Caray, Caray!

Max says to Juli he needs to be alone for the time being and she understands. Once she leaves, Max screams and smashes a vase in sexy angst.



Mauro instructs Cesar to kick off the presentation and with Amaya on his arm, he is smuggity but happy to oblige. Flavia's brat'git-self comes up to the two and says that they've (or simply to Amaya. IDK, Flavia's very touch and go) won her unappreciation. Cesar tells her to quit drinking and she huffs away.   Valeria is there and says Amaya looks great to Amaya's surprise (at the fact that Vale is there.) Cesar as usual says his smug one-liners  and drops the ball; this time about his marriage with Amaya much to Vale's surprise (that Amaya is married to Cesar.)

Eloisa is right on the ball asking Lucre if she knew about Cesar's plans the whole time to which Lucre says she didn't so shut up. Isa (always the resilient one) isn't buying Lucre's lie pie and the bitch sells another lie pie; if she knew about Cesar's plans, she damn well would have impeded them and just like Flavia, huffs off in aghast (I blame the pinot grigio and gene pool for Flavia but Lucre has no alibi.)

Oh Val, you little genius, you. Just as ceSOUR is leaving, Val drops the ball to WhoreAss that Amaya has married once again.

Connie asks Manny (who doesn't know) why Max isn't there.

Juli asks Jorge to go see Max in his emotional dump (room.)

3 boys whose names I don't know are literally trying to override a firewall (well, a wall.)

DebbieCountryGirl who I'm 103% sure is Ivan's friend he went to visit is conversing with her aunt who is moisturizing ( at that age it does nothing for you) about wanting Ivan for herself and hoping that what happened between him and Mariana the other day will drive a permanent wedge between them. Auntie Em supports her in this (there's always a root for evil. Grrrr.)

Mauro says that they're going to start. Amaya tries to get a word in but he impedes it and ceSOUR asks for  her to wish him good ol' break a leg luck (how about you lose a leg you sour demon?) ceSOUR makes his way on stage and strings along a bunch of stuff and his daily dose of nothing of substance us on the Caray patio call BS and shenanigans on. Oh look, he stopped talking and let someone else on the stage.

GirlSpy is in the phone with Bertie; Mariana is home but locked up by Ulises against her will. Speaking of the devil, he walks in demanding to know who she was on the phone with.  She lies about having been on the phone with her BF and Uli says he isn't paying her to play with her french tickler a game of Chatty Cathy (DAMN YOU HASBRO! Bitches be trippin') now get to work. He also orders her to set up a tray of food and bring it to his office.

Ugh, the floor is SOUR's again.

Connie asks WhoreAssio if he knows anything about the fight. Possibly knowing this will twist some nipples, he lets it slip that Amaya is married to his boss, SOUR.

Amaya says she knew this would be hard but didn't think it would be exceeding. Caro (who is my fave and arguably one of the best characters in this show) admits she doesn't know how Amaya can handle all of this. Amaya says that if it weren't for fighting for justice in the deaths of her parents and godmother (who unfortunately was Cachito de Cielo'd into Greta Bandi de Ripoll) she wouldn't be putting up with ANY of this. She resents the pain she is putting her sweet-as-a-strawberry-cupcake daughter Valeria and the sexy, brooding, ardent lip-locker that is Max through.

SOUR buzzards some more and now about Campaign: Despierta la Vida. It's about changing lifestyles and views on things; the leading woman of the campaign is Amaya Serrano deMontesinos (and not a hoe he bedded at a club he didn't come home from because you know it would be if it could and that would defeat the purpose right?) Big Kiss in front of everyone!

The ScoobyDoos-QuieroAmarteEdition are bumbling on how to get Mariana out until Chelo suggests getting Padre Hipolito's assistance in reasoning with Ugh-lises. Bertie and Hortie are to stay in case Ivan calls and if he does, not a word about Mariana's secuestre. Hortie then rushes Hec and Chelo out because Mariana needs to get out of El Deseo ASAP.

Not-Sexy-At-All-Ugh-lises has one of his goons fetch him Cipriano and if he must be hog-tied and dragged there, so be it.

Amaya gives us a wonderful lecture about COFFEE.You know, that break-of-dawn mug o' joe we must ingest for human electricity. OK, I skipped a little bit and PLEASE tell me why we get a bunch of scenes with Max and Amaya kissing to Sin Bandera's somewhat-pitchy-Squidward-Tentacles acoustic rendition of Quiero Amarte (you know what? Don't. I'll just let my brain flow like a pear in partially-set gelatin by letting out a much needed LMAO and commence a fap.) Lucre is in the crowd with a poker-face that just screams, "Get This Bitch Outta My Face" and ConniePurpleCow just huffs off
(presumably to go canoodle-attack Max and seduce him to return with her.)

(You know, I believe ConniePurpleCow loves Max. It comes off as genuine and not at all like that Nipple-Twisting BS Flavia played on Mariana with Ivan a while ago. In the end, this girl needs to learn the saying, "It's better to have won $595 in the lottery and spent some on one Monster High doll, than to have NEVER won $595 in the lottery and spent some on one Monster High doll at all.")

I'm LMAOing at Max thanking the maid for having cleaned up the broken vase while brooding some more with Jorge telling him cool his jets. Well it's not at all a lip-lock but Connie has come in to egg Max on about Amaya deserving his hatred and her deserving his dipstick for the next ton of nights to make up for lost time. Max says that he must be alone right now (does the same go for Jorge?) Max is packing because he is headed to El Paraiso to keep as far away as possible.

Isa lets it out that Cesar was whom asked for Lucio to write a note. Flavia asks if they're sure and Juliana secures it; they just never said anything to protect Lucio. Now Flavia doesn't know who is worse; Amaya or Cesar (oh Flavia, in that warped little mind of yours you probably think Amaya is. While I have the parenthesis flow, why not tell Max? Oh wait, that would save us about 40 capitulos and this is supposed to be over 100.)

Mauro is ready to babble on-stage.

Max sings this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdBLVbEe0JQ (and might I add, Jorge has some pretty eyes.)

I miss Leoncio. Mauro's happy-go-boring.

Max and Jorge plan on Bro-ifying Eat, Pray, Love but closer to home.

Mauro is liking his own facebook status by praising his kids and their kids. (I miss Bouffy too.)

Jorge calls dibs on James Franco's role while Max hesitates at Richard Jenkins'.

Mauro finalizes the event with a thanks to all the little people and everyone else that showed up but isn't in his family or married into it. (Benigno Paz of Nina de mi Corazon is how you do a Jose Elias Moreno galan.)

Ed, Edd 'n'Eddy are trying to play it cool.

Mauro was serious about SOUR and him having a talk.

Chelo and Hec are with the father spilling their guts.

Lucre has a bone to pick with Amaya for having married SOUR discreetly ( know?)  Amaya defends herself and says she has a DAMN GOOD reason to be by Cesar's side the way she is. Lucre stupidly asks what it is and Amaya brilliantly has a, "wouldn't you like to know?" moment and screams LOVE! LOVE is a powerful force and what keeps the world on it's axis (and at one point, what got me out of bed at 7:20 AM and in the shower 3X in a row once.) Now if you'll excuse me, I have a child to attend to.

Mariana would rather starve to death than accept any meals or even a crumb from Ugh-lises. He forces a kiss on her and I like that she fought back with biting his lip-HARD.

DebbieCowgirlButt isn't helping the cause much either.

Elo and Juli find it hard to believe that Amaya got hitched with SOUR.

Val and Amor-ya argue some about her having married SOUR and it results in Val wanting to live with WhoreAssio only (oh the agony!) LittleBob and Lucio(who is pretending to be Indiana Jones) ask why Val is crying and she says she is sad since she didn't want MommyDearest to marry SOUR! She would preferred Max a 1000X more (you and the entire population of Viewerville both cupcake.)

Labels: amarte