Saturday, August 24, 2013
La Tempestad, cap 20, Friday, August 23, 2013: ¡A bailar, a gozar, que la vida se puede acabar!*
*Life is short -- eat dessert first.
Esthercita ousts Marina from La Tempestad and reclaims DamFab as her personal property.
Catfish's voice cuts the night air: "Permission to lower the ladder, Captain!"
Lázaro, only recently returned to life from Neptune's murky maws, is once again in dangerous waters, though he does not seem to know it. He and Jazmín sit on a public bench in the center of town, two virgins reaching out for love. But Jazmín fears Nereo's reprisals and Rosario's wrath. Laz dismisses her concerns with a kiss. Mama Rosario is just going to have to accept Jaz as the love of his life.
Mercedes's assistant, Alicia, orders a taxi to pick up her boss. (But judging from the scrapes the boss lady gets herself into, Alicia would do well to have a SWAT team on speed dial.)
Esthercita, a sore loser and an ungracious winner, sashays on deck and claims her man. She clings, limpet-like to DamFab's shoulder, where the memory of Marina's gentle touch still lingers.
Mayuya walks Delfina home. Both claim to be missing Esthercita though perhaps the word they are looking for to describe what they are feeling is relief. Mayuya offers to stay with Delfina for a few days to help her get over loneliness. After all, Delfina has been like a mother to her since her own mother abandoned her. When Delfina hugs her gratefully, Mayuya smirks over the older woman's shoulder. [What is wrong with this girl?]
Don't be too sure of yourself, Nereo. Comandante Robles is better informed than you think. He spots a photo of Jazmín among those of the kidnapped women he studies on the computer. ¡No puede ser! Jaz is really Lucía Jiménez and she was abducted a year ago by the same gang that took her sister, Belén (though the gang renamed her "Coral"). Robles knew Jaz was no ordinary cantina girl!
Blondie and Red sense that there is something different about Mercedes. They are too polite to mention her age (and after all, the egg fu yung is Mercedes's treat), but she seems a little refined for the trade. She's not a cop, is she?
Nan notices Marina's melancholy and hopes she's not upset that he brought the Pest to the Tempestad. Marina answers mechanically that Nan did the right thing -- Pesthercita belongs with her husband. Nan thinks so too, especially after what happened.
Esthercita is a scolding, reproachful shrew. Why was she forced to wait for DamFab in his cabin when Marina was able to work with the guys on deck? Dam is getting sick of this situation. So is Esthercita -- what is he going to do now? tell her that he loves Marina? "And so what if I did?" (y si así fuera, ¿qué?) he answers with cold defiance.
[*The unilateral brow raise is flashier but personally, I prefer the bilateral maneuver.]
Nan's perfect but insane brow is also furrowed. (He tends to get cranky when DamFab is under discussion.) Marina is wracked with guilt. She feels responsible for Dam's behavior. She's the one who told him there was a Fish Emergency and that only he could save them. Nan still insists that Dam behaved like a cad; and he offers Marina a glass of sissy white wine, not realizing she is a tequila girl. Marina hopes that Esthercita doesn't compromise the fishing expedition. She seems less than convinced by Nan's smiling assurances that the nets are full, and the 'indispensable' captain is on board -- the needs of the empacadora are sure to be satisfied.
Cool tía Becky enters, hips swaying to the beat. She seems to have a little buzz going already. The other patrons stare and she meets them head on: What are they looking at? She's there to have a good time like the rest of them!
¡A bailar y a gozar, que la vida se puede acabar!
(loosely: Dance and be merry, life is short!)
Fulge thinks it's a good thing Hernán didn't notice Jaz at the wedding. One of his women dancing with a federal agent in Fulgencio's own house? Imagine! Nereo thinks the whole thing is a hoot. And as for the bushy-browed fed, he won't be a problem. He's so smitten with Jaz, he thinks she's actually a decent girl. Ha ha ha.
Robles is going to proceed cautiously with any interrogation of Lucía. First he wants to get her fingerprints to confirm her identity. Then he plans to check out the men they photographed at the wedding using their Spy Camera Pens ($29.99 plus S&H at the Storm Cellar™). They have no time to lose!
Mercedes shows Red and Blondie the photo of the missing Magdalena's twin, prissy Marina. Neither one recognizes the face. But they both promise to be on the lookout for her and let Mercedes know if they see or hear anything.
It is remarkable how much contempt and sarcasm Fulge infuses into that simple, formulaic greeting. Rosario turns and answers curtly: "What do you want?"
Then his voice modulates to something like a hiss as he asks her if she remembers their old times. She remembers nothing, she says. Fulgencio chuckles and waves his index finger in her face: "No no no no no -- I don't think you've forgotten those nights of passion on the beach!"
[Someone on the Patio holds up a sign: TMI]
[On the Patio, Anita quickly labels a blank square in a genealogy tree. Many nod knowingly over their tequila.]
Padre Tomás thinks Laz needs to slow down. He and Lucía barely know each other. Laz feels as if he's known her all his life. Does Laz think marriage is a game? He is very wrong. At this point, Laz shouldn't count on his uncle to perform the ceremony, especially right on the heels of that fiasco of the PesterDam wedding.
That's the advice Betina gives Jaz. But Jaz can't afford to follow it. She doesn't want to hurt Laz and besides, she has to protect her sister.
A tall, thin woman staggers down the street and bumps into the taxi driver who is waiting for Mercedes outside the Chinese Restaurant. She holds out a thin, filthy hand to him. Just another beggar?
Nereo warns Jaz to stay away from the fed. She says the only way to do that is say she has a boyfriend. Lázaro? Better him than the agent. But Jaz had better keep her yap shut.
Mercedes and the driver don't understand. The beggar has disappeared. Mercedes feels uneasy. If only she could have seen the woman's face! They leave, disappointed.
Marina pines prettily on the yachtlet (with just a soupçon of prissy) as she recalls DamFab's profession of love. Sigh. Pesthercita will never give him a divorce.
[You hear that odd rumbling sound? The gods are laughing at you, DamFab!]
The empacadora is burning and Marina is inside. Will DamFab be able to save her? [Really, voice-over guy? Have you ever seen a telenovela?]
Labels: tempestad
I only got to see the first half of this episode... Since we have only one small TV in ourB&B room, I interrupted the Phillies game to watch a smidgen. Then, I relinquished the TV to good sport Hub. While he was watching Mercedes and the local sex workers, Hub asked ..." Isn't she a little OLD to be a hooker?"..."Is that girl with the knife telling her...'This is my spot.' ?" Sorry I missed the Twin sighting, but the Phillies won.
As I look out at the sea, I am scanning the horizon for Captain Dam's fishing boat, but so far...just tourist boats looking for dolphins and whales....and bikined beach lasses. There is a retreat for nuns here named "Saint Mary by the Sea. I smiled when I saw it and thought of R-Laydee. Life imitating art.
hehehe.
Oh and hey everyone, the Limerick Contest is open to all! [Careful, you folks in the back row. Let's keep it clean. :D]
Neither Nora Roberts nor Jackie Collins could have equaled your recap. Dam didn't have time to rip Marina's bodice, ¡maldita sea!
I see Monica Miguel's hand in this, commandant Robles is way more astute than Mejia's usual cops.
Do you think Jazmin could really still be a virgin? oh right, this is a TN
Although you have written many a recapping masterpiece, today's recap is surely in your top ten. From the perfect, serious tone of the romance novel in the first paragraphs, to the fabulous retelling of this capitulo with great headlines in the body of the work, this is a brilliant recap. No, that is not hyperbole; my vocabulary of words of praise is simply unequal to the task of adequately complimenting both the author of this retelling and her production itself.
Wonderful writing, dear Maven. Over the next couple of days I will surely pick out my favorite bits and pieces, but right now, I will savor the whole.
Thank you for doing all the work involved in writing such a delightful story. It is pitch perfect and letter perfect, a very difficult art to master when one only has a few hours to turn around a piece of writing. I'll bet JudyB., our former journalist, will LOVE and appreciate this work.
Gracias, NM. It is an honor to be working with you and the others on this writing team.
In admiration,
Elna June
As for Dumba$$ Dam marrying nasty Pester in the first place, I keep thinking of something someone in my real life said to me..., "He makes really bad decisions." An alternate title for this episode might be "I Don't Want to Tame This Shrew." Marry in haste, repent in leisure, Dam. Enjoy the screaming hissy fits, Matey. 198 uoomto
But you have to love that she is no snob. Making friends with the HWAHOG (Hooker With A Heart Of Gold) Candy shows that she is no respecter of persons.
This instant friendship will surely advance the plot. Gossipy Tia Becky can get all the down and dirty on the town's inhabitants and blurt out the factoids at just the in-opportune moment. Always in the throes of drink, of course...They are going to have fun with this plot thread, I predict. And Nora is doing a great job as Tia Tiberon.
EJ
I'm perfectly happy to believe that Jaz is still virgo intacta. Hey, Susanlynn, Marina too. Why not? As Vario points out, Marina's bodice never did get ripped. At least not last night.
My dear Elna June,
You have raised the bar with your brilliant work. I am just trotting along trying to keep up with you. I am thrilled that you enjoyed the recap. [This show is so much fun to watch -- and even more fun to write about.]
Your holiday sounds delightful and I am happy for you that the Phillies won.
You made me giggle with the alt. title, "I Don't Want To Tame This Shrew." Loved that.
NOTE: Following is just speculation. No spoilers frome me, ever.
This whole twins thing is a set up for Damian to have an affair with the wrong twin. Mistaken identity, romps in the hay with the dusty Magdalena, these devices seem perfectly in order in our beloved genre. Good Call, Susanlynn!
EJ
Tía Tiburón (or should that be "Tiburona"?) may wear a single shark's tooth if she likes. But only our star-crossed lovers get to wear caracoles. Y punto. :)
And oh yes, Nora is a wonderful Aunt Becky. Actually, I've never seen her turn in a bad performance.
Cynderella
Dam is as delusional as Estercita if he thinks he's going to rid himself of his barnacle of a wife easily. He knew what he was getting himself into. Now let's see how he tries to extract himself from Pestercita.
Meanwhile, Mayuya has decided to take Estercita's place in her parents' home. She better hope Fully isn't looking for a new punching bag. He was certainly having a lot of fun making his baby-mama's life hell. Laz and the Pest are hermanos. I guess it makes a certain amount of sense that she's on the boat in Laz's place right now.
Tia Becky and Candy...I see those two having lots of fun together.
I was very impressed with the Federales. I hope they contact JazLu's parents and get her back to them right away. Do they know where her sister is?
As examples:
The captain's cabin seems too small to contain all the longing, all the barely suppressed desire.
the virile perfection that is his shoulder
a tremulous sylph, who who would happily be his captive
And just so we don't forget that this is our snarky NovelaMaven writing.....
his bride of fifteen minutes
Mercy, mercy, mercy, you're batting a thousand with this one.(When do you not?)Now I'm going to read the rest of the recap and then gush shamelessly some more. Can't help it, lady, you've got a lethal pen in that pocket.
They may not use Magda as a stand-in lover for Dam. She may be used like MJ's twin in Sortilegio-- to create confusion and to make everyone think Marina has died, when it's really Magda who had died.
I'm glad she's homeless (and possibly mentally ill) instead of a prostitute. We already have enough of those in this tn.
Fantastic recap! I'm with Susanlynn, do you write bodice rippers on the side under another name?
I just knew the Commandante had brains. So glad he took that beer bottle and will look up her prints. He is already sure though, having seen her pic. I hope he does all he can to free Jaz and the other poor girl.
Mercedes really lives close to the edge. Lucky for her those other girls stepped up and helped her out. She always meets the hookers with the heart of gold. And the call of the blood was singing to Mercedes, too bad she didn't see Maggie. I think Maggie is gonna be way different from Marina and personally I don't think that DamFab is gonna mix them up!
CE can menace so well. I love this actor! That voice is just so, mellow and menacing. No wonder he has the nickname "The Voice". He is rattling Rosario's cage, but then she rattled his right back!
Tia Becky is a hoot. Love how she struts into a room and takes it over. I think Candy and she will be good friends.
DamFab and Marina, sigh! Stuck with two people they really can't stand. I feel for DamFab, he can't get away from Pester on that boat, but Marina is lucky, once she gets off the speedboat she can leave Herny on the pier ; )
Now that we've had a twin sighting, is there any chance that Dirty Maggie will get cleaned up and high jinx will ensue as FabDam mistakes her for Marina ?
Oh right, I think the last time Mejia used that one was La Usurpadora. He is reaching in the bottom of his cliche bag.
I hope The Shrew isn't tamed, she is fun to watch, although you might have to lower the volume.
"his tight white pants now dry and snug, his manly muscular arms akimbo" and "He holds her, a tremulous sylph, one who would happily die his captive"??? Beyond sensational. I vote with Elna June - in the top five of your finest for sure. ITA that our dear Judy will highly approve!
Dam's kisses looked so fabulous they are definitely worth mentioning. And sighing over. Again.
Seeing Magdalena, living in filth and abject poverty was very sad. Will she be found in time for a rags to riches story and a happy ending? I wonder...
Variopinta, Robles is a refreshing change from the usual less-than-top notch law enforcement officials in most TNs. I thought him finding out about Jaz's background would take months. I'm impressed. That said, I still wish he would stop focusing on Jaz - what about Rosario?? She's available and appears to need protection from Fully. Seems like an ideal match.
I like Ximena/Marina. When she stood in the boat looking back at Dam, you could see her pain. She is doing a great job and think she was perfectly cast. She isn't overly emotional and although a little cool and held back, think that is totally in keeping with the character.
When I grow up (ha), I want to be Becky. Self assured, confident, fearless. Love the way she entered the bar, made herself right at home and instantly made a new friend! And, amazingly, she is nice and seemingly without an outsize ego...
"¡Eres mío, sólo mío!" Ack. Nothing like vowing to take possession of someone who not only doesn't love you but appears can barely stand the sight of you and cringes at your touch. What a look of disdain DamFab gave Esthercita. I would have shriveled up completely. E still didn't get a clue...Susanlynn, your I Don't Want to Tame This Shrew" was on the money!!
Thanks again NovelaMaven. What a Saturday treat.
Diana
"Anyone notice that every bit of Magda was grimy, except her perfectly manicured shiny nails? The same manicure Marina has. LOL!"
Neptune's murky maws
(...SWAT team on speed dial)
Aggro-Prosti
a sore loser and an ungracious winner
protest of the pest
soupçon of prissy
soupçon of sulky
[Really, voice-over guy? Have you ever seen a telenovela?]
Savored every tidbit (can you tell it's time for lunch?) and also appreciated "el mismo que viste y calza" because that expression has always seemed rather mysterious to me.
Now can't wait to watch it. Should be fun. The recap sure was.
Vivi,I couldn't tell if Mag was never in the "life" or if she was and then left, descending into poverty. You say the former, so that is good enough for me.
Judy, we are on the same wavelength. I mentioned several of your favs and agree "his bride of 15 minutes" was great...
Madelaine, "I think Maggie is gonna be way different from Marina and personally I don't think that DamFab is gonna mix them up!" That would be my preference. Will be fun to see how this works out.
Diana
Now that Magdalena is found to be alive, I hope that when Mercedes find her she doesn't turn out to be an evil twin sister. I am praying to the telenovela gods Magdalena doesn't turn evil. I can deal with her being angry at her mother and sister for the hard life she has led, but I hope the writers don't do a whole evil twin thing where Magdalena tries to kill her sister and steal Damian from her. Mayuya and Estercista is enough.
Too funny. You did the Boddice-Sans Ripping scene justice. If this were straight reportage, we'd all be holding up TMI signs on the patio.
Glad to see these are thinking policemen in evidence without it being a trafficking of women-cop show. Oh! It IS! CapDamFab is just a diversion to keep us ladies watching.
From the way Marina has behaved so far, even at age, say, 25-27, she could conceivably still be a virtuous virgin. She was all business at the hotel. We didn't see her with any eligible men, but maybe that will still be revealed.
We know Pestercita isn't. The way she threw herself at Dam, drunk tho' she was, I suspect she'd done more than watch telenovelas for suitable techniques.
I never expected Fulgie to come right out and boast of his affair with Rosie and not denying Lazaro is his so soon. I thought it would have to be dragged out of him and require DNA testing, as poor Concho is facing in QBA half-way through the tn.
Here is *my* challenge: FULGENCIO IS WORSE THAN POND SCUM. Since I'm no poet, please, someone turn this into a meaningful (or not) limerick.
Not sure I like Magda showing up so soon. Don't like all the directions this could go in. Don't like anyone messing with Damian's feelings for Marina. Did not notice the fingernail polish. What a hoot.
So, 'Nan and Pester did not get to see The Goodbye Kiss. If we hadn't seen the firey avances, I would have thought that would keep them apart for several episodes.
Pestercita just can't get any better. Kudos to LC.
Wonder how Damian will avoid doing what he's supposed to do on his wedding night--and whether we get to see him succeed. Wonder if Pestercita will lie about it happening if it didn't.
So, here is Anita, breathily signing off for awhile. Got more figs to process--going to make chutney.
Diana- The pimp who threatened Mercedes when she had the Federales arrest him (Papi), said that Magda had escaped from the trafficking house, and he has sworn to get back at her for it. And now he's also sworn to get back at Mercedes. I think we haven't see the last of that guy. Just like our beanies allow for us to believe Jaz has been captive for a year, and still hasn't had to "service" any clients, I'm going to believe that Magda escaped before Papi could pimp her out.
hunkísimo dulce
http://www.peopleenespanol.com/gallery/fotos-famosos-en-twitter-3?xid=pespdaily08242013
The taxi driver who came for Mercedes is the one that in an early episode, promised to help Mercedes any way he could. I think he was the same one.
Sorry, no nail polish, just a manicure.
I need a plot point correction. Just what is Jose's role in Bea's house? I somehow missed how he ends up driving Miss Mercy AND hanging out at Bea's. Please clear up, anyone.
Of course, I am hoping to hear from our Vivi, she of the eidetic memory.
Grin.
EJ
You're right about Tia Becky--Nora Salinas is always great.
I'm glad you got a few chuckles from this.
Vivi,
Maybe Urban can be persuaded to lend you one of her fans. Or better yet, maybe we can find ourselves a fan supplier for the Storm Cellar™ -- there are a lot of people on the Patio who seem to need a bit of cool air.
JudyB,
When a recap of mine gets your seal of approval, I am immensely honored. But it is worth repeating -- this is an example of Group Think at its best. Nevertheless, I thank you for your lovely words, my dear.
Mads,
Do I write bodice-rippers on the side? Ha! This was my first stumbling attempt. You think there's a future in it? [snort]
Diana,
Weekends on this page have certainly gotten livelier since you got plugged in at home. But do you seriously see a Rosario-Robles pairing? I'm sorry for Rosario but she seems like such a sourpuss. I'd rather see Robles with, say, Candy. :)
Caroline,
I'm also hoping we aren't headed for EvilTwinVille -- poor Mercedes has had enough tsuris for a lifetime. But let us trust in the writers. [Oh my. Did I just say that?]
Now, I want to see Tia Becky loosen him up a bit and bring some fun into his life. Hanging out with Bea all day, and being at Mercedes' beck and call, has got to be a bit boring for a young, verile man like him.
Jose's work sounds a bit like a really good old-fashioned "wife" job description.
I want a wife like Jose too. Especially if I can have one with dark smouldering good looks.
Shall we put up and ad, "Old fashioned wives wanted," and look for one here in the San Francisco area and one in DC?
I bet there will be several others on Caray who might like such an employee.
Now for the final test, Does Jose do windows?
Vivi, thanks amiga mia.
EJ
"FULGENCIO IS WORSE THAN POND SCUM."
So true. And yet I was happy to see him turn the switch from choleric to sardonic in this episode. I mean I know he's just acting but those rages must be quite a cardio workout and I want this actor to be around for a very long time.
Where will the newlyweds live? Maybe PesterDam will move in with Dam's madrina, Eusebia. She KNOWS things, including, perhaps, how to tame a shrew.
Elna June,
Concerning José, I mentioned once before that I believe he has the best hair on the show. BTW -- Wives packing heat? Really? I thought Carlos was the one who lived in Texas. Now I'm really confused.
La Paloma,
So glad you enjoyed the wallow in the very worst prose I could conjure up. It was a fun exercise.
Tía Tiburona tía Tiburón
She sways with the music
And never drinks alone
I am just going to safely assume that all the good girls and good boys are virgins (yes, it includes Commandante Robles, bless that unusually acute for his advanced age eyesight).
Pester is following every delusional bride's script, "He is a bad boy now but I will change him when we are married." Oh Pester, you will not learn.
Will Madge be dirty, hot, sexy, and deliciously unstable? Opposite of the Prissygoodness? Or just dirty and unstable?
Again, thank you for fabulous recap. Until Monday.
"I am just going to safely assume that all the good girls and good boys are virgins"
Hmm. I detect a flaw in your logic. Isn't DamFab the best boy of all?
:)
"P.S. Those Camera pens are also available as Recording pens--work up to 6' away" - Anita, am placing my order immediately.
NovelaMaven, no - I honestly don't see the Commandante and Rosario at all. :) I would like to pair him with someone else because he seems nice but honestly? To get him off of Jaz's back...not that I'm a huge Laz fan. I don't think the problem is Jaz - it's Laz with his rather dull and uninspiring personality.
Elna June, I do windows so Jose wouldn't necessarily have to ;)
Diana
Call me fickle, but I'm a sucker for a pretty face (and chiseled chest, manly muscular arms, soft, generous lips,and virile perfection). Sweet William has what it takes to make me forget all of them (except Cristian).
Is that Mauricio Islas? Noooo, he competed with my numero uno, Colunga in Amor Real.
Can't agree more on CdlF, !!! Add Marcelo Córdaba to my list.
Interesting how different looks appeal to people, gracias a Dios!
I decided that WL was too young for me, so I have designated him for my stepdaughter. She's happy with that.
LVO???
"...he offers Marina a glass of sissy white wine, not realizing she is a tequila girl."
Excellent!
And thanks for the reassurance:
"The perfectly respectable and not at all creepy Comandante Robles..."
I was getting worried.
Vivi, when Magdelena reached for that cigarette, I thought that those nails looked a bit too well-cared for given her circumstances, and she uses the same nail polish as Marina... what are the odds?
I was expecting and hoping for some creepiness out of Hernán on the trip back with Marina but he behaved rather well.
Carlos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UY1rb5kJTE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7UhSEdIcgI
I know he is getting older but look how long Sean Connery was hot.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I did feel the need to speak for the good comandante. I felt he was being unfairly maligned in this space.
Vita,
You stepped up to Anita's POND SCUM challenge! And what a splendid haiku you have given us! Thank you. Fulgencio has indeed been bad. For reals.
:D
Loved your title, the highlights at the beginning and your oh so Harlequin worthy description of our young, star-crossed lovers! I think you just wrote the book version of our TN!
I so loved that creepy, sort of terrifying scene where Maggie's hand creeps out for the cigarette. Nice job, writers!
OK here goes:
There once was a girl named Marina,
And a brat born by tired old Delfina,
They both loved the same guy,
Who can blame them? Not I!
He's well worth this tight fitting bean-ah!
Thanks, NM!
Katy
"and a brat born by tired old Delfina"
Must say, I far prefer the actress' dignified nun role in Alborada to this one. Sucks to be you, Delfina.
They both loved the same guy,
Who can blame them? Not I!
Nor I!
Wow!
Yes, JudyB, the poor dolphin lady. Maybe there will be hope for her by the end of the story. Rebeca should take her to La Guacamaya some evening. She may have some moves she hasn't used in years.
WET, clinging to your rippling strong thighs
WHITE, transparent and dazzling to my eyes
PANTS, and heaves you inspire, and sighs
Oh captain, my captain, never let those pants dry!
What a gem! Who knew a pair of pants could inspire so much creativity? (Though chafing is a bit of a concern, don't you think?)
Katy
Novela Maven, this was an astoundingly entertaining recap. You have outdone yourself. AGAIN! You are like the bottomless pit of scathingly brilliant.
I read the recap hours ago, didn't have a chance to read the comments, so now I'm going to relax and re-read your hot romance and enjoy everybody's hilarious responses. I know that every darn comment is going to be a gem.
I await your submission. :)
That Mayuya concerns me a lot. Now that she doesn't have Pestercita to sabotage I feel like she is setting her sights on Delfina. She's turning out to be a nasty piece of work. Kudos to the actress for doing a fine job of over-the-shoulder-smirking.
"¡Eres mío, sólo mío!" sure brought back memories. What is it with these telenovela characters? They just want to own everything and everyone.
NM, I am impressed with your confidence in El Comandante. I do believe the writers are playing with us, making him out to be a perv when all the while he MIGHT just have a fatherly interest in Jazlu. We'll see.
That scene with Fulgencio and Rosario was just wonderful. [Someone on the Patio holds up a sign: TMI] OMG I was laughing so hard at that crack!
Anyhoo, all the other fave lines have been mentioned so I'll just reiterate I absolutely enjoyed the snip-snappy pace of this recap in addition to the content. Gracias y Gracias!
Great poems y'all! What a clever lot you are. No wonder the patio is always full.
You are much too kind, amiga. I am so glad you got a few laughs from what I wrote. And believe or not, I KNEW you would get a kick out of put-put-put!
Of course I can't always predict what will tickle the Patio funnybone. A while back, one of my personal faves as a subhead, Eros doesn't live here anymore, just sank without a trace. I actually had to go to Mr. Maven for reassurance. He said he thought it was pretty funny. [But then he has to live with me so he might say anything to keep the peace]
Party on, Sylvia!
From now on when we don't pick up on one of your favorites you can chalk it up to the fact that there are so many wonderful lines we are bound to miss one occasionally.
[It WAS the George Carlin one. I can't believe that you know that.]
Speaking of the patio, I think we need to start having open mic poet's night at least once a week.
A perfect slogan for bumper stickers, sweatshirts, coffee mugs, TempeTippeeTequila cups -- the merchandising opportunities are endless.
(yeah yeah, the tactic worked. but then I'm easily distracted.)
There was a young Limerist - Mad-laine
Who gave us a start down this lane—
Susan...complied
And no one can say that she lied.
There was a young girl named Marina,
I wonder if you've ever seen 'er
She's in love with FabDam
Who's as sweet as a lamb
Crazed Hernan plays his fiddle to please her.
While POND SCUM is descriptive, SCAM of the pond implies the intend.
Which one should I use?
A**hole, batsh*t, or badass?
Can't wait to decide!
Note to poetry contestants : Please do not play fast and loose with adjectives when creating your limericks. Example : using "wet, white chest / chiseled pants " instead of the original "wet , white pants/ chiseled chest."
Anita...The sad part of my limerick is that I actually turned on the light to jot it down right after I got into bed the first night of vaca.
Well, this is our last day of vaca. Getting ready for the tasty B&B breakfast on the porch. Then, we have to pack up...boohoo...goodbye sand, sun, surf...hello reality. After we take a walk at the beach , and I scan the horizon one last time for La Tempestad, I might pick up a souvenir for DamFab...the popular "sun's out, guns out" muscle teeshirt.
cap'n Sylvia..."put-put-put" was one of my faves , too. Simplicity.
Enjoying all the comments and poetry. Add me to the group that doesn't want to see Estercita become too tame. Her dancing at the groomless reception was hilarious. Did DamFab really think he could marry her without her demanding rights to his goodies?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavtNZzO_NY
There was a ship named Tempestad
They say it belonged to his Dad
With Fab Dam at the helm
Rough seas could not overwhelm
Google even gave a warning
Willy modeling underwear
http://hotwilliamlevy.blogspot.com/?zx=fc4543499b9fc27b
Bravo, Anita and Variopinta! Definitely keepers, both.
Niecie,
Thanks for your nice words.
"Did DamFab really think he could marry her without her demanding rights to his goodies?"
Uh. yeah. It's not his brain that we love him for (which brain may very well be made out of chocolate.) :)
Shallowgal,
Oh wow, thank you. I'm glad you decided to join the party. What can I say? This show is a recapper's dream.
1. Wet White Pants
There once was a man in white pants
Who made ladies swoon with a glance,
A swim with the fishes,
Made him look more delicious,
When the water his charms did enhance.
2. Tight Pants and Fiddle
I met a young man named Hernán whose
Tight pants and fiddle were just too
Effete to be cool,
But beware of this fool!
He's a cold-blooded nerd with a screw loose.
3. The Parrot Squawks in English
Have you been to the joint Guacamaya?
If not then you really should try 'er
One beer or more
A turn round the floor
You can rent love, don't think you can buy 'er.
For Estercita:
Ester the wife
Whether you like it or not
You Shall Not Pass!
For DamFab
The force is strong with
This one; she'll eat you alive
My pretty boy
Vivi - great writing! And ITA about Pester not being easy to get rid of. Poor Dam, as Susanlynn noted did not think that one through and will suffer because of it. Oh and from a few days ago, you are so spot on about Pablo from AB being the best young galan ever and never sinking to saying unspeakable things to his one true love.
Tia Becky continues to amuse. Like Diana said, I want to be her when I grow up with her playfulness and confidence. I love her new found friendship with Candy and hope she and Jose have a love connection.
Anita & Variopinta thanks for your submissions ;)
On this TN I play the captain
It will soon turn to shit
But I don't care a bit
'cause I'm más hot
& Hernán certainly is not
There once was a wild child named Ester
Whose hate for Marina will fester
Hissy fits we will see
She won't let DamFab be
As Ester continues to pester.
who used to be a senorita
she trapped Fab Dam
who was on the lamb
but now he is stuck, pobrecita
An unlucky woman, Delfina;
Whose daughter could hardly be meaner
But Mayuya as trade-in?
It's Hell she was made in.
Fulgencio's soul may be cleaner!
I'll return to catch up with you all later,
Hugs,
EJ
I don't think anyone that watches CI (of which I am one) could call us off our rockers. You have to be missing a few marbles to watch that one.
Who is in love with Jaz
His mother still thinks he is a kid
And has kept the name of his father well hid
The big reveal is sure to add pizzazz
And a wife who is a shrew
His one true love has the name of the sea
But sadly their love cannot be
Oh Boo!!!
Some of the prose is worthy of enshrinement, too.
For instance:
Madelaine contributed a shortened Haiku-Like Onomatopoeically Alliterative One-Liner:
Fully truly is a blow hard bully
Vita’s comment was quickly turned into Free Form Poetry:
I was hit by a storm called WL
Thanks to Dancing With The Stars.
And now I am watching
the very first telenovela.
My IQ is dropping, dropping, dropping,
but the visuals are stunning.
That's the trade-off.
Patio Poets (e.g. EJ) and Poetasters (e.g. NM) -- We salute you! Keep them coming and keep them clean!
:D
Karen,
Thanks very much for the nice words.
"Tia Becky continues to amuse. Like Diana said, I want to be her when I grow up with her playfulness and confidence."
Hah. It's too late for me but maybe I can pretend that I WAS her when I was young. (My kids might even buy into it.) :)
Shallowgal,
Sooner or later you'll give in, put a lampshade on your head and start dancing on tabletops like the rest of us (i.e., you'll write some verse too) The Patio is patient.
BTW, a calligrapher is working on a collection of wall hangings featuring individual verses. They, along with the handsome leather-bound volume Anita has already described, will shortly be available in the Storm Cellar.™
Su hija is just plain mean
Con esposo much worse
It is a great curse
Su vida is in the latrine
We do aim to please. :)
Variopinta,
O.M.G. In Spanglish, yet! Whoa!
(Eat our dust, Telemundo!)
The Storm Cellar™ has contracted with a genuine Chinese calligrapher to work on the collection of wall hangings featuring individual verses. Executed in finest vellum or rice paper, depending on your geographic orientation.
So.much.fun!! I will work on a limerick...knowing the patio is patient:-)
Whose Daddy she always did Pester
Along came Damian
She said, "Now it's on!"
And forever turned into a jester
A beautiful man named Damian
Whose temper was like a volcan
One day met Marina
Who liked the cantina
So he then had to be her guardian
There was a creep nerd named Hernan
Pastel pants he always did don
He tried for the princess
But only got winces
And still he refused to move on
Soyyo
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