Wednesday, June 13, 2012

El Talismán #96 Wed 6/13/12 The Pig Is Roasted, Toasted and Crisp But LuLu Has Found The Way

 

Well My Friend.....As one approaches the end, one begins to see life as it truly is. M. Hercule Poirot

I've rewritten a little ditty for you to sing while reading this recap. It is sung to the tune of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita. (Kind of imitating EJ over there at Abismo).

Don't cry for me El Talisman

The truth is Caray Caray never really left you

All through the mad days

We were not left unfazed

We kept our promise

To recap this *hot mess*.

Now on to the recap.

Pedro, Lucrazy, the Beltbuckle and Cameela are in the living room talking about Cameela's baby. The Beltbuckle is insisting he is happy about the baby, and Cameela says she wants a girl, named Mariana. Pedro seems to get the name right away. The Beltbuckle is so not happy with this name. He says she died, and Pedro says not only died, but murdered.

Jamie the "doc" is in alone with the Pig who is now sequestered in his bed, unable to move or speak, he can blink his eyes but that is about it. Jaime is saying, you are now truly incapacitated. The Pig is thinking maybe Doris or Valentin will figure out what Jaime did to him and help him. Jaime must be good at reading thoughts, cause he tells the Pig, noone will figure this out, so noone will be able to help you.

Lucas and Doris are having an after en flagrante little convo and Doris wants to know exactly what Lucas was hired by the Beltbuckle to do. Well since Lucas in the afterglow of the en flagrante tells Doris that the med the "doc" is giving the Pig is meant only to incapacitate the Pig, but not to kill him. He says he will marry Doris and the Pig so she can attain her very grand ambition of becoming the Duena of Altrash.

The Beltbuckle, who for some strange reason, is looking fine today, gone is the scruffiness of his habille, is telling his company that his wife Cameela is very happy with him. She is trying not to roll her eyes, and is uncomforable having his arm around her. Valentin comes in and tells the Beltbuckle the workers are talking and want to know about the Pig. The Beltbuckle's company is looking at him enquiringly and he tells them, oh, didn't I tell you? The Pig had a stroke.

Army and Angel are having a meeting in the kitchen, of their apt, and Army is worried that the Virus is going to cause problems, now that she has hit the street. Angel says we can't do anything else for her. Let it be.

The Beltbuckle tells his assembled company that "doc" is with the Pig as we speak, monitoring him. Lucrazy is suspicious and asks to speak to the Beltbuckle alone. She pulls him into the hallway, which leaves are unhappy couple Cameela and Pedro, quite alone. The first thing Lucrazy asks the Beltbuckle if he is doing something, like maybe killing Papa Pig? Lucrazy says you did all this just to get Altrash.

The workers of Altrash have assembled, Panchito, Tracy, Alberta and Val are all talking about what has happened to the Lord and Master of Altrash. Panchito is the only one that is truly concerned. Val tells them, noone can get in to see the Pig, per the orders of the new Patron, The Beltbuckle. Panchito is truly upset and wants the truth. Valentin tells them he is under orders not to speak.

Sarita and Gabe are having another meeting about are you marrying me, yes or no. Sarita is not looking like her usual perky self. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. She wants to know, if by bugging him constantly about getting married, if that is why he suddenly wants to marry her? (No actually it was that little belly dance that did it, but he isn't telling her that). He tells her now he wants to marry her, truly, and it isn't an obligation. She wants to know seriously? He says yes, seriously, (and now the annoying peacocks are screaming for all they are worth) he loves her forever. Many kisses.

Lucas has gone, and Doris is back talking to Brigette. Doris tells Brigette about what the Beltbuckle's plans are regarding the Pig and incapacitating him. She tells Brigette that Lucas will marry her and Don Pig so she can be the Duena of Altrash. Brigette tells Doris not to trust Lucas, he is very bad and he makes Doris nervous. Doris says that the Beltbuckle will not deter her from her ultimate misson. (Note to Doris: Too late honey, should have stayed at Altrash and protected your investment, jus' sayin'). Doris leaves and Lucy comes in and says she heard the whole thing.

"Doc" Jaime still in Pig sty , gets a call from Lucas. Lucas wants to know if the Pig is able to sign any papers. Jaime tells Lucas not to worry. While the "doc" is on the phone, the Pig is thinking to himself, maybe Doris or Val will get wise and save him.

Now that Pedro and Cameela, the unhappy couple, are alone, Pedro keeping his voice to a low hiss, wants to know if this baby is in fact, his baby. Cameela says yes, mi amor, the bebe is yours. Pedro grins his first big grin since Cameela left him. He is over the moon. Cameela raises her voice, to a normal tone, and asks Pedro if he wants coffee, he says no, also in a normal voice. They are trying not to get caught doing the low hiss. Cameela warns Pedro that they can't be caught hissing their little intimaticies, cause the Beltbuckle will suspect, so they kept up the inane convo. The Beltbuckle and Lucrazy come back into the room, and Cameela is on one side and Pedro on the other. Noone would ever know they have been low hissing each other. Doris comes into the room also,and wants to know what is going on here? The Beltbuckle informs her the Pig had a stroke. Doris wants to see him, like yesterday. Lucrazy or someone wants to know if it bothers The Beltbuckle that his ex wife is with his Papa Pig. They don't think it is the right thing to be done. Cameela asks after Sarita and Gabe. Lucrazy tells her they are indeed getting married, and soon her and Pedro will do the same, si mi amor? The Beltbuckle tells Pedro and Lucrazy that Altrash is in a bad way right now and something about tomorrow. Someone please fill in.

Doris goes into the Pig's sty and Jaime tells her the Pig is truly incapacitated, cannot move or speak. Doris wants him to go to the hospital, but Jaime argues with her and says it won't help him. He is truly done and stick a fork in him, he is truly roasted, toasted and crisp. I think Jaime tells her the decision for the Pig's treatment rests with the Beltbuckle. Doris tells Jaime to go. She will stay with Don Pig. Don Pig is giving her the stinkeye. He can express with his eyes and mind, but that's it. After Jaime leaves, Doris says you are marrying me, come hell or high water. She reminds Don Pig that they discussed getting married. The Pig, you are not going to beleive this, truly after Monday's recap, I can't beleive they did this to me again, but the Pig is, are you ready, ya sure, wait for it, PRAYING!!!!! I swear. He asks Dios to Ayudi Mi. Really not kidding. Now he decides to pray. Should have gone to Padre and confessed. Doris is telling him then she will be the Duena of Altrash. The Pig is thinking Maldita of Doris, The Beltbuckle is a disgraciato. Doris is saying we are so getting married. The Pig is saying to himself I'll kill you and I will have my revenge on everyone that did this to me. Lucrazy turns to Doris and asks what she is doing here. She says she is helping the Pig to look after him. Lucrazy wants alone time with her Papa Pig.

Panchito has cornered Jaime and is asking after Papa Pig. He wants to know what is being done and the condition of his Papa Pig. Jaime tells Panchito his Papa Pig had a stroke and is now incapacitated and there will be no reversal of his condition. For as long as he lives, this will be forever. Panchito is very upset. Jaime tells Panchito, his Papa Pig needs lots of rest.

Army and Angel have gone out to the Only Ice Cream Shop in Fresno and they meet up with Flor and her friend. Flo gives Army her laptop so he can contact Fabi. Angel is hinting around that he wants some alone time with Flor, so her friend leaves and they giggle at each other.

Lucrazy wants to go in to see her Papa Pig, and The Beltbuckle takes her off to the side and warns her again not to say anything. She goes to see Papa Pig and Pedro, Cameela and the Beltbuckle are now alone. The Beltbuckle wants Pedro to go, but Pedro says he will wait for Lucrazy. All of a sudden the Virus has shown up at Altrash. She comes into the room and the Beltbuckle wants to know what she is doing here? He hustles Cameela out of the room and puts her in her room. While the Beltbuckle is hustling Cameela to her room, the Virus is asking Pedro what the heck he is doing at Altrash. He lights into the Virus and tells her, it is her fault Cameela is stuck in a marriage she loathes with the Beltbuckle. She tells Pedro she would have ended up in jail, if Cameela hadn't done that, so the solution was to marry the Beltbuckle. Meanwhile the Beltbuckle is telling Cameela to stay in her room, not to come out and be exposed to the Virus. He doesn't want that indio to have any inkling the bebe is his. The Beltbuckle tells her this bastardo bebe is mine, all mine. Cameela is disgusted. Meanwhile, back in living room Pedro is telling the Virus and oh, by the way stop this fiasco, enough is enough already. He tells the Virus that Cameela is pregnant with his bebe. The Virus says, oh now I'm a grandma? Back in Cameela's bedroom, Cameela is telling the Beltbuckle to see after his Papa Pig. It isn't good just to have Doris looking after him. She tells the Beltbuckle that his Papa Pig needs more help than this "doc" is giving him and something about a year from now. And something else I didn't get, please fill in. Meanwhile back to Pedro and the Virus, she is happy to be a grandma, but Pedro warns her, that Cameela's pregnancy will be bad at Altrash. The Virus isn't fazed. This baby will be a Negrete (she is so clueless, the name has no prestige anymore and they do have money, but by the time the Beltbuckle leeches it out, there won't be anymore). They are interruped by the Beltbuckle coming back into the living room. The Beltbuckle wants to know what she is really doing at Altrash. The Virus says she came to talk to the Beltbuckle and gives him congrats on the bebe. He asks her what she *really* wants. Pedro excuses himself from this convo and goes outside. The Virus says she came to Altrash for, wait for it, not Mi Cheque, but Mi Dinero!!!!!

Lucrazy is now with Papa Pig. She approaches the bed and tells him she is sorry he is this way. She truly looks concerned. Doris is in there too. Lucrazy tells her Papa Pig he needs to get better. He is following her with his eyes. He thinks to himself he doesn't want to be this way, but maybe his daughter can help him. Noone else is attempting to help him, and everyone is an imbecile. Now Lucrazy is doing something really smart and I have to say, I didn't think she would ever do, but she tells the Pig to close his eyes if he understands her. And I think once for yes, twice for no, which he does. Now he can communicate. Doris can't beleive Lucrazy has figured this out. There was something about not permitting him to I think, please fill in. The Pig is saying to himself maldito again, and everyone there (Lucrazy and Doris) know the Beltbuckle is responsible for his condition. The Pig is thinking, no hija this guy is not my son. Doris says does Lucrazy think she is protecting the Beltbuckle? Lucrazy says she'll come back to talk to the Papa Pig again, Lucrazy leaves and Doris tells the Pig she isn't going anywhere.

Pedro is now in Val's office on a mission of his own, now that everyone at Altrash is busy, he can snoop around looking for proof of the blackmail that the Beltbuckle used against the Virus. Pedro is pulling out doors, looking in the desk, just everywhere. He sees the locked credenza but can't open it. He hears a noise and hides and it is Val and some guy. Val is showing this guy a gun and telling him what a sweet little pistola it is. They finally go, and Pedro comes out of hiding to continue his mission. He is searching some more and finds his gun, the one Val stole. Pedro wondering how his pistola wound up at Altrash. Now he wants to shoot open that cabinet. Pedro aims at the cabinet, but doesn't shoot it. He can't; he is thinking of Cami and the bebe and is afraid of what would happen if he does it.

The Virus and the Beltbuckle are now alone, continuing their convo. The Virus tells him she needs money and the Beltbuckle tells her that's her problemo. The Virus really needs the Beltbuckle to help her. She tells him he got his ultimate prize, Cameela of course, and this would be a big FAVOR for her, oh please, where is the sleepytime tea???? He tells her he'll give her money, but he isn't supporting her, evva and to leave him in paz. He also tells the Virus he doesn't want her anywhere near Cameela. Meanwhile, Cameela is in her room, praying to the Virgincita to ayudi mi. The Beltbuckle and the Virus are continuing their little convo and she tells the Beltbuckle she wants her own house, can't live with her son, his cousin or her sister. He tells her he will give her the money and wants her to leave he and Cameela in paz. He tells her this is the end of the gravy train, no more dinero. He tells her the Pig had a stroke and is completely incapacitated. She gets a sh*t eating grin on her face about that and is most amused. She thanks the Beltbuckle for the money. Lucrazy comes in the living room and the Virus tells her she is glad to be a grandma. Lucrazy is snippy with the Virus about Cameela, but the Virus tells her, she has to respect Cami now that she is married to the Beltbuckle. She also tells Lucrazy, hey now that Cami is married to that Beltbuckle of a brother of yours, the path is clear for you to marry Pedro es Mio. Lucrazy goes.

The Virus goes into the Pig Sty and sees the Pig all trussed up in his sty, all folorn looking. She mocks the Pig. She tells him Poor little you. She tells him you are nothing now.

There is a shot heard at Altrash. Cameela in her bedroom is worried about Pedro. She says oh Dios Mio and runs out of her room. It wasn't Pedro shooting his gun at the credenza, it was Val shooting that gun for his pal. The Beltbuckle comes out to see what is going on. Meanwhile Doris runs into Cami and they are wondering about that shot. Lucrazy has come out too, looking for Pedro. Pedro, meanwhile takes a quick look around the office and says Manana I will be back to find the proof.

Cameela and Doris go outside and Cameela says she was looking for the Beltbuckle to find out why there was a gunshot. Doris tells the Beltbuckle to knock it off his Papa Pig needs rest and calm, not gunshots. He tells them Val was testing a gun. Cameela wants the Beltbuckle to come back in the house. The Beltbuckle tells Cameela to get used to the guns. They all carry them at Altrash, see he even has one, and the bebe will be learning to shoot one too. Cameela is so not happy with that. The Beltbuckle stays and Cameela goes. She goes to the office and finds Pedro. She wants to know what he is doing there. He says there is so much keeping them apart, through no fault of their own, and that they love each other and nothing ever, ever will seperate them. Many passionate kisses.

Labels:


Comments:
Hi all. I posted early so that you all can help me with some things I missed. I live near the active duty runway of a Master Jet Base, and today they were flying low doing touch and goes and the noise blocked out a lot of the sound, so I missed part of the epi. Please fill in anything I missed.

Who knew Lucrazy was so smart. She is like a savant in some ways.

Glad Pedro and Cameela have some alone time, once in a while.

And what is up with these peacocks? Did the soundman quit or something? Or the editing team? Must have gone for a liguid lunch and said oh what the hell leave it in. lol.

The Virus will never give up the dinero. Now its Mi Dinero and not Mi Cheque.
 

Maybe the frustration of not having Pedro kept Lulu dumb? Can't believe she figured out a way to communicate with the dad. And what's with the Pig saying he only likes Lulu now? What about Panchito, the guy who's been taking care of EVERYTHING lately? Bad dad.

With all that metal stuff on the wall of the office, surely one of those could've pried open the lock or taken off the hinges. Maybe Pedro should ask for Lulu's help on this one.

kelly
 

This sure was a rip-roarin' episode, with lots of action and lots of ACTING. Many of our characters seem to have belatedly figured out that this is a comedy and are giving it their all. Loved Doris trying on the cowboy hat, Pedro and Camila's "low hiss" conversation (good one, Madelaine) and Lucrazy getting so into the argument that she blew Doris's hair off her face.

And frankly, I think there should be a peacock in every scene.
 

Oh, and BTW, "HIDING IN CLOSET OR BATHROOM" -- ding ding ding! Do we have Bingo again, Rosemary? I lost my card.
 

Oooooh, Madelaine, thank you for posting your very last El Tal recap early! Your Low Hiss theme is brilliant.

I think Cameela was telling Antonio that she heard a lot of yelling when he was alone with El Pig and some of the voices were from "outside the house". She knows the voices of everyone who works there and she heard voices she didn't recognize so she suspects something very bad went down with El Big. Then the Belt Buckle threatened her to keep her mouth shut about it or else bad stuff might happen to the baby.

I like how Pedro put his fingerprints all over his gun. Why didn't he keep it in the rag it was wrapped in and then give it to El Capitan?

Lu asked El Pig if Tony was responsible for his condition and El Pig blinked "yes". Then Doris said she just knew Tony had done this. (Trying to jump on the badwagon.) Later Doris told El Pig he was going to start paying for all he had done.

I, too, was amazed that Lu was the one to figure out how to communicate with Papa Pig.

I've got to hand it to Doris, she's got a certain style. I loved it when she put Pig's hat on, announced she would be the owner and asked El Pig, "How do I look?"

As boring as our main couple is, I was pretty happy that they both admitted the baby is Pedro's and they still love each other. Was I finally seeing some little inkling of chemistry between them?

I agree with Blue Lass, they are giving it their all for this comedic climax.

Thanks Madelaine! This was one of your funniest recaps ever and a great way for you to say farewell to this decrepit raft you have been keeping afloat.
 

Mads:

Loved the song. Giggle. Hums..."don't cry for me..." giggle.

Doris is still my heroine in this comedy of manners but little Lulu is coming on in the stretch. Who knew the filly had it in her?

Thanks again.

EJ
 

Thanks Madelaine... thanks for another great recap and thanks for sticking with this TN and breathing some life into it, helping to make this such and entertaining and fun ride.

Hurrah for Lucrazy, is that redemption I smell or just that exotic perfume that she wears? Right now she's moved ahead of Camila in terms of usefulness.

Best line in today's show goes to Tony for telling Lu, "Better that you accept that your papá is going to be something like a piece of furniture in this house..."

Poor Pedro, he had me cracking up as he wrestled with whether or not to shoot that lock. Hamlet couldn't have done better.

Carlos
 

Thanks to all of your for your great comments.

Kelly - agree with you about the metal objects on the wall. I thought Pedro would do that too, but I think he was afraid of being caught.

Blue Lass- so agree with you about the acting. I got more out of them from the body language today than I usually do. Every time the Pig thought something the jets would fly over and block what he said lol. And Blue thank you for the nice compliment.

Cap'n-thank you for what I missed and the nice compliment. I just had to see this one to the end. It was such a *hot mess* but a fun one.

EJ - thank you so much for your compliment. I like the nickname Mads you and Rosemary call me. Your song was cute over there at Abismo I just had to plagirize a little lol.

Carlos - thank you for the nice compliment and thank you for what I missed. The Pig is like a piece of furniture lol, but I like what I could hear of what he said, same old Pig. Same thoughts especially about venganza lol. I felt the same as you and Kelly about that lock. He could have gotten it off, but he was afraid of being caught. Especially after Val almost caught him.
 

Oh, and Cap'n I thought Pedro too would save the gun and cloth and take it directly to El Capitan.

Also like Doris' style, but I wonder how she can get Altrash now, since essentially it belongs to the Belbuckle. Maybe, by some miracle, the Pig will bounce back, who knows with this thing. lol.
 

Madelaine, thank you for the recap. Of all of the days I had to be out town, my husband chose today. I wasn't going to try and find the episode online, but I might just have to look for it to see some body language!

I grew up in Corpus Christi and at the time it was the home of the Blue Angels and watching the planes was our daily entainment. As I got older, the pilots got more of our attention than the planes.

The Virus really is a woman of great character - she never deviates from her mission be it Mi Dinero or Mi Cheque.
 

Carlos, leave it to you to identify the zinger quote of the episode. You are better than Hercule Poirot at ferreting out the little gems.

Madelaine, I forgot to thank and compliment you for your song. I have a habit of making up satirical lyrics to songs all the time so I can appreciate when others, like you, EJ and Novela Maven do it.
 

Thank you Anon. I love the Blue Angels. I was stationed in Pensacola at one point in my naval career and got to see them practise every Wednesday, when they were there and not performing anywhere. They are some "hawt guys" I have to say, the best in the Navy.

The body language sometimes, for me anyway, is sometimes better than the dialogue. I have relied on it for this TN.

Cap'n thank you so much about the lyrics lol to Don't Cry For Me El Talisman, lol. Did it in under five minutes, but wanted to add a second verse. I'll think about that. It just felt so apropos for the ending of this one. We have stuck with this TN as if mesermized by it. lol. It is like watching a train wreck that you can't look away from and at the last minute, the train rights itself and goes along as if nothing has happened.
 

Madelaine thanks for your recaps (I wasn't able to post on Monday). Still the love the quotes from Poirot. And your lyrics were a hoot. Finally add me to the list of those shocked that Lulu figured out how to talked to Daddy.

Thanks to you, Anita, Blue Lass and R la O for making this wreak into a hilarious snarkfest!

It's odd to me that most of the episode focused on the roasted Pig and tried (at to me it seemed) to make sure feel bad for this terrible man. Watching the various people come in and mock him has been funny.
 

Karen, maybe the revolving door style of Pig mocking is part of his comeuppance. He seems to have spent his whole life terrorizing people, now he forced to lie there having to hear what everyone really thinks about him as they take turns insulting him. I don't feel the least bit sorry for him. He brought this on himself.

Madelaine, I think the Poirot quote for this episode was the best of all. I see now that you saved the best for last.
 

Thanks Karen, I'm with the Cap'n about the Pig. He deserves everything he gets, especially after he killed poor Mariana in cold blood. Maybe this is his ending, unable to do anything and imprisoned in his own body, so he can think of all the maldito things he's done.

Cap'n I looked for a succint quote from M. Poirot just for this epi because as I said he is nearing the end, either by being a prisoner in his own body or being offed in the end. What really miffed me was his praying! Didn't he try to kick the Padre out because he said all Padres had long tongues? I don't know what that was all about, but Padres take that vow of silence forever for the confessional. Yay, maybe it's because the priest can probably see into his evil soul jus' sayin' lol.
 

I think he put paid to any sympathy we might have had for him by praying for just one more day...so he could take his vengeance on everyone. Interesting theology. What kind of Sunday school do you think he went to?
 

Mads' last El Tal recap, and she goes out on a high note, a peacock call to be exact. This was great fun. I loved the song!

My favorite scene was Pedro whispering Te Amo during the low hiss conversation.

Now had Lu been acting like this the whole time she may have actually given Camila a run for her dinero with Pedro.

Has anyone else noticed Doris' eyes if you play the avances in SloMo? Ruh-roh.

Who here, deep down, is happy to see this show end? Just as I thought. Nobody.

R la O
 

Yes, I will miss it. But I'm only admitting that because few of you know my real name.

The avances appear to be all gun-grabbing footage from previous episodes. Do you think they'll go live for the finale, like on Tootsie? It would be interesting to see whom the actors would kill, given the choice. (Assuming the writers are off limits.)
 

RlaO-thanks for your wonderful comment. Agree with all you comments. Doris did have a strange look in her eyes, scary.

Blue and RlaO- will miss this one because of the great fun it was with you both and Anita recaping this *hot mess* lol. In a couple of weeks I will check out youtube for bloopers for this TN. I have seen bloopers of LQPNA and MEPS too funny. I am sure they will have lots from this what with the peacocks during dialogue and especially I am sure with the Pig.
 

Oh, and Blue so looking forward to your recap this evening.
 

Omigosh Madelaine, what a great idea! A blooper reel would wash some of the angst away -- and I imagine we'll be commenting well into next week and perhaps beyond. It's hard to let go of the oobleck.
 

I intend to go out in a blaze of gunfire -- even if I have to supply it myself. We were planning on replacing that TV, anyway.
 

I'm late to the party, but everything I would have said has been said.

Mads--(and who wouldn't be after all these weeks)--your Song needs to be memorialized on La Plaza de Caray. Is it finished and spit polished? If so, I'll get Mike to add it, ok?
Anita
 

Anita thanks for you wonderful comment. I never finished the second verse. If you all want to supply a second verse, y'all can and then Mike can put it on Plaza de Caray,lol.
 

I hope the Pig gets to spend the next 40 years in an institution, immobilized and mute, with Lucrazy and El Viral also locked up there and babbling idiocy at him all day every day.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Julia love your idea of what happens to the Pig and with
the Virus to boot, lol. It would serve him right. I don't know about Lucrazy she has grown a brain lately, become more lucid and can communicate with the Pig with eye movements. Who knew?
 

Oh and Kelly you are so right about Panchito. He really has been looking after the Pig all this time, and the Pig never seemed to have time for him. He only used him as a lackey. Now he can think about what he did.
 

Ha ha. "Sit in the corner and think about what you did."
 

Well, maybe Lucrazy and Doris could just visit constantly to whine at him.

Well, the good news is that Flor doesn't have any Pig genes. I'm still not at all convinced about Fabi.
 

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