Caray, Caray!

Today on El Talsiman:

Cameela has come to El Alcatrash to tell the Beltbuckle she isn't marrying him, punto. Beltbuckle continues with the threat of sending her Gasbag, er her Mama to the carcel. She tells the Beltbuckle to go ahead and call the popos she will just have to make a call on her own and tell them about his blackmail and threats, so there take that, ya Beltbuckle! She leaves the Beltbuckle fuming, and runs into Doris. So are ya marrying the Beltbuckle or not, she asks Cameela. Cameela tells her hey sister, ain't doin' it no how, no way. She tells Doris I am marrying Mi Pedro. She tells Doris don't worry you will still be the duenna of this casa. Cameela leaves.

Pedro is thought bubbling about his wedding to Cameela and their song plays, "Dios Mio Que Mujer".

Gabe and Sarita are talking about the same old, same old. I want to marry but can't, not prepared for it, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Sarita is getting madder by the minute, and Gabe is all talked out. Sarita is yelling at Gabe and interrupts Pedro's daydreaming. He goes in to see what the fuss is about. Sarita is saying the same old thing. She tells Pedro, Gabe won't talk to her, and Pedro tells her Gabe is very confused right now. (Note to Gabe: just tell her the same thing you've been telling her, maybe she will open her ears long enough to hear, jus' sayin'). Gabe took my advice, but it didn't work yet again. He threatens to get a job elsewhere. Sarita is so not down with that. Pedro tells her to stop pressuring Gabe. Gabe tells Sarita he truly loves her, but he isn't ready for marriage. Gabe leaves. Pedro tells Sarita, he's not marrying Cameela either. He doesn't understand, and told Mariana about it. Sarita and Pedro commiserate with each other.

Tonio is looking for Valentin. Valentin finally comes in and the Beltbuckle sends him on a misson. I didn't quite get what it was, so someone please fill in.

Tracy and Alberta are talking about Fabi leaving today. They are having a little chisme when Alberta lets slip that Cameela ain't marrying the Beltbuckle. Tracy is like, ya don't say. I have to talk to her.

Margarito and the Padre are talking about Cameela's about face, and not marrying Pedro.

Army has managed to scale the walls, so to speak, of Alcatrash again. He has come to tell Fabi adios. He tells her this is only temporary. He is finding a job, and once he has enough dinero, he will come to Canada to be with her. They swear undying love for each other, and promise each other they will be together soon.

Maria and the Gasbag, er, El Viral have come home. Maria wanted to bring El Viral back to the apartmento to get the full story why she is soooo upset. Maria tells her to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (Note to Maria: When has that ever happened?).El Viral says it is a disaster. Maria tells her to be calm (yeah like that is ever gonna happen) and asks if this is about the kids? El Viral tells her it is about Pigorio. She tells Maria she helped Tonio try to kill Pigorio and now she is in the heap of pig droppings. Maria is shocked, I tell you shocked, to hear this. She tells Maria that unless Cameela marries Tonio she is going to the carcel! (Note to Maria: Please lock her up in the manicomio now. Don't wait, she is the Titanic crashing into the iceberg right now. There is no redemption for her.). She tells Maria that, wait for it, THE BELTBUCKLE MADE ME DO IT!!!! (Note to the Gasbag: Is this the same thing as the Devil made me do it? Cause ya know that excuse never works, jus' sayin'). Just about this time, Cameela has come back from that meeting with the Beltbuckle, and tells her Gasbag of a mama, guess what, not marrying that asshat. Cameela tells the Gasbag she will find her a lawyer tomorrow, and take it from there. (Note to Cameela: You got some guts girl, cause that gas is building, jus' sayin', and the headband is getting tighter by the millisecond). Maria tells her Gasbag of a sister to, wait for it, WOMAN up and accept responsiblity for your OWN actions!!!! (Note to Maria: You go!!! But I don't think that is working for her). The Gasbag tries to turn this on Cameela and tells her, I am going to the carcel and it's YOUR fault. Maria and Cameela are looking at her like she should have been in the Manicomio a long time ago. And on top of all her other sins, tells Cameela, well ya know, I already told Pedro you are marrying Tonio. Cameela and Maria are pithed. The Gasbag is thrusting the knife deeper and tells Cameela, that if she marries the Beltbuckle all this goes away, as if. Cameela is so not down with that. Maria says you have no conscience as far as your children go, enough already. Course the Gasbag's brain is full of gas and she storms out of the room. Army comes in and asks Cameela if she is ok? Cameela tells him Tonio threatened to go to the policia about the Gasbag. Maria tells Cameela, well she is an accomplice after all, get her a good lawyer, and above all please, call Pedro, the amor di tu vida, and explain just what the heck is going on. Cameela calls Pedro for a meet. He is confused, but will meet with her. Maria is going to work, and tells Cameela if you need anything call me. Cameela tells the Gasbag that she has called a lawyer that will meet with her in two hours.

Fake Doc/Major Domo examines Pigorio and tells him he is just fine! Well Pigorio, who is lying in the bed, isn't taking this lying down, so to speak. He tells the fake doc, then why am I feeling worse everyday? He tells fake doc he is not beleiving his so-called miraculous recovery. He asks fake doc/major domo if he has talked to Tonio. Of course he has. Pigorio then tells him, I don't like you, I want MIO DOCTOROCITO Valdez, and not you. Fake doc/major domo looks like he has swallowed several avacadoes whole, and tells Pigorio to be calm, don't upset yourself. He leaves. Doris confronts fake doc/major domo and asks how Pigorio is? He tells her he is fine. Doris doesn't beleive fake doc/major domo either. Tonio talks to the fake doc/major domo and isn't liking what he is hearing.

Lulu and the Beltbuckle are in the cabana, and Tonio tells her all about what Cameela said about going to the popos on her own and telling them what she knows of the Beltbuckle. But he tells Lulu that his planes are still at the go stage and Cameela es Mio. He tells Lulu he is siccing the police on El Viral as we speak, and that's why Cameela es Mio. Lulu laments to the Beltbuckle that this is a bad time for her to be dead. (Ya think). He keeps telling Lulu that she will have to remain dead for awhile, but he won't let her down. She'll get Pedro es Mio as soon as things settle down. She tells the Beltbuckle, Pedro is my ultimate goal. He tells her Fabi is leaving. She can't beleive it, she isn't down with that.

Fabi is packing for her trip to Canada and Doris comes in. She tells her Mama Doris that she will be better off in Canada and away from Alcatrash.

Padre, Margarito, and Pedro are together and Pedro tells them Cameela called him. He has no idea why she wants to talk to him.

There is a knock on the door and it is, wait for it, the police looking for, you guessed it, The Gasbag. They have some questions for her. Meanwhile the Gasbag has hotfooted it into the boys' room. (I guess she has no avacadoes. Her hideous pink outfit is so bright with matching headband, the police couldn't miss her, jus' sayin'). The police tell Cameela that this is very serious and they need to talk to her right away. Cameela is rolling her eyes. Meanwhile the Gasbag has run into the boys' room, and wait for it, does a slow *marmot screech* about the popos have come for her. Meanwhile at the door, Cameela tells the police that her Mama is meeting a lawyer, in like, two hours if they want to wait. And in the boys' room, the Gasbag, THAR SHE BLOWS AGAIN, for like the millionth time. She claims, wait for it, SHE WANTS TO DIE, Army and Angel are both there, trying to calm her down. She is hyperventilating and hysterical. They tell her to stop crying and that Cameela will get her a lawyer. Army decides to go join Cameela, which leaves poor Angel to cope with El Viral (Note to Angel: You are truly an Angel to put up with this crap, just fix her a huge mug of sleepytime tea and you'll finally have some peace). Meanwhile Army goes out to see what is going on, gets the scoop and rolls his eyes too. (Did you notice one of the policeman was rolling his eyes too? It was too funny). El Viral is still ranting and raving to Angel that her new home will be the CARCEL (yeah, if only. She needs to go there ASAP). And on top of that she is crying hysterically. Angel looks like he wants to hurl. The police meanwhile are still trying to convince Cameela they need to talk to the Gasbag and here is the paperwork by the way. They leave and Cameela tells Army that the Beltbuckle called the cops on mama. Cameela tells Army well I guess I will have to marry the Beltbuckle after all, to stop this crazy train. Army begs her not too. So without waiting any further, she picks up the phone and , wait for it, calls the Beltbuckle. She tells him I know you sicced the police on my sainted (just kidding) mama and are you ready for it, ya sure???? Ok, on the count of three, She will marry his asshattedness. Oh, saints perserve us, please, Oh Dios Mio, not again.



Tracy, Alberta and Fabi have gathered together to say goodbye. Fabi tells both of them she will miss them, and to please look after Flor. All three are crying and they have a big group hug. After this, Fabi goes to her room and talks to Flor. Flor is crying. She doesn't want Fabi to go, but Fabi tells her it is best and that Tracy and Alberta will always be there for her. Fabi and Flor both agree they don't want to be seperated, but this is how it is now. Flor accompanies Fabi to the foyer, and there is the Beltbuckle. They give him heck about being seperated and all he cares about is Cameela. He tells them he cares about them, but they know it is empty words. (Note to Beltbuckle: you are an asshat of the lowest grade, to give up your daughter for a woman that hates your guts, jus' sayin').

Mariana has come to El Tal and is talking to Margarito. Mariana says she wants to talk to Cameela on Pedro's behalf to find out what is going on with this Beltbuckle business. Margarito asks if she has any memory back yet? Mariana tells Margo that Manuel is trying to help her find her past, but so far she really hasn't remembered anything .

Pigorio is up out of the bed and is dressed, looking more chipper and healthier. Doris compliments him on his looks. They are talking about his pills. I think Pigorio said he has stopped taking them and is going to see his own doctor. ( I just have to say here, Pigorio is smarter than we thought. I think he knows those pills are poisoned). Doris informs Pigorio that Fabi is leaving for Canada, and Pigorio says well the Beltbuckle knows best, he loves his daughters. Doris doesn't agree. She doesn't want Fabi to go. Pigorio tells her Fabi is her daughter too. He said something else to her I didn't get. He leaves.

Padre and Pedro go to see Liliana the social worker about Santiago again. She tells Pedro, sorry not gonna happen, can't adopt him. Padre tells her that he is getting some kind of letter from Santi's mama in Mexico. She is skeptical, but says ok. But Pedro still can't adopt him. She tells Padre he has character.

Now for the best part of the recap. We have Rita and fake doc/major domo talking together. Rita wants to know what he has been up to? He tells Rita he is doing a job for the Beltbuckle. Oh, Rita is swooning, she just lurvvvves the Beltbuckle. Rennie comes in the room and tells Rita that the Beltbuckle is muy peligroso. Fake doc/major domo tells Rennie that the Beltbuckle has taken El Viral in hand. Rennie is like say what? Rita and Rennie want the chisme like yesterday. So fake doc/major domo tells them that, wait for it, El Viral is a killer! Rennie can't beleive it, but Rita is sooo down with that. Fake doc/ major domo tells them that is what Tonio told him. Rennie's wheels in his brains start turning and he says so, just a better grounds for divorce. (Yeah ok Rennie, you go with that, until the anvil comes to bite you too).

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Pedro confronts Cameela and Tonio at Alcatrash!

Labels: Talisman