Sorry the post is so late. Some of this may not be a part of the first 10 minutes of the show, but I included it anyway. I will be back on line tonight (PST) if anyone would like to chat. I have to do homwork at Barnes and Noble. P.S. This is long and has not been editted yet.
Elisa wants Don Lucio to ask the lawyer to draw up some paperwork for her partnership with Looks Hella Dam Gorgeous in Black (I tried not to lick the screen, but I was unsuccessful). Don Lucio is elated! He knows that she’s only doing this because she’s in love with Damien and doesn’t want to see him go down in flames. Elisa agrees, but she would also like to see Alfonsina drop dead of heart failure when she learns that Castanon-Bouvier is part owner of her precious procesadora.
Hacienda Arango: Damien tells Alfonsina that he’s found an investor. Alfonsina wants to know where the money is coming from. Dam gives her a cryptic answer about recovering something that he lost long ago. Dam Fine tells his mother to stay out of the company’s business. He’s in charge now and any decision that he makes is to keep the company out of bankruptcy. Alfonsina points out that it’s a family company and she doesn’t want any riffraff involved. Dam excuses himself by saying that he has to take a shower (Please let there be a shirtless scene! Please let there be a shirtless scene!). Dam’s got plans tonight! Alfonsina doesn’t appreciate being abandoned. Dam offers to hire a nurse or a male escort (I don’t make this stuff up, folks! OK, maybe I do…so what’s it to ya?) so that she won’t be alone. Dam says that he has a right to have a life outside of these walls. Alfonsina says that she needs her baby. She wants to know who he’s going out with. Elisa is his date, he says and he plans on marrying her. Get used to it, sister. Alfonsina says that if that ever happens she will make Elisa’s life hell. If what she did before wasn’t making Elisa's lifehell, I don’t want to see her definition of hell. Goodness.
Yucateco Elisa’s Office: Elisa asks Carito to contact Carmina. Don Lucio explains that Carito needs to make an appointment to purchase the ranch this week. Carito doesn’t think there will be a problem; Carmina is desperate and will accept the conditions. Carito calls Carmina; she’ll come with a notary in the morning. Carmina wants to know if Carito has a certified check with watermarks. Carmina explains to Carito that Elisa owns 25% of the property and Elisa will have to sign the paper work as well. Carito says not a prob. She will even reschedule with the notary in the afternoon so that they can speak with Elisa first. Elisa praises Carito’s acting skills and says that she doesn’t think that Carmina will ever figure out that Elisa is behind this. She tells Carito to negotiate hard so that Carmina doesn’t suspect anything and Carito ends up having an unfortunate accident with a gun, a log or a knife shoved up her back.
Downtown La Ermita: The happy newlyweds are strolling towards Dr. Tovar’s Office. Paloma wants her job back with Dr. Tovar; unfortunately, Florencia has not been fired for incompetence yet. Being good-looking can still get you far in this life. Paloma doesn’t believe that Dr. Tovar can afford to pay two hot nubile “employees” who can’t type or read good. You’re married now and live in the lap of luxury, says Gall. He tells her that she doesn’t have to work. Paloma says that she wants to feel useful and needed. Gall doesn’t kiss, hug or have sex with her since he’s sworn to be faithful to Elisa. So, basically, Paloma wants to return to “work” because she’s horny (that’s what she said! I’m just paraphrasing, geez!) Enrique should be more than willing to do the job, if he’s still interested. Due to a sudden brain aneurism that struck her stupid, Palobotomy suggests taking her husband on a double date with the woman that he's enamored with and the man that he wants to kill on sight. It will be great times, she says! You can lust after Elisa and I can whine and pout because you are lusting after her! After dinner, you and Dam can dual to the death over the love of Elisa. Gall says that he has to work at the greenhouse and suggests that Paloma go on the date alone with Looks Hella Dam Gorgeous in Black.
Yucateco: Don Lucio and Braulio discuss the problems with the machines that Vincente vandalized. Don Lucio says that the technician gave a bad prognosis about the machines. Braulio is grateful that two of the three can be repaired. Braulio says that he will personally supervise the machine operators from now on. Don Lucio wants to know if the police have located Horacio yet. Braulio thinks that Horacio bounced from La Ermita or Gabby’s hiding him. Lucio wants to know what Braulio meant when he says that Horacio had another death on his conscience. Braulio tells Lucio that Horacio might have been under orders to set the fire that killed Blanca (Lucio’s wife).
Casa de Castanon: Gabby’s home! Unfortunately, his shirt is buttoned and he is decently dressed on my episode. Maldista writers! Carmina greets him at the door with a kiss. She’s stoked that Carito is coming to buy the property. She tells Gabby that the sale will go through if Elisa doesn’t screw it up. Gabby announces that he also has a buyer for his house. Carmina wants to know where they will live. They are going to move back in the Love Shack! Baby Love Shack! Carmina doesn’t want to live in the Love Shack! Baby Love Shack! She wants to travel with the proceeds. Gabby wants to stay in La Ermita. He knows that they will blow through their money in less than a year and they are not smart enough to live by their wits. Once Gabby becomes a shareholder in the Procesadora, he will get rid of Dam Cutie Pie and his mother.
Yucateco: Lucio wants proof that Horacio killed Blanca. Braulio says that he doesn’t need proof; he just hates Horacio. He knows that Horacio and Gabby are big time road dogs and he suggests that Lucio request another investigation into the death of Blanca. Lucio thinks that the police will deny it for lack of evidence. Besides, Lucio doesn’t believe that Horacio could rent a cheap apartment and business space from him knowing that he killed Blanca. Horacio would have to be soul-less. Braulio thinks that if Horacio could marry Lolita and not tell her that he was a criminal, he could also deceive Lucio.
Hacienda Arango: While sitting on her bed fondling her rosary, Alfonsina has a flashback of her conversation with Guido when he was in jail. She tells him that only one man has ever tricked her and he’s dead. Guido scoffs and tells her that Gabino takes advantage of her all of the time. Alfonsina then remembers a conversation with Gabino when he tells her consider the embezzled money his severance pay for his years of loyal service. Gosh, he looked so hot in that zebra chair. During the flashback, Alsonsina points out that Gabby wasn’t very loyal since he had been secretly hooking up with Ingrid. Back in the present, Alfonsina vows to destroy Gabby and make him wish that he’d never been born.
Dr. Tovar’s Office: The two pitiful sex kittens are sitting on the bench. Paloma asks if the Dr. told Florencia that Paloma wants her job back because she’s horny (I swear that’s what she said!). Florencia tells Paloma that she will step aside if she wants her job back. Paloma says that she would never take the job since she’s the one who helped Florencia get it. Paloma’s just there to let Enrique stare adoringly at her and tell her how much he wants her. She goes on to say that Gael told her that she doesn’t have to work (not that she worked before, but you know what I mean). Florencia wants to know how the honeymoon went. Florencia says that the honeymoon was a disaster! Gael has sworn a vow a celibacy in honor of St. Elisa now that he is married to me. Florencia says that things will change when the baby arrives. Men like to be trapped with babies, says Florencia. Have patience. See how well it worked out for me?
Casa de Don Lucio: Lolita tells Elisa that she is afraid that she may run into Horacio on the street or he may break into the house again. Elisa says that Horacio’s not stupid (I beg to differ), because he knows that the whole town is looking for him. Lolita agrees with Carmina. If Horacio was capable of killing a priest, he was capable of killing Agosto as well. Lolita feels guilty for bringing Horacio to the Casa Castanon. Elisa says that she will never blame Lolita for her father’s death. Elisa wants to change the subject.
Dr. Tovar’s Office: Paloma thanks Florencia for listening to her. She could never talk to Elisa about this. OK, so Dr. Tovar finally comes out of his office. He tells Florencia that he’s done with patients for the day. Ummmmm shouldn’t Florencia be telling him that? Paloma asks the doctor if she can return to work. She understands that he may not be able to afford to pay the salaries of two unproductive hot babes, but she’s willing to take a pay cut. Dr. Tovar tells her that he would love for her to come back to work. Her new job will be to sit at another desk in her bikini and bend over for pencils for the male patients. Besides, it will cheer up his son.
Casa de Don Lucio: Lolita brings out a gift box and sets it on the dining room table. It’s from Damien. Elisa feigns outrage! How dare he think that she’ll go out to dinner with him just because he sent her a gift! Personally, Cynderella is easy. All he’d have to do is show up and knock on the door and my old copy of “The Rules” book would be set aside. If he showed up without a shirt, just call me Skankerella, because he would be escorted to my bedroom immediately! No gifts or commitments are expected or necessary. Ahem, back to the recap: Elisa declares that she will not go to dinner with Damien. Elisa refused to open the gift, so Lolita does. Lolita looks into the box and tells her how beautiful the gift is. Curiosity gets the better of Elisa and she grabs the box. It’s a big conch shell. On the note, it says something like “So you can hear the sea and always remember the night that we spent together”! Ya see, this is why I can’t be around Damien! He’d be begging to be let out of the bedroom. It’d be me and Paolo in the same cell! Ahem! Sorry again. Back to the recap. It’s way more important than my inner voice. Elisa puts the shell up to her ear to hear the sea. She says that the only thing that she remembers about the sound of the sea is that Damien broke her heart after she lied to him and told him that she’d slept with Gall. Really, it's his fault for believing her.
Originally the Casa de Gael and Elisa (if Damien hadn’t kidnapped her), but now is the Casa de Gael and Paloma: Gall is having a flashback of the day when Padre Lupe gave him a large manila envelope and told him not to open it without him. Side note: don’t judge me, but I was so happy when Padre died. I was going to barf if I had to see one more of those ugly ascots and during the flashback, he’s wearing a red one. Apparently Gall doesn’t understand that the ex-padre is dead and he is never coming back. It’s OK if he opens the envelope without Lupe now. Gall is holding the envelope in his hand, but sets it aside when Paloma comes home. Paloma tells Gall that Dr. Tovar hired her back and she needs to get her bikinis dry cleaned. Paloma wants to know how it went at the greenhouse. Gall said that things went badly. He has to go back to work tonight because the sprinklers broke down. They have to be fixed or else they will lose the entire harvest. Palobotomy reminds Gall that they have a double date with his soul mate and the man who stole her from Gall. Gall reminds her that he doesn’t want to go. Palobotomy attempts to talk him into it again. Besides, he has to get back to work. He suggests that she go as a third wheel. Paloma decides not to go and says that she and Gael will have a nice romantic dinner at home. Gall says that he doesn’t know how long it will take. Paloma says that she will wait up for him. She tells him not to take too long.
Casa de Don Lucio: Dam Hellava Sexy Looking Man in a Black Suit has arrived to pick up Elisa for their date. He wants Paloma to tell Elisa that he is there. Lolita nervously lies and tells Damlicious that Elisa has not returned from work yet. Damien suspects that Elisa is hiding because she doesn’t want to see him. I want to see you Damien! San Diego California is only 30 miles from US/Mexican border. Call me! Hmmmmmm, it seems that I’m not the only one who’s easy pickins’ for Dam Fine. Elisa appears out of nowhere and says that she is not hiding from anyone. She’s all dressed up with make-up on. Dam Flirt tells her that she’s beautiful. I hate Elisa. She gets everything.
Former Casa de Gall and Eliar/Present Casa de Gall and Palobotomy: Finally, the voice of reason has arrived! Ramona wants to know why a newly married young man is not at home boinking his wife who can easily pass for a bikini model. Again, I am only paraphrasing. That is clearly what she said. Palobotomy says that Gall should be home shortly. Ramona notices that the house is clean. Ramona hopes Gall doesn’t mind that Paloma invited her to dinner. Paloma tells her grandmother that she’d rather be alone with her husband and basically asks her grandmother to leave and come back another day. Grandma understands. Grandma says that she’s lonely and can’t get used to living alone in the cabin. She’s worried about Paloma. Paloma says that she’s fine and she’s getting used to married life. Ramona again points out that Gall is newly married, yet he is not home “taking care of business”. Paloma tells Ramona that Gall left because of a problem at the greenhouse. She stayed home to make dinner. Ramona informs Paloma that she passed the greenhouse and it was all locked up. There wasn’t a soul there. Your man lied to you, girl. Pack your bags and come back home to grandma. Palobotomy tries to cover for him and says that Gall must have been on his way there. Palobotomy chides Ramona for putting ideas in her head about Gall. She asks her grandmother to help her set the table. Ramona smells something burning.
Cemetery: The world’s dumbest criminal has a flashback of his conversation with Dolores. She yells at him: Your fingerprints were on the knife, they had your hair samples, your fingerprints were on the priest and you had his blood on your hands. Dolores tells him that she believes that he may have killed Agosto. Horacio begs his wife to trust him. She tells him that she will trust him when he turns himself in to the police. He says that he’s not that crazy. She grabs the phone, and he grabs it from her and cold cocks her. He calls himself and idiot. Ya think?
Casa de Don Lucio: While sitting at the table with Dolores, Lucio remembers his earlier conversation with Braulio. Braulio tells him that he believes that Horacio killed Blanca under Gabby’s orders. Dolores wants to know what Lucio is thinking. Lucio lies and says that he is thinking of Dam and Elisa. They have to try to get those two back together. Dolores informs them that the two went out on a date. Lucio says that now that Damien and Elisa are going to be business partners, they will be together all of the time. Dolores didn’t know anything about the business deal. Lucio tells Dolores that Elisa will soon own half of the Procesadora. Dolores doesn’t think that it’s a good idea since Elisa hates Alfonsina’s guts. Alfonsina will take it as a punch in the face and Dolores doesn’t want to be there when Alfonsina punches back. Don Lucio says that it’s a good thing. If they are in business together, no one will be able to separate them. His theory is that if Elisa is part owner, Alfonsina will have to accept their marriage so that everything stays within the family. Dolores still isn’t convinced.
Hacienda Arango: Is everyone going to have a flashback today? Geez. I’ve had it! Alfonsina remembers Damien’s promise that Elisa will come through those doors as his wife. She then recalls the day when Elisa said that she would make Alfonsina pay for trying to destroy her family. In the present, Alfonsina says that she lost Lupe and Rosendo. She will lose Damien over her dead body.
Casa de Gall and Palobotomy: The table is set and Gall is still not home. Ramona comments that the food smells great. She says that Paloma never made her a dinner like that. Gramma, you don’t have a kick-stand (I swear that’s what she said), I mean an oven. You only have an old blender. Ramona tells her not to put the dinner on the table so soon. Gall might be later than she thinks and his food will be cold. Paloma informs her grandmother they she has moved up in the world. Paloma inherited the microwave that would have been Elisa’s had Damien not kidnapped her from the wedding. Paloma tells Ramona that she needs to get one for “her” cabin. Ramona takes offense at the “her cabin” remark and tells Paloma that she will be back in “their” cabin shortly. Paloma tells her grandmother to stop wishing bad things about her marriage. Ramona tells Paloma that it hurts her to know that Gall has left her alone in the house that he purchased for Elisa with dinner on the table. She rubs in that Gall may not come home tonight. Do we really know where Elisa is? Paloma tells her grandmother to leave. Gramma tells Paloma that she knows that the marriage is a sham. She tells Paloma to come home. Palobotomy won’t return to the shack on witch mountain because this is her house and Gall is her husband. She doesn’t need Ramona to take care of her anymore. Ramona says that she will go home. She tells Paloma to call her and tell her how the dinner went.
Cantina in Merida: Elisa and Dam Cutie Pie are having dinner. Apparently she has not said anything for the entire evening. He doesn’t realize that he has that affect of women. Just sit there and look pretty Dam. We don’t like you for your conversation. He thanks her for accepting his invitation. He asks her if she liked his present. Yes, I liked the snail of the sea. Is he still talking? Geez, all this could have been cleared up if he showed up with his shirt off and in a nice towel. That would have reminded her of their time on the sea too. He’s happy that he got something right. They toast their business partnership. With a straight face, she tells them they will have a business relationship only. Damien plays along. In his head, he gives her two weeks before he has her back in his bed. She tells him that there is no way that they will ever get back together and she won’t marry him. He tells her that the only way that he will not waste his time is by being with her. He unbuttons his shirt a little more and lets her live her fantasy. We all know that all he has to do is breathe on her and her panties will fall off. All of a sudden Elisa plants a kiss on Damien. When she pulls back, he tells her that she’s a tease. Stop confusing me. I’m trying to be a good boy and let you keep your dignity until we get back to my car or at least until I undo the last button on my shirt. She explains that Gall is behind him. She thinks that Gall is simply there to find out if they are really together. Damien says, you call that a kiss? Here’s a kiss that he will believe! Damien proceeds to kiss her senseless. Damien gives her a kiss that she feels down deep in her ummmmm toes. Damien is the one that has to break that suction. He asks if Gall is still there. She’s in a daze and feeling quite aroused. She assumes that Gall is still there and locks on to Damien’s lips again. Once again, Damien has to tear her away from his lips. Clearly she has forgotten the purpose of the kiss. He checks behind him and tells her that Gall is no longer there. She pulls herself together and yells at him for kissing her like a man. She accuses him a taking advantage of her by using his perfect body and lips to make her kiss him back. She wants him to apologize for kissing her like he meant it. Damien says that if she needs kissing again, he will be happy to oblige. Just says the word. I admit it. I threw my bra at the screen, which is very disturbing to other patrons at Starbucks.
Downtown Merida: Gall is having a flashback. What a surprise. It was the night of Operation Must Touch Large Boobies otherwise known as Agosto’s Funeral to those who are keeping track. Gall and Elisa were literally standing on her mother’s grave and Gall was macking on Elisa. He kissed her on her dead mother's grave and that takes gall. Gall told a tearful Elisa that he planned on taking her to a special place for their first kiss. He’d been planning to touch those boobies since he was 15 years old. Go back and review the transcripts…I mean recap. Gael also remembers seeing Damien kissing Elisa blind in the Cantina.
Casa de Don Lucio: Paloma tells Elisa that she’s happy she’s back home safely. Damien has been known to kidnap people at gunpoint and they are out of Tostachos. Why tonight, we didn’t even have a product placement and Don Lucio was forced to choke down an ordinary meal during his scene. Don Lucio was so worried that he’s gone to bed. Elisa says that she made a mistake by going on a date with Damien. Did he touch you? Damien took advantage of me. He sucked my lips off and made me call him daddy. Lolita wants to know if they fought over her. No, not this time. Gall was spying, so Damien took advantage of the situation my putting a hurting on me in the bar. Dolores rightly says that Damien left Elisa wanting more. Dolores tells Elisa to accept that Damien will have her naked by the end of the fortnight and stop trying to fight it. Girl, I stopped trying to fight him months ago.
Hacienda Arango: Damien walks in with a frown on his face. Hmmmmm Elisa may prove to be a harder mark than Cynderella after all. His mother rubs it in his face. Next time show up in a towel Damien. It’s better than a sea shell. She’ll get the hint.
Casa de Don Lucio: Dolores wants to know why Elisa decided to go into business with Damien. Is it revenge against Alfonsina. No, says Elisa, although I really would like to see her drop dead after finding out that I own have of her company, I really do want to help Damien. His uncle just died and he’s sad. Yeah, that’s the reason. She says that she feels responsible for the Procesadora going down because she recruited all of his former employees and she stole all of his customers. Well, now that she put it that way, it is her fault.
Casa de Gall and Palombotomy (See Below for Revised American Wife's Version of this Scene): Gall comes into the house and sees his cold dinner on the table. He goes into the bedroom and calls Paloma’s name. She pretends to be sleep. He takes off his shirt. Clearly, he needs to lift some weights and do a couple of sit-ups. The next morning Paloma greets Gall coldly. She offers him a cup of coffee. **He tells her that she was asleep when he returned. Gall lies and tells her that he had a lot of problems at the greenhouse.* * Paloma informs him that Ramona came over last night and Ramona told her that the greenhouse was empty. Paloma complains that she set a pretty table for him and cooked him a nice dinner. Gall asks for forgiveness. Palobotomy realizes that Gall doesn’t want to be with her. He asks if he still thinks of Elisa. Gall assures her that he will never cheat on her. Paloma gently touches his temple and tells him that he cheats on her in his mind.
Yucateco: Braulio tells Lucio that they have to get to work because they lost an entire day due to the machine vandalism. Lucio asks where Vincente is. Braulio says that he must have overslept. He should be on his way now.
Downtown La Ermita: Vincente is upset that Gabby sold his hacienda. Vincente had dreamed of living there and inheriting it one day. Gabby is OK with it. He lost a lot of money on that property. Gabby says that once he becomes part-owner in the Procesadora, he will return it to its former greatness. Vincente agrees that no one can run that company the way Gabby did. Vincente tells Gabby that he has vandalized three of the machines at the Yucateco. Gabby gets pissed and smacks the hell out of him. He told Vincente to do it little by little. Not all at once. Now everyone will know that there is a mole in the building. Gabby tells him not to touch anything for three weeks.
Yucateco: Elisa comes beebopping into the building. She greets Carito with a kiss. Right then, Carmina walks in and wants to know how they are aquainted.
*Casa de Gall and Palobotomy American Wife Version: Gall enters the house and turns on the lights. He notices his cold dinner on the table. His pissed off pregnant wife, who cooked a nice meal, set the table and lit some candles for him has been waiting at the table in the dark. After looking into the face of his angry wife, Gall craps his pants. His wife calmy asks her husband where he’s been. Gall lies and tells her that there were lots of problems at the greenhouse. Liar, says pissed off wife! My grandmother was here and told me that all of the lights were off at the greenhouse. You’ve been thinking of Elisa again. Gall is rushed to Dr. Tovar’s home to have skillet handle surgically removed from one of his orifices.
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