Caray, Caray!

I respect you all enough to carry through with this recap, but I have a big desire to just invoke the Recapper's Privilege Card for the whole darn thing.

Let us begin the descent into hell.

Rodrigo apologizes to Carmen for the porno scene she walked in to last night. Carmen tells Not Diego to cool his jets. He and Natalia will be married soon enough. Respect her house.

Brigitte goes off on Irene. She had enough of her mom's reproaches without Irene jumping on her too. She leaves in a huff.

Alonso comes to get "Rodrigo's" record. Doc gets him up to speed. A while ago the patient seemed to improve, but tests showed his neurological activity was the same.

Diego's bed isn't working. Irma shakes her booty for Grumps. Bleeeccchhh.

Brigitte is packed and leaving the house. She tells her about the scene with the wedding dress (ooops, the secret is out.)Natalia tries to convince Brat to stay and Brat tells her to cut the goody goody crap. Brat is in rare form and tells Nat that if she hadn't come on the scene, Brat's life wouldn't be the utter crap that it is. Brat then has the nerve to say that she gets a little comfort knowing that Nat's real mother didn't even want her and just dumped her at the church. Carmen and Lupita arrive home. When Lupita finds out Brat is leaving she begins to cry and beg her not to go. Natalia offers to leave instead. Carmen tells Brat to go if she is so intent on leaving. Lupita is inconsolable. Gee whiz this kid is amazing!!



Jaiba plays Abdul. Thank heaven a sobbing Lupita calls in time to interrupt the kiss.

Poor Nat. She thought Brat was just showing Diego the dress, not MODELING the dress. Carmen has set her straight. Carmen thought it was fishy. She hopes Brat comes to her senses.

Brat calls Rodrigo and tells him she used the dress situation as the perfect excuse to leave the house. She'll stay with Alberto a few days to cover and then move into the apartment. She turns on the tears when Alberto comes to pick her up.

Apparently Brat has quit. Nat tells Irene about Brat leaving the house. Irene can't believe Brat is offended and playing the victim. According to Irene, Brat better not even think about coming back and begging for her job back.

Karina wakes up. She's mad that Alonso didn't stay the night. Meanwhile he's outside ringing the doorbell. He calls Karina who refuses to let him in. She's going to tell Irene everything and she hopes he suffers. I hate this woman.

Brat does indeed come back to work and apologizes. Irene lets her back because Nat begged her not to fire Brat. Brat is less than grateful.

El is dropping off papers at the fonda when he finds out from Abdul about Brat. Carmen cries in his arms.

Karina texts Irene that she slept with Al. Nat intercepts the text and erases it. Then she calls Al to tell him. Brat overhears the call and informs Karina.

El and Carmen talk about Bratgate. Carmen swears she's treated all her children the same and El agrees. El is sure that Brat will get the idea that Nat is the preferred daughter. Alberto is got a good head on his shoulder and he'll help Brat realize it.

WTH??? Alberto PROPOSES and Brat turns him down (she doesn't want to give up her dreams) and KEEPS THE RING??

Rod and Irma are making out when they are interrupted by a Grump bearing gifts. The old man plays it off like they are for "Rodrigo", but he ain't foolin' anyone. Irma says she's learned a seduction trick or two from Rod. Bleeeeccch.

Alonso meets with Nat at a cafe. He confesses that he slept with Ka-razy (Karina). Nat tells him he needs to be confessing to Irene. It's going to hurt her more if she hears it from someone else. She would never forgive him then.

Aaaannnd, cut to Caprico and Ka-razy waiting for Irene. Ka-razy tells Irene all about her roll in the hay with Al. At this point Irene has all faith in Al and tells Krazy so. Irene thinks Krazy is obsessed and needs to see a shrink.

Alberto drops Brat off at Caprico. Rodrigo pulls up and Al hops in the car and tells his buddy it's problem solving time aka drinkin' time.

Irene is in the doctors office. It's a fertility consult. Unfortunately, scarring from her previous birth will make it impossible for her to ever conceive again. She thinks about how much Al wants kids.

La Jaiba has lured Abdul with a false delivery order. She slimes and thank heaven Angela interrupts them before Abdul can catch a communicable disease. Jaiba scuttles away (totally stolen from Kat because it's effing brilliant.) Abdul doesn't even bother to thank Angela for saving him from a flesh eating STD. Ungrateful jerk.

Albert is drunk. Rodrigo is giving him a pep talk. Brat didn't flat turn him down. They'll get married in time. Besides, they are living together. Alberto tells him not for long since Brat is getting an apartment. Rod internally marvels at Brat's chutzpah.

Abdul REALLY wants syphilis. He's begging for a little of the Jaiba's time. Have some pride, dude. Jaiba dismisses him. One of the flunky crabettes thinks he won't be coming back any time soon. Jaiba tells her that's just how you play the game. Like a crab, once she's latched on...she won't let go.

At Caprico, Nat notices Brat's engagement ring. Nat is happy for her sis. Brat excuses herself. Nat calls her mother and tells her Brat's ring. Carmen is pleased about that. She's glad Nat told her; Brat sure wouldn't.

Alberto is still drunk. He really wants to marry Brat. Rod tries to tell Alberto that if it's not with Brat Alberto can marry someone else. Alberto wants Brat. Rod should get it. He fell in love with Nat the day her met her. Rod refers to Nat as a pueblerina, which Alberto recognizes as a Rod-ism. Too bad he's too drunk to process it any further. He cries about missing Rod and reminisces. Alberto wonders if Rod will ever wake up. "Diego" says you never know. Life is full of surprises.

Alonso returns to his office (wait, it's night time. Full moon and everything. Why is the secretary still there?)to find Irene crying. He jumps to the wrong to conclusion about why she's crying and confesses all about Krazy. Irene cries even more and tells him it's over. She will get her things from the apartment and go.

Rod brings drunk Alberto home. Oh how nice, Carmen and Nat are there, too. Brat and Rod take Alberto to his bedroom. While there they have a too long conversation about Brat getting married and Rod steals a kiss.

Carmen calls Brat out on being a little too friendly with Diego. Brat's line is completely bleeped out.

Outside, Natalia is telling Diego the same thing. He and Brat are just too friendly.

Carmen is also confused about Brat accepting a ring, but not the proposal. Brat explains she just wants to wait. She loves Alberto, but she doesn't want to give up her dreams. More blah blah about Nat taking her place. She doesn't want to depend on anyone (Rodiego doesn't count.)

Irene packs and leaves Alonsto's apartment. She doesn't listen to Al's pitiful begging. Good. He talks about their future plans and their family. She tells him that will never happen...but not why.

Wow. They are really Promo-ing the hell out of La Gata. Did Robo get this much promo? (God help me I want to watch La Gata.)

RPC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Irene is in a bar and this time she is unable to resist. Why? Why on my night?

Brat's cover story is that a classmate is going to be studying in Barcelona and Brat will move into her apartment. Alberto pouts and Brat tells him she needs her freedom. She needs to better herself. They will be a better couple for it. Great words...if they come from someone who means it. Alberto will try to understand. He wears the pajamas of a 12 year old.

Irene awakes in Tad's house. She called him from the bar the night before. She tells him about Alonso's betrayal. Tad hugs her #TeamTad.

Apparently there is some soccer game between Team El and Team El Fettuccine (Paolo's dad.) Kimberly brings lunch. Morales lets slip about the game. Kimberly will organize the porra (the cheering section.)

Irene is still in tears. Now she tells Tad about her infertility. Tad comforts. #TeamTad.

More about the soccer game. RPC.

El Fetuccine (seriously, thanks for making my job easier, writers) makes his soccer plans. He starts making phone calls to his prospective team members.

Rod thinks he and Brat need to cool it for a while. She pouts and wonders why she even got the apartment. It's the reason she came by. Don't worry, Brat. Rod still writes the check. They'll have to wait to break it in after his honeymoon. He's thinking Bali. Brat thinks it's in Europe. What a dummy. Rod is clearly not attracted to brains. Brat is pleased with the check. She shakes her a$$ as she leaves.

Irene calls into work and asks Nat to bring her some papers to sign. Nat takes down the address and knows immediately that something is up. It's not Al's address.

Alberto and Alonso share their lady woes. Al is thinking of studying in England. Alberto thinks that's a bad idea. Alberto asks if Al has told Diego. It's a perfect segue into "hasn't Diego been a little weird lately?" He's changed so much he reminds me of Rodrigo. Neither of them think any further of the matter.

Irma has a nightmare that Diego wakes up and chokes her. She wakes up and leaves to get more meds. Lala comes in and talks to "Rodrigo" and wishes he could be at "Diego's" wedding. He's marrying a girl named Natalia. Diego opens his eyes and Lala screams.

When we come back from commercial, T's wife is ordering him to take tea to the upset Lala. The nurse ordered it after Lala dio la patatús (had a fainting spell/freaked the hell out.) Upstairs, Irma explains it was just a reflex action that has scared many a family member. Don't mention it to Grumps, though. The more man doesn't need any false hope. T arrives with tea. He reminisces about how the boys used to mess with him since he couldn't tell them apart. He can't tell them apart, but he would swear it's Diego in that bed. Lala thinks he's nuts. He says Rod was always more pillo (impish) and the guy in the bed looks like an angel. Irma shuffles them out.

Abdul comes around looking for Jaiba and her syphilis. He goes back to the fonda and pouts. Angela has his number.

El and Fettuccine talk on the phone about the game. Padre Juancho will be the ref since El thinks Fettuccine thinks he will get his mafiosi buddies to call the game in he favor.

Nat brings the papers to Tad's house for Irene.

Irma talks Rod into getting rid of the metiches de T and his wife.

Padre Juancho gets talked into being the ref. "Arbitro y abogado del diablo son lo mismo" (A ref and the devil's lawyer are the same thing. ) Paolo is darling with Mara.

Irene tells Nat about her break up with Nat and Nat tells her about intercepting the message from Krazy. Irene tells Nat about Krazy approaching her outside Caprico. What really gets Irene is Alonso's weakness. Nat makes excuses for him (he was drunk and sad.) Irene doesn't accept them. She feels terrible about falling off the wagon. Nat tells her it was just a moment of weakness and she's sure Irene won't do it again. Irene agrees she will not fall into that quagmire again. She deserves better for herself. She thanks Nat for her affection and support. She will tell Diego personally.

T tells his wife that he thinks it's Diego in the bed. He starts crying about the dead daughter of Irene and Rodrigo overhears. He goes on to say that he can't even look Tad in the eyes. Rod's phone ring. It's Rod's partner in crime. More money has been moved around. Rod now knows Irene has a child with Tad. T comes to investigate the ringing phone and Rod bullies him into spilling the baby beans.

Natalia eats dinner with Tad and Irene. Irene is going to throw herself into her work. Nat asks how long they've known each other. Tad says forever and that Irene is his gran amor. A gran amor that has evolved into a great friendship. Irene is glad he is back in her life. #TeamTad.

Rod continues to bully T. He wants to know all about the baby and why T feels guilty. T's wife tells Rod that they just took care of Irene and she miscarried the baby (la criatrura malogró), but that was over 20 years ago. Rod wonders why the mystery?

El comes to ask Al plays soccer and if he's a crak (bad ass at soccer.)

Rodrigo plays backgammon with Grumps. I figure this scene is just for us to watch Rod squirm. He asks why he never told him about Irene having Tad's baby. Grumps reminds him they already talked about this in his office.

El. Alonso. Alonso's lady woes. El's lady woes.

Grumps notes that "Diego" seems to be forgetting a lot of things lately. He wonders how Diego found out the baby was Tad's. Rod tells him he overheard T talking. Grumps is not pleased. He is mad when "Diego" calls him "viejo" and tells him to stop acting like Rod. It makes him look like a bad copy of Rod.

Irene thanks Tad for his hospitality, but she feels like she's taking advantage. She just wants to be alone. Tad tells her not to worry. He just wants to support her. She agrees to stay. #TeamTad.

Grumps berates T about his big mouth. T can't help but think everything that is happening to Rod (coma) is somehow punishment. Grumps doesn't like that theory. He tells T to keep his mouth shut or he and his wife will regret it.

Avances

• Rod starts to get warm and fuzzy.
• T makes a deathbed (?) confession.

Labels: te-quiero