that's what Will was implying last night I guess.
I actually love the idea of watching and turning off the sound. I used to have a girlfriend who would do that and her editorial comments were always a scream. This idea is very much like Urban A's suggestion that we treat it like MST3K. Why not? Blogger seems to think we are a bunch of robots anyway.
R la O, it might be rude to gift your guests with our little addiction, er study group, however a think the occasional Shakespearean insult would definitely be in order. I for one intend to throw a few around this weekend to see what kind of reaction I can get.
If Doris wants to be Mrs. Pig then she is as loony as Ophelia. Oh wait, that's what Will was implying last night I guess.
Wait a minute I just saw the preview for tonight so Luc plans to move in to Talisman. Wasnt that the same plotline as on Eva Luna?
Permalink posted by : Friday, February 24, 2012 at 8:07:00 PM EST
: Friday, February 24, 2012 at 8:07:00 PM EST
I never saw Eva Luna, but I hear tell that there are a lot of copycat maneuvers. Are they the same writers?
I am beginning to fear, with the priest blessing the cars and the warning the girls and Claudio to drive safe and not to text and drive, that Claudio and Florencia will have an accident and Pigorio will be all over Claudio and Pedro about it if Florencia gets hurt.
what?? Previews for monday show a Camila that can stand up for herself and call on Lookrazia's scheme?
It was bound to happen: GATONOVELA -- A SOAP OPERA STARRING CATS...
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/02/23/funny-pictures-videos-gatonovela-soap-opera-cats/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/02/23/funny-pictures-videos-gatonovela-soap-opera-cats/
Permalink posted by : Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 7:54:00 AM EST
: Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 7:54:00 AM EST
How cute! Blue Lass, you're right, it was bound to happen sooner or later. If Will Ferrell can do it then so can kitties. Thanks for sharing.
Marta, we got our padre!! I don't know the actor, does anyone? I guess if we don't know him he won't be a regular. I got home late last night and was watching a bit of El Tal and my honey walked through the room when the padre was blessing the cars and he said "So I guess the chicks are gonna crash or something, right?" I told him according to some sources, yes.
Marta, we got our padre!! I don't know the actor, does anyone? I guess if we don't know him he won't be a regular. I got home late last night and was watching a bit of El Tal and my honey walked through the room when the padre was blessing the cars and he said "So I guess the chicks are gonna crash or something, right?" I told him according to some sources, yes.
"This has got to be the sappiest, most mindless piece of crap that Televisa ever came up with!
El Talisman is not Televisa production it is a venevision production.
El Talisman is not Televisa production it is a venevision production.
Permalink posted by : Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 2:55:00 AM EDT
: Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 2:55:00 AM EDT
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