Friday, October 12, 2012

Abismo de pasión #147 10/11/12: Yo ex padre, is there an amulet for that?


Tonight's recap brought to you by J.A. Henckels.

OK folks, we’re all settled on The Patio with our yellow bandanas and pitchers of Harvey Wallbangers. No more of that noisy chair scraping please, however comments and howls from the peanut gallery are encouraged. El mesero will be passing around baskets of overripe bananas for our throwing pleasure.

Let’s see, where did we leave off last night? Marta, remind us please: “Gabino visits Alfie and fakes being happy she is fine after her crisis. Gabino reminds her that they have a pending deal, he still wants to be associated to the procesadora. Will do anything to get that. Alfie asks how far would he go to get it. Gab offers to make Elisa stop breathing.. (and stop crying too?? That does not sound THAT bad)”

Gracias amiga, now on with tonight’s tonterías...

Alfonsina flips her fan at Gabino in disgust. She will take care of Elisa on her own, sola. Gabino claims all his years of being head guy at the ProCe will be of help to her. He can break Elisa and bring Alfie back to the top. Bah, she sniffs, he just plays dirty and his liabilities outweigh his benefits. Gab pulls out his big gun. (No, you dirty-minded girls at the back row table. Not THAT big gun.) He tells Fina if she doesn’t deal with Elisa then she will lose everything. She will lose Dam to Elisa the same way she lost Rosendo to Estefania. (Huh? But Dam’s not her...oh never mind. Hand me a banana.)  She will end up with nada. Fina fanatically  flips her fan and says she’ll think about it.

Lupe is still wearing all white like he’s practicing to be an angel. Elisa and Lucio show up and she blathers annoyingly about the gift of Estef’s fancy new grave. Lupe says he has many Very Important things to tell Elisa in front of said grave. Not important enough to tell right now of course, but important enough to put off until 4:00 this afternoon for reasons only a monkey can fathom. The Patio is in an uproar and Blue Lass starts hammering out  sympathy cards for Abismart.


Carito is at Casa Castanon trying to fool Carmina into thinking she’s interesting in the property. Clearly she’s going to be a rotten liar because she looks guilty as hell at Carmina’s questions about her personal life. Carito finally turns the tables and asks why Carmina wants to sell such a lovely house in this charming town. Too many painful memories says the TangelHo, and she treats us to the horrible flashback of when she shot Assgusto.

In the office, Carmina sets her purse down and the knife almost flies out but Carito doesn’t see it. Carmina has another flashback of drunk Assgusto telling her to get her orange butt out of his house. Isn’t Carito hearing the Doo Doo DOO Doo music yet?

Over at Harangue-O Gab practices his parenting skills by opening a beer for Chente. (“Pick up your beer caps you slob!” someone yells from the Patio.) He says they have to step up the plot against Elisa’s ProCe and can he trust Chente with the job? Chente proceeds to loudly describe how Gabino embezzled all that money from the ProCe and managed to blame it on Guido Landicci [sic] and Chente never blabbed about it to anyone. Of course Alfie has wandered by and has heard every word.

Alfie goes into the salon and tells Antonia to tell Gab to stick around for a while. Tonia is pithed to hear he’s with Chente and she storms off. Alfie tells Lupe again how happy she is to have him in the house but she can see that something is bothering him. He wants to talk to her about something Very Important. Amazingly he says he wants to talk now (as opposed to 4:00 p.m. for example).

Bam bam bam! Someone knocks on Braulio’s door and Lolita freaks because her hair is down which obviously means she had hot animal sex all night long. It’s Dam and he looks slightly embarrassed when he sees Lolita. Obviously he got the long hair = hot sex memo. She tries a couple of lame excuses and even says “uh, yeah, I’m still wearing the same dress that I wore to last night’s wedding because I love it so much,”  but it’s dam clear that Dam knows exactly what went down in Braulio’s newly decorated love shack. (Mesero, another pitcher of drinks for Braulio’s table please, the ladies need cooling off!)

Over at Casa C the crazed violin music has begun. Carmina tries to make small talk with Carito but she keeps having wretched flashbacks of Assgusto at his assiest. (“Hey, who can blame him!?” cries the Augusto table.) OK, let the record show that even though Augusto’s methods left something to be desired, he was finally on the right track.

Dam runs his idea, about Elisa being a ProCe partner, by Braulio. Brau thinks it’s a good idea but Alfonsina will never suffer such an arrangement. Dam says he doesn’t care and he’s ready to face off against mommy. Braulio and the entire Patio roll their eyes.

Elisa wears a hole in Lucio’s rug pacing and waiting for Carito. She and Lucio hope Gael and Paloma are having a wonderful vacation. (The Patio erupts in snorts and snickers.)

Through the volley of bananas we see that Gael is in Cancun, trying very hard not to enjoy the perfect weather, warm breeze, and beautiful beach. The twit whines that Elisa should be with him on the honeymoon. Gosh he was THIS CLOSE to having her boobies all to himself, if only...”Gael”, titters Paloma’s dulcet voice. OMG, she is wearing, wait for it, a YELLOW BANDANA dress! Gael condescends to put his arm around her. What can we say about these two that hasn’t already been said? This short scene is the only torture they inflict upon us tonight.

Alfie tells Lupe she reacted badly when Lupe revealed Gael was his half brother. She knows Lupe did it to save Dam’s life and she’ll always be thankful. She hopes Lupe understands that Dam must always be his priority because he is Lupe’s legitimate nephew. Not like Gael who carries Ingrid’s bad blood in his veins. Lupe pops, Gael is also his family and he always will be. He also has Rosendo’s blood and legally both Gael and Dam have rights! Fina objects; she’ll never allow Dam’s fortune to be shared with anyone else, especially Gael. Lupe reveals that because she doesn’t know shite about the meaning of “secret” combination he was able to read Rosendo’s testamento.

Oh boy does that ever pith her off. She runs over to the safe and sees the testamento is gone. Lupe gets that Voice of Doom thing going on and growls that Rosendo’s will clearly states all his assets are to be shared equally amongst all his descendents. In short, “Rosendo left you nuthin’ sister.”

Gabino continues his parenting practice by instructing Chente how to sabotage Elisa’s Proce machines, one by one, over and over again until her habanero dynasty dies on the vine. Tonia finally shows up to yell at them and tell Gab that Alfie wants to see him.

Did I mention that Alfie is pithed? She asks Lupe not to show that testamento to anyone. Lupe and the entire Patio want to know exactly what document she desperately burned lo those many years ago. She says she’ll take that info to the grave and accuses Lupe of being the one who hides the truth. (“Guilty!!” yells the patio.) Lupe admits that’s true but now that he needs information and nobody comes to that faux confessional he built in the back yard he has decided that complete truth is his mission in life.

Gabino swaggers back into the house, listens through the closed heavy wooden door, and somehow manages to overhear Lupe tell Alfie that at 4:00 this afternoon HE PLANS TO MEET ELISA AT HER MOTHER’S TOMB to tell her all the secrets that have made her life full of injustice. He says if he sacrificed his priesthood to save Damian he is prepared to sacrifice himself for Elisa. (Gah!!!!) Gabino’s belt buckle busts in and breaks up the chat. As Lupe leaves Alfie looks him in the eye, “Take care of yourself.”  (EJ and Novela Maven join Blue Lass to help her out with the sympathy card project. The orders are already coming in.)

Lolita finally gets home where Elisa makes her tell all the delightful details of her night with Braulio. Lolita says it was as if she and Braulio were the only two people in the world. Elisa immediately makes the conversation all about herself as she describes her days of bliss at the beach with Dam. Lolita tells Elisa not to make the same mistake she did.  (“As if Elisa would ever sacrifice anything for a motherless child or anyone else!” snorts the Patio.)

Dam, Brau and Lucio are at the cafe where Dam thanks Lucio for his brilliant idea of Elisa investing in the ProCe Harangue-O. As soon as Elisa is as much an owner as Dam then Alfie won’t have any choice but to stop opposing Elisa and allow Dam to marry her because he doesn’t have the huevos to oppose mommy any other way. (“Fluffy logic!” screams the Patio, more than a little baffled.)

Elisa, crying of course, tells Lolita that she’s going to stop depending on men to rescue her from her sad life. Instead she’s going to rescue herself by getting to the bottom of what really happened to her parents. Lolita doesn’t tell her that if only Elisa would stop wailing about it and actually do something she would have known the truth long ago.

Alfie tells Gabino that Rosendo didn’t hire him out of the goodness of his heart, or because he saw potential in Gabino, or because he thought Gabino would ever be worthy of running the ProCe. The truth is that Alfie made Ros hire Gab to get him out of the house and away from that girl Remedios. And what is it with Gabino boinking all the help anyway? She writes down a price and says this is what it will take for him to be a partner in her ProCe. Gab's eye starts twitching when he sees the amount but Alfie says take it or leave it. Gab gives another speech about what an awesome manager he was and how he’ll pull the ProCe back up. And yes, he’ll get the money right after his head stops pounding.

Carito agrees to pay Carmina for the house in one payment because Carmina is keen to get the money in her hands.

The phone rings, Carmina answers it, her eyes bug out, she drops the phone, she grabs the homicide purse and runs out of the house.

Oh gosh, here it comes, the final scene. Mesero! A round of tequila shots please!

Guadalupe in white, in front of the pristine, white tomb, waits for Elisa. But it’s Carmina who shows up. Carmina admits that she hates Elisa with all her her soul. Lupe points out the obvious and Carmina admits OK, so maybe she doesn’t have a soul, and maybe that’s why she never wants Elisa to have the reward of knowing the truth about her innocent mommy. But everyone’s got a price so what is Lupe’s for keeping his pie-hole shut? She’s selling the quinta and has plenty of money.  “Don’t offend me!” he says in That Voice. She smashes a big, rubbery kiss into his face and he nearly hurls. She accuses him of not being a man if he felt nothing. Wrong, he says, he’s just not tempted by woman like her, so patética, grotesca y repugnante. Can’t she see how little worth she has? She only had her body to offer Rosendo and Augusto. (“And Doc Tovar, and Gabino, and Paolo!” hollers the Patio.)

Carmina’s eyes are really bugging out now because she’s shocked and pithed that the poontang thang didn’t work. Dang, it always worked before! Lupe tells her that Elisa, Alfie and the whole town will know the truth about her and boy oh boy will she ever pay big time because divine justice does exist.

“Oh yes, Guadalupe, of course it exists, I know it exists,” she hisses as she whips out the 10”  chef’s knife and plunges it into his back.

Shoot, it’s probably lethal even though it didn’t look like the knife went in that far. Ladies, how’s it coming with those sympathy cards?


Avances: Elisa and Dam find Lupe. Tia Carmina is accused.

Labels:


Comments:
Dear Sylvia:

I am verklempt. I am desolate. I am pithed. My only boyfriend in this TN has been left by Fluffy and friends lying in the cemetary, stabbed in the back, writhing in pain in the dirt while contemplating Divine Justice...for the whole weekend. What a dirty trick!

I will get on the greeting card and epitaph bandwagon after I mourn the loss of Rene Casados for a minute. Damn, I thought he was going to make it out if AdP alive.

My TV is covered in the drippings of overripe bananas plus my last two heirloom tomatoes from the garden.

Sylvia, thanks for recapping this worthless episode. ( Off-duty recapper shakes her head in dismay).

More in the AM.

Your desolate friend EJ


 

EJ, well at least Lupe went out in grand style with yet another meaty scene under his belt. I like to think that the ghost of Lupe will come back to haunt Carmina and drive her insane. I mean insaner.

Sweet dreams amiga.

 

I haven't been able to read most of the recaps this week but hope to catch up. Sincere thanks to all the recappers in advance.

J.A. Henckels? Snort, snort..

First, Sylvia's most sublime: "it’s dam clear that Dam knows exactly what went down in Braulio’s newly decorated love shack", "Obviously he got the long hair = hot sex memo" and my favorite "Gabino’s belt buckle busts in and breaks up the chat".

I so appreciate your excellent humor and razor sharp wit which you put to marvelous use in the recap.

Still. elna june, I grieve with you over the loss of Rene Casados. The car is on the tracks, the train is roaring, bearing down upon the car and yet, there is hope that somehow the disaster will be miraculously diverted. I was totally horrified.

Now I'm fearful that the despicable Chente will cause another tragedy with Braulio. Elisa will survive, but there are many others to worry about.

Diana (in mourning)




 

Getting to this right away because our computer has been on the blink again and I never know when it will go out...and stay out for hours.

First of all, thanks Marta for your recap yesterday. Couldn't comment because computer decided to die right then.

And oh no's, Guadalupe stabbed in the back. How could he turn his back on her!?

I'm making myself pick JUST ONE line out of this whole juicy array...

"Carmina grabs the homicide purse and runs out of the house"

Witty and informative and concise.

You're the pro, Sylvia. And you know how I admire your style and humor. Now pray with me that I can post this!


 

Thanks so much Captain Sylvia! That was rough, even though they telegraphed the heck out of it.

So it was all a product placement for JA Henkels? I admit when I first saw Carmina put that huge knife in her purse (other than it would cut her purse) my thoughts were it was top brand kitchen knife like my Wusthofs.

There is a reason I store my kitchen knives in a drawer, rather than in a butcher block on the counter. I have a carving knife and a fillet knife that are both definitely deadly weapons! They scare me when I use them!

Anyway, Padre Lupe made himself an oh-so-easy sacrifice, yelling his intentions for all the world to hear.
 

FLUFFY LOGIC! Now that's a keeper!

I'm in meetings for 6 hours today -- no, really -- so I probably won't have a chance to comment much, but I'll try to work on the sympathy cards when no one's looking. I haven't watched the epi yet, but this is one you want to hear about before you see for sure. So sorry you drew the short straw, Sylvia.

Now I suppose Gael will blame the monkeys for ruining his honeymoon.
 

This is insane in the extreme. Carmina has no limits and he knew it. Oh, well...

Karmageddon Poll

As with the one for LQNPA this will be posted daily until five episodes before the finale date. You need a Google account and a unique identity to vote so there will be no stuffing of the ballot boxes. You can change your vote any time up till the last day. There are multiple options per villain as a disfigured villain can also go mad or end up in prison.

This is a simplified poll and will have no further elements added.

Carmina, the TangelHo
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Gabino, the Sleazebag
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Horacio, the Unfortunate
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Alfonsina, the Botox Queen
Redemption
Asylum
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Chente, Sleazebag Jr.
Disfigurement
Prison
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Florencia, the Trust Fund Brat
Marriage
Work
Moves Away

BeGoneYa, the Trash Talker
Reconciliation with the doc
Banishment
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Suicide
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes

Padre Guadalupe (although this one could be moot)
Moves Away
Moves in with Damien and Elisa
Becomes Episcopalian and remains a Padre
Meets a good woman and becomes a padre
Death (choose one of the following)
-- Accident
-- Murder
-- Natural Causes
 

UA, I can't vote in the K-Poll because I've seen spoilers, but I do have a question -- is it for what people actually *think* will happen, or what they *want* to happen?
 

NO NO NO NO NO!!!

I chose to watch the debate instead last night, but I did so hoping Horacio would be saving Lupe over on the other channel and wondering how will Poor Sylvia deal with such a horrendous episode if our worst fears come to fruition.

So now I read that Horacio's bangs must have been in his eyes and didn't see what was going on, and the way that Sylvia helps us through is by letting us laugh first thing at the title. Of course we all looked around to make sure nobody heard us LOL upon reading the Demise of Lupe Recap.

With a heavy heart and thighs I head down to my elliptical and recording.

R la O Say It Ain't So


 

UA, I do have a google account, but am not sure how to access Karmageddon. Any 2 sentence answers that don't include the words Cut and Paste?
 

You know, even on Hulu+ first thing in the morning, it isn't any less painful to deal with this TN.But it's so fun to then go right in and have a chuckle over the brilliant recaps served up by our recappers. Salute you Sylvia for this gem.

So getting past the worthless honeymoon moments, Elisa's "hey I'm the focus of this TN" moments with, well, just about everyone she talks to, and the abomination that is Chente, the Padre ( hey he will be that to me always) stuff was pretty good. Of course, the monkeys pretty well telegraphed what was going to happen to the poor man, so no surprise. The whole 4:00 thing was soooooo trite, I mean really? Who does that in real life. Got something to say, say it. Hate when they pull that in a TN, but then this one does love those cliches.

So the gnashing of teeth and endless tears over Padre will besiege our ears soon. Watch, somehow, Boobette will still make this all about her. Can't wait....
( no, seriously, can't wait. One more episode means we are getting closer to the end.)

Tequila shots for the good angel Guadalupe.
 

I was flipping channels, saw Lupe with the evil orange one and knew I'd better watch. Loved how he told her what a worthless thing she was.

Judy B., you asked how he could turn his back on her? He didn't, she just reached around him and shoved the knife in. Not sure how she was able to get enough force from that angle.

This was a great recap, loaded with juicy bits (no, not the rotten bananas, the words!)

La Paloma
 

Cap'n SylviaYo - What can I say? You had me with your title: "ex padre, is there an amulet for that?" Yet another superb, snarkalicious recap that is far more satisfying than the episode itself. !!!Milliones de gracias!!!

I must have been exhausted by last night, because I kept dozing off, even during the final knifing scene. Gah. Well, I knew it would happen because of all the anvils and Carlos the doctor's prognosis --- white suit + huge butcher knife = KILL ME NOW. (lol)

Carmina's crazy faces at the cemetery were giggle-worthy. How many hours did she spend in front of a mirror to practice those?

I wonder if Gabs has another grave dug next to Ingrid's?
 

La Paloma - Padre will die from the knife wound, no matter how lame that was, because he knows he is in a telenovela, wearing white suit, and has on his telenovela beanie hat.
 

Sylvia!! congrats!
a recap for the ages! you deserve a medal for taking on this one and delivering a masterpiece, sis!! A Toast to our Cap'n!!

Some of my favs... and comments.
Lupe wearing all white like he’s practicing to be an angel…. The Patio is in an uproar and Blue Lass starts hammering out sympathy cards for Abismart

There were CERTAINLY more than anyone’s share of horrible flashbacks in Carmina’s head… eh… conscience while getting used to the idea that she will sell that quinta away.

Dam… looks slightly embarrassed… Obviously he got the long hair = hot sex memo…

Gael is in Cancun, trying very hard not to enjoy the perfect weather...

(OMG, she is wearing, wait for it, a YELLOW BANDANA dress!(ROFLOL!!!)

Lupe reveals that because she doesn’t know shite about the meaning of “secret” combination….

Elisa immediately makes the conversation all about herself…

(“Fluffy logic!” screams the Patio, more than a little baffled.) [yeah I never got the sure bet either…]

he’ll get the money right after his head stops pounding.

phone rings, Carmina answers, her eyes bug out…she grabs the homicide purse and runs out

Oh gosh, here it comes, the final scene. Mesero! A round of tequila shots please!

(that was great acting on Sabine, you could see her blood boiling inside as he kept banging her spirits with every word that came out of his mouth.

Carmina’s eyes are really bugging out now because she’s shocked and pithed that the poontang thang didn’t work. Dang, it always worked before! (I am applauding Sabine on the acting... you could tell how her blood was boiling to the point of internal combustion.)


IF that was indeed a 10 or 12 '' butcher's knife, at least she had good aim... right center of back probably straight to heart... i was even surprised Elisa and Dam found him alive in previews... those stabs are instant killers.
like getting shot right through the heart.

RIP Loopy... now i hope he can hint Elisa/Dam something useful before he breathes his last...
But this is a TN where DrT has pulled miracles, would not be surprised he is around the cemetery too and keeps Loopy alive until they take him to the centro de salud... i have to say i was laughing rather than crying last night...
 

Oh,,, about Lupe having that appointment at ... wait for it ... 4 p.m. at the cemetery. This is either a telenovela rule or an AdP rule. Remember Blanca? She had an appointment for later in the day (was it 4:00 p.m. also?), at such time she was going to blow the whistle on Carmina really being the one supposed to run off with Rosendo.
We all know what happened to HER.
 

So, it's all going to come down to Ramona, isn't it? Padre better get some truths out before he makes his way to the Pearly Gates. (I wonder if there will be a hot brunette in 1930s garb waiting for him on the other side, like in CME?)

I am getting really upset about this particular plot device, because it has been used SOOOOO much in this one tn. Blanca, Kenia, Agusto, Ingrid, now Padre. All bumped off just before they could reveal the truth. My problem with Ramona being the last truth teller standing is not just that she is so darned reluctant, but also that she knows even less of the truth than the others did. All she really has are Stefi's last words, which are kind of cryptic. She saw a blonde woman arguing with Rosendo once, but never seemed to be able to confirm that it was Carmina, and not Stefi. She suspects/has a feeling it was Carmina, but no real proof.

The people who knew about the tickets (Kenia/Ingrid) are gone. The person who has the confessional admissions of guilt is about to bite the dust.

So it's going to take real detective work on the parts of the remaining good people to pull the pieces of the puzzle together. We have see that these folks are crap detectives who can't stop navel gazing long enough to solve their way out of a paper bag.

Will our grave digger emerge from the shadows to share his knowledge?
 

Two chances left: Doc T could pull off the miracle, or Ramona could come by and plug up the wound with guac. We have to wait until Monday to find out!

Besides this tragedy, I found my recording didn't work on Weds ep, so I missed seeing Lolita let her hair down. Thankfully Marta gave a good description in her recap.


 

This is where Begonia needs to host a gossipy luncheon. If all the players got together for a gabfest, they'd have enough pieces of the puzzle.

Hopefully Quiqui won't sit in the middle of it crying.
 

Abismo Death List

Remedios Gonzalez -death in childbirth

Rosendo Arango -car accident

Estefania Bouvier de Castanon -car accident

Blanca Elizondo -homicide (Horatio by orders of Gabino)

Kenia Jaso -homicide (Carmina)

Augusto Castanon -homicide (Carmina)

Senora Beltran -homicide (Gabino)

Guido Landucci -homicide (Ingrid)

Ingrid Navarro -homicide (Gabino)

Paolo Landucci -homicide (Gabino by orders of Carmina)

Guadalupe Mondragon --Homicide? by Carmina (since he's still alive per the avances but not for long)


People who know part of the truth:

Ramona...knows Estefania was NOT the one she spied creeping out of the Blue House of Shame with Rosendo

Elisa...knows Estefania locked up Carmina the night of the accident but doesn't know why...knows the Blue House of Shame was never in Estefania's name, but was in Carmina/Rosendo's name

Damian ...spied Carmina creeping out of the Blue House of shame several times

Gabino...knows Carmina was the one running away with Rosendo, had the tickets proving it, knows Carmina's baby was not Augusto's.

Edmundo...knows Carmina was pregnant before marrying Augusto.

Horatio...knows Carmina is the one who killed Augusto...I want to say he also knows Estefania's name was NOT on the plane tickets





 

Anon207- Great list! Ramona has always played coy about knowing just who was or wasn't arguing with Rosendo near the blue house. She has always just said it was a blonde woman, but never voiced certainty that is was Carmina or wasn't Stefi. But she does know Stefi's last words: "I had to stop THEM."
 

Vivi:

I could not agree with you more! How many times can they off the folks who know the truth? Ay ay ay.

I see no hope for Guadalupe, Doc Tovar or no Doc Tovar. I really wanted a little payoff for Viewerville with 'Lupe. If the once-happy priest had to be defrocked then how about rewarding him with lon life, the enjoyment of great nieces and nephews, and maybe a hot romance.

In this TN it looks a lot like the bad guys are winning but we are supposed to be satisfied that our four young doltish galans procreate and get married—in that order. Where is my emotional payoff as a Viewer? Huh??? I could care less about DamLisa and GaeLoma. Let them eat cake and give me more Braulio/Lolita, Lupe and Ramona. I don't need any more Carito and Alfie can just get a place in a locked-down home for delinquent suegras—out of our sight. Maru and Lucio should just get on with it. It is not like they have forever. I think Eric de C. is in his 80's! Poor Enrique will probably inherit the scheming witch Florencia and Doc Tovar will always be able to find someone who wants rescuing. Begonia should be eat a couple of habaneros and loose her voice.

Now I know I am just a grouchy old broad, but really. Vivi, you are a seasoned recapper and you are young—am I crazy?

What do you think?

Elna June


 

Here's my favorite line, although the entire recap was fantastic and funny.

'Lupe says he has many Very Important things to tell Elisa in front of said grave. Not important enough to tell right now of course, but important enough to put off until 4:00 this afternoon for reasons only a monkey can fathom.'

I think TN rule # 7 states: When a character has a big secret to reveal that will expose the bad guy, tell everyone that you have information but will reveal it later, thereby giving the bad guy time to kill you before being able to reveal it.

Why do they keep skipping Friday's episode? Don't they realize they are prolonging my agony to end this TN once and for all?
 

I wonder if Lupe was originally supposed to survive, but when the monkeys got the extension contract...well...

All I can say is KILLING OFF BELOVED CHARACTERS IS NOT A WINNING STRATEGY.
 

ITA EJ! You are reading my mind with your comments.
 

EJ-Love your rant. I couldn't agree more. I don't like anyone in this TN now. Even the good guys are starting to get on my nerves. This is not a good way to go into writing Monday's recap. I'm starting to boil.
 

BRING BACK THE HORSEY
 

Thanks for the recap! I just knew Lupe's end would come :( I wonder who the mystery caller was? I assume that person informed Carmina that Lupe was at the cemetery, but the only person who could've known that is Horacio, but he doesn't know Carmina's plan and supposedly no one but Alfie knows he is still hanging around. Interesting....

I'm sure Alfie will get a big surprise when she finds out Dam wants to ask Elisa to be his socia in the procesadora. Although I'm sure also that he will throw a hissy fit when he finds out Alfie wants Gab.
--TF
 

TF- I'm pretty sure it was Gabino who called her, since he heard Lupe's plan, and knows Carmina has been eager to shut him up permanently before he can blad her dirty secrets.
 

Audrey, I store my (numerous and deadly and very sharp) knives in a drawer too!

Blue Lass, that reminds me, I have a friend who is a veterinarian and I asked her about horses getting a cough. She said a cough could indicate any number of serious ailments that require immediate and long treatment. So Ramona was pretty smart about using a horsey cough as an excuse.

It does seem as if all the horses have disappeared. Maybe their contract ran out with the original ending and their agents refused to renew. If so then they have better agents than the humans.

EJ, great rant amiga. This stupid TN has really gone off its tracks.

Urban A, do you really have a poll because for some of those one answer isn't enough. For example on the TangelHo I would select Disfigurement, Asylum and Death.

Diana, I'm worried about Chente's collateral damage too, but I'm hoping he just accidentally kills HIMSELF so he can put us all out of his misery. Tonia will suffer but she already suffers daily.

Thanks for the great comments y'all. You guys rock!

Yep, I think Gab was the caller. Calling secretly from a rotary phone somewhere.
 

Thanks for the info on horsey-cough, Cap'n. I will file it away. ;}

And yes, let's hope Chente wins the Darwin Award by offing himself before he can reproduce.
 

Blue, I wondered that exact thing myself. There is really no point in killing off Lupe—we already know Carmina is an utterly evil murderess already. Having her stab Lupe the former priest in front of her sister Estefania's grave (he will probably bleed all over the white marble as well as his WHITE linen suit) is just vulgar dramedy.

Oh, I am a cranky one today...

EJ
 

UA: Please remind me.

Do I vote here in comments or go to a separate page? I remember voting on the comments page for LQNPA, I think.

For Carmina: I vote, disfigurement, prison, death by insane Prison Warden.

Elna June
 

Thanks for the recap, Cap'n Sylvia.

That Carmina gets on my nerves. I can't stand the way she kisses. One commenter said "she gave a rubbery kiss!!!" She hit the nail on the head! And I can't stand the faces she makes. She would have been great in silent films!!! LOL!

Ann-NYC

 

Hi Ann, you know who else would be great in silent films? Elisa. Then we wouldn't have to hear her sobbing about herself all the time. Paloma would be good in silent films too for the same reason.

EJ, I love "death by insane Prison Warden". Would that be before or after Carmina tries her rubbery kisses on him? Or her.
 

UA More Karmageddon...

Gabino: Prison (for life without possibility of parole) and horrid (accidental) death in earthquake that buries him alive for Days before he croaks.

Horacio gets 'death, suicide'; by throwing himself in front of a bullet aimed at Lolita or Elisa.

Alfie gets 'Asylum' at the HOME—the locked down 'Facilidad Para Las Suegras Terribles y Delincuentes'—FPLSTD.

Chente gets 'Death'; he is trampled by an angry horse. There is no saving this little shite!

Florencia gets 'Marriage'. Blech.

Begonña gets 'Banishment' at a work-farm. All her children reject her until she repents after a few year of breaking rocks (no gloves!)

Padre Guadalupe, well we know what happens to Guadalupe, and I am NOT happy about him getting, "Death, Murder' by Agent Orange.

Urban Anthropologist— So, I stuck to your categories and just added a little creative embellishment for your amusement.

EJ
 

Sylvia:

Don't you think Carmina's lips will miraculously un-plump after a few months in prison? I hear collagen has to be retouched pretty often. Is it possible that the prison warden would then be driven mad by Carmina's blandishments and dry thin-lipped kisses?

That's where I was going with THAT idea...

EJ
 

I thought it hilarious that Carmina thought that coming on to Lupe would work. He's called her every insult he can think of and she still thought to give it a try. And if he doesn't respond to him, it's because he doesn't like women,lol.
 

"I wonder if there will be a hot brunette in 1930s garb waiting for him on the other side"

Oh, would I love to see him in that get-up again. One of the neatest scenes ever.

EJ - I'm with you. I'm finding myself making excuses to turn it on at night and then just re-watch most days now on Hulu+ while having my morning coffee before work. FF comes in real handy. There really is no big Pay-off coming to be honest. They think they will give us one with the Elisa/Dam wedding and hook-up, but I really could care less.
 

EJ, I am all for Useless C dying, but I want him to die accidentally by his own hand while he is clumsily trying to sabotage something as per daddy's wishes. But if I can't have that then death by Amadeus (the horse not the composer!) would be a good second choice.

daisynjay, I'm sure you're right about the Dam Elisa wedding being the big "payoff". What a burn for us because we are so sick of those two. They are better than a sleeping pill.
 

Thanks for this great hilarious recap Sylvia.

"Tonight's recap brought to you by J.A. Henckels."

This cracks me up. That knife looked exactly like the Lovely Linda's favorite knife in our kitchen... hmmm... YIKES!

I have only seen the first half of this episode... I'll watch the rest when we get home this evening, but first I think I'll check and make sure that knife is safely put away. Does she really need something that long and that sharp to chop up a few potatoes?

Carlos
 

Actually, Lupe's death is a "good" thing, in that there's no way his death can be seen by the police as an accident, suicide, etc.

The police concluded Augusto killed himself with the shotgun.

The police concluded Guido slipped in the bath, hit his head and died.

The police concluded Kenia committed suicide from Augusto's rejection.

There's no way Lupe could stab himself in the back.

Plus I think I heard in the avances that somebody knows Carmina did it.
 

Oh no! What if they blame Horacio?
 

CathyX:

Boil away, good CathyX! Your last recap was a great one and you seemed a little pithed to me. Hahahaha.

I love your comment about Carmina and Lupe.In Carmina's sick little mind any man who does not jump her bones must be a misogynist. Do we think that Carmina is written as someone who is a bit, say, narcissistic?

EJ
 

Blue, it would kind of serve Horacio right. But you could definitely be right that if Horacio is discovered then Carmina will likely try to blame him for the stabbing. They showed Lupe gasping to Dam and Elisa on the previews. Will he actually tell who stabbed him even if it's with his last breath?
 

The only way Horatio could be blamed is if he discovers Lupe, Lupe sees him and tells Damian & Elisa he saw Horatio.

But remember, everyone in town (including Carmina) thinks Horatio is dead except Alfonsina, who knows he's alive. The police came to Lolita and told her Horatio got into a shootout with police and died in a fire.

Alfonsina could blame Horatio, but then she'd have to explain how she knew Horatio was alive and why she didn't say anything about. I don't think Alfie wants the shame of being hauled down to the police so I don't think she'd blame Horatio.


 

EJ- I noticed you are watching Amor Bravio too. What makes me mad about this TN and many like it is they treat the viewers like we're stoopid and simple. And we are supposed to just believe and go along with the inane stuff that happens, as if normal people would behave that way. What I love about Amor Bravio so far is they are treating the viewers like we aren't stoopid and they are making the story much more believable. Characters are behaving and reacting in normal ways. I haven't had to put a beanie on yet. I know that it's only on the 43rd episode, but if they were going to do bad by us, I think they would have started by now.
 

Don't tempt fate, Cathyx! The extension monkeys will be out of a job soon and could head your way!
 

Funny Blue Lass. I hope 10:00pm is past their bedtimes.
 

Hi Cap'n,

That's a good one...ha!ha!

Ann-NYC

 

"...death by Amadeus (the horse not the composer!) would be a good second choice." I would love to see Chente 'Mozart-ed' to death. Amadeus, the horse would just hate to get his beautiful hooves mucked up with Chente guts, so let's have the composer do it instead!

Loved it, Sylvia, thanks. The only, only thing I will miss about this tn is the recaps - priceless! ...and the comments. Y'all are the best!
 

Is Abismo on tonight? This recap was cute.
 

Cynderella, no it is not on tonight. Boo hoo, another week without an awesome Cynderella recap. I'm going through withdrawals! (Cue for me to cry like Elisa.)

Emilia, I was just thinking about you. We are having a cold snap and I just pulled out my custom Emilia beanie to wear to the store. In the interest of full disclosure I must admit that to me 62 degrees is cold. I know, I'm a wimp.
 

@Vivi: That makes sense since Gab is Carmina's trusted accomplice. Oh I wanna mention: why did Carmina try to seduce Lupe? That was a dumb move.
--TF
 

Sylvia, a filler episode which ended with the murder of one of The Patio's favorite characters, Padre Guadalupe. (I think he is beyond even the magic of Dr.T) Sylvia, you hit just the right tone by bringing a little levity to this sad episode. Thanks!

Carmina might have stabbed Padre Lupe, but he got in some lethal digs, "patética, grotesca y repugnante." Carmina, I hope these words ring loudly in your ears for the rest of your (short) life. Padre L, Carmina wounded you, but she didn't break your admirable character with her pathetic, cheap, degrading and disgraceful come-on.

Sylvia noted this in her recap but I want to point it out again.....Dam feels that if he brings Elisa into La Anita as an investor, his mother will PERMIT him to marry Elisa? Dam is a little long in the tooth to be asking for his mother's permission to marry anyone.
 

Sandy, I had to rewind the scene a couple of time to make sure, but Dam definitely used the verb permitir as you pointed out. That scene and (lack of) logic literally had me howling.

I'm not a fan of Alfonsina's but I am VERY impressed at how quickly she formed a plan to get her money back from Gabino. How much you guys want to bet that the price of the ProCe partnership is at least the amount that Gab embezzled from her? I can't wait to see her stick it to him. She must be getting more oxygen to her heart or something because she is rarin' to go at everyone and everything.
 

Emilia - Little A is adorable! What color is her hair? Do I see some auburn?
 

R la O, Yep, Aly is a redhead, with brown eyes. Both of her parents are redheads (with brown eyes) We get to see her again next weekend - YAY! She is three months old today. Time flies.

Sylvia, glad you are wearing your beanie. Heck, I've stretched mine all out of shape watching Abismo!
 

Sylvia, I was also impressed by Alfonsina's plan to squeeze Gabino dry. Remember too that she doesn't even *own* the pro-ce so has nothing to sell at any price.

I refuse to compose sympathy cards though I might mull over some "Hope you are feeling better after being knifed in the back and getting blood all over your new white suit" verses.

No Pit until Monday and there's poor Guadalupe teetering between life and death and a bunch of brachiating bozos in el DF get to decide. Bah.

However... I was thrilled by Carmina's Hulk-like transformation when Lupe rejected her labial assault and called her "pathetic" and "grotesque". She did the same thing before she killed Kenia, had Paolo killed and killed Augusto. I guess there are just certain things she's a little sensitive about.

Captain, you have lived up to our extremely high expectations. The Patio salutes* you.

*What's the deal with Gabino's gesture of salute to Alfie, where he touches his index finger to his brow and bows slightly -- he looks like a court castrato or something. It always cracks me up but I never thought to mention it before.
 

Yesterday, I said I was going to believe that my beloved Padre was not going to meet his maker.

I am trying to still believe today, but it looks like the Simians got the better of me... I still want to hope that Super Doc will somehow pull him through.

I don't know...I just feel so angry at this story today...downright angry. The only good thing in my book right now is the MATURE love between Braulio and Lolita. Those scenes between them have been so beautiful.

Who cares what happens to Elisa? Who honestly cares?! Who gives a rat's patooty about some stupid boda at the end. WHO CARES?!

Anyway...just Another Anon breaking into your close knit little group here to complain.

This show S.T.I.N.K.S.
 

Welcome Anon! We are a rather loosely knit group and all are welcome and encouraged to snark or just hang out.

Novela Maven, thank you for your kind words and your salute! Gabino's little salute is very weird. Castrato...snort! Leave it to you to provide the perfect description.
 

Cap'n, we're getting our first freeze here tonight. I'm just sayin'.
 

Gab's salute to Alfi is awkward because he isn't used to using his *fingers* to salute.
 

Sylvia thanks for allowing us to laugh so much when the event (the passing of our beloved ex-padre) and most of the other stories were quite terrible.
 

There seems to be a distressing telenovela habit of killing off (i.e. sacrificing) a beloved character near the end. It's terribly upsetting to the fans.

I SUPPOSE that it's a way of accentuating the evilness of the villains, but by that time in the plot, we already know the villains are very, very bad, as they have already committed numerous crimes.

At this late point it seems so unnecessary. I really wonder why the writers take the risk of making the fans so angry and disgusted.
 

I'm still upset that Antonio aka Beltbuckle was killed off at the end of el tal Talisman. Yes, he was a villain, but he was a nuanced and tortured soul, made villainous by the abuse of his father. I really wanted a redemption story. Unfortunately the monkeys writing that one had no imagination.

And that was nothing compared to how upset I am when GOOD characters in GOOD shows get gratuitously offed at the end. Ya basta.
 

Julia - but THE HAIR when he died was amazing!
 

Amores Verdades or Something like that will replace Abismo. I have been watching it on Televisa. El Talisman was Shakepearean compared to that TN. I keep watching it because I keep thinking it can't get any worse than this. Surely they are just setting up a plot. It gets worse by the minute. I do like Porque Amor Manda or something like that. It's cute.
 

Cynderella, thanks for the review. I couldn't stand El Tal for more than 3 episodes, so I guess I'll sit this next one out.
 

Blue Lass, first freeze? You mean it's colder than 60 degrees?

Cynderella, AV is a bust? Bummer and thanks for the heads up. Isn't Porque el Amor Manda the one with Fernando Colunga? I'm glad to hear it's enjoyable because I always have to watch Colunga's telenovelas if possible.
 

I am unable to fathom anything worse than El Tal, so I fear I will have to watch Amores Verdaderos just to make sure...

Yep, 30 degrees last night. Although I've had the electric blanket on since...late August, actually.
 

Blue Lass, save yourself the time and pick your bellybutton lent now. I can't put up spoilers, but I wish I could. I have never watched a Yanez TN, I like him and the Sabastian guy, but the TN is so dumb!
 

I took a peek at Amores verdaderos and I can tell you a few things about it:

The principal roles are played by ACTORS.

Someone is actually WRITING their lines.

There aren't any important MUMBLERS, at least not in the first 15 minutes.

And our beloved Braulio gets a chance to play a patán.

Con eso, me basta y me sobra.
 

Gosh, my belly button is already sparkling clean from these last few weeks of Abismo...

Anything coming down the pike you'd recommend, Cynderella? I still have a few more months of Amorcito to tide me over, anyway.
 

I may like AV, because I kinda liked El Tal. I especially like this timeslot. Of course AV may do like El Tal and end up in the noontime Slot of Shame after a few weeks.
 

Hmm...perhaps the pivotal question is, is there any chance the extension monkeys will end up at Amores? Coz I think we need some time apart.
 

BlueLass you are so funny. Your belly button is sparkling clean from watching abismo and you need time apart from the monkeys. You won't get time away from the monkeys on Monday, I promise.
 

I tried to watch the first two episodes of El Talisman, and could not bear to watch beyond the first 20 minutes.
I hope Amores Verdaderos will be watchable, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
 

Doris, the first few episode of Amores V are on youtube if you want to check them out.
 

Cathyx, I'm going to miss tonight's episode, but I'm sure the monkeyshines on the patio will trump the monkeyscript on the pantalla anyway.
 

THE HAIR was indeed a sight to behold. Truly, has any nefarious skeezebag ever looked better in his last moments?
 

Hi, all:

Anybody know if we are preempted tomorrow night?

EJ
 

EJ, I just checked both Tivo and TV Guide online and it looks like ADP, Amor Bravio and Refugio are preempted by futbol tomorrow night, at least in our area.

And no Julia, no nefarious skeezebag has ever looked better in his last moments, lol!
 

It was about the only time I really saw the *HEAT* in a meltdown scene.
 

just checked bright house schedule tomorrow. 1 1/2 hr of Por ella soy Eva and futbol. that's it. no refugio, no abismo and no AB.
Darn!! that means i have a DOOZY for an ep of Abismo to recap tomorrow! when Gael comes back home to bury his 'papa'padre'!! whaaaaaaa!!!! snif snif... good thing it interrupted the moment when Paloma finally got him going. I dont want Gael to get into it with Pal again for the wrong reasons... but maybe this shakedown with Padre's death will reveal something in his heart that will cause a real turnaround.
 

i mean recap on wednesday! duh!
 

i thought last friday they had announced ultimos capitulos and now (tonight)they reverted back to ultimas semanas!! these folks are confusing!!
 

poor Lucio keeps getting stuck doing the funeral arrangements of all his old friends (at least Dam helped him with his wife's)
 

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