Caray, Caray!

Labels: no-podia

Un Verdedero Escuincle en Oaxaca se llama Benito



Rehash: Mike professes his total love to Rebe. His words remind her of Pancho, not what he had in mind. She expresses Pancho’s love for Chela and thinks her love with Pancho was false but Mike assures her that his love is all true. She loves Pancho and he says don’t worry. (I would)

Vicente talks sweetly with Pina, sweeter than he ever did when they were together. Enzo watches with a cool eye and the observation that Vin is missing Pina, Vice accuses him of projecting his own pain. Vice tries to convince Enzo that he is better off without the low class Chela. Neither one is really convinced or changed.

Candy is snotty with her producer again who chastises her for her bad attitude and worse ratings. The leather-girl enters and presents Candy with a gift in an expensive wooden box which Candy fears is a bomb.

Doctor Octavio with Doña Fer discusses Pepe’s condition with the family in the waiting room. The infection has spread from his hand to his entire body and his situation is very serious. He must remain uncontaminated in isolation so they can’t mob him with Lopez kisses and hugs. The only thing they can do is WAIT. This family is never at their best doing the waiting.

Poor old Tomas, discusses missing his family with his wooly mammoth cell mate. He says he has no kids but his family is really Pancho and the Lopez group. They both acknowledge their innocence but also their slim chance of getting out of prison any time soon. Wooly has already been waiting several years to have his case re-examined.

Still in the hospital waiting room the family discuss or Chela lectures that Elena is still family too and they need to support her as well as Tomas. Lupita wonders who could have killed Cristian if for sure Tomas didn’t and she doesn’t even think Elena is that craven. They worry about Pepe and Tomas in their usual family huddle.

Wooly doesn’t want to have his children come to the jail. His is ashamed that they would see him behind bars. Maybe this means he isn’t going to eat Tomas tonight. In fact he cries sadly on his top bunk missing his little ones, while Tomas below thinks he has more hours to live but perhaps more years until this nightmare ends.

Candy shows up at the hospital with the box which hasn’t exploded yet so she hands it to Chela. It is from Napoleon. Temo wonders who this Napo could be. Chela is in Pancho’s arms holding the ribboned bomb (not bonbon) box explaining to the children that Candy had a (bronca) fight with Napy. Finally when Temo tries to open the box and Candy freaks out, Pancho takes it and opens exclaiming MANCHES.

Switch to Rebe and Mike having a romantinc drink. Her idea of rejection or even going slow is puzzling.

Pancho reveals some non-exploding diamonds on an elaborate necklace and reads the romantic note from Napy that he will love her forever. (I think this means that he will also stalk her forever.) Doctor Octavio walks back in to say that Pepe is in danger of DYING. Oh where or where has my little dog (comedy) gone.

Pancho can’t believe this (pesadilla) nightmare they are living. DocOc says they are doing everything possible to save Pepe but he has to reserve his prognostication. The family struggle with what this means.

Monita has another argument with her not so glam amazonmom, she looks different without so much makeup but her mouth is just as foul regarding Pepe. They continue a futile argument about Violeta wanting her to dump Pepe while Violeta’s voice goes toward high screams. Lupita enters the hospital room, who knew that the only hospital in D.F. is still where everyone wants to be. Lupita quietly informs Monica that her Pepe is really gravely ill. Sorry, glamazonmom, you just got upstaged.

Enzo and Vice discuss women and their painful situations. Vice can’t believe that Enzo is so miserable does he really love Chela so. Yes he does. For once Vice actually says poor you with sweet sincerity. Did they change his whiskey mix while I was away?

Pancho and Chela hug and pray in the chapel. Chela takes the opportunity to kiss Pancho.

Back at the bedside of the struggling to live Pepe, DocOc brings Monica in gowned and masked to spend a few minutes with Pepe. I love you José she repeats, you have no idea how much. She kisses his hand and his eyes flicker. She pulls a saint’s metal out of her pocket saying it is from Lupita and places it on his chest so I think it is the famous Fer metal given to her baby. She kisses his brow and we feel the power of the metal straining to save our Pepe.

The waiting room is strewn with sleeping Lopez members, Freddie and Ana wake to the sound of her cell phone. Joachim is on the other end wanting, no insisting that she go on a tour today to push her new disc. She tells him she can’t since her brother is so ill. Pancho comforts Monica.

Finally the reprobate Elena goes to visit Tomas. (Hey, you all didn’t tell me that his new Luke was so transforming, he is totally handsome). Elena complains to him about confessing for her sake. It is still all about her and all done in uberwhiny voice but at least she got her buttinsky to the jail. She begins to describe the drunken passionate embraces she and Cristian shared and him falling to the ground, striking his head on the table edge and then she lost consciousness too. They reach for a hug but the smarmy guard tells them not to touch. At last they declare their love and allegiance.

Rebe is going all pouty on another streeeetch-limo ride with Mikey. They talk in the conference room about his handsome face on the cover of a business magazine then they both carp about Pancho being tardy once more.

Enzo calls Pancho to see why he is late and hears about Pepe which causes Rebe to insist on fleeing to the hospital but she tells Mike it isn’t prudent for him to come with her which of course he wants to play velcroman and stick at her side. He does obey her in this case.

Enzo comes to the hospital and has a tender moment with Chela but needs to see his daughter and talk with Pancho. Chela asks his pardon and he insists that she has nothing to ask pardon for. Her heart must answer it’s own call. She winces at this. She and Pancho exchange sad looks. This all looks so wrong to me and to everyone in it but no one seems to be able to cry STOP.

Violeta is full of venom but not nearly enough drugs so she is screaming at Moni and Enzo to get out of her room. Enzo wants to do just that. Moni hasn’t figured out that she can’t now raise the mother who abandoned her to find a loving mom at the end of the rainbow. But she is getting some strong clues…

Candy shows the diamonds to Vice and talks of her fear of Napoleon he is amazed but ends assuring her that he will defend her against any harm. He shows his well sculptured arm muscles to demonstrate his sincerity.

Chela and Pancho continue consoling each other about Pepe surviving and having faith that Pepe will survive when they stand up and hug tight declaring how much they love each other but it is very fraternal from my vantage point but just as they squeeze tight, Rebeca shows up. She watches the interaction. They part but hold hands while she notices like she had a magnifying glass held up to their hand clasp. She announces her presence by asking how Pepe is doing, but looks like she would rather run out of the room immediately.

Temo stands up and hugs Rebe, Ana and Lupita add kisses and greetings for Rebe. Fer comes up to greet her and tells her that they were told last night that Pepe is in danger of dying. Rebe addresses Pancho rather formally and expresses her sorrow at Pepe’s condition. Pancho thanks her for coming and asks her to offer his pardon to the office for abandoning the meetings. He just is not able to leave his son to sign papers. Rebe reminds him that he is the one that wisely says the family must always come first. Fernanda walks Rebe to the side. Fer thanks her for coming. Rebe is able to talk about her love for Pancho and how she has come to love all his children but really there is nothing to talk about. She can see how things are (with that pause to see if we see the same thing) and needs to go.

Pancho’s cuates show up and the mood begins to shift. DocOc pronounces that Pepe has passed out of grave danger and the crowd goes wild.

Rebe is reviewing the sad viewing of Pancho and Chela as she gets a telephone call from Enzo who says he saw her at the hospital. They are glad Pepe is better and will talk tomorrow. Both share the same sad tone. Mike knocks on the door with another bouquet of flowers for his princess. She wants to get her feelings straight in peace and keeps telling him to slow down. He looks like he will do anything but. It reminds me of how many times you have to tell a puppy not to jump on you, like thousands of times with now effect.

The rowdy crowd rush in with much noise and balloons of joy with Chato and Chacho right up crowding Pancho as he tries to embrace his almost dead son. Pepe looks like he would rather sleep some more. DocOc tries to tell them they are in a hospital and need to quiet down but Fer knows this is a Lopez cure technique saying there is no family like Los Lopez, ehh? Indeed there is not.

Pancho visits Tomas at the prison to assure him that they will help him. He knows that he is innocent and he only confessed to protect Elena.

Moni feeds Pepe and tells him how ill he was and how everyone was so worried. He doesn’t seem to remember but loves the attention. They do lovely makeup so well.

Vice and Fredster have a cordial talk at the table after Vice hugs Adoracion. Fred misses his Momster and Vice admits that he does too to Fred’s surprise.

Chela and Candy wonder what she is going to do with the fearsome Napoleon.

Vice tries to discuss his eggs with Ado and this and that with Abeja while Freddy says Paps don’t change the subject, you said you miss Moms. He decides to not deny and Fredster gives him a big kiss.

Chato has an envelope that contains a letter from his son who is in LA. He misses his dad, and writes in a perfectly blended mix of Spanish and English. We see the letter and the cute little son and Chato’s sadness deepens.

Ana gets annoying news about her disk and tour that now will be cancelled by the annoyed promoter. She begs Joachim to understand that she couldn’t leave her dying brother’s side but he is cold and unbending that she forfeited her career or at least all that he is involved with. Lucky you, Ana. Click your heels and give this bugger the boot.

Chato threatens to become a wetback (mohado) again to go see his little son. Pancho promises to get him all the proper papers through Avon to allow him to go visit his son. Chato plants a big wet kiss and hugs Pancho long enough for Lamberto and Enzo to walk in and think they are witnessing a romantic moment. They all confess and have a silly laugh.

Pepe and Moni continue talking of their love Pepe apologizes that her momster doesn’t like him. She explains that it’s not his fault and her Mom is in the psychiatric hospital so isn’t to be counted on for making sense.

Wooly and Tomas continue their talk about innocence while the tough committee realizes they have a protectee of Pancho Lopez and you can almost see the $$$$ signs in their eyes. The head of Tough Comm. grabs Tom to announce his demands.

Pancho greets everyone in the conference room. The stiff formalities continue around the table when suddenly Pancho announces he has made a decision as he slaps his notebook shut. He says there is no reason for Avon to merge with BelleFace and he is ending the merger talks now. Everyone at the table is up at arms demanding his reasons but while Rebe and Pancho talk through gritted teeth with gritty metaphor, Pancho slams Rebe that she only advised him to go with this merger so she could be helpful to Mike and Mike needs the merger. Pancho is about to find out who else was anxious for this merger as the looks around the table are full of unspoken threats.

Monica brings Pepe up to date on what the family has learned about Tomas’ and Elena’s innocence. Pepe gets it immediately that Tomas was only protecting his hapless sister.

The merger talks continue to unravel when Vicente stands up, pretentiously calms Rebe several times and says that he and only he can contest Pancho’s decision to unilaterally discontinue the merger. Arnold is happy face, he just loves a good fight. Pancho asks Lambe and Enzo if this is true. Enzo quietly tells him that in fact Vicente does own enough shares as an investor and he can indeed contest Pancho’s decision. Pancho and Rebeca quickly raise the stakes to their very personal contest ignoring Vicente and everyone else as they stare each other down. Pancho says he has no choice but to fire Rebeca.

Pancho even questions himself as Rebe screams at his meanness and runs out of the room. Pancho gives his usual confused looks and asks Lambe if he went too far. He nods yes, Enzo says yes but it is understandable.

Rebe runs in her office followed by Velcro-Mike who defends her and she and Pancho miss another chance to work out the real problem. Pancho shows up in time to see Rebeca and Mike in locked embrace this time. They continue the formal slams until Pancho walks out defeated.

Chato comes to see Adoracion who wonders what he wants but he is honest at last that he is going home to his little son. They embrace and cry before Chato leaves sadly.

Ana cries into Freddy’s chest about losing her contract and career. He comforts her.

Pancho comes in and yells at Pepe about his frustration that Pepe hid his condition and didn’t seek help. Pepe finally admits he was thinking he had to ignore his own pain to be macho. Pancho gives him a rougher than intended hair pull then grabs him and hugs while telling him that they all need him and are there to support him no matter what other problems they have.

Chela and Lupita talk about her feelings for Tomas but Lupita only wants to help him and have him not suffer. She admits it will take a long time to feel romance but she knows she has to help people she cares for. Chela recognizes that she is a truly unique person full of loving feelings.

Pancho talks with Pepe and Moni at the hospital Pancho admits that things got out of hand with Rebeca. Pepe questions if he will now be with Chela. He admits that they have been together for so long and Chela has always been at his side supporting him.

We see brief moments of Rebe reliving with disbelief that her beloved Pancho really fired her butt but smarmy Mike is right their pawing at her every moment while enforcing that she is free now and they can just move on. Ewwwww, none of this feels right as I write it down.

Chela and Lupita continue their heart to heart about love and Chela says she isn’t going to make the same mistakes as before. I can’t for the life of me tell which set of mistakes she is recognizing. Funny how Lupita is always the sane adult in all her talks.

Mike’s next surprise is offering Rebe a helmet. She is already in motorcycle girl clothes. They take off after she argues feebly. And have a romantic ride in the country that makes her look positively miserable while he blithely pursues his romantic voyage fantasy. The scene even keeps going to black and white to add to the out of place out of time quality.

Back at Enzo’s he and Moni talk about her dilemmas. She asks to come home. He says no she has to suffer a bit but then says JOKE, of course you can move back home. They hug.

Ana cries about not being able to keep her dream of selling a chorro of discos to Pancho, Chela , Temo and Lupita. Pancho tells her that he will help her sell them out of the house if they have to. She doesn’t need that Joachim.

Vicente and Candy now fight about his tie with Freddy and he tells her that he will never ignore his son or be an irresponsible father. He leaves while she looks sad.

Pancho and Chela try to be romantic but it keeps turning into rather platonic hugs.

Lupita shows up at the prison all sweet to see Tomas who appears with his new Luke all ruined, scratched up and his eyes stitched and torso wrapped in gauze. Her smile turns to horror.

Next time: the showdown of rearranged romance continues like too roadsters playing chicken as they race toward the cliffs edge like that scene in “Rebel Without a Cause.” Chela and Pancho kiss passionlessly some more then celebrate being together with the surprised children. Later Pancho overhears Rebeca telling Arnoldo that she is moving to Miami with Mike. Yikes!

JP, thanks for all the great recaps you did to cover Mondays. I enjoyed your keen observations and I know you had a great reception from the grateful CarayCarayers. And the best part for all of us is that he is going to continue and we will collaborate on sharing Monday nights. It’s good to go away but it’s good to be home too!

Labels: familia

Part One: Fists of Fury

Ana and her manager talk about the promotion of her CD. Suddenly the music wells up and Alejandra Guzmán comes in, singing "Un Día de Suerte."

There's something terribly wrong with her voice. And she's lost some weight. And her microphone appears to be a whisk from the kitchen drawer. I'm starting to think that's not Alejandra Guzmán! Is it an escapee from Parodiando? Worse! It's Goya!

Ana is mortified. Her manager is angry. Goya wants to know when she can go to his office and sign a contract. She offers to do another number for them. The manager yells at Ana, not appreciating the joke, and storms out. Goya cries and says she just wanted a chance. Don't domestic workers deserve a chance? Ana tries to cheer her up and says she did great.

At the prison, Pancho's lawyer is only able to get one visitor pass to see Tomás. Pancho thinks Lupita's the best choice to cheer him up and let him know they won't leave him. Pepe thanks Pancho. "I admire you more every day, jefe." He winces. Pancho doesn't notice.

Tom is grateful to see Lupita. She asks him for the truth. (They sit together at a table, their hands touching. A guard raps the table and says "no touching! This isn't a hotel!") Tom asks her not to tell anyone what he's about to say. She swears she won't. He admits that he didn't kill Cristián; he confessed to the crime to keep his sister out of prison. Cris was already dead when Tomás got there. Lupe thinks Elena killed the guy because he wouldn't give her a car! (Lupita sure is getting cynical in her old age!) Tom isn't so sure - why would Elena kill the hen/goose/idiot that lays the golden eggs? In any case, he won't let her take the blame for this. He's taken care of her since they were orphans. Lupe says Elena would never do something like this for him. That doesn't matter to Tom. He reminds her not to tell anyone.

And visiting time is up. Lupita leaves. Tom curses himself for having been such a lousy boyfriend to her.

Pancho asks the lawyer to help Tom. The lawyer says they're going to have to find out who the real murderer is, because with a signed confession from Tom, the authorities aren't going to investigate any more. They're going to need very good evidence.

Lupe rejoins her family. Pepe asks what she found out. Why did Tom confess? Lupe says he couldn't tell her anything, but it hurts her to see how much pain he's in. Pancho, who has failed to notice that Pepe is cradling his injured hand in a really obvious way, seems to sense that something's wrong with Lupita.

Moni and Enzo are at the hospital. Moni is crying again. Enzo says Violeta is stable now that they've pumped her stomach a couple of times. Moni thinks it's her fault. Enzo says this isn't the first time her mother's hurt herself; she's sick, they can't help her. She needs professional help.

Lidia calls to see how Enzo and his babymama are doing. Hmm. I don't like this. Moni asks who she is. He explains that it's about work, and "she's a very attractive woman, if that's what you're asking."

At home, Lupita won't tell Pancho what Tom said. "All I can say is that he's innocent."

Tomás makes friends in the lunchroom. The little guy says they're gonna call him Alex (ouch, ouch, ouch), after Alejandro Fernandez, cuz he looks like El Potrillo! (Joke: singer Alejandro Fernandez is nicknamed El Potrillo, i.e. The Colt or The Foal.) He offers to explain the rules of their exclusive social club. Tomás says he's not interested. The big guy slaps him in the head. A skinny guy with a beard says he's the Gargoyle, he's the boss of this place and the first rule here is to respect him. Nothing happens here without his authority. "And if not?" Tom asks. The big guy punches him in the stomach.

Rule number two is that Tom will need to pay money for protection. It's like healthcare insurance. "I don't have any money," answers Tom. (He is a slow learner.) Wrong answer! The big guy punches him in the side. Tom fall to the floor.

Rule three is that the Gargoyle gets a piece of any action that goes down. Also, it's time for Tom's baptism. Gargoyle throws a glass of punch in Tom's face.

Candy is upset with Vice because he was talking about Pina in his sleep last night. But Vice doesn't know that. "If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to tell you!" she exclaims. They fight some more and he leaves.

Napoleón's goonette visits Vice's detective, Jiménez, and brings a message on Nap's behalf: if he values his life and those of the people around him, he'd better back off. He'll only get this one warning. If he messes with Napoleon, he'll cease to exist. She casually kicks her foot up to his chin to let him know that she has great boots. She asks who his client is. He mumbles something about professional ethics; however, wishing to avoid getting a heel-shaped dent in his face, he quickly gives Vice up. (From the look on her face, I think she's planning to enshroud the detective in freshly spun silk and take him down to her lair to feed her hatchlings.)

At the Avon offices, Chacho counsels Chato to get over Adoración and move on, like Chacho did with Chela. Rebe and Mike overhear the two speculating about Pancho going after Chela. Rebe is unhappy. Mike smirks.

Chacho brings a Pancho doll to Sandy. Vice interrupts. (Chacho waves the doll's hand at Vice.) Vice insults Chacho's humble background and asks what he has to offer someone like Sandy. Chacho has a great answer: he's a nice guy and he's not married! HA!! And love.

Jiménez shows up, so Vice throws out another couple of insults and leaves Chacho alone with Sandy. "Did you say LOVE, Chacho?"

In Vice's office, Jiménez nervously tells Vice that he can't continue the Napoleón investigation. He values his life too much. He gives Vice's money back and runs out. Vice calls him a great big fraidycat.

Chela and Candy catch up. No new information, but she does insist to Candy that she only likes Enzo as a friend.

Moni visits her mother's bedside. Without her giant earrings with their mystical, malevolent powers, Violeta is docile and apologetic. At least, that's what I think until she sees Pepe, who is now cradling his entire left arm. Then she gets mean and evil again. So I guess we can't blame the earrings. Drat. I thought I was onto something there. "I hate you, Jose! Get out of here! You're a loser! Go away!" Moni ìs horrified.

Arnold tries to convince Rebe that since Pancho's getting together with Chela, she's better off with Mike. At least he's of her social level. She should give him a chance.

Mike visits Pancho. Pancho gets angry just at the sight of him. It's because of the picture on that magazine cover. Mike offers to put Pancho in touch with the magazine so that he can be on their next cover with Chela. Pancho wants to punch him in the face. Mike calmly says that the only reason he doesn't respond in kind is out of respect for Rebeca. Pancho scoffs, seeing as how he had left Rebeca holding the bag in Miami.

People are gathered in the doorway, watching. Pancho takes off his jacket and wants to fight. Chacho pulls him away. Mike taunts Pancho for needing someone to defend him.

Arnold assures Rebe that when it's true love, you can just feel it, like he feels for Pina. Rebe reminds him that before Pina, it was Ana - and herself before that. Arnold admits that maybe it's possible to make a couple of mistakes along the way. Rebeca says sometimes true love is one-sided. She put up with so much to be with Pancho, and he hasn't done anything in exchange. How ironic, after she finally got his family to accept her. Arnold says maybe Pancho's not the one for her.

Rebeca says that if Pancho's not her true love, then there's no such thing as true love. Arnold tries to persuade her of Mike's awesomeness: she feels something for him, he took the blame for the fraud, and though he, Arnold is not taking sides, he is on HER side, and he thinks Mike is the better choice to make her happy.

Rebeca is unimpressed by all of Arnold's arguments. She admits that she and Pancho had their differences, but they always managed to get past them. Arnold says now those differences are coming back to haunt her. The kids, the sister-in-law, the ostentatious sister. None of that's a problem with Mike. Besides, Arnold says, Mike's stylish Acapulco tan is very attractive. (Bitch please!)

Lupita goes back to Casa Popular to confront Elena. Elena says she didn't kill Cristián; she only asked Tom to help her with the dead guy. It's not her problem Tom let himself got caught. Lupe wants Elena to tell the truth to the police. "Are ya gonna make me?" Lupe says she's capable of anything to prevent an injustice. She takes Elena's elbow. Elena throws her off. "Don't touch me!"

At the hospital, Enzo notices Pepe staring at his bandaged hand and wincing. Enzo asks if it hurts. Pepe insists that it doesn't. (If only he were in a place with convenient access to doctors... OH RIGHT.) Enzo tells Pepe not to take Violeta's attitude to heart. She's jealous of him because she wants Mónica all to herself. Pepe says he knows she's sick, but Enzo is more worried about Moni and the effect that this emotional blackmail is having on her, filling her with guilt.

Violeta is still badmouthing Pepe to her daughter. Moni says that if she doesn't stop, she'll leave. V apologizes. Moni suggests that she consider hospitalization. V panics and turns her guilt-machine on full blast. "Sure, you're sick of me, right? That's why you want to commit me to a manicomio! Don't you love me?"

Lupita tells Elena that if she doesn't go to the police and explain herself, Lupita will do it for her. Elena says good luck with that; Tom already signed a confession. Lupita gets an idea. "Oh! Why didn't I think of that before!" She won't tell Elena what it is. Elena hauls her away from the door and punches her. "Now I know what kind of person you are, and I will never forgive you!" Lupita cries.

Pancho tells the chamigos about his feelings. It's all rehash. Chacho tells Pancho to stop, gather his thoughts, and don't act on impulse. But Pancho says the kids would be happier if he were with Chela, and Rebe could be happy with Mike.

Candy tells Chela that Vice hired a detective to look into Napoleón. She also tells her about Vice talking about Pina in his sleep.

Vice tells Enzo about Napoleón. He hired a couple of goons to protect Candy, but he knows what it's like to be in love with her, so he's sure Napoleón won't give up easily.

They have to cut their conversation short because someone named Débora is here. Vice is nervous. It's Nap's goonette. Enzo excuses himself hurriedly. Deb gets right to the point: "How much money do you want to dump Candy?"

Part Two: The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Vice says there's not enough money. "How much?" Deb insists. "Enough to buy out every share of this company!" Deb doesn't even blink.

Pancho goes home early to check on things. Candy and Chela tell him about Napoleón. That's just what he needs - more worries.

Vice doesn't trust Deb's offer. For one thing, her boss was accused of ripping off a lot of money. ("He was exonerated.") And why doesn't he come to see Vice personally? ("He's not in Mexico.") Vice tells Deb to tell her boss that it'd cost him a lot to get him to dump Candy. "Well, there's one other option," Deb says. Nap has been in love with Candy - obsessed with her - for more than five years. Unfortunately he's been out of the country. ("Fleeing from justice," Vice says.) Deb says he'll be back in Mexico soon. "You didn't tell me the other option!" "I wouldn't recommend it. We'll be in touch."

Arnold runs into Deb on her way out. He likes her. He asks if she's ever been a model. Maybe she'll be Crush #4... or maybe she'll crush him.

Vice tries to call Enzo. Enzo's busy. Vice seems annoyed that his old pal isn't at his beck and call any more.

At the hospital, Moni is clutching Pepe's good hand and crying about her mother. Pepe is assuring her that none of this is her fault. Lupita shows up and they notice a bruise on her face. She tells them it was Elena.

At the prison, Tom and his roommate, El Tanque, wash dishes. Mr. T isn't very chatty, but Tom tries to get him to talk. "What are you in for?" "Homicide." "Me too!" "Let me guess - you're innocent." "Yes, why do you say that - you too?" "Yes, but I've been awaiting trial for three years." Tom is impactado.

Lupita wants to get the record of the phone call between Elena and Tom the morning he was caught, but she still doesn't want to tell Pepe and Moni everything she knows.

Pancho and Candy and Chela are still upset about Napoleón. Ana comes home and assumes they're upset about Tomás. They don't tell her what's going on.

Moni says Lupe wouldn't be breaking her promise to Tom if she told them what she discussed with Elena. Pepe adds that it's more important not to let their friend rot in prison. Finally Lupita tells them that Elena spent the night with Cristián. Elena has shown that she's capable of all kinds of things, but murder? She doesn't think so. (What changed Lupita's mind?)

Now Pepe and Moni speculate that Elena had a poblem with the guy and called Tom to help - so he might have killed the guy in self-defense, or to defend Elena. Exasperated, Lupita agrees to reveal the rest: Cristián was already dead when Elena made the call. Now Pepe thinks it was Elena. Whoever it was, it wasn't Tom. Getting the phone record will help.

Mike wants another date with Rebeca. She says yes. That is not the way to discourage a guy.

Lupe, Pepe, and Moni go to the lawyer and tell him what they know. Yes, a GPS location on the phone record would establish that Elena spent the night with the victim instead of leaving the night before, as she had claimed. So would security camera footage from the hotel. But those wouldn't prove that Tom didn't murder Cristián, especially since he signed a confession. The lawyer will present all their evidence, and they can certainly try to appeal, but the judge is going to hand down Tom's sentence soon.

Temo makes a face at Fernanda for being in love with Dr. Octavio. Fer says there's no special age for love. He ought to know that, since he's in love with Meli. He's sad that she might become an orphan.

Rebeca complains about Mike's elaborate and mysterious preparations for dinner. They're in a Cadillac SUV streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch limo. He says he's so excited about taking her to dinner that he has to make a big deal over it. She doesn't know where they're going. He wants her to be surprised.

He strokes her hair. (Ew! Dude, grow your own damned hair and you can stroke that all you want to!) She flashes back to an elaborate and mysterious picnic that Pancho once prepared for her. She loved this. Champagne in a gas-hog limo with a hair-obsessed orange octopus, not so much.

They arrive at the airport. He's going to fly her to Cancún for a romantic dinner on the beach! She's annoyed. They have lots of work to do. He doesn't get it. They can spend the night and come back in the morning on the private jet that's waiting. If she she doesn't like that plan, no problem: they can go somewhere else, anyplace in the world.

Rebe says she doesn't like cliches, so why don't they just have dinner at some restaurant and get some work done instead of wasting time. She gets back in the car and tells him not to call her "Rebe" and to stay on his own side.

At dinner, Lupita has trouble with a loose tooth. She tells Pancho she fell. Nobody believes her. It comes out that Elena did it. Ana goes flying out the door and hitches a ride with Freddy, who just happens to be passing through. Pancho and Chela follow in La Burra.

On the ride over, Chela says she's worried about Pepe's hand. He agrees to have him see a doctor.

It turns out Enzo didn't answer Vice's call earlier because he was WORKING. On the merger. Enzo doesn't think it's a good idea to keep the secret of Pancho's DNA from Fernanda, but Vice doesn't want him to be president of the merged company. Arnold shows up and wants to ask about the woman in leather.

In La Burra, Pancho tells Chela that the one good thing about all the problems they're having is that they're together. He takes her hand. She is delighted. Blech.

Arnold wants Debora to model for one of their campaigns. Vice doesn't want to talk to him. He's sore at Arnold for taking Pina's side. Arnold suggests they kiss and make up. Enzo likes the idea. Vice agrees to make up, without a kiss, and tells his fellow pesketeers that the woman in leather offered him money to break up with Candy. They make like the Three Wise Monkeys.

Deb reports to Napo-bot. (There's a bust of Original Napoleon on his desk.) She says Vicente will be a tough customer, but she thinks he'll negotiate.

Candy leaves the Lopez dinner table to do her radio show. It's just Fernanda, Lupita, Temo, Moni, and Pepe now. Pepe is sweating and flushed and distracted. The pain is so bad that he is struggling to keep his eyes open. Nobody notices. Fernanda wants to know what's going on with the lawyer and Tomás and everything. Pepe tries to say something, but can only pant and mumble. He insists that nothing is wrong, and tries to leave the dining room, but collapses. NOW they notice!

There's a knock at Elena's door. She doesn't get up when she hears Ana's voice. "We want to talk to you!" Fred says. NOW Elena opens the door! Ana greets her with the sound of one hand clapping - across Elena's face. Before shocked Freddy can react, Ana gives her a kick that sends her rolling over the couch. "Nobody messes with my sister and lives to tell about it!" Pancho and Chela are right behind them. Pancho restrains Ana. Fred, of all people, holds Elena.

Fernanda calls Dr. Octavio for help. She asks Pepe if he can walk. (Well, yes. Because he doesn't walk on his hands!)

Enzo and Arnold are shocked that Vice would consider taking Napoleón up on his offer, but Vice says he could use the money to become owner of the company. "When I'm bad, I'm REALLY bad," he crows. Then he backpedals and says he couldn't do that. He asked to meet with Nap to buy some time, but he doesn't think he'll win.

Pina calls Arnold. He pretends it's some unwanted boyfriend, but lets her know he's with Vice.

Napo-Bot tells Deb he won't tolerate any mistakes. (Whose voice is that? It's driving me crazy!) Then he asks her to demonstrate her ninja skilz. She clears his pencil-cup (full of those stupid green pencils) off the desk with her foot. That's good enough for Nap.

Pancho et al grill Elena. She says she doesn't remember anything. She tells them what little she does remember: it's just what we saw. They had a drink in the bar, then they went up to the room, and got dizzy. They guess that someone might have drugged them, but why?

Dr. Octavio says Pepe has a serious infection. Pepe thinks it might be his hand. (Seriously? NOBODY told the doctor about the hand?) The doctor unwraps it, and it's clear that Pepe has not been following his Concha Cream regimen.

Elena tells Pancho et al all the stuff we already know. She swears she didn't kill him. Ana doesn't believe her at all.

Octavio wants to take Pepe to the hospital. Else he might get sepsis. (Didn't someone here mention a few weeks ago they didn't like Ana saying "sepsy" for "sexy" because it sounded too much like "sepsis"? Well, this ought to break Ana of that habit!)

Elena feels bad about letting Tom take the blame, but if she told the truth they'd put her in jail instead. That sounds good to Ana. Pancho and Chela says they're family and they won't let her go through this alone. Then he gets a call from Lupita about Pepe's hand.

Rebe tells Mike she appreciates him taking the blame for the Miami thing, since it could hurt his career. He says her love is more important to him than his ambition. All the perks and privileges mean nothing compared to his feelings for her. She says that's just how she FELT about Pancho... but it turns out he doesn't love her, he always denied that he was interested in Chela, but it's looking like he's in love with her, and his love for Rebeca was false. Mike says his love for her is real. She says she can't tell her heart what to do; she loves Pancho. Mike tells her not to worry.

Vice has a sweet conversation with Pina, asks about Yuyu and mini-Yuyu, and says when she gets back he'll buy her some clothes and shoes and they'll take Fred and/or Abeja (whichever the "nene" is) to Chapultepec and look at the boats. Enzo notes that Vice sighed after talking to Pina, because he loves her and misses her. Vice mocks and says it's Enzo who misses his Quesadillas (Chela). Enzo takes offense. Vice taunts him with the likelihood that Chela is in Pancho's arms. Not helpful.

Ortíz - Candy's producer - says their ratings are down and they'd better fix that fast or they'll lose sponsors. Just then, Deb walks in. Amazingly, Candy recognizes her voice from that one brief cellphone call. Deb has a gift from Napoleon. She puts it on Candy's desk and leaves. Candy worries it's a bomb. Ortíz goes for Security, or so he says. Maybe he's just running for his life.

Dr. Octavio says that Pepe had a cut on his hand. (Oh, really?) It had been sewn up (so I guess Pepe did see a doctor that night) but Pepe didn't care for it properly and now it's all infected. They're giving him antibiotics now and they cleaned up the hand, but the infection is raging throughout his body. His situation is very grave.

Next time:
Rebe sees Pancho holding Chela.

Labels: familia

At first I was puzzled. Why would they make an episode about nothing? Were they doing tequila shots with Larry David over lunch? Had they been watching too many Seinfeld reruns? And then I got it. They were giving us time to process the explosive events of the evening before.
If Thursday was ham on wry, (and it was), then this Friday is pure spam. Which is unfortunate. Because it is precisely today that Rabbi Jacob Sacerdote joins us for the first time. (Hide the pork products and let’s wrap it up before sundown.)
Popularly known in the valley as the Tallis Man because of his distinctive avocado-colored tallis, or prayer shawl, Rabbi Jacob will comment on the text from time to time when the regular go-to goy, Padre Serafin, is out blessing a Suburu and we need moral guidance fast.
Let’s get started on our trip to nowhere, shall we?
It’s a new day at el tal Talismán
La tal Camila is marking her territory. La tal LuCrazy is mincing around, still wearing the skimpy hospital gown whose pale pink color highlights the bruises on her surly face.
It’s the Pi Man himself who makes the call: Lu gets the guestroom, and Camila will sleep in Pedro’s bedroom.
¡No sean malpensados!
(Get your minds out of the gutter!)
No need to call in the rabbi just yet. Pedro will sleep in Mariana’s bedroom, right next to his own. Tía is handing around the chastity belts.
[Rabbi Jacob: It’s very odd that no one mentions the suicide room. Wasn’t that the master bedroom? Did they seal it off? Or, it’s not, God forbid, “Mariana’s room”? NM: Tonight the writers have forgotten Estegone’s tragic legacy and they expect us to do the same. Rabbi: Mutters under breath: Putzes.]
At AlcaTrash
Gregorio explains (again) that Pancho must watch Gregorio’s back and keep an eye on Antonio and LuCrazier. His reward? When he and Greg are alone – and only then – Pancho can call him daddy.
At The Only Hotel Inn-Fresno™
Armando wants out of El Viral’s scheme to hurt the Negrete girls. He protests the same way he does everything -- feebly, ineffectually. He has a hunch Operation F-Girls will backfire and he’ll be the one who gets effed. Exit Armando. Enter Antonio.
Now Tony pulls El Viral’s strings. He has some work for her:
First, make Camila believe that Pedro killed his wife. And second? Oh, yeah -- he wants daddy dead.
Tracy pops in briefly and unnecessarily tonight. She phones El Tal looking for Panchito. She’s got problems, she tells Domitila.
But unbeknownst to Tracy, Pancho, ever so desperate to please, is still closeted with Pigorio over at AlcaTrash. The Pig says he can’t trust anyone – especially Antonio, now that he knows about his mother’s will. Pancho is hurt. Doesn’t Pigorio trust HIM? Pig makes it clear Pancho will have to earn his trust.
El Viral is sorry she ever got mixed up with Tony and regrets agreeing to poison the Pig’s pills. Can’t they kill him some other way? Nope.
At last, Pancho leaves with a wistful “Hasta luego, Papa” and the Pig is alone in his bullet-pocked office. Not for long though. Doris, particularly drab and sullen this evening, comes in whining about Antonio and his plans to divorce her for la tal Camila.
El Tal
Pedro reminds Camila (again) that he only married Mariana to give her baby his name. When Mariana comes home, her old room will be waiting for her and Pedro will move back into his own bedroom. Even if Camila is still in it. Here he and Camila exchange conspiratorial smiles – oh the fun the 40-year-old virgins will have when Mariana comes home!
LuCrazierandcrazier slithers and hisses in the background. Camila looks smug. I’m the one Pedro loves, you nasty whoring munchkin!
[Rabbi Jacob: This you call a telenovela? These people are meshuga. And wicked. And boring. They keep saying the same thing over and over ...]
Pedro looks at a photo of himself with Mariana and her father. He wonders: ¿Dónde estarás, Mariana? ¿Dónde? (I wonder where Mariana is?)
[NM: Pedro uses the future of probability that often gets translated as “I wonder”. I like to think of it as the “Book of Love Future (♪♪Oh I wonder, wonder, wonder ...♪♪)]
[Rabbi Jacob: Future shmuture. Look for her outside of Fresno, already!]
Pigorio counsels Doris to use her daughters by pitting them against Antonio. [I’m distracted by Doris’s voice. It sounds like it should be in a cartoon. If they dub The Simpsons in Spanish, Doris should play one of Marge’s sisters.]
At California State University Fresno
Flor, momentarily sacada de onda (bummed out) because José seems to have stood her up, brightens when her bespectacled suitor appears. ¿Que onda contigo? (Whassup, dude?), she greets him.
[Rabbi Jacob: What’s with the onda talk?
NM: That’s code for “I’m just a kid.”]
Almost immediately Armando gets a phone call and steps away to talk to ... the other F-sister, Fabi, the one he really likes. Oh this is all too much for Armando. His tiny brain is starting to hurt.
Flor wants to know who called. “My friend, Fabio” he sputters. “¡Qué casualidad!” She has a sister named Fabiola!
At the Hotel, Antonio is still turning the screws on El Viral. Now he peels a few bills from the wad he’s carrying. Something to make her smile he says as he hands her the cash. The catch – she has to convince Camila to leave Pedro.
El Viral is aghast when Antonio tells her Pedro was accused of murdering his wife. He thought she already knew.
[Rabbi Jacob: Didn’t he say that to her earlier this evening?
NM: Yes. Maybe the headband is constricting the blood supply to her brain.]
Anyway, Antonio will get all the old newspaper stories about the trial so El Viral can get to work on Operation Comecocos.
(comecocos = brainwashing, Hombre de Misterio’s gift to El Tal)
More girl talk.
Cami asks LuCrazy:
¿No te cansas de estar de rogona?
(Aren’t you tired of acting like a stalker? rogar: to beg)
You’re the “rogona”, giraffe-girl, snarls Lu.
Here Pedro arrives to escort Camila to “his” bedroom while Tía takes charge of LuCrazier. She shuts the door and Lu and Tía are now alone together in a confined space. Lu’s fake smile fades quickly.
[Rabbi Jacob: Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be a scene right here with the aunt telling off the mean girl? NM: No kidding, Rabbi. Tía’s the one who’s always had LuCrazy’s number.]
Pedro shows Cami his room, the very room she lived in for several days. Four years ago. He has kept it exactly as she left it – a few receipts from Yogurt Fusion, a handful of feathers and a cowgirl belt are now cherished relics -- because it made him feel she was there with him.
Fabiola returns home to AlcaTrash. Alberta gives her the skinny on the Belt Buckle vs the Safe:
Se puso bien canijo el pleito entre Don Gregorio y tu papá.
(The argument between Don G and your dad got pretty bad. canijo: literally small, puny but here it’s almost the opposite – big, nasty. Choose your negative.)
Pfffft. That’s old news to Fabiola.
Alberta adds warily:
A Antonio se le metió el chamuco adentro.
(The devil has taken hold of Antonio.)
The devilish Antonio is right now arranging for a (fake) newspaper story to be (fake?) published. It will make Pedro look guilty and then El Viral can use it to turn Camila against him.
El Viral and Tony are startled by a knock on the door. Surprise! It’s Renato and he has come a-courting. “¿Qué dice la mujer más bella ... “, he begins unctuously. But the sight of the Belt Buckle in full pelvic tilt, dries up his spit for a moment. He bounces back quickly though: “May I ask who the gentleman is?”
[Rabbi Jacob: She’s a good-looking woman but why is she wearing the huge earrings and the stupid headband? NM: It’s a long story, Rabbi. Later.]
Antonio curls his lip.
[Rabbi Jacob: And the schmuck* with the Belt Buckle that ate San Jacinto?]
[NM to reader: *Schmuck is a consummately vulgar Yiddish word meaning, literally, “penis” but used popularly to mean a cross between an “imbécil” and an “infeliz”, ie, a nasty piece of work. Using it here is decidedly unrabbinical and I am starting to doubt my judgment in calling upon Rabbi Jacob for commentary.]
Fabiola doesn’t want to hear any AlcaTrash Talk about her daddy.
But Alberta won’t back down. “If you don’t believe me, look at the bullet holes in the wall of your grandfather’s office!” she says. “Tu papá no es tan bueno como crees.” (Your dad isn’t as good a person as you think.)
Pigorio doesn’t think Doris can turn the girls against Tony. They adore him. But listen. If she’s going to make Tony’s life hell, at least do it intelligently.
Doris defends her intellect staunchly, even pulling out a copy of Elna June’s recent Harlot’s Tale to buttress her claim. “I’m not as dumb as you all think.” She knows how much Antonio loves his daughters. If she turns them against him, he’ll suffer.
Working girls
Geno is showing Sarita some leaves with signs of the plaga. Really? El Tal has the plaga? And if so shouldn’t they be concentrating on it? And not gasping girlishly because Camila is back in the big house? Guess not.
Meanwhile Pedro is telling the boys that because of his big mouth (por bocón), he’ll have to do an Odysseus and the Sirens number. There’s no mast to lash him to, but they’ll have to tie him down to control his animal passions what with Camila right next door to his bedroom. And we all know what a raging beast it is, Pedro’s passion. Yeah.
Back at El Viral’s hotel room, Renato stands, decked in shades of vanilla, holding a single long-stemmed red rose. El V introduces Tony as her daughter’s suitor (pretendiente). Tony toys with El V by telling Renato that her only flaw is that she is a poisoner (una envenenadora) -- she likes to poison her romantic conquests. El V smiles uneasily.
“¿De dónde sacaste eso?” (Where the &*$#* did that come from?) asks Renato, somewhat taken aback.
Answers slick Antonio: She poisons with her charms. And Renato ups the schmaltz when he says he’d love to die poisoned by her charms. “Yup. My dad too” says Tony.
Now El Viral makes it PERFECTLY plain that there’s nothing between her and Pigorio. “You remember, the big doofus at the fiesta? That’s his father.” Renato’s brow clears. He turns to Antonio: So you’re the son of the Pig?
No, says Tony darkly. “The Pig is the father of the Belt Buckle.”
And his parting shot to El Viral:
“Thanks for getting my father’s blood pressure medicine!”
Renato está en la inopia:
(R is clueless – (thanks to Cap’n S for the lovely phrase)
“You got his blood pressure pills?”
The working girls wear latex gloves and have a bunch of test tubes arrayed on a table but all they seem to do is gossip about Camila and Pedro and LuCrazy. Geno hopes Lu’s liver will explode from rage.
[Rabbi Jacob: And may all her teeth fall out except one and may that one give her a toothache.
NM: Rabbi, that’s really inappropriate.
Rabbi Jacob: Oy, sorry, I got carried away. That Geno, she’s a good little actress ...]
Fabiola insists that her father must have fired his gun by accident (sin querer). But if he’s acting weird, it must be because of his new girlfriend, la tal Camila.
Meanwhile, la tal Camila is explaining to her skeptical colleagues – ¡malpensadas! – the details of her chaste sleeping arrangements. Geno and Sarita warn her -- Beware the LuCrazyMonster!
[It is nearly sundown and Rabbi Jacob must leave us. He is clearly shaken by what he has seen today and somewhat ashamed of getting caught in the moment. I fear he may be reluctant to return.]
Hah! LuCrazier’s out of her hospital gown and in tight leather. She’s in full stalker mode, sniffing around Mariana’s room where Pedro will be sleeping. Domitila all but sweeps her out.
Outside, Pedro tells the boys Camila is sleeping in his bedroom. Yuk yuk yuk. “¡No sean malpensados!”
Antonio pulls over his shiny red pick-up and gets a phone update from Lu: Camila is sleeping in Pedro’s bedroom.
“¿Qué? ¡No puede ser!”
Calm down, Antonio – the “writers” are just stuck on this “joke”. Pedro hasn’t lost his virtue.
Right now, Pedro is telling the boys he had no choice – he couldn’t leave LuCrazy at the mercy of the brutal Pigorio or let her wander the streets. He has to find a safe place for her. [I’m thinking she’d get three hots and a cot at Mme. Brigitte’s.]
LuCrazy’s job is to make Pedro and Camila argue. Lu seems to be thinking hard. “Wait a sec,” she says, “have you considered what would happen if Pedro’s wife, Mariana ... “
We don’t get to hear the end of her sentence but whatever it is, it brings an evil smirk to Tony’s lips.
Camila, meanwhile, boasts that she’s not afraid of LuCrazy (Though perhaps she should be. The woman is a bunny boiler, if ever there was one.) The issue is Pedro. She’s not sure she can trust him 100%. She wants to check out his story. Geno says she should just talk to him. And she should do it now, “antes de que Lucrecia meta cizaña” (before Lu sows discord.)
LuCrazy and Tony are still yakking it up on the phone. He tells her about the fake news stories. If they don’t do the trick, plan B is to follow Mariana’s trail. They know Pigorio is behind her disappearance and if he has to, Antonio will do whatever it takes to get the truth out of him.
At AlcaTrash, Doris rants on and the Pig rubs his eyes wearily.
At El Tal, Tía throws up her hands at Pedro and Camila acting like big whiny babies:
¡Ay qué necios son los dos!
(Oh what fools you both are!)
Pedro digs in his heels. The problem is that Camila doesn’t trust him.
Pigorio isn’t feeling so hot. He bellows for Alberta. He wants Pancho to come to his room. He brushes off Doris’s suggestion to call the doctor. He’ll call later. He’s sure it’s those capsules – there’s something in them that doesn’t agree with him.
Love is in the air
El Viral notices the pill bottles are sitting out in plain view. She gasps and hurries to conceal them. Renato approaches her and she jumps when he touches her waist. He doesn’t find find her behavior strange. “You’d be the perfect wife” he purrs.
Flor thinks José looks intelligent in his glasses. She invites him to AlcaTrash to meet the psychos. He’d love to but he er... uh ... promised to visit his brother. Yeah. His twin brother.
Fabiola confesses to Alberta that she can’t think of anything but Armaaaando.
Antonio gaves a guy some money to publish an article saying that Pedro killed his wife. [The guy has no lines but his mother is probably making the ladies in her bridge club watch the DVR of the scene over and over.]
Night falls.
The rabbi has made his way home safely.
The F-sisters are also home and chatting about bullets in the wall and what grandpa Pig might have done to make daddy so mad. Flor mentions that José has a twin. Too bad Fabi already has a boyfriend.
Renato escorts El Viral back to her hotel room after wowing her with a pricey dinner that maxed out his credit card. He needs an infusion of capital now. He must woo faster. The next dinner will be in his apartment, just the three of them: he, she and the check. El Viral is smitten!
Doris and Antonio have another skirmish. “I’m divorcing you, marrying Camila and taking the girls” he snarls. “Da lo por hecho” (Take it as a given, literally ‘give it as done’).
The final scene: the upstairs hallway at El Tal. Pedro tries to kiss Camila goodnight but she holds him off with a smile. She’s afraid they won’t be able to control themselves. [Because they’re ANIMALS! Oh yes!]
As soon as Camila closes her bedroom door, Lu slinks out from her hidey-hole and needles Pedro about getting snubbed by Cami.
Alone in the bedroom, Cami reconsiders. Maybe she was a bit prudish – what’s a little kiss, after all?
She opens her door to rejoin Pedro ... just a second or two after LuCraziest has pulled Pedro onto her face.
Camila gives them the stinkeye. The credits roll before Pedro can say “Déjame explicar ...”
Avances: Pedro kicks LuCrazy out of El Tal and Antonio ramps up the Pedro disinformation campaign.

Labels: Talisman

Labels: no-podia