Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Abismo de pasión #137 9/25/12: La Ermita: where the women are chattel, the men are MORONS and the children -- well, there are no children.
Labels: abismo
Novela Maven, I loved "horny robot-style". That totally describes Damian. You do have a way with words my dear.
Biggest surprise, Enrique's kiss and subsequent rejection of Flor. Way to go Enrique! Aside from her recent tragedies (largely due to her own silly self) she has always gotten what she wanted. At least she had the self-awareness to moan mea culpa.
This is quite possibly the best description of Carmina ever: "a fuming, unsatisfied pile of pulp in a fright wig". Yes indeed!
Have our characters been any more stoopid than they were tonight? I think not. Things were much more interesting when the action centered around Ingrid, Gabino and Carmina. Dam's logic (or lack thereof) confused the heck out of me. But whatever, the bigger the blockhead the better the recaps.
Novela Maven, your recaps are always a delight, but I think your descriptions tonight were some of your best ever. Loved the title, loved the recap, love to laugh.
But here were some other gems:
"as if she were a prize pig" (but the runt of the litter, no?)
"mad as habañeros" (think I'll steal that one)
"Alfonsina's engine keeps running on high octane venom" (great image)
{Damian} "is uninterested in theological niceties"(alas, few people are)
and the cherry on top
"Alfonsina doesn't give a tostacho for Lupe's spiritual struggle" (way to work in the product placement, dear lady!)
All in all, a delicious recrap (thanks Doris) of another stoopid episode. But while I want to brain Damian, Gael and Elisa, I'm excited about the new possibilities for Enrique and Paloma. Way to go writers!
You'd think that somebody would have figured out the kinship long ago with the rare blood type in common. But wasn't the doc boinking the TangelHo at the time? If so his brain was fried.
The Botox Queen was about as tacky as it gets with her public tirade. If she actually does have a heart condition I hope it finishes her off. Damian certainly was justified in not forgiving her.
But his handing off Elisa to Gael makes no sense at all.
Gabino should be put out of his misery, but it's Ultimas Semanas so we can look forward to that.
I know how the confessional rules operate in TNs, but no way should the Padre have to suffer for this.
You recappers have been on fire lately! I'm sorry I haven't been able to heap on the kudos in the detail you deserve. Let's put it this way: I've missed quite a few episodes, but I never miss a blog post -- or a single one of the delicious comments. Rock on, Caraymates.
- Paloma arrives and is so glad that she now has an assistant so she can take time off from work guilt free.
- If Elisa were halfway on the ball, she would figure it out. Needless to say, she doesnʼt.
The idiocy exhibited in last night's episode makes me long for the simplicity of the e.coli bakery and the Hermanos Reyes (all of FELS). Ah, yes, the simple life. AdP on the other hand, is not even a circo that Meh-ía could dream up; it has hit train-wreck status in my books.
My fav-o-rite recap line---'Damián is uninterested in theological niceties at the moment. His catechism is more basic:'
This evoked a loud BwaHahahahaaaaaa! from this viewer / recrap reader.
I am setting up a "Throw Dam, Gael, Alfie & Elisa Under The Bus" table on the pationof Really Low Expectations.
Gabino definitely will be wearing a "third bandana" on his … (ahem)… member. Maybe he needs to shoot that thing. Just sayin' .
"You've brought this upon us, Elisa! I hope you're satisfied!" DamFool is dead to me. What an idiot. !Que imbecile! (and a few other words I will not say out loud)
Right, Elisa, it is aaalllll your fault. Feel free to jump into the cenote while wearing lead hot pants.
I'll have my Lanza Nerfazos equipment handy when I watch my recording of this episode.
Abismo de Tontería's level of co-dependency, dysfunction, and all around insanity is truly bizarre. There is no way on earth can DamLisa ever have a normal, healthy relationship. Ever. Jamas.
Gael & Dam would do well to both dump Elisa, go off to a sweat lodge where the men sit in circle and learn to play drums, and work out their Cain & Abel issues with a shrink, after they work through their BitchMother issues.
Alfonsina is Beyond Redemption. Death is the only suitable end for this bruja.
So Dam is disgusted with his mother and will be,,, until after the next commercial break. What else is new?
Gah.
Oh, and I think I saw a bit of bandana fabric sticking out of Gabs' Fruit of the Looms. ;o)
His abs were the best part of this whole episode.
:-)
:-)
:-)
Still not sure QuiQui and Flor are finished. Otherwise, what's the point of having her stick around? But they do not to stop drinking the water in this town and leave soon.
As for the fearsome foursome, dang that Pal is already preggers because honestly, these four shouldn't procreate. Just stop the genetic pool right here, right now.
My stars, I've seen TN's take bad turns, but this one takes the cake.
I would like to thank you for the many snarky lines that had me chuckling, but this one in particular really tickled me for some reason: "The folks around Mad Dog Gael on that night bus from Mérida are probably holding their breath. He is one scary, crazy-looking dude."
Moments that left my mouth hanging open and/or scratching my head:
1) Padre Loopy telling Gael he can't kill Dam because he's his brother. Because if her weren't his brother, it would be perfectly fine to bash his head in with a rock?
2) Dam blaming Elisa for tearing him and Gael apart and causing Gael to nearly kill him!
3) Elisa accepting that it's her fault.
4) Gael blaming Dam for their parents being horrible, slutty, secret keepers, and "stealing" his birthright.
5) Dam "giving" Elisa back to Gael.
These people need major therapy.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the Dam-Gael convo about Elisa was similar to trading baseball cards. Daisynjay said it- these idiots should NEVER procreate and in one instance its too late. Hopefully the child will get recessive genes from those on the family tree with a brain.
Vivi- ITA w/your list.
" Alfonsina doesn't give a Tostacho for Lupe's spiritual struggle."
and thanks for reminding me:
""Even hypochondriacs get sick"
Well, thank goodness that the boys are brothers or Gael would be a killer. Thanks for saying what I was thinking last night, Vivi:
"Padre Loopy telling Gael he can't kill Dam because he's his brother. Because if he weren't his brother, it would be perfectly fine to bash his head in with a rock?"
May I remind you all that there it is not really very significant that Damián, Gael, and Rosendo all have the same AB blood type. Depending on the blood types of Ingrid and Alfonsina (neither of whom could have had type O) both Damián and Gael could have been any type but O.
For a minute there I thought that Padre Lupe might beat his sister to the Pearly Gates.
How generous and self-sacrificing of Dam to offer Elisa to Gael, "Here, brother, would you like the rest of this?"
Carlos
When you break this down, it really is Elisa's fault. She never should have agreed to marry Gael. Everyone knew she didn't really love him, she never even passionately kissed him. She lead him on and made him believe that she did, all because she didn't want to be alone. She even hurt Paloma in the process after swearing to her that she didn't have feelings for Gael. So yeah Elisa, it is all your fault.
I'm with the Tennessee ladies in being glad that Enrique won't end up with Flo. I hope he talks Paloma into getting back to marrying him. But there is that persistent TN rule that states that the father of the baby always ends up with the mother unless he dies. So that means that Gael look alike becomes his old self again, or he dies.
Alfie's fake dying, like the fake baby. She's pathetic.
Carmina is real nervous now that Padre has broken the pledge of the confessional. He might as well speak up since he's not going to be a priest anymore. Speak Padre, Speak!
@Vivi: I totally agree with the things that had you scratching your head. I was scratching mine too.
@cathyx: I agree that it IS Elisa's fault for the Dam/Gael hatefest. I still think Elisa shouldn't have kept her lie going about "giving herself" to Gael first.
On another hand, I am happy to see Flor change her ways. Too bad Enrique doesn't see it yet.
--TF
OMG - Carlos, just perfection.
I now need to go get water since I choked on my lunch.
Gael is older than Damian.
What I'm scared for as of last night:
Carmina offing Lupe, b/c she was looking crazed as Gabino told her he broke confessional and Lupe walking around saying he was excommunicated and condemned.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad some of you got a chuckle or two out of the recap (or should I say "recrap"?)
I can't argue with any of your objections to the utter stupidity of the plot and the weird decisions our characters make from one episode to the next. And yet ...
... I'm hooked. I look forward to this show and when I'm going to be away, I make sure my tv records it for later viewing. Ok. There. I've said it.
The writing, looked at line by line or scene by scene, is always at least workmanlike, and often quite good, sometimes even eloquent.
The actors are all competent; some are much better than competent though we might argue about who belongs in which category.
I love the setting.
The costuming is bizarre, even by telenovela standards.
But the big problem is the vision thing. The story lurches first in one direction and then in another. It makes us uncomfortable because we are looking for dramatic logic and, by this point, resolution; and we aren't finding either one.
Yes, the Pit takes place in a macho world where the Madonna/Whore dichotomy still festers and wounds. Earlier it danced (rather nastily) around themes of incest. Who knows where it is heading now?
Those of us who started out in Fresno know that El Tal set the bar for crap. But honestly, for all its shortcomings, I don't think the Pit comes close to El Tal is crapitude. Seriously...
I loved Padre's total lack of urgency when he was summoned:
Elisa: PADRE! AlfaWitch is DYING! You have to go to the centro de salud RIGHT NOW!
Padre: Yeah, okay. Say, you look upset. What's going on with you? Want to chat about it for awhile?
Loopy and Alfi certainly have the same tendency for drama. I wonder what their childhood was like.
Can Dam even hear himself? "Hey, Gael, now that I've taken Elisa for a test ride, I've realized she's no great prize pony. But she's still good enough for YOU! Here, take the old nag! We'll go and get the brand on her rump changed to your mark."
Thanks for the recap. A masterpiece as always.
i take it you play bridge or spades... been a while, my boss taught me to play bridge when i was single... years and years ago.
Gael, looking positively Neanderthal, holds the stone aloft, lets out a primal cry and throws the stone ... well past Damián.
Damián is uninterested in theological niceties at the moment. His catechism is more basic:
Dios Mio! have mercy! Dying ROFLOL!!! NM, you are going to carry a casualty list soon if you keep this up... 'those who died of laughter from my recaps'
some more of my favs...
His mother is dying (though she really isn't)…
Hey, look, Elisa is crying.
The world according to Alfonsina
Carmina is impactada. ¡No puede ser! Because as Gabino shrewdly guesses, if Lupe is airing his dirty confessional laundry, the Rotten Citrus herself is in danger of being hung out to dry.
INDEED!!! Talk about instant paranoia!!
Flor joins the "Mea culpa" crowd
[Nerfazos of all types are flying -- flying -- through the Patio!]
Yeah some of those look like the rock that was aimed at Dam’s head… maybe it should have made it there…
"NM, you are going to carry a casualty list soon if you keep this up... 'those who died of laughter from my recaps' "
Ay no!!!! No por mi culpa! Bwahahahaha!
(Though it WOULD BE great to show up on one of Anon207's lists. That would be the CarayCaray equivalent of being an answer to a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle clue.)
BTW, I don't play bridge, I just steal metaphors from the game:)
totally agree with Vivi and others on the 'forecast' of the rest of the lives of the four 'ex-amigos'...
vivi, totally agree on the things that scratch our heads...
Carlos... 'here, want the rest of this? ' Brilliant!!
i will join the Pato of EVEN LOWER expectations... maybe the best thing that could happen to this town is to have an epidemic in which EVERYONE dies so the gene pool dies as well... there are not small children and no young people worthy of saving, so not much lost.
My stars, I've seen TN's take bad turns, but this one takes the cake.
well, i have to go back all the way to "La Mentira" '98 to think of a telenovela that was great and then suddenly took a turn for the worse.
agree on the brilliant description of Carmina and all the rest of the quoted lines...
Your recap offering was truly superb, beginning with the first paragraph..."Dam offers Elisa to Gael as if she were a prize pig..." I LOL at that image. Now that he has given Elisa back to Gael they will probably fight over who had sex with her first. GAWD. What an abysmal showing on the part of the brothers Arango. The idea is so antediluvian it almost makes me wish that the whole lot of these man-thugs had been washed away in the great flood.
I was surprised at Tacher, though. I had no idea he had that kind of rage to bring to the acting party. Nice, Mark. You scared the crap out of me while you were on the bus back to L'Ermita. Mad Dog Gael is right, Maven.
"Between a rock and hard head," was another brilliant headline in the recap. I have to wonder if Tacher sort of got something out of that very loong scene where he was sitting on Zepeda's abdomen.
And DamIdiotic's venomous statement to Elisa, "You've brought this upon us, Elisa! I hope you're satisfied!" left me really shocked. I am right there sitting with Karen on the Patio shaking my head. yet another male telenovela galan has past my point of redemption.
Now I do not wish to create the impression that Elisa has any business wasting good oxygen, either. With every sob she inhales air that could be well used on another less victimized and stupid sentient being. god forbid that she fake-marry Gael yet again out of guilt or whatever.
But I think you caught perhaps the most important scene of the evening with this,
"Carmina is impactada. ¡No puede ser! Because as Gabino shrewdly guesses, if Lupe is airing his dirty confessional laundry, the Rotten Citrus herself is in danger of being hung out to dry."
Man oh man is Lupe in trouble now.It looks like Augusto's shotgun could get another workout from Agent Orange and she won't be shooting blanks. These two already hav egreat chemistry and bad blood. Arghh. I hope she doesn't kill Guadalupe! I LOVE Rene Casados, plus I want to see the Pope pardon him for breaking the confessional seal.
Thanks again, NM, for providing a biting and brilliant rendering of the events of last night's capitulo. I loved reading—and re-reading—this recap.
With appreciation from our ardent fan,
Elna June
EJ
I cracked up at Carmina when she found out that Lupe had broken the secret of the confessional. "Say what? Oh no he didn't!"
Don't forget that he already threatened her with doing that very thing.
Padre Lupe has been moved to the top of my list of expendables, nudging out Alfonsina.
Carlos
The writers chose not to make Rosie a complete bastard, and now we know he didn't purposely cut Gael out.
There she is raking in profits from El Yucateco and instead of spending them on herself, she re-invests them to grow the business. Clearly she is buying her outfits from the children's clearance rack at AbisMart.
She never lied to Gael. He knew Elisa was in love with Dam. He just hoped to win her over.
And remember that Paloma had renounced Gael (WE know she was just talking out loud, but remember that Elisa is a bear of little brain.) Essentially, Paloma was following the custom in La Ermita whereby one person GIVES another person to a third party:
Arguably, Lolita GAVE Braulio to Toña; Paloma GAVE Gael to Elisa; now Dam wants to GIVE Elisa to Gael.
Novela Maven, I think Anon207 might go a little wild with your theme of characters GIVING people to others. Didn't Paloma also GIVE Enrique to Flor? Once again you are spot-on in your observations.
It always makes me nervous when Padre makes a crucifix with his arms. ITA he is now at the top of the expendable list. Drat.
Essentially, Paloma was following the custom in La Ermita whereby one person GIVES another person to a third party:
Arguably, Lolita GAVE Braulio to Toña; Paloma GAVE Gael to Elisa; now Dam wants to GIVE Elisa to Gael.
you can't stop cracking us up, can you?? another brilliant line with your signature perfect wording.
Say -- Maybe Lupe could stay on in La Ermita as a spiritual advisor, teacher and interpreter of church doctrine, directly responsible to and paid by the congregation -- a sort of Padre Rabbi. :)
I have my fingers in my ears and I am singing "Las Mañanitas" as loudly as I can. (Thank God Mr. Maven isn't home.)
Carlos
I want Padre to stick around in any capacity. He's just about the only one in town who can make those crazy kids see sense. Padre and Ramona, sometimes Lucio, occasionally Lolita although she also is a terrible Elisa Enabler.
Best line in the show: when Elisa didn't want to tell Lolita and Lucio what happened "porque no quiero llorar". LOL
Best comment: Doris' "no wonder I have acid reflux."
"...better yet, leave the church, find a good woman and get married.
Lupe and Carmina are already far and away the most interesting couple in this TN. They have fantastic chemistry, she is able to confide even her darkest secrets with him, and they've already been a cute couple on La Madrastra.
Carlos
This village has way too many idiots.
More screen time for the villains, please.
As Gabby walked out of Carmina's bedroom, did he mumble, "Now you're the one with the headache?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Here are my two fervent hopes:
1) Paloma inherits Gael's half of the Arango fortune for her child AND Gabino's hacienda, where she forms a she-pack with Flo & Elisa, who dedicate their lives to torturing Alfonsina.
2) Enrique and his dad find true love in the arms of deserving women.
My biggest fear:
A defrocked Padre Lupe -- suddenly forced to wear street clothes -- takes his wardrobe cues from Damian and Gael & starts wearing plaid.
"My biggest fear:
A defrocked Padre Lupe -- suddenly forced to wear street clothes -- takes his wardrobe cues from Damian and Gael & starts wearing plaid."
Could be worse. You know what they say: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.
jejejejejejejeje
Hello patio-mates....in hospital with hubby who has had a hip replacement..... yet I have manage to commandeer the TV to watch our Abismo of Stupidity amid all the clamor around "the bad call." Now that is an addiction!
Cynderella, Cathyx and NM the best recraps ever! Thanks.
Of course I could be wrong, but hasn't Alfie crossed the final expendability test? Is SHE the one who will fall under the Mexican hot pepper truck trying to save the baby that we KNOW Elisa is expecting, thereby redeeming herself as the galan's Madre must do? La Ermita will never be big enough for the Dam Stoopid Arango, Jr family, someone ( Alfonsina) has to go!
The best comments ever today, wish I could fully participate.
Nice to see you around. Hoping Mr. Sandy in TN makes a rapid and uncomplicated recovery.
Oh man, the bad call -- I was SO upset. I had originally included a reference to it in my recap ("We got jobbed!") but then wasn't sure the Patio folks were that into it. :)
Take care!
marta said --- "... maybe the best thing that could happen to this town is to have an epidemic in which EVERYONE dies so the gene pool dies as well..."
SIDEBAR WORTHY!!!
"Padre Rabbi" --- I love it!
daisynjay - your 'regifting' comment has me guffawing.
and … PadLupe defrocked and wearing plaid? Valgame Dios! LOL
Sandy in TN - Abismo of Stupidity is perfect. I hope your hubby will be okay.
NM, I spent an entire day in the hospital family waiting room watching re-runs of "the call" Just glad I'm not on Twitter!
La Paloma
No show could be as bad as El Tal and I defy any telenovela to try. Just try it you posers!!!!
Sandy, so sorry to hear about hubs but I'm glad he's doing well with his bionic hip.
La Paloma, this is definitely the new standard to which I shall aspire! Total zingertude, dude!
JudyB, 9pm isn't 9pm without you -- time zones notwithstanding. And who knows, maybe one day there will be a show worth watching in this slot. We can dream, right?
Sending my best wishes to Mr. Sandy for a completely successful hip replacement. May he run and play with your grandchildren, without pain!
Kind Regards,
EJ
I can understand your defection from the Elisa-is-too-stoopid-for-words Table. Lately she IS showing signs of a double digit IQ. Still, I haven't fallen for Little E. Not yet. Let me see her dump both Gael and Damian for their musical chairs attitude toward women. THEN I will consider joining you at her table on the Patio.
I remain, however, your ardent fan, despite your slight lapse into sentimentality over Little E.
Also, I so appreciate your confession re: the Pit. I, too, am dead-hooked. The setting is so wonderful and the acting continues to be first rate, if, occasionally over the top. It is, after all, a telenovela. The ensemble cast is awfully good together, with the four weakest actors being the leads, IMHO. Not that they are BAD mind, they just have a very high bar to clear with the likes of Blanca Guerra, Sabine, and Castillo around.
There is no doubt that El Tal remains by far the worst TN. It was set in a stupid place, the direction was non-existent, and most of the acting was just plain painful to watch. I thought that Rafael Novoa was the most sulky, pissy, withholding galan I have ever seen. I thought he was dreadful to Soto. Of course it was fun watching Ponce and Diaz play siblings when they were clearly hitting the sack off the screen.
I'm with Judy. The bsst part of El Tal and Abismo has been this wonderful group. You guys are the best.
EJ
I too was upset about Damian giving her up like a pet or toy. If I were her, I would leave these brothers all together.
I am always amazed at how well the recraps are done and so quickly. Thank you for that.
I have a question to all. I have watched about 5 or 6 telenovelas and have never seen so many characters killed off.
My son and I have counted at least 7 in this novela. Like maybe the writers think they are too nice and boring or just can't figure what to do with the character and just murder them off.
So I was wondering if anyone else has noticed so many deaths in one novela.
I agree that Padre is probably next on the hit list. (I really did expect him to switch to plaid...but instead put a nice black scarf with a sparkle pin at his neck instead.)
Keep up the good work all you brainy recrappers!
Love it.
Peace to all, Tiempe.
Now that the show is in its final stages, does this mean that this website will no longer be showing all of the chapters?
Thank you so much for any information you can pass on!
I believe that there are 161 capitulos scheduled for Abismo. As long as there are episodes, we recappers will be recapping.
It is so great to hear from new readers. Please join us often and comment.
Elna June (EJ)
Yes, a lot of us have shuddered at the high mortality rate in La Ermita. Clearly, it's a very dangerous place to be. :)
Not all novelas are as murderous, as you've noticed.
The "comic" novelas may include some pretty brutal stuff but not nearly as many deaths as Abismo.
Then there are the more realistic melodramas like "Para volver a amar" that also have a much lower body count.
But there is a type of melodrama that pits extreme evil -- the devil in the flesh -- against good. And this type of novela usually comes with a frighteningly high body count.
It's a strange kind of form, when you think about it: on one level it's a fairytale romance and we all expect something approaching a happy ending for at least a few of the characters; but on another level, it's more like a tragedy in the classical sense where everyone dies in the end, including (especially!) the good guys. (The telenovela version of tragedy doesn't go quite that far, but it comes pretty close.)
By the way, I'm sorry but I still had to put my fingers in my ears when you talked about Lupe being the next victim. Noooooooooooooo!!!!
-------------------------------
Anon, to add to what Elna June just wrote, I'm pretty sure NovelasySeries will keep updating the videos on their site but there's usually a delay from the date the episode is aired and the date it shows up on the website. (Too bad. Telemundo does a much better job of keeping their site up to date.)
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