Caray, Caray!

Danilo calls BunMan to tell him that Porfirio caught them double-dealing with Marcelino and is threatening to kill Palomita. He wants BunMan to call off the deal with Marcelino, but BunMan says that's crazy because Marcelino is throwing all kinds of money at them. Dani thinks Porfirio could be just as profitable in time, but BunMan doesn't want to alienate Marcelino. Danilo is emphatic that he does not want La Regia's daughter killed.

Let us pause for a moment to admire Danilo's one good quality. Time's up!

BunMan reminds Dani that he should be glad if Paloma is out of the way. That will take Ryan and "Estela" out of the running and then Dani can just knock up any old chick and get his 20%.

Dani really doesn't want anything to happen to Paloma. He tells BunMan she's locked up in a van and she'll be dead in an hour. BunMan tells him to quit wasting time and go find her, then.

At home, Ryan and Laura hear someone on the radio say that she spotted the van. They take off to investigate.

Paloma's not looking good. She's sweating and calling for her mommy.

Tadeo and Maria chat with Valdo in the park. He paid a coyote big bucks to bring him back to the States, and now he's with his sister, but he couldn't bring her to meet Tad and Maria because she's not a "full-grown woman" like Maria. Maria was hoping to go shopping at the mall with her so she wouldn't have to listen to Tad and Valdo talk about "man stuff." The guys tell her to go for a walk, and they'll wait for her.

Tadeo tells Valdo that things aren't going very well. Their parents' spouses don't like them very much. Valdo says their (his and Tad's) lives are very similar, as if they were made for one another. Tad thinks that sounded funny. Valdo says some people think he's strange, but he doesn't care what they think - he only cares what Tad thinks. "Why me?" Tad asks. "Because I like you," Valdo replies, "and I think you like me too - ever since the detention center."

Tad doesn't run away screaming, but he does tell Valdo that he doesn't like him that way and he'd like to be friends. Valdo isn't ready to give up just yet and says it's a tough thing to come to terms with. Tadeo gets weirded out and takes off. Valdo is disappointed, but not surprised.

Erasmo has just returned home from a business trip, and complains to Bonita how tired he is. She waggles the pasta canister at him and tells him their rainy day fund is missing. She suspects Maria, naturally. Erasmo defends his daughter. Bonita tells him to retrieve the money.

Ryan and Laura are stuck in traffic. Will they drive up on the sidewalk? No. Bummer. In the stress of the moment, they squabble over which of them will kick the bad guys' asses first. Just then, Laura finds the Real Estela Gun in Ryan's glove compartment. Ryan pulls over, grabs the gun, and they both get out of the car and start running.

Danilo and Calao sit in a parking garage. Danilo is panicking about Paloma. Calao doesn't know what Dani's so upset about - he's already sent a man to the other side, so what's the big deal? Dani says it's not the same; Paloma is just an innocent little thing. Calao thinks Dani should take advantage of his El Dorado position and hit those guys, but Dani knows he doesn't have any real power. He still wants to confront Porfirio Pineda, though, and let him know who Danilo Cabrera is. Calao mocks him; Dani's hands shook when he shot a sleeping man, and Porfirio will be waiting for him.

Fausto returns to the motel to find his room tossed and Nina missing. That makes him so angry that he immediately opens a beer. He retrieves Laura's old passport from his pocket and kisses it with relief.

Nina is at that dive with La Tona. She tells Tona she wants out of their deal, because Fausto hit her. She doesn't want to be with him any more. He's under some delusion that some singer is his ex-girlfriend. La Tona laughs at this: Fausto has never had a girlfriend. He doesn't even love his own mother. If he's with a girl, it's only to get her into the business. No way would he remember any of them.

Nina still doesn't know what other business Fausto is mixed up in, except... she trails off. Then she gets up abruptly and tells La Tona she wants to prove it first. Tona assures Nina that if she comes through, she'll be hooked up with Tona's very best client. Tona gives Nina some cash and tells her to consider it compensation for getting whacked in the head, but she'd better come back with that proof.

Danilo fights with Morgana. He's mad at her for screwing things up with Ursula. Morgana wants to know more about the business. He tells her she's going to use her big mouth to get them out of this mess they're in.

Tad is waiting at home when Maria finally arrives. She's all excited about all the swell stuff she saw. She whips out a cell phone. He wants to know how she could afford it. He asks what she will tell their mother.

While vigorously scrubbing a scrupulously clean surface at Furia, Leticia gets a text from Erasmo to meet her outside the building. He tells her about the stolen money. She tries to shame him for not knowing his daughter any better and says she will defend Maria from Erasmo. (Yes, but will she defend her from Tomas?) Leticia goes back to work.

Dani, Calao and Morgana are parked at the mall. Morgana rolls her eyes as Dani does another line. Apparently, Morgana has convinced Ursula to meet them there. As Ursula approaches, a car passes between them, with the window open and the driver's hand sticking out of it, holding a gun. Calao gets a x10 bonus for a perfect hit on a moving target; the driver's head explodes into a mass of raspberry jam.

Calao tosses his gun to Dani and rushes at Ursula. He knocks her out and carries her to the truck.

Ryan and Laura arrive at the site where the van was spotted. Among some litter, they find a shoe that kinda sorta looks like one of Paloma's. They see a jolly roger van on the other side of a fence. Laura rushes for the fence, perhaps hoping to knock it over and then tear the roof off of the van and pull the bad guys out by their ears. That's what I would do. But Ryan holds her back, and they wait.

Calao and co. have returned to the ranch, and of course they have Ursula all tied up. Dani calls Porfirio and says that whatever happens to Paloma will happen to Ursula too. Porfirio scoffs. Calao ungags Ursula, who begs her brother to give them what they want. (Morgana looks extremely uncomfortable.) Porfirio seems worried. Dani says he wants Paloma in five minutes or it's curtains for Ursula. And Porfirio had better come alone.

Ryan goes to the van and asks the guys for help with his car. To sweeten the deal, he offers a roll of bills. One of the guys agrees (he looks a lot like Erasmo, but it's not him) and gets out of the van. Ryan pulls a gun on him. The other guy gets out and I think tries to run away, but Ryan covers him to and tells them both to get on the ground. (Neither of these guys have guns? That doesn't strike Ryan as odd?) Ryan calls for Estela.

There is blood on Ursula's chin. Dani does more coke. Morgana scolds him. Dani says he needs it because of her. He orders a smirking Calao to get more from the truck. A moment after Calao goes outside, he calls for Danilo.

Estela searches the pirate van. All she finds inside are pirate costumes. (May I suggest that these be distributed among the cast?)

Porfirio arrives. Dani is holding a gun to Ursula's head. Porfirio says Dani will be sorry. Dani asks where Paloma is. Porfirio holds up his phone and says the location is right there. Then a couple of his guys rush in (which should not be a surprise, since Calao never came back into the house), pointing guns at Danilo. But Danilo doesn't put his gun down. He squinches his eyes, leans back a little, and then... he decides not to go through with it.

Porfirio unties his sister. She slaps Danilo and says she can't wait to take him and his woman out. But before anything can happen to Dani and Morgana, Calao comes in and shoots Porfirio's men. Danilo and Porfirio struggle for Porfirio's gun, and Dani wins. Porfirio goes down. Ursula shrieks at him, and Danilo silences her permanently.

They use Porfirio's finger to unlock his phone and find Paloma's location. Dani tells Morgana and Natividad to clean the place up. They find the van in the woods, bust a window, and save Paloma.

Nina returns to Fausto's place. He is skeptical at first, but she bribes him with a six-pack of cheap beer. She guesses that he's blackmailing La Regia with the fact that she once worked at the bordello. He admits to this a little too quickly. She taunts that he has no proof. He gives a noncommittal reply.

At the house, Ryan, Laura, Mercy, and Rosario are preparing to write Paloma's epitaph when Danilo shows up with the child. Ryan blames Danilo for the kidnapping. Later, a doctor (I assume he's one of those door-to-door doctors we're always hearing about) says that Paloma will be fine. Laura thanks Danilo, but Ryan continues to blame Danilo for getting mixed up with narcos. Laura wants to spend the night near Paloma; Danilo suggests that she should show her gratitude by spending the night with him instead. Mercy and Ryan kick Danilo out, but Danilo wants to talk to Laustela first.

Fausto is unconscious (or perhaps dead) on his bed. Nina hisses at him that La Regia saved her life, and now she's returning the favor. She searches every drawer, and eventually finds Laura's old passport. She remembers having seen it once before, when Fausto told her it was his ticket to the good life. She takes the passport and I believe helps herself to some cash as well.

Leticia comes home from work, and Tomas greets her with a pair of slippers, a martini, and the newspaper. No! He greets her with complaints. Tadeo left the house with Tomas's tablet, and Tom needs to check his email to see if there's any work for him. (I can't wait to find out what he does.) She bristles at Tom accusing Tadeo of stealing, and offers Tom her own phone to check his email. He complains that her phone's no good and he wants his tablet, but he accepts her phone anyway. However, when he sees the text from Erasmo, he goes crazy. The phone shakes in his hand. He won't let her explain. He accuses her of using him to be in this country (excuse me, wasn't it his idea to get married for precisely that reason?) and calls her and/or Erasmo a beaner. Then he bitch-slaps her halfway across the room, which is a considerably shorter distance than I'd like to see him get bitch-slapped. Sorry to say, the imaginary pet unicorn is totally worthless for protection.

Tomas freaks out as Leticia scrambles away from him. Mortified, just like every textbook wife-beater in every made-for-TV Lifetime movie about wife-beaters, he apologizes and begs her forgiveness. Then he flees the house in a panic, and I hope he is devoured by feral cats.

Maria hears the ruckus and comes out to investigate. She is horrified when she sees the bruise on her mother's face. When Leticia tells her that Tomas apologized, Maria is not impressed. She points out that if he were really sorry, he'd still be here, making up for what he did. She doesn't care about getting their papers. She wants to send him to jail. But Leticia asks Maria not to tell Tadeo, and to leave it between the adults. It was an accident!

Danilo privately tells Laura that Paloma's rescue cost four lives. It's pretty much the whole Los Altos gang gone. His hands didn't even shake. The Salgados will be very happy and Danilo will be a big shot now. He tries to kiss her. She thanks him again for saving Paloma, but says no thank you to that other thing. Danilo assures her that, as El Dorado, he will have Laura for his "woman." And if she rejects him, his hand won't shake when he sends her to the other world either. Laura says nopety nope nope nope. Danilo adds that she'd better stay away from Ryan, and Ryan stay away from her, and Dani's got people now to watch them, and they'll take Ryan out if he doesn't stay away.

So now Danilo has the upper hand. He wants Laura and Paloma to go back to the ranch with him. He scoffs at Rosario as a caretaker - she wasn't able to keep Paloma from being kidnapped. "Your destiny is in my hand."

I guess Laura is allowed ONE conversation with Ryan first, though. He urges her to run away with him and Palomita. She says she can't escape because Danilo is more powerful now. Instead, they need to unmask him. She kisses Ryan and says they need to think.

We're already back at the ranch. Danilo tells Paloma (who is in bed) that Natividad will protect her because he's a crack shot. Laura disapproves of this kind of talk. Then the phone rings, and the Great and Powerful El Dorito is summoned by BunMan.

Leticia serves dinner to her children. She notes that Tadeo seems quiet. Tadeo ignores this and asks about the bruise. He reports that Maria wouldn't tell him what happened. Leticia disingenuously says that she told Maria to say that she fell down. Tadeo sees through the lie. She refuses to talk about it and asks what he's been up to. Did he check out that school? Tad reminds her that he doesn't want to go to school and would rather get a job. Leticia loses her temper and says she isn't doing all of this just so they can be slobs.

Then she composes herself and apologizes. She says she's had a headache ever since she "fell." Tadeo says she doesn't look right and should see a doctor. Leticia disagrees and tries to stand up, but she gets woozy. Maria urges her to go to a doctor, and I think if they wait much longer they'll have to carry her.

Steve and Ryan park on a hill overlooking Danilo's ranch. They watch as Danilo and Calao leave. Ryan and Steve get out of the car. Ryan visits Laura in the house. She scolds him for risking the wrath of El Dorito. Ryan gives her the Estela Gun and says he'll visit as often as he can. They try to sneak him out, but they are worried about getting caught by Natividad. Ryan really wants to find some evidence against Danilo. Laura wonders if they underestimated him. Laura's already looked for the money, but hasn't found it.

Morgana's been trying to reach Danilo, but he isn't returning her calls. She leaves him a message saying that all this stress isn't good for his baby.

So what did BunMan want? Apparently, Marcelino is sending a horse to the ranch, tonight, so Danilo will have to look surprised when it shows up. Also, Marcelino wants La Regia to sing a new song for him. Danilo balks at this - it's not great for Furia if La Regia is singing gangster ballads all over the place. But BunMan says that's too bad. It is the will of El Dorado.

Danilo stands up and carefully puts on his hat. "Really? I don't remember ordering that." And he leaves BunMan at a loss for words.

Ryan and Laura make out in the stables. He convinces her that they will be perfectly safe making love among the hay. Then the rain starts - I guess there's no roof. And the episode ends in mid-nookie.

Next time: Oh yeah, did I mention that the Salgados were sending a horse to the ranch? It's a good thing Danilo has a stable!

Labels: Estela