Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Abismo de pasión #99 7/31/12: In which the BandanaHand Man Strikes – or – There’s an animal in the house!
La Ermita, donde Padre Lupe: Lupe is being transferred to a different pueblo? Gael is dismayed and outraged but Lupe is resigned. He’ll go to Mérida for the details.
At the reception desk of Doc Tovar’s consultorio, Begoña shrilly waxes theological: “¡Gracias a Dios, existen las clases sociales!” Because if there weren’t class distinctions, Paloma might feel entitled to become involved with her Quique. And that must NOT happen. (Oh and don’t tell my husband about our little chat, okey doke?)
Rural Health and Transplant Center: Doc discharges Toña (dar de alta) with instructions to take it easy. Her demon spawn has to stay a few more days. When doc leaves, Chente rejects his mother’s offer to stay with him. All he cares about is Gabino and Gabino doesn’t want to see him. “Hubiera muerto en ese accidente.” (I should have/Would that I had died in that accident!)
[Mutters on the Patio: Would that he had!]
In the Kitchen at Casa Castigo, Braulio fills Dolores in on Toña’s dirty tricks – Vicente isn’t his son!
La Dueña and her right bandanahand man at the Pro Ce:
Asunto 1: Alfabitch reproaches Gab for putting that criminal, Horacio, in her hacienda. Gab, who wields the pluperfect subjunctive like a pro, says:
“Si lo hubiera sabido – en mi vida! – no hubiera* atrevido a llevarlo a su hacienda.” (If I had known – why, never in my life – I would never have dared to bring him to your hacienda.)
[*Gab uses an imperfect subjunctive in place of a conditional for the auxiliary verb in the “then” clause. And so can you!]
Asunto 2: Gab is to see to Braulio’s liquidation. [Here Gab perks up.]
Asunto 3: Gab is to give half his salary to support Toña and Chente. Or he will be fired too. “Lo que usted diga, Señora.” (Burn in hell, you miserable bag of botox!)
Asunto 4: Complete the deal for Augusto’s land or return the money she gave him. “I’m working on it, Señora.” (Do you feel the flames now, you filthy old hag?)
Ingrid makes a brief appearance at Lupe’s house to thank Gael for beating up Gabino. She rejects his offer to help her break free of Gab, feigning concern for Gael’s safety. She has, she reminds him, already lost one child.
Maru may have lost her place on the “not stoopid” list when she blabs to Gab that Dam will be in Mexico until Monday.
Close-up of BandanaHand man: “Así que doña Alfonsina se quedó solita,” he gloats, rolling his tongue a little in a vaguely obscene and disgusting fashion. (So the doña is all alone.)
Get a Job! sha la la la ...sha la la la la ... ba dum ...
At Casa Castigo, the tía is an orange blaze of fury. She can’t find the check and Gabino is demanding Cielo Abierto. Now Elisa will have to pay Alfie with Steffie’s land and the two of them will be left with zilch. Elisa corrects her: The invernadero has been a success and with the profits of her harvest, she’ll be able to pay off Alfie and still keep HER land. It’s the Killer Orange who’s screwed. Maybe she should make herself useful, find a job even.
In Mexico, Florencia Landucci de Arango, pregnant or not, wants to toast her triumph. Her new husband’s expression says: “Just shoot me now and get it over with.”
Gael and Elisa at the Fonda in La Ermita: Stoopid Elisa blabs about the account in which Augusto supposedly put Gabino’s money and how she’s using it to pay Alfie. But OrangeSlush must not know!
[Even those at Gael’s table agree: The man can’t keep his mouth shut. Oh Elisa.]
Gael confides that he’s about to lose Lupe. The church is transferring him. Who knows why?
Hablando del rey de Roma ...
The bishop in Mérida tells Lupe to prepare to leave La Ermita in three months. Lupe begs for six. The bishop will consider it. But, he says -- subjunctively and imperfectly -- he doesn’t want Lupe to think of the transfer “como si fuera un castigo” (as if it were a punishment) or “como si lo fuéramos a mandar al fin del mundo” (as if we were sending you to the ends of the earth).
Lupe knows a transfer was in the works – but why the rush? The bishop admits that someone complained. Which is not to say he BELIEVED that person but ...
Lupe knows exactly who that rotten piece of citrus ... er ... person was.
Today is the day!
They are grinning at the Blue House of Shame! “Today”, announces Gabino to Ingrid, “is the day to say goodbye to Alfonsina Arango.” She will be completely alone in the house tonight. And Gabino makes it clear – Ingrid is expected to get her hands dirty. Or bloody.
Everyone wants a piece of Braulio [Scooch on over and make some room at the table, EJ, R la O and BL]
Toña, back in her room at the hacienda, mourns Braulio’s absence. Where IS Braulio anyway? Sharing a Blatant Product Placement with Quique: Their hearts may be breaking but their palates tingle from Tostachos, the chips with salsita y toda la cosa.
When Quique learns Braulio has been fired, he tells him he has an idea that might interest him ...
Meanwhile, Elisa has an idea for Braulio’s future – he could take Horacio’s place in the butcher shop. After all, B loaned H the start-up cash.
Enrique catches Paloma when she comes out of work. She’s pretty bummed out, not in the mood for dinner, though she’s very nice about it. She does let slip that Begoña came by earlier to yell at her for seeing Quique – and so did Flor, by the way.
Gweedo, alone in his hotel room, mulls over Ingrid’s offer to sell out Gabino and person(s) unknown so Gweedo can clear his name. He is surprised by Paolo’s visit. And even more surprised when he hears why he is there: The little momzer wants Gweedo to stand by him when he asks Sabrina for her hand in marriage.
A Mother with a sense of perspective:
Said Sabrina lolls in bed and pouts. She is glum because her dad disapproves of Paolo. Begoña brushes off her daughter’s concern and explains to her what really matters: Getting married before Alfonsina’s son does – otherwise Sabrina’s wedding will go unnoticed.
Hacienda Harango – “Qué pena con usted, señora”
Sickly Toña lets her patrona know she’ll be spending the night with Chente at the Health Center. In an uncharacteristic gesture of generosity (which may affect her circle of hell, one with decent help, perhaps), Alfie tells Toña to have the hacienda chauffeur drive her to the clinic. The driver can go home afterwards since she won’t be needing him tonight.
Outside, Gabino and Ingrid are lurking around the electrical boxes. Gabino pries one open noisily.
Inside, snug in her bedroom, Alfie yawns and begins to get ready for bed.
Outside, Gabino does something to the open power box.
Inside, the lights go out. Low, suspenseful chords play. Alfie lights a candle and curses the darkness. A noise sounds. “¿Paolo? ¿Eres tú?” She peers out and sees no one. More creaking. Doors slamming.
“Nada más falta que se haya metido un animal” she grouses. (Just what I needed – an animal getting in the house!)
She makes her candle-lit way down the hall. Startled when a shadow passes before her, she drops her candle. “Who’s there? Answer me!” She keeps moving forward, increasingly frantic, bumping into furniture.
Now someone pulls her hair and grabs her around the neck. “Ingrid!” says Alfie incredulously. Now Gabino comes from behind and hits her hard. She falls to the floor. “She recognized me!” says Ingrid in a panic. “No importa”, Gabino reassures her. “She won’t be able to tell anyone. The filthy BandanaHand aims a pistol at Alfonsina’s elegant head. We hear a click as the hammer is cocked.
Curls is over her panic now. She eggs him on: “Shoot her, Gabino! Shoot her!”
Labels: abismo
You know you're brilliant,right? You stuck the landing, little lady.
Some memorable lines:
--He has been Flored by a pro.
--[Mutters on the Patio: Would that he had]
--(Burn in hell you miserable bag of Botox)
I really could go on.
This was just fabulous!
Since we have about three months before the end of the series I don't think we need to see the Padre gettin transferred. However, when it's all over he just might want that.
It's too early for the Botox Queen to die and I'm waiting for BeGoneYa to find out her daughter is embarazada.
"He has been Flored by a pro." This recap has been written by a pro.
'“Lo que usted diga, Señora.” (Burn in hell, you miserable bag of botox!)' BuaHahahaaa
The bishop in Mérida tells Lupe to prepare to leave La Ermita in three months.
Hopefully that means this telenovela will be over in three more months.
My favorite line summarized the crescendo of excitment: " The filthy BandanaHand aims a pistol at Alfonsina’s elegant head. We hear a click as the hammer is cocked. Curls is over her panic now. She eggs him on: “Shoot her, Gabino! Shoot her!” Perfect!
Like Sara, I thought "He has been Flored by a pro" was great as was "demon spawn". All of your headings were inspired: "Rural Health and Transplant Center" was my fav. All fabulous.
So, will he or won't he?! If it were Carmina on the soon to be receiving end of that pistol, I have no doubt she would wake up, bug eyed and come up with some ingenious excuse or promise to spare her life. If Alfie is to be spared, I suspect it will only be if someone arrives.
"Everyone wants a piece of Braulio" indeed. I'd like to see him start a venture with Quique. Quique and Brau both need new beginnings, hopefully successful ones.
UA, you may be right in that the good Padre may be begging for a transfer by the time all the dastardly deeds are exposed. :)
Diana
Another gem was Alfonsina's crumb of chauffeur kindness to Tonia..."perhaps earning her a better circle of hell (one with decent help perhaps). Yessss, we wouldn't want Alfie to suffer eternity without a maid or two to wait on her.
Looks like Ingrid and Gabino are about to bungle another asesino, but at least Alfonsina will have a good knot on her head and maybe a little less presumption about her exalted and protected place in the universe.
As always, a treat, NovelaMaven. Smart, instructive and funny as hell. Can't beat that.
I was considering "An imPerfect subjunctive Day for Bandana Man" as a title but wasn't sure how many J.D. Salinger fans would be driven to hurl tomatazos at their laptops, what with the nerfazo orders still backed up and all. Anyhow, I took a safer route.
It's SO nice to wake up to a small flurry of virtual valentines. Thank you, amigas.
Sara -- that is heady praise coming from the queen of snappy snark.
Urban -- as JudyB says, after 3 months, Lupe may be ready to move on. And as Doris points out, WE will certainly have our maletas ready well before then.
Of course, time is an elastic concept in novelaland. Could be a tagline on a screen ("Meses después")or a day that extends through several episodes. But if we are guessing that this thing will be resolved within 3 to 6 months of La Ermita time, that means the "Steal Sabrina's Baby" plotline gets foiled, right? Or so we can hope.
Safe travels, Doris!
you don't deserve a gold medal, you deserve 20 gold medals! move over Michael Phelps! there is a new queen in town...
some of my favs...
--He has been Flored by a pro.
“Lo que usted diga, Señora.” (Burn in hell, you miserable bag of botox!)
“I’m working on it, Señora.” (Do you feel the flames now, you filthy old hag?)
Get a Job! sha la la la ...sha la la la la ... ba dum ...
pregnant or not, wants to toast her triumph. Her new husband’s expression says: “Just shoot me now and get it over with.”
Tostachos, the chips with salsita y toda la cosa.
what really matters(to Be-Gone-Ya): Getting married before Alfonsina’s son does – otherwise Sabrina’s wedding will go unnoticed.
Diana, UA, you may be right in that the good Padre may be begging for a transfer by the time all the dastardly deeds are exposed. :)
Just think of Alfie coming every day to bang herself on the head for having been so STOOOOOOOPID… and Padre Loopy having to listen to that never-ending self-torture rant… it certainly will make him WANT to get the hell-outa-dodge YESTERDAY!!
thanks again NM!! FABULOUS!!
not sure if you know but in Puerto Rico we eat tostones with 'mayo-ketchup' (part mayo, part ketchup mix... the ratio is to taste... i am not a mayo fan, so i get less mayo than most people...).
we also have a 'cielito-lindo dip (sort of a warmed up version of the typical 7-layer dip...
"If it were Carmina on the soon to be receiving end of that pistol, I have no doubt she would wake up, bug eyed and come up with some ingenious excuse or promise to spare her life."
Yup. It looks like Orange may be among the last baddies standing. Do we think Alfonsina will get out of this alive?
JudyB, you are much too kind! If you're right about Ingrid and Gab bungling another kill, maybe Alfie will wake up with AMNESIA! (That square is wide open in this novela, isn't it?)
P-envy? Pshaw! You should have heard me the other day trying to make French verbs act as if they were Spanish. [NM whines: "Je voulais qu'il lui fasse ....????" But why isn't the subjunctive in the past too? Answer: Because it's French, not Spanish, dummy.]
Blue Lass, Most readers find it helps to take some BEANO before eating conjugation candy. (Wasn't sure if you knew.)
"Every country has their favorite dip for chips... in Puerto Rico we eat tostones with 'mayo-ketchup'"
That reminds me of what we saw someone (was it Paloma and Enrique?) eating on an earlier episode, the street food 'esquites', a mixture of 'elote' (corn) plus mayo, piquante, and who knows what else. It turns out to be surprisingly tasty.
Anyhow, the spot worked. Now I'm determined to get me some of them there Tostachos. Because if they're good enough for Quique and Braulio ... jejeje
Count me in as doubting that Alfi gets offed. That would just mess with a lot of plot lines, but then again, how interesting that would be to have Spunkette not have to fake a pregnancy, and Stoopido rushed the wedding and now he's stuck with her ( and she refuses to divorce him). Ok, so maybe this could get good without her. But I think she'll live to harass another day.
Interesting she only saw Two-Tone. Since we know Gab really pines for Carmina, maybe he'll just throw II under the bus. Oh, he may be a slug, but I would be eternally grateful if he would do that.
I have to say, Zepeda does nauseous really well. Guess we should get use to that look for awhile.
Elisa--zip it. I wouldn't even give that auntie the time of day. Don't rub things in, don't talk to her, just go about your business. As for Gael spilling things, I think it's in the water. Face it, Elisa, Pal and he all do that. (only Ramona seems immune.) Longer Dam is there, he'll be the same.
Speaking of Pal, I always taught my kids when someone tries to be snobby to you or throw their weight around, just say nothing, smile and say " nice to see you too" and walk away. Drives those type of people crazy. Pal really needs to control that temper.it just feeds people like Be-gon-ya.
Qui Qui and Braulio - great product placement by the way, and I like the idea of them working together.
As for the Padre--three months, how convenient that that will be about the right time for it to come out he did nothing, blah blah and gets to stay. HOWEVER, my perfect scenario--- he still has to leave, and Gael who has gotten pushed over by Elisa and Pal is hooked up with QuiQui decides he doesn't need no La Ermita either, and they both leave TOGETHER! if only.....
The magistrate learned Dam Coerced is just not that into Florencia
Guido learned Paolo wants to "marry" Sabrina
Lolita learned Braulio broke up with Tona because he was NOT the father.
Gael learned "Augusto" left Elisa some cash & that Gabino is owed half of Cielo Abierto
We learned Ingrid wears high heels everywhere, even to hit jobs
We also learned Enrique really likes Tostachos and he has a "plan".
Recap as mood elevator? Nice. (But remember, these things ARE addictive. Or at least, habit-forming.)
"I have to say, Zepeda does nauseous really well. (yes he does. He also rocks a business suit.) Guess we should get used to that look for awhile.
Oh yes. He also does anger, disgust, petulance. Not so much romance, passion and humor.
Great advice for Paloma -- and all of us.
"...how interesting it would be ..." if Gabino DOES pull the trigger. I'd love it if Paolo, knowing that Doc T was planning to impede his marriage to his daughter, elopes with Sabrina before getting the news that a house has fallen on the witch.
Thanks for the great list, Anon207, especially re Ingrid's footwear. I was going to mention it in the recap and then things got so interesting, I forgot all about it.
P.S. We DID already know that Enrique has a plan -- he told Edmundo on an earlier episode -- but we definitely didn't know he was a Tostacho hound. :-)
La Paloma
We also learned that Lolita thinks it's a good idea for Braulio to take over the butcher shop.
La Paloma, so nice to see you here today. (You know, since I stopped thinking of this as a morality play and starting thinking of it as mud wrestling cum Spanish lessons, I'm a much happy camper.)
Hi Pasofino! Yes, Lolita thinks it's a good idean. Me, I'm not sure I'd like to see Braulio donning Horacio's bloody apron amid all the imagery of carnage.
Hey ... maybe they can use the shop as home base for Enrique's Idea (which, perhaps, has something to do with habaneros???).
*I* would prefer to see Quique and Brau go work with Elisa at the invernadero.
We are still getting Quique and Pal scenes and I swear I heard he hint of a Palquique theme. AND Ramona is convinced it is not int he cards for the Gaeloma 'ship. I still want a Pal/Quique match up.
I also don't think Fina will die now. She has to see how horrible she has been to almost everybody before her death. Amnesia is a tantalizing thought but most meanies don't lose their memory at all.
Definitely, Sara.
Gaeloma -- a fatal disease; a tumor.
Palique -- an exotic place, a delicious treat.
Did you notice the sappy violins playing for Chente? As if we were being told to sympathize with him? And meanwhile he's telling his mother "This is all your fault!" The same mother who just put her life on the line for him by donating her kidney!
"At Casa Castigo, the tía is an orange blaze of fury."
"Their hearts may be breaking but their palates tingle from Tostachos, the chips with salsita y toda la cosa."
Did anyone else notice that, as Alfonsina was creeping around with the candle (just before she dropped it) we saw a flash of a shadow on the wall behind her....a distinctive silhouette with ponytail and side-curls? For some reason that really cracked me up.
Karamy
A brilliant piece of recappingm'dear. It couldn't get any better.
My fav line of the recap:
[*Gab uses an imperfect subjunctive in place of a conditional for the auxiliary verb in the “then” clause. And so can you!]
I cannot stop laughing.
NM, I have compiled the following list in loving tribute to you and our other dear recappers on Caray:
How you know a recapper is having an influence on your life:
1. You spend two hours trolling your old books shelved in the garage seeking college Spanish grammar texts. When you find them, dusty and yellowed, you find that (sadly) they have barely been cracked open. You wonder how you scored so highly in college Spanish.
2. You search You Tube to listen to song references you are too un-hip to understand.
3.You wait with bated breath for recaps.
4. You find recaps MUCH more exciting and interesting that the capitulos, esp. 'long about now in the storyline.
5. You delight in the banter and creative exchanges between Caray members.
6. You laugh out loud at your own secret jokes with your little friends on Caray that no one else can see.
7. You think, "I can't WAIT to tell NM about that!" in reference to something you saw on a TN.
Thanks for this great recap, NM. You are truly appreciated.
EJ
Just a thought...
EJ
“Una boda por lo civil – Or saying “I do” when you really don’t” Poor ole Damian looked about as “don’t” as you possible can!
“Rural Health and Transplant Center” Others have mentioned this, but I have to salute it too!
“Maru may have lost her place on the “not stoopid” list” Dern! The poor “old dear” has made an appearance on every list we have!
♪ ♪ Bésame, bésame mucho, como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez... ♪ ♪ sung subjunctively and imperfectly, ¿ sí?
Elisa did blab to Gael (drats!) but I’m so glad that she mentioned that SHE has worked hard at with her mother’s land. We had to be told because the camera man has focused on nothing but her crying!
More subtle humor....Anon207 “Lolita learned Braulio broke up with Tona because he was NOT the father.”
Sara didn’t get by yesterday in time to thank your for your delightfully snappy recap...thanks!
Did I see "...a flash of a shadow on the wall behind [Alfie]....a distinctive silhouette with ponytail and side-curls?"
No! Really? You miss so much when you're scribbling notes -- I MUST go back and check it out. That's hilarious!
And commandingly...!
Braulio and Quique should put their heads together and come up with something else like a new restaurant or Nacho Shop called the Procesadora Survivors Club.
Father Lupe needs to have another talk with Carmina in his Voice of Doom voice.
Are we sure it was Ingrid saying shoot her shoot her, and not one of us? I can't see Alfonsina dying. She's one of the main baddies, and it's too early for her to go.
I love Spanish grammar because it was never inflicted on me in school. I love grammar in general because I love the way languages fit together -- it has nothing to do with nightmare images of Miss McGavock diagramming sentences for the fifth grade English class.
Speaking of hip and un-hip. I am forty years past hip. Hippy, maybe. Aging hippie, perhaps. But hip ... sigh. I leave that to my children. And to some of the more plugged-in members of our community.
Gabino setting up Alfie to kill Ing and then wielding that as a weapon? I know he's that twisted and malicious -- but is he that smart? oooooh. [Still. We all agree -- Curls is too irritating to live.]
If Florencia's sonogram CLEARLY shows a penis but the baby comes out a female, Flo has some explaining to do.
HOWEVER, if the sonogram indicates a female baby and it comes out male, it can always be explained by the baby hiding his pee-pee in the womb. That happened to my friend. Her doctor told her she was having a girl and everyone (not me) bought pink girly stuff for the baby shower. (I bought white)
Baby is born, it's a boy, he was hiding his "stuff" in the womb!
I'm still not convinced that Sabrina will be the donor, since there was Gael/Paloma sex and I think the doctor claimed Flor was 2 weeks pregnant?
If I heard right, that Flor is 2 weeks pregnant, Sabrina's baby would be too old...Flor would have to be "premature".
The Procesadora Survivors Club!
How Fitting! I would patronize such an establishment.
Make Braulio an butcher? Obscene!
EJ
♪ ♪ Bésame, bésame mucho, como si fuera esta noche la ultima vez... ♪ ♪ sung subjunctively and imperfectly, ¿ sí?
¡Claro que sí! Game on!
Anon1:25 Ultrasound and baby not the same sex? I never thought of that! Yet another reason the whole plan is so very, very STOOPID! jejeje
Cathyx
"Are we sure it was Ingrid saying shoot her shoot her, and not one of us?"
Well now that you mention it ... :-)
"We had to be told because the camera man has focused on nothing but her [Elisa's] crying!"
...well, and maybe a little bit on some other things too. :)
"well, and maybe a little bit on some other things too. :)" I think several of the camera men are doing time for their "work" on this novela! Ha, ha
Alfie saw Ingrid, so either Alf must die.... or Ingrid with Gabino "rescuing" the Alfabitch. That's my guess. That can't kidnap Alfie and hold her for two or three months.
Doris..
Work has gotten in the way of my commenting abilities today, but I see my Caraymates have already said it all. Hilarious recap! I was particularly tickled by the Tostachos ad and tag line, both in the recap and when I saw it. LOL! These poor actors. I watched LQNPA last night, and not only were there dozens of Tostitos and Del Monte items in the background of one scene, but the poor actors had to also stand in front of a Tostitos snack stand, and one of them had to awkwardly hold some beverage with the label showing just so, through a whole conversation with two other characters. Ay yay yay!
What a great cliffhanger ending, but Gab and Ing have to be the most bungling would-be murderers in world. I also noticed that Ing was wearing high heels. Seriously? Who wears designer high heels to a planned break in and murder?
Alfi may be a manipulating beyotch who thinks she can run everyone's lives, but II treated her kids like scum, abandoned her newborn son and left Kenia to die in the road. Off with her head!! (Ooops, wrong fairytale, but you get my drift.)
Doris
Anya
As for Tostachos -- those poor actors indeed! Although maybe there are more laughs on the set than we realize.
Ok guys, there seems to be a growing consensus that Ing is the one about to make her Final Exit.
Anya, I do like your scenario:
"Gab shoots Il, leaves the gun at the scene and calls the cops so that everyone believes Alfie shot Il"
I would favor the "Gab shoots II" outcome on purely aesthetic grounds.
Doris, Aaack -- I hope your airline aggravation is just a memory by the time you read this.
(I am intrigued that your iPhone replaced "nerfazo" with "nerdazo". Hmmm. It knows from "nerdazos", does it?)
Four hour wait til next flight and gate agent was doubtful it will be on time. Mess in San Antonio does not help situation.
I am pretending that I am stuck in a circo telenovela; one that has been extended. ;-)
Anya - I like your theory!
Doris
Say what you will about an iPhone, at least it lets you keep venting.
Suerte, chica!
:-)
My only contribution to the II conversation: Ramona said II would be Gab's downfall. Do you think she meant directly or indirectly?
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