Caray, Caray!

Because it's Oscars weekend, and everybody's talking about who's wearing what, I'm adding my own fashion commentary to this recap. I'll warn you, though, that it's not a topic I get excited about like those Hollywood people.

Fern and Omar

Fern (okay outfit, not as good as yesterday's), Omar (okay outfit), Aldo (okay outfit), Guillermo (henceforth Gil 'cuz I'm lazy; nice outfit), and some other people (assorted outfits) are having their meeting about gastronomical tourism. Fern keeps interrupting to blather at length about nothing. It is as if he's trying to control the meeting, except he's not providing any direction. Gil then cuts him off politely so that Aldo can long-windedly share his own esoteric thoughts on the Flavor of Life.

To stave off boredom, Omar flirts with the redhead next to him. "I'm talking, Omar" Aldo scolds him and says more about "Sabor de Vida." Fern starts mocking "sabor de vida, flavor of life."

This is giving me flashbacks to kindergarten, which is strange because I didn't go to kindergarten.

Gil pointedly ignores Fern and mentions that there's also the "Flavor of Life" book, the movie, the sitcom, the Broadway show, plus the toothpaste, Underoos, breakfast cereal, coffee mug, etc. (Okay, he only mentions the book, but you know it's just a matter of time before there's a Franklin Mint commemorative chess set too.) Fern then makes fun of the book about quesadillas, sopes, garnachas, and panichos.

Aldo good-naturedly says he's glad they're having fun with the food names, but we can see his jovial facade beginning to crack. He talks about the book, Fern continues to mock, and finally Aldo rolls his eyes and complains.

Hoping to break this strange tension that he doesn't understand, Gil changes the subject to something less volatile: Aldo's brilliant friend Lety Padilla, who gave their project a new dimension. Fern recovers from his shock and he and Aldo argue about Lety. Fern says he's here as Lety's representative, so Aldo shouldn't be talking about her. Aldo says Fern wasn't there when Aldo and Lety came up with these ideas. Omar clumsily tries to smooth things over, but only succeeds in annoying the redhead. Aldo says there's going to be a big expo... and then he leans across the table to tell Fern that was Lety's idea, too.

Fern tries to wrap up the meeting by telling the restaurant people that Omar will negotiate with each of them. Gil reminds Fern that the amount has already been decided. Fern says Aldo already told him about that. "A little bird told me," he says snidely.

After the meeting, Omar and Fern go outside to talk. Omar criticizes Fern's behavior, trying to ruin the meeting with juvenile antics. Back in the meeting room, Aldo complains to Gil about Fern's behavior as well. :-) Gil says all he cares about is that the project goes well. Gil wants to meet with Lety to talk things over.

Outside, Fern says he wants to get Aldo to pull out of the project. They'll do it all themselves. All the info they need is in Aldo's book. Omar is aghast at this dumb idea.

Lety and the cuartel

Lety (conservatively cut skirted suit in a shade of coral that was popular around 1990) asks the cuartel (all wearing nicer things than usual, IMO) where they heard all this stuff they've been gossiping about. They claim they got it from someone in Editing, but Lety doesn't believe them. Finally she gives up and tells them to forget about it and go back to work. "But you're not the friends I used to have," she says, disappointed. She gives them a sad lecture and concludes, "do me a favor - don't blab about this, because you don't know what you're talking about." She leaves the stunned cuartel in the boardroom and closes the door behind her.

The ladies confer, ashamed of themselves and more confused than ever. They yell for Lety, who has simply been standing on the other side of the door. She rejoins them, glad they've decided to trust her. They send Sara to reluctantly fetch the evidence and they explain that they found it among Omar's things that they were told to move. "You read The Letter?" Lety asks, stunned. She dismisses it as Omar's bad joke, but asks where they got the idea that the wedding was cancelled because of her. Lola explains that they had noticed a lot of strange things, and The Letter and the balance sheet helped them put it all together.

Lety is upset to realize that they saw the balance sheet too. Lola observes that Conceptos owed US$45 million to Filmo-Imagen - Lety's old boyfriend's company - and asks if there's a connection between that, and Lety being president of Conceptos now. They also want to know if Lety was cheating on Tomas with Fern. Lety denies this.

Irma is shocked and scandalized by this entire conversation and wants it to end. :-) Sara asks about the red bag. Lety confirms that it's the bag mentioned in The Letter. Martha remembers how, shortly after the Red Bag Caper, Lety cried and cried and cried. "They used you," Lola guesses.

Lety finally agrees to tell them everything, but tells them they have to keep it to themselves. She says that on the day of the Big Meeting, she decided that she couldn't lie to the Mendi-roels any more. She showed them the real balance sheet, but she didn't intend to reveal the romance to anyone. That was Marcia's doing.

Irma remembers Marcia demanding to see the contents of Lety's trash bags. Lety confirms that the bag was full of the gifts and cards from Fernando, as well as The Letter. Martha mentions that Fern had the bag yesterday. Lety says yes, but he went and threw it in the trash.

The cuartel is very relieved to know the whole story. That seems to be the end of it, until Irma protests, "but you knew Don Fernando was engaged!" PM says he was practically a married man. They ask Lety if she thinks he loved her. She thinks not, but says she's pretty sure he didn't love Marcia either. The cuartel blows off some steam complaining about what a dirtbag Fernando is.

Saimon dances in with a BIG basket of flowers. (Over at the restaurant association, Aldo takes a call from someone confirming that the flowers have been delivered. He remembers his conversation with Carolina about not overwhelming Lety with gifts, but he wants to make up for losing the pearl... not that Lety ever knew about that pearl in the first place...) They all want to know who it's from, but they can't find a card. Saimon doesn't know who sent it either. He says he has a test at his computer class that night and dances out.

PM wonders if the flowers are from Fern. Lety tells them all it's time to go back to work, and asks them not to repeat a word of what she said. The cuartel leaves the boardroom and immediately heads towards the restroom. Observing from a discreet distance, Lety tells nosy Alicia: "The bathroom. I knew it!" They have already started gossiping again when Lety bursts in and cries, "I caught you!"

They seem to pretty much ignore her and continue clucking about everything. She begs them to please forget about it and stop talking about it - at least within Conceptos.

Juana says she's still worried about Tomas. Does he know about the stuff with Fernando? Lety reveals that Tomas was never her boyfriend. They are impactadas. She says they all knew she was in love with someone, and she didn't want them to think it was Fernando, so she told them it was Tomas.

Juana reminds them of when she told Lety's fortune with seashells (this was before I started watching) that she was going to meet a man and both their lives would change. Lety says sure, her life has changed 180 degrees, but his is still the same. Sara points out that Fern's life has changed too - he lost the presidency. Lety says he'll get it back, marry Marcia, and then it'll all keep going. (I'm thinking the prediction could just as easily have referred to Aldo!)

She asks them again to keep her secret, and if they must talk about it, please do it away from here. She urges them to get back to work, but Juana has one last question: is she still in love with Fern? Lety asks YET AGAIN to drop the subject. PM is curious about how Lety recovered from all of this after the Big Meeting. Martha asks where she went, who she met, etc. Lety promises to tell them eventually, but not now, must work. They want to do another seashell reading - maybe on their lunch hour. Lety says no, she's still afraid, but she did meet a psychic, and she shows them the blue medallion he gave her. She says he told her "many interesting things." (True, but I'm not sure if he ever told her anything useful.)

Strange interlude

Walking through the park in a disco leisure suit that actually looks pretty good on him, Psychic Guy tells the camera, "I sense that I'm going to run into Leticia."

Lobby loiterers

While the cuartel is meeting with Lety, Alicia (all red satin, and tighter than ever) sits at PM's desk. The phone rings and she answers "Yeah? Nope, haven't seen her, call back later" and hangs up. She answers more politely next time, but again tells the person to call back later.

Sara passes through and they trade token insults; for the sake of variety, Alicia calls Sara both a giraffe and a deformed ostrich.

For some reason, she thinks the next call is from Aldo and answers, "Aldo, mi amor!" But it's Tomas (Inspector Gadget costume), who is excited to be addressed thusly. "Oh, what do you want?" Tomas tries to lure her into his office with the promise of "something very interesting," but Alicia doesn't take the bait.

Tomas asks himself how he can get Alicia to check out the new Tomas. He wants to do it in private. He hides the many photos of Alicia, muttering to himself, "look out, Aldo!"

In the lobby, Alicia tries (in her own incompetent way) to console Luigi (weird black getup festooned with leftover Christmas tree garland) about his problems with Ruli. Tomas spies while Alicia tells Luigi, who is powdering his face, that he'll be an old maid while she'll have been married twice. (Over my dead body, Tomas thinks to himself.) She encourages Luigi to cry, while Tomas plans his grand entrance.

Later, Marcia (MUCH better outfit today) teases Alicia about arriving early to work. Is it a miracle? Alicia says no, it's a heroic deed, being with all the people of her own class. Amused, Marcia asks if she's referring to people from school. Alicia says no, she means workers, salesmen, etc. that ride the bus. She whines about the usual - getting up early and not having breakfast. She fell asleep on the bus and if some idiot hadn't nudged her awake, she would have missed her stop. And then maybe she would have woken up in Veracruz or Oaxaca or who knows where. She can't take it any more.

Marcia urges Alicia to take it up with Lety, and tell her she got there early. Alicia said Lety already knows, she's already seen her today - while she was showing off her new car to the cuartel.

Marcia is intrigued to hear about this new car, but asks where the cuartel is. Alicia tells them they're in their meeting room - the bathroom. Just like always. Marcia is disgusted.

Meanwhile, in the mens' restroom, Saimon (okay suit) finds Tomas putting drops in his eyes. Saimon asks if he can help, but Tomas hurriedly excuses himself and stumbles around the bathroom, unable to find his way out. Saimon tells him not to cry. Tomas denies crying and says he has something in his eye. Saimon doesn't believe him, and asks if he's having trouble with his girlfriend Lety. He tries to get Tomas to cry on his shoulder. Tomas finally makes it to the door, and Saimon mutters about cheating girlfriends who make men cry.

Tomas passes Alicia's desk again. Alicia is cooing at her "engagement photo" again, and Marcia says she wants to check in with Ricky Armstrong (hey, maybe he'd like to date Marcia? why not?), but Alicia wants to talk about last night. So does Marcia - because Alicia called her at midnight, and then she couldn't sleep because Fern went out "for a walk" and didn't come back. Alicia says she doesn't want to hear Marcia's sob stories - she's not in the mood because she's feeling very content. Marcia mockingly says oh, right - you're getting married to Aldo. Alicia is annoyed that Marcia doesn't believe her. Marcia says fine, go ahead and tell me, what did he say to you?

Alicia: He told me that the present was very important, because we were together, and later he told me that we are soulmates and we will be together forever, into infinity, for eternity.

Marcia: And how was the marriage proposal?

A: Aldo is very lofty, very gifted - he doesn't say things directly like you or I; no, he's like, like, like a poet. He says what he wants, but with pretty words - and very complicated, I confess.

M: Could it be that you misunderstood him?

A: What? How can you think that? No, I understood him perfectly and clearly! He wants to spend his life completely with me.

M: It seems fishy to me that a guy like Aldo would get engaged to someone he just met that day.

Alicia says it was a simple case of love at first sight. As if to prove her point, she shows Marcia the photo, and it is only at this exact moment that I realize something: when she looks at this photo, she's not looking at Aldo, whose frightened eyes say it all. No, she's looking at herself - all happy and clueless - and reliving that magical moment in her own secret parallel universe where she's irresistible and everyone likes her.

Fern and Omar

Fern and Omar get back to the office. Fern has his phone in his hand and isn't able to compete for the big chair. He asks Luigi if he has Aldo's book - "Flavor of Cuachiflasis [not in my dictionary!!] or Flavor of Life or something about sopes and garnachas." No, and he hasn't read it either. Fern is annoyed about this "ridiculous" book. Omar says how do you know if it's ridiculous if you haven't read it? Fern says, "It's about sopes and garnachas and quesadillas, that's why! And it was written by the ridiculous Aldo Domenza-EEN, don't ask dumb questions, Omar!"

Fern's theory is that if they have Aldo's book, they won't need the actual flesh-and-blood Aldo. Omar wisely decides not to challenge Fern's fragile grip on logic, and instead taunts him with a stuffed giraffe from the Big Bag o' Lies. (This was the giraffe that I once called a "girama" because I couldn't tell from a distance whether it was a giraffe or a llama.) Fern snatches it away from Omar and tells him not to touch it. Omar worries that someone will catch them with this stuff, but Fern advises him that no one needs to know about it and they can keep it all hidden. (Fern is waving the giraffe around - not a great way to hide things.) Fern reminds him that Omar's the one who bought all these things and please hide them nicely.

Omar agrees to do so, but strangles the giraffe and makes a noise. "Don't squeeze it," Fern says sternly. "Why not?" Omar says defensively as he puts it back in the bag. "It brings back good memories."

I'm not sure if I want to know about those.

The New Tomas

Tomas goes back to his office and complains about how "these things" make his eyes water. There is a pile of used facial tissues all over his desk. He blows his nose and says firmly, "It's now or never. Here I come, Alicia Ferreira!"

At waist-height, we see the sunglasses hit the desk, followed by the hat. Then we see Tomas's denim-clad legs approach the door.

Alicia is still smooching the Aldo photo alone at her desk (I wonder whose face she's kissing - Aldo's or hers?) and murmuring sweet nothings to it.

Suddenly, we're looking through the Tomas-Cam. Alicia's arms sag in disbelief and she drops the photo on her desk. Her jaw falls the short distance to her, uh, jaw-cushions as she slowly rises from her desk. Behind her, Aldo gets off the elevator, but she is too fascinated by the vision in front of her to notice.

The camera switches back to Tomas's feet in black loafers... then up to his legs in jeans... then we see a forest green blazer (velvet? tweed? corduroy? I can't tell). His hands seem to be resting over a belt that we can't see because it's covered by the white-striped hem of a grey turtleneck sweater. Panning up some more, there's - ugh - some necklace with a charm... and then...

The Golden Circle of Tomorrow. Damn!

Fortunately, it's a double-feature tonight, so tomorrow is today and now we see the face.

I'll confess now that I saw this on YouTube a few months ago. I heard Tomas was getting a makeover, and I just had to see. I'm sorry I did. I've been having nightmares about it ever since. Remember that sleep study I had to do? This is why. This is what's been keeping me awake.

Not really. Because on YouTube his face was only a couple of centimeters tall. But now on my little 15" TV, his face is the size of a Frisbee. A big BLOND blow-dried Frisbee, blinking fast enough to make up the difference for Marcia's staring over the last, what's it been now, 10 months? Holy mackerel, this show has been on for 10 months. It doesn't seem that long to me, but maybe that's because I've only been watching 7 months.

Anyway, he's blinking a mile a minute, trying to keep his new blue contact lenses from popping out of his eyes. And he's grinning in a very weird way, showing off a luminescent Ultra-Brite smile.

Aldo is trying to tell Alicia that he wants to talk to her about "what happened last night," but Alicia can't hear him. She is laughing too loudly to hear anything. (Perhaps the "natural blonde" isn't aware of the irony.)

Crushed, Tomas's smile droops. He stops blinking and begins to cry. Aldo is not amused by Alicia's peals of laughter. "Tomas, what have you done?" he asks. "Isn't it obvious?" Alicia crows. "That dummy wants to look like you." She tells Tomas he'd have to go back to birth for that. In fact, even that wouldn't be enough. "There are some things that just can't be fixed," she says.

Tomas puts the trenchcoat over his head. Aldo tells Alicia that laughter lifts the soul, but not when it's caused by someone else's pain. "Please, Alicia," he says. She stops, although I'm not sure she understands why.

Aldo leads Tomas to the restroom (Tomas can't see, with the trenchcoat over his head and his contacts killing him). He has to hurry, because Alicia looks like she's going to start laughing again.

Safely in the restroom, Aldo tells Tomas (who is scolding himself for his stupidity) to get "those things" out of his eyes, but Tomas thinks he's already lost them because he can't see. Aldo says they look okay. Fumbling, Tomas puts his glasses on. He tells Aldo that he's the ugliest of the ugly on the planet. He never dreamed he could be with a woman like Alicia, but then, he never thought he'd be a VP of finance worthy of a monkey-cage either. Aldo says he is worthy of more than a monkey-cage.

Tomas notices that this is the second time Aldo has rescued him. Aldo admits that he doesn't like Ariel's attitude, and Alicia lacks the sensitivity to understand a person like Tomas - loyal, shy, intelligent. Tomas says those are the things that people value in someone, and that's what he's always told Lety, but he's never told it to himself. It's easy to say it, but not to do it.

Inspecting Tomas's dye job, Aldo says something like there are things that CAN change, and then there are things that SHOULD change. They laugh (Tomas kinda snorts). Tomas asks what he should do about his hair. Aldo recommends shampoo and soap. Tomas asks what kind Aldo uses. Aldo replies, "15." (Dunno what this is.) Aldo offers to get Tomas some shampoo (Luigi keeps some around). As he approaches the door, Tomas hurriedly covers his head. Aldo offers to put up a sign on the door telling people to keep out!

Tomas goes to the mirror and squeamishly prepares to take his contacts out.

Very soon afterwards, Aldo is toweling Tomas's hair dry. Tomas is afraid to look as Aldo slowly pulls the towel back. The color is still, y'know, not very Tomas, but at least none of his hair has fallen out. Tomas is depressed and Aldo says it'll take a while for his regular color to grow back.

Tomas acknowledges that Aldo has been really nice to him several times. "Friends?" he says, offering his hand. Aldo takes it and kisses it. (Just kidding. He shakes it. But just think how much funnier it would have been if Luigi had walked in on Aldo washing Tomas's hair and kissing his hand. No?)

Tomas combs his hair into his usual Woody Woodpecker crest. Aldo is telling him that his favorite thing to prepare is shellfish, or any other kind of seafood. (Oysters and snails... oysters and snails...) Tomas says they make a great team - Aldo likes to cook, and Tomas likes to eat.

Tomas sits on the bench with Aldo and asks what Aldo thinks of Lety. Aldo says this is the greatest thing they have in common, because Lety is important to both of them. Tomas wants to know how important. "More than you can imagine, Tomas." Tomas says they both know how great she is - marvelous, poised, intelligent, kind, shy, loyal... Aldo interrupts, she is lovely. Tomas says, "seriously, she's a good friend..." Aldo says "Tomas, Leticia is very beautiful."

Tomas says "Yeah? OK, if that's how she looks to you, then I agree." He asks if Aldo thinks someone could really be in love with her. Aldo suddenly wants to postpone the rest of this conversation until later. Tomas gets up for his trenchcoat, and I notice that he's wearing the sweater but not the jacket, and suddenly I realize that he looks so much better with a jacket. He nervously prepares to come out of the bathroom and be seen with his new look. He thanks Aldo again for his help.

Aldo leaves, and Tomas tells himself, "what a guy. He'd be ideal for Lety." He realizes that this would be killing two birds with one stone - it'd make Lety forget about Fern, and then he could have Alicia all to himself!

In the Upside-Down Monster Ladyparts Seashell Grotto & Zen Garden

Lety is STILL talking to the cuartel. (Do they EVER give it a rest??) She tells them to call their bosses for a meeting. Lola says she needs to go to the judge. Lety asks how the divorce is going. Lola says El Cheque's going after the house and she doesn't think she's going to get any of the money. Lety tries to calm her down and says it'll all turn out fine. (I'm sure that's a great comfort to Lola considering that Lety has no legal expertise at all.) She tells Lola of course she can go see the judge, no problem (unlike Lopez who probably would have tried to fire Lola just for asking).

The cuartel files out and Lety notices that something is amiss with the painting on her wall. She wonders if it's ghosts. (No, Lety - the painting inverted ITSELF because it was ANGRY! It demands a daily tribute! It wants LITTLE STUFFED ANIMALS!!!)

In the boardroom

Carolina, wearing a MUCH better outfit, finds Lety looking at the huge basket of flowers. She admires them and asks who they're from. Lety says she's sure they came from Aldo. (The door cracks open; Fern begins to peep.) Caro finds the card - a task that eluded the entire cuartel. It reads, "I lost a pearl that I had for you, but in exchange, I ordered these flowers." Lety doesn't understand; Caro encourages her to ask "him." (Fern is incensed.) Lety says she's not going to ask "him" about the pearl, but she loves the flowers.

Enraged, Fern enters the room and slams a sheaf of papers against the door. They look at him, and he pretends that he is swatting a fly. He babbles stupidly for a while, says he needs to go for Omar, lines up all the chairs carefully, swats another imaginary fly for good measure, and excuses himself.

Caro tells Lety to stop worrying about Fern and whether or not he heard her read the card. It'd be better to focus on Aldo getting them for her, right? Lety says he likes her a lot, and she likes him too. Caro wants to know what kind of liking this is - the liking of friends, of siblings... Lety gets irritable and says Caro sounds like her mother. "Excuuuse me?" Caro asks. Lety says that Mom and Caro are both seeing this from the outside. On the inside, she thinks he's a great friend, but he's never suggested anything more. (Perhaps because someone interrupts or she runs away every time he tries?) Caro says that if that's Lety's perception, then it's "valid."

Lety moves the flowers into her office so that no one will ask about them during the meeting. While she's out of the room, Caro muses aloud that poor Lety can't even conceive of the love that Aldo has for her.

More lobby loopiness

It appears that the cuartel is lollygagging in the restroom again. (Where do they go when they have to pee?) Alicia answers PM's phone and tells Guillermo - the caller - that Lety's secretary isn't around at the moment, she can't take a message, and he'll have to call back later. Like maybe a year from now.

(What does it take to get a person fired around here?)

The cuartel comes out of the restroom just in time for PM to catch the end of this conversation. She complains, Alicia says she doesn't have time to talk to all of PM's little friends. Saimon happens by and complains about PM's little friends too and leaves.

Sara demands that Alicia hand over all of Lety's messages. Alicia says, "you know where you can find those messages? In your TOMB! They'll need an oil drill to bury you." Sara tells Alicia to tell her boss that there's a meeting right now. Alicia doesn't want to do it. Sara warns that if Marcia doesn't show up, they'll have to put flowers on Alicia's tomb. They laugh and make ghost noises at Alicia. Martha says in place of flowers, they'll bring the bills from her cell phone, her jewels, and her creditors. Lola adds that it will be a well-visited tomb... for the lawyers! PM jokes that she'll have a nice headstone... until it gets repossessed!

Alicia says that when they die, they won't go to go to hell, nor heaven, nor purgatory, no, they'll just stay here, haunting people as witches. And they'll die soon! Very soon! Of envy, because Aldo asked her to marry him!

They scoff at her, and Fern, who's been on the phone in the lobby all this time, yells that the employees at Conceptos are making a scene. Alicia continues to say that they won't be invited to her wedding. They ask what flavor of sorbet she's going to have.

Martha voices doubt that a man like Aldo wants to marry Alicia. She thinks he's more Luigi's type. Alicia leaves them to their gossip. Irma says she doesn't like to gossip about her boss, but in this case she thinks it's more likely that Aldo's with Luigi. Luigi's having a tiff with Ruli... about jealousy over Aldo.

Just then, they catch sight of Tomas sneaking from the restroom to his office. He hears them laughing and tries to hide... which only makes him look sillier. He gives up and says they're probably wondering about his hair. He says he ran out of shampoo this morning, and he was half-asleep, and he accidentally used something of his mother's. Martha is skeptical. Lola tells him about the meeting and says she has to go see the judge. Tomas says that's okay, but don't stay too late - they've got lots of work to do!

And of course, he's right. Especially since no one has done a lick of work today yet. (The Three Stooges Shemp Edition making a scene at a meeting does not count as work.)

As Tomas goes back to his office, Irma points out that he has one eye blue, and the other eye "a different color." Juana asks if they weren't already like that. Martha thinks he was born that way.

Redrum... redrum... redrum...

Morose, Fern joins Omar in a red-walled area of Omar's office that I don't think I've ever noticed before. Omar asks what's wrong. Fern says he has good news and bad news. Omar wants the good news first. Fern says Aldo is going to marry Alicia. Omar asks, marry (casar) or hunt (cazar)? Har. He says, in that case, Aldo's even dumber than they thought.

Omar asks for the bad news. Fern can barely bring himself to say it: Lety has an admirer! Omar tells Fern to put his feet up on the couch and relax. Omar pulls up a chair, and they look like a stereotypical TV psychiatrist and patient. Omar analyzes the situation: if Aldo is marrying Alicia, it'd be quite the coincidence if he has the same habits as Fern: having a formal girlfriend as well as a lover at the same company, in the same place and with the same people... they joke about a song that has these lyrics.

Fern thinks that her admirer isn't Aldo, but someone else. He says he saw Lety in the boardroom showing off some flowers to Carolina. Omar picks up a pad and pencil to take notes. (What is it with pencils at this place? I never see people with pens around Conceptos. I only mention it because I hate pencils, myself.) He encourages Fern to get comfortable and talk some more. Fern explains about the pearl and the flowers. Omar carefully writes this down and says it sounds to him as if this is someone who would give a ridiculous gift like a painting of a seashell. Fern doesn't understand how this can be, if Aldo's marrying Alicia.

Omar offers to investigate. Fern wants to help. Omar says he's going to write him a prescription for suppositories. Fern kicks him. Omar says he'll write an Rx for tranquilizers as well. 200 mg. Fern says that Omar's the one with a mental illness.

Fern admits that he really does need Omar's help. Sara wanders in and tells them about the meeting. They thank her. She gives them a funny look and they say they're on they're way, prompting her to leave. Omar calls Fern "my dear ex-patient - uh, I mean, ex-president." They head towards the boardroom and Omar promises again to get Fern some suppositories.

Marcia's office

Alicia bursts into Marcia's office saying that Lety has ordered her to the boardroom for a meeting "like this," snapping her fingers. "Right now, like this," she repeats. Marcia looks up from her work and asks if Lety ordered her exactly like that. Alicia looks disappointed. Marcia asks her not to make things worse between her and Lety. Alicia admits that it was actually Sara who said it that way. She complains that they were talking about her tomb and her death.

Marcia goes out and asks the cuartel about this macabre little game. "Are you thinking of killing Alicia?" (Come on, who isn't?) She demands that they explain why they were describing her tomb. Sara says that Alicia's the one who started talking about tombs, and said they'd need an oil drill to bury Sara. (I forgot, in some places people are buried vertically. Okay, now it makes sense!) Marcia says if they don't stop, she'll fire both of them. "BOTH!" she repeats in Alicia's face.

Later, Saimon hands out the mail and squabbles with PM. He's still upset about PM dancing with that man.

In the main lobby

Did I ever mention that this is the drabbest main lobby I've ever seen? Nice floor, but not a window in sight. Lola gets off the elevator and Yazmin, who's giggling into a mirror and is dressed even more casually but more attractively than yesterday (because I think orange was a bad color for her), asks where she's going. Yazmin says that when she woke up this morning in the arms of her dear Flaquito... Lola says she doesn't want to know about her private life. Yazmin says she can't even tell Lola about all the things that go on in that bedroom at night, so much passion... yeah, I bet Yazmin gets "headaches" as frequently as humanly possible.

Lola interrupts, says she's in a hurry to go to the judge. Yazmin is under the impression (from Sanchez) that Lola might want a reconciliation. They argue over whether or not Lola would be crazy to want him back and whether or not she actually COULD get him back even if she wanted him. Lola says she just wants the money for her kids, and stomps out.

In Luigi's office

Irma is once again an involuntary eavesdropper, trying to hide a smile (or is it a grimace - I can't tell) as Luigi fights with Ruli over the phone. (I'm guessing she's heard lots of these fights over the years.) Luigi yells something about a filthy teddy bear and slams the phone down. Irma reminds him of the meeting and puts some valerian in his coffee. He rants and raves about how poorly Ruli is treating him. He says the only thing he's lacked on this tragic day was seeing the platypus.

In the Monster Seashell's Lair

The seashell is right-side-up again.

Caro joins Lety in her office and Lety asks Caro to find them a place to have the expo. Aldo comes in and she thanks him for the flowers. Caro suddenly remembers she left some papers in her car and excuses herself. :-) Lety asks Aldo about the pearl he mentioned in the card. He starts to explain, but her phone rings. She answers a question for PM and then asks him to continue, but he'd rather talk about the pearl later, when they're alone. She asks him about this morning's meeting. He sits down and puts on a big smile - the kind of smile that that most people wear when they're happy, but Aldo, cuz he smiles all the time.

He tells her that the problem between himself and Fern is strictly their problem, and not hers. He doesn't want to get into a contest with him, much less put her in the middle of something so nasty. Lety says she just wants to know how the meeting went. (Lety, I think he just told you. ;-) He says nothing serious, but Fern kept trying to embarrass him, and Omar wouldn't let him.

Why not end with a fun meeting?

Luigi runs up to Marcia, who asks if he's okay. He says he feels like he's having something even worse than a mimisqui, and asks Irma for more valerian. She says she already gave him 15 drops. (Is the number 15 significant in Mexican culture? It comes up a lot on this show. Maybe it's Rosy's lucky number?) Now he's offended that she thinks he needs that much. Marcia asks what's wrong, and he says that besides the company being run by someone who's ugly, and having one meeting after another, he's dreading whatever Lety comes up with next. Marcia knows that's not really it, but Luigi evades the question and asks Irma to add some alcohol to his drink so he doesn't burn his eyes looking at Lety.

He goes into the meeting room and calls Fern and Omar Batman and Robin... and now I'm REALLY mad that I never thought to call them that myself. Marcia complains about Lety being late for her own meeting, and all of them having to wait for her. Fern says of course they have to wait for her - she's the president. Lopez comes in (okay suit), saying suckuppy things, followed by Tomas, who avoids making eye contact with everyone in hopes that no one will see him either.

They all stare. They don't even pretend not to. Fern whispers loudly to Marcia that he has one blue (azul) eye and one brown eye. Marcia repeats it to Omar in an angry tone of voice. Omar repeats it to Lopez and Luigi in a more conversational tone, but instead of saying azul, he says "azulado" which basically means the same thing but Lopez hears it as "a su lado" ("on the side"). Lopez says that all eyes are on either one side or the other.

My old boss had one blue eye and one half-blue, half-brown eye. And one was on one side, and one was on the other side. But that's neither here nor there.

Luigi complains to newly-arrived Caro about the "visual aggression" in the room, but his valerian is starting to kick in, and he's in a better mood.

Tomas tires of having Fern stare at his face, and goes to fetch Lety, who is still talking to Aldo. This is the first time Lety has seen the New Tomas. He starts to tell the story about reaching for his mother's stuff while he was half-asleep, but Aldo looks at him disapprovingly and Tomas tells the real story. He wanted to look more like - "Cachirulo!" Lety laughs. I don't know Cachirulo, but I think it has something to do with rollers. Or someone named Lorena Herrera. But Tomas puts his face near Aldo's, and Aldo moves closer to Tomas. With a straight face, Lety says they're exactly alike. He shows her his eyes and says he can't get the other lens out. They all laugh. He reminds her of the meeting. Oh yeah. Pesky work again.

He sees the flowers and asks if he can have them. She says of course not.

In the boardroom, Marcia is still complaining about Lety's lateness. Luigi says it's okay with him if she never shows up. Just then, Lety arrives with her Wonder Twins. Fern acts confused and asks what Aldo's doing there. "Did YOU want him?" he asks Lety. Lety confirms that she invited him, and Aldo thanks Fern for welcoming him. (How he manages to say such things without a hint of sarcasm, I have no idea.) He asks Fern if his presence bothers him.

Fern says yes, it does. He thinks Aldo should stop overstepping his boundaries and go write his book. Aldo asks if Fern thinks he (Aldo) isn't needed, and Fern says yes. Not surprisingly, Luigi disagrees and says Fern doesn't know much about this subject. Fern complains about the chalupas, the tacos, and the refried beans. "And the tlacoyos," Luigi adds.

Aldo does some more esoteric talk about the sense of food, and all that it implies. We all work to get money, and with that money we get a plate of very good food. (Tomas finally speaks up: he agrees about the food.) Food also implies a ritual, sitting down at the table, relaxing, receiving food, eating with the family, with friends; I wonder if Fern and Marcia are remembering what their last dinner together was like!

Best of all, Aldo continues, is savoring the dishes that were prepared with so much love. Luigi dreamily (valerian-induced dreams) agrees. Aldo says there's something else that's the most important: we are gifted with an infinity of flavors, that man can combine to even greater nobility.

Omar says that sounds very good, very interesting. Fern scolds him and says that Aldo's lengthy speeches and cheap philosophy... sorry, folks, it's getting late and I'm falling down on this one. Something about tranquilizing people and making them happy. (Lopez laughs. No one else does.) Aldo puts on big sincere-looking fake smile.

Marcia says, "Do me a favor, Fern - don't be rude to Aldo."

---

Next week
Guillermo wants Fern off of the project.
Will Fern be told to stand in the corner until he can be a big boy? Tune in Monday to find out!

handy words from Alicia's vocabulary
avestruz=ostrich
codazo=elbow
hazana=heroic deed
madrugar=get up early
muchedumbre=crowd

Labels: fea

Labels: mundo

I am not going to recap the new televnovela on Telemundo, Zorro, la
Espalda y la rosa (the sword and the rose) since if you get the channel,
the novela has English subtitles. But for those Caray readers who don’t get
Telemundo, I thought I would report on some of the delicious silliness of
the story so far.

This novela takes place in the past (swords, horses, long skirts on women)
but unlike Alborada and Amor Real, there is not the slightest attempt at
historical accuracy. And how could there be since the story is about a guy
that nobody recognizes when he covers up half his face.

The novela opens in Spain where the father of the heroine, Esmeralda, has
been reappointed a Governor of the town/province/whatever of Los Angeles.
The father is evil and is played by Arturo Peniche of Alborada and Heridas de Amor.
Esmeralda is played by Marlene Favela, who was in the first novela I ever
watched, Gata Salvaje, and was also in Contra Viento y Marea.

In addition to the regular inhabitants of Los Angeles and the soldiers, there are a couple of groups that interact with the characters in this novela. First, there are the gypsies. While in Spain, a group of Gypsies recognize Esmeralda as the daughter of their missing queen.

Since Esmeralda is going to California, the whole band of gypsies goes to
California too. We see Esmeralda on the voyage standing on the bowsprit of
an itty bitty schooner on a calm sunlit sea. In reality, getting the to the
west coast of north America from Europe involved either sailing around the
tip of South America, where gigantic waves and icebergs were not uncommon
or sailing to the east coast of the isthmus of Panama, crossing it on land
and then getting another ship for the Pacific voyage. But never mind,
Esmeralda, her family and the gypsies and all their caravans, etc get to Los Angeles.

The second group are the Indians. I call them Indians rather than
Native Americans because these are Indians from Central Casting for a 1960’s western. They are Caucasians in warpaint and headbands. The young woman Indian wears a fetching buckskin top that reveals her cleavage and is cut off to show her nice flat midriff as well. She has the power to use handfuls of dust with magic words to make horses rear and throw off their riders. However, this power can’t keep her brother from being killed by soldiers and her being wounded.

But wait, there’s more. Diego and Esmeralda fall into the river and go over a big waterfall and end up on the forest on the other side of the river in the territory of the cannibals! These are cannibals right out of Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man’s Chest. They have their faces painted white and wear bones as hair ornaments.

Diego (Zorro in his civvies) almost drowns while trying to rescue
Esmeralda when she falls into the river. Esmeralda revives him with some
mouth to mouth resuscitation and CPR! It partly because putting her mouth on Diego’s reminds her of being kissed by Zorro that enables her to guess that Diego is in fact Zorro. Later they have sex in a stream.

It turns out that Esmeralda’s mother, the queen of the gypsies, is being
held in prison in Los Angeles. For some reason, she has to wear an iron
mask – sort of the feminine version of the Man in the Iron Mask. Her being in
prison is a big secret. Only the Governor knows who she is or why she is
there.

The gypsies send messages to this prisoner by tying tiny notes to a big,
fat white rat that goes into the prison and right to her cell. The stupid
guards don’t notice the white rat with the note tied to its neck. Now as
far as I can tell, the Gypsies just got to Los Angeles so how they set up
this rat communication so quickly is a mystery.

The mysterious prisoner not only has a mask thingy that covers her entire
head and only has openings for her eyes, she is also chained up in her cell
with her arms loosely over her head. The amazing thing is that not
only is she able to get the note from the rat courier and read it, she sends a reply!

There is also a hunchback, a nun who committed incest with her brother and has religious visions and sundry other silliness. The guys are cute too. I like Diego/Zorro a lot. There's a hot young gypsy, an evil soldier and Oswaldo Rios plays Diego's father and he is very good looking too. It’s very entertaining and I’m sorry if your TV service doesn’t carry Telemundo.

Labels: Zorro

Read more »

Labels: index

What a sad day for Mundo fans everywhere....preempted by an awards show. Well, fortunately I have Diego de la Vega to comfort me! Zorro, here I come!

Labels: mundo

No episode tonight because there's an award show on. We'll have to wait till tomorrow to see if Emilio rescues Flor!

Labels: duelo

A repeat of F/G trying manipulate the Soriano sisters into taking revenge on the Irascibles. She's failing.

We're at some bar where Emili-Oh is with his cousin, waiting for Camila. Sylvie's wig is now black. I can't even begin to describe her outfit. I think it's a black upside down umbrella with a tight white tank top and a huge white ceramic heart dangling from her neck. Around her waist is an orange tube-top looking thing, with a red belt. Ooh, let's not forget the black dots she's painted on her cheek. Sylvie tells him for being as beautiful as he is (which he is), he's really slow. Sylvie wants to dance, but Emili-Oh says "you know I don't dance." "No wonder you're still single!" At this point Peyote walks in with some dopey dude (possibly Rene?) who runs off to find some drugs. Peyote spies Max's best friend, Emili-Oh, at the bar and goes to talk to him. Sylvie tries to set the two of them up. Peyote flirts but says Emili-Oh "isn't my type." Andres hands off the coke to Dopey Dude and Peyote joins them and plants a wet one on Andres. Dopey Dude hands Peyote the cocaine and Emili-Oh catches the exchange. Emili-Oh punches Dopey Dude. "Then what I've heard is true," says Emili-Oh "you DO use drugs!" No one else in the bar seems to have noticed the punch.

Paco is talking to F/G as F/G is getting ready for her show. P—"Any luck in recruiting the girls to help you take down the Irascibles?" F/G—"Not yet. They're still hurting. I'll turn them around sooner or later." I need to get their granny alone. Diana said their parents are dead. I want to find out from Granny how they died."

Lala and Diego are at Granny M's house. Discussing, what else? The Irascibles! Diana wants to know if Lala has heard anything further about Max's impending move to Mexico. Lala says not yet. Diego chimes in saying he hopes Max moves far away and never returns! ***Meow!***

Emili-Oh is still confronting Peyote at the bar. She is yelling at him to leave her alone. No one seems to notice. Dopey Dude walks up and pretends to know karate. This is the same Dopey Dude that Emili-Oh knocked down with a single blow. Dopey Dude and Peyote leave. Sylvia walks up and wants to know what she missed. "And what's that white powder on the floor?"

Max is taking D/M to buy "modern" clothing since all her clothes are two year's old. "Buy anything you want!" says Max. What happened to his yellow Corvette? Now he's in a black Mercedes convertible. They are parked in front of Office Depot, and some guy is standing in the background watching them film this scene.

Andres pulls up in a Volvo, with Doc Evil sitting in the back seat. Doc Evil apparently needs clothing as well.

D/M and Max are strolling around the mall. D/M asks Max if he's decided whether or not he wants to move to Mexico. "No I haven't and quit bugging me about it!" D/M looks frustrated.

Doc Evil is asking Andres if Andres thinks Diana is suffering now. Andres assures Doc Evil she is.

D/M and Max are continuing their stroll, but now Max's sweater is half tucked into his white belt. Please tell me he's not wearing white shoes with his dark pants. OMG! I just replayed this scene and Max IS wearing white shoes with his dark pants! I am so appalled I don't even know what D/M is saying. I'm fixated on Max's attire. Kind of like driving by a car wreck.

D/M has presumably forgotten her purse in the car and goes out to get it. Doc Evil is on his way into the mall and Andres is left outside to polish the Volvo. As D/M walks out, she and Doc Evil pass each other but are looking in different directions. That can't be said for Andres. He sees D/M and says "Debora! My wife! Maldita!" Andres is impactado.

Diana is sitting at Granny M's sewing machine. The doorbell rings. It's ***stalker*** Diego. He's bringing her a pink rose. "It's not as beautiful as you are." Do these lines even work any more? He then starts in with pressuring Diana to marry him. "Have you given thought to my proposition?" **For crying out loud!!!!!!!!** Diana looks as befuddled as ever.

Bruno has gone to visit RM. Isabel tells Bruno Marfil is sleeping now because she spent the whole night crying. Marfil wakes up and calls Bruno a traitor. Bruno tries to explain why she did what she did, but Marfil isn't believing a word of it. Bruno then makes things even worse by telling Marfil Max and D/M are planning on moving to Mexico. Marfil lets out a shrill "NO!!!" Personally I'd rather hear fingernails on a chalkboard than listen to Marfil's whiny screech.

I just noticed the license plate of Max's Mercedes. They did not blur out the license plate number. Hmmm. I wonder who it's registered to in real life. I can't tell if it's a rental car or not. It looks like a dealer license plate frame from Mercedes Benz of Miami. I'm surprised they didn't put dealer plates or temporary tags on it. I digress. Andres is parked next to Max and he confronts Debora. Debora looks scared.

Octave is grousing to her sister Yolanda about Diana. The usual topic when not griping about her ingrate children. She appears to be drinking from an empty tea cup. Lala is sweeping next to Octave and taking everything in. Octave accuses Lala of listening. Lala leaves and Yolanda points out that Lala has worked for them for years. Octave is being paranoid. "Am I? Lala is on Diana's side!"

Andres wants to know who D/M is with. He reminds her she's a thief. She threatens to scream and he tells her to knock herself out. He'll tell everyone who and what she is. He then starts choking her. Lots of yelling and struggling. D/M knees Andres in the groin and shoves him into the open trunk of the Volvo and closes the deck lid. She then jumps into the Mercedes and drives off. I will say the Volvo's deck lid was open the whole time while Max was presumably cleaning the car.

Diego**stalker** is still **stalker** trying to convince **stalker** Diana to marry him. He is begging and groveling. She finally tells him her answer is no. For once Diana is starting to grow a spine. At least as far as Stalker, I mean Diego, goes.

D/M as has apparently parked somewhere else at this huge mall and miraculously finds Max. "I don't like this place. I want to leave NOW!" Max wants to know why. There's perfectly good clothing here. Max starts getting suspicious so D/M has to suck it up and stay.

Lots of sobbing and whining by Bruno and Marfil at Isabel's house. The pitch is so annoying I had to mute the sound. On and on they seem to go about Debora stealing Max. Isabel is standing there wishing she could afford extra heavy duty noise-canceling headphones. Isabel tries to comfort Marfil after Bruno leaves to no avail. I'm sure it's to get her to shut up.

Now she's done it. D/M is trying to explain why she suddenly hates the mall. It's because she wants to spend time with Max and convince him to move to Mexico. Max has had enough of the Mexico talk. He's not going anywhere! He all but stamps his foot as he delivers this line.

Oh for heaven's sake!!!! We're back to Diego and Diana AGAIN! Diego is asking "Are you absolutely, positively, unequivocally sure you won't marry me." Diana says she's absolutely, positively, unequivocally sure she doesn't love him. Diego wanders off to presumably eat worms.

Sylvie has electric blue hair now! And some black outfit with a black bubble skirt! Sylvie must have so much fun getting ready for her scenes! I want to be Sylvie! Any way, Camila is talking about the fight with D/M. S—"Like two cats?" I believe Sylvie wants to go after Larry, but I can't be sure. Her hair was distracting me. Camila says all is not lost yet; she hasn't given up on Max. Sylvie is worried they'll never be rich now.

Doc Evil is returning to his Volvo. They flash the license plate on this car as well. The license plate frame reads Miami-Warren Beury (or Henry). He asks "Where is that idiot, Andres?" On cue, there is shouting from the trunk. Doc Evil lets Andres out. Andres is screaming how he was attacked by his wife and locked in the trunk. DE—"Look here, brainiac. Here's the trunk release you could have used to free yourself hours ago!" Andres looks sheepish.

D/M and Max still arguing about going to Mexico. Ain't happening!

Filler scene with Isabel helping Marfil with physical therapy. Marfil in a pink lacy negligee is all smiles. Presumably therapy is going well. A couple of boats going by. A traffic scene of exit signs for 957 or 937, Alton Road. I can't find it on my atlas. I did find A1A, however.

Diana is sitting at Granny's sewing machine while Granny is measuring a woman. Diana and Max's theme song is playing in the background. Max is at the office working on his laptop with a far away look. The music plays on. You see Larry's pec. Now you hear Larry and Gaby's music. The camera pans up as Larry is kissing Pilars picture. He's all weepy. Sappy music plays. Now there is a night scene of the city. I guess this means some time has passed. Speaking of time, who wants to bet D/M turns up pregnant, either for real or for fake?!

D/M is trying to feed Max some food off her plate. He pushes her hand away. She starts making fish lips at him. The music plays on.

Marfil has now been wheeled into Isabel's kitchen. She is doing some hand exercises using some red little stress reliever thingies. "Thingies" is the technical term. Music is still playing. Gaby is sitting on the bed staring at Lunkhead's picture. Diana is writing Maximiliano's name on her mirror in red lipstick and drawing little red hearts all around his name. Still music. A bird flies. More traffic on the freeway. F/G and Paco sitting with the fatherly lawyer. The music continues to play. A night-time view of the city. FINALLY a caption reads one month later!

Diana is sewing. Granny M brings in some juice and tells Diana she needs a break from all that sewing she's been doing. "If I don't get this dress done, the client will be angry and not pay us. Then we won't have money for rent." Granny talks Diana into taking a break. Granny—"You look so pale and sad. Are you still pining away for Max?" Diana—"Of course I am. Gaby and I just can't forget our loves. They're in our hearts."

D/M and Octave are chatting about what else. . .Diana. Octave wants to know how things are going between D/M and Max. D/M says they're fine, but he still thinks about Diana. Octave suggests D/M get pregnant. There's no better way to tie down a man. **Can I call it or what?!** D/M thinks that's a splendid idea! D/M asks if Octave has heard anything about Diana. Octave says no. "I hope she's been eaten by crocodiles," adds D/M.

Granny M is telling Diana that time is the best medicine for a broken heart. Diana tells her it could be a thousand years later and she'll still care for Max. All of a sudden Diana collapses and Granny starts dithering around her saying "Ay! Ay! Ay!"

Max and Emili-Oh are at work discussing women. Max says he can't get Diana out of his mind. Emili-Oh reminds Max he's married to Marfil. Max says he hasn't forgotten, but every time he kisses Marfil, he thinks of Diana. When he holds Marfil in his arms, he dreams of holding Diana. And when he's making love. . .(Max's voice trails off at this little tidbit). The two men discuss how awful it is to love someone they can't have. Emili-Oh points out that women aren't the only ones who suffer because of love. Men suffer as well. ** So who do you think Emili-Oh is in love with? I'm thinking Peyote.**

Lala, Diego and Pancho are talking about Pancho's upcoming wedding. Pancho wants out. Lala tells him he'd better not. Pancho asks Diego about Diana. "I've lost her" laments Diego.

Granny M has some how managed to get Diana to sit on the sofa. Granny is mopping Diana's forehead with alcohol. OK. I'm slow on the uptake. I'm betting Diana is pregnant with Max's love child. Granny asks Diana why she's so pale. "It must be anemia" explains Diana. Granny's says she'll make Diana some nice chicken soup with lots of vitamins. After Granny leaves, the phone rings. When Diana answers, Max says "Diana? My sweet Diana?" Diana asks "Who is this? Who's calling? Why aren't you saying anything?" Love theme plays and we're treated to a commercial break.

Max just sits on the phone like an idiot, not saying a word. He finally hangs up on Diana. Diana sounds miffed. "Who was that?" wonders Diana. Max is off in his dream world when Emili-Oh comes in babbling about business figures. Max is off in space. "Are you even listening to me?" asks Emili-Oh. "You're thinking about HER again, aren't you! Diana. Are you sure everything that Camila and Doc Evil said is true? They're not exactly unbiased when it comes to Diana."

"Thing" from the Addams Family gives a letter to Andres. All we can see is part of a hand. Andres takes the letter and calls Doc Evil. Doc Evil opens it and is thrilled. It's a Subpoena to appear at Diana's trial in a week! "Now we're really going to bury her!" says Doc Evil smugly.

F/G appears at Granny M's house to tell Diana her trial starts in a week. "Are you ready?"

Emili-Oh is trying to convince Max that Diana could possibly be innocent. Doc Evil isn't exactly the pillar of society. Max tells Emili-Oh to stop confusing him. "Of course Diana did all those evil things." He personally watched her get arrested! "That doesn't mean anything," continues Emili-Oh. "She may still be innocent." Max refuses to listen and tries to convince himself Diana really did try to rob and kill Doc Evil.

Debora comes to visit Marfil. Debora gloats about how wonderful her life is with Max and about all the sex they're having. Marfil tells Debora to get out. After Debora finally leaves, Marfil vows to get better and reveal Debora as an impostor. Debora is going to pay!

F/G is telling Diana not to worry about the upcoming trial. F/G will prepare her well. Some how F/G starts talking about her own case, her lawyer and how she was framed for killing her husband. "But I'm here to talk about your case. Not mine." Diana stands up and just about faints. Diana tells F/G that she's always nauseated in the morning. F/G asks Diana about her period. "It's always been irregular." F/G tells Diana she needs to see a doc immediately. She's pregnant! Diana looks confused.

Max and Emili-Oh are having another discussion about Diana. Emili-Oh suggests that Max find out what really happened and Max saying Diana is trash and he'll never forgive her. Emili-Oh suggests convincing Doc Evil to drop the charges as an act of compassion. Max doesn't like that idea one bit.

Sylvia now has white hair and is wearing a shirt that reads "I'm not as innocent as I look." She's talking on the phone while Camila is hanging out on the sofa. If my understanding is correct, Sylvie has made an appointment with a "doctor of the occult sciences." Camila asks why she would want to see a witch. Sylvie, whose enthusiasm can't be dampened, says he famous! Apparently he'll help Sylvie land Lunkhead (as if…) and Camila get Max back. You've got to love Sylvie's energy and optimism!

F/G finally convinces Diana to go to the hospital to get checked. Diana is in denial, she can't possibly be pregnant! While Diana is in the other room getting her purse, Granny comes out and wants to know what's going on. F/G tells her Diana's trial is next week. Presumably Diana is going with her to get prepped for trial. F/G then asks Granny how Diana's and Gaby's parents died.

Max shows up at Doc Evil's office. Doc Evil asks if Granny DS is OK. "Yes," says Max. "Granny is fine. I'm here to talk about Diana. . .

Roll those credits!

Labels: acorralada

Octave is standing with her back to Bruno and D/M in someone's bedroom. Why don't I know? Because Bruno is frantically passing the cane to D/M so D/M can pretend to be still recovering from her "accident." I didn't see anyone walk in to the room. If Octave had entered D/M's room, she would have seen D/M walking around without a cane. If D/M and Bruno had entered the room, D/M would not have been without her cane. I just don't get it. Oh well, it doesn't matter.

Octave is there to tell D/M about the fight between Max and Diego. D/M slips up and says she knows about it. "How can that be? You weren't here," says Octave. D/M is starting to make up some story, but Octave cuts her off and says it doesn't matter. The important thing is that Max now thinks Diana is a tramp who has deceived him. Octave--"Now is the time to work your feminine magic and re-capture Max's attention. I think the two of you should move to Mexico for a couple of years so Max can put Diana behind him and start being a husband to you." Octave doesn't need to tell D/M twice. Bruno starts to object but D/M and Octave basically ignore her. Octave enlists D/M's help in luring Max to Mexico.

Lala is telling Gaby and Nancy about the fight between Diego and Max, and that Diego has been fired from Psycho Mansion. Nancy is sad that she'll never get to see Diego again. Gaby had no idea there was a fight. Lala fills in Gaby, and tells her she has no idea what has gotten into Diego. Diego is acting like his brother. What shame! In all her years at the mansion she's never seen a scandal of this nature. Lala tells Gaby she and her sister Diana picked a bad time to fall in love with the Irascible tools! Gaby says she must leave to comfort her sister. Nancy has a tear running down her cheek.

Boring stuff at Paco's bar. Apparently F/G's old friend and attorney has come up with some information that will clear F/G's name and create a scandal in the social circle of which Octave is a queen bee. F/G does her usual vengeance speech about how Octave and her family are all going to pay dearly for framing her. She wants Octave to spend the rest of her life in jail!

Gaby is on her way out of Psycho Mansion to comfort Diana. Octave spots her and asks her where she's going. When Gaby spinelessly says she's going to comfort Diana. Octave forbids her to go. "If you leave, you can never return." "Very well," says Gaby, who actually seems to have a spark of anger in her eyes, despite caving in to Octave's orders.

Max comes downstairs and Octave asks him to accompany her to the garden.

D/M is on a tirade with Bruno. D/M thinks moving to Mexico with Max is the idea of the century. Bruno reminds D/M that D/M is not Max's wife. The usual fight ensues.

Diego shows up at Granny M's and Diana's house. Granny tells Diego that Diana is devastated. Granny then sends Diego to Diana's bedroom to talk some sense into her. Diana is on the bed crying about how much she loves Max and how unfair life is. She is wallowing in her role of victim right now. Poor, poor, pitiful me!

Octave is strolling arm in arm with Max in the garden. Octave starts in on what a low-life (una muerta de hambre) Diana is. Max doesn't want to discuss his love-life with mom. Octave goes on and on about forgetting Diana and resurrecting his marriage to Marfil. If he moves to Mexico for two years with Marfil, she will make him a president of some department of the perfume company. "Think about it."

Diego seizes the opportunity to continue his campaign to make Diana his wife. Is this guy THAT desperate? The whole conversation is too disgusting for words. I'm really beginning to think Diego is a stalker. He's creeping me out. What ever happened to "No means No"? Granny needs to stick to her day job as a seamstress and quit moonlighting as a matchmaker and egging this maniac on. Diana tells him she needs to think about it and totally bursts into tears after Diego leaves. She thought bubbles, "What have I done to deserve every man sniffing around my tail, except the one putz I want?"

Octave is plotting with D/M. O—"All good women convince their men to do things by using the bed." D/M thinks that's a splendid idea.

Caramel is at Lala's, Diego's and Pancho's house for dinner. Caramel is prattling on and on about how happy she is that she and Pancho are getting married. Diego is slouched in a chair glowering. Lala is trying to be polite. Caramel asks Lala why she doesn't seem so excited. Lala tells her it's been a long day in the office. Lala leaves the room and then Caramel continues her happy babbling to Diego, trying to get him to act as excited as she is. Caramel nauseatingly goes on and on about how much in love she and Pancho are, and how they're going to be so happy.

Pancho is doing push-ups in the bedroom, when Lala walks in and tells him to stand up. "We need to talk!" She reminds him that he's getting married in a month and needs to quit sneaking around with Peyote. He tries to deny it. Lala then goes on to tell him what happened between Max and Diego earlier in the day. Pancho doesn't believe it.

D/M is in her bedroom pouring on a gallon of perfume. She is wearing some naughty little red number with black garters, stockings, and FM shoes. Bruno walks in and is aghast. More fighting between D/M and Bruno, about D/M's wanting to do the horizontal bop with Max. Bruno says sleeping with Max wasn't part of the plan. D/M—"Well guess what, now it is and there's not a thing you can do about it!" Bruno tries to grab D/M as D/M is strutting out of the room, but D/M pushes her onto the bed calling Bruno and idiot. After D/M leaves, Bruno the evil ice queen, starts crying. "What have I done? Debora has stolen Marfil's husband!"

Max is splayed out on the bed, drunk. He keeps muttering Diana's name and the thought of moving to Mexico. "That's what I need. I need to move to Mexico and forget that phony!" Next to the bed is some tall decanter with only about a quarter of the cherry-colored kool-aid liquid still in it. In one hand is an almost empty wine glass.

In struts D/M without her cane and wearing 18-inch heels with black pompoms on them. D/M then seduces Max, which of course doesn't take much. She's got on some really wet-looking lipstick and actually licks Max before zeroing in for the kill. Those two deserve one another!

Camila and Sylvie are gloating about Max dumping Diana and the look on Max's face when Camila told him about Diana's past. Emili-Oh is serving them drinks. He can't believe they are gossiping about Diana. Camila makes the mistake about attributing Diana's downfall to gossip from Andres. Emili-Oh asks what kind of person would listen to a blackmailer such as Andres. Camilia doesn't care, she's just glad Max dumped Diana. Emili-Oh asks what difference does it make if Max dumps Diana, because Max is still married to Marfil. Camila points out that Marfil is no competition at all!

Max and D/M are in bed together. This is too disgusting to even write about. Lots of face swallowing. D/M is begging Max to promise her she's the only one and that they will move to Mexico.

It is breakfast time and Granny M is trying to get Diana to eat. Diana is not hungry. She mentions she needs to go out and find a job. Granny M tells her to forget about the Irascibles. Diana tells Granny that Diego proposed "last night." Granny is delighted! He's such a **stalker** wonderful **stalker** noble **stalker** man! "Unlike that idiot Max who believes the first bad thing someone tells him."

Breakfast poolside at the Irascible mansion. Octave, Yolanda and Peyote are at one round table; Lunkhead, D/M and Max at another. Gaby is nowhere to be seen. She's either banished to the kitchen or servant's quarters. D/M has some good news she'd like to share! "Max and I are no longer getting divorced! Not only that, we are moving to Mexico!" Peyote asks Max if he's on drugs. Max agrees the divorce is off, but that he's still thinking about the job in Mexico. He hasn't decided. Octave is overjoyed at the news! They need to be alone together to repair the devastation to their marriage. Lunkhead thinks moving to Mexico is a good idea. That's where Pilar is and perhaps he'll go look for her. Octave puts the breaks on that idiotic suggestion. Even Peyote thinks looking for Pilar is a bad idea. Octave then tells Peyote that's the first coherent thing Peyote has said in awhile. Wham—slamming all her kids within 5 seconds!!

Nancy and Lala are in the kitchen talking to Gaby. Nancy rushes to tell Gaby the news from breakfast. Max is moving to Mexico. Gaby says Diana is going to die when she finds out. "Wait," says Nancy "That's not the worst. Larry wants to go to Mexico to find Pilar." Gaby is impactada. Lala reminds Gaby that she needs to get over Larry. "He's really not into you."

Octave is now in the living room with Max. She is thrilled that he's considering moving to Mexico with Marfil and that Max is now towing the line and following Octaves wishes. Max says to lay off, he hasn't decided about the move yet, "but if you're worried about me starting up with Diana again, don't worry. It's over for good this time." Octave couldn't be happier!

Diana is at the sewing machine putting on make-up and mooning about how much she loves Max. At that very moment the phone rings. It's Lala calling to give her bad news. "Is it about Max?"

Gaby is wheeling her suitcase through the living room when she runs into Lunkhead. Who cares what Lunkhead is wearing at this point. "What are you doing with your suitcase?" asks the master of the obvious. Gaby—"I'm leaving this house of horrors forever!"

Lala tells Diana that Max is moving to Mexico for two years. With his wife. Huge sigh and doe eyes from Diana.

Gaby tells Lunkhead she's his wife, but she's not his wife. They don't sleep together, eat together, and his family treats her like a zero. Lunkhead has the gall to apologize for being spineless and not standing up to his mom. Further, the tool has tears in his eyes. Gaby says he has nothing to apologize for. She was happy for the five minutes of their wedding day. It was a dream come true. Octave and Max walk up shattering this heart-warming little scene. Octave asks "wha's up with the suitcase?" "I'm leaving forever" states Gaby. "You haven't stolen anything have you?" Larry and Max defend Gaby. Larry turns to Gaby with tears rolling down his cheeks and tenderly touches Gaby's face. ***Puh-leeze!*** Then he turns around and walks away. Octave points to the front door and tells Gaby "don't let it hit you on your way out!" Max asks Octave why she must humiliate people. "Yo?" asks Octave.

Bruno and D/M are still discussing the impending move to Mexico, when Octave storms in. "You're not doing a very good job of convincing Max to move to Mexico."

Emili-Oh is at work but on the phone with Max. Apparently Max is asking for advice about moving to Mexico. There's a knock on the door and it's the slut cousins. Camila is wearing a black halter top with sequins and black low-rise capris. Sylvie is in a white low cut tank top, a black short skirt, and a white wig to match her white top. The outfit wouldn't be complete without Sylvie's white lace anklets and black stiletto heels. What visions of chastity! They've come to hit up Camila's favorite brother (and only brother that I know of) for a "loan." Sylvie has her hand out doing the "gimme, gimme, gimme" thing. Emili-Oh asks Camila if she's heard that Max is thinking about moving to Mexico with Marfil. Camila is impactada. "That thief!!!!" She storms out of the room, slamming the door. Sylvie, who can all but taste the blood, says "oh no, D/M is in trouble now! The mansion will be shaking!"

Diana asks Lala to find out when Max and D/M are leaving. She wants to go to the airport to see Max "for the last time." ***Cry me a river!***

Max is curled up on the bed in a fetal position thinking about Diana and how she "done him wrong." D/M walks in and climbs on top of him, pulling all her best moves to convince him to move.

Gaby returns to Granny M's house. Heartbroken. Granny M is all but tap-dancing with happiness that Gaby is now home.

Lunkhead is splayed on the bed lamenting about his pathetic behavior. He tries to mock-apologize to the now absent Gaby for using her. He'll never love her. Doesn't Lunkhead have some other telenovela to go to? He really needs to just disappear. What a slug.

Yolanda and Nancy are talking when the doorbell rings about 80 times. Before Nancy can answer the door, Camila comes flying in. "Where's Marfil?" Yolanda says upstairs. Camila runs up the stairs. D/M is patting herself on the back when Camila barges in. Another cat fight ensues with each trying to out-do the other with insults and threats. Someone needs to turn a fire hose on those two, who at this point are biting, slapping, screaming, punching, and rolling around on the bed.

F/G is talking to Paco at his bar. She's saying the attorney is a good man and will bury the Irascibles. She then says how sorry she feels for Gaby and Diana who have fallen for the wrong men. "They remind me of my daughters who were stolen from me." Foreshadowing anyone?

Max is sitting on the bed saying he needs to hate Diana and forget about her.

The fight continues until Bruno walks in and breaks it up. How big is this house? I find it hard to believe that no one hears the commotion.

Octave is pointing out to Yolanda that it's strange she hasn't heard further from F/G. Yolanda suggests that F/G has left Miami.

Filler stuff. Paco and Lorenzo are talking about F/G and her daughters. Who cares?

Back to the fight. Now Bruno is in the middle of the two fieras. Too bad she didn't bring her whip and chair! Camila threatens to kill D/M. Personally, they seem to be pretty evenly matched. After Camila finally leaves, D/M threatens Bruno, "Don't you dare say a word about this to Max!" I could all but hear this Miami fight in Illinois. I guess Max is wallowing too deep in his own private cesspool to hear a thing.

F/G is at Granny M's house talking to Granny, Diana and Gaby. F/G is trying to incite a riot. Neither Gaby nor Diana wants any part of destroying the Irascible boys. Granny pleads with F/G to not destroy the souls of her granddaughters. F/G is too caught up in her own personal vendetta to care about the girls. She is going to make the Irascibles crawl at her feet!

Credits roll!

Labels: acorralada

Acorralada #27 Monday 2/19

We begin with a meeting of Camila and Max. She is trying to tell him the terrible secret—he doesn’t want to hear any of her trash talk. Nothing will change his opinion (stay tuned). He does remember that he saw the police arresting her, and he wonders why she didn’t give an honest answer when she first met him? (this is not completely clear to me because I didn’t see the early episodes).

Cut to Peyote lying in bed. She breathily repeats the name of her exciting new lover: “Pancholon.” “Pancholon.” She gets more excited with each recitation.

Camila now tells Max that D tired to rob and kill Doc Evil. Max still doesn’t believe. But then he remembers that Doc Evil wanted to tell him something . . . hmmm. Wasn’t that right after Camila stabbed Evil? This just doesn’t make sense. Since Camila stabbed Evil herself, doesn’t she realize that Diana really didn’t try to kill him? (But Diana’s incident was earlier. I guess Camila thinks everyone goes around attempting murder . . .)
Max is now growing suspicious. He goes to see his friend Ignacio.

D/M is talking to Bruno about Granny DS. They are upset that she saw them, but they figure no one will believe what she says. A knock at the door. D/M must scramble for her cane. It’s Camila, who is there to gloat that the nurse will soon be on the way out. Of course, Camila still thinks D/M is RM.

Now for another BIG revelation. Yolanda and O are talking. We now learn that Paola is O’s daughter by another man! (not husband who fathered Max and Larry.) O went on a business trip and came back pregnant. She realizes she sinned, so she hates her daughter as the product of sin, even though the loved the man very much, blah blah blah. That’s why she treats Paola so badly. Yolanda remonstrates with her on this. But she doesn’t call O a “muerta de hambre,” unfortunately.

Max goes to see Doc Evil. You’ve got to love Doc Evil’s dyed blond hair. It looks so fake. Evil says that he knows her from when they worked at the hospital. Iago tells Othello ….oops, I mean Evil tells Max . . . that Diana was the plaything of all the doctors there, she had affairs with everyone there and wanted to marry a millionaire, etc. You can hardly see the wheels turning in dim-bulb Max’s brain. Still, he doesn’t believe.

Larry is reclining on bed in usual pinup pose. Pilar calls and yells for help again. Gaby comes in.

Max protests to Evil that Diana seems so innocent. That’s just part of her game, says Evil.

D/M and Cam are talking about Max. More about how they will soon be rid of the nurse, but undercurrent about how they are really rivals.

Larry and Gaby talk. She doesn’t want to leave her room because it makes Octavia mad. You shouldn’t have asked me to marry you. I was dreaming of you for so long while serving you breakfast. You need help, but your mother won’t accept me. I can’t help you.

O comes in. What is she doing here? She is not allowed in the bedrooms. If you need to talk to her, you have to talk in the garden or living room. Larry says he hasn’t touched her.

Granny M is going to church to pray for her girls. Diana remains at home and calls Gaby. Gavy is crying and Diana tells her to come home. But she won’t leave Larry. She says if she doesn’t fight, he’ll never love her.

D/M arrives at the little house to see RM. She is wearing a black leather miniskirt, boots and jacket. RM is paralyzed in bed.

Diana prays to the virgencita. Max comes in and tells her that she’s taken him for a fool. She tries to persuade him, but the celos monster has taken over.

D/M and RM have a repetitive back and forth discussion about who will take who’s place, etc. RM once again reminds D/M that she was always a bad student in school and had bad grades. No wonder D/M became a carjacker.

Diana tries to get Max to listen, but he just calls her trash (basura). You wanted the Irascible fortune, and it’s a good thing I got out in time. Exit Max. Enter Diego.

Zombie vows to unmask the leather girl. Uh-oh—D/M pulls a very large gun.

Diego comes in. Diana cries about how she begged Max to believe her. Diego thinks Max is an idiot. More Max bashing.

Back at the little house, Isabel and D/M have a violent wrestling match. Isobel manages to wrest gun away.

At the pool, Octavia is talking to Emilio. The drip returns and Lala comes in. Suddenly Diego comes in. How did they all get there so fast? Max has a Corvette, but Diego seems to walk everywhere. Max and Diego begin fighting. They’re near the edge of the pool. You know they’re going in, but you’ll have to wait . . .

Diana goes to see Gaviota. Nothing happens.

Diego hits Max. Max strangles Diego. Now they tumble into the pool! More fighting. Now Larry and Emilio jump in.

Diana confesses to Gaviota that in the storm she gave into Max. It was her first time. Now he’s saying the worst things. Gaviota sees this as a chance to recruit Diana to her vengeance campaign. Diana declines. Gaviota rages about how they ruined her life, think about my proposals.

Back at the pool, Octavia orders Diego out. With pleasure he says, but his mom, Lala, tries to intervene. Peyote comes in. She’s thrilled, because no more piano lessons. O tells Lala and Max to meet her in the library. O tells Lala that if Diego comes back, he will go to prison.
Back at the bar, Paco receives a call from Gaviota’s lawyer. He apparently has some new evidence that is going to prove her innocent. We don’t know what this is.

Bruno is back in D/M’s bedroom with a cane. D/M had to sneak in with the leather outfit. It’s about time you came back. Max and the piano teacher came to blows and fell in the pool over that nurse.

Max is lamenting to Larry about how Diana was the town pump. Octavia opens the door and overhears. They don’t see her. Larry says that she seems innocent. Ha, that’s her trick. I hate her. O smiles!

RM is fearful because Bruno used to be on her side. Bruno loves you, says Isabel. Don’t worry. We will get back to unmask D/M.

Octavia comes in to talk to D/M and Bruno. D/M must scamper to get her cane. O wonders why D/M was out. But she quickly forgets and says that she missed all the excitement. Good news. That qualquiera has a case against her. This is a great moment. She now lets us in on another plan. She will send D/M and Max to Mexico for two years to start up or run another perfume factory. D/M eye rolls with glee.

Labels: acorralada

Labels: duelo