Caray, Caray!

　

　

You see, mon ami, the voices of the little grey cells have begun to sing to Poirot. M. Hercule Poirot

We start off today, where we left off yesterday, with Pedro visiting the cabanas at Altrash, and guess who he finds?? Anyone, that's right Ms Crazy pacing and thinking, with the little brain she has left, and Pedro says so the dead are not so dead! She starts in with the "it isn't my fault", I love you so much, and finally it was all The Prince of Darkness' fault! Pedro is so pithed, there is smoke coming out of his ears. Pedro tells her you're sick and she keeps blaming The Prince of Darkness. Pedro is so pithed at her he is yelling in a threatening manner and she is cringing. Pedro accuses Ms Carzy and The Prince of Darkness of planning this all along so he would go to jail. She swears she never wanted Pedro in jail, but you know the Prince of Darkness he would do anything. Pedro threatens to go to the police. She is begging and pleading with him not to go to the cops and she stops him. Ms Crazy finally says go ahead tell the popos, but if The Prince of Darkness finds out you know I'm alive he will kill me. Pedro is insisting that Ms Crazy and the Prince of Darkness planned this setup a long time ago. Ms Crazy tells Pedro he doesn't know how evil The Prince of Darkness really is. He says he is still goin to the cops, tomorrow, she is beggin and pleading with him, no, no. She wants to know why is he gonna tell on her, why, why,? He is still yelling at her. The Prince of Darkness will kill me. He is going to El Tal and I think he wants her to come with him. She is crying her eyes out. He suddenly changes tactics (See M. Hercule Poirot's quote above but instead of the gray cells singing to Poirot they are singing to Pedro), and apologizes to Ms Crazy and she comes and puts her head on his shoulder.

The Prince of Darkness and Cami are alone in the living room area of Altrash and he is telling her how much he loves her and that he loves that they are alone. (Note to Cameela: Grab the nearest vase, conk him on the head, and just run far away jus' sayin'). She tells him she can't stand him and doesn't love him. The Prince of Darkness wants her to understand how important it is for her to to know he loves her truly, and it isn't a fantasy to him. (Oh, Beltbuckle please, she hates your guts, look at her face, already). Cameela tells the Prince of Darkness he doesn't love her, and by the way, she can't stand him and would never stoop to love him. Well, the Prince of Darkness tells her I WILL be your husband for the rest of my days. (Hey Prince of Darkness ya testing fate here, or what???). Doris interrupts this little tete a tete and says oh, is this a lover's quarrel? She has a pleased, come hither look on her face as she gazes at him. Cameela looks aside and smiles too. Cameela says she is going to HER room, Doris is like, oh ya mean MY ROOM donch ya? Tonio tells Doris to LARGATE, MI RANCHO. Doris just looks at him and says oh, contraire, Piggorio wants me here. Doris is giving The Prince of Darkness her sexiest come hither look and he looks at her and tells her the only Duena of Altrash is Cameela, although Cameela says she doesn't want to be that. Doris tells Cameela remember that bed is mine. Doris goes, and The Prince of Darkness tells Cameela not to worry about Doris. Cameela says she is glad Doris is here. The Prince of Darkness says he doesn't like Doris bothering her. You are the Only Duena here. Cameela doesn't care.



Hawt Investigator and El Capitan are at the precinct talking about how El Capitan's jaunt went at Altrash. El Capitan tells him the Pig refused to answer any questions and the day after tomorrow he should have that supoena ready.

Piggorio and Valentin are having a little chat in the Pig's office. Valentin is worried the police will come back. Pig assures him he said nothing to El Capitan. Valentin is very nervous, he doesn't want to end up in the carcel. Pig tells him to be a man! Man up and stop worrying. (Note to Val: Just go see El Capitan and spill the frijoles, get a deal, jus' sayin'). Pig continues with the cops ain't got nothin', nothin' on me, well you get the gist. Now Valentin brings up Cameela, What if she talks? Pig says if she ever does, it would be very BAD for her. (Note to Pig: That anvil is comin' jus' sayin'). The Pig tells Valentin to be prepared for questioning by the popos. (Note to Pig: What are ya going to do; hypnotize Val: I will not talk, I will not be a rat, jus' sayin'). He tells him to relax. Valentin says the popops make him nervous, he says if he doesn't get ahold of himself, he will end up in jail. Then all of a sudden the Pig's muscles seize up. He tells Valentin to call the doctor.

Manuel and Maria are over at his place, just having come back from the funeral of Mariana, and he wants JUSTICE for his Mariana. He is sick of waiting for the police, to maybe, coulda, woulda, shoulda do something! Maria is telling him to give the police time to investigate and don't go jumping to doing something estupido (My words not hers). Maria wants him to go talk to El Capitan. She has loved Manuel all these years, and doesn't want anything to happen to him. Manuel wants to marry Maria sooner rather than later. She agrees, she can't wait. Maria leaves. Manuel is talking to himself and says sorry Maria going to the Pig Sty to see the Head Pig.

Padre, Sarita, Gabe, and Santiago are eating in the dining room of El Tal when Padre notices Pedro isn't there. He asks all around the table and noone has a clue where he went. Padre, being Padre, is looking for the guilty face that cannot tell a lie, of course it is , wait for it, Sarita, nah, its Santiago. Padre has been trying to get Pedro on the phone and he isn't answering. Santiago finally explains to Padre that he went to Altrash earlier in the day and told Cameela that Pedro needed her help to see if Lulu was alive over there. Padre is so not happy. Santiago tells him about the note Cameela sent thru Tracey about Lulu being in the cabana over there at Altrash and then Pedro must have gone over there. Padre is still not happy, he is so agitated he can't dial Pedro's cell number, so Santiago does it for him. Padre finally talks to Pedro.

Rennie, Rita, and "Doc" Jaime are having a little meeting in Rennie's apartmento. They will have some good business dealings with the Prince of Darkness, cause the Pig will die soon. (So this is chantaje time, I take it). Just about this time Valentin is calling "Doc" Jaime. Rennie tells the "doc" why don't you answer, it could be important. Nah, I can't be on call 24/7.

About this time, Pig who is leaning on Valentin comes into the living room and the Prince of Darkness asks oh, so sweetly, oh Daddio are you sick, you don't look so well, as he is giving him a smarmy grin. The Pig says so how does it feel to force Cameela to marry your sorry ass, not really, but you get the gist. Oh, Cameela is with me, cause she lurrrvves me foreva. Pig laughs and says, Hey I may be sick, but stuck on stupid I'm not. She hates your friggin' guts. So all of a sudden the Prince of Darkness gets a phone call from, wait for it, that's right the devil, nah, its from the newly minted brain, Pedro! He wants a meet with him. The Prince of Darkness is like no, way, yes way from Pedro. As a matter of fact Pedro, of the newly minted brain, wants to have dinner with the Prince of Darkness and the little Misses so he can introduce them to his new amiga, in fact his new novia. Ms Crazy is standing right by Pedro's elbow and is in 7th heaven. They agree to meet in the Only Restaurant in Fresno. After Pedro hangs up the phone, he tells Ms Crazy of course I am your novio, I just know you are a victim of your Papa Pig and your brother Prince of Darkness, and besides Cameela married your brother the Prince of Darkness.

"Doc" Jaime has left and Rita and Rennie are talking about his divorce from the Virus. Since California is a community property state, (in real life it is), she wants him to go after the Virus' part, LOL. She wants to make sure he divorces her. He tells her of course Mi Amor.

Pig is finally in his bedroom and "Doc" Jaime has come to see about the situation. He keeps telling the Pig this is a normal side effect of these new pills. The Pig tells him he hates being in his bed, he wants out of it, to be normal (yeah, wishful thinking), well "Doc" Jaime finally says if you want a second opinion you can get one. Pig says he should have felt way better by now. "Doc" Jaime is about to leave, when the Pig tells him to wait. He will give these pills a couple more days. And I beleive he asks "Doc" Jaime if he knows about Mariana? The "doc" looks like he wants to hurl. "Doc" leaves and Valentin and the Pig are together. Valentin tells the Pig that he has worked for him for many years and never seen him like this. The Pig tells Valentin he wants Doris, and Valentin tells him she isn't there, she went somewhere with Flor.

Panchito is looking all kinds of bummed out and Tracy comes in the room and wants to know what's wrong. What is he thinking? He says he has a lot to think about. He tells her he is glad she is with him. She is trying to wrangle it out of him, but he ain't talkin'. She keeps trying, and finally he says he knows a secret of his Papa Pig. So, Tracy says oh, you mean that he killed Mariana? Well little Panchito is aghast, befuddled, unhinged, he can't beleive she knows! You know he killed Mariana? Yah, Yah, don't ever breathe a word to anyone, capiche??? Tracy tells him he ought to go to the cops. Little Panchito is so scared of Papa Pig, he won't go cause he just couldn't stick it to the Pig.

Army and the Virus are at Maria's place. The Virus tells him about the deal with Rennie to get his apartmento. Army is flabbergasted, wowwed, blown away by how stupid his mother is, jus' sayin. He doesn't want her to take the deal. And now the most illogical thing of all she tells him, oh Cameela will help me! (Listen Virus, what planet are you from???? I don't think you are from planet Earth at all. I thought Capitan Kirk and Mr Spock destroyed your planet of Estupidos a long time ago). The Virus says she wants her MIA APARTMENTO and she wants Army to live with her. He looks at her like she just grew red horns and tells her no, and I mean no with a capital N. He wants to live with his Tia Maria and Angel. Well now the Virus says oh, that Maria is such a liar, say what???? Army calls her on it and says it is so NOT true, and besides why are you against your own sister. You are illogical Mama (he actually said that) to go with what Rennie is sayin' (Note to Army: You still haven't lost your avacadoes, good for you. Go and tell Pedro how to keep them).

We are now in the Only Restaurant in Fresno. Cameela and the Prince of Beltbuckles are about to enter said Restaurant. The Beltbuckle reminds her he is protecting her baby and she better behave. Then he tells her to take his hand, like she means it. She rolls her eyes and away they go into the dining area. Pedro is sitting in a chair at the table, very non-chalant and with a smirk on his face. He tells The Beltbuckle and Cameela he invited them to dine cause he has a new novia he wanted them to meet, and in walks, wait for it, Ms. Universe, nah, it's Ms Crazy! Cameela stares and there is hate radiating from the eyes of the Beltbuckle. So the Beltbuckle, he of the illogical brain, says Your ALIVE, its a miracle, I tell you a miracle, not really but he did says she was alive. Well, Pedro, he of the now LOGICAL brain, says oh, Lulu told me everything, and I mean everything. You could go to the carcel. Of course, the Beltbuckle says watch you talkin' bout, Pedro??? I know nothink, nothink I tell you. Pedro looks right at Cameela and asks her how she is? She has a sudden thought of the Beltbuckle beating her. She says she is fine. Pedro looks at Lulu and tells her they can be together now. So now starts the game of one upmanship between Beltbuckle and Pedro. Cameela says she is sooo happy with the Beltbuckle, and Lulu says she is so in lurrvvee with Pedro. Cami is looking at the ceiling, looking like she is in a galaxy far, far away. Now she looks down and the Beltbuckle gives her a kiss, right in front of Pedro and calls her Chula. Lulu says in her wildest dreams she never imagined Pedro could love her so! (Oh, please, what planet is she from??? Probably the same as the Virus, Estupida, I guess Kirk and Spock missed her too). The Beltbuckle has draped himself all over Cameela and says he can't wait to have hijos with Cameela. She is looking very uncomfortable. He kisses Cami again and she looks like she wants to hurl. Pedro is smiling.



Doris has gone to Brigette's. (Look on bottom of recap for where Flor went). She needs Brigette's help. She tells Brigette about how weak and sick the Pig has become and frankly she is worried that the Beltbuckle will get everything and she will be left with nothing. She really thinks she ought to marry the Pig. She tells Brigette it is horrible at Altrash right now with the Beltbuckle in charge. She also tells Brigette that the Pig killed Mariana. Brigette wants to know who Mariana is? Doris reminds her that Mariana was Pedro's 1st wife. Brigette is like no way. Her? Then Doris tells her that Cameela hates the Beltbuckle. She tells Brigette she has to find a way to stop the Pig from going to jail, cause then the Beltbuckle will have Altrash. She is determined to marry the Pig, before he gets any worse.

Pedro, Cameela, the Beltbuckle and Ms Crazy are still attending this farce of a dinner. Lulu is going on about how handsome Pedro, with the newly minted brain and avacadoes, is and how good he has been to her. (Say what, all of a couple of hours I say). Pedro and Lulu are drinking champagne, and he's got his arm around her now, Cami is giving them the death ray and of course the Beltbuckle is drinking Mi Whiskey. Pedro is smiling and says oh, look at the four of us, sooo happy, well I got news for you. I am telling the cops that Lulu is alive and you Beltbuckle will be in jail. He looks at Cameela and says how is it going to feel with hubby in jail. Cameela is looking sick and Pedro tells her so sorry you and hubby will be seperated. The Belbuckle is getting huffy and says to Pedro that you have always been against me. Lulu says but we have to tell the cops that I am alive and not dead! The Beltbuckle calls Lulu crazy. (I really thought at this point he was going to say the same old, same old, what you talking about Pedro??? Like she is really dead, and that is a ghost sitting with you, jus' sayin'). At this point the Belbuckle takes Lulu off and that leaves Pedro and Cameela alone at the table.

The Beltbuckle takes Lulu by the restrooms and starts giving her hell. He tells her it will be HER fault if he goes to jail. He also tells her you are my accomplice and if I go to jail, so do you honey. She explains that she told noone she was alive, that Pedro actually just showed up out of the blue, doncha know. Lulu tells her Beltbuckle bro that she warned Pedro that Beltbuckle would kill her if he knew Lulu was alive and she also tells him that Pedro told her he never tried to kill her in that barn, he tried to save her. She tells the Beltbuckle that now Pedro is her novio and she is very , so very happy.

Meanwhile back at the table, Pedro is looking at Cameela with such longing in his eyes, and asks her if she is ok. She says she is. He wants to know if she was forced to marry the Beltbuckle. She tells him she really can't talk about it. She wants Pedro to leave her in peace. He is begging her with longing eyes to tell him, just tell him already. Pedro also tells her, he can't stand Ms Crazy but is only doing this to help himself out. Cameela still won't talk. She says she is sooo happy with the Beltbuckle. Pedro says he knows she is not. Pedro's cell phone rings and it is the Padre. Padre wants to make sure he isn't at Altrash. Pedro says he isn't over there. He tells Padre to calm down he isn't at Altrash but with Cameela somewhere else. He tells him not to worry. Pedro hangs up and looks at Cameela. In the best scene of today's epi, Pedro tells Cameela he can't help her if she refuses to tell him anything, so he reaches for Cameela and kisses her right there in that restaurant in front of Dios and everybody!!!!!! See M. Hercule Poirot's quote above.

Incidental:

Flor and Angel are talking somewhere and Angel says you are my friend and I want to go somewhere with you. I think he wants her to be his novia, but she isn't ready for that. She also can't go anywhere cause she is waiting for her Mama Doris. He says fine, we'll be friends and we'll go somewhere another day. They smile at each other.

Advances:

The Pig is rolling on the floor and is unable to walk, and he accuses the Beltbuckle of trying to kill him.

Valentin brings the Pig a wheelchair and as soon as the Pig sees it, he proceeds to scream like a girl!

Labels: Talisman