Caray, Caray!

How many people tuned in at the usual time last night, waited five minutes, and then tuned out thinking there wouldn't be an episode? We started more than 8 minutes late. I don't know why.

Acapulco. Night. Carmelita's snoring wakes up everyone in the bus. Lupe and Miguel Angel (MA) go outside to chat. It's a full moon, of course, even if there's only a half-moon anywhere else, because couples like Lupe and MA get a full moon every night! MA talks about el mar. (Can it, Aldo! This is at least the SECOND TN in which Jaime Camil has evoked the memory of his romantic rival from LFMB.) Lupe teases him for wearing sandals with socks.

MA tells Lupe that Mini did, in fact, try to seduce him, but he didn't let her. Lupe asks if Mini's attempts reminded him of happier times. MA says he didn't feel anything at all. Mini is the past, and Lupe is the present. She's the only woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and he hope it's a long life.

Inland, Vilma regards some of the "evidence" Alejo has gathered at the Menchaca home (I think there's a toy from Emiliano) and says that none of this, not even the polo mallet, is enough to prove that MA and Mati have been there (to get the police to come here and find Mati and MA). They pretty much need to catch the Menchacas red-handed. For all they know, Emi could have taken or borrowed the polo mallet. Of course this only annoys Ahole...

Morning. TOBIA (The Only Bird In Acapulco) flies overhead. AS is complaining about the rented bathroom (perhaps she'd rather make in the ocean or in the grass?). Leo and Frida try to get her to look on the bright side. Lupe lays out food for an all-you-can-eat feast.

At breakfast, MA tells the Menchacas the plan for the little flash drive that he believes to be chock-full of evidence. If Saul and Tomás find something, they'll call Lupe's cell and he'll turn himself in. Otherwise, he'll be a fugitive for the rest of his life.

Perla parades around the beach in a bikini, inviting whistles from other beachgoers. It's fairly modest, as bikinis go, but Chuy is mortified.

At the market, Gwendy askes Nepo how it went with Diego last night. She tries to convince Nepo that what happened between Leo and Diego is perfectly natural, and they can even get married, but with the way Nepo reacted, no wonder the RPs and Menchacas ran away to the beach.

Nepo pretends that he already knew where the Menchacas and RPs went. In any case, he's glad Leo is gone. Gwendy says, "I hate to tell you this, but cell phones have been invented and they can call one another at any time." Nepo gloats, "I canceled Diego's phone! Surely he'll get over this soon."

In Acapulco, baby sea turtles test the surf. Lupe is cleaning up after breakfast and getting ready for lunch. MA is amazed at how much they eat. Lupe watches Emi play and notes that he looks happy and relaxed now, away from his dad, and always in a nasty mood when under Ahole's influence.

AS summons Chuy. She wants something to drink. Apparently, water will not do. Chuy has rum, but he's saving it for tonight. She wants a Cuba Libre right now because she's desperate enough to drink ANYTHING. Chuy sends Tizoc to get a bag of ice. MA tries to get Leo to go with him (I don't know why); Leo doesn't want to go, but Frida volunteers.

The ice-getting trip takes a long time! Tizoc apologizes to Frida for making a scene with her at school last week when he was upset about the way she was showing him off. She apologizes for using him that way and says it only made things worse. She doesn't even want to go back to school with those rotten ex-friends of hers. Tizoc says he'll go back there with her and show them all what's what!

But ice melts fast on a hot day, and even hotter in the hands of horny teenagers. Now their ice has melted and they have to get another bag. And, oh hey! There's a poster about a singing contest! Tizoc's excited!

Back on dry land, visits Diego. She assures him that she's here as HIS friend, and not on Nepo's behalf. In fact, she's sure Nepo wouldn't approve. She's on Diego's side, and he has all of her support. Diego explains that he's always felt different, but he couldn't talk to his father about it. He finally understood what it really meant when he first met Leo, and everyone knew about Leo except Leo himself! But Leo was confused and didn't want to pursue it any further.

Gwendy is confused about Leo's confusion. "I know this is new to both of you, but you're grown men. You have to face this together. Don't worry what other people think. There's nothing like true love. Tell him! Don't keep it a secret from him!"

On the beach, MA pulls Leo aside for a similar conversation. Leo is depressed. He was humiliated by the king of the plantains. Leo is an artist; he can't be with a futbol player! He curses the bad timing of his awakening. Why couldn't he have found out he was gay when he was in New York? Why'd it have to happen NOW?? MA tells Leo that if he's lucky enough to have found someone who loves him and he feels the same way, then don't pass it up out of snobbery.

Perla interrupts Leo and MA to say that Chuy got a bargain on some tickets to take a boat ride to the Submerged Virgin of the Seas. (Tizoc and Frida aren't back yet, so they miss the boat ride.) Leo says he's not in the mood and he's afraid they'll sink like the Titanic. Perla teases him for being afraid, and Leo relents.

Carmelita is wearing her bikini-lady cover-up. There's the Virgin! The tour boat guide tells the story of a fisherman. The Virgin granted him a wish, so he made a duplicate on the ocean floor.

The guide then says he'll repeat the story in English, but we don't hear any of it. However, Leo says the guide's doing it wrong. Perla tells Leo that if he's so smart, why doesn't he do it himself. He doesn't respond, but maybe he's thinking about it.

Perla prays to the Virgin. If the Virgin will make DIego love Perla, she promises to stop using slang and dressing like a tramp. "Why is everyone staring at me that way?" she asks. Leo replies, "I can't believe she doesn't know Diego is gay!" (Emi asks, "what's that?")

Perla takes the news almost as badly as Nepo did. She blames it all on Leo. She grabs him, but she's the one who ends up overboard. She can't swim! Figures. Can she do anything? I don't know if she has enough body fat to stay afloat very long, but nobody jumps in to save her right away...

Nepo comes home. Gwendy is setting the table and pretends to be surprised when Nepo notices that Diego's not home. In fact, Nepo says it looks as though Diego took some things with him. Gwendy plays dumb, but not TOO dumb. She's oohing and ahhing about love. Nepo gets angry and threatening. He grabs the phone to call Diego... but of course he can't reach him, because he cancelled Diego's phone service! Haha!!

Leo rescues Perla. Chuy tells Leo, "I owe you a favor." Leo says it's a good thing he took those private swimming lessons with Michael Phelps. Fortunately, he doesn't have to give Perla mouth-to-mouth. She's okay. "You're welcome," he says to the scowling girl.

Mati scolds Leo for telling Perla about Diego "that way." Leo says someone had to tell her. Chuy scolds Perla for calling Leo names and trying to throw him in the drink. (Again, Chuy is siding with the RPs over Perla, not that I disagree in this case.) Lupe wants Perla and Leo to shake hands, but Perla and Leo aren't ready to make up yet. He says "you're welcome" to Perla again.

AS whines: her blue blood is 90% water, 7% proteins, and 3% martinis. She's grumpy that Frida and Tizoc took so long to come back with the ice. "I need a Cuba Libre or I'll get dehydrated." Tizoc says if she shows him the money he'll get her all the martinis she wants. She wants to ask Chuy where he hid the rum, but TIzoc informs her that Chuy's gone for a walk with Carmelita. Porca miseria!

AS tries to get MA to give it to her. He reminds her that he has no money, and the cops are after him for a slew of crimes he didn't commit. Mati adds that seriously, she's not making fun, but AS is an alcoholic and needs help. AS says she can't tolerate this with a dry mouth. Mati tells her, "try to enjoy being with your kids while you can." AS stomps off with her dog. (Exercise is a great idea for a sedentary person on a hot day with nothing to drink, right?)

Ahole tells Vilma: "I pay you to think. Where the hell are the Menchacas?" Vilma thinks the area they could have traveled to is pretty small. They can't be farther away than Tejupilco, she speculates. (Travel time per Google last night: Acapulco is 5 hours, 21 minutes farther south from than Tejupilco. Does she think they went on bicycles?)

Later, Ahole confronts Isela and Mini: "I hear you haven't even been going to the meetings for your own magazine. You're useless. I'm not officially president yet, so I can't protect you if the board of directors wants to fire you. Mini threatens that if Ahole doesn't defend her, she won't divorce him. Ahole laughs: "I have other ways to get rid of you forever." Mini's not scared!

On the beach, a couple of young men flirt with Perla and even joke that they could kidnap her. She's more excited to hear that they think she could be a model. They ask if she'd like to do some photos to advertise their business. Next thing we know, Perla is in a harness, and... no, no, it's nothing like that. It's a parasail. She didn't know she'd be going for a ride, though! She screams for her life as the boat takes off and she is hoisted aloft.

Chuy and Carmelita are taking their walk. Chuy says he's worried by the way Lupe looks at MA. She's happy now, but If things don't work out she'll suffer. He can't bear to say anything to her, though. "I must be getting old," he says. Carmelita disagrees. He's working hard and he still has his sense of humor.

Carmelita tries to get mushy with Chuy. He pretends to spot a dolphin and runs away.

Elsewhere on the beach, Emiliano sees/hears Perla screaming and alerts Lupe. Farther away, Carmelita catches up with Chuy and they see Perla too. She is still screaming, "I can't swim!" But she survives the ordeal and I'm sure there will be some discussion of this in tonight's episode.

MA is getting restless. Lupe hasn't heard from Saul or Tomas yet. MA wants to tell Emi the truth about what's going on with him, but Lupe is worried that Ahole will get the secret out of the boy.

Lupe says to Emi, "See how much fun it is to play with the people you love and the things you have? And not the expensive stuff?"

I ALWAYS hated when people would say things like that to me. Isn't it just like saying "I told you so"? I think it rubs Emi the wrong way too, because he replies, "but my phone that you took away from me had a camera! I could have taken a picture and sent it to Daddy!"

When Emi talks to Daddy on the phone tonight, Lupe asks, would he please not mention that he knows where MA is? "I'm not asking you to lie, but if you're not asked, don't tell him."

AS treks through the beach sand as if it is the Sahara desert. She tells DaVinci they're like Gypsies now. As if by magic, she just happens to wind up at a bar! She orders a cosmopolitan and enjoys it very much. Then she orders a caipirinha AND a daiquiri. Also a bottle of French water "for my bambino." "We can't serve minors," the bartender says. (Not even water? And why doesn't he ask AS to pay for her first drink or show a credit card or something?) AS holds up DaVinci to show the bartender that while her bambino is small, but he's a grownup!

Mati wants the RPs to find a way to pay the Menchacas back for taking them along on this trip. Leo questions how much this could possibly have cost them. MA ridicules Leo and Frida for whining. Then Leo has an idea. "Just you wait," he says in English.

Leo eyes a group of "touristuquis" and gives himself a pep-talk before approaching them. He greets them in mostly English but then in Spanish as a tour guide. He throws around a lot of celebrity names. "This guy talks funny," one of the tourists says, but they go for it. Leo adds that If anyone needs a particular language, he knows plenty more, including Mandarin.

Leo is a fabulous tour guide. He says that's Sylvester Stallone's mansion over there, and John Wayne's house, and Johnny Depp's, and Steven Spielberg. It was on this very beach that he was inspired to make Jaws. And Luis Mirrey and Cristina Aguilera. "I know all these people," he says, "and If you pay me I'll tell you about them. Oh! I just saw Stallone, but he went in the house."

At the market, Nepo is flipping out with Trofeo and Gwendy. Trofeo thinks it's no big deal if they all took off together with MA on the buss. Nepo is like WHAT??

Everyone warns Nepo about his ulcer. Gwen is sure MA is innocent. Nepo is still in a lather, saying he's sure someone in MA's family stole the money he loaned to the Menchacas.

Diego calls from a payphone to let Nepo know he's safe. Nepo doesn't say thanks; he says grump grump. Diego says he's going to find Leo, but "don't get upset, you have an ulcer." (Have we ever heard of this ulcer before today?)

Nepo says the RPs' luck is about to run out. Gwendy reminds him that he promised Lupe not to go to the police. Nepo says that's no problem. He'll go to Alejo instead!

Next Time: Nepo takes his serious, non-banana car to the Editorial. Will Alejo even give him the time of day?

Labels: pobres