Caray, Caray!

Ariel mocks Alicia for not having enough money to buy new stockings. He says 100 pesos (about US$9) will be enough. He offers her the money and grandly says he knows they cost less, but she can keep the change. She refuses the money, and he scolds her for being so disagreeable about his act of charity. (He takes the cash back, though.) Alicia says she can solve this problem without his money, and tells him to leave her in peace.

He leaves her in peace... for the moment, at least. "You never learn," Martha clucks at Alicia.

Ariel proceeds to spread his sunshine in Luigi's studio, where Aldo is sharing his Deep Thoughts about happy-dancey music with Marcia, Luigi, and (I still don't know why) Ricky Armstrong. "We were speaking of sordid and somber things, and along comes the most somber of them all," Luigi complains. "Glad to see you too," Ariel answers. Marcia tells Luigi not to be rude, and asks him to introduce Ariel and Aldo. Luigi introduces Ariel as a high-ranking executive in Conceptos. (Not true - Ariel doesn't hold a position in the company that I know of, other than partial owner, but considering how little Conceptos is worth right now, that doesn't mean much.) He introduces Aldo as someone who's collaborating on a very important project.

The two A's shake hands and, in answer to Ariel's query, Aldo leisurely explains the whole gastronomical tourism thing. Ariel makes a crack about this being Lety's big plan to save the company from the ruin she made of it; Aldo indicates that Lety wasn't the only person who played a role in the disaster. Annoyed that Aldo knows so much about the Conceptos situation, Ariel says that Aldo doesn't have a right to an opinion and no one asked him for one. Aldo just grins broadly and answers that he could have done this incredibly important project with some other agency, but chose Conceptos specifically (and solely) because of "your president," licenciada Padilla.

Ariel doesn't have much to say to that, so he tells Marcia that he needs to talk to her. Apparently, he means now. The two of them go out to the lobby, but Marcia says she needs to discuss a couple of things with Lety first. Ariel tells her not to take too long, because his matter is very grave. (Remind me again, what is Ariel's contribution to Conceptos? Oh yeah - he sucks up air, coffee, and dignity.)

Out in the lobby, Paula Maria is on the phone with someone, trying to get someone to drive her home, but his (or her) car isn't working.

Sara takes another call from the US Embassy. Flustered, she gets her English and her Spanish a little mixed up, but explains that Fernando must be working on something really important.

Ariel approaches PM. She timidly greets him. He touches her hair and says her new position suits her. She thanks him and says she's at his service. "That's good to know," he says. As he turns away, PM brushes his cooties out of her hair.

Just then, Fern emerges from the stairwell, holding the trashbag behind him. Ariel seems to have a fresh batch of insults ready for him, but they wilt before he can even get started. "Oh, it's trash," he says. He manages to wheeze out a remark about Fern having found his true calling - scavenger.

Fern laughs. (Ariel seems not to recognize this sound.) Fern says Ariel's great. Some of the best people in the world say they don't like Ariel, but not Fern - he likes Ariel just fine. He's funny! (He keeps touching Ariel's jacket. Ariel looks offended.) Fern explains about separating the glass, aluminum, cardboard, paper... he'd heard of recyclable trash, but he had thought it had something to do with bicycles.

I guess Ariel is used to these conversations. He says that if Fern wants, he can order someone to separate the trash. "A million thanks," Fern answers.

Wow. Just imagine what they must have sounded like when they were younger and even more immature. No wonder Teresita prefers Marcia.

Sara tells Fern that the US Embassy has been calling. Fern says he'll talk to them later. He whispers loudly to her that Ariel is the one who smells bad. He excuses himself and goes to his and Omar's office.

"U. S. Embassy, U. S. Embassy," Ariel mutters thoughtfully.

In Ren & Stimpy's, Pinky & the Brain's, etc.'s office, Omar is on the phone with Guillermo, setting up a meeting first thing tomorrow morning (about a month from now, at this rate). Fern leaps over the desk (without hurting himself) and takes the Big Chair. (Omar handles the chair as Fern jumps - I think it's supposed to look as though he's trying to keep Fern from getting it, but he's probably moving it so Fern doesn't break his neck. Just a guess. And thank you, Omar!)

Omar complains about the smell and tells Fern the embassy was looking for him. Fern says he was in the trash, looking for important things. Fern says it was a lot of work, but he found it. "You mean that's the bag of things from Lety?" Fern sarcastically calls Omar a wizard for having divined such a great mystery. He says he's going to present them to their owner. Omar says "over my dead body." (Like anyone could smell the difference?)

Lety greets Marcia politely, and Marcia says they have something delicate to discuss. Before they can go any further, Fern comes in, and hurriedly hides the bag behind his back when he sees Marcia. Lety greets him politely too. So does Marcia.

Marcia and Fern pause to mentally kneel before the Monster Ladyparts Seashell of Doom. Fern says he wants to talk. "You want to talk to me?" Marcia asks. "Not exactly," Fern answers. He says he's there to talk about the project. Marcia says that's great - that's why she's there too, so why doesn't he sit down with them. He says no, maybe we should talk about it in a meeting, some other time. Marcia sarcastically offers to give them some privacy.

Fern struggles to open the door while still holding the bag behind his back. "What smells?" Marcia asks. "Smells like trash," Lety says. "Yeah, like trash," Marcia sneeringly says to Lety. (What a shame Marcia never had a sister.) Lety sighs and rolls her eyes slightly.

Fern goes back into the lobby, cradling the bag. Martha offers to throw it out for him. Lola backs away from the odor. Sara is still struggling with her English/Spanish on the phone and tells Fern that the embassy is calling again. Fern explains that the odor is the smell of Ariel, and asks Sara (half in English) to pass the call to his office. (PM offers to throw out the bag for him, and he refuses, commenting on how helpful they all are.)

Martha says it smells like Fern's been eating rooster. (Maybe she means spoiled chicken.) And speaking of rooster, she's hungry.

Fern goes back to his office and Omar gets the big chair. He reports that Marcia was in Lety's office. The phone rings and they both reach for it. Fern wins. ("Snooze, you lose," he tells Omar.) Fern is told to wait. Fern drops the phone on the desk to bring Omar up-to-date on the events of the last three minutes.

Omar tries to play doctor. (Psychiatrist, that is.) He says Fern's problem, his conflict, is that he's not living in real life. He looks ridiculous carrying that bag of trash around everywhere. He reminds him that Fern once told him he didn't want anything with Lety. Fern doesn't remember this. He thinks maybe he was drunk when he said that. Omar disagrees. Fern says he can't bring himself to throw the things away.

I think Omar then proposes to make a necklace of all the stuffed animals and give them to Luigi and dance with them. (I'm sure I've mangled this.) "Not only are you a pervert, you're kind of gay," Fern tells him. Because of the way he dances. Omar says he's dancing like Luigi. And he says that if Fern wants to get Lety out of his system, he has to start by getting rid of all this junk.

Omar takes a CarvaHallmark out of the bag and begins mocking Fern, "mi Lety, mi Lety, I can't live without you," blah blah blah.

Omar asks Fern if he still thinks he has a chance with Lety. Fern says no... he says it's different than before. It's changed. He's not going to fight. He's got to start getting rid of the ghost of Lety. Omar gives him the bag and tells him he knows what he needs to do.

In Lety's office, Marcia accuses Lety of going back on her word. The cuartel knows the whole incredible, sad story about Lety and Fernando. She thought Lety was a woman of integrity, but what did she expect from a woman who would seduce someone's fiance. Surely Lety was dying to tell the secretaries all the rich details of what had happened.

Lety denies telling them anything, doesn't know how they would know about that stupid story. She says it's too painful for her, and she's left it in the past. Marcia asks if Lety has forgotten what happened. Lety repeats that she's left it in the past. She'll talk to the cuartel and find out what happened.

Marcia says they have very precise information, and were saying that she broke her engagement with Fern because of Lety.

Lety is surprised to hear this. Marcia angrily asks what did she think after she "presented" her with all the gifts and cards Fern had given her. (Funny, that's not how I remember it. How I remember it is that Marcia demanded that Lety show these things to her or else she'd call security and then Lety would have to deal with the wrath of Celso. Lety was kind enough to insist that they open the bag in private, instead of out in the lobby in front of all the nosy secretaries.)

What do you know - Lety remembers it the same way I do. She was not, and is not, interested in letting the cuartel in on the whole story. She asks Marcia if she's forgotten that she had accused Lety of stealing. Marcia suddenly doesn't want to pursue this angle anymore. Go figure.

Lety promises to straighten it all out. Marcia seems annoyed that this will happen "later." Marcia, if there's a time machine around that Lety can use to get this done "earlier," please speak up.

Lety tells Marcia she wants to have a quick meeting, right now, to discuss progress on the project. (Luigi is the only person who can possibly have anything to report!) Marcia sarcastically agrees to show up. Nice to see some enthusiasm for not ending up in the poorhouse, Marc!

Two seconds later, most of the gang (minus Aldo, Omar, and Fern) is in the boardroom. Luigi is giddily enthusiastic and calls Lety "Pre Pre." He explains that it's "precious president." He giggles. He's made lots of progress with Ricky, Caro, and Marcia. Ricky is also giddy and talks about a slogan, logo, music, etc. and does a goofy impression of Luigi. Luigi says they've also worked out the general concept.

I just noticed - I can't see Carolina's highlights. :-(

Fern and Omar show up. Fern tries to take his usual seat between Marcia and Tomas, but everyone reacts to the terrible odor clinging to him. Caro fans the air - yes, she's got a fan too, in addition to the pseudo-kimono and chopsticks.

Oh, ugh, I can almost smell it myself. Wait... I do smell something. Ew, Polly! Jeez!! (My dog has the most exquisite timing!)

Fern reveals that he has not accomplished anything, although it takes him a lot of time (and words, including "gastrological") to explain that. Lety gapes at him as he babbles about nothing. Omar adds that he's set up a meeting with Guillermo for tomorrow.

Lety hands out other assignments. She and Tomas are going to do a budget. She asks Marcia to contact some directors to work with Luigi. Fern reiterates that he and Omar will meet with Guillermo. There are more odor complaints. Fern says his lunch disagreed with him.

Omar is on the phone with Guillermo in his office, saying he'll be at the meeting tomorrow. As he hangs up, Alicia comes in (wearing her new stockings) and says she's cancelled all of her evening's plans to have dinner with him, just as she promised. He says that's too bad, because he's waiting for someone else to confirm a date with him. Alicia asks if it's with a woman. Luigi comes in and tries to kick her out. She shoves him out of the way and offers to be Aldo's second choice (not in so many words) for dinner. He agrees, and Luigi throws her out. He warns Aldo that she's trying to trap him.

Luigi gets a call from Ruli. He leaves to take it in his studio. "It's a zoo," Aldo laughs to himself.

Luigi tells Ruli about Aldo. He's not posessive or controlling. He's like Ruli... at the beginning of their relationship. (Irma, the involuntary eavesdropper, rolls her eyes.) Apparently, Ruli needs to be reminded that he was once understanding, sensitive, not jealous or controlling; loyal, empathetic, tolerant... but he has slowly become a big control freak, just like all men. Luigi asks for just one reason he's ever given Ruli to be that way.

Luigi sends Irma out of the room on an errand. As soon as she's gone, he has a hissy fit, saying he's always behaved well with Ruli, and doesn't deserve to be treated this way. (He stamps his foot.)

Alicia goes back to her desk, and I notice that the chalk line got wiped off the floor. Did I miss something? Who cleaned that up?

Lola's phone rings. "What do you want, homewrecker?" Jazmin is calling to say that Sanchez is here for Lola. Lola nervously wonders what this could mean. PM thinks Sanchez's visit is just an excuse to see his new giiiiiiirlfriend. They all giggle at Sara and joke about the differences in their heights and ages.

Lola doesn't want to go down there and see him, but Sara reminds her of the dangerous new receptionist downstairs. Lola rushes away to meet her fate.

Marcia finally meets with Ariel. He whines about having to wait, and complains about Aldo. Marcia says she likes him okay, and asks what Ariel's grave situation is. They closed the stockbrokers' office (literally, "house of bags") where he's been working. He's out of a job! (Quick - someone tell Alicia so she can punch him next time he approaches her!) He's going to look for another job, but until then, he's got a cash flow problem.

(I laugh. Time passes. Still laughing. Try to go to bed, but can't, because still laughing.)

The car he's been using - it's not his. The money he invested - it's lost. (He blames Fern for this because he thought Conceptos was doing well and he could afford to gamble on something else. Idiot.) He reminds Marcia that Lety said that money had been put aside to pay the shareholders, right?

Marcia confirms this and says "Want an advance on that money? Fine, go talk to Lety!"

He whines that he really needs the advance. Marcia repeats that he has to talk to Lety. She's not going to do it. Ariel says if Lety could shoot someone, he'd be her first victim. Marcia agrees, but says her corpse would be right next to his. He complains that the only thing worse than losing his job, is having to speak to that woman.

Marcia advises her brother not to make fun of Lety. They are in her hands, and now she's a different woman.

Ariel thinks she's not a different woman. She's only where she is due to her errors and the circumstances of the moment. She's just as ugly and neurotic as ever. He sarcastically thanks Marcia for the "support" and leaves.

Caro visits Aldo. She warns him not to have false hopes over Lety. She's sorry to tell him that Lety is still thinking about, and suffering over, Fern. The idea was that she was going to forget about him, little by little, but now they're always near one another.

They wonder when he should tell Lety he loves her. He says he's going to have to look for the right moment. Probably not in the office. He invited her to dinner, and is waiting to hear from her.

Aldo says that if she tells him she's still yearning for Fern, he will fight for her. He wants her at his side. He will dedicate his life to making her happy.

What if she tells him that the only thing that will make her happy is Fern's love?
What then, Dimples?

A phone rings in Lety's office. She looks around and realizes it's her cell phone. It's Tomas. She puts him on speaker, and they talk about how great their phones sound. (It's a brand that rhymes with Granola. Their new car is a brand that rhymes with Bored. Their cell phone service is a brand that rhymes with... uh... MexBel.) Tomas enters her office, still talking on the phone. Ha, ha. He babbles, she types. I'm surprised the Monster Ladyparts Seashell of Doom doesn't send out beams to interfere with the phone signals. Oh well... Lety asks about the stockings. Tomas recounts the Alicia's Pantyhose Caper. He thinks the fact that Alicia eventually accepted them, proves that he's an expert on feminine psychology. Lety scoffs.

Ariel comes in, and I'm starting to wonder if there shouldn't be a lock on that door. People just come strolling through whenever they like. Lety says she's busy. Ariel says it's important AND urgent. Tomas excuses himself.

Here's where it gets weird: Ariel invites Lety to dinner.

Down in the lobby, Jazmin greets Sanchez, who is holding a box of chocolates. They chat and flirt. She tries to get info from him about the divorce. He says his business there is strictly confidential. A lawyer's clients' information is as secret as the confessions they give to priests. He offers to give her a photo of himself. She says the only thing she wants is to find out if Lola will have to sell the house and give half the money to El Cheque. Sanchez refuses to answer.

El Cheque shows up with roses. Sanchez says this is a conflict of grand proportions. Not surprisingly, El Cheque thinks Sanchez is trying to steal Jazmin. Sanchez says she is indeed pretty, but he likes Sara, and the chocolates are for her.

The phone rings. Jazmin doesn't answer "Conceptos" or something businesslike - she answers "Sí, diga." That's fine if you're at home, but not at work. Wonder how long she's going to last at this job?

It's Rosales, calling for Sanchez. El Cheque pulls Jazmin aside. She asks if he has to give Lola any money. He says no, but he thinks they can use Sanchez's interest in Sara to their advantage. Jazmin doubts this, since they're all so unkind to her. He urges her to make nice with Sara.

Back in Lety's office, Ariel says he doesn't understand why she's being so "strange." Hasn't anyone ever invited her to dinner before?

Lety says yes, of course, but never anyone who had said to her face that she looked like a clown, that she couldn't work for a production house, that she was an assault on people's eyes. Ariel admits that he's said all of those things at some time or other, but it's clear that she's now more put-together, and has something that's... very... how to say it... attractive. (This "how to say it" thing is something he borrowed from Aldo's speech earlier in this episode.)

Lety informs him that "this woman" is still the same person as before, and she can't accept his invitation. If he wants to talk to her, she'll check her schedule, and see if she has time tomorrow. Obviously, it will have to be in the office.

Ariel believes she wants to take revenge on him. That's okay. Check her schedule and see when she has time. But frankly, her reaction strikes him as childish. Lety says no, it's not childish, it's just the only way that she can converse with him.

Lety stares at what sure looks to me like a blank screen and says she has time to see him at 4 tomorrow. (I don't mean an empty schedule - I mean she has no windows open on her screen; it's just a big Conceptos logo.) He says that's impossible. He'll be busy all day. (Doing what? Counting all the money he's lost?) How about at night? She says they could meet at 8 PM. He asks if she's busy after that. She says no, and asks if it's going to take him a really long time to talk to her. He says no - it's perfect. He'll come for her at 8.

Lety says no, he's not picking her up. Ariel says if she has no other plans, there's no reason they can't talk somewhere else. Like at a restaurant, for example. Lety repeats, "I'm not going to go out to eat with you."

Ariel accuses her of being afraid, but Lety says she just doesn't understand why they can't discuss whatever it is in the office. He says she won't understand if they don't talk, and whatever they can do here, they can do in a restaurant.

Lety still resists. Ariel asks if she thinks he's going to seduce her. He repeats that he thinks she's scared. In spite of her presidential look and her confident voice, she's still the same insecure woman as always.

Lety says, "Well, that's your opinion and I couldn't care less what you think of me." Ariel says that's fine with him. Tomorrow he'll give her the chance to show him that he's wrong. He adds, "I'll come for you at 8. ON TIME." Lety grinds her teeth as Ariel leaves her office.

It's going-home time. Alicia prances around the lobby with her makeup palette. The cuartel makes fun of her new stockings and ask if they're used. Alicia says she'd die before wearing used stockings. As they all pile into the elevator, they warn her not to tear her new ones as well.

They get down to the main lobby, where Lola has to be restrained when she sees El Cheque. Sara approaches Sanchez, who is so excited to see her, he fails to hang up the phone nicely and merely throws it in Jazmin's general direction. (Again, I wonder what the phone budget is like for this show. The only other TV character I can remember who was nearly as rough on phones was Steve McGarrett.)

Lola tries to talk to Sanchez about the divorce, but he only has eyes for Sara. El Cheque tries to get Sara's attention and calls Sanchez a slob, but Sara ignores him. Lola asks how he can call Sanchez a slob. There is more talk, and multiple parties encourage Sanchez to give the chocolates to Sara. He gives them to her and says sweet things. Sara makes a face that looks like a cross between puckering up, and disgust.

Tomas catches Alicia openly inspecting her stockings. He says they fit her well, and she yells at him for looking at her legs. He says he gave her those stockings with great fondness. She says she only took them because it's an emergency. She'll pay him back tomorrow.

Ariel notices the new stockings too. He asks where they came from. Maybe a female friend loaned them? Alicia is outraged by the suggestion. He says sorry, he forgot - she doesn't have any friends. She protests - it's not that, it's just that she would never wear used stockings.

He conjectures that someone must have given them to her as a gift. Does she have a boyfriend? Is he here, around Conceptos? Alicia steals a nervous glance at Tomas, who is grinning and wiggling his eyebrows hopefully, and says no. (Tomas looks surprised.) Or, maybe it's a lover? A secret lover, who has lots of money? He's told her about his friends that have so much money, and great resources to solve her problems...

"Ariel, please, no more." Alicia looks ready to cry.

I can't wait till she finds out he's almost as broke as she is.

---

Monday
Tomas risks life and limb defending Alicia against Ariel's insults.
Aldo risks life and limb defending Tomas against Ariel's wrath.
Lety pauses in her typing.

Later
Ariel takes Lety to Le Noir, crushes a waiter and eats him whole, then slithers away, leaving Lety to pay the bill.

Useful vocabulary words:
pepenador=scavenger
casa de bolsa=stockbrokers' office
fusilar=to shoot
fingir=to feign (actually heard this in tonight's Mundo, not La Fea, but I really liked it!)

Labels: fea

We open with a repeat of yesterday's episode, in which Diana walks into to Victor Bracho's office. "Good news! After less than 24 hours of stellar performance, you have earned yourself a raise! I'm the owner of this fine establishment and can do as I please." I think this is the "import business'" version of the casting couch. Diana says she believes in earning her promotions. "No hay problema," says Victor. "Do you know how to kiss well?" Diana, who seems to have picked up Larry's intellect, truly seems surprised. A wrestling match ensues on the desk. Just when things are looking truly bad for our beautiful but dumb heroine, who should "just happen" to drop by but Diego. God's gift to Human Resources. He hears the screams of his beloved, and bursts into Victor's office, slugging Victor. We seem to have a pattern here.

***Beefcake alert*** Max and Emili-Oh are at the beach without shirts, showing off their pecs. Where has Emili-Oh been all these episodes? Probably hiding under some shapeless suit. Max is doing push-ups on a ledge. Emili-Oh stupidly asks Max if he is still trying to see Diana and questioning Diana's true motives. "Yes I want to see her, but she wants nothing to do with me. She puts up barriers because I'm married. That tells me she loves me for my mind and not my wallet." "Are you wanting to marry her?" asks Emili-oh. "Yes, of course." Emili-Oh makes some comment, I believe, to the effect that Octave will kill them. Max says he no longer has a bull's eye painted on him; Larry has taken his place on the wall of shame by running off and getting married in Vegas to a servant. Gaby. Diana's sister.

The fight continues at Bracho Importing. Lot's of yelling. Who should appear but Mrs. Victor Bracho. "What is the meaning of this?" asks Mrs. Victor. Victor has some 'splaining to do. It takes all of a millisecond for Mrs. V to figure out what's been going on. Diego tells her Victor is a pig. Diana tells Mrs. V she's a new receptionist and Victor was trying to take advantage of her. Diego and Diana exit stage right. Mrs. V says it's always the same thing with Victor. "I'm tired of you making a fool of me." She then pulls out a gun and starts waving it around. By now the other women are trying to wrestle the gun away from her. Victor runs off and she calls him a coward. You can tell who controls THAT relationship.

Now Emili-Oh and Max are running on the beach, still showing off their shirtless bods. Max says he wants to take Diana out on his boat tomorrow. Emili-Oh tells him storms have been predicted. "No problem," says our feckless hero, "Imagine this, Diana and I trapped in the middle of a storm at sea. She'll be scared and I'll be able to take her in my strong arms." ***Eeeewwww. This is too disgusting to write.*** Emili-Oh (who I'm starting to like more and more now) tells Max he needs therapy. I couldn't have put it better myself!

Camila shows up in Andres' office wearing some skimpy leopard print halter, borrowed from Jos on Mundo de Fieras. A--"Did you bring the money?" C—"Well no. . ." A—Then you can leave the way you came in." Camila says she has something better, a bracelet valued at more than $20,000. Andres asks if it's fake. Camila says, "Any moron can tell it's real." Andres tells her to quit with the insults. He wants to take the bracelet to a jeweler for an appraisal. C—"Why don't you trust me? You don't think I'm capable of having a bracelet such as this?" A—"Why would I trust a woman who abandons her child? If you don't let me get it appraised, then I'm not telling you Diana's secret. Take it or leave it." Camila says "Fine, get it appraised. Then when you find out how valuable it is, call me and tell me the secret." Now here's a guy I'd trust with an expensive piece of jewelry and just his word!"

We're now at a family pow wow with Peyote, Octave, D/M, Bruno, Max and Yolanda. They are discussing finding a new nurse to help with D/M's therapy. D/M is campaigning to have Bruno help her. "What do you think, Max?" Max is silent. Octave suggests he is thinking about the nurse who's a thief. "What are you talking about?" asks Bruno (as if she didn't know). Octave delights in repeating once again that Diana stole her valuable bracelet. Max, as usual, denies Diana is a thief. This would have probably gone on all night, but we are saved by the doorbell. Max tells Octave "If you think you're in a bad mood now, you ain't seen nothing yet!"

In struts Luscious Larry, in that black jacket I love so much, holding Gaby's hand. I must say, his fashionably ripped jeans do nothing for me. You can tell I am no fashionista. Octave tells him to get out. "Not so fast, Mommie Dearest. I have an announcement to make. Gaby is my wife!" Everyone but Max is impactadas! Lots of "looks" exchanged. Peyote gets a huge grin on her face.

Diego and Diana are chatting in Granny's house. Diana thanks him for saving her from that disgusting pig Victor Bracho. Diego apologizes for sending her into the lion's den for at least the third time. "I'm always going to take care of you," says Diego. Then we have the usual conversation with Diana telling him she doesn't love him, him asking her to give him a chance, blah, blah, blah. He tries to lean in for a kiss, but she backs away. Diego begs her "Don't think of me as a friend, think of me as a man!" Right now I'm thinking of him as neither. After Diego leaves, Diana says a prayer asking God to help her forget Max and to let her love Diego. "The noblest of men."

Back to the festivities at Irascible Mansion. Octave asks Larry if this is a joke. "Nope," says Larry, "Gaby is now an Irascible!" "Never!!!!" screams Octave. After more heated exchange between mother and son, Peyote walks up to Gaby and happily says, "Welcome to the family!" The theatrics continue way too long. Octave says, "What do I know, I'm just the owner of the house." "As a matter-of-fact, you're not," retorts Max. "When dad died, the house went to us children. Larry has every right to stay with his wife." More theatrics as Gaby stands there cowering in Luscious Larry's armpit. Finally Yolanda steps in and steers Octave out of the room. Larry asks Lala to prepare a guestroom for Gaby. Poor Gaby is to remain the Virgin Bride.

Andres calls Diana and tells her she needs to visit Doc Evil tomorrow at the hospital. If she doesn't do what they say, they'll tell Max she's a thief who tried to kill Doc Evil. Not only that, what we say at your trial is dependent upon your cooperation. Diana tries to protest, to no avail. Granny walks in and asks Diana why she's so upset. Diana tells her about Andres blackmailing her.

Andres and Doc Evil gloat about their plans for Diana, when she meets them the next day. Andres says they have her in the palm of their hands. Doc Evil asks Andres if Diana will show. "Oh, she'll be here alright!" says Andres confidently. They high-five one another as visions of Diana dance in their heads.

Now Octave is ranting to Yolanda about Larry. Peyote is in the room with them smirking. Octave is wearing some tight-fitting white jacket that doesn't close in the front. As far as I can tell, she is not wearing a camisole or anything else under it. Octave is raving about Larry embarrassing the family, etc. Peyote steps in and tells Octave she thinks it's great that Larry married a servant. This is the new millennium, come join us. "No one cares about these sorts of things any more. Quit taking your frustrations out on us!" The fight escalates and Octave hauls off and slaps Peyote. The bell rings, they come out swinging and the fight is on! Lots of slapping and arms flailing, as they go crashing onto the bed. Octave is not wearing the type of clothes to be doing this sort of activity. Larry and Max run in and try to pull the combatants to opposite corners. Peyote tells Octave she's crazy. Finally Peyote storms out, just about knocking over the television camera as she runs by. In fact, she may have knocked it over because now another camera is on Octave. Octave screams "You are not my children!!!!"

Bruno and D/M are marveling at everything that has transpired this evening. Peyote stomps down the stairs yelling about her mom needing a straight jacket. Meanwhile, Octave is now yelling at Max and Larry. Max tells her she's being hysterical. "You're dang right I am. First a filthy nurse and now a servant! Where have I gone wrong?!" Octave is apoplectic. She finally collapses and Larry and Max carry her to the bed.

Lala and Gaby are in the guestroom listening to the fight. Finally all is quiet in Octave's room. Gaby confesses to Lala about how Larry whisked her off her feet to Las Vegas to get married, but then dumped her in the hotel room while he drank himself into a stupor in the bar. Gaby says she feels wretched about the whole experience.

Diana and Granny are still discussing Diana's predicament. Granny tells Diana not to go to the hospital alone. Diana says something about Diego being volatile. Diana says she has to confront Andres and Doc Evil alone and face her destiny.

D/M is doing her usual nasally whine to Bruno about how Diana has ruined everything between her and Max. Now that Gaby is an Irascible, Diana will inevitably come back to the house. Bruno tells D/M that Octave will never allow it. D/M responds that Octave is all bark and no bite. It's going to be up to D/M to destroy Diana.

Isabel is trying to get the RM (the real Marfil) to eat. Marfil tells Isabel how evil her twin sister is and that Deborah will never let Marfil resume her place as Max's wife. Debora is capable of murder. Isabel doesn't believe it. Besides, Bruno would never let it happen. RM suggests a deal. RM has a boatload of money in the bank, that Max put in her name. If Isabel gives her physical therapy and helps her walk again, she will reward Isabel handsomely.

Some how Octave has changed into a black Frederick's of Hollywood negligee. Max, Larry and Yolanda are still in her room. I'm not quite sure who all was involved with this change of costume. They talk her into getting some sleep. O tells Larry she'll never forgive him for the humiliation he has caused the family. Larry apologizes repeatedly, kisses her hand and leaves. Max tries to get O to forgive Luscious Larry. It was something he did on impulse. Pilar drove him to it.

Peyote is walking along the shoreline, in the middle of the night, repeating "I hate you, Octave, I hate you!!" Suddenly, out from the depths of the ocean, comes the creature of the black lagoon. I swear this scene was stolen from some B-Movie. Make that a C-Movie. It is Pancho! Peyote couldn't be happier. Pancho—"What are you doing here, a society girl like you walking along the beach alone in the middle of the night?" Peyote—"Looking for you. . ." They fall in a heap on the sand and start rolling into the water. I'm sure both actors had a wonderful time removing all that sand from every orifice when the scene was done.

Diana is praying to the Virgincita to save her.

Gaby is sleeping in the guestroom when Octave jumps on her and banishes her to the servants' quarters to sleep.

Diana is leaving the house when Max shows up. She tells him she has a doctor's appointment and needs to catch the bus. He says he won't take no for an answer. Off they go in his yellow Corvette convertible. Diego happens to be walking down the street when he sees Diana getting into the car with Max. Mutual glares are exchanged.

Nancy walks in to Gaby's old room and asks if it's true Gaby is now married to Larry. "Sure is," says Gaby. Lala walks in and tells Nancy to go clean something. Lala asks what Gaby is doing in the servants' quarters. Gaby tells Lala that Octave threw her out of the guestroom.

Now we're following Max and Diana at the marina. Max seems to be the liveliest I've seen him. He's got that "I Feeeeeel Good" James Brown spring in his step. He brings her to the family yacht, which looks like a regular boat to me. She half-heartedly tries to make excuses…the doctor appointment…a storm is coming…but Max won't take "no" for an answer. The doctor appointment can wait and we'll be back before the storm hits. Lots of foreshadowing for the loyal viewing public. He sends Diana to the head to change. He apparently has Larry's knack for picking out perfectly fitting clothes for the Soriano sisters.

Peyote tries to sneak back into the house the next morning. She is clearly doing the "walk of shame." Her hair is no longer curled and she seems to have lost some of her makeup. Octave catches her and starts in with 50 questions. "Who were you with? Rene?" "No mom, I was with someone else." The conversation goes downhill from there and Octave backhands Peyote yet again. Peyote has had enough of being Mommie Dearest's punching bag for all the evils of the world and lets Octave know just how she feels.

Caramel is on the deck waiting as Pancho slithers home the next morning. "Where were you? Diego said you didn't sleep here last night." P—"I was working late. I didn't tell you about it because I know you want out of the business." C—"I want US out of the business." They talk about her stealing his clothes, etc. She asks if he was with another woman. "Of course not!" lies Pancho. Lots of flirting back and forth and talk of a future marriage. "I'm yours, all yours," says Pancho. Life is good in Caramel's little world. In Pancho's, too.

Back to the boat and Diana in the little bikini Max has picked out for her. She's referring to him in "usted" form. He's telling her to use "tu." Now he's getting all breathy as he's telling her he loves kissing her and tasting her lips. She's trying to deflect his compliments. The usual between these two dolts. She's worried about the storm. He's saying it won't hit until later. "It's a beautiful day" as suspenseful music plays in the background. Diana looks nervous. Max looks frisky.

Doc Evil is asking Andres where in the heck is Diana. Andres says he's been trying to reach her by phone without success. Neither of them is happy at the moment and they are vowing to pay Diana back for making fools of them.

Queue the boat with Diana as a hood ornament in her bikini. Max all smiles. Diana all smiles. Lots of sappy music playing in the background (namely Max and Diana's theme song). Laughter. More smiles. Looks of love. Etc.

The fight between mother and daughter continues in Peyote's room. Octave is wearing an extremely low-cut tight top. One sleeve is sort of capped and the other side is a spaghetti strap. Octave calls her daughter a tramp. Peyote calls her mom a wearisome control freak. Octave starts going through Peyote's drawers, pulling out clothing and basically evicting her daughter from the Irascible mansion. As garments are flying, out pops a bag of suspicious white powder. Peyote is impactada and grabs the baggie. More screaming as Octave figures out Peyote is a slut AND a druggie. Yolanda and Larry run in.

Larry is wearing some tight fitting yellow shirt with some sort of yellow filigree across his chest. I prefer his black jacket.

Larry is asking Mom and Sis if they are STILL fighting. I wonder what gave them away. Peyote tells everyone to get the flock out of her room and just leave her in peace. Larry carries out the raving Octave. Yolanda asks Peyote if it's true about the drugs. We then have a Public Service Announcement about the evils of drugs. Yolanda and Peyote exchange "I love you's." Peyote's makeup runs.

RM is sitting in the bed thinking about her evil twin Debora and how Debora will never let Marfil back into the mansion. Isabel walks in saying she was at the bank. RM asks if the money was still there. Isabel says the bank confirmed it. I guess their bank in Miami doesn't have to comply with privacy laws. At any rate, the deal is struck. Isabel will help Marfil walk again, with Isabel promising to not say a word about her therapy to Bruno and especially that "witch" of a sister. Thunder rumbles in the background and lightning flashes! "I will take it to the grave," says the soon-to-be-rich Isabel.

Back to sunny weather on the boat. Max wants to make a toast. Diana tells him she doesn't drink. "Don't worry," says Max. "It's only fruit juice." D—"What are we toasting to?" M—"That we talking, the weather is beautiful, the weather people were wrong, you look hot in that bikini, we're alone, this episode is almost over, we're together, and I love you. We're also toasting because I'm getting divorced." D—"What? You're getting a divorce because of me?" M—"No Diana, I'm doing it for me." He takes both their drinks and sets them down. So much for the toast—no one even took a sip! Sappy love theme is playing in the background. Max tells Diana he doesn't love Marfil. He's not happy. He can't stop thinking about Diana. He wants to kiss her. Diana with her usual half-hearted argument. Max finally swoops in for the kill. Passionate tonsil swabbing and not a Camila or Marfil in sight! The love theme continues.

After too long a period the credits FINALLY roll.

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This is recapper Alex's first posting. But as he was having trouble uploading, I am posting it for him. Enjoy (NinaK)
Warning: This episode has many, many short, talky scenes. (Note from NinaK--all the episodes have many many short talky scenes!)

We start today’s capítulo with a replay of Max and Marfil by the pool. Max, who has added “attractively serious” to his repertoire of expressions, tells Faux Marfil that he wants a divorce. She responds with that annoying, wounded piglet squeal and the glycerine flows. He has to give her a chance, she sobs, wait until she gets well. Her pleading crescendoes to a shrill, unintelligible whine that makes my hand just itch to slap her. (Fortunately for me, Bruna owes her one.) Max tells Faux Marfil that they’re adults and need to look at the present, not the future. She starts bleating about Diana; he tells her to leave Diana out of it; more shrieking and sobbing about the injustice of it all, or something to that effect. Bottom line: Faux Marfil is distraught and wants to die. Max tells her that she’s young, very beautiful, and deserves a man who loves her. Max is no longer that man. He leaves, and the fiera in Faux Marfil comes out. Stopping just short of turning her head in a complete circle and foaming at the mouth, she heatedly declares to the absent Max that he will never divorce her, never.

Back to Octavia and the purloined emerald bracelet: As she comes down the stairs with Yolanda, Octavia announces that she wants charges brought against the Soriano sisters. One, or both of them, stole the bracelet. Yolanda advises her not to proceed without proof and suggests that maybe Octavia just lost it. While Octavia insists that it was stolen, I marvel how her surgeon, hairdresser, and personal shopper all joined forces to make her look like the love-child of Jaclyn Smith and Tanya Roberts.

Faux Marfil provides a surprisingly welcome interruption by traipsing into the room in her kitten-heeled FM shoes, pushing her walker like a grocery cart. She tells Octavia and Yolanda the bad news. Yolanda (who inherited her powers of intellect from the same ancestor as Larry), asks Faux Marfil if she misunderstood Max. Octavia turns on Yolanda, blaming her for having brought Diana into their happy home. Faux Marfil resumes her faux tantrum. Octavia silences her and intones “The last word has not yet been spoken.” I wait for her to underscore this portentous declamation with a slow sweep of the arm as she “scans the house,” but she disappoints me. Bruja. Instead, Octavia assures our Whiny Blonde Weasel of her support. But Faux Marfil wants more: She wants Octavia to exercise her matriarchal authority and forbid Max to divorce her. Octavia darkly vows that she will never allow Max to divorce Marfil and marry a poor girl like Diana.

Back in the kitchen, with the horrors of the Bracelet Interrogation now behind her, Nancy cheerfully pours herself a glass of O.J. She tells Lala about the Truth Bomb by the pool. Lala’s not amused. In a rare display of perspicacity, Nancy observes that the Max-Marfil divorce is like something out of a telenovela. She goes on to suggest that maybe Gaby and/or Diana stole the bracelet. Lala is Outraged. She chastises Nancy by stoutly declaring that the Soriano girls are incapable of taking what doesn’t belong to them. Nancy looks appropriately chagrined.

On the other side of TeleMiami, Gaby brings Luscious Larry a glass of mango juice. He tells her it’s delicious and to sit down next to him because they need to talk. Gaby gingerly takes a seat at the end of the couch. He says he is sorry that his mother fired her. Gaby agrees that it was unfair, but there’s nothing to be done about it. It’s Octavia’s house, she can fire anyone she likes. Gaby could never go back. But wait. Larry has something rare and wondrous: An idea. She could come back as his wife! He needs her. Not knowing when to stop, he tells her about Pilar’s call for help. While it pains her greatly, Gaby does the Right Thing. She urges him to rescue Pilar and try to be happy with her. Larry nixes that. Pilar doesn’t deserve his help or forgiveness. He pleads with Gaby to to marry him so that he can avoid being trapped into marriage with Pilar. As further proof that he’s a romantic and sensitive kind of guy, Larry proposes a Vegas wedding, then removes her glasses and takes her in his arms. Does she cave? I think we all know the answer to that one, girls and boys. It’s not like Gaby has a spine, or self-esteem. And Larry may be a doofus, but he’s a buff doofus who looks like Brad Pitt with puppy-dog eyes and an oh-so-kissable mouth. Of course she caves.

Over at Bracho Imports, Diana has validated Diego’s recommendation by becoming an ace receptionist before lunch. Julietina? Ovaltina? Okay, fine, Tina congratulates her. Unlike that pack of zorras who preceeded her, Diana is intelligent as well as pretty. Diana recounts her refusal of Bracho’s offer of a ride home and Tina gives her a stern warning. He’s a wolf. Tina knows what she’s talking about. Her tone of voice intimates that she’s a wee bit bitter she doesn’t speak from personal experience.

Octavia walks into Max’s bedroom. His glistening chest tells us that he is fresh out of the shower and his blue bathrobe nicely complements Mamita’s black-lace-over-blue-rayon cocktail dress with the plunging neckline. Just the thing for a morning at the office. But I digress. They argue about the divorce until Max concedes that he’ll wait for Marfil to recover taking action. (Baaaad move, hombre. Faux Marfil won’t be tossing out that walker any time soon.) He’s not content to leave it at that, however. He informs Mamá that once he’s free of Marfil, he’ll be happy his own way. Octavia is not down with that. If Max gets married to that dirt-poor nurse she’ll disinherit him. What’s more, she will destroy Diana’s life. Diana will curse the day she ever set foot in Casa Irazabal. She’ll curse the hour she was born. There will be no end of cursing in Diana’s future.

On that warm and fuzzy note, we cut to Camila and Silvia, who are wandering about in a warehouse? nightclub? restaurant? I can’t quite tell. They have trouble seeing, too, although it doesn’t occur to them to remove their sunglasses. Silvia has an unflattering new coiffure. She must have made quite a haul when she raided Jennifer Garner’s wig collection. Anyway, they stumble upon Pancho and his henchmen, who immediately pull guns on them. Camila explains that she had called earlier about selling some jewelery. Pancho demands to see what she’s got. She hands over Octavia’s bracelet. Without a jeweler’s loupe or even proper lighting, Pancho accurately appraises it with just a brief squint. He asks how much she wants for it. Camila decides that she could use twenty grand herself to stock up on designer hot-pants and FM shoes, so she jacks the price up to $40,000.00.

Larry and Gaby are at the airport, on their way to Las Vegas. This is basically a filler scene. Move along, folks, nothing to see here.

Either I missed something or Diana’s proud resolve is as short-lived as her memory. She’s in the car with Victor the Wolf, thanking him for the ride. He goes from telling her what a pleasure it was to how incrdibly beautiful she is and finishes with “I could steal a kiss from you.” Like any self-respecting Good Sex Kitten menaced by a Bad Studmuffin, Diana is impactada. Victor persists, they argue, she threatens to deck him. This exchange informs Victor that he’s dealing with the Mucha Mujer variety of Good Sex Kitten. He finally claims he’ll behave and Diana finally gets out of his car. As she watches him pull away, who should jog up but Diego, the faithful swain who launched her on this glamorous new career. She gives him the Cliff’s Notes version of what transpired in the car and assures him that she’ll slug Victor if he tries anything. Gallant gent that he is, Diego does not hide his relief at being absolved of rescue detail.

Larry and Gaby are still at the airport. She’s having second thoughts, she can’t just run off without a word to Granny or Diana. He tells her again how much he needs her, blah, blah, blah, Pilar, blah, blah, blah. He leans in for a close-up. Can she resist those big brown eyes with the dreamy lashes? Could anyone? Gaby’s inner conflict is emphasized by the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor that courses down her cheek.

Max and Emilio are having a drink in Emilio’s office. Emilio asks how Marfil took the news of the divorce. Not well. Lala calls Max on his cell phone. She tells him about the missing bracelet and Octavia’s insistence on reporting Diana to the police. Max almost succeeds in looking attractively impactado and says he’ll take care of it.

Back at Casa Irazabal, Faux Marfil is raging to Bruna. The idea that that idiot Max would want to divorce her! Well, not divorce her, Debora/Faux Marfil, but divorce Real Marfil. (I’m not quite following her line of reasoning as Real Marfil is no prize, either, but Faux Marfil isn’t exactly the brightest fiera that ever bared fangs.) Bruna says the whole thing is the nurse’s fault, and we can see her all but salivate over the mental image of shapely Diana in her thin cotton scrubs. Faux Marfil swears to Bruna that that cheap little thing won’t take Max away from her.

Meanwhile, the sale of Octavia’s bracelet isn’t going as planned. Pancho tells Camila that he’ll give her $10,000.00 for it. She says no deal, snatches back the bracelet, and stalks out with Silvia in tow. Pancho tells one of his henchmen to follow them. He wants them to learn the extent of his power. The henchman enlists a colleague and and they set off in hot pursuit of our plucky ingénues. Camila and Silvia realize they’re being followed and make a run for it, just as fast and far as their pleather go-go boots can carry them. They make it to the parking lot out back. Cunningly taking a page from Agent Sydney Bristow’s book, Silvia suggests that they hide in the dumpster. They’re barely inside when the the henchmen come running past.

Cut to Diana at home, thanking the Virgin for helping her get the receptionist job. She asks that Gaby find something, too. She also asks that Gaby no longer suffer for her love for Larry. And come to think of it, she doesn’t want to suffer for Max, either. He belongs to another woman. With her to-do list for Our Lady of Unemployment all checked off, Diana turns away without so much as an “Amen” to address the absent Max. She wonders aloud when she will see him next, even though it’s better that they never meet again.

Max enters Octavia’s office. caustically remarks that he must have informants in the house. He warns her not file charges against Diana. She asks if that’s a threat and he affirms that it is. She plays the filial loyalty card to no avail. Max tells her he will hire a lawyer to defend Diana if Octavia persists. Max will defend Diana from Octavia, from the whole world if need be. They lock eyes as well as horns. They’re Serious. They Mean It.

Camila and Silvia/Lucy and Ethel emerge from the dumpster. For some reason having shredded paper clinging to their hair is more than alarming being pursued by hired gunmen and they scream as they claw at their hair.

At Casa Soriano, Diana helps Granny set the table while the dear old soul wonders what happened to Gaby. Granny leaves the room and Gaby calls, right on cue, to answer that very question. She tells Diana what’s going on. Diana is impactada and tries to talk some sense into Gaby. Baby Sis rehashes how much Luscious Larry needs her. Gradually he’ll forget Pilar and love her instead. She gushes on and finally a glum-faced Diana wishes her the best.

Meanwhile, Larry enters the Vegas hotel room. Evidently he has an eye for women’s clothing that’s almost as keen as Pancho’s eye for gemstones. While Gaby was on the phone, he was out buying her a wedding dress. She loves it, a low-cut little number made of off-white stretch fabric. All she needs to go with it is a pair of ice skates and a ticket to the Winter Olympics. Larry heads for the bathroom with a box of his own. Something tells me that he bought some smokin’ hot wedding briefs and wants to try out a few new poses in them.

Octavia is dining with the clan. She’s cranky. She has a perfume empire to run. Her MS Outlook calendar is with shady deals, industrial spy jobs, acts of sabotage, all kinds of mayhem. And here she’s had to spend the whole day dealing with hysterical invalids, thieving slut-nurses, and sons who won’t be forced into blind, loving obedience. Yes, Octavia has good reason to be a grumble-bunny. She asks when Larry is going to to get over his depression and come out of his room. Yolanda defends him. Faux Marfil isn’t having any of this. Larry can’t be the center of attention when he’s not even in the room. She decides to pipe up, artfully adopting the tone of a pouty four-year-old to signal her innocent victim status. Larry’s not the only unhappy camper at Casa Irazabal, not by a long shot. Max knows what’s coming and thinks “Oh, God, not again.” I’m with Max on this one, but Paola hasn’t heard about the divorce, so it gets rehashed for her benefit. Octavia and Max argue again. Yolanda tries to make peace. Faux Marfil apologies for “unintentionally” causing a family squabble. Max congratulates her on a job well done anyway, states that no one has a say in his business, and leaves the table. Octavia orders him to return, but he ignores her. Faux Marfil whimpers that she loves him, doesn’t want to lose him, and so on. Again, I want to slap her. Again, Octavia utters dark vows. Again, no grandiose, melodramatic gestures. Damn.

Back in Vegas, Larry and Gaby become Señor y Señora Irazabal. (The ceremony, much to my disappointment, was not conducted by an Elvis impersonator.) Afterwards, Larry carries her across the threshold of their hotel room, sets her on the bed, and tells her he has to go downstairs a minute to call Max with the happy news. She decides to follow suit and calls Diana, who is less than enthusiastic about this turn of events.

Meanwhile, it’s Max’s turn to be dismayed when Lunkhead Larry calls from the hotel bar. He doesn’t sound too happy as he gives Max the scoop. Max tries to look attractively impactado. He doesn’t succeed.

Camila and Silvia turn up at Emilio’s apartment. At least I’m assuming it’s his -- he comes out in a bathrobe and asks them where they’ve been, why they’re all worked up. Silvia almost spills the beans, but Camila tells her to keep her “spectacularly stupid” mouth shut and storms out. Ouch.

While we were sitting through the filler scene above, it slowly began to dawn on Larry that marrying the maid just because she loved him might have more serious consequences than, say, buying a new pair of Speedos just because they were on sale. The Little I.Q. That Could was working hard! Go, Larry! Aw, he’s sooo cuuute! All right, enough of that. Max runs down the list of reasons why marrying Gaby was a Bad Idea. Larry agrees all the way down the line. Unfortunately, the Little I.Q. That Could ran out of steam when it got to “What Next?” Max doesn’t have any bright ideas right now, either, so they hang up and Larry chugs down four fingers of Scotch.

The next scene begins with an ocean liner cruising by. Why, I don’t know, unless it’s carrying the drugs/guns/women “imported” by Victor Bracho. Either way, Bracho Imports is where we’re going next. The thirty-something blonde who explained the phone to Diana is now dishing the dirt on her to Tina. Cómo te crees, Diana accepted a ride home home from the Big Bad Wolf in spite of their warnings. That pistol packin’ mama known as Mrs. Victor Bracho would become a fiera if she found out. Diana arrives and is promptly busted. Blondie tells Diana that her offense is grounds for immediate dismissal by Sra. Bracho. Just to make sure she gets it, Tina spells it out for her. Victor Bracho is only interested in going to bed with Diana. And again, to my surprise, Diana is impactada. Did she really believe that Victor the Wolf wanted just a kiss? I’m sorry, but I’ll believe in the Satanic Duck that kills people foolish enough to put on the Necklace of Doom in La Estrambótica Anastasia before I’ll believe that! That’s just messed up.

Faux Marfil is sunbathing by the pool, wearing a red bathing suit with appliquéed brown flowers. (We’re talkin’ seriously tacky beachwear, enough to get someone “auf’ed” on Project Runway.) Not wanting to be outdone, Camila shows up in that staple of every Bad Sex Kitten’s wardrobe, the leopard print halter top. After a brief, catty exchange, Camila tells Faux Marfil that the bracelet sale was a bust. Faux Marfil gets agitated. We can tell she is agitated because she’s doing a darn good imitation of a Stepford wife set at the wrong speed. She rehashes the whole dreary tale of why she needs that money. Camila demonstrates far more patience than I during this rant and ends the conversation by declaring her intention of going back to Andrés and giving him the bracelet as payment.

And speaking of Andrés, here he is, in Dr. Evil’s hospital room. He fills in Dr. Evil on the deal with Camila. The good doctor replies that if la zorra de Camila comes up with twenty grand, ten of it is his. He’d like to shovel up the dirt on Our Heroine for nothing, to sink her, to ruin her reputation, etc., etc., but if he can make a little profit to boot, hey, why not? (He makes a good point. It was his idea to frame Diana in the first place. If there can be honor among thieves then I don’t see why there can’t be intellectual property laws as well.) After they’ve settled financial matters, Andrés and Dr. Evil agree
to show Diana who they really are. They will bring her down. She will be at their mercy.

At this point I feel compelled to tally up the number of characters who are panting after Diana. I come up with seven, if you count Bruna. Diana’s got her hands full, all right.

That would be Diana’s cue, but instead we see Sra. Bracho arrive, presumably at Bracho Imports. Her hand is trembling as she takes the gun out of her purse. Apparently she’s not such a fiera after all. Cut to Victor, who summons Blondie to his office. She comes in and is reduced to a simpering, quivering mass of jelly by his red-hot Bad Boy vibe. He tells her to send in the new telefonista and not to let anyone interrupt them. Blondie exits with a lewd giggle and smirk. Victor tells us that he’s going to take Diana to bed. This news flash does not leave me impactado.

Time to check in on the newlyweds. It’s morning when Larry staggers into the hotel room, fetchingly rumpled, tie askew. Gaby has exchanged her white skating costume for a white bathrobe. (Light bulb over my head: Ahhh, she’s la esposa virgen still! But that’s another telenovela.) After gently rebuking her Dream Husband for spending the night in the bar, she tells him she was worried, not knowing where he was or with whom. Why didn’t he call her? Why on their wedding night? (Why didn’t she just go down to the bar? That’s what I ‘d like to know.) Larry kind of tells the truth – one drink led to another, then another, and so on. He flops onto the bed, muttering, then asks Gaby to take off his shoes. Gaby obeys, needless to say, and Larry mumbles “I don’t love her…I don’t love her…” before sinking into a complete stupor. Gaby is taking the virgin bride thing pretty hard. Why did he leave her alone? He’s going to be the first man in her life, and…and…and the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor courses down her cheek.

Victor freshens his breath in preparation for his renewed attack on Diana’s virtue. Enter Diana. I haven’t been able to fully appreciate the unique ugliness of her dress before now. It somehow manages to look both frumpy and slutty, and that’s quite an accomplishment. Oh, yes, the plot. So Victor tells Diana he’s giving her a raise. He circles in on her. He’s the boss, he can give out raises after less than 24 hours. She moves over to the desk. She’d rather earn the raise first. He moves in again. She can earn that raise, all right. Diana hopes to earn it by doing good work, and she knows how to do that. Uh oh. Before Diana realizes that she’s acorralada between Victor Vicor and his fine office furnishings, he goes for it, pinning her against the desk. As they struggle, he tries to make himelf heard over the ominous music and Diana’s extremely loud panting, then decides “The hell with it” and kisses her with all his brute force.

Roll credits.

Labels: acorralada

Diana and Max are on the yacht. What a beautiful day, in spite of the predicted storm. More back and forth about how he is going to divorce his wife, he loves her, please kiss me, no. Finally she kisses him.

Yolanda is lecturing Larry about how he and his sibs are going to make her die of a heart attack. They should take lessons from the great role models of adults they have around. But Auntie, we have a right to live our own lives. Still, Larry agrees he made a mistake to marry Gaby. Yes, I can’t forget Pilar. I don’t love Gaby, and the worst is I never will.

D/M is trying to call Max. He left his cell phone off. He’s at the beach. She pouts.

More boring kissing and cooing between Max and Diana. She’s fed up with him. But wait a minute. The yacht is moving too much. Brilliant solution? Diana jumps off and starts swimming to shore! He jumps in after her.

Back to house. Octavia is fuming at her children to Yolanda. They will kill me. Larry commits the barbarity of marrying a servant. Max wants to divorce Marfil because he is in love with a nurse. Paola takes drugs and spends the night on the beach with a strange man. She is like a streetwalker. She’s disgusting. This is a curse of god for what I did to Gaviota. And I was your accomplice, says Y. We destroyed her unjustly. We took her fortune and made her a beggar. But don’t cry for her Yolanda. Here I am not exactly sure what she was saying: Something about God and vengeance, and no one but God can get Octavia Irazabal, I think.

Paco is looking at his picture of “Alicia.” I never knew if you loved me or if it was real. But my wounds and scars are healing little by little since I met Gaviota. Gaviota comes in. Are you busy? Never too busy for you. I need a favor. I need to see Diana and Gaby at their house.

Diana and Max manage to swim safely to shore.

Paco and Gav plan to go visit Granny and the girls when the storm stops. Gav says that she must see them because ever since she found out they work at that darned Irazabal mansion she is very worried. Paco says she feels they are like her own girls. She hopes that hers are doing as well. Paco says he would give whatever he could to erase her sadness.
He kisses her and she lets him. Gaviota, that is the first time that you let me kiss you. I never denied I loved you. You deserve someone good. You are wonderful and noble. Someday you and I could be together, but my priority is not love. It is to find my daughters and get revenge on Octavia.

Gaby is in her little room. Lunkhead comes in. He apologizes for his mother having put her there, but then says, well, maybe it's better if you stay here or we stay apart. He kind of chides her for letting his mother roll all over her (but of course he never defies Mom!). It's not completely clear. Larry kisses her on the head and looks up with a prayerful expression. Please God don't strike me dead for doing this. I have things to do. I will return later.
Poor Gaby. She looks very sad. He doesn’t even love me a little bit.

D and M still caught in storm. Diana is scared. It is dark. Don’t worry, says big brave he-man Max. I won’t let anything happen.

Back to bar. Lorenzo is talking about the record storm, but Paco isn’t listening. He says, oh, yes—for the first time, Gaviota let me kiss her. More mooning.

Diana and Max are still in the storm; then they see a place to go inside.

D/M is complaining to Bruno that Max went out to the beach with Diana. But this storm will ruin their day. But they could go to a motel. How I hate this “muerta de hambre.” This epithet keeps popping up lately. Although it literally means "dead of hunger," it is used for an insignificant trashy low-class person.

Isabel calls D/M on the phone. Is that Deborah. Yes, she answers, who is calling? (Our cleveridentity thief always on the ball with her answers.) It’s Marfil. Isabel is holding the phone to Marfil’s ear. RM says:
I warn you that I won’t let you steal my identity and my husband. I am the real Marfil. The true wife of Max. You are a usurper and one day I will throw you out.

D and Max go into a shack. Diana becomes hysterical all out of proportion. More don't worries from Max.

Back to D/M Well, my dear sister, she says sarcastically. How nice to talk to you. She throws Bruno out of the room. Bruno wants to talk to RM. No dice. For the first time we get to see this actress on the split screen. A double whinny.

D/M says RM should be happy that she is filling in. Your two years unconscious have left you stupid. I am watching out for your interests. You know Max wants to be with that gross, social climbing nurse. Now we get to learn about the dark secret from the past: Pay attention, boys and girls: RM says. You were always ambitious, and envious. You hated me because I married a millionaire. You envied me in school when I was a better student. You never forgave me because papa loved me better because I was better behaved. You want revenge and to take my whole life. My enemy is not the nurse: it is you. D/M says RM doesn’t know what she is talking about. Your two years unconscious have atrophied your brain. RM promises to come and unmask D/M.

Back to shack. More hysteria from Diana.

Granny is talking to Diego. They are worried about Diana. She is out in the storm--and with a married man, no less.

Back to shack. Diana is still hysterical, but Max wraps her in a blanket. More boring entreaties from Max. She drops the blanket and they start kissing. Max's kissing technique seems to me chomping on Diana's upper lip.

The twins are still fighting. I am Marfil--no I am. etc.
RM wants D/M to put Bruno on the phone. She always helps me. Well, too bad. Bruno is a two-face. RM says, I hate you, Deborah for what you have done. Pudrete! (rot away). RM enlists Isabel to help her get up and get back to unmask the imposter.

Diana lying with Max in shack. I told you that I won’t let anything happen to you. But you are married. Don’t say her name. At this moment it is “sale sobrando.” (This apparently means "not necessary." More mush and lip chomping.

Bruno, having been gratuitously humiliated by D/M, goes to the servants quarters to gratuitously humiliate someone even lower: Gaby. Just because you have married an Irazabal doesn’t mean you have risen above me. Ha! Etc. You will continue to be a “muerta de hambre.” Gaby begs for mercy, but no. You don’t even have the power to get your husband to come to bed. (Ouch, that hurts, esp. coming from a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.)

Larry is lying on his bed and looking at picture of Pilar. I can’t hate you. If you came back I would take you back.

D/M still threatening that RM won’t get back into the house.

Back to the little house. Andres is there. Auntie asks why he's out in the storm. He asks for whiskey. She says it's too expensive. I only have rum. (huh?) They down two rums and discuss Auntie’s financial arrangements for taking care of RM. Don’t they pay rent? Yes, I don’t have to pay rent, so out of my salary, that is profit (“ganancia”).

Auntie is still trying to get him to look at the girl. Imagine that the twin sister has taken her identity. This poor girl can’t go back. What does she look like? Andres asks. Beautiful. Why don’t you look or talk to her. She is very upset. You could entertain her. No, we are spared that revelation for another day.

More wet kissing between D and M.

Diego and Granny are lamenting. Rain has stopped. I hope Diana comes home soon. Diego says, don’t let Diana be with Max anymore. He is going to hurt her. I don’t like it either, says granny. I always taught her morals. But she is going with a married man. The truth is that when women are in love we become stupid. With three or four nice words we give in. Now Gav and Paco are at the door. Diego introduces them. She is the lawyer who will defend Diana.

At the little house. Andres won’t meet RM. He says he has to get back because he has to do something with a jewel (the emerald bracelet).

Back at Granny’s they are chatting about the girls and how Granny raised them. The doctor wants to destroy them and it is terrible. I cared for those girls like mother and father. Gav says that it must have been sad for Granny to lose her daughter. She knows because her daughters were stolen. Granny is shocked. Who could be capable of that? (Audience, doesn't granny know who their real mother is? I don't get this.)
Gav reveals the shocking name: Octavia Irazabal. You know her. The same person where these girls work. Since I learned that Diana was working there, I begged that they wouldn’t go. They must avoid being a victim of this trash. Gav begins to get worked up.

Gaby comes in and is crying. Asks Granny to forgive her for something stupid. I got married without telling anyone. I got married to Larry. y dios mio. Gaviota drops her cup and stares.

Diana has more fear. It’s not fear of the storm but fear of what will happen to us. More promises from Max to divorce his wife. But your mother hates me. Nothing will stop us, says Max, with one of his best constipated looks.

Back at the hospital, Dr. Evil is discussing the pulsera with Andres. Andres tells him the jewel is real. Doc Evil reminds him that they have to split the profits. Andres says it isn't fair, but Doc reminds him that Andres wouldn't have the secret without him. (Is the secret about Diana's trial or is it about her mother being a murderer? I'm still not sure about this either.)
Andres says that Camila is desperate to know the truth. (If he only knew the truth about Real Deborah!) Let her wait. Something about how if you tell her she will tell Max and the nurse will escape. The logic of this escapes me. We can’t let her get away without our eating this ripe fruit. Keep pressuring her.

Gaby is crying to Granny. I married Larry because he begged me. You shouldn’t have. He used you, and now his mother will reject you. Typical of an Irazabal, says Gav. At the mention of Octavia, Gav becomes irrationally incensed. Slowly I turn . . . I guess 20 years in the clink will do that to you.

Gaby tries to defend Larry although admitted he behaved badly by leaving her in the hotel on her wedding night. Granny says: Forget him. You have life ahead of you. You will find someone better. Forget him. Gav has other sage motherly advice: Forget, no! What they have done is a humiliation. You must begin to hate and get revenge on them. Pull yourself up and go! They have to suffer like they make you. Granny protests.

Gav gets madder. You must make him pay. All I ask is that you hate the Irazabals with all your fuerza. (strength/heart/soul.) Then she looks a bit sheepish and leaves. Paco tries to make up for the awkward moment. She is very passionate about the Irazabals, he points out. Paco leaves.
Gaby goes on bed with her stuffed animals. She should go hang out with Granny DS. Granny wants her to forget Larry, but she can’t. If only he would love me a little.

Yolanda is having another one of her filler talks with Larry. Forget Pilar. You are married to Gaby. Pilar is no good. No Auntie, I don’t love Gaby, and I never will. Yolanda doesn't know that Pilar called from Mexico.

Back to the yacht. The sun is now out. You are so beautiful. They have kissed and done who knows what. Max walks away. Diana says. Ay Dios Mio. I hope I don’t regret giving in.

Labels: acorralada

Lety and Caro talk about the campaign. Caro reports that she and Aldo spoke to Guillermo, but he’s been waiting for someone from Conceptos to call him. Lety says she charged Omar the Imbecile with that task. She doesn’t even looked surprised that he didn’t do it. Caro says that Aldo and Luigi are already making great progress on the concept and stuff related to the campaign. Suddenly Lety looks distracted.

PM sweetly asks Saimon what time he is going to take her home. Saimon argues that he should have her dance partner take her home. She denies that she knew him but he doesn’t believe her. PM whines. He says he will need to verify that she has ended her relationship with that guy. He says until then he will be cold like an “icehurg” Sarah corrects his English, saying it’s “iceburg.” Saimon mimes closing a door between him and PM, then locking many locks on it. PM mimes being stuck behind the door. Sara yells at Saimon because he has not delivered the phone message to Fern yet. Saimon apologizes and then quickly unlocks the imaginary door to get past PM on his wait out to find Fern. Sara giggles with PM about what a ridiculous boyfriend she has.

Luigi catches Tomas hiding behind a potted tree and demands to know what Tomas is doing. Tomas claims he was walking around exploring the building. He anxiously tears leaves from tree. Luigi calls Tomas a few names before walking away. Alicia wonders loudly why people would want to walk around when they’d do just as well to sit in their office with the door closed and the blinds shut. She walks away and Tomas, now alone with Aldo, gives Aldo a ‘Why I oughta…” look.

Fern continues his search for the bag o’ memories in the dumpster. The sanitation guys try to stop him. Fern says it’s his company. The garbage guys correct him, saying that it was his company. They argue back and forth. Fern threatens to have them disciplined for taking the garbage out, even if it is their job. They agree to leave him alone.

Saimon finds Fern and asks if Fern’s is financial situation so bad that he has to go through garbage.

Aldo asks Tomas why he looks so mad. Tomas crossly mutters under his breath. He says it’s Aldo’s fault that Tomas suffered an embarrassment in front of Alicia. Aldo then mutters to himself in an exaggerated, comical way. Tomas says “What? I can’t understand you!” Aldo responds that he can't understand Tomas either. Aldo asks what he did wrong. Tomas lists Aldo’s offenses: blue eye, blond hair, charisma, smile like Clark Gable, etc. Tomas tells Aldo he doesn’t like him because he’s handsome. Aldo starts in on his Deep Thoughts about looks and character, but when he tries to put his arm around Tomas, Tomas shoves him away and says attractive people are the root of all evil. Luigi comes back looking for Aldo and the two walk away.

PM whines about having to take bus because Saimon is still ticked off with her. Alicia hears this and makes fun of them. Same old back and forth as always: “you guys are so poor”… “ well, you’re poor too”… “Not me, I’m classy.”

Martha remember how badly they’ve seen Alicia treat Tomas. She tells the cuartel that thinks Tomas and Alicia had something to do with all the shenanigans around here.

Lola, who I guess did a great job analyzing The Letter, spells it out for her friends: Lety was with Tomas, then she became Fern’s lover. That resulted in the abrupt end to Fern and Marcia’s wedding plans. Now it looks like Tomas also had a fling with Marcia’s best friend. What a scandal What horror! What promiscuity! What an embarrassment!

Tomas comes in and calls Lola to his office. Before she leaves, she tells them what a nutcase Tomas is, he’s worse then the rest of the execs put together.

Fern denies that he is garbage picking. Saimon finally remembers the phone message from Sarah and tells Fern. He’s not interested. He explains that he’s looking for some important documents. Saimon offers to help and begins to look through the trash. He picks up a bag up and Fern tears it away and holds it to his chest like a 3-year old with his blanky. He sends Saimon away. After much pontification about leaving, Saimon finally leaves. Fern shakes his head then goes back to sifting through the trash.

Turns out Tomas called Lola into his office so she can dial a number and transfer the call to him. Lola dials the number. Tomas’s cell phone rings. It seems he had her dial his own cell. He says he just wants to test the phone and walks around asking “Can you hear me now?” Lola asks if there is anything else he needs. Tomas says “Yes, that blonde… what’s her name? Oh yes, Alicia… I asked her to come to my office and she hasn’t so send her in.” Lola, armed with her new-found theory about Tomas and the Oxi, looks annoyed.

Lola sends Oxi to Tomas’s office. Alicia can’t imagine what Tomas wants. In his office, Tomas gargles with cologne just like the good old days. Alicia comes in and Tomas reminds her of the conversation where she slapped him and blamed him for her losing her car (days ago for us but only hours ago for them). He says he wants to make it up to her. She suddenly warms up and begins to flirt “Aaaaay Tommy!” She asks if he is going to give her a raise. No. Is he going to give her the loan she needs? No. He picks up a bag and pulls out a pair of pantyhose. She thanks him nicely then starts yelling at him and slapping him with the pantyhose before storming out. Tomas looks hurt. He holds the pantyhose to his chest and exclaims, “She still loves me!”

Fern is losing patience and says things are always in the last place you look (that’s because once you find it, you stop looking… pa-dum-pah!). He finds some gross garbage before finding what may be the right bag. He feels the bottom of the bad and thinks that it’s either a stuffed animal or a used diaper. He reaches in and pulls out a cute leopard print giraffe. He lets out a big sigh, kisses the toy and says “Finally, my Lety, we’re together again.” He holds the toy giraffe like a baby.

Lety thought-bubbles that she can’t believe Fern threw the bag o’memories away. Suddenly, Fern walks through her office door with one of the cards in his teeth. He spins Caro around in her chair to move her out of his way. There is passion in his eyes! He calls “Lety”… Lety replies “Don Fernando”… “Lety”… “Don Fernando”… “Lety”… “Ya (enough), Don Fernando”…Fern says he wants to read the card to her. This card is all true and continues to describe what’s in his heart. He climbs on top of her desk and reads, “I need to be with you. I can't tolerate your absence, the absence of your kisses, of your body.”

At this, Lety jumps on the desk and they hold each other tightly. Fern says he’s not done and continues to read, “Life has given me a hard challenge: just days before my uniting with a woman who was supposed to be my life - the true woman appears. This made me change and now I want to be with you all the time. I know this is a tough challenge… but you appeared in time, before I could fall into disaster again.” He throws the card over his shoulder. (Caro is still spinning in her chair under the X-rated ‘Shell from Hell’ painting.) Fern continues as if still reading “Love, Fern Mendiola.” He points to himself “That’s me”. He grabs Lety and they melt into a wonderfully passionate and eager kiss. He stops to tell her again “me”. They kiss again, almost falling off the desk.

Caro has picked up the card and peeks at Fern and Lety kissing from behind it. Fern literally comes up for air, then tells Lety he loved her when he wrote the card and he loves her still. Lety says she never stopped loving him either. As she speaks, Fern holds both ends of her mouth in his hand, making he pucker like a fish. Fern asks for forgiveness and she forgives him. Another kiss. Then Lety snaps out of it and Caro is asking Lety what is going on. Lety is sitting on her desk with a half-pucker.

Outside, Fern re-reads the same card Lety was just daydreaming about. He is near tears.

Caro asks Lety again what’s going on. Lety admits she was daydreaming about Fern. She can’t tear him out of her heart. Caro understands, but thinks Lety needs to give it time.

Alicia is furious about Tomas’s gift. The other women call each other on their desk phones to talk about how mad Alicia is. Meanwhile Alicia mutters that she wants to strangle Tomas and yank his eyes out. The women sarcastically offer to help. Alicia calls them names. She won't share her problem, she has the type of problems unknown to poor and vulgar people like them. Just then, Ariel walks into the office and listens to her little speech.

Aldo comes to visit Lety. This brightens Lety up. He wants to take her out to dinner. Lety says first she needs to call together a meeting for a status on the project. Aldo frets that Luigi is talented but not easy to deal with, plus he wants Aldo next to him all the time. Lety asks“Gee I wonder why?” and they both laugh. Aldo gets up and leans in across Lety’s desk to remind her about dinner. Lety backs away from him uneasily.

An outdoor shot of Conceptos shows us that it is now dark… finally, thank goodness!

Ariel asks why PM is now at the prestigious presidential desk and why Alicia is in a lowly regular desk. He says next she’ll be in the cafeteria, where at least she’s have a uniform and won’t have to worry about torn stockings. Aldo, walking out of Lety’s office, sees this and walks away in disgust. Alicia pretends she hadn’t noticed the torn stockings. He offers her money for new pantyhouse but she is insulted and turns his money down.

Luigi shares his choice of music for the campaign with Marcia, Ricky and Aldo. Aldo wants something more animated, something that “invites one to dance.”

Stalker Tomas is in his office admiring the many photo copies of varying sizes of Alicia’s picture which he probably spent all afternoon making. Alicia walks in but luckily he is able to hide the pictures before she sees them. She demands the pantyhose. He offers them to her timidly and she grabs them and walks out.

Ariel walks into Luigi’s office. Luigi introduces Ariel to Aldo. Ariel promptly asks Aldo what his function at Conceptos is. Aldo gives him a very complete description of the campaign and his role in it. Ariel seems miffed that they have this great gig that might actually bring them out of this mess. He asks if this is the great idea that Lety came up with to bring them out of the ruin that she prevoked. Aldo asks if Ariel really thinks that this mess is all just Lety’s doing. Ariel tells Aldo to mind his own business. Aldo fights back by smiling so brightly that Ariel’s eyes start to bleed and he falls to his knees begging for mercy! … Well, the bleeding and begging didn’t really happen… but maybe in tomorrow’s episode…

Labels: fea

Alina and Luba, nursing the unconscious Emilio, were startled by a knock. It was only Vera. Luba asked her to put some powder in Thelma's tea. Vera was afraid to do it but finally agreed.

She took the tea to Thelma, who whined because there was no honey in it, then went to sleep. (Luba drugged her so she wouldn't go to Emilio's room during the night and discover Alina there.)

Vera went outside and saw Thelma's Aunt Rebeca sneakily discarding Thelma's red dress in a trash can. When Rebeca was gone, Vera retrieved the dress and decided to keep it, saying, "All the women will envy me."

Orlando went into Emilio's room, startling Alina so much that she broke a glass. Orlando assured her, "I've always respected you," and promised not to tell anyone she was there. "I don't want Thelma to humiliate you. Count on me for whatever you need. This will be our secret."

Jose got drunk and told Felicia, "You make me feel much better." He said he wanted to go to sleep, but Felicia kissed him. Of course, since this is a telenovela, Jose immediately hallucinated that he was kissing Mariana. He said, "Mi amor, it is you!" and started taking off Felicia's clothes.

The next day, Jose was upset and told Arcadio he hadn't meant for it to happen. Arcadio just laughed and said, "You are a man," that Mariana would never know.

Santos's mother, Carmen, told him he should stay far away from Maximo. Santos said he wanted to be near Rosita and would kill Maximo if he bothered her. Later Carmen told her friend Chela she was afraid Maximo and Santos would kill each other.

Thelma woke up from her drugged sleep and told Vera she would go see Emilio after she bathed. Vera raced to Emilio's room and warned Alina that Thelma was on her way.

Before leaving, Alina told Emilio, "I love you." To her surprise, he mumbled, "I love you too, Flor." Alina exclaimed to Luba, "Did you hear him? Emilio, open your eyes!" Luba had to drag her out of the room.

Then somehow Luba disappeared and Alina was alone in the hallway with Donkey/Tonqui/Don Quixote or whatever that dog is named. Hearing Thelma approach, she slipped behind a door to hide, leaving Tawnkee in the hall. It turned out she was in Angel's bedroom. He saw her but didn't say anything.

Thelma found the dog and went into Angel's room to ask, "Whose dog is this?" She didn't notice Alina standing behind her, plastered against the wall. Angel said it was Flor's dog and he would take care of it. Thelma snapped, "I don't like animals! I hate animals!" and left the room, leaving Dahnkey behind.

Angel told Alina he knew about everything (Emilio's illness, her almost-marriage to Emilio, etc.) He asked, "Do you think Emilio is going to be OK?" Alina admitted, "I don't know."

She said she loved Emilio with all her soul, then apologized to Angel for saying it. He said, "Don't worry about me," adding that he knew women like strong, macho men like Emilio.

After Alina left, Susi came into Angel's room wearing a tight white outfit. She said, "You look very sad." Angel replied, "How difficult it is to love a woman who loves someone else."

Thelma and Rebeca visited Emilio and heard him mutter, "Flor, I love you too." Thelma said, "Emilio, my love, it's me, Thelma." Emilio muttered, "I don't want to marry Thelma, no no."

Meanwhile, at Marianita's school: Marianita's friend Juanito was singing to cheer her up when she suddenly passed out.

Mariana visited Marianita in the hospital. Her doctor admirer (I'll call him Dr. Love) explained that Marianita was having a reaction to chemotherapy. Mariana said despairingly, "I've spent years listening to the same. The cancer keeps coming back. By God, what do I have to do?"

Back at Don Loco's hacienda, Adela told the suddenly-awake Soledad that Alina was alive. Soledad diagnosed, "Alvaro is loco," and Adela agreed. Soledad said she was glad that Alvaro thought she was loco, too. "I want him to suffer the way I've suffered. Will you help me?" Adela said, "Si, Señito."

(Wouldn't it be smarter for Soledad to try to escape from Don Loco's evil clutches? After all, Adela has the house keys... but I guess sticking around and pretending to be insane is a good plan, too.)

Later Soledad prayed for Alina's safety, saying, "I'm not important. What matters is that she is all right."

After learning from her father that Rosita was at home, Maximo went there and found her dancing while she swept the floor. He said, "Dancing and hard-working!" Rosita told him her father was at the hacienda. Maximo said he'd come to see her.

Meanwhile, Carmen was telling her friend Chela about her bad memories of Maximo. "Maximo was enamored of me. I did not want to give myself. I wanted to marry the good one, but this man no longer wanted to make me his."

In a flashback, she remembered waking up one night and hearing Maximo shouting outside her house, "Carmen, open this damn door! I found out you're seeing another man!" He broke into the house and shouted something like, "I wanted to do good for you, you didn't want it, now I'm going to do bad!" then raped her violently.

Remembering this, Carmen told Chela, "He is a bad man," that he lashed and kicked her when he found out she was pregnant. "And now my son is going to confront him. He's capable of doing harm to his own son." Chela said she should try to forget the past. Carmen said, "How can I forget? He marked me for life."

Back at Rosita's house, Maximo was telling Rosita that he loved her in a good way and wouldn't hurt her. Rosita protested, "I have a boyfriend and we love each other." Maximo sneered, "You love this starving Santos?" Rosita said yes, and Maximo grabbed her violently, yelling, "Then you are an idiot!"

Santos burst in, yelling, "Let go of her!" He said he was there to defend Rosita. Maximos laughed and said, "Defend her? You couldn't defend her from me." He left, cackling evilly and repeating, "Defend her! Hahaha!"

Later Maximo's good-looking minion Castulo offered to make Santos disappear forever. Maximo said not yet because if anything happened to Santos, suspicion would fall on him, so they would wait a little while.

Dr. Vasquez told Thelma that Emilio was much better, thanks to Luba's magical herbs. "This woman knows a lot." Later the doctor told Angel not to let Emilio know he was married to Thelma because that news could kill Emilio.

At the cave: Luba told Alina not to trust Emilio, all men were liars, etc. She reminded Alina that Emilio was married to "la tal Thelma" and she was pregnant. Gaspar, who had been napping, jumped to his feet and exclaimed, "I'm going to have a child?"

Luba snapped, "What stupid thing are you saying? Did you hear that, Flor?" Seeing the steam coming out of Luba's ears, Alina hastily left the cave, saying she was going to look for roots.

Gaspar asked Luba if simpletons' children were also simpletons. "Am I also going to have idiot children?" Luba shrieked, "Why the hell are you asking me that?" Gaspar said, "Tell me. Is my child also going to have a blow to the head?"

Pacing, throwing things, and screaming (very loudly) Luba said his children wouldn't be idiots, "You are a normal boy," and insisted that he wasn't going to have a child. Gaspar insisted, "I know it, I know it."

Luba demanded, "What is it you know?" and Gaspar said, "Senora Thelma is the little doll from the Devil's Cave. Her child is my child, Mama!"

Luba's mouth fell open. She knocked something over, breathing heavily and looking terrified, and said "No, it can't be." Gaspar said, "Si, Mama, si si." Luba roared, "I want you to tell me everything!" Gaspar said he tried to tell her before but she wouldn't listen. Luba hollered, "Now I am listening! Go ahead! Tell me!"

Gaspar told her about the Devil's Cave and his little doll. He finished, "And when I had her in my arms, my little doll said --" Luba interrupted, "Quiet! You don't have to tell me that!" She demanded, "Are you sure the little doll from the Devil's Cave is la tal Thelma?"

Gaspar said, "I know how to recognize. I recognize Florecita; Tonqui; you, Mama. I know who is who. She is the little doll, Senora Thelma is."

Luba said, "I tell you to be quiet!" It wasn't directly shown but apparently she slapped him. She snarled, "Don't repeat that! You're not going to tell anyone, do you hear? No one, because I'll kill you!"

Then she totally freaked out, kicking things and screeching, "I can't believe it, that you do this to me, I can't believe it, Gaspar!" Gaspar wisely chose to hide behind a piece of furniture.

(Luba was really spitting nails in this scene -- Don Loco would be proud. I know there's a lot of scenery-chewing in telenovelas, but I think Luba broke new ground. Along with a few vocal chords!)

Gasping and crying, she went to her picture of the Virgin Mary and said, "Forgive me, Mother." She hit herself on the head, saying, "It isn't fair, it isn't fair. I am a mother... Oh, what's happening to me? The hand burns me." (Because she hit Gaspar.)

She pulled herself together, wiped away her tears, and held out her hand to the cowering Gaspar, saying, "Gaspar, son. Come, sit down." Gaspar obeyed.

Luba knelt beside him and said, "Son, look me in the eyes. You are all that I have. I gave life to you." She said it hurt her to see him suffer, that he was a good man, and her hand burned because she had slapped his face. "I want you to know your mother Luba will defend you because you are more important to me than my life. Do you forgive me?"

Gaspar said, "Mami, Mama. I love you, Mamita," and they hugged, both crying. I think this was the best scene of the show so far.

polvos = powders
acomodo = job, arrangement
hacendosa = hard-working
fuetazo = lash
patadas= kicks
gallito = braggart
atolondrar = to confuse
raices = roots
cortina = curtain
vientre = belly, abdomen

(A question: Can someone explain why Adela always calls Soledad "señito"? It's not in my dictionary.)

Labels: duelo

Not off to a good start this episode, everyone is busy weeping over JC & Pau’s doomed romance. JC is content to suffer alone, weeping and looking all the more pathetic and pale in his stupid yellow sweater (ugh). Gabe is comforting Paulina, when Regina shows up with the big news…JC is sick. Paulina falls apart. Regina tells the whole story about JC’s great plot o’ secrecy and ends with, the only thing that can save him is a marrow transplant, Paulina jumps up ready to donate hers right away. Gabe, ever the voice of reason (who knew?) says, calm down girlie, it’s not quite that easy. Duh. They start on their own little Operation Big Secret (from this point forward, referred to as Operation BS), and decide to help JC without telling him. This sounds like a really dumb idea. Group hug.

Dr. Bedazzler (Leo—today draped in full bedazzled glory) is worried about JC and has realized how thankful he is for life and blah blah blah. He and his mom weep together and hug.

Paulina goes back home and tries to do her best b*tch act…which, of course, is not very good, maybe she should sign up for a basic course at Jocelyn’s College of BadA** B*tches. She’s decided to fight for their love and asks to show him the power of her love, yada yada yada.

Otilia and her coven are cackling over her plan to conquer the pre-hispanic clothing market.

Regina confesses to Lola that she told Paulina & Gabe. Lola asks if she’s going to tell the big D. Regina’s not sure. Lola tells her that Karen knows too and Regina’s like, oops I treated her like a little hussy because I thought she was nosing in on my son’s marriage. Oh no, she’s not a hussy anymore Lola says, she’s changing.

As we speak the hussy Karen is out with JC and telling him that Paulina is doing the right thing. Awww…the doctor is in.

Jos & Miriam are scratching each other’s eyes out with worry that their evil plans are all falling apart.

Gabe sends up a silent prayer for JC when Nicolas comes in talking business about investigating the big D’s business affairs. Gabe says that’s fine, just be discreet. Nic asks if he’s heard from MA. Nope….it’s a big fat mystery. How weird!

Silvestre & Elsita are arguing about her drinkin’ ways. She says I promise I won’t drink anymore, just don’t tell my mom or my irritatingly perfect, holy roller brother ‘cause I won’t never hear the end of it!

Jos confronts Gabe about MA’s mystery vacation. Joselyn herself looks like she’s got a nightjob as an Everest sherpa, but couldn’t afford the good gear so she just killed a muppet and made a coat out of its pelt.

Regina, Paulina sit down with Karen to apologize for thinking she was a total hussy. They clue her into Operation BS. They all spit on their hands, shake hands and call it good. They’re BFFs.

JC is pondering what a total idiot he is and thinking of new ways to be an even bigger one.

D is asking Regina what’s been bothering her lately. She says she’s just tired. He guesses it’s about JC. He’s going to man up and go talk to him but really he’s just peeved that she didn’t tell him every little thing on her mind.

Paulina is busy demonstrating her love by sweeping off eraser dust from JC’s design, picking up dropped pencils and otherwise being an insufferable nag. D bursts in and confronts him about his crappy attitude of late. JC goes to chat with his mom and gets all dizzy—she freaks out and almost blows her cover. They end up crying, hugging and telling one another how much they love each other. Awwwww…

Elsa and Silvestre are home and greeted by Dr. Bedazzler and Cande. Elsa beats a hasty retreat and everyone gives each other a look of discomfort.

Gabe wants to call off Operation BS, but Pau, with her keen logical mind, convinces him otherwise.

Nicolas confronts Tiberio about some project or other and wants to know if there are any of Demian’s special little surprises in store. Tiberio, says, no, everything is in order, but Nico isn’t convinced and lets him in on a little secret…he wants to know how involved Ty is in D’s dirty work. Tiberio is totally confused. I say it every week but this plot line could really be underwritten by the National Mexican Alliance of Mental Health Care Professionals if Tiberio would just go and talk to someone about all these conflicting feelings.

Gabe confesses to Lola that something happened between MA and him. He gives her a letter, to see if she can make head or tails of it. She can’t. Lola suggests that maybe Jos has something to do with all this, since she’s the one who wants them separated. Hmmmm….Gabe’s got something to think about.

Regina goes to Joselyn and rubs MA’s magazine cover and her big projects in her face. Jos goes nutsy and tears the magazine to bits. Enter Demian and they start arguing about the plan and threaten each other, blah blah blah.

Dr. Bedazzler, as usual without any patients, calls Gabe about running the tests to be a marrow donor for JC. They’ll do them that evening. Silvestre stops by with the magazine about MA. Leo wishes there was a centerfold, but will settle for the little old article about her professional life.

Elsita is drinking alone again.

Karen delivers her designs to Miriam with a cheery disposition and Miriam is like, that’s enough of that silly attitude, what’s up? Karen says she just wants to be a better person. Miriam tells her she’s just becoming a stupider person every day acting like that. Karen’s all whatever, you guys sure as hell aren’t happy so I’m going to try it this way instead.

Nicolas tells Lola that Tiberio didn’t spill any beans about how wrapped up he is with Demian’s shady business deals. Lola’s worried and so he offers to take her out for coffee.

Miriam is going off on Demian about his little ruse with Jos. She says that there are going to be some pretty serious consequences when Gabe finds out, because he’s certainly going to make a big stink about it, and then Regina will find out. She calls him a real imbecile.

Gabe’s on his way to the hospital, when Jos comes down the hallway, telling that guy that he’s leaving the building. Oh god, how corny. She has set it up so the car almost hits Gabe, but she saves the day, but then will need to be taken to the hospital by Gabe where they can fall in love all over again. But…Nic & Lola (on their way for coffee) are like, no way, there’s nothing wrong with that little faker. Joselyn, however, has a PhD from Joselyn’s College of BadA** B*tches, so she keeps up with the ruse. Gabe is befuddled, as usual.

Labels: mundo

Real Marfil (henceforth RM) is in bed complaining to Bruno. Repeat of yesterday’s conflagration. Why do you want me to sleep? If the neighbors hear, they will call the police. I hope they will. This is scary. She falls asleep. Bruno actually looks tender, and is stricken. My poor little one. She actually cries into her hand.

More payback for Pancho. He is sneaking outside the motel parking lot in a towel. Pancho sneaking around outside in a towel. Two girls come by. Don’t be so modest—show us everything, they say. Then they astutely observe that they are sure you had your manos in the masa (hands in the dough) for your girlfriend to leave you nude out in the street. Good idiom, like hands in the cookie jar.

Granny DS has a new doll and a matching pink hat. Max comes to visit. Where is Diana? She is always with Marfil. Max breaks it to her that Diana won’t be coming back.

Back to M/D. What happened? Did she really wake up? Yes, it’s a miracle. How could this happen precisely now? What about our plan? Bruno tells M/D that RM is very angry. We had to give her a sedative. We must convince my twin to play along. M/D then thought bubbles “She will never return. Ha! I will be the new Marfil. Rolls eyes and tosses shoulders haughtily. Folks, this actress has the whiniest voice and delivery you have every heard. Wait for her crying scenes with Max. (When I was a kid, if I pulled a number like that my mother would call me “Sarah Heartburn.” This punny putdown was always used by mothers in my day. It would stop a tantrum in its tracks. It perfectly describes this scenery chewer’s acting style.)

Granny DS is talking to Max about why Diana isn’t coming back. He lies and tells her Diana has problems at home and her granny is very sick. Why doesn’t she bring her granny here and take care of both of us? Oh, she lives very far away. Then I am going to die. Than I am not going to eat. Max holds the dolly and tells her a story. Of Cenicienta (Cinderella). There was a pretty and poor girl. Lives with stepmother and bad stepsisters. Granny doesn’t like that part: skip to the end. Max does and Granny DS falls asleep. This is kind of touching—and a two-ton insertion of foreshadowing by the writers.

Diana is combing the papers for a new job. It’s hard to get to work without a car—and a nursing license. Reviewing past with Granny. It’s very hard that I can’t get work in a hospital. My license was suspended because of Dr. Evil (I’m still not clear on all the details of her license loss—if anyone knows please add). Granny vows that he won’t prevail. When will the judgment come? We don’t have a court date yet. But I’m going to talk to Gaviota, as she is my lawyer. (Folks, I have not seen the beginning, but I don’t know how Gaviota can be a lawyer. Ex-felons don’t get to be lawyers, except in extremely rare circumstances, and that is if they attend law school after prison (excluding “jailhouse lawyers,” who are just people who help other prisoners without having real training). The idea that she obtained a degree in prison is extremely unlikely, unless Florida has a very different system from New York’s. This has got to be just another fantasy the writers cooked up to add yet another coincidence to this highly coincidence-driven show. Did anyone see how Diana came to retain Gaviota as her lawyer? Did Gaviota hang out a shingle at the “bar”? Does she have any other clients? I will step off my lawyer’s high horse now, con permiso.)

Gaby is talking to Lala about how sad Diana is to lose her job. Lala says better my son will help her find a new job (the Diego Employment Agency has a great success rate. For a nice guy he has a bunch of awful associates. More later.) O comes in. You are fired. Because of your sister. Shut up, igualada. Your sister is a golddigger who is waiting to take over for the lady of the house. No, she’s a good and decent girl, she never wanted to conquer a man to raise herself up. Get out of your uniform and out on the street with your sister. I will send your severance pay with Lala . Octavia pleads for mercy. O says, shut up. You have years of service here, but I don’t permit anyone to judge my decisions. If you don’t like it you can go too.

Gaviota tells Diana she is glad she left that horrible house and those bad people. No, all was my fault. I should never have kissed Max. I let him kiss me. No, don’t feel guilty, the truth is that you have been in love with a married man. The same as your mother. No, I was happy working there and I was near him.
I loved him, Gav. But now you have to forget him. You must hate him. You cannot love people who are trash. Diana says he is different from his mother. Gav says no. Forget him before it’s too late. He’s worthless, he’s an Irazabal. Lots of repetitive discussion like this.

Max tells Emilio that if Marfil were gone, he would marry Diana tomorrow. Emilio says O would be mad. Max doesn’t care.

Camila on beach talking on cell to D/M . Asking if she has the money. No. D/M says she will find something to sell. Camila hangs up and gloats about how no one can conquer her and Marfil

Bruno tells D/M that she is going to see RM. D/M is hysterical. Tells her about the secret plan. Enlists her in going to O’s room to steal jewelry.

Diana and Granny are talking about Max. Then Gaby comes home and tells how she got fired just for being Diana’s sister. They are all upset. Too many debts. They are on a losing streak. Granny says God will help us. Gaby is most upset that she won’t see Larry anymore.

Larry tells Lala that he will save the day—he has something very good that he will do with Gaby. Just then Larry gets a call from—Pilar! She is in trouble in Mexico. Please help.

Diana walking in street and meets Diego. Wow, he’s got a new job lined up for her as a “telefonista,” which seems to be a receptionist/telephone operator. It’s working for a company for some millionaire where he is giving piano lessons. Good luck. (BTW, why have we never seen Diego actually playing the piano. Maybe he can't play at all. Judging from his students, they wouldn't know the difference. They certainly are not applying themselves to their studies.)

D/M calls Max in his office. Tries to get him to come home. No, honey—too much work. Meanwhile, Bruno fishes through the jewelry box and finally finds something good—a giant gold bracelet with several large emeralds. (vocab: Esmeralda= emerald, pulsera—bracelet. I like that, it helps to remember: pulse points—wrist--bracelet.).

Back to Pilar: Kiki hit me, he took my passport, and my bag and money and my tarjetas de credito. I can’t get back to U.S. Larry says: oh, now you want me. When you left with that trash and left me at the altar. Please. Kiki comes up and Pilar is cut off. You can tell Larry is torn!

Gaby tells about Larry’s marriage proposal. Granny says it’s not a good idea. He is just looking for a refuge and a balm for his pain. But Gaby likes the illusion. They talk more about finding new jobs.

D/M looks at the pulsera. Tells Bruno to sell it. Bruno wants to use any extra money for therapy for RM. D/M is not happy with that idea. Bruno says that sooner or later, RM will have to return to the mansion. Bruno calls D/M an impostor, and D/M slaps Bruno. It almost makes you feel sorry for Bruno. D/M says, get out of here, igualada. Payback to Bruno. D/M is mad because Bruno prefers paralyzed Marfil. Out in the hall, Bruno cries. I am paying, my golden child, I am paying. We don’t know what this is about yet.

Max is filling in as nurse for Granny DS. More whining about how they both miss Diana.

Diana is trolling streets of Miami in a strapless dress. Arrives at new job at Bracho Imports (I wonder what they import? We can only guess . . . but I bet it isn’t coffee.). Receptionist can’t keep up with calls. Old receptionist says, oh you are young and pretty. Lucky you got this, but you are young and pretty. I am going on vacation. They’ll probably fire me when I get back. I’m now 50 years old. Diana says she would never allow that.

Cut to shot of man in open bathrobe with goatee and ponytail. The effect is not Larry the hunk but Al Pacino in the latter part of Scarface. This is Senor Victor Bracho. Wants to know if the new telefonista has arrived. His wife comes in, and says if I catch you cheating I’ll kill you both. Not to be a looksist, but this is almost too much of a joke—the wife seems to be 20 years older and 75 pounds heavier than Victor. A beauty she is not. Wife puts a small gun in her purse.

Cut to O. Nancy, call the chofer in 10 minutes. I don’t want to drive. She is looking through the jewel box. Naturally she is looking for the pulsera—which Bruno took because she thought she didn’t wear it often and might not notice it was gone right away. O accuses maid of doing it. No, I swear.

Camila and Bruno. Camila wants to see the bracelet—she says she has a place downtown. They speculate on the secret. After Bruno leaves, Camila laughs that Bruno is delusional if she thinks that Camila won’t win out.

Back to Bracho Imports. More instructions on phone answering, Mr. Bracho is cranky. He loves young and pretty girls like you. He always treats them well.

Max is swimming in pool. D/M comes out with walker. She tries to kiss him. He pulls away. Don’t you want me? He says the truth is with two years separated my passion cooled. It’s not easy to maintain a marriage that way. The only solution is that get a divorce. She is impactada.

Bracho arrives and asks how’s this new telefonistsa. She is young and pretty. Send her in.

O is quizzing everyone about the bracelet. Of course, she accuses Diana. Yolanda tries to get her to remember when was the last time she saw it. O is having none of it.

Gaby is sweeping the house. Larry comes in door. Did he even open the door? At least on Seinfeld you saw them come in and open the door without knocking. Here they just walk onto the set.

D/M scolds Max about divorce. She can’t believe it. Major tantrum ensues. He says he will take care of her until she recovers. Tantrum continues.

Come in says Bracho. Leers at Diana. Diego assured me that you are a good worker. In my profession of nurse, but I’m not sure about this. I just want to get experience. How did you get here? I took the bus and subway. Don’t worry. I will pick you up in the morning. No. I am accustomed to public transportation. Don’t say another word. For me it is no trouble. When you finish work, I will take you home. Can you guess what’s coming? (Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me. All I can say is, Diana had better not use the Diego Employment Agency again.)

Back to more repetitive arguing between Max and D/M. He says, If I could do over my life, you are very pretty and all, you deserve a man who loves you. I am not that man. Don’t go Max, don’t go. He goes. She vows: No no this will not happen. He will never divorce me.

Labels: acorralada