Caray, Caray!

Before getting into tonite's tale of woe I would like to make a commentary....
Having followed Rosy O'Campo's "pièce de résistance" LFMB, I sincerely believe Mundo lost a great opportunity of blatant commercialism. We are living in a material world. Now this is in no way a spoiler...I am certain that those of you who are following LFMB, have noticed the subtle infomercials with in the show...Lety's Ford Focus, the Nextel Telephones and other things that will come up.....Well what a chance was missed with Mundo...

Leo's bedazzeled jacket comes to mind, hows about a pitch for ACME dynamite, another for ACME fiberglass rowboats "They don't sink", what about plus size servent uniforms, a direct TV remote can easily be converted to an explosive remote, why didn't Demian rush out and buy a new Hummer and then he could explain to all the employees why it is the Mafioso vehicle of choice, bullet proof glass is extra, Sherman Williams is no doubt the choice of La Fieras for their make-up, I bet Elsa would enjoy Jose Cuervo, she could kinda wink at the audience while stealing a swig, and Mundo certainly could have promoted Viagra, with a disclaimer "if erection exists longer than 4 hours call Leo". Anyhow I'm just sayin.

Now on to the grief fest that was tonite's show.

At the very beginning we got a few moments of Regina's gut wretching death...
On to Demian locked in the room with Regina's body...Poor Demian he is crazed with grief. He wails at the fates, then trys to conjole Regina, claiming his Regina is only sleeping and he will take care of her and never leave her. Gabe is beating on the door, to no avail; Demian is in his own lil world and reality will be kept at bay as long as the door is locked.

Dolores enters the waiting room, where people are standing around with that uncomfortable not meeting anyone's eye stance that people always have when waiting for grave news. Tiberio, Rog, Diana, Karen & Joselyn are all present. Dolores gives them the bad news, everyone is grief stricken. Even Joselyn looks remorseful, she says that she must tell Miriam and asks Karen to accompany her. Karen opts to remain at the hospital to console JC & Paulina. Joselyn makes a quick exit, I actually do believe she felt bad and not knowing what to do with these new feeling of sympathy for someone other than herself, she had to make a hasty retreat. Gabe now enters the waiting room and says Demian has locked himself in the room and won't come out. Rog and Tiberio go with Gabe.

Demian is still talking to Regina, like she is just resting, when security opens the door, two big guys come in with Gabe & the cousins. Gabe tries to talk to Demian, then Tiberio then Rog, finally Leo gets Demian to go with him. Suddenly Demian realizes what is going on and tries to bolt back into the room; security drags him away. Gabe & Leo are in with Regina and Gabe has pink eye from the squelching of tears, now enter the priest and Candelabra for last rites. Last rites are performed, no need for detail here, you can imagine. Finally Leo covers Regina with the sheet.

Karen and Rog are having words about the meaning of life, how fleeting, how they lived such frivolous lives...Diana overhears and you can tell by her look, she ain't buyin what Rog is sellin.

On to JC, Paulina & Karen; well it is rather pointless to say JC is overwhelmed, he just had a bone marrow transplant and his mother died. JC is all worried about his father who only lived for Regina...JC like most children is unaware of the string of chicks, Demian kept on the side. JC tells Paulina to go with Karen to the Cafeteria and get something to eat.

At some point JC is wheeled in to see his mother, by Gabe who leaves him with Regina. JC is sobbing and thanking his mother for her great sacrifice and he vows to be the best person, the best husband and the best father he can be...He knows she is in heaven, but he will carry her with him always, yeah like in his blood.

Leo goes to see Demian who is with the security guys and a nurse. The nurse has a big ol hypo in her hand...Demian is manic and Leo give him an injection of what appears to be a horse tranquilizer, Demian kinda slumps down and Leo backs off....HA HA HA fooled you, Dr. Dooright...Demian makes an incredible leap across the room and wraps his hands around Leo's neck. Gotta say hey nice shot...especially considering he has just been given an enormous tranquilzer, he has a wooden leg and has no depth perception...I say nice shot man.

Security pulls him off Leo and for a moment it sounds like Leo has a crushed windpipe; but alas this too shall pass. Cough Cough Leo is okay and Demian is drug off somewhere.

Alone in his room JC is thinking and tears are running down his face...when who bursts in the door, but his now totally cranked up father, I think whatever Leo gave Demian is having an adverse reaction, cause he is going all AngelDust on them.

Demian starts ranting Asesino, Asesino, Asesino....yes he clearly blames JC for Regina's death. He is all like, yeah you pathetic little whiner...you just couldn't cowboy up and take it like a man...Your mother sacrificed her life for you. JC whines back Papa, Papa....Demian lunges at JC and I'm thinking, Jeez he's gonna remove the new marrow & clone it, but no he slaps JC. Spouts some more venom, twirls around on his peg leg and he is out the door.

Diana follows Karen and Paulina to the cafeteria, where she says sorry about your loss and about Rog, she tells Karen she doesn't believe Rog has changed...but Karen says everyone deserves a second chance..Diana is all whatever, and she leaves.

Now we see the grill of the Hummer and a single headlight...oh I get it...artistic devise, Demian has one eye...okay, now remember he is driving the narrow streets on AngelDust.

Anyway Demian is high above MX City (we see the lights of the city below...actually this view looks like where my sister-in-law lives...it really is part of the city, but there are like twenty million lights...yeah that's it, twenty million flashlights). The camera angle here makes it look like Demian is standing next to an open grave, but that isn't right, cause he is in no shape to make funeral arrangements. Demian is wailing to the fates, Por Que, Por Que, Por Que...Regina was the only good thing in his life, why oh why....Now Vengence is mine saith the Demian, three people will pay, Leo, Dolores and JC.

Dolores is in the Evil Castle with Tiberio, a feeling of gloom is about the house. Dolores thanks Tiberio for the hug received in an earlier emotional breakdown at the hospital and for calling her Mama. Tiberio says it was a weak moment and don't count on it happening again. Well two seconds later they are in each others arms and that tinglely cradle music is playing and both are crying and Tiberio is saying Mama Mama....even I feel sorry for the guy.

Now Dolores is alone in the living room, Demian comes in distraught. Dolores tries to comfort him, I think he is gonna grab her and kiss her, yeah I know pretty perverse, but nope once again like a snake he lashes out. Demian is screaming that Dolores went behind his back and she is responsible for Regina's death.

Demian is choking Dolores, when Tiberio rushes in and commands him to unhand his mother. Still feeling the super power of AngelDust, Demian backhands Tiberio to the floor. Now Dolores is on Demian, much shouting later Demian leaves. Poor Tiberio, he loves Demain, who wants nothing to do with Tiberio and called him a traitor. Tiberio is torn between his psychotic father and his mother he didn't meet until he was 46 and she was 40...It is a lot for any youngster to process.

On to the next day...It is funeral time, Leo sporting his Lady of Guadelupe jacket, Candle, Nick Nye, Dolores, Rog, Diana, Karen & Gabe...Demian is absent...The priest does the basic Ashes to Ashes thing, when we see Demian hiding out in the evergreens, he is watching and crying.

Diana is working at Otillas, when someone comes in. It is Rog, he asks her for her forgiveness for humiliating her in the past. He realizes the error of his ways, Diana jumps up out of her chair and moves away from him. He says he is happy and hopes she is too, he finishes with forgive me please and leaves. Diana bursts into tears and whispers Rog (only his whole name, but I can't spell it).

Paulina tries to talk to JC, but he will barely acknowledge her. She is sitting in the waiting room when Dolores comes in, Paulina asks Dolores to talk to JC.
Dolores goes in and tries to make JC feel better, but it has little effect....He just keeps hearing his father's accusations over and over and over again.

Gabe & MA are in the office, things are a bit strained between them...Gabe is still acting like the girl who got stood up for prom. Nic comes in, I think this is what happened, I think Regina was supposed to go somewhere and now MA will carry on in Regina's name. She tells Gabe she will take his love with her or something like that (I was getting bored by this time)...Gabe is all prissy prom girl, whatever.

Now the Grand Finale Scenes...Tiberio is running all over screaming Papa Papa, alas no one has seen nor heard from Demian...Tiberio looked like the dog that keeps getting beat, but always slinks back to his master, cause it is beyond him to try anything else...Poor Tiberio

Finally we see Demian, he is brushing aside the white flowers that cover Regina's grave, he lays a single red rose on the grave and lies down on top of the dirt...he swears never to leave her, they will be together alway..he fears she is cold....
Cynic that I am, I still felt really pretty bad for Demian, but I know he'll be back and punishing innocent people in no time.

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And Still the Villain Pursued Her…

We start our day’s adventures in TeleMiami with a replay of Gaviota/Fedora asking Granny Miguelina about the demise of los padres Soriano. Granny M doesn’t answer. She looks guilt-stricken. She’s probably wishing she were in the kitchen making another nourishing batch of caldo, or maybe a nice flan. Pobre de Granny.

Cut to Dr. Evil’s office, where Max and Ignacio replay their final scene from yesterday’s capítulo. I find myself wondering if the crimes being committed by Ignacio are as heinous as the one committed by his hairdresser.

Back to Casa Soriano. Granny M reluctantly says that the girls’ parents died in an accident. Gaviota wants to know what kind of accident. One that cost them their lives. (The scene with the garden-hose earned Granny a pass on this one.) She doesn’t want to go into details, she denies hiding anything, she just prefers not to remember. Before Gaviota can press any further, Diana enters. Gaviota tells Granny that they’ll continue their conversation later. Alone, Granny thought-bubbles: “Why did that woman ask me that? Could it be that she knows the mother of my girls is in prison? That’s what that man told me, the one who gave me Diana and Gaby.”

While Granny Miguelina ponders this mystery, we return to Ignacio’s office. Dr. Evil tells Our Hero that he was about to perform a major operation and that he’d scheduled a meeting with Diana at his apartment to discuss the case. Max furrows his brow. Something about this doesn’t sound like standard hospital procedure, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. Think, Max, think! Dr. Evil rehashes his cock-and-bull version of the crime. Now Max has more information to sort out. Damn. He can’t believe that Diana is capable of such a thing. According to Dr. Evil, “that kind of slut” is capable of anything, etc., etc., etc. It’s all too much for Max to process and he finally tells Ignacio to shut up. Dr. Evil comments that the subject of the little nurse is a touchy one. Max asks him to withdraw the charges against Diana. Doesn’t Max want her to be tried for attempted murder? Definitely not. Again Our Hero asks him to withdraw the charges.

Meanwhile there’s a visitor at Casa Silvia. It’s Elsa Lanchester – oh, wait, she’s dead. No, it’s the Mistress of the Occult Sciences, apparently on a lunch break from her fortune-telling job at the carnival. She’s wearing a glittery orange vinyl turban with a large, purple plastic jewel glued to the front. There is a star within a star painted on her forehead, possibly to de-emphasize the gold Halloween glitter she uses for eye-shadow. The long black fingernails dramatically accent the gold lamé gown. Her sparkly blue velveteen cloak is also lined with gold lamé. The tiered-ruffle pleather knitting-bag, however, is not the right accessory for this ensemble. I’ll bet Camila zeroed in on that, too, because her reaction was much like mine: “Are you sure this woman’s not a charlatan? She looks like a clown!” The bag really has to go. Anyway, the Occult One takes umbrage at this and solemnly intones the list of unfortunate ends that await non-believers, from being flattened by buses to eaten by piranhas. Our spunky soubrettes are impactadas.

We return to Max and Ignacio. Dr. Evil is surprised by Maximiliano’s request. Max doesn’t want to bury Diana. Dr. Evil says it’s what she deserves, he’s sorry, he can’t oblige, but she tried to kill him and jail is what she deserves. Fair enough, says Max, if that’s your final decision then I can’t convince you. Ignacio declares that he’s going to put Diana in jail for years. Max furrows his brow slightly, looks down his nose at Dr. Evil, and turns to leave. At the door there’s a final furrowed-brow look-down-the-nose. Close-up of Dr. Evil, baffled, wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean. I’m equally baffled.

Gaviota and Diana arrive at the hospital. There’s no need to guess which one, it’s the only hospital in all of TeleMiami. Diana’s nervous. She can’t be pregnant. (For someone who supposedly graduated nursing school in the 21st century, Diana has a quaintly Victorian concept of human reproduction.) Gaviota bolsters her spirits by saying that having an Irascible baby is the worst thing that could happen in her life. Enter Dr. Quintana, an old acquaintance of Diana’s. After a little chitchat, Our Heroine bashfully tells him why she’s there. He takes the news very professionally and tells her to go to the lab while he goes off to prepare. Enter Max, and what follows is a montage, underscored by increasingly ominous music. Midshot of Max, trying to look attractively impactado. Close-up of Diana, who exclaims, “Maximiliano!” Close-up of Max, still trying for attractively impactado. Close-up of Diana, trying to remember what the scene’s about. Close-up of Gaviota, who looks up and over at Max with cold, hostile, appraising eyes. Close-up of Max, who settles for an attractive but anticlimactic “Aw, hell” look.

At Sylvia’s place, Elsa the Mistress of the Occult Sciences is occupying the armchair as if it were a throne. She asks the girls what they want. Sylvia gaily starts rattling on about the two men she and Camila want at their feet, prostrate with love, very handsome men, the girls want them to be “spectacularly” in love, etc. It’s a very simple job for the Great Powerful Cosmic Star, Elsa replies, but the girls have to do one thing. Cue comic music. They have to steal a pair of underwear from each man. “A pair of underwear?” they scream in perfect unison. Drum roll and rim shot.

Back at the hospital everyone stands around very uncomfortably for a moment before Max walks past Diana without a glance or a word. Diana can’t believe it. “It was Maximiliano.” Gaviota must be used to having characters point out the obvious to her. “Yes, haughty and proud like his mother,” she answers. This makes no impression on Diana, who merely says, “He hates me. I saw the hate in his eyes.” (Which is more than I saw, querida, but if that’s your line, okay.) Gaviota ends the scene on a comforting, religious note. “God grant that you’re not pregnant by him. Let’s go.”

Where we go is back to Casa Silvia, where that ebullient, platinum-wigged minx is recapping the deal with La Maestra. She brings things to a screeching halt by referring Elsa’s art as “witchcraft.” Our M.O.S. takes offense and indignantly denies casting spells. She uses the forces of the universe to her benefit, she puts the stars to work for her, blah, blah, blah. Silvia does a good-natured grovel-and-fawn number. Elsa relents a bit. Call as soon as they have the underwear. They’ll see how she’ll put those men at their feet. Sylvia claps her hands and bounces with excitement until Elsa demands her $500.00 consultation fee. Camila is outraged. She bares her teeth, protesting vigorously, but the M.O.S. isn’t intimidated. (After all, she’s got the Great Powerful Cosmic Star in her corner. Just give her a pair of skivvies and a constellation or two and she can move mountains.) Sylvia intervenes. They don’t have that much cash. That’s okay, Elsa will take it out in trade. She takes the girls’ watches, commenting on their cheapness, then helps herself to an ugly blue bowl and a plain glass ashtray make up the difference. After a bit of mumbo-jumbo about sending out vibes with her “third eye” (aha! That’s what the star on her forehead is!), exit Elsa. Camila starts up again about the M.O.S. being a swindler but Silvia’s an optimist. The Irazabal boys will be crazy about them, etc.

Diana and Gaviota are waiting for the results of the test. Who should appear next but Ignacio Montiel, Dr. Evil himself, holding an envelope. He reminds Diana of their court date. Gaviota says she will prove Diana’s innocence. Ignacio asks who she is, then answers his own question: She is Diana’s guardian angel. Immune to his slimy charm, Gaviota corrects him. She’s the defense attorney. Dr. Evil pretends to be impressed. Diana starts to leave, but Ignacio stops her. He gestures with the envelope. He’d asked Dr. Quintana if he could deliver her test results. Diana’s pregnant, all right. Well. You could have knocked me over with a wrecking-ball, that’s how impactado I am. Diana flutters her eyelids as if she’s about to faint. Gaviota stares at Ignacio. Diana closes her eyes. Commercial.

We return from commercial to Casa Soriano, where Granny is at the sewing machine, remembering the bad old days. Granny used to be a bag lady, Miguelina la Méndiga, looking for shelter and a handout. It’s not clear where she is – a storeroom? Basement? Prop room? She’s wearing a dirty fisherman’s hat over a long, bedraggled, blonde wig. Streaks of dirt-colored makeup have been wiped on her face and her teeth have been partially blacked out. It’s a heart-rending sight. She begs for some leftovers or spare change from an unsavory naco seated at a table, eating rather messily and drinking Camacho out of a Styrofoam cup. He calls her by name and tells her he’s been waiting for her. Her eyes light up with hope. Does he have anything for her? Life in the streets gets harder every day, she lost her husband and home, hasn’t a friend in this country to extend a helping hand…This would be the perfect spot for a close-up with the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor, but Granny la Méndiga doesn’t get one. Pobre de Granny. Telling her it’s her lucky day, el naco reaches back into a portable plastic storage drawer and takes out a thick bundle of cash. He tosses it on the table. There’s twenty thousand dollars in that bundle. Granny thinks it’s a good joke. So does el naco. Hilarity ensues. El naco gets back to business. The money is hers, in exchange for a little favor.

We zoom back to the present for a close-up of Granny M. She looks off into the distance (or perhaps at the teleprompter) and says, “That night…that night changed my life.”

The past again. El naco is walking back into his lair carrying a baby and leading a toddler by the hand. If Miguelina takes the girls and disappears, the money’s hers. Granny M wants to know where the girls came from. No questions, warns el naco, but Miguelina insists. He tells her that the girls’ father is dead and their mother is in jail, “forever”. If anyone asks, she can pass them off as her grandchildren. Granny M repeats that she can’t take them without knowing where they came from.

Another close-up of present-day Miguelina. “My God, I accepted. I accepted.” I’m glad they wrote this bit in because now I can skip the following scene, which is a reenactment of this admission, followed by one last close-up of Granny M. She becomes very emotional as she tells us how she loved them as if they really were her granddaughters, raised them with love and respect, etc. As the tears flow, she drops her head over her folded hands and sobs.

We are now treated to a close-up of Octavia. Right at this very moment, she, too, is thinking about that night. We see Octavia in Destiny’s Basement, where so many fates have been sealed. El naco is reporting the success of his mission. I note that the plastic storage drawer on the little table behind him has been replaced by a plaster statue of Jesus, or maybe Lety Padilla’s San Judas. Either way, Octavia doesn’t notice. She’s more interested in finding out if this beggar Miguelina is going to keep her mouth shut. El naco is positive she will.

Camila and Silvia stroll into Casa Irascible. Silvia should have changed her clothes and wig. Agent Sidney Bristow would have. The girls are about to launch an undercover operation, for Pete’s sake. Anyway, Lala isn’t happy to see them. Max isn’t home, so the girls sit down to wait. Lala becomes apprehensive and explains that Faux Marfil has left orders that Camila not set foot in the house again. Camila springs up, baring her teeth. And who does Marfil think she is? Camila’s always been a friend of the family! Silvia runs interference by asking Lala for a soda. Lala agrees reluctantly, but wants them to please go afterwards, they could get her in trouble. Almost as soon as she’s out of the room, Silvia goes into action. The way she tiptoes up the stairs leaves no doubt that she passed “Slapstick Acting for the Silent Screen” with flying colors.

Larry’s room. Larry goes into the bathroom and Silvia sneaks in. She rifles his dresser, finds a pair of black bikini briefs and chortles: “It can’t be that something so small could fit him!” From the bathroom Larry asks if someone’s there. Instead of going out the door right behind her, Silvia runs to the bed and crawls underneath. This is pretty idiotic even for Comic Sex Kitten Silvia. Larry comes out, looks around, swears he heard someone. He then sits on the bed and wistfully sighs, “¡Pilar, Pilar!” as he puts on his watch. Pan down to Silvia between his feet. She thought-bubbles: “Ay, Dios, how do I get out of here without Papazote Larry seeing me?” Failing to come up with an answer, she blows kisses at Larry’s denim-clad calves.

Cut to Gaby, on the phone with Nancy. Gaby has found a job as a supermarket cashier. Nancy thinks that’s good, but isn’t she coming back to the mansion? Never again. But Gaby’s still married to joven Larry. She’s an Irazabal whether Doña Octavia likes it or not. Gaby’s not interested in being an Irazabal. It’s been over a month and Larry hasn’t come to see her once. Nancy fails to realize that she’s dealing with the gentle, helpless child-woman type that Dickens adored so much. She tells Little Doormat to forget Lunkhead, muscles, eyelashes, and all, and fall in love with someone else. No, Gaby will never love anyone else. Why did Larry use her like that? Why didn’t he pick someone from his own class? There’s some whimpering about Pilar mixed in with this, too, but Nancy is nothing if not practical. Divorce him, she says. Move on. No, Gaby won’t lift a finger. If Larry wants a divorce, he will have to file for it. Nancy is not impressed with Little Doormat’s decision. Gaby sobs.

Back at the hospital, Dr. Evil repeats that Diana’s pregnant. Gaviota snatches the envelope out of his hand, tears it open, reads the test results, and is impactada. Diana is embarazada all right. “¡No puede ser!” she moans. (Oh, Diana! How utterly you have lost yourself!) Ignacio asks who the father is. Gaviota goes into fiera mode, telling him it’s none of his business, he’s done more than enough harm to Diana already. She wants him to remember her face, because she’s going to prove Diana’s innocence in court. What a despicable guy he is. They’ll see who’s lying and who’s telling the truth, and who will have the last word. Ignacio goes into fiera mode himself, warning her to keep her voice down or he’ll have them thrown out. Gaviota tells him they’re leaving and off they go. Dr. Evil and the nurse at the desk shake their heads and throw up their hands. Dr. Evil tells us that he’s willing to bet the baby is Max’s.

Gaviota and Diana make it all the way around the corner. Diana is bummed. She’s carrying Max’s child when he despises her most. Gaviota advises her not to give up hope, to confront things with serenity. After she’s been proved innocent at trial, Max will have to beg forgiveness on his knees for having doubted her. But he’s married, blah, blah, blah. Gaviota uses some Tough Love on her. Diana will gain nothing by complaining. She could have avoided it. She could have used protection. Now they have to face the facts. As the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor slides down Our Heroine’s cheek, Gaviota lectures on about how she’ll make a fine single parent. Diana asks that she say nothing about it to anyone. Gaviota agrees but warns her that a pregnancy can’t be kept secret for long.

We come back from commercial to Ignacio’s office. Andrés is in there now. With all this plotting and scheming and harassing, when does Dr. Evil find the time to see patients? Anyway, he tells his faithful henchman that Diana has a bun in the oven, and that Max was probably the one in the kitchen. Andrés is impactado.

Cut to Paco’s bar. Caramelo and Paco enter with shopping bags. Florencio asks if they bought out the whole mall. Caramelo runs through her list of purchases, leading the adorable old barman to ask if she and Panchalón are setting up house. Not really, they plan to live with Lala at first. Then they’ll get a place of their own. There’s some back and forth about the (un)likelihood of Pancholón buying Caramelo a house. Paco says he just wants her to be happy. She asks him not to speak ill of Pancholón. She knows that he’s really good. Caramelo is clearly a practitioner of the Better Living through Denial philosophy.

Paco retreats to his office. He tells the ceiling that he hopes Caramelo will be happy. If Pancholón deceives his little girl, makes her suffer, Paco is capable of…he drives a fist into his palm, then goes to pour himself a drink. If he couldn’t be happy, maybe his daughter can. He then takes a framed picture out of his desk drawer and starts talking to it. “Alicia, where can you be? Why did you disappear so suddenly from my life? There were people born into this world to be unhappy. Why do those I love never return that love? All Gaviota cares about is revenge, etc.” He tells Alicia he will always think of her. (Has anyone actually seen this picture? Are we going to find out that Bruna is really Alicia?)

Max has returned to his office. He’s still confused. He needs to forget Diana. He needs to hate her. She deserves his hatred, his contempt.

We next see Octavia. For some reason her sequin-trimmed white halter top and trouser ensemble calls to mind the old Charlie perfume commercials. She struts up to the reception desk, hands the receptionist some folders, and tells her to file them. She’s about to go when Ignacio steps off the elevator. She slinks over, says she wasn’t expecting him, invites him to her office. Once in her office, she asks if his call has anything to do with Doña Santa. No, it’s about that nurse. Octavia’s not interested in hearing about that “poca cosa”. What Dr. Evil has to say isn’t poca cosa, however. After a fair amount of preamble about getting to the point, they finally get to the point. Octavia is not impactada by the news of Diana’s pregnancy. There are some women who’ll warm the sheets of the first guy who crosses their path, she says. Then it hits her. (Evidently all the Irascibles are slow on the uptake. It’s just a question of degree.) Could Max be the father? Now she is impactada.

Back in Larry’s room. Larry is sprawled out on the bed, practicing his Cowpoke of the Month pose, talking to the absent Pilar. Silvia is still under the bed, thought-bubbling replies. We’ve heard it all before. Silvia then makes his underwear do a sprightly little jig as she mentally rehashes her plans for them.

Downstairs, Lala is begging Camila to leave. Too late. Enter Faux Marfil. She demands to know what Camila’s doing in her house. Camila replies that it’s not just her house. Other people live there, old friends of hers. Incensed, Faux Marfil brings the phrase “madder than a wet hen” vividly to life. Eyes blinking, bobbing her head with angry little jerks, she rants at Camila in a shrill cackle. Camila throws down the gauntlet: Faux Marfil hasn’t beaten her, it’s not over yet, etc., etc. Faux Marfil then goes after Lala for letting Camila in. Camila tells Faux Marfil not to take out her rage on Lala. She throws gas on the fire by adding that she’ll come over any time she likes. Faux Marfil says if Camila keeps after Max, she’ll claw out her eyes. Fine. Camila’s going. But not because she’s afraid. No, because Faux Marfil has become a bore. (I agree. The entertainment value of the chicken imitation was short-lived.) And what’s more, Faux Marfil has very little glamour. (Oh, I don’t know about that, the Dominatrix Barbie outfit from Monday’s capítulo had a certain je ne sais quoi.) Camila states that she’ll be the only woman in Max’s life. She leaves. Faux Marfil threatens to fire Lala if she lets Camila in the house again.

Back to Octavia’s office. She and Dr. Evil are still jawing on about the pregnancy and unscrupulous women who try to trap a man with a child. Octavia knows what she’s talking about; after all, she advised Faux Marfil to do exactly that. Ignacio once again brags how he will bury Diana at trial. “Yes, bury her! May she rot behind bars!” spits Octavia. Dr. Evil then says Diana found herself a lawyer who looks like a fiera, he can’t remember the name, she was at the hospital. Octavia thanks him for the information. With a courtly “Always at your service,” he bows, kisses her hand, and leaves. She picks up the phone before the door even closes behind him.

Faux Marfil is pouring herself a substantial glass of whiskey when the phone rings. Can’t an Evil Sex Kitten get her drink on without all these interruptions? Honestly. She puts down the hefty tumbler of Scotch and answers the phone. It’s Octavia, with a down’n’dirty version of the news for her. Faux Marfil is muy impactada.

Gaviota and Diana return to Casa Soriano. They have the “keep this pregnancy a secret” conversation again. Diana reflects on the heavy price she is paying for a few hours of what she imagined was love. I wait for her to put on her cloak and go out! out into the storm! but I forget myself. The weather is fine and Alejandra Lazcano is no Lillian Gish. Instead Gaviota gives her a few facts of life about unwed mothers. She promises that they’ll get through it together. Diana thanks her and vows that Max may hate her but she’ll keep him from hating their child. He’ll never know it’s his. Yeah, right.

After commercial, Max is telling Emilio how he just can’t get Diana out of his head. If Emilio were more like Omar Carvajal, he would take this as his cue to break the tension with a spiffy rendition of “I’ve Got You under My Skin.” Alas, he’s of those serious muchachos. Instead we get a few random bars of the theme song while Max tries to come up with a meaningful expression.

Cut to Faux Marfil, giving Bruna the scoop. Our virile villainess is literally bouncing with impatience. She’s tired of every conversation being about Diana, Diana, Diana. She’s probably tired of listening to Faux Marfil as well. Although I’ve never actually heard a Chihuahua on crack, I’m sure it would sound like Faux Marfil right now. They just can’t get rid of that nurse, yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap. Bruna asks if they’re sure it’s Max’s baby. Octavia and Faux Marfil think it is. Bruna says that’s going to ruin their plans. If Max finds out…Faux Marfil arrogantly snaps that Max doesn’t have to find out and he isn’t going to.

At Casa Soriano Little Doormat irons a shirt and makes small talk. Diana is huddled on her bed in a fetal position. While I mull over this weighty bit of symbolism, Gaby puts down the iron, approaches the bed, takes a seat, asks what’s wrong. She’s so quiet. Is she worried about Max? Diana sits up. She needs to tell Gaby something muy grave. But she has to keep it a secret. Granny M can’t find out. (At this point I suspect that Diana has gone from Victorian to delusional.) After rousing her sister’s worst fears, she drops the P-Bomb. Little Doormat is impactadísima, complete with “¡No puede ser!” After they hug, she asks Diana if she’s going to have the baby. Of course she’s going to have it. Only Bad Sex Kittens get abortions. Gaby turns starry-eyed at the idea of having Larry’s baby. It would make her so happy. Diana feels compelled to spell out the difference between her real pregnancy and Gaby’s fantasy pregnancy. Again she says she doesn’t want Max to know. She’s also very afraid that Dr. Evil will tell Sra. Marfil her secret. Diana doesn’t want to go through the shame of Marfil finding out. Gaby stares at Diana while Diana stares at the teleprompter.

Roll credits.

Labels: acorralada

All ye who have watched the "GRAN FINALE" or read about it somewhere or watched it on youtube:


I mean it. There are many here who want to continue speculating INNOCENTLY. Do not spoil their fun.

Thank you for understanding. High-tale it over to telenovela-world if you want to discuss the ending.

THANKS!

Labels: announcements, fea

After Emiliooo says he has unfinished business with Don Loco, Orlando insists that he himself will take care of it and he leaves. Angel says he doesn’t want a doctor and wants to be alone. They have a “forget about Flor” “no YOU forget about her” argument and Emiliooo leaves. He goes to his room and sits down on the bed to have a good think, when Thelma storms in, looking mighty fine for a pregnant woman, and demands that Coral get the boot. Emiliooo says he told her he won’t change his ways, he is getting a party together. She starts to whine and he says he prefers when she is yelling. She calls him cruel and he says oh yeah, like what you did to me wasn’t cruel? She rants on for a while about what an ass he is and other men would be happy to be having a son. He says he isn’t happy that his kid is with HER. He tells her to leave him alone so he can brood. He turns around and strikes a dramatic pose leaning on the dresser.

Orlando finds Don Loco and says he heard that DL has Flor locked up. Don Loco says he heard wrong, she isn’t here. He questions Orlando’s interest in her. Orlando says he’s very interested in her, Don Loco says he should forget about her or he’ll be having some problems. Don Loco rushes out, leaving Orlando to think. Something about Orlando reminds me of those characters from 80s sitcoms – the teenage boy’s best friend. Doesn’t’ he look like he’d come over to the Seaver’s house? Or Ricky Schroeder invited him over to the mansion to have a danceoff with that kid who later played Carlton?

Elias is in his construction trailer and there is a knock, he says come in. It’s Alina. They cry and hug.

Sergio enters Luba’s cave, she is sitting in a chair toking on a doobie. I’m convinced that’s what she smokes. He wants to know where Flor is. Luba says he should say good evening first, and furthermore, she isn’t here. He says not to try to hide her and starts looking around. She says “Hey this is my house!” Now he wants to know where Gaspar is. He is sure they escaped together. She says what are you talking about anyway, you know Don Loco has her locked up. Sergio says she escaped. Luba is surprised at this. She asks where? Sergio says he’s going to find out, then he leaves. Luba tries to send good vibes to Flor through the air.

Elias tells Alina that he knows what Don Loco did to her. They sit down to talk.

And Edelmira’s club some guy named Jeramias is really worked up over the girls. He pulls out a wad of cash and wants Edelmira to hook him up with one of the girls. She says it will be difficult but she’ll do it. I smell Coral being involved in this. Just then, we see Coral’s butt walk by. I think it’s her butt, we don’t see her face. Jeramias walks away and Granillo sashays up to the table. He discusses with Edelmira how Coral won’t easily go with Jeramias, not even for a lot of money.

Mariana is on her fancy date with Doctor Love. He asks her to call him Ricardo, he likes the way she says it. He says he’s in love with her. He knows she has something with a guy that disappeared years ago, but time passes quickly and she needs to move on.

Of course now here is Jose, locked up in his shack. He tells Arcadio how much he misses his family and he has been waiting for years for the moment to get out. Arcadio finally says he will help him escape.

Santos and Rosita enter his construction shack. She doesn’t seem to like it much so he asks what the problem is. She says it’s fine, she is just worried about Flor. Santos says he would like to try and help Flor but he has to think about Rosita and his mother, Don Loco could come down on them hard if he did anything. Rosita says she understands. Santos says he hopes Don Loco gets the punishment he deserves. They then declare their love for each other and start laying down on the bed to get busy. What? Does Flor’s story make them horny, or what?

Elias stands up and paces around to rant about what a coward Don Loco is. He says he’ll confront him but Flor says no, he’s sick. He wants to turn him in but again Flor says no, he has them all in his pocket. Elias wants desperately to do something but he can’t leave the construction. She says she asked God to let Don Loco understand that he did something very cruel.

Max thinks Emiliooo is being too hard on Thelma, Emilioooo says no way, she deserves it after what she did, you don’t even know how she is, Max. You don’t even know. Max asks Emiliooo if he really hates her that much, Emiliooo says yes. Not just for what she did to him, but also for what she did to Flor.

Thelma is complaining to Singing Aunt about Emiliooo and his party. SA says to just go with the flow but Thelma says no way. She goes on for a bit, the details aren’t important. Emiliooo will be sorry, I hate Gaspar, etc. “Emiliooo doesn’t know what I’m capable of.” Singing Aunt just shakes her head.

Elias walks Alina back to the edge of the forest. He wants her to stay with him but she says Don Loco can’t know that he is helping her. She’ll come see him again.

Luba yells at the virgin then feels bad and asks again nicely, where is Flor? On cue, Flor enters. Luba asks here where she was, Flor just looks at her funny and doesn’t answer. Maybe she is showing some sense and not telling everyone everything. Though I’m sure after the commercial she’ll prove me wrong and tell Luba everything.

Rosita tells Santos “we shouldn’t be doing this.” Isn’t it a little late for that? They are laying in bed in the afterglow. Way to bring the room down Rosita, right after sex talk about how you shouldn’t be doing it. Can’t you just enjoy the feeling for a minute and then feel guilty? Santos puts up with it well, they talk about how they will be married and Santons wants her with him always.

Flor is packing a bag, I gather from the conversation she is going to stay with Rosita. She doesn’t want to stay here or Don Loco will find her again. I don’t know how much she told Luba, but we haven’t even had a commercial and she already knows what’s going on. She tells Donkey to stay here and she’ll be back later. As she goes to the door, Don Loco walks in and blocks the door. “You think you can escape me, do you?” He grabs her arm to move her and hurts her, he tells her to shut up. Then he turns and threatens Luba, who says she will do whatever he says. He gets a little rough with her and Flor/Alina tells him to let up, he tells her again to shut up. Flor says Luba didn’t do anything, she (Alina) snuck out of the house herself. Luba tries to trick Don Loco by telling him to put Alina in with Soledad (I think) but he doesn’t go for it. He says Alina’s punishment isn’t over yet. He threatens Luba again, I think saying that if Flor gets away again he’ll do something to Luba and Gaspar.

Orlando returns to Emiliooo’s room and tells him that Don Loco does not have Flor locked up. It’s true that he didn’t, but at that time Don Loco THOUGHT he had her locked up and said no, so he was lying anyway. Orlando, however, believed him. Emiliooo is smarter and asks, “How do you know he wasn’t lying?” Orlando says he is sure. Um, is that an answer to ‘how’? I don’t think so. What are you, Orlando, the human lie detector? You didn’t even hold his wrists like DeNiro in ‘Meet The Parents.’ Emiliooo says he has to talk about something serious with his brother and leaves. Orlando gives a smug chuckle and says yes, go keep your brother away from Flor, then nobody will get near her but me.

Flor apologizes for getting Luba in trouble by escaping, she says she won’t cause any more trouble. Luba says she earned all that yelling, she is more worried about other things. Like, where is Gaspar? Flor says go find him! Luba says she has something for her, it’s her heart necklace. Flor is happy to have it back Luba says she can’t go to Sierra Escondida to look for Gaspar and Flor wants to know why she can’t leave the cave. Luba won’t tell her, she just hopes Gaspar won’t do anything stupid.

One of Thelma’s guards is trying to convince the other one to go to Edelmira’s club. The second one has more sense and says they should stay there. We see Gaspar hiding behind a tree, he throws a rock. The guards hear the noise and go investigate. He threw the rock the other way, so when they go to see what it was, he has a clear path in. For being ‘not smart’, this was a pretty smart trick.

Angel says he is going to look for Flor in the cave tomorrow, Emiliooo says no, Angel says whatever, you don’t give me orders. Emliooo then tries to tell him he isn’t well enough to go. Angel says “Do you like your life with Thelma? Leave me alone and let me live my life.” I think the comment about Thelma was just a low blow, but he’s right. Look at you Mr. big shot, married to that horrible woman, and I should listen to you?

Luba has a flashback. A lady is dying and one lady is talking to her. Nobody said any names, so I don’t know which one is supposed to be Luba. I’m going to ask for anyone who understood this to comment please and clear it up. The dying lady says to tell ‘the Patron’ (Alvaro, or is this too long ago?) that she died feeling sorry. She asks the other lady to promise that when she dies, she takes some coffer and give it to Alvaro. The dying lady is pregnant, the other lady tells her that ‘the Patron’ wants the baby to live. So I’m not sure if Alvaro is the Patron they are talking about, or Alvaro is the baby? Is Luba Don Loco’s mother? Or was Luba there with Don Loco’s mother? Please someone help me with this one. Back in the present, Luba is holding the same coffer, then she puts it away and goes to beg the virgin to let her sleep, crying like her name was Miranda and her contract demanded it.

Mariana returns home, Malena grabs her and throws her down on the couch and demands details. Mariana at first doesn’t want to tell, but Malena whines and Mariana caves in. She talks about how wonderful he is, he told her he loved her, etc etc. Malena says please stay with him or we’ll lose him. Mariana says “we?” Malena tries to cover with “no uh YOU.”

Since we saw Mariana, it is time for Jose. We see Arcadio shoot a shotgun or rifle at a wooden shack, the shack goes up like it was made entirely of gasoline. The fire is huge and hot immediately. He must have really found something good to load that building up with. All the people in the camp start running around, somebody throws a bucket of water at the building. Yeah, that will help douse the towering inferno. Jose is ready to break free but wants Arcadio to go with him. Arcadio says he doesn’t have anyone but Jose does, so just Jose needs to go and go NOW. Jose gives him a manly hug and runs off.

Thelma is sleeping in her dark room. The door opens and we see some Lil’ Abner shoes and overalls come in the door, Gaspar has made it this far. He goes to the bed and brushes Thelma’s hair back from her face. She wakes up and starts yelling. Gaspar puts his mouth over her hand to quiet her but it doesn’t really work, she is making lots of noise. We don’t get to see his face or anything, perhaps this is someone posing as Gaspar?

Someone knocks on Coral’s door. It’s Emiliooo with a bottle of tequila and a couple glasses. Coral is happy to see him like a high school girl going on a date. They toast, salud.

Well it is Gaspar for real, he starts talking. He tells Thelma that he knows she is the munequita, he wants to tell her something and then he’ll leave. She nods ok. As soon as he lets her go, she starts screaming and going nuts, yelling for help. Max and Singing Aunt come in, followed by the guards that Gaspar fooled. Hmmm Max and SA are both wearing their robes, they have messed up hair, they arrived together – do you see where I’m going with this? I think you do. Thelma wants Gaspar killed, Max says no, no, but he will learn his lesson. After Max leaves, Thelma vows to kill Gaspar.

Alina sits in the cave and cries about Emilioooo. “Where are you, the good Emiliooo I knew before?” Boo hoo hoo. Listen Alina – he didn’t exist. You looked hot and he wanted a piece of that so he charmed you. The end.

Coral tells Emiliooo that Jeramias cried when she wouldn’t go with him. Ha ha ha ha ha. Emiliooo sweet talks her a bit. She lays him down on his stomach to give him a massage. Before long they are making out. Emiliooo stops her, he sees Flor there instead of Coral. Oh, so now it’s ok, as long as he is thinking of her?

We get a great in/out of commercial. On the way into the commercial, Emilioooo and Alina are making out, but the good part is Alina wearing a very tight, short, cleavage-showing shirt. At the end of the commercial, we get to see the woman (I can’t remember her name! Tomasina?) holding the giant machete and getting doused. A++ for this commercial break.

Emiliooo is still making out with Flor in his mind. Coral asks him why he’s looking at her funny. He gets up to leave and says he’s confused. She says no, she has been waiting for this for a long time. He says he cares about her. She said, I think, basically that she’ll do him and not expect anything relationship wise from him. He kisses her on the forehead and leaves. She cries that she has lost him forever.

Don Loco goes to Edelmira’s club, a woman asks to sit with him for a drink, he accepts and has her sit down. Granillo comes by and asks what he wants, he says a bottle of tequila. Granillo gives him the one he has on his tray, it was for another table but, well, he is the patron! Don Loco asks him why he is always so nervous. This made me laugh out loud. Unfortunately Granillo runs off before answering. Edelmira comes to the table and tells the girl that she is being punished and she has to leave that table. The girl whines but Edelmira says she will take care of Don Alvaro herself. Don Loco actually smiles when he asks Edelmira to sit down, this may be the first time he has done that in the whole show. Don Loco asks her how she keeps her women under control and Edelmira says something about their faces while brandishing her claw-like fingernails. Don Loco says he has some work for her, they drink to that. Edelmira says “look, this girl is new.” She brings over some young honey to take care of Don Loco. She sits down on his lap and he starts kissing her. Suddenly he sees Soledad’s face and says “No, it can’t be you! Get out of here!” and throws the girl to the floor. She is, obviously, upset. He says “no uh nothing just get out of here.” He decides that the best thing to do now is to keep drinking. He’s off his rocker.

A guy named Castulo is talking to Max, asking what to do with Gaspar. Max says he doesn’t have anything against that poor guy, he doesn’t know. Castulo says maybe he should ask Thelma, Max agrees quickly. Go ask her and leave me out of it.

Rosita is worried about Flor, they are in the cave. They talk and cry. Flor tells her that her godfather is working on the new highway.

The engineers are all together and one proposes a toast to Emilioooo for fighting his way back to health. Come to think of it, he healed awfully quickly. He was on the verge of death and shot, then after a while he woke up, then he was all good again. That’s some good healing.

We actually see Jose without the Mariana lead-in, very confusing. I wasn’t ready for it. He is running through the jungle. He says he will finally be together with his love, Mariana. Until a gun is pointed at his head and someone says “that will never happen if you make even one move.” Uh oh.

Luba is walking outside. She finds Gaspar hiding under some vegetation. She wants to know what’s going on. He admits to going to Thelma’s room and tells her what happened. She is very upset, naturally. She says to leave Thelma along, but he begs her to help him. She says that he has to listen to her, then, and stay in the cave. She gives him a hug and says “if you weren’t my son….” Amen to that sister. Something must be done about the fire in this guy’s pants. He is a time bomb.

Mrs. Elias (I am getting bad with names) spends some time with Soledad. Soledad thinks that she doesn’t love Don Loco any more, not after all he has done. Elias comes in and greets his wife first, then gives a warm greeting to Soledad. Of course, his wife immediately gets a worried look. Yes, I’m sure their secret plan all along was to be apart for 25 years and then get back together, they have been lying all this time. Get a grip woman.

Castulo is telling Thelma that he doesn’t like jewelry, she is trying to bribe him to kill Gaspar, surely. She says then what does he want to do it? He says he has never been with a fine woman like her. She does look fine, wearing another outfit that a pregnant woman would never wear, all tight and revealing. She tells him to forget it. He says he likes the idea to be with a married woman even better. She threatens to tell her husband, he says go ahead, I’ll tell him you want Gaspar killed. She leaves. Castulo tells the mirror that she’ll be back, she desperately wants to kill that guy, so she’ll come back.

Flor is sorting herbs when Angel comes into the cave. Luba doesn’t want to leave them alone, but she goes to the other room. She says that him visiting her will surely bother Don Loco. Angel coughs. Then Angel says someone has to help her and he wants to be the one. Flor says thanks, but she’s fine here. Angel says “Flor, you know that I…” and she cuts him off with “yes I know you are a GOOD FRIEND, please, don’t look for me any more.” I think this was some way of telling him to drop it already. Angel says fine. He says he’ll always be there if she needs anything and leaves. She tells the air that she didn’t want to hurt him, but it’s better this way.

Singing aunt is breaking the eardrums of the engineers and some women. I don’t think they are dates, I think they are ‘dates.’ They all mock cheer for her. Granillo is in attendance, how nice. Singing Aunt asks Orlando, where is Emilioooo?

Flor is outside and sees someone coming, it is Emilioooo! She is impactada. She tries to run off, but he confronts her about lying to him about them being married. He forces a kiss on her, she doesn’t really return it, he’s just stronger than her.

Elias and Mrs. Elias talk to Soledad. Elias wants to talk more, Mrs. Elias wants to take Soledad back to her room. Blanca, that’s her name. Blanca wins, as wives do, and they get up to take her back. Just then Don Loco arrives and wants to know what is going on! Uh oh Elias, you stepped in it now.

Monday, it appears that Thelma decided that Castulo’s price was acceptable. Big shock.

Labels: duelo

Because it's Oscars weekend, and everybody's talking about who's wearing what, I'm adding my own fashion commentary to this recap. I'll warn you, though, that it's not a topic I get excited about like those Hollywood people.

Fern and Omar

Fern (okay outfit, not as good as yesterday's), Omar (okay outfit), Aldo (okay outfit), Guillermo (henceforth Gil 'cuz I'm lazy; nice outfit), and some other people (assorted outfits) are having their meeting about gastronomical tourism. Fern keeps interrupting to blather at length about nothing. It is as if he's trying to control the meeting, except he's not providing any direction. Gil then cuts him off politely so that Aldo can long-windedly share his own esoteric thoughts on the Flavor of Life.

To stave off boredom, Omar flirts with the redhead next to him. "I'm talking, Omar" Aldo scolds him and says more about "Sabor de Vida." Fern starts mocking "sabor de vida, flavor of life."

This is giving me flashbacks to kindergarten, which is strange because I didn't go to kindergarten.

Gil pointedly ignores Fern and mentions that there's also the "Flavor of Life" book, the movie, the sitcom, the Broadway show, plus the toothpaste, Underoos, breakfast cereal, coffee mug, etc. (Okay, he only mentions the book, but you know it's just a matter of time before there's a Franklin Mint commemorative chess set too.) Fern then makes fun of the book about quesadillas, sopes, garnachas, and panichos.

Aldo good-naturedly says he's glad they're having fun with the food names, but we can see his jovial facade beginning to crack. He talks about the book, Fern continues to mock, and finally Aldo rolls his eyes and complains.

Hoping to break this strange tension that he doesn't understand, Gil changes the subject to something less volatile: Aldo's brilliant friend Lety Padilla, who gave their project a new dimension. Fern recovers from his shock and he and Aldo argue about Lety. Fern says he's here as Lety's representative, so Aldo shouldn't be talking about her. Aldo says Fern wasn't there when Aldo and Lety came up with these ideas. Omar clumsily tries to smooth things over, but only succeeds in annoying the redhead. Aldo says there's going to be a big expo... and then he leans across the table to tell Fern that was Lety's idea, too.

Fern tries to wrap up the meeting by telling the restaurant people that Omar will negotiate with each of them. Gil reminds Fern that the amount has already been decided. Fern says Aldo already told him about that. "A little bird told me," he says snidely.

After the meeting, Omar and Fern go outside to talk. Omar criticizes Fern's behavior, trying to ruin the meeting with juvenile antics. Back in the meeting room, Aldo complains to Gil about Fern's behavior as well. :-) Gil says all he cares about is that the project goes well. Gil wants to meet with Lety to talk things over.

Outside, Fern says he wants to get Aldo to pull out of the project. They'll do it all themselves. All the info they need is in Aldo's book. Omar is aghast at this dumb idea.

Lety and the cuartel

Lety (conservatively cut skirted suit in a shade of coral that was popular around 1990) asks the cuartel (all wearing nicer things than usual, IMO) where they heard all this stuff they've been gossiping about. They claim they got it from someone in Editing, but Lety doesn't believe them. Finally she gives up and tells them to forget about it and go back to work. "But you're not the friends I used to have," she says, disappointed. She gives them a sad lecture and concludes, "do me a favor - don't blab about this, because you don't know what you're talking about." She leaves the stunned cuartel in the boardroom and closes the door behind her.

The ladies confer, ashamed of themselves and more confused than ever. They yell for Lety, who has simply been standing on the other side of the door. She rejoins them, glad they've decided to trust her. They send Sara to reluctantly fetch the evidence and they explain that they found it among Omar's things that they were told to move. "You read The Letter?" Lety asks, stunned. She dismisses it as Omar's bad joke, but asks where they got the idea that the wedding was cancelled because of her. Lola explains that they had noticed a lot of strange things, and The Letter and the balance sheet helped them put it all together.

Lety is upset to realize that they saw the balance sheet too. Lola observes that Conceptos owed US$45 million to Filmo-Imagen - Lety's old boyfriend's company - and asks if there's a connection between that, and Lety being president of Conceptos now. They also want to know if Lety was cheating on Tomas with Fern. Lety denies this.

Irma is shocked and scandalized by this entire conversation and wants it to end. :-) Sara asks about the red bag. Lety confirms that it's the bag mentioned in The Letter. Martha remembers how, shortly after the Red Bag Caper, Lety cried and cried and cried. "They used you," Lola guesses.

Lety finally agrees to tell them everything, but tells them they have to keep it to themselves. She says that on the day of the Big Meeting, she decided that she couldn't lie to the Mendi-roels any more. She showed them the real balance sheet, but she didn't intend to reveal the romance to anyone. That was Marcia's doing.

Irma remembers Marcia demanding to see the contents of Lety's trash bags. Lety confirms that the bag was full of the gifts and cards from Fernando, as well as The Letter. Martha mentions that Fern had the bag yesterday. Lety says yes, but he went and threw it in the trash.

The cuartel is very relieved to know the whole story. That seems to be the end of it, until Irma protests, "but you knew Don Fernando was engaged!" PM says he was practically a married man. They ask Lety if she thinks he loved her. She thinks not, but says she's pretty sure he didn't love Marcia either. The cuartel blows off some steam complaining about what a dirtbag Fernando is.

Saimon dances in with a BIG basket of flowers. (Over at the restaurant association, Aldo takes a call from someone confirming that the flowers have been delivered. He remembers his conversation with Carolina about not overwhelming Lety with gifts, but he wants to make up for losing the pearl... not that Lety ever knew about that pearl in the first place...) They all want to know who it's from, but they can't find a card. Saimon doesn't know who sent it either. He says he has a test at his computer class that night and dances out.

PM wonders if the flowers are from Fern. Lety tells them all it's time to go back to work, and asks them not to repeat a word of what she said. The cuartel leaves the boardroom and immediately heads towards the restroom. Observing from a discreet distance, Lety tells nosy Alicia: "The bathroom. I knew it!" They have already started gossiping again when Lety bursts in and cries, "I caught you!"

They seem to pretty much ignore her and continue clucking about everything. She begs them to please forget about it and stop talking about it - at least within Conceptos.

Juana says she's still worried about Tomas. Does he know about the stuff with Fernando? Lety reveals that Tomas was never her boyfriend. They are impactadas. She says they all knew she was in love with someone, and she didn't want them to think it was Fernando, so she told them it was Tomas.

Juana reminds them of when she told Lety's fortune with seashells (this was before I started watching) that she was going to meet a man and both their lives would change. Lety says sure, her life has changed 180 degrees, but his is still the same. Sara points out that Fern's life has changed too - he lost the presidency. Lety says he'll get it back, marry Marcia, and then it'll all keep going. (I'm thinking the prediction could just as easily have referred to Aldo!)

She asks them again to keep her secret, and if they must talk about it, please do it away from here. She urges them to get back to work, but Juana has one last question: is she still in love with Fern? Lety asks YET AGAIN to drop the subject. PM is curious about how Lety recovered from all of this after the Big Meeting. Martha asks where she went, who she met, etc. Lety promises to tell them eventually, but not now, must work. They want to do another seashell reading - maybe on their lunch hour. Lety says no, she's still afraid, but she did meet a psychic, and she shows them the blue medallion he gave her. She says he told her "many interesting things." (True, but I'm not sure if he ever told her anything useful.)

Strange interlude

Walking through the park in a disco leisure suit that actually looks pretty good on him, Psychic Guy tells the camera, "I sense that I'm going to run into Leticia."

Lobby loiterers

While the cuartel is meeting with Lety, Alicia (all red satin, and tighter than ever) sits at PM's desk. The phone rings and she answers "Yeah? Nope, haven't seen her, call back later" and hangs up. She answers more politely next time, but again tells the person to call back later.

Sara passes through and they trade token insults; for the sake of variety, Alicia calls Sara both a giraffe and a deformed ostrich.

For some reason, she thinks the next call is from Aldo and answers, "Aldo, mi amor!" But it's Tomas (Inspector Gadget costume), who is excited to be addressed thusly. "Oh, what do you want?" Tomas tries to lure her into his office with the promise of "something very interesting," but Alicia doesn't take the bait.

Tomas asks himself how he can get Alicia to check out the new Tomas. He wants to do it in private. He hides the many photos of Alicia, muttering to himself, "look out, Aldo!"

In the lobby, Alicia tries (in her own incompetent way) to console Luigi (weird black getup festooned with leftover Christmas tree garland) about his problems with Ruli. Tomas spies while Alicia tells Luigi, who is powdering his face, that he'll be an old maid while she'll have been married twice. (Over my dead body, Tomas thinks to himself.) She encourages Luigi to cry, while Tomas plans his grand entrance.

Later, Marcia (MUCH better outfit today) teases Alicia about arriving early to work. Is it a miracle? Alicia says no, it's a heroic deed, being with all the people of her own class. Amused, Marcia asks if she's referring to people from school. Alicia says no, she means workers, salesmen, etc. that ride the bus. She whines about the usual - getting up early and not having breakfast. She fell asleep on the bus and if some idiot hadn't nudged her awake, she would have missed her stop. And then maybe she would have woken up in Veracruz or Oaxaca or who knows where. She can't take it any more.

Marcia urges Alicia to take it up with Lety, and tell her she got there early. Alicia said Lety already knows, she's already seen her today - while she was showing off her new car to the cuartel.

Marcia is intrigued to hear about this new car, but asks where the cuartel is. Alicia tells them they're in their meeting room - the bathroom. Just like always. Marcia is disgusted.

Meanwhile, in the mens' restroom, Saimon (okay suit) finds Tomas putting drops in his eyes. Saimon asks if he can help, but Tomas hurriedly excuses himself and stumbles around the bathroom, unable to find his way out. Saimon tells him not to cry. Tomas denies crying and says he has something in his eye. Saimon doesn't believe him, and asks if he's having trouble with his girlfriend Lety. He tries to get Tomas to cry on his shoulder. Tomas finally makes it to the door, and Saimon mutters about cheating girlfriends who make men cry.

Tomas passes Alicia's desk again. Alicia is cooing at her "engagement photo" again, and Marcia says she wants to check in with Ricky Armstrong (hey, maybe he'd like to date Marcia? why not?), but Alicia wants to talk about last night. So does Marcia - because Alicia called her at midnight, and then she couldn't sleep because Fern went out "for a walk" and didn't come back. Alicia says she doesn't want to hear Marcia's sob stories - she's not in the mood because she's feeling very content. Marcia mockingly says oh, right - you're getting married to Aldo. Alicia is annoyed that Marcia doesn't believe her. Marcia says fine, go ahead and tell me, what did he say to you?

Alicia: He told me that the present was very important, because we were together, and later he told me that we are soulmates and we will be together forever, into infinity, for eternity.

Marcia: And how was the marriage proposal?

A: Aldo is very lofty, very gifted - he doesn't say things directly like you or I; no, he's like, like, like a poet. He says what he wants, but with pretty words - and very complicated, I confess.

M: Could it be that you misunderstood him?

A: What? How can you think that? No, I understood him perfectly and clearly! He wants to spend his life completely with me.

M: It seems fishy to me that a guy like Aldo would get engaged to someone he just met that day.

Alicia says it was a simple case of love at first sight. As if to prove her point, she shows Marcia the photo, and it is only at this exact moment that I realize something: when she looks at this photo, she's not looking at Aldo, whose frightened eyes say it all. No, she's looking at herself - all happy and clueless - and reliving that magical moment in her own secret parallel universe where she's irresistible and everyone likes her.

Fern and Omar

Fern and Omar get back to the office. Fern has his phone in his hand and isn't able to compete for the big chair. He asks Luigi if he has Aldo's book - "Flavor of Cuachiflasis [not in my dictionary!!] or Flavor of Life or something about sopes and garnachas." No, and he hasn't read it either. Fern is annoyed about this "ridiculous" book. Omar says how do you know if it's ridiculous if you haven't read it? Fern says, "It's about sopes and garnachas and quesadillas, that's why! And it was written by the ridiculous Aldo Domenza-EEN, don't ask dumb questions, Omar!"

Fern's theory is that if they have Aldo's book, they won't need the actual flesh-and-blood Aldo. Omar wisely decides not to challenge Fern's fragile grip on logic, and instead taunts him with a stuffed giraffe from the Big Bag o' Lies. (This was the giraffe that I once called a "girama" because I couldn't tell from a distance whether it was a giraffe or a llama.) Fern snatches it away from Omar and tells him not to touch it. Omar worries that someone will catch them with this stuff, but Fern advises him that no one needs to know about it and they can keep it all hidden. (Fern is waving the giraffe around - not a great way to hide things.) Fern reminds him that Omar's the one who bought all these things and please hide them nicely.

Omar agrees to do so, but strangles the giraffe and makes a noise. "Don't squeeze it," Fern says sternly. "Why not?" Omar says defensively as he puts it back in the bag. "It brings back good memories."

I'm not sure if I want to know about those.

The New Tomas

Tomas goes back to his office and complains about how "these things" make his eyes water. There is a pile of used facial tissues all over his desk. He blows his nose and says firmly, "It's now or never. Here I come, Alicia Ferreira!"

At waist-height, we see the sunglasses hit the desk, followed by the hat. Then we see Tomas's denim-clad legs approach the door.

Alicia is still smooching the Aldo photo alone at her desk (I wonder whose face she's kissing - Aldo's or hers?) and murmuring sweet nothings to it.

Suddenly, we're looking through the Tomas-Cam. Alicia's arms sag in disbelief and she drops the photo on her desk. Her jaw falls the short distance to her, uh, jaw-cushions as she slowly rises from her desk. Behind her, Aldo gets off the elevator, but she is too fascinated by the vision in front of her to notice.

The camera switches back to Tomas's feet in black loafers... then up to his legs in jeans... then we see a forest green blazer (velvet? tweed? corduroy? I can't tell). His hands seem to be resting over a belt that we can't see because it's covered by the white-striped hem of a grey turtleneck sweater. Panning up some more, there's - ugh - some necklace with a charm... and then...

The Golden Circle of Tomorrow. Damn!

Fortunately, it's a double-feature tonight, so tomorrow is today and now we see the face.

I'll confess now that I saw this on YouTube a few months ago. I heard Tomas was getting a makeover, and I just had to see. I'm sorry I did. I've been having nightmares about it ever since. Remember that sleep study I had to do? This is why. This is what's been keeping me awake.

Not really. Because on YouTube his face was only a couple of centimeters tall. But now on my little 15" TV, his face is the size of a Frisbee. A big BLOND blow-dried Frisbee, blinking fast enough to make up the difference for Marcia's staring over the last, what's it been now, 10 months? Holy mackerel, this show has been on for 10 months. It doesn't seem that long to me, but maybe that's because I've only been watching 7 months.

Anyway, he's blinking a mile a minute, trying to keep his new blue contact lenses from popping out of his eyes. And he's grinning in a very weird way, showing off a luminescent Ultra-Brite smile.

Aldo is trying to tell Alicia that he wants to talk to her about "what happened last night," but Alicia can't hear him. She is laughing too loudly to hear anything. (Perhaps the "natural blonde" isn't aware of the irony.)

Crushed, Tomas's smile droops. He stops blinking and begins to cry. Aldo is not amused by Alicia's peals of laughter. "Tomas, what have you done?" he asks. "Isn't it obvious?" Alicia crows. "That dummy wants to look like you." She tells Tomas he'd have to go back to birth for that. In fact, even that wouldn't be enough. "There are some things that just can't be fixed," she says.

Tomas puts the trenchcoat over his head. Aldo tells Alicia that laughter lifts the soul, but not when it's caused by someone else's pain. "Please, Alicia," he says. She stops, although I'm not sure she understands why.

Aldo leads Tomas to the restroom (Tomas can't see, with the trenchcoat over his head and his contacts killing him). He has to hurry, because Alicia looks like she's going to start laughing again.

Safely in the restroom, Aldo tells Tomas (who is scolding himself for his stupidity) to get "those things" out of his eyes, but Tomas thinks he's already lost them because he can't see. Aldo says they look okay. Fumbling, Tomas puts his glasses on. He tells Aldo that he's the ugliest of the ugly on the planet. He never dreamed he could be with a woman like Alicia, but then, he never thought he'd be a VP of finance worthy of a monkey-cage either. Aldo says he is worthy of more than a monkey-cage.

Tomas notices that this is the second time Aldo has rescued him. Aldo admits that he doesn't like Ariel's attitude, and Alicia lacks the sensitivity to understand a person like Tomas - loyal, shy, intelligent. Tomas says those are the things that people value in someone, and that's what he's always told Lety, but he's never told it to himself. It's easy to say it, but not to do it.

Inspecting Tomas's dye job, Aldo says something like there are things that CAN change, and then there are things that SHOULD change. They laugh (Tomas kinda snorts). Tomas asks what he should do about his hair. Aldo recommends shampoo and soap. Tomas asks what kind Aldo uses. Aldo replies, "15." (Dunno what this is.) Aldo offers to get Tomas some shampoo (Luigi keeps some around). As he approaches the door, Tomas hurriedly covers his head. Aldo offers to put up a sign on the door telling people to keep out!

Tomas goes to the mirror and squeamishly prepares to take his contacts out.

Very soon afterwards, Aldo is toweling Tomas's hair dry. Tomas is afraid to look as Aldo slowly pulls the towel back. The color is still, y'know, not very Tomas, but at least none of his hair has fallen out. Tomas is depressed and Aldo says it'll take a while for his regular color to grow back.

Tomas acknowledges that Aldo has been really nice to him several times. "Friends?" he says, offering his hand. Aldo takes it and kisses it. (Just kidding. He shakes it. But just think how much funnier it would have been if Luigi had walked in on Aldo washing Tomas's hair and kissing his hand. No?)

Tomas combs his hair into his usual Woody Woodpecker crest. Aldo is telling him that his favorite thing to prepare is shellfish, or any other kind of seafood. (Oysters and snails... oysters and snails...) Tomas says they make a great team - Aldo likes to cook, and Tomas likes to eat.

Tomas sits on the bench with Aldo and asks what Aldo thinks of Lety. Aldo says this is the greatest thing they have in common, because Lety is important to both of them. Tomas wants to know how important. "More than you can imagine, Tomas." Tomas says they both know how great she is - marvelous, poised, intelligent, kind, shy, loyal... Aldo interrupts, she is lovely. Tomas says, "seriously, she's a good friend..." Aldo says "Tomas, Leticia is very beautiful."

Tomas says "Yeah? OK, if that's how she looks to you, then I agree." He asks if Aldo thinks someone could really be in love with her. Aldo suddenly wants to postpone the rest of this conversation until later. Tomas gets up for his trenchcoat, and I notice that he's wearing the sweater but not the jacket, and suddenly I realize that he looks so much better with a jacket. He nervously prepares to come out of the bathroom and be seen with his new look. He thanks Aldo again for his help.

Aldo leaves, and Tomas tells himself, "what a guy. He'd be ideal for Lety." He realizes that this would be killing two birds with one stone - it'd make Lety forget about Fern, and then he could have Alicia all to himself!

In the Upside-Down Monster Ladyparts Seashell Grotto & Zen Garden

Lety is STILL talking to the cuartel. (Do they EVER give it a rest??) She tells them to call their bosses for a meeting. Lola says she needs to go to the judge. Lety asks how the divorce is going. Lola says El Cheque's going after the house and she doesn't think she's going to get any of the money. Lety tries to calm her down and says it'll all turn out fine. (I'm sure that's a great comfort to Lola considering that Lety has no legal expertise at all.) She tells Lola of course she can go see the judge, no problem (unlike Lopez who probably would have tried to fire Lola just for asking).

The cuartel files out and Lety notices that something is amiss with the painting on her wall. She wonders if it's ghosts. (No, Lety - the painting inverted ITSELF because it was ANGRY! It demands a daily tribute! It wants LITTLE STUFFED ANIMALS!!!)

In the boardroom

Carolina, wearing a MUCH better outfit, finds Lety looking at the huge basket of flowers. She admires them and asks who they're from. Lety says she's sure they came from Aldo. (The door cracks open; Fern begins to peep.) Caro finds the card - a task that eluded the entire cuartel. It reads, "I lost a pearl that I had for you, but in exchange, I ordered these flowers." Lety doesn't understand; Caro encourages her to ask "him." (Fern is incensed.) Lety says she's not going to ask "him" about the pearl, but she loves the flowers.

Enraged, Fern enters the room and slams a sheaf of papers against the door. They look at him, and he pretends that he is swatting a fly. He babbles stupidly for a while, says he needs to go for Omar, lines up all the chairs carefully, swats another imaginary fly for good measure, and excuses himself.

Caro tells Lety to stop worrying about Fern and whether or not he heard her read the card. It'd be better to focus on Aldo getting them for her, right? Lety says he likes her a lot, and she likes him too. Caro wants to know what kind of liking this is - the liking of friends, of siblings... Lety gets irritable and says Caro sounds like her mother. "Excuuuse me?" Caro asks. Lety says that Mom and Caro are both seeing this from the outside. On the inside, she thinks he's a great friend, but he's never suggested anything more. (Perhaps because someone interrupts or she runs away every time he tries?) Caro says that if that's Lety's perception, then it's "valid."

Lety moves the flowers into her office so that no one will ask about them during the meeting. While she's out of the room, Caro muses aloud that poor Lety can't even conceive of the love that Aldo has for her.

More lobby loopiness

It appears that the cuartel is lollygagging in the restroom again. (Where do they go when they have to pee?) Alicia answers PM's phone and tells Guillermo - the caller - that Lety's secretary isn't around at the moment, she can't take a message, and he'll have to call back later. Like maybe a year from now.

(What does it take to get a person fired around here?)

The cuartel comes out of the restroom just in time for PM to catch the end of this conversation. She complains, Alicia says she doesn't have time to talk to all of PM's little friends. Saimon happens by and complains about PM's little friends too and leaves.

Sara demands that Alicia hand over all of Lety's messages. Alicia says, "you know where you can find those messages? In your TOMB! They'll need an oil drill to bury you." Sara tells Alicia to tell her boss that there's a meeting right now. Alicia doesn't want to do it. Sara warns that if Marcia doesn't show up, they'll have to put flowers on Alicia's tomb. They laugh and make ghost noises at Alicia. Martha says in place of flowers, they'll bring the bills from her cell phone, her jewels, and her creditors. Lola adds that it will be a well-visited tomb... for the lawyers! PM jokes that she'll have a nice headstone... until it gets repossessed!

Alicia says that when they die, they won't go to go to hell, nor heaven, nor purgatory, no, they'll just stay here, haunting people as witches. And they'll die soon! Very soon! Of envy, because Aldo asked her to marry him!

They scoff at her, and Fern, who's been on the phone in the lobby all this time, yells that the employees at Conceptos are making a scene. Alicia continues to say that they won't be invited to her wedding. They ask what flavor of sorbet she's going to have.

Martha voices doubt that a man like Aldo wants to marry Alicia. She thinks he's more Luigi's type. Alicia leaves them to their gossip. Irma says she doesn't like to gossip about her boss, but in this case she thinks it's more likely that Aldo's with Luigi. Luigi's having a tiff with Ruli... about jealousy over Aldo.

Just then, they catch sight of Tomas sneaking from the restroom to his office. He hears them laughing and tries to hide... which only makes him look sillier. He gives up and says they're probably wondering about his hair. He says he ran out of shampoo this morning, and he was half-asleep, and he accidentally used something of his mother's. Martha is skeptical. Lola tells him about the meeting and says she has to go see the judge. Tomas says that's okay, but don't stay too late - they've got lots of work to do!

And of course, he's right. Especially since no one has done a lick of work today yet. (The Three Stooges Shemp Edition making a scene at a meeting does not count as work.)

As Tomas goes back to his office, Irma points out that he has one eye blue, and the other eye "a different color." Juana asks if they weren't already like that. Martha thinks he was born that way.

Redrum... redrum... redrum...

Morose, Fern joins Omar in a red-walled area of Omar's office that I don't think I've ever noticed before. Omar asks what's wrong. Fern says he has good news and bad news. Omar wants the good news first. Fern says Aldo is going to marry Alicia. Omar asks, marry (casar) or hunt (cazar)? Har. He says, in that case, Aldo's even dumber than they thought.

Omar asks for the bad news. Fern can barely bring himself to say it: Lety has an admirer! Omar tells Fern to put his feet up on the couch and relax. Omar pulls up a chair, and they look like a stereotypical TV psychiatrist and patient. Omar analyzes the situation: if Aldo is marrying Alicia, it'd be quite the coincidence if he has the same habits as Fern: having a formal girlfriend as well as a lover at the same company, in the same place and with the same people... they joke about a song that has these lyrics.

Fern thinks that her admirer isn't Aldo, but someone else. He says he saw Lety in the boardroom showing off some flowers to Carolina. Omar picks up a pad and pencil to take notes. (What is it with pencils at this place? I never see people with pens around Conceptos. I only mention it because I hate pencils, myself.) He encourages Fern to get comfortable and talk some more. Fern explains about the pearl and the flowers. Omar carefully writes this down and says it sounds to him as if this is someone who would give a ridiculous gift like a painting of a seashell. Fern doesn't understand how this can be, if Aldo's marrying Alicia.

Omar offers to investigate. Fern wants to help. Omar says he's going to write him a prescription for suppositories. Fern kicks him. Omar says he'll write an Rx for tranquilizers as well. 200 mg. Fern says that Omar's the one with a mental illness.

Fern admits that he really does need Omar's help. Sara wanders in and tells them about the meeting. They thank her. She gives them a funny look and they say they're on they're way, prompting her to leave. Omar calls Fern "my dear ex-patient - uh, I mean, ex-president." They head towards the boardroom and Omar promises again to get Fern some suppositories.

Marcia's office

Alicia bursts into Marcia's office saying that Lety has ordered her to the boardroom for a meeting "like this," snapping her fingers. "Right now, like this," she repeats. Marcia looks up from her work and asks if Lety ordered her exactly like that. Alicia looks disappointed. Marcia asks her not to make things worse between her and Lety. Alicia admits that it was actually Sara who said it that way. She complains that they were talking about her tomb and her death.

Marcia goes out and asks the cuartel about this macabre little game. "Are you thinking of killing Alicia?" (Come on, who isn't?) She demands that they explain why they were describing her tomb. Sara says that Alicia's the one who started talking about tombs, and said they'd need an oil drill to bury Sara. (I forgot, in some places people are buried vertically. Okay, now it makes sense!) Marcia says if they don't stop, she'll fire both of them. "BOTH!" she repeats in Alicia's face.

Later, Saimon hands out the mail and squabbles with PM. He's still upset about PM dancing with that man.

In the main lobby

Did I ever mention that this is the drabbest main lobby I've ever seen? Nice floor, but not a window in sight. Lola gets off the elevator and Yazmin, who's giggling into a mirror and is dressed even more casually but more attractively than yesterday (because I think orange was a bad color for her), asks where she's going. Yazmin says that when she woke up this morning in the arms of her dear Flaquito... Lola says she doesn't want to know about her private life. Yazmin says she can't even tell Lola about all the things that go on in that bedroom at night, so much passion... yeah, I bet Yazmin gets "headaches" as frequently as humanly possible.

Lola interrupts, says she's in a hurry to go to the judge. Yazmin is under the impression (from Sanchez) that Lola might want a reconciliation. They argue over whether or not Lola would be crazy to want him back and whether or not she actually COULD get him back even if she wanted him. Lola says she just wants the money for her kids, and stomps out.

In Luigi's office

Irma is once again an involuntary eavesdropper, trying to hide a smile (or is it a grimace - I can't tell) as Luigi fights with Ruli over the phone. (I'm guessing she's heard lots of these fights over the years.) Luigi yells something about a filthy teddy bear and slams the phone down. Irma reminds him of the meeting and puts some valerian in his coffee. He rants and raves about how poorly Ruli is treating him. He says the only thing he's lacked on this tragic day was seeing the platypus.

In the Monster Seashell's Lair

The seashell is right-side-up again.

Caro joins Lety in her office and Lety asks Caro to find them a place to have the expo. Aldo comes in and she thanks him for the flowers. Caro suddenly remembers she left some papers in her car and excuses herself. :-) Lety asks Aldo about the pearl he mentioned in the card. He starts to explain, but her phone rings. She answers a question for PM and then asks him to continue, but he'd rather talk about the pearl later, when they're alone. She asks him about this morning's meeting. He sits down and puts on a big smile - the kind of smile that that most people wear when they're happy, but Aldo, cuz he smiles all the time.

He tells her that the problem between himself and Fern is strictly their problem, and not hers. He doesn't want to get into a contest with him, much less put her in the middle of something so nasty. Lety says she just wants to know how the meeting went. (Lety, I think he just told you. ;-) He says nothing serious, but Fern kept trying to embarrass him, and Omar wouldn't let him.

Why not end with a fun meeting?

Luigi runs up to Marcia, who asks if he's okay. He says he feels like he's having something even worse than a mimisqui, and asks Irma for more valerian. She says she already gave him 15 drops. (Is the number 15 significant in Mexican culture? It comes up a lot on this show. Maybe it's Rosy's lucky number?) Now he's offended that she thinks he needs that much. Marcia asks what's wrong, and he says that besides the company being run by someone who's ugly, and having one meeting after another, he's dreading whatever Lety comes up with next. Marcia knows that's not really it, but Luigi evades the question and asks Irma to add some alcohol to his drink so he doesn't burn his eyes looking at Lety.

He goes into the meeting room and calls Fern and Omar Batman and Robin... and now I'm REALLY mad that I never thought to call them that myself. Marcia complains about Lety being late for her own meeting, and all of them having to wait for her. Fern says of course they have to wait for her - she's the president. Lopez comes in (okay suit), saying suckuppy things, followed by Tomas, who avoids making eye contact with everyone in hopes that no one will see him either.

They all stare. They don't even pretend not to. Fern whispers loudly to Marcia that he has one blue (azul) eye and one brown eye. Marcia repeats it to Omar in an angry tone of voice. Omar repeats it to Lopez and Luigi in a more conversational tone, but instead of saying azul, he says "azulado" which basically means the same thing but Lopez hears it as "a su lado" ("on the side"). Lopez says that all eyes are on either one side or the other.

My old boss had one blue eye and one half-blue, half-brown eye. And one was on one side, and one was on the other side. But that's neither here nor there.

Luigi complains to newly-arrived Caro about the "visual aggression" in the room, but his valerian is starting to kick in, and he's in a better mood.

Tomas tires of having Fern stare at his face, and goes to fetch Lety, who is still talking to Aldo. This is the first time Lety has seen the New Tomas. He starts to tell the story about reaching for his mother's stuff while he was half-asleep, but Aldo looks at him disapprovingly and Tomas tells the real story. He wanted to look more like - "Cachirulo!" Lety laughs. I don't know Cachirulo, but I think it has something to do with rollers. Or someone named Lorena Herrera. But Tomas puts his face near Aldo's, and Aldo moves closer to Tomas. With a straight face, Lety says they're exactly alike. He shows her his eyes and says he can't get the other lens out. They all laugh. He reminds her of the meeting. Oh yeah. Pesky work again.

He sees the flowers and asks if he can have them. She says of course not.

In the boardroom, Marcia is still complaining about Lety's lateness. Luigi says it's okay with him if she never shows up. Just then, Lety arrives with her Wonder Twins. Fern acts confused and asks what Aldo's doing there. "Did YOU want him?" he asks Lety. Lety confirms that she invited him, and Aldo thanks Fern for welcoming him. (How he manages to say such things without a hint of sarcasm, I have no idea.) He asks Fern if his presence bothers him.

Fern says yes, it does. He thinks Aldo should stop overstepping his boundaries and go write his book. Aldo asks if Fern thinks he (Aldo) isn't needed, and Fern says yes. Not surprisingly, Luigi disagrees and says Fern doesn't know much about this subject. Fern complains about the chalupas, the tacos, and the refried beans. "And the tlacoyos," Luigi adds.

Aldo does some more esoteric talk about the sense of food, and all that it implies. We all work to get money, and with that money we get a plate of very good food. (Tomas finally speaks up: he agrees about the food.) Food also implies a ritual, sitting down at the table, relaxing, receiving food, eating with the family, with friends; I wonder if Fern and Marcia are remembering what their last dinner together was like!

Best of all, Aldo continues, is savoring the dishes that were prepared with so much love. Luigi dreamily (valerian-induced dreams) agrees. Aldo says there's something else that's the most important: we are gifted with an infinity of flavors, that man can combine to even greater nobility.

Omar says that sounds very good, very interesting. Fern scolds him and says that Aldo's lengthy speeches and cheap philosophy... sorry, folks, it's getting late and I'm falling down on this one. Something about tranquilizing people and making them happy. (Lopez laughs. No one else does.) Aldo puts on big sincere-looking fake smile.

Marcia says, "Do me a favor, Fern - don't be rude to Aldo."

---

Next week
Guillermo wants Fern off of the project.
Will Fern be told to stand in the corner until he can be a big boy? Tune in Monday to find out!

handy words from Alicia's vocabulary
avestruz=ostrich
codazo=elbow
hazana=heroic deed
madrugar=get up early
muchedumbre=crowd

Labels: fea

Labels: mundo

I am not going to recap the new televnovela on Telemundo, Zorro, la
Espalda y la rosa (the sword and the rose) since if you get the channel,
the novela has English subtitles. But for those Caray readers who don’t get
Telemundo, I thought I would report on some of the delicious silliness of
the story so far.

This novela takes place in the past (swords, horses, long skirts on women)
but unlike Alborada and Amor Real, there is not the slightest attempt at
historical accuracy. And how could there be since the story is about a guy
that nobody recognizes when he covers up half his face.

The novela opens in Spain where the father of the heroine, Esmeralda, has
been reappointed a Governor of the town/province/whatever of Los Angeles.
The father is evil and is played by Arturo Peniche of Alborada and Heridas de Amor.
Esmeralda is played by Marlene Favela, who was in the first novela I ever
watched, Gata Salvaje, and was also in Contra Viento y Marea.

In addition to the regular inhabitants of Los Angeles and the soldiers, there are a couple of groups that interact with the characters in this novela. First, there are the gypsies. While in Spain, a group of Gypsies recognize Esmeralda as the daughter of their missing queen.

Since Esmeralda is going to California, the whole band of gypsies goes to
California too. We see Esmeralda on the voyage standing on the bowsprit of
an itty bitty schooner on a calm sunlit sea. In reality, getting the to the
west coast of north America from Europe involved either sailing around the
tip of South America, where gigantic waves and icebergs were not uncommon
or sailing to the east coast of the isthmus of Panama, crossing it on land
and then getting another ship for the Pacific voyage. But never mind,
Esmeralda, her family and the gypsies and all their caravans, etc get to Los Angeles.

The second group are the Indians. I call them Indians rather than
Native Americans because these are Indians from Central Casting for a 1960’s western. They are Caucasians in warpaint and headbands. The young woman Indian wears a fetching buckskin top that reveals her cleavage and is cut off to show her nice flat midriff as well. She has the power to use handfuls of dust with magic words to make horses rear and throw off their riders. However, this power can’t keep her brother from being killed by soldiers and her being wounded.

But wait, there’s more. Diego and Esmeralda fall into the river and go over a big waterfall and end up on the forest on the other side of the river in the territory of the cannibals! These are cannibals right out of Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man’s Chest. They have their faces painted white and wear bones as hair ornaments.

Diego (Zorro in his civvies) almost drowns while trying to rescue
Esmeralda when she falls into the river. Esmeralda revives him with some
mouth to mouth resuscitation and CPR! It partly because putting her mouth on Diego’s reminds her of being kissed by Zorro that enables her to guess that Diego is in fact Zorro. Later they have sex in a stream.

It turns out that Esmeralda’s mother, the queen of the gypsies, is being
held in prison in Los Angeles. For some reason, she has to wear an iron
mask – sort of the feminine version of the Man in the Iron Mask. Her being in
prison is a big secret. Only the Governor knows who she is or why she is
there.

The gypsies send messages to this prisoner by tying tiny notes to a big,
fat white rat that goes into the prison and right to her cell. The stupid
guards don’t notice the white rat with the note tied to its neck. Now as
far as I can tell, the Gypsies just got to Los Angeles so how they set up
this rat communication so quickly is a mystery.

The mysterious prisoner not only has a mask thingy that covers her entire
head and only has openings for her eyes, she is also chained up in her cell
with her arms loosely over her head. The amazing thing is that not
only is she able to get the note from the rat courier and read it, she sends a reply!

There is also a hunchback, a nun who committed incest with her brother and has religious visions and sundry other silliness. The guys are cute too. I like Diego/Zorro a lot. There's a hot young gypsy, an evil soldier and Oswaldo Rios plays Diego's father and he is very good looking too. It’s very entertaining and I’m sorry if your TV service doesn’t carry Telemundo.

Labels: Zorro

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What a sad day for Mundo fans everywhere....preempted by an awards show. Well, fortunately I have Diego de la Vega to comfort me! Zorro, here I come!

Labels: mundo

No episode tonight because there's an award show on. We'll have to wait till tomorrow to see if Emilio rescues Flor!

Labels: duelo