Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Me Declaro Culpable #51, 4/28/20: Meanwhile, Back at the...Other Place Where Everybody's Screaming
The Victims
We open where we closed yesterday, with Alba scuttling around in the middle of the post-traumatic street like a particularly shrill windup toy, but soon enough we find ourselves back at Aqua House for the world's worst soiree. Both women are completely verklempt, but Alba has the marginally cooler date: while Franco burps out empty promises and "tranquilates," Mauro just hulks on the couch like a superannuated garden gnome.
Ding-dong! If you haven't watched yet, be sure to be looking right at Franco when Julieta arrives and Alba announces, "This is the woman my son loves!" High point of the entire season, I promise.
The Perps
Gabe, trussed up and blindfolded on a nasty mattress, is the only resident of Alternate Mexico City to wonder why anyone would want to kidnap him.
Gabe: There must be a mistake! We don't have any money!
Thug 1: No kidding. You're dressed worse than us.
Gabe explains the side-effects of chemotherapy, goes green around the gills and threatens to vomit, causing Thug 1 to run away in a panic. He signed up for kidnapping and false imprisonment, not a yorking teenybopper with a fatal disease. Guess he shoulda read the fine print.
The Home Team
Rando Brunette tries to vamp Gael in the café, but he tells her he can't come out and play coz he has lots of homework. Unfortunately she knows where he lives. She shows up at his door and he falls ridiculously easily for the old not-much-on-under-the-trenchcoat trick. And quite a trick it turns out to be: soon he's trussed up too, but on a much nicer mattress (and Rando has the sense to give him a gag instead of a blindfold.)
The Victims
The cops show up and set up their command center. Alba offers Ingrid some tea, which should be funny but isn't because neither one of them has a sense of humor. Between freakouts they too manage to remember they don't have any money and deduce that this could only be the work of someone who wants to cause both of them the greatest possible suffering...in other words, Roberta.
The Masterminds
Tiziano calls Roberta and asks why didn't she tell him the kid was sick? This has gotten way too complicated. It would be easier to just kill him. Roberta says yeah, whatever, I'm bored now, and hangs up.
In a particularly weird interlude, Ingrid bursts into the bedroom, starts to strangle Roberta, doesn't finish, and runs off again. Oh, but first they threaten each other with mutual implication in the Luciana fiasco, which makes absolutely no sense since they are the only two witnesses and they're both fruitbats.
The Perps
Thug 1 and Thug 2 take turns trying to shoot their captive in his shaggy little head, but neither can go through with it. It's just too much like killing a teddy bear. A shivering, sniveling Gabe manages to convince them to let him call Alba to say goodbye. Alba plotzes long enough for the police to trace the call.
The Challengers
Mauro calls Gael to remind him about Alba's high-stakes bail hearing, but Gael, bless his heart, is not a complex problem-solver. He thrashes wildly and grunts theatrically but fails to realize that he could easily reach the phone with his clearly unrestrained feet.
The home team loses on a forfeit, and the judge hands Tiziano the order for Alba's re-arrest.
The Crescendo
In the most underwhelming rescue op ever, a six-man SWAT team shows up at the kidnappers' hideout in gas masks and studded kneepads, tosses in some tear gas that fails to prevent either Gabe yelling or Thug 1 pistol-whipping him unconscious, and dispatches both bad guys, all to the accompaniment of some kind of freakish lullaby music.
As Franco, Alba and Ingrid are setting off for the hospital to be reunited with their favorite moppet, a squad car pulls up and Alba is slapped into cuffs. Looks like she'll be able to give Natty that big kiss after all.
Elsewhere:
* Natalia arrives at the women's prison in her spotless white pilgrim-lapels and is issued the standard potato-dress.
* Rando Brunette drinks something called a "lactose-free, no-fat latte." Isn't that just...coffee?
* Oily Ex gets Pedro to spill that his Mom's in love with one of his prepa classmates, and Oily Ex is literally the only person in AMC to realize that's kind of illegal. Where's a lawyer when you need one?
Labels: culpable
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There you go, direct and to the point! And just between you, me and Jose Ron, I noticed you posted this great recap right at 8:08. Feliz Cumpleanos a nosotros!
What a fun title "Meanwhile Back at the... Other Place Where Everybody's Screaming". Gawd, so true.
I enjoy the way you broke the recap up into teams. It is so fitting since everybody is plotting against somebody. My favorite line was the one about Gabe being the only one to wonder why anyone would want to kidnap him. I also like how you had both Gabe and Gael trussed up, but with Gael "on a much nicer mattress".
Your parting line of "Where's a lawyer when you need one?" is choice. So many lawyers, so little work being done.
I'll watch this during dinner and check back in. Thanks for pointing out what I should watch for, namely Franco's face, the should-be-funny act of Alba offering Ingrid tea, and Nat's before and after prison garb.
What a fun title "Meanwhile Back at the... Other Place Where Everybody's Screaming". Gawd, so true.
I enjoy the way you broke the recap up into teams. It is so fitting since everybody is plotting against somebody. My favorite line was the one about Gabe being the only one to wonder why anyone would want to kidnap him. I also like how you had both Gabe and Gael trussed up, but with Gael "on a much nicer mattress".
Your parting line of "Where's a lawyer when you need one?" is choice. So many lawyers, so little work being done.
I'll watch this during dinner and check back in. Thanks for pointing out what I should watch for, namely Franco's face, the should-be-funny act of Alba offering Ingrid tea, and Nat's before and after prison garb.
Thank you, Blue Lass, for your snarktastic recap. I started quoting all my favorite snarky lines and, well, it would have been the whole recap, so there you have it.
However,
“Thug 1: No kidding. You're dressed worse than us.”
--- That WAS a LOL moment, indeed.
and
“Natalia arrives at the women's prison in her spotless white pilgrim-lapels and is issued the standard potato-dress”
--- Oh, look! Khaki is the new black!
And I missed some of the conversations because I just. had. to. mute. all that screaming. So thank you again for the recap! ♥
Yesterday, I wanted to nominate Gael as The Only Character With A Brain Who Was Not Crazy Or Annoying, and today he shot that all to hell. What an idiot! Getting himself handcuffed to the bed and gagged while little miss slutsky waltzes out and he missed Alba’s hearing. (personally, I was impressed with her slick tactic) Well, at least we have no doubt where his brain is located. That's my payback for ignoring her in my recap last week. ;-)
Roberta & Tizzy - 1 Alba - 0
I noticed Roberta never once got off that bed, today. So I finally "googlear"ed it and found out that her knee was injured during the filming:
https://labotana.com/daniela-castro-sufre-accidente-grabacion-telenovela/
I surprised Tizzy wanted the kidnappers to kill Gabe, until I remembered Tizzy killed Rufino. There better be a good anvil for him.
And I am embarrassed to admit I was getting stressed out about Gabe and had to keep reminding myself, “It’s just a show. It’s just a show. It’s just a show.”
MORE IMPORTANT --- Has there been any promo about which telenovela will follow this tontería?
However,
“Thug 1: No kidding. You're dressed worse than us.”
--- That WAS a LOL moment, indeed.
and
“Natalia arrives at the women's prison in her spotless white pilgrim-lapels and is issued the standard potato-dress”
--- Oh, look! Khaki is the new black!
And I missed some of the conversations because I just. had. to. mute. all that screaming. So thank you again for the recap! ♥
Yesterday, I wanted to nominate Gael as The Only Character With A Brain Who Was Not Crazy Or Annoying, and today he shot that all to hell. What an idiot! Getting himself handcuffed to the bed and gagged while little miss slutsky waltzes out and he missed Alba’s hearing. (personally, I was impressed with her slick tactic) Well, at least we have no doubt where his brain is located. That's my payback for ignoring her in my recap last week. ;-)
Roberta & Tizzy - 1 Alba - 0
I noticed Roberta never once got off that bed, today. So I finally "googlear"ed it and found out that her knee was injured during the filming:
https://labotana.com/daniela-castro-sufre-accidente-grabacion-telenovela/
I surprised Tizzy wanted the kidnappers to kill Gabe, until I remembered Tizzy killed Rufino. There better be a good anvil for him.
And I am embarrassed to admit I was getting stressed out about Gabe and had to keep reminding myself, “It’s just a show. It’s just a show. It’s just a show.”
MORE IMPORTANT --- Has there been any promo about which telenovela will follow this tontería?
I've been wondering about that, too.
Thanks, Blue Lass. You really took one for the team here.
Mauro, ask questions. This is your nieto. There were witnesses.
Tizzy, if this doesn't convince you Roberta is the Devil's Mistress, nothing will.
Ingrid, if you had killed Roberta it would have been a public service but not a get-out-of-jail-free card for your other crimes.
Gael, don't fall for this.
Natalia, you are hurting yourself too much. Now hurt the one who really deserves it: your egg donor.
Gael, you are a fool. Remember what happened to Olivia Suarez. Find your inner Hulk.
[Darwin Award for the kidnappers]
Franco, call Mauro. There's something you don't know.
Thanks, Blue Lass. You really took one for the team here.
Mauro, ask questions. This is your nieto. There were witnesses.
Tizzy, if this doesn't convince you Roberta is the Devil's Mistress, nothing will.
Ingrid, if you had killed Roberta it would have been a public service but not a get-out-of-jail-free card for your other crimes.
Gael, don't fall for this.
Natalia, you are hurting yourself too much. Now hurt the one who really deserves it: your egg donor.
Gael, you are a fool. Remember what happened to Olivia Suarez. Find your inner Hulk.
[Darwin Award for the kidnappers]
Franco, call Mauro. There's something you don't know.
Good Morning Intrepid Recapper Blue Lass and Patio. I have a confession to make--I just could NOT make myself watch this yesterday. Just. Could. Not. But after reading the recap, I'll definitely watch the first part so I can ogle Franco's stunned look. (I assume it was stunned. Did anyone tell him "tranquila tranquila"?
As usual, Blue, your descriptive powers are a hoot.
[Alba}shrill windup toy
[Mauro] superannuated garden gnome
[Roberta and Ingrid] they're both fruitbats
[Gabriel] too much like killing a teddy bear
[Gabriel] our favorite moppet
So much fun with language. And I also enjoyed the perps and home team categories.
With a dog of a story like this one, the recappers have to use every skill in their kit bag to make the resumens readable, and as usual, you hit this one out of the park.
Do want to see Alba offering tea to Ingrid also. Nice switcheroo.
Thanks Blue Lass. You've kept me up to date without the crushing ennui of having to watch this myself. I've got enough "crushing ennui" with being confined to home. You're the best, kid.
JudyB, ready to run wild in the streets except my aged knees won't let me
As usual, Blue, your descriptive powers are a hoot.
[Alba}shrill windup toy
[Mauro] superannuated garden gnome
[Roberta and Ingrid] they're both fruitbats
[Gabriel] too much like killing a teddy bear
[Gabriel] our favorite moppet
So much fun with language. And I also enjoyed the perps and home team categories.
With a dog of a story like this one, the recappers have to use every skill in their kit bag to make the resumens readable, and as usual, you hit this one out of the park.
Do want to see Alba offering tea to Ingrid also. Nice switcheroo.
Thanks Blue Lass. You've kept me up to date without the crushing ennui of having to watch this myself. I've got enough "crushing ennui" with being confined to home. You're the best, kid.
JudyB, ready to run wild in the streets except my aged knees won't let me
Good morning, all.
Blue Lass, thank you so much for replaying every weird moment. I think that I wondered a while back if anyone ever feared getting hurt for real because Daniela and Sabine seem.to be method actors who throw themselves into their crazy roles. BEsides the nonstop, growling. barking verbal attacks, Rob always threatened people right up there in their personal spaces. It was probably only a matter of time before someone got injured for real. I am surprised that they didn't write her into Julian's old bed in the hospital.
Blue Lass, thank you so much for replaying every weird moment. I think that I wondered a while back if anyone ever feared getting hurt for real because Daniela and Sabine seem.to be method actors who throw themselves into their crazy roles. BEsides the nonstop, growling. barking verbal attacks, Rob always threatened people right up there in their personal spaces. It was probably only a matter of time before someone got injured for real. I am surprised that they didn't write her into Julian's old bed in the hospital.
Permalink posted by 
: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 9:31:00 AM EDT
: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 9:31:00 AM EDT
♥Susanlynn ---" I am surprised that they didn't write her into Julian's old bed in the hospital."
And with a neck brace! How odd that none of our MDC accident victims have worn the ubiquitous telenovela neck brace.
And with a neck brace! How odd that none of our MDC accident victims have worn the ubiquitous telenovela neck brace.
Maybe Daniela will now write a best selling book "How to Still Be a Raging Villain While Bedridden."
Survey : So what are you doing to cling to your sanity as the days of isolation tick by ? Today I discovered a shower gel , shampoo, and conditioner that my daughter left in the guest bathroom the last time she was here. Wheee. So exciting to think that I can have New experience when I use them for tomorrow morning's shower which is usually the high point of my day .
Survey: so..what are you doing to get through these weird days of isolation?
Survey : So what are you doing to cling to your sanity as the days of isolation tick by ? Today I discovered a shower gel , shampoo, and conditioner that my daughter left in the guest bathroom the last time she was here. Wheee. So exciting to think that I can have New experience when I use them for tomorrow morning's shower which is usually the high point of my day .
Survey: so..what are you doing to get through these weird days of isolation?
Permalink posted by : Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 12:11:00 PM EDT
: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 12:11:00 PM EDT
Susanlynn - How I spent my Stay At Home time, sounds like a theme paper for school, right? I've been busy enough.
-- we started an unplanned bathroom remodel on March 25 (rotted subfloor under the toilet) and they just finished up this week. So that has sufficiently occupied my mind. Not a DIY project. Just glad the workers were able to come and go without encroaching in our living space! I ordered all new fixtures online, and delivered to the house. I had to go buy and get the tile for the floor and shower stall, whose subfloor was so rotted it bounced like a trampoline 😳 and that was in March before things got bad.
-- our Sunday School class started meeting on Zoom four weeks ago, so that has been nice. That and online church take up Sunday mornings and give me a sense of continuity. Also helps me remember which day of the week it is. Gah.
-- lots of my other groups have been using Zoom, too.
-- my weekly Pilates has continued but at home, on FaceTime, with my teacher.
-- the local library has a Gentle Yoga class and since they've been closed, they started doing it in Zoom and for free during the shutdown, so I decided to give it a try. Why not? Its free, so nothing to lose. Lots of old people like me. LOL. The first three weeks have been ... interesting but it gets me moving and that's what I need. I might start attending when the library opens back up *and* I feel it is safe to get out and about.
-- and I have been sewing cloth face masks for us, our son and his wife, and my local sewing guild to donate to a local hospital for their non infectious units, visitors, etc.
-- also writing recraps of MDC 🙄 once a week
Best of all, the tree pollen is subsiding and I can now go walking outdoors!!! I've gone twice already this week. Yay!!! Being stuck inside has been difficult and I try to not think about it, but that is my life EVERY April, EVERY year, so no whining.
I focus on one day at a time. It helps that I am an introvert. My extrovert friends are climbing the walls, and I totally get it. It is much harder on them.
-- we started an unplanned bathroom remodel on March 25 (rotted subfloor under the toilet) and they just finished up this week. So that has sufficiently occupied my mind. Not a DIY project. Just glad the workers were able to come and go without encroaching in our living space! I ordered all new fixtures online, and delivered to the house. I had to go buy and get the tile for the floor and shower stall, whose subfloor was so rotted it bounced like a trampoline 😳 and that was in March before things got bad.
-- our Sunday School class started meeting on Zoom four weeks ago, so that has been nice. That and online church take up Sunday mornings and give me a sense of continuity. Also helps me remember which day of the week it is. Gah.
-- lots of my other groups have been using Zoom, too.
-- my weekly Pilates has continued but at home, on FaceTime, with my teacher.
-- the local library has a Gentle Yoga class and since they've been closed, they started doing it in Zoom and for free during the shutdown, so I decided to give it a try. Why not? Its free, so nothing to lose. Lots of old people like me. LOL. The first three weeks have been ... interesting but it gets me moving and that's what I need. I might start attending when the library opens back up *and* I feel it is safe to get out and about.
-- and I have been sewing cloth face masks for us, our son and his wife, and my local sewing guild to donate to a local hospital for their non infectious units, visitors, etc.
-- also writing recraps of MDC 🙄 once a week
Best of all, the tree pollen is subsiding and I can now go walking outdoors!!! I've gone twice already this week. Yay!!! Being stuck inside has been difficult and I try to not think about it, but that is my life EVERY April, EVERY year, so no whining.
I focus on one day at a time. It helps that I am an introvert. My extrovert friends are climbing the walls, and I totally get it. It is much harder on them.
Blue Lass,this is by far the funniest
Recap I have ever read. And I have read some funny ones.
These People are so incredibly stupid
Funny. Those comedy capers thugs are dumber than dirt, and that's insulting dirt.
When gabe ask "why did you Kiddynap me? We have no money. They should have wondered, "how smart is the Guy that hired us? This kid and his mom are broker than we are". Wow this is the stupid episode so all bets Are off.
So now alba goes back to prison and her and natty become cellmates. Really? And they'll have to fight for their lives cuz berti will probly ask tizzy to have somebody kill alba, and
Yall know natty ain't gonna let nobody
Hurt her future momma. Just as soon as
Daddy forgives her for doing What she didn't do. When He comes to his sinces
He'll do that. He better hurry cuz there's 12 more Episodes.
Now we know where Gael keeps his brains, hes gonna have to retrieve them and put them where he can use them proper like. Some men are so dumb
Not all, just some.
It's nice to see somebody on this show knows that statutory rape is a bad bad
Thing. And why did the director think this was a good storyline anyways? What's his story? Never mind.
You Ask the ?, where's a lawyer when you need one? Ok here goes: ones tied to a bed and we've discovered where his brains are. Another one is pist off at his girlfriend and daughter.
One is slimy and wears a plaid coat so you don't know if hes a used car salesman or a shister lawyer. Ones an ol geezer Whose either a setter on fire of mothers or an abuser of crazy daughters. Like I said what a hot mess this show Has turned out to be. Not a decent lawyer in sight.
Ok gotta go back to work. Blue you hit it with this girl. I actually laughed out loud. As much as I could anyway, I
Was at work.
Thank you lady Blue Lass.
Recap I have ever read. And I have read some funny ones.
These People are so incredibly stupid
Funny. Those comedy capers thugs are dumber than dirt, and that's insulting dirt.
When gabe ask "why did you Kiddynap me? We have no money. They should have wondered, "how smart is the Guy that hired us? This kid and his mom are broker than we are". Wow this is the stupid episode so all bets Are off.
So now alba goes back to prison and her and natty become cellmates. Really? And they'll have to fight for their lives cuz berti will probly ask tizzy to have somebody kill alba, and
Yall know natty ain't gonna let nobody
Hurt her future momma. Just as soon as
Daddy forgives her for doing What she didn't do. When He comes to his sinces
He'll do that. He better hurry cuz there's 12 more Episodes.
Now we know where Gael keeps his brains, hes gonna have to retrieve them and put them where he can use them proper like. Some men are so dumb
Not all, just some.
It's nice to see somebody on this show knows that statutory rape is a bad bad
Thing. And why did the director think this was a good storyline anyways? What's his story? Never mind.
You Ask the ?, where's a lawyer when you need one? Ok here goes: ones tied to a bed and we've discovered where his brains are. Another one is pist off at his girlfriend and daughter.
One is slimy and wears a plaid coat so you don't know if hes a used car salesman or a shister lawyer. Ones an ol geezer Whose either a setter on fire of mothers or an abuser of crazy daughters. Like I said what a hot mess this show Has turned out to be. Not a decent lawyer in sight.
Ok gotta go back to work. Blue you hit it with this girl. I actually laughed out loud. As much as I could anyway, I
Was at work.
Thank you lady Blue Lass.
Permalink posted by : Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 1:31:00 PM EDT
: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 at 1:31:00 PM EDT
Blue Lass--You just can't be blue after this one. It was colorful beyond the rainbow. I agree with Nina, it's gotta be one of your best--and short to boot!
Besides JudyB's and Doris quotes, these also gave me a chuckle:
Franco burps out empty promises and "tranquilates,"
[At the Aqua House] the world's worst soiree
[The thug] Guess he shoulda read the fine print.
the old not-much-on-under-the-trenchcoat trick.
Roberta says yeah, whatever, I'm bored now, and hangs up.
I wanted to quote the fruitbats phrase. It is so apt. I started to laugh and then felt sorry for the fruitbats. They're kind of cute, in a batty sort of way. By the way did anyone know there was a band called the Fruit Bats? What WAS that scene all about? It was certainly not a Plot Propeller. I think Roberta could have finished off Ingrid in a flash. She could choke Ingrid to death with her own hair.
Thug 1 and Thug 2 reminds me of Dr. Seuss' Thing 1 and Thing 2, both types wreaking havoc, but in a funny kind of way to avoid actually killing someone.
And having just polished off a mug of hot steaming coffee with lots of half 'n half in it, this one was so apropos:
Rando Brunette drinks something called a "lactose-free, no-fat latte." Isn't that just...coffee?
Blue, you were on fire today and I'm glad no one threw water on you to cool you off.
Nine--loved your list of where did all the lawyers go? To Non-Lawyering, every one. (Apologies to Pete Seeger).
I've been spending more time on YouTube, Wikipedia random searches, e-mail, reading new and old recaps, gardening, talking to friends, learning how to do FaceTime and Zoom, reading, watching new and old telenovelas, taxes (I'm a premier procrastinator), baking bread, ordering restaurant meals from our local restaurants to keep them in business, exercising (not so much as I ought to), timid trips to the grocery store and the post office and making lists of things my children might need to know in case something happens to me.
NOT BORED YET.
Besides JudyB's and Doris quotes, these also gave me a chuckle:
Franco burps out empty promises and "tranquilates,"
[At the Aqua House] the world's worst soiree
[The thug] Guess he shoulda read the fine print.
the old not-much-on-under-the-trenchcoat trick.
Roberta says yeah, whatever, I'm bored now, and hangs up.
I wanted to quote the fruitbats phrase. It is so apt. I started to laugh and then felt sorry for the fruitbats. They're kind of cute, in a batty sort of way. By the way did anyone know there was a band called the Fruit Bats? What WAS that scene all about? It was certainly not a Plot Propeller. I think Roberta could have finished off Ingrid in a flash. She could choke Ingrid to death with her own hair.
Thug 1 and Thug 2 reminds me of Dr. Seuss' Thing 1 and Thing 2, both types wreaking havoc, but in a funny kind of way to avoid actually killing someone.
And having just polished off a mug of hot steaming coffee with lots of half 'n half in it, this one was so apropos:
Rando Brunette drinks something called a "lactose-free, no-fat latte." Isn't that just...coffee?
Blue, you were on fire today and I'm glad no one threw water on you to cool you off.
Nine--loved your list of where did all the lawyers go? To Non-Lawyering, every one. (Apologies to Pete Seeger).
I've been spending more time on YouTube, Wikipedia random searches, e-mail, reading new and old recaps, gardening, talking to friends, learning how to do FaceTime and Zoom, reading, watching new and old telenovelas, taxes (I'm a premier procrastinator), baking bread, ordering restaurant meals from our local restaurants to keep them in business, exercising (not so much as I ought to), timid trips to the grocery store and the post office and making lists of things my children might need to know in case something happens to me.
NOT BORED YET.
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