Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Zorro, Monday April 2, 2007: The one where Diego plies SAM with alcohol and we learn that the blacksmith works overtime.

We begin tonight’s episode with the sickening Mariangel trying to make her sister Esmeralda feel uncomfortable. Diego, forced into agreeing to wed MA even though he is in love with Esme, has come over to the Sanchez home to discuss when his wedding will take place. He had no idea that Esme was visiting and in no mood to make nice with MA, he just comes out with the fact that there will be a double wedding next week, his and MA’s and his father and Almudena’s. MA plays up the wedding info, saying things like how wonderful, what a beautiful family we will all make---your father and my aunt, you and I…..blah, blah. Esme looks sad and MA lays it on even thicker. She goes so far as to kiss Diego. MA-I’m going to be so happy. (YUCK!!) Then MA lets Diego know that Esme is there and heard everything. Diego looks properly uncomfortable and also sad. He tries to tell Esme that he had no idea she was there, but Esme tries to make like she’s not bothered by all of this. She tells MA and Diego that they will make a nice couple and that she hopes that all goes well with their wedding. Esme chooses to make her exit and Diego obviously wants to say some more to her. He makes a move to follow her and MA tells him to let her go. He tries to tell her that he’s got things to do. MA says she knows that he wants to go find Esme and talk to her, but he needs to remember that Esme has already made her choice, she’s decided to remain with Montero. After rubbing that salt in his deeply gashed wounds, MA decides she’s going to try to take her relationship with him to a new level. She says she knows that this is going to be an arranged marriage, but she IS going to be his WIFE, and therefore deserves some respect (what does she mean, is this a euphamism for him scratching her itch, isn't that why she's got Monty on a string?). She tells him to not leave her hanging and ignore her. Diego tells her to stop playing around like she just did with Esme and perhaps he’ll think about it. He leaves.

At the de la Vega home, Yumali has been busy playing dress up. First in some moldy old shoes and now in some native garb. Alejandro walks in on her and has a flash to his deceased wife. He tells Yumi that she looks just like Regina (the dead wife). It’s almost as if she was reborn in Yumi. He swears if he didn’t know that all of Regina’s people were dead, he’d be certain that her blood also runs in Yumi. Yumi takes advantage of this situation and moves in on Al. He starts to compare the two women…they have the same eyes, skin, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yumi reminds him that she is not Regina (but she’s sure playing up the likeness so she can mess with Al's mind). Yumi tells him it’s not how she looks, but how he feels. She moves in for a kiss and Al almost gives in, but at the last second regains his senses. He looks ticked off and he walks away. Outside the room he runs into Dolores. He tells her that there is much to do before his wedding to Dena next week. Dolores is surprised that a date has been selected. Al tells her that she should, in a nice way, tell Yumi that she’s going to need to switch rooms…he’s decided she needs to move to the back of the house (OUCH! Yumi won’t like that). He tells Dolores to tell Yumi because he thinks it would be better coming from her (he’s a wimp). Again he reminds her to do it nicely (man, he worries about everything, after what Yumi just tried to pull and he worries that her feelings are going to get hurt. I swear he's headed for a heartattack with all the stress of worrying).

Diego runs into Olmos outside the Sanchez house. He asks if Olmos has seen Esme. Olmos tells Diego he hasn’t seen her and Diego takes off to other parts to look for her. Once Diego is gone, Esme pops out of hiding. She thanks Olmos for covering for her. He tells Esme, that since she’s here, he’s got some documents for her to sign regarding the transfer of her dowry to Monty. Olmos tells Esme that he arranged for Esme to keep her jewelry. He says he told Monty that it was mostly fake and had little worth, even though Olmos knew the opposite to be true. He warns Esme that she should hide her jewels from Monty. Esme asks Olmos why he is doing all of this to help her.

The Cardinal (TC) has arrived, per Fernando’s request, at the governor’s office. He’s not too happy because FS is going over documents and not paying the proper attention to his eminence. TC accuses FS of abusing his power and he demands to know why FS ordered him there. FS puts down his paperwork and tells TC that he (TC) will be catching the next ship and returning to Spain. FS says there is no way he will allow TC to give official papal approval to the order of nuns in town, there is no way he will allow those women to be consecrated. TC asks if FS is kicking him out of the town? After all, the pope has sent TC there on a mission and he will do as the pope trusted. FS repeats, there is no way he’ll allow the order to be consecrated. TC says he knows that FS is doing all of this to keep Maria Pia under his control. FS tells TC that MP will be his. TC –If you have any nobility in you, you will respect MP and her feelings and leave her in peace. FS tells TC that he has no way of understanding love. TC says au contraire, he has forsaken passion as part of his vows and as a result he understands real and true love (I think implying that what FS feels for MP isn’t quite real or true). TC goes on to say that the sisters are doing good work for the town, helping the poor, etc. He tells FS that he should be ashamed of trying to stop MP from doing God’s work. FS doesn’t like to hear this and he makes a grab for TC’s collar. TC decides that he needs to play hardball with FS, he tells FS that if he does anything more to inhibit MP from taking her vows he (TC) will excommunicate Fernando. FS says go ahead, because excommunication means nothing to him. For him, FS, Maria Pia is his god and there is no way he is going to lose her. Sorry TC, those threats only work with people who give a darn.

Maria Pia meets up with Sister Suplicios (Nutty Nun or NN if you please). They question each other about their recent happenings (just another way to rehash for those viewers who perhaps missed a few episodes and do not have access to this wonderful website). MP asks NN why she ran away from the convent. NN tells her it is because she could not remain in a place full of evil....pause…evil because of you MP!!! NN goes on to question MP about being missing from the convent all day (see, someone knows it isn’t proper for these almost nuns to be wandering about all hours of the day…..these are dangerous times). MP does not feel she needs to explain herself and besides NN will only believe the bad about MP. MP goes on to tell NN that the Cardinal has decided that Maria Pia will become the Mother Superior of their order once it gets consecrated (nana-nana boo boo!!). NN does not look happy about this. NN surmises that MP will want her to leave the convent but MP tells her that she wants her to stay (like someone said earlier, it is better to keep her in a controlled environment than have her nutty self roaming the mean streets of Los Angeles). The two women rehash further, all about NN trying to set MP up to be caught with Fernando by the Cardinal. NN tells MP that she just wanted TC to know the truth about MP. NN goes on to say that she’s going to be watching every move that MP makes, because she (NN) is the Lord’s spy ( I don't think that God really needs spies, because can't He, like, see everything? She's not a very good nun if she can't even get this concept).

In the prison, the guard that Olmos paid off is delivering food to Sara Kali and her cell mate, Hermes. The food doesn’t look all that good to me, but I’m sure it beats the swill they’ve probably been getting. The guard tells them that this is a gift from someone on the outside. SK wants to know from whom.

Esme is trying to get some info from Olmos. He tells her that he cannot give her details on what he’s doing and who he works for because there are some important officials who could be compromised if word leaked out. He says he does know about Sara Kali’s past. Esme says how strange that he knows all of this. She wants to know how Olmos knew that SK was locked up in the prison. Olmos says he’s suspected for some time that SK was being held in Callao prison, but it wasn’t until he was able to bribe the guard that he found out for sure. Esme says she’s got to get her mother out of there. Olmos tells her to not do anything that will put her or her mother at risk. He says he’s been watching Esme for some time (I think implying he knows she’s snuck into the prison, met with the gypsies, and wants to break momma out) and that he is there to help her. Esme says she remembers coming across some papers in her father’s office, something referring to SK and keeping her secret. The letter was from the crown and signed by….Olmos interrupts and says not to mention the name, he looks around like there are spies all around (don't worry, the only spy in this story is NN and she's doing the Lord's work by watching over Maria Pia). Esme says again that she needs to free her mother and Olmos tells her not yet. Esme goes on to tell Olmos that she doesn’t know why, but she believes he can really help her, so she’s going to trust him, but he needs to understand that if her mother is in danger, there is nothing she won’t do to get her out.

Meanwhile, Diego is out and about trying to do his part toward getting SK out of prison. Diego is visiting the local cantina, where Sgt. Garcia, or SAM if you will, is enjoying an evening of partaking in food and drink. Diego tries to get the skinny from the barmaid. She warns Diego to not give SAM any more to drink. “If he drinks too much, he talks too much.” Just as Diego wants. So Diego sits down and starts to do just that. SAM apologizes for what his captain, Pizarro, did to Diego in prison. Diego says not to worry, and besides SAM was such a good friend, looking out for him. For that they need to drink, to celebrate their friendship. SAM isn’t one to pass on a drink, so he’s all for this plan. SAM chuckles thinking about Pizarro’s charges against Diego, “Who could think that you could be Zorro, HA!!” Diego’s plan is working, SAM’s lips are getting looser. Diego, pretending to be just as smashed as SAM, tells SAM that he must have passed out when he was in the prison. He says that he work up in a different place, that Pizarro must have moved him somewhere in the bowels of the prison. SAM is confused, he thought that area had been all blocked off, it is very strange.

Tobias is tending to the wounded Maestro. Tobi explains to Maestro that with his help it will be easy to find out the true identity of the outlaw Zorro. Tobi explains that Zorro’s swordsmanship is distinct and it is obvious he learned from the Maestro. So, the Maestro will just have to take a look at the men in town and figure out which one is his former student. The Maestro is disturbed that a former student of his could be Zorro, but the good thing is, that he remembers all of his students. Tobi goes on to tell Maestro that once they give the authorities the info of Zorro’s true identity, the two of them will be very rich.......they both like the idea of that happening.

Esme finds her Aunt Dena upstairs in the Sanchez home. The two women do a lot of rehashing…they talk about Diego and if Esme told him she was preggers (No, she didn’t)…they talk about the upcoming wedding and how Dena feels terrible it will be a double wedding---Esme tries to be supportive and says the important thing is that it will be Dena’s wedding day….they talk about Esme’s marriage to Monty and how he is a weasely rascal, but Esme needs to use him to get info on her mom….they get around to discussing Olmos’s helping Esme and Dena says she’s not sure about him. Esme takes this time away from her home with Monty to write some notes….at first I thought she was going to have Dena act as a courier between her and the gypsies (like Dena offered to do for Esme and Diego), but that’s not what I think Esme had in mind. Dena wants to know what Esme is writing, but Esme doesn’t share. The two woman now rehash some more, this time about Sara Kali. They segue into Esme’s pregnancy again and Esme says that there is nothing she won’t do for her “son”, she’ll defend him to her death.

Dolores, ever the good housekeeper, has apparently told Yumi the news of her relocation and it is perfectly clear that Yumi is not happy about the move. Dolores is trying to be nice and talk up all to positives of Yumi’s new room. Yumi isn’t buying all of this. She and Dolores talk some more about Al and Yumi says, as his goddaughter, she is going to continue to take care of him. Dolores tells her that isn’t her place, Al will be marrying Dena and it will be Dena’s job, as his wife, to take care of Al. Yumi doesn’t like this one iota.

Fernando has come to see Alejandro. He wants to explain what happened with Maria Pia. FS says that he got carried away, he was plum loco, crazy, and plainly didn’t exercise good judgment when he KIDNAPPED Al’s sister. Al isn’t quick to forgive, he’s making Fernando work a little harder. Fernando promises that he’d never hurt Maria Pia (just hurt the people and things important to her, ed. Note). He goes on to say he hopes that he and Al can still be friends (and with friends like these, who needs enemies, right?). FS extends his hand to Al and Al isn’t taking it. That’s right make Fernando work some more. Fernando pulls out the we’re going to be family card, after all, Dena is Fernando’s sister and soon she’ll be Al’s wife. OK, that didn’t get the handshake to happen, so FS brings up that the two men have a long history and perhaps their friendship won’t be the same, but they need to make it work. Al agrees and shakes FS’s hand. FS goes on to say how happy he is that his sister will be marrying Al. Fernando, obviously on another mission than just seeking forgiveness, starts to ask Al about his first wife. FS says he didn’t know Regina very well. He gets Al talking. Al fills in some of the blanks. He married Regina and because she was an Indian, he had to return to Spain ‘cuz he had some ‘splaining to do. When he left, he didn’t know that Regina was in the family way. Regina, worried that she was causing serious problems for Al, ran away and returned to her people. Six years later (Al still wasn’t back from Spain, so I guess transport back to the mother country wasn’t as efficient then as it is now in Zorro’s time) he got the news from Maria Pia that Regina and her people were killed, in front of Diego. Regina was killed by a Spaniard (Al said this with disgust, need I remind him that he too is a Spaniard?). Al goes on to tell Fernando that Diego was what kept him going, otherwise he would have never survived Regina’s death. Fernando very moved by Al’s story, and you can tell it’s sinking in---that he may be responsible for all of this.

Padre Tomas goes to Maria Pia and asks her for the dagger found on Regina’s dead body. She wants to know why he needs it. He tells her that it would be for her own good to get rid of it, to give up that part of her past. She’s not convinced, so he tells her the truth, that Fernando requested to see the dagger. PT thinks FS should see it, so he can see for himself what he has done, come face to face with his sins. Maria Pia agrees to give it to PT.

Diego has succeeded in getting SAM even drunker and SAM is quite funny as a drunkard. Diego offers to take SAM to the hacienda, that way he won’t get in trouble. SAM says no can do, that Monty has strict orders that all soldiers need to be in the prison fortress before midnight, or their carriages will turn back into pumpkins. Diego worries that SAM will be seen returning to the prison. No problema, SAM tells him. He won’t be seen because he’s going to tell Diego a secret, he’s going to sneak in through a hidden door. It is a small door (perfect for our short-armed-man, I’m sure). In fact, SAM found the door when he was rescuing a helpless bird and low and behold there was a door with the key in the keyhole (what luck). SAM dangles the key out for Diego to see. SAM says that this could come in handy for Diego, the next time he’s thrown in jail he’ll know a way out (but Diego is thinking more about a way in for Zorro). SAM passes out. Diego takes the opportunity to get the key and convienently finds some clay and makes a mold of the key. He gets SAM back to the prison, and I’m assuming finds out where the door is located (I must have missed this part). Diego then goes to meet Bernardo. He tells him about his success with getting SAM drunk, what he found out and gives Bernie the mold and asks him to make a key.

Monty is yelling at his soldiers. He wants to know where his wife has gone. He says she should be only one place other than at home, her father’s house. He sends the men out to look for her and he mutters to himself that if she is anywhere else she’s going to be in big trouble.

Esme leaves her father’s house and sees one of the gypsy men (a new one--- kinda cute, but he looks like he’s a couple crayons short of a full box). I think she calls him Javier (so that’s what I’m going to call him). Just as she’s about to rehash with Javier, Monty’s soldiers show up. Javier jumps back in the shadows (maybe he’s got a little more than I gave him credit). The soldiers tell her it is time to go home and they scold her for going around town without an escort, Monty doesn’t want her alone, blah, blah, blah. Esme agrees to go with them and she drops her note for Javier to pick up.

Back at the gypsy camp, Laisha is crying on Renzo’s shoulder. She’s upset about Miguel. She feels that Miguel risked everything, including his life, to help Sara Kali and Esme hasn’t done a darn thing. Renzo starts to scold her when Javier shows up with the note. Jonas reads the note, just further rehash about Sara Kali and how they’ll get her freed from prison. Laisha mutters that it is Esme’s fault that Miguel is dead (yeah, and it was Pizarro that tortured him and cut off his head, so let’s place blame where blame is due). They are all happy (except Laisha) that their queen will soon be free and back with them.

Padre Tom has gotten the dagger and he’s examining it. He wonders what is up Fernando’s sleeve, he suspects that something is amiss. Could it be possible, he asks, that Fernando had nothing to do with Regina’s death? PT hears someone coming and quickly hides the dagger. It is Diego. The two men rehash a bit about Sara Kali and the prison. Diego lets PT know that Zorro will break SK out of Callao. PT asks what is his reason for freeing SK. Diego says it is because she is Esme’s mom (he’s honest, at least). PT says that Diego should remember and not betray the principles of Zorro. They go on to rehash about Esme and if Diego has had a chance to talk to her. They rehash further about how much Diego loves her and how he feels knowing she’s with Monty. PT tells Diego he’s going to have to accept his destiny and Diego tells PT it is not easy to do.

At the convent a group of men come looking for the escaped slave. MP questions why they want to enter the convent. They tell her that they are looking for a runaway slave and the hound dogs followed his scent, which led them to the convent. NN is in the background and she looks concerned (because she’s the one hiding the slave inside the convent). They ask if they can check the pantry (perhaps they are hungry?). MP tells them she won’t allow them into the convent to continue their search (I hope that NN is paying attention).

PT goes to see Fernando. He shows him the dagger and asks if it is Fernando’s. Does he remember? Fernando takes a look at it (it has a pretty distinct handle) and he says, without a doubt he didn’t do it, he didn’t kill Regina.

Bernardo meets Diego in the Bat Cave and gives him the key (don’t even get me started on where did he get this done, this time of night….I guess we can assume that Bernardo has some excellent metalworking skills…..I suppose we all need skills to fall back upon in hard times---or maybe the Los Angeles blacksmith gets to pull in some overtime, helping out Zorro at all hours of the night). Diego rehashes about Esme and her mother some more. He talks about how happy she’s going to be once her mother is free from prison. All that aside, Diego tells Bernardo he is worried (he is Al’s son after all). He just can’t help worrying that Monty is going to do something to harm Esme.

Monty is waiting for Esme when she gets home. He demands to know where she was. She tells him she was visiting her home. He reminds her that THIS is her home NOW!! So she amends what she said, she was visiting her other home, the place where she is just as happy as she is here. Monty is looking for a fight and he demands she show some respect (now, that is a word that is thrown around quite liberally by people in this episode who have no real concept of the meaning----Monty would be better off clearly explaining what type of behavior he expects from his wife--do what he says & know what he wants at all times). Esme stands up to him…..not the kind of respect he’s looking for so he hauls off and hits her (BASTARD!!!), she hits him back (that’s our girl!!!!), he hits her again and decides he wants to make her his “wife” tonight. So he pushes her on the bed. She tells him not to touch her. He proceeds further to show her no respect and continues to force himself on her. He roughs her up some more and she continues to fight him. He decides that beating her will be the best way, and he goes for his whip (he keeps this in the bedroom? I don’t even want to know). Esme is terrified, but not for herself but for her unborn child. She begs Monty to stop, to not hurt the baby inside her. Monty esta muy, muy impactado! END of EPISODE

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Monday, April 02, 2007

La Fea Más Bella #244 4/2/07 I am so tired of all these nitwits.

OK, I'm trying Ferro's idea today and typing as I watch.

Trying to learn how to be an actual secretary, Sara ushers Carloca into Fern's office with exaggerated formality. The cuartel hisses, "the panther goes after her prey!" Fern gyrates to avoid herCarla's advances, puts her on the other side of the table, gives one of her fingers a gingerly kiss. She virtually licks the spot.

"Tell me about last night," she callously begins. "I ended it with Marcia after 4 years. She's still in love with me. Most of the fault for this is mine. I have to admit I'm relieved."

PM bounces into Lety's office with more gossip: Fern is sequestered with Carla in his office. Lety says PM should inform all that there will be a meeting in the board room, with Marcia too. "This is gonna be one hot meeting!" says PM. "Not hot, a hell."

The cuartel is internally divided over the correct amount of time to spend in idle gossip. Some think 95%, some thing only 80% and Sara seems to be temporarily anti-gossip altogether. Code Red is called. Marcia sees them stampede off to the bathroom, where it's decided that for the sin of too much gossip Martha must give her sandwich to Alicia. She does. Alicia eats it.

The board room is tense with Marcia so angry. Lety suggests they not talk about what happened last night, but Marcia points out: "We seem to have a lot of trouble separating business from personal stuff."

Carla and Fern enter. Bitterly Marcia suggests Carla and Lety go at it to decide which of them will end up with Fern. Carla tries to be businesslike and says she'll be reaching 67% of the US market with the commercials - they should have another meeting one week later.

Unable to keep her mind on business, Marcia continues to voice ugly speculations.

Fern is about to say, in front of witnesses, that he loves Lety; he is extremely frustrated that Aldo suddenly enters. He mutters boorishly: "Aldo, you're only here because Andreu is forcing you on us." Aldo and Fern cutely squabble until Lety cuts them off. Carla says she's used to the way men behave.

Tomas approaches Alicia, who is as usuallying blush to her boobs (does she not have nipples any longer, since her plastic surgery?) and asks if she's paid her bill and gotten her cellphone back -- cause he needs his. She says, "No, the debt is unpayable, I'll need yours for at least another month." "Uh, well and then you'll give it back?" "I'm certainly not promising anything, but I'll do what I can..."

"... Oh, and Tomas, I have something to ask. My father promised to help me buy a car as good as the one I had, the one I lost forever." (Sobs and hams it up.)

"Oh, no Alicititita, the car, my car, your car, our car, your car, is at your disposal when you need it." She pumps her fist in victory. "No, Tomas, that can't be true -- because I need my car ALL the time, to go to work to go home, to ..." "Alicia, what a lack of confidence! I'll bring you and pick you up!" She agrees, patting his wispy tuft, and he shouts quietly, I have a chica!"

Carla's leaving for NY in the morning. Omar wants to move in on her; Fern cuts him off. What did this mean: "He's worse then Kekim of the tele." ?? The two of them fight and fall over each other trying to grab the tapes to give to Carla. Fern (or maybe Omar) falls into the Rubbertree plant.

Lety and Aldo meet over her desk. She's wondering if, now that Fern is free, Carla will take him to live in NY?

Coincidentally, outside Conceptos Carla is strongly proposing this idea to Fern at the very same moment. Fern says, though: "I still love Lety." "That's not what I wanted to hear." "In other circumstances ... I would have loved making out with you, you're incredibly sexy ... Carla, you are the first woman in my life with whom I have been completely honest. Adios."

They kiss - a little more passionately than Fern had intended. Celso watches and then intervenes. Carla: "I'd rather have you as a friend than stop seeing you altogether." She leaves. Celso: "Man to man, who could turn that down?"

Lety write the usual in her diary, concluding: "I want to go back to the beach with Aldo. [Flashbacks to their moonlit horseback ride.] Things are simpler there."

Fern comes back in from saying goodbye, he's whistling and dancing. Omar whispers: "There's lipstick on your mouth..." He drags Fern into their den where he proceeds to interrogate vigorously as Martha crouches outside listening.

Fern repeats patiently, over and over, that absolutely nothing happened with Carla, not in NYC, not at her hotel the previous night, no champagne. Omar fantasizes about champagne, looking Carla in the eyes, kissing like crazy, peeling off her little clothes... "When we were little we told each other everything - when we played Doctor..." Fern ignores him and sweetly prunes his bonsai tree as Omar scolds.

When Fern continues to say NADA happened, Omar says, "She is too much woman for you!" "No, I may be a little out of the game, but that's not it. She's a good friend and that's all." "Has Luigi infected you?"

Fern talks about being in love and Martha really wants to hear who he's in love with, but Sara appears. The cuartel decides: for Lety's own good, they will cause her to think Fern's in love with Carla - so she'll then give up on him and give in to Aldo.

(Omar: "You haven't had sex with anybody since Lety, it isn't normal." And finally a moment of brilliant clarity: "All the world knows you love the gargolita, now you need to tell HER!" "I said I'd leave her alone." "How long? Until Aldo convinces her and carries her away?")

Alicia bursts into Marcia's office to demand a gossip debriefing and to increase Marcia's misery. Marcia is hopeful: Lety is jealous of Carla so she won't give Fern another chance - Marcia will be able to win him back. "Where's your dignity? He said he doesn't love you!" Marcia plots: "Lety will leave here with empty hands, she won't have the business and she won't have Fernando."

Tomas wakes Lety from her daydreams and drags her to his office to figure out if there's enough dough to pay the first installment. Guess what, there isn't! Because Luigi's production costs are ridiculously high! Lety blames herself...

As the cuartel stampedes off to the bathroom for yet another Code Red, Fern overhears them say: "... plan of Lety and Aldo!" So he crouches to listen at the bathroom door and the golden circle of goodbye catches him in that undignified position.

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Destilando Amor 04/02/07 "Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Worse"

We pick back up with Gavi in "Spagetti Warehouse" Paris, she tells the good hearted and not a perv, Don Venuto her tale of woe. Don V, offers her a place to stay, no strings attached. He shows her to a nice comfortable room, with a door you can bolt from the inside.

Meanwhile, over in London, Aaron makes his statement that basically if Rod doesn't like the ladies, he can explore other options. I know this is totally non PC, but seriously I was thinking the same thing last week, before he sowed his oats in the Agave Fields. Anyway the boys are wailin on each other, Rod is on top...choke hold and forces Aaron to cry "Uncle". Rod picks up his books (he always has books, he is such a good boy) and goes off to his room. Aaron punches a few pieces of funiture.

The next day, Don Venuto is walking down the street singing in Italian, he enters the Spagetti Warehouse & goes to the kitchen, Gavi is doing dishes and he presents her with a ticket to London, plus some dinero & I think some clothes. This guy is just too good. At the airport the Don tutors her on London, he tells her about the Universities, try Cambridge and Oxford and if that doesn't work, try Hogwarts. (nah not really). But she practices saying Cambridge & Oxford & our little heroine is ready to find her baby Daddy.

We also get some scenes of a gull flying around the Eiffel...subtle, the gull flying freely..okay I get it.

Now in Mexico Granny Pilar is having coffee with Roberto, he talks about the fine name of Montalvo in the tequila business, Granny Pilar plans to spend the rest of her life with the kids and grandkids, and maybe in her free time get a little work done around her eyes.

Now at an aeropuerto, Rod's padres, Felipe and Constanza, plan to get on the family jet. I think they are going to see Daniela in her big Broadway debut. We see the plane take off, it is an awesome jet, working in the aviation field I can tell you these folks are loaded.

Back to London, Gavi is in a University asking if they have a Rodrigo Montalvo registered there.
Meanwhile we are getting a PSA about give a hoot don't pollute, those crazy Europeans, the next thing you know, they'll try and tell us Global Warming is real. Anyhow, the receptionist is speaking English with a heavy Spanish accent, yet she is trouble communicating with Gavi. Finally Gavi gets it that Rod is not a student there. She goes out to the streets and wanders around, we see Big Ben & some statue I should probably know but don't. There is Rod like 1/2 a block behind her, he puts a pop-bottle in a recycle bin, & we get the second part of the PSA, they have one for plastics, one for paper and so on. Rod is walking around and feeling a strange sensation, hee hee hee, young love. Gavi is on one corner and he is on the opposite...she calls his name, Rod chuckles to himself, thought bubbles, "Now I hear her voice". I'm all like AssHat look up it's Gavi, like I didn't see this already and know what's coming. Once again physics and fate drop an Anvil on me, you can't change destiny. Gavi runs out in the street, she is barely missed by one car, & Smack...in a collision that would put Wiley Coyote to shame, she is flipped up in the air, somersauts a couple of times and smack back down on the pavement. Rod sees someone got hurt but he can't see her face. At this point three judges on the side walk give Gavi a 10, a 9.5 and another 10. Okay Okay I made that up, crowds rush towards her, one is a Nun.
This makes me very thankful that after the dark years of the Reformation, Catholicism was once again allowed in England. Rod is going to go look, but his phone rings. It is his Uncle, oh all the fates have turned against him, his parents have died in an airplane crash, Rod rushes off to return to Mexico, never knowing his gull just got her wings clipped.

In Mexico, Bruno hangs up with Rod, his wife Fedra, is doing some serious eye-rolling, she thinks this whole funeral thing is going to be a buzz-kill.

The cop on the street tells the Nun he thinks Gavi is dead.
Cut to the hospital...Gavi has multiple fractures, the doctor says she is strong, but he doubts she'll live thru the nite. If she does she needs an operation, there is a cervical problem. I'm not sure if they are referring to the female cervix or the neck, but whatever it is, the problem is muy grave.

Now we are in a funeral home in Mexico, Bruno & the lovely Fedra de Ville are there with Daniella. There are two coffins (open) and this really confuses me, cause it was a jet crash, I'm not really sure there would be much to put in them, but anyway, Daniella is quite overcome. Bruno is trying to steady everyone, Daniella, his mother, while his ever supportive wife, Fedra is smirking in the background.

Sofie, Rod and Aaron come in, Sofie and Rod proceed to go to the coffins crying and looking into the coffins. After some sobbing Rod says he is going to stay in Mexico. Fedra then pressures Aaron to say he too will stay. Minnnnnnnnerrrrrva comes in and Fedra, puts the heat on telling Minnie to get Aaron to stay. Now, Isadora, Minnie's bestest evah friend comes in and takes one look at Rod who is coffin gazing and is all like "Me likey, Me wantey", she tells Minnie she is hawt for the Rod. I just gotta say here, I find this Isadora chick rather disturbing, she is like what a Barbie doll would look like if she was life size and Mattel made the "Trophy Whore Barbie", her hair is kinda that creepy plastic looking hair too. Aaron remarks to his father that he wants to stay in Mexico and handle the business from DF while his father handles the New York side, his father say no forget it, it seems Bruno is a bit leary of Aaron.

Okay back at "Grey Coat Hospital", Gavi makes it thru the night, the Nun begs the doctor to operate. Whatever he operated on, it was a sucess & Gavi is rolled to a room with her arm and leg in casts.

Now back in Mexico they are putting these little wooden boxes on a shelf in a room. I don't know, maybe it is the remains, maybe that is all that was left...maybe those boxes were what was in the coffins. Ugggg I'll never know & I thought I paid pretty good attention during "Six Feet Under", but this one baffled me. I mean couldn't they have just buried them under the Tequila Tree with Gramps?

One month later......
Clara is visiting the Tequilla plantation, she has come to ask Roman if there is a letter from Gavi, but Roman says no. She can't understand why and Roman tells her Rod's parents died in a plane crash and he is in Mexico City...Oh No, Where is Gavi?

Clara goes to find the pervy creepy photographer that started this whole overseas debacle, she bangs on his door, but no answer. The nosy neighbor lady "Mrs. Roper", comes down and Clara asks her if she knows where the man is & that he set her daughter up as a model in Europe. Mrs. Roper laughs in her face and says her daughter is a "golfa" which I believe to indicate she is a whore & she is working at a whore house. Well them's fighting words, the fight is on, much to the delite of all the neighborhood nacos & nacas, who are watching. Two men try to separate them but to no avail.

The Nun is sitting by Gavi (who looks pretty good), but she has been in a coma for a month, the Nun calls her by her passport name which is like MariAngela or something.

Aaron and Minnnnnnerrrrrva are at what looks to be the "Club", she is yammering on about the wedding, Aaron looks so thrilled, Minnie tells him that ole Isadora is enamoured with Rod & Aaron is like good luck with that, she will only be disappointed and I'm not talking about his table manners, but Minnie isn't gonna take no for an anwser.

Back in Mexico, Rod is talking to Daniella & Sofie the parasite. Sofie says he has to be responsible for their fortune. She thought bubbling impregnate someone, anyone, I can't do manual labor...that reminds me of Mr. James, her english ex. Clara did ask Roman about going to see Mr. James, but Roman said he was all over the country side trying to learn the finer points of Tequila, maybe he is hold up in some sleazy hotel with a bottle and a chick named Rosa, after Sofie it would be a well deserved vacation.

Care of the land was passed from Felipe to Rod and he is going home in March to see to the land...a knowing glance passes between he and Daniella, she knows he is going home to see Gavi.

Aaron is trying to drag Rod out of the house, but Rod says no, but Aaron pulls him along, Minnie steps out of a car and Rod says hello, then the dead painted chick from "GoldFinger", steps out of the car, no I'm wrong it is Trophy Whore Barbie, or Isadora if you want to be PC. I dunno I think maybe Rod is a little impacto, but not much.

Back at the hospital Gavi opens her eyes, I think she sensed TWB was sniffin around her man.
She is dazed and confused, the Nun calling her by her passport name, starts asking questions..she remembers that she is in London and says she was looking for her baby Daddy, Rod...She remembers the accident..yep now I have seen it three times, she's up, a near perfect flip, ah she needs to work on that descent. The Nun tells her she has been out for a month. Gavi asks about the baby and the Nun tells her she lost the baby. Gavi wails in despair...
So let's see yes, in the matter of like a few months Rod has lost his virginity, grandfather, both parents, & his child & his beloved Gavi is missing...
The End

Then the recap before the previews and guess what...I get to see Gavi airborne again.

A special shout out to England and Universal Health Care...Good job well done.

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Acorralada # 55 – Friday, 3/30/07 Slapped by the Hand of Fate

We begin today’s adventures with a replay of the showdown between Marfil and Max in Emilio’s apartment. Max has had it. Faux Marfil, Real Marfil, it makes no difference. He doesn’t like any of her personalities. They’re all Bad News in FM Shoes. She will never forgive the offense, and he and Diana will Pay Dearly. After Marfil’s departure, Emilio comes out to apologize for having called her. And if Max wants to move in, he’s welcome to. Max would love to – the Mansion has become Hell.

We cut to Casa Soriano to replay the scene between Granny M and Gaby. Little Doormat is in tears. She didn’t have a good time playing at the beach with Kique because Larry showed up and spoiled everything. Granny M is all sympathy. Ay, how Gaby loves him! Ay, how she suffers because of him! Enter Diana, with a chipper “Buenas noches” and an extra spring in her step. She’s had a fabulous first day back on the job. She all but skips into the bedroom to say hello to Max, Jr. Diego is sitting glumly in his wheelchair. He doesn’t respond to her kiss on the temple. After she tells Little Maxi how she missed him, Diego asks if she’s going to tell him that she met his real father at the hospital. Diana is impactada.

At Bar de Paco, Ladies’ Night is in full swing. We know Caramelo suspects that Pancholón is unfaithful to her, yet she is happy that the place is full of potential rivals drunk enough to get a charge out of his grade-Z imitation of Sólo Para Mujeres. This has cat-fight written all over it. Enter Sylvia, Camila, Peyote, Barbie, and Midge. Sylvia’s watered-down Nina Hagen look easily takes the spotlight away from the other Sex Kittens’ more conventional office/church/nightclub attire. Paola takes one look at Pancho gyrating onstage, shaking his moneymaker, and she’s off. Before he knows it, she’s on him like a lamprey, kissing him with mad, passionate abandon. The crowd goes wild. Camila asks Nina/Sylvia where Paola knows that naco from. He’s a naco, but he’s smokin’! Sylvia replies. Camila recognizes him and his backup strippers as the jewelry smugglers they tried to sell Octavia’s bracelet to. She stomps out. Sylvia doesn’t care, she’s already partying down with a bottle of tequila. Close-up of Peyola and Pancho making out onstage, under a spotlight.

Back at Casa Soriano, Diego tries to continue his interrogation, but Diana isn’t in the mood for this argument again. Thank you, Diana. She’s going to change and bathe before dinner. Exit Our Heroine. Diego gets that “Damn, but it sucks to be me!” look on his face.

Close-up of Marfil dialing the phone. What do you know, she’s calling Diego to tell him that Max admitted to kissing Diana at the hospital. And we all know what serious business kissing is. Anyway, she goes on with the usual “they’re mocking us, etc.”, getting increasingly agitated. She calls Diana una cualquiera. Diego doesn’t like that, but Marfil doesn’t stop there. She proves to be as venomous as Faux Marfil, and after elaborating on Max and Diana’s “affair”, she ends by hissing that Diego’s waiting in vain for Diana’s love. All Diana feels for him is pity. Diego can’t take any more and hangs up. Pobre de Diego.

Back at Paco’s. Jorge, dressed like the leather dude from the Village People, watches the spectacle taking place onstage. He’s not digging it. Caramelo would die if she saw it. Cut to our three Sex Kittens. Barbie remarks that Paola has fallen low. Sylvia would love to fall so low, he’s yum-yum-yummy! (I hope that’s the tequila talking.) En fin, Pancholón finally manages to pry off his fierita. Is she crazy? he asks. (Well, she’s a fiera. She’s wild. She’s unpredictable. She’s on drugs.) Peyote grabs the mike. Isn’t her boyfriend super-cool? Caramelo, standing in the front row, does not think either one of them is. She’s on her own turf here and has no qualms about going after Peyola. It would be great if they did the whole cat-fight in slo-mo, with a Sinatra clone on the soundtrack: “Those fingers in my hair…That evil fiera glare…Those wicked teeth you bare…It’s bitchcraft…” As it happens, we get a second or two of slo-mo hair-pulling, then a few seconds of real-time hair-pulling, and then we go back to the Little House in the Barrio.

Granny M and the girls are sitting around after dinner. Granny asks why Diego didn’t eat. He was mad, Diana explains. He doesn’t want her going back to work at the hospital. Granny shows what an up-to-the-minute kind of gal she is as she dishes out sage reflections on a woman’s role in the 21st century. Gaby applauds her for being so moderna. And Gaby, being a strong, proud woman of the new millennium, knows from moderna. Anyway, Diana explains just about everything that transpired between her, Max, Marfil, and Diego that day. Little Doormat says that Marfil is as evil as Octavia. Diana’s not afraid. Gaviota taught her how to protect herself. Little Doormat wishes she could feel so sure of herself. She whines a bit about her confrontation with Pilar at the beach. Diana gives her a pep talk and promises she’ll always defend Gaby. Granny beams at her nietas.

Cut to the bar, where Peyola and Caramelo roll around the stage, cheered on by the delighted crowd. Pancho dances about indecisively, not really trying to break up the fight.

Emilio’s Bachelor Pad. Max is on the couch, having a glass of water. Enter Camila, Reina de la Selva. What’s Max doing here all alone? She sits right down and begins fondling him. She tells him she just came by to pick up a few things she’d left here. Max does a chorus of “Down with Love”. Camila responds with a chorus of “Let Me Entertain You.” She wants to help him forget Diana, show him that Camila’s the woman he needs. She kisses him, and he returns the kiss. Cocktail lounge music as Camila backs him into an armchair and climbs on his lap. They kiss and kiss and kiss.

They’re still at it when we come back from commercial. Then Camila takes a break to inform Max that she’s the only woman who can make him happy. Not Diana, not Marfil. Especially not that adulterous wife of his. Buzz-kill. Our Hero pushes her off. Where’d she hear that? he demands. Marfil has a lover: Andrés Davila, Camila replies. Close-up of Max. He wipes away her kisses and looks perturbed.

The Paola - Caramelo grudge match comes to an end when the combatants are separated by Pancho’s henchman/backup strippers. He calls for applause and the audience enthusiastically obeys. Jorge is disgusted. He takes off his leather-man hat and walks out.

In Paco’s office, Gaviota says that Pancho’s having a big success, judging by the screams out there. Before the conversation runs off into one of the usual dull ruts, they are interrupted by Good Studmuffin Jorge. Caramelo is beating some woman to death out there. Paco leaps up and rushes to the rescue of his little girl. Things aren’t looking so good for Pancho’s new business venture.

Out in the bar, Pancho’s holding onto Caramelo while one of his stooges holds Peyola. Her friends are immensely entertained by this. Paola breaks free and tells Pancho “Let’s go.” He’s still got his hands full preventing Caramelo from jumping her again. “Uh, I can’t right now,” he says. Sylvia is impactada. Exit Paola, followed by Barbie, Midge, and Sylvia, who does not take her astonished eyes off Pancholón, waving goodbye as she leaves. Paco and Gaviota have taken the stage, but they’re not planning a duet of “There’s No Business Like Show Business”. No. The show is over, everybody go home. The extras are ready for lunch and make only token angry crowd noises as they shuffle out.

We return to Emilio’s where Camila tells Max she caught Marfil going at it hot and heavy with Andrés in the library at the Irascible Soirée of Shame. Marfil, of course, will deny it if he asks her. The doorbell rings and Camila goes to answer. It’s Dr. Evil, here for a few drinks, per Camila’s invitation. He needs to clear…Then he notices Max. “I didn’t know you were here.” They size each other up and swagger towards each other.

We return to the bar. Caramelo is distraught. Pancho’s been cheating on her all along, blah, blah, blah. Paco is unable to control his outrage. He grabs his no-good son-in-law by the neck and twists his head. Why is Pancho toying with his daughter? Why is he making a fool of her? Pancho bares his teeth.

And back to Emilio’s we go. Dr. Evil starts in on Diana, but Max has heard enough calumny from Ignacio. Camila throws her two centavos in. Iggy and Max argue over whose crime is more heinous, his against Diana or hers against him. Max hopes that Dr. Evil loses his license. He’s too despicable to be practicing the noble profession of medicine. Max gives Ignacio the usual final warnings, pushes past him, and leaves. Dr. Evil can’t believe he lets Max get away with that. With Octavia being called a thief in all the papers, the prestige of los Irazabal is circling the drain. Camila’s not interested. She only cares about Max getting free of Marfil. He’s her ticket out of poverty. Ignacio tells her to quit dreaming. The Irazabal empire is going to topple. They’ll be poorer than rats. Camila is impactada.

At number 10 Lullaby Lane, Diana, still wearing the grubby pink scrubs she couldn’t wait to get out of a few hours ago, is at the sewing machine. Diego wheels up. She tells him she’s just helping Granny out. He replies that she loves to project the image of the good woman, ready to help everyone, but in fact she’s unworthy to be his wife. Diego’s holier-than-thou attitude and pathetic attempts to be the king of Granny M’s little castle are getting seriously annoying. Diana seems to agree; she keeps quiet and stares him down as he says he was blind about her. Gee, Chipmunk, ya think?

Aboard the Good Ship Lollipop. Our Sleazy Studmuffin and aspiring entrepreneur, clad only in a pleather Speedo, is getting his ear twisted by Capitán Paco. Standing by, hands on hips, is First Mate Jorge. Pancho denies that he cheated on Caramelo. So why’d that crazy woman call you her boyfriend? Jorge challenges. Pancho keeps lying and finally Paco lets him go, declaring that Ladies’ Night is permanently canceled. The look on Pancho’s face is one of “Aw, man, I can’t believe this s***!” He makes one last appeal to Paco’s wallet. No go. Pancho’s disgusted by his bad luck.

And now we go to Casa Irascible. Octavia’s starting to feel acorralada. Yolanda’s worried. Octav wants to withdraw all their money and put it into offshore accounts under a variety of company names so that the police won’t be able to trace it. The police aren’t stupid, Yolanda protests, they might have frozen the accounts already. Lady O doesn’t want to hear it. She refuses to lose all her ill-gotten gains and wind up in the streets. Yolanda points out that Gaviota’s not just avenging herself, she’s avenging her daughters. As she sees it, Big Sis has two choices: Turn herself in and confess to killing Reynosa, or make a run for it. Flee? repeats Octavia, as if this is a new idea. She cocks her head like Norma Desmond ready for her close-up. Escape? she says, widening her eyes. No, it was better when Gloria Swanson did it.

Out in the salon, Marfil is hanging out by the gold velvet couch. In the background we see Max going upstairs. Then, inexplicably, he is approaching Marfil. He asks if Dr. Evil’s chauffeur is her lover. Marfil is impactada.

Back at Casa Soriano, Diana and Diego argue about Max. She can’t prevent him from coming into the hospital. Diego demands that she quit and stay home to take care of him and the baby. His plan of mooching off an octogenarian seamstress and a supermarket cashier doesn’t strike me as being all that manly. Diana’s not impressed, either. She gives him a polite but firm refusal.

Time to check in on Caramelo. She’s in Gaviota’s dressing-room, weeping over Pancholón’s betrayal. Gaviota strokes her hair and lends a sympathetic ear. Then, qué sorpresa, she blames Paola. After all, the tainted blood of los Irazabal runs through her veins. She was born evil. That Pancholón is a petty crook who lets Pancholoncito do most of his thinking doesn’t factor into it. “He doesn’t love me. He’s never loved me,” Caramelo moans. She gets up and leaves. “Los Irazabal keep causing harm,” Gaviota mutters darkly.

Pancho is now wearing wannabe leather pants and swabbing the decks. He gripes about how his brilliant money-making scheme failed. The String Quartet of Doom plays a series of frantic riffs and we suddenly get an extreme, out-of-focus close-up of Caramelo in profile. She turns to the stage and tells Pancho to leave. She wants him out of the bar and out of her life. She wants a divorce. Pancho turns on the smarm and lies away about Paola, but Caramelo doesn’t believe a word of it. He swears it’s true. Swears by whom? God? The Virgin? Acorralado, Pancho takes the offensive. No need to exaggerate, it's not that big a deal, he doesn’t have to swear by them. Paco intervenes and tells Pancho to get out like Caramelo told him. Pancho turns his fiera glare on Paco, who says the next time his daughter sees him will be in divorce court. Caramelo screams at Pancho to go and he swaggers out, angry, dangerous, and takin’ his time. He’s baaaad. Caramelo becomes hysterical and goes running into Papito’s arms. She loves him, she lost him, she hates Paola; sob, scream, repeat. Pobre de Caramelo.

After commercial, we find ourselves in Paola’s boudoir with Silvia, Barbie, and Midge. Paola hates Caramelo. Silvia rattles off a lot of nonsense about what a hottie Pancho is. Barbie, the only one in the room with more than two I.Q. digits to rub together, points out that Paola obviously isn’t the only woman in Pancho’s life. Midge didn’t even know Peyote was in love with a MDH. Peyote takes offense at that. They’ve been an item for months and tomorrow they’re getting married. Silvis is impactada. Paola can’t – he’s a thief. But he’s hot. He’s a pretty hot thief. And so on. Paola insists that her wedding remain a secret. (Don’t bet your trust fund on it, Peyola.) Barbie can’t believe that she’s going to marry him when he’s been cheating all along. Paola doesn’t care. She’s the one who got him.

Downstairs Max is still trying to get an answer out of Marfil. She turns away, unable to lie to his face, and dodges the question by claiming that Camila fabricated the story to drive them apart. He warns her that if anything proves the story true, Marfil will be out of his life in less than two seconds. Our Hero also tells her about their dire financial situation, just to eliminate any mercenary hopes she might be clinging to, then leaves. Marfil is impactada.

While Marfil ponders the horrors of being Señora Muerto de Hambre, we go to the Other Little House in the Barrio. Pancho has told Lala that Caramelo wants a divorce. He tries to con her into believing that he’s the injured party. Lala’s heard too many versions of this tale over the years. She doesn’t buy it and warns him off Paola. He keeps lying and Lala gives up, rhetorically asking why the young folk can’t be responsible like they were in her day. Once she’s out of the room, Pancho unfolds his master plan for us. Since Caramelo is going to divorce him, he’ll go ahead and marry Paola. He’ll just keep it very quiet and no one will ever accuse him of bigamy. No. His fierita is the soul of discretion. He can count on Peyola to keep their nuptials a secret. “Two wives for the price of one,” he gloats. Awesome plan, dude.

Over at the House of Seven Gables, the family, sans Paola, is having breakfast by the pool. Octavia carps about her daughter’s absence. Yolanda attributes Peyote’s late hours to the rebellious phase she’s in. Whatever. Mamá wants to propose a family outing. What do you say we all go down to the factory? Won’t that be fun? Larry’s the first to demur. Octavia chastises him for preferring trivial pursuits like modeling and acting to soiling his hands in the service of her evil empire. They have to stand united against Fedora! What is it they don’t get? They’re on the brink of losing everything! Marfil, who’s been sullen and mute up till now, says that Octavia’s right. She needs their support. Maxi’s cell phone rings. It’s Emilio, who’s looking mighty dapper this morning. I particularly like his tie. But about that phone call. The judge is coming to put the lien on the perfume factory. Max puts on his lemon face. He hangs up. Lady O asks what’s happening, and he tells her. A surge of menacing music from the Orchestra of Doom and a close-up of Octavia. She looks away from Max. She blinks. Commercial.

We take a helicopter over TeleMiami and land at the perfume factory. We see Gaviota, Diana, Gaby, a bald guy who looks like a rising young gangster, and a guy with hair who looks like he manages a car dealership. Little Doormat’s whining. She doesn’t understand why they have to be there, blah, blah, blah. Gaviota hands her the “One day you’ll understand” line and Diana reminds Baby Sis how indebted they are to Gav. Enter Emilio, who announces the imminent arrival of Octavia and Sons. Gaviota trots out the “I am the owner of this company which Octavia stole from me” speech. Emilio is impactado. Gaviota is pleased. Diana has a coy, smug little smile on her face. Little Doormat looks afraid.

Back at Psycho Manor, it’s the crack of noon and Paola is finally up and about and planning ahead. She already has on a cocktail dress, strapless white brocade, which will save her the trouble of changing when cocktail time actually rolls around in six hours. René and Silvia are on the bed. He’s on his back, with his legs pointing straight up at the ceiling. Silvia has adopted a variation of the lotus position, hands raised prayer-fashion over her head. The wig du jour is purple, and she seems to have got her freakish, antennae-like false eyelashes from Don Fernando’s drag outfit. René and Silvia try to convince Paola that marrying Pancholón is a really bad idea. Peyote claims it’s her only way out of this mausoleum. And speak of the devil, here’s Pancho. No one says anything we haven’t heard before.

While Pancho’s claiming that there’s nothing between him and Caramelo, Lala’s apologizing to Paco. He and Caramelo have come to Casa Suarez to pick up her things. Paco tells Lala straight out that her son is a canalla. She knows that but makes a sad, ineffectual attempt to defend him, anyway. Enter Caramelo, tearfully pulling a suitcase. Lala makes several attempts to dissuade her but fails. Exit Paco and Caramelo.

Back in Peyola’s bedroom, Pancho’s giving them a song and dance about Caramelo-Who’s-Just-a-Friend. Silvia still questions his honesty and brings up the bracelet fracaso. Pancho lifts her up and sets her down behind him. This gives Our Comic Sex Kitten such a thrill that she forgets what a ladronzuelo he is. He’ll be waiting out in the car. He kisses Paola goodbye and leaves. René again protests this idiotic elopement with Pancho the Naco. But Peyola won’t be swayed. Once you go nac’ you never go back. This marriage is going to be “super nice.” She’s never coming back to this hell.

Yolanda and Octavia are downstairs. Yolanda’s oatmeal-colored, short-sleeved, shawl collar sweater is doing her no favors. She looks lumpy as she advises Octavia to calm down. Octavia’s pleated pink top is infinitely more flattering. She rages that Gaviota and her daughters won’t stop at putting a lien on the factory, they’ll go after everything: House, money, halter tops, everything. Yolanda bows her head in shame. She realizes Big Sis is right, we’ve only heard this from one character or another in just about every capítulo. Octavia then says the only way out is to take Big Doormat’s advice. What advice? Yolanda asks. Jail or flight? Octavia’s decided to take option B. If she weren’t so blinded by hate, Octavia might consider the rejuvenating effect that 20 years in Big House had on Gaviota. Seriously, Gaviota takes a great close-up. Her porcelain complexion is amazing. As for Octavia, well, it’s a good thing she can still blink. Otherwise we might be asking, “Is it Pond’s or is it formaldehyde?” But I’ve wandered way off topic here. Enter Paola, toting her suitcase into Pancho’s life just as Caramelo toted her suitcase out. Silvia, René, and Nancy aren’t far behind. And where do you think you’re going? Octavia snaps. Peyote tells her. So it’s official. All her children are mixed up with the Lower Classes, nurses and housemaids and nacos. Close-up of Octavia staring holes into Paola. Close-up of Nancy, impactada. Close-up of Silvis and René, mugging. Close-up of Yolanda, looking grimly from mother to daughter. Close-up of Paola, staring holes back into Mamá. Midshot of Octavia, still immobile. Commercial.

We return to the perfume factory. Everyone has moved into Octavia’s office. Beatriz announces los Irazabal. Enter Marfil, Max, and Larry. Gaviota wants to know where Lady O is. Indisposed. That, according to Gav, is a dumb excuse when there’s so much at stake. She introduces the judge. While el juez delivers an awkward, labored little speech, we are entertained by a round of close-ups: Marfil, Max, Diana, Larry, and Gaviota. The Drums of Doom sound ominously. The factory is declared the rightful property of Fedora Garcés. The String Quartet of Doom becomes loud, frantic. Marfil can’t stand keeping her trap shut another second. It’s impossible, she cries, you can’t – Max bellows at her to shut up. Diana chimes in. “You heard your husband. We’d appreciate it if you stayed on the sidelines.” Ooh, that hurt. As the String Quartet of Doom builds to a climax, los Irazabal gape at Our Heroine, impactados.

Back at the Mausoleum, Octavia and Paola are still arguing. Octavia snatches the suitcase away with such ease that I suspects it contains nothing but bikinis and lingerie. Yolanda tries to play peacemaker, as usual, while Octavia shouts that Paola must be high. Then she snaps at René and Silvia. And what are they doing here? They’re the witnesses for Peyola’s wedding. Octavia orders them to get out. More arguing. “You never loved me… I’ll never see your bitter face again…Better the wife of a MDH than life in a golden cage…” and so on until Octavia grabs her. I’m hoping for a real cat-fight here. That extended hair-tugging match earlier was nothing more than an amuse-bouche. No such luck. Paola’s outta here. Happiness is waiting for her, while a jail cell is waiting for Mamita. She leaves. René grabs her suitcase with a quick adios to his bomboncito. Octavia begins pacing like a caged tigress. Silvia almost leaves but just has to ask Lady O if it’s true that she’s a crook? Yolanda prevents Octavia from slapping our pert señorita, and Silvia dashes out. Octavia starts up about Paola but Yolanda’s got a better grip on reality all of a sudden. Octavia needs forget about Paola and get the hell out of Dodge.

We return to the office. Judge Villalobos explains that the factory isn’t officially Gaviota’s, but Max declares that neither he nor Larry will impede the return of anything belonging to her. Marfil can’t believe this and gets a Debora look on her face. But she says nothing. I almost like Real Marfil. Bueno, Max’s declaration isn’t enough for Gaviota. She wants an admission that Octavia’s a thief. Marfil can’t contain herself. What do Max and Larry have in their veins, how can they allow such insults to Octavia? Diana, crossing her arms just like Gaviota, gets in Marfil’s face. “I told you you have no say here. You heard your husband. Everything in Octavia’s name will go back to Gaviota, no matter how much it hurts you.” Close-up of Diana, happily in touch with her inner bitch. Close-up of Marfil, thwarted and hating her guts. Close-up of Max giving Diana the furrowed brow look while Larry stares off at Gaby. Close-up of Gaviota, quite pleased with Diana. Close-up of Diana, presumably staring down Max.

I fear that TeleMiami will soon be laid to waste by the Four Mothers of the Apocalypse: Octavia, Bruna, Gaviota, and Diana, a.k.a. Vainglory, Madness, Vengeance, and Stupidity. It is a sobering thought.

Roll credits

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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Duelo March 30 - I hate everybody

Alina enters the chapel and she and Emiliooo pray together.

Luba skulks around the house, then hides when a servant walks by. She finally gets into Thelma’s room. She looks all over the room, in the dark, for ‘something strong.” She finally finds Thelma’s hairbrush and takes some hair, saying to herself that this will do nicely! I don’t have any snarky comments on this because I think her putting a hex on Thelma is a great idea.

Soledad thinks that Don Max surely saw her, he’s going to tell Don Loco, Don Loco will come kill her, etc. This reminds me of a great story, if I may digress. Women (some I’m sure not all) can take the most innocuous thing and make a whole story out of it, like what Soledad just did. I had a female co-worker friend who had a huge crush on another guy we worked with. The guy had long hippie hair, we nicknamed him “Def Leppard.” It made sense at the time. Anyway, Def Leppard had just broken up with his girlfriend and my co-worker finally got him to ask her out. It went ok, but Def Leppard obviously wasn’t ready to dive into another girlfriend just yet. One day he wore a sweatshirt that said “Hawaii” on it. My friend freaked out. “One time he went to Hawaii with his old girlfriend! They must be back together! What if they are getting married?” The rest of us couldn’t believe our ears, all this from a SWEATSHIRT. From then on, anytime anyone got a little carried away, we’d bring them back down to earth with “helloooo – sweatshirt!” Anyway, Soledad’s little rant really seemed like that. Hellooo Soledad, sweatshirt!

Thelma flounces into her room, followed by Singing Aunt. SA asks Thelma if Angel died yet, Thelma said not yet. SA says great then, soon enough. Thelma thinks it is taking too long, SA asks if she’s going to kill him with her own hands? Thelma says no, some other way. Angel can’t hear anything upsetting or he’ll get worse, she likes that. Jeez this is getting so boring. I think today was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t looking forward to doing a recap. I have had it with this show. I hope to God there really aren’t 72 more episodes.

Gaspar can’t find Luba in the cave. He argues with himself if he should kill Thelma, he doesn’t want to so he can see his baby. His head hurts to think.

Vera and Nora talk about Gaspar, Nora really likes him. Great.

Emiliooo and Alina pray some more. For not being religious type, Emiliooo is laying it on pretty thick. He begs God to save Angel. He cries, aww he’s so sensitive. Whatever.

Nora reveals to Vera that she got busy with Gaspar and tells the story of how he got bumped in the head. Nora moons over Gaspar then goes to bed.

Soledad is now completely insane, she is talking to herself out loud. Don Loco is crazy, he’ll kill her, etc. There is noise and she yells out, “Who’s there?”

Emilioooo snuffles and cries some more, he tells Alina that they should keep praying. Alina stares at him like he’s a rock star. Woman wake up, he’s a f&%$^ng tool, get over it.

Max doesn’t think he saw Soledad, after all Don Loco has her locked up. The servant brings him coffee and updates him on Angel’s condition. He’s a little bit happy about it, it means the kids will have to go to Puebla and Max will be the only one in charge again.

Sexy Nurse Suzi is wearing a sweater today, but of course it’s a tight, thin, low cut, sexy sweater. Thelma is also staring at Angel, willing him to die. Orlando peeks in and tells Thelma to come, he needs to talk to her.

Soledad eats food that Adela brought her. Adela is telling her who is drunk and who is asleep. Soledad claims that things are ok with her.

Thelma can’t believe that Emiliooo is praying, she and Orlando agree that Alina is responsible for it.

Emilioooo and Alina finally stop praying and sit down. Emiliooo asks her if she loves him and he wants the truth. Um, hasn’t this been covered? LIKE A MILLION TIMES? Cripes these people can’t remember what happened five minutes ago. She doesn’t answer in .005 seconds so he says “Answer me!” Yeah Emiliooo women LOVE that. She says yes, she loves him, but they can’t be together because he is married. Yawn. I may have said that this show is boring me to death, but perhaps I had dozed off and just dreamed it. I’ll say it again – this show is getting more boring by the second. Aren’t things supposed to heat up as time goes on?

Rosita’s dad thought bubbles Don Max taking credit for raping Rosita as he gets drunk and cries. Rosita comes in and asks him what’s up. He’s upset for not standing up to Max, he thinks he’s a coward. Rosita tells him not to worry, she loves him as much as ever. Dad falls on the ground crying like a drunk cries, begging Rosita’s forgiveness.

Orlando tells Thelma that she’s stupid. Over and over. Well, you’re right Orlando, what can I say. Orlando tells her that she can’t be satisfied that Angel is in a coma, he could recover. Thelma says she knows what she has to do.

Emilioooo and Orlando are apparently too busy to ever work with their army unit, the rest of F-Troop doesn’t seem too happy about it. They come into one of the bedrooms commenting on how some here eat so well while others starve. Emiliooo’s name is thrown in with those who don’t do enough to help, along with Max.

Orlando pulls Thelma’s strings further, to the point Thelma stomps out and says that Angel has to die this very day. Orlando smiles.

Emiliooo and Alina walk through the house, Max sticks his head out and says he needs to talk with Emiliooo. Alina and her bigger by the day boobs just stand there.

Gaspar looks at the hairbrush, Luba takes it away and says “I told you, I found it. Someone must have dropped it.” Gaspar asks if she’s lying, she asks when has she ever lied to him? She orders him off to sleep. She thought bubbles how tomorrow she’s going to do whatever it is she’s going to do with Thelma’s hair.

Adela and Nora both can’t sleep so they end up in the kitchen drinking tea. Won’t that keep them up? Adela tells Nora about Soledad, they also agree that Don Loco is nuts. What the hell is with these people? Where have they been for the last three years?

Don Loco wakes up in his bed and has vision after vision of Jose and Soledad together. He says to nobody that the only way Soledad will forget about Jose is with death. He decides he’ll have to kill her. I love how in every vision Jose is grinning like "Hell yeah, I am hitting that every day!"

Alina talks to a servant, I think this is Vera. Vera tells Alina how Emilioooo has changed so much lately, Alina says Angel’s illness has taught Emiliooo some humility. Yawn. Oops sorry about that. Alina says Emilioooo is suffering so much, thinking that Angel might die. EMILIOOOO is suffering? What? He’s not the one in a coma! Emiliooo is the one who has hot chicks all competing over him. The only way he is suffering is because he is such an idiot. Alina and Vera say Angel is such a great guy, gosh I hope he doesn’t die.

A bunch of people walk with lit candles into the church. They leave their candles on an altar. What is this? We get no explanation.

A variation on the night time conversation, the difference is that this time it is in the barn. No wait, he’s not here to talk this time, he grabs Soledad by the neck and starts strangling her.

Max wants to talk about funeral arrangements for Angel, Emiliooo tells him to shut up because Angel is still alive. Emiliooo hopes for a miracle, Max says they don’t exist. Emilioooo says he’s waiting for a miracle. You already said that Emiliooo, we get the point.

Don Loco continues to choke Soledad. She calls him “Mi Amor” and he lets up and has an orange flashback of he and Soledad kissing. He says he can’t do it and leaves the barn. Soledad, surely, will stay right there, because she is infected with Sierra Escondida Stupid Idiot disease, waiting for the next time he tries to come kill her. I hate all these people. Even the victims are now choosing to stay victims.

Luba carries the mysterious Don Loco box. She says something nasty about Thelma then asks the virgin for forgiveness. She has a long conversation with the virgin about everything and everybody. She has an orange flashback of herself waiting outside with the box and Don Loco riding up on a horse. She says she’s there waiting for him, it’s about his mother, he says he doesn’t want to know anything about her. He says she did something he can never forgive. Luba says nobody told her anything about anything. Don Loco orders her to never mention his mother again, she says fine. He asks what is in the box, Luba says it is a story of life and death that he doesn’t want to know anything about. She turns around and leaves. Back in the present she thinks that if Don Loco knew what was in the box, he would never forgive her and he’d run her off.

Alina is STILL sitting and waiting for Emiliooo and Orlando approaches. He tries to sympathize with her about Angel. Orlando, like Max, emphasizes how Angel is as good as dead. Orlando tells her to trust in him and treat him like a friend.

Thelma comes back in and asks how Angel is, the doctor says he’s doing a bit better, surprisingly. He doesn’t want to say anything to Emiliooo to get his hopes up just yet, though. The doctor says he’s done all he can do, it’s up to God now. The doctor tells Suzi to come with him, she needs to rest. Suzi says she wants to stay with Angel. Thelma tells her to leave, she herself will watch Angel for a while. Thelma sits on the bed next to Angel. He has some thoughts about that he heard what they said before, he’s not in a coma, something like that.

Luba snores away, holding the box in her sleep. Gaspar sneaks past her to get out of the cave, but thoughtfully stops to tell nobody, out loud, that he’s sneaking off to go see Thelma.

Orlando says he can help Alina and her mother. He holds her hand and promises to help. Emiliooo comes up and asks what he is promising her, Orlando jumps up and he and Emiliooo puff their chests out at each other. I’m surprised they don’t both keep pissing on Alina’s leg, they are each so intent on marking their territory. Angel would be pisser #3 if he could get out of bed. Alina doesn’t help at all by looking completely guilty of something.

Thelma puts on a little one woman play, she cries that she doesn’t know what to do, Emiliooo killed Flor! No reaction from Angel. Did she think he would just pop up out of bed, or what?

After the commercial, we get to hear Angel’s deep inner thoughts. “She thinks I’m dead. I’m not. Alina is suffering.” It kind of sounds like a Mexican Incredible Hulk. “rrrRRrr Hulk not dead.” Thelma keeps it up, she says that Emilioooo will blame her and take her jewels, oh no! Emiliooo killed her! Angel doesn’t wake up.

Emiliooo and Orlando snipe at each other. Boring. Orlando offered help, Emiliooo thinks he’s up to something, they yell at each other, piss piss. Emiliooo tells Orlando that Alina doesn’t need any more help. Orlando just stands there like a fool. Alina, of course, says nothing, while these two morons decide what she does and doesn't need. Well, maybe that's ok, when she does speak up she always volunteers to go back to wherever she was most recently locked up.

We have a cloudy picture of Don Loco strangling Soledad, then Adela calling him a killer. It’s Don Loco having the vision. He is mad at himself for doing something so stupid. Just that one thing, DL? Really?

Soledad the genius says again “He’s crazy.” I hate all these people. She whines for a bit, out loud, to nobody. She is sure he will kill her.

Thelma says it is easier than killing a fly. Angel thinks that Alina can’t be dead. As Thelma leaves, Emiliooo enters with Alina. Alina goes and whispers to Angel, so of course he knows now that she’s alive. Alina cries a bit, Angel wakes up. Emiliooo, who is a GENIUS!, says “He’s out of his coma.” Hey check it out Emiliooo, the sky is blue.

Gaspar, who snuck out in the middle of the night, is now running along in broad daylight. He has pain from his injury but must soldier on to see his munequita!

Angel says he feels fine. Sure he does. Whatever. Emilioooo says he’ll get the doctor. Emiliooo asks Angel AGAIN how he feels. Give him a break you idiot. Angel says he’s tired. And a little upset. Emilioooo tells Angel how they were praying for him in the chapel. Is he trying to take credit for curing Angel? Angel says he is a but upset over something Thelma said. Emiliooo confronts her. She just looks irritated.

Don Loco is leaving, he doesn’t want Sergio to come along. DL says something about locking Soledad up tight while he goes to Mariana’s wedding. Adela tries to sneak past in the background but Don Loco stops her and wants to talk.

Thelma says she doesn’t know what Angel is talking about, Angel says she said Emiliooo killed Alina. Thelma makes some excuse, Angel says ok fine, whatever. Thelma acts indignant and leaves the room. Back in her own room, she curses Angel for causing her to possibly lose everything. Then she sees Gaspar out the window and curses some more.

Don Loco tells Adela to make sure Soledad doesn’t escape. Good thing he clarified that, I didn’t realize from being locked in a barn that she was supposed to be a prisoner. Adela asks Don Loco if he knows the guy Mariana is going to marry, DL thinks he’s just some guy looking for his sister because she’s rich. Adela says he might be a nice guy. DL won’t hear it. He says if the guy is a creep or whatever, he’s going to take his sister away someplace. Oh GREAT. Another prisoner.

Thelma gripes about Gaspar. Nothing stops him!

Alina tells Angel she’s so happy that he is ok. Emilioooo again says he’s going for the doctor, this time he actually does. Alina tells Angel there have been two miracles. The first is that Emiliooo is closer to God, the second is Angel coming out of the coma. Yes, Emilioooo is closer to God. Right. I won’t get into a religious discussion, but one tearful, desperate, session of praying makes him closer to God? Whatever. Angel is tired of crisis after crisis. WE ARE TOO, ANGEL. You are preaching to the choir. Alina says Emilioooo will take care of them and everything. Because he has done such a good job already? Sure. Angel says miracles do exist.

I thought Emiliooo was going for the doctor, instead he’s telling Max all about Angel waking up. Is this how he takes such good care of everyone? Not ever getting a doctor when he should? Max doesn’t look happy, though he claims to be. Emiliooo says he’s going to tell everyone everywhere that Angel is awake, they’ll all be so glad. Yes, I’m sure the will be, because news that the rich owner is awake will make them forget all about the fact that they are starving. Oh, and how about that doctor? Max looks very displeased about all this. “How good for Angel, but how bad for me!”

Thelma goes outside to find Gaspar. Doesn’t he know that he’s not supposed to come here? He keeps talking about his kid, she tells him to shut up. He wants a kiss but instead she yells at him, “I could kill you right now, but I won’t. Understand, you can’t come here?” All he does is ask for another kiss. She says not here, so he says where? One of the stablemen notices them talking and starts to listen in. Thelma tells Gaspar she’ll look for him later. Gaspar doesn’t believe her. The stableman is impactado, Gaspar and Thelma?

The doctor showed up, no thanks to Emiliooo. Sexy Nurse Suzi came back too. I wonder if she leaves that little nurse hat on, you know, all the time? The doctor says he can’t believe it. The doctor says now they REALLY need to go to Puebla to see a specialist and find out just what is up with Angel. Suzi says she’ll call doctor somebody or other, he’s the best, she’ll try and get an appointment. Angel starts to sulk and says he doesn’t want to talk about it now. The doctor tells them all to get out and let Angel rest.

Thelma tries to get Gaspar to leave, he doesn’t want to. She says they can’t talk here, they might be discovered. She tells him to meet her at the abandoned cabin at noon. The stableman hears everything. Gaspar hops off, happy. The stableman stares after them as they leave. He has a shirt unbuttoned down the front and a horrible moustache, he looks like a Mexican Larry from Three’s Company.

The soldiers are trying to help the poor people who were displaced by the storm. Emiliooo tells them that Angel is better. They pretend they care.

Mexican Larry is telling Vera what he heard. Is this her husband? I think I saw him before but I didn’t recognize him. She tells him not to go to the cabin at noon. He says he’ll be careful. Right.

The soldiers ride through the very pretty wilderness, it makes me want to go on vacation. The soldiers are all going back to Puebla, Emiliooo tells them good luck. The doctor is waiting, he tells Emiliooo that Angel needs to go to Puebla, but not quite yet, after he has recovered a bit and can travel. Emiliooo thanks the doctor for the medicine he gave Angel, the doctor says he didn’t do anything, it was a miracle. The now holy man Emiliooo throws up a quick prayer of thanks to God for the miracle.

Alina is in the chapel, she also thanks God for the miracle.

Emiliooo becomes more holy by the second as Alina joins him. Emiliooo goes from holy to lustful in one second, he lunges open-mouthed at Alina and they make out.

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Destilando Amor 3/30/07: Hooking-up in Paris

After finishing the great photo shoot, Rolando tells Gavi to get her birth certificate and he'll get the people in Paris (capital of France) to arrange for her passport and they'll fly her there.

Ofelia tells Roman that she thinks Gavi is pregnant from Rodrigo and she is certain he's such a good man that he'll want to know about the child. Roman says he's certain when they tell him he'll do the right thing and not abandon her.

When Gavi leaves to get her birth certificate, Rolando makes a call to Colette, the contact in Paris (capital of France), and tells her he hooked a country girl for her and as beautiful as she is they're going to be covered in cash.

Gavi returns with her birth certificate for Rolando. He gives them a big line about how she'll be signing a contract with the biggest and most respected modeling outfit in Paris (capital of France) and she'll make $5,000 Euros/month (60,000 pesos). The women are beside themselves with excitement. So Gavi must meet Rolando the next day at the airport in Guadalajara. He tells her to buy a dress for the flight to show off her figure "to get her through immigration and customs" easier.

That night Clara realizes she's going to be alone now. Gavi promises to write to her in care of Roman since that's the only person they can trust to keep her mail. Gavi also promises to send back half her salary once she's situated so her mother can finally stop working as a day-laborer.

When Gavi and Clara get to the airport at Guadalajara, Rolando is waiting with her passport. The picture is right, but the name is changed to "Mariana Franco Villarreal". He makes up a story that it sounds more sophisticated and is sure to get her more work. Then he introduces Colette to them and Clara tells her she's relieved to find her chaperoning her daughter--not knowing she's actually sending her little lamb into the lion's den.

Clara gives Gavi a small roll of Mexican bills to help avoid "hardships" while Rolando warns Colette she'll have to use her powers of persuasion to get Gavi to comply since the girl is skittish, strong-willed and unruly and she has no idea what this job really is all about.

Back over the ocean in London, capital of England, Rod continues to listen to Gavi's cassette tape and to pine away for her day and night. Aarón comes by and says if he didn't know about his "situation" he'd think Rod's problem was a woman. "But, hey, cheer up, Cuz."

At the hacienda, Clara tells Roman and Ofelia about Gavi's new job and why she's gone to Europe alone and that she'll be writing letters to her there. Roman promises to keep them for her. She tells them after she finishes at the grain harvesting she'll be back. Ramon tells his wife that she shouldn't worry about Gavi. She's cool-headed and strong, but once she gets an idea in her head she cannot be stopped.

Gavi and Colette finally arrive at their destination. It's a huge mansion. Up in Gavi's room, Colette pulls out a beautiful black and gold lamee dress for her to put on later that night. First she should take a bath, relax and sleep, though. She can sleep as long as she likes. (Wrong!).

Gavi thinks she's hit the jackpot when she sees those gorgeous digs and the clothes. She goes to sleep, naively thinking again about how happy and excited Rod will be when she finally tells him about their child.

Late in the evening Colette brings Albertina, one of the Latina working girls, to wake up Gavi and get her dressed. Upstairs in the dressing room, she hears one of the other Latina girls talk about the beautiful necklace one of the men just gave her after doing all the crazy little things he asked of her.

All of a sudden it hits Gavi that she's actually in some high-class hooker hotel. She immediately runs down to complain to Colette, who turns out to be the madame there, and who has already offered her to a hell of a high-paying client, not to mention the fact that she's "invested a fortune" (yeah, sure, one plane ticket and a measely finder's fee) to bring her over to Paris (capital of France).

Gavi tells Colette she's not going to sell herself to any guy because, well, because...... she is pregnant! Colette tells her fine, she'll take her to a doctor in the morning to get rid of the baby and then calls the guards to take Gavi away and lock her in her room. Gavi thinks fast and pretends to give in to Colette. She goes back up to supposedly finish getting herself dressed, but instead Gaviota throws on her jeans and boots and runs to the terraced rooftop, 6 stories up, looking for a way to escape. (She's named after a bird, so think wings, okay?)

She hides from the guards and Colette by hanging, untill they leave, on the outside of the guard rail that's covered over by bushes . Once they are gone she climbs back over it and she finds the entrance to the laundryroom. She takes a load of sheets from in there and turns them into a long rope, then escapes down it onto the street below. Eventually, worn out from running, she spends the night asleep on a parkbench.

Rod can't sleep again and tries to write her a love letter. We are treated to another sappy daydream about the two of them together and ending up in passionate kisses.

The next morning Gavi traipses one heck of a long way through the streets of Paris, "capital of France", and we get to see glimpses of Monmartre, The Louvre, The Arc de Triomphe, the Champs Elysees, The Trocadero and the Eiffel Tower. (Yep, we're definitely in Paris, "capital of France".)

Somewhere along the way, pregnant, and so, no doubt dying from hunger (as anyone of us who's ever been pregnant can appreciate) she starts to buy a ham and cheese crepe (a difficult scene for me to watch, I gotta admit). However, they won't accept the Mexican pesos and refuse to sell her anything to eat after all. (Unfortunately, street-smart as she is, she doesn't stop think to stomp her foot and ask them then how can somebody trade them for French money --or at least to go look for a bank. Aparrently back in P/pueblo she never heard of banks and bankers who know all sorts of things to do with money.)

Rodrigo calls up his little sister, Dani, to congratulate her on the premier of her Broadway show. Dani jokes to him about Aarón's designs on their granddad's fortune, but Rod doesn't seem worried since he knows Aarón doesn't know the first thing about running the hacienda. She also mentions that their Uncle Bruno and nasty Aunt Fedra will be attending her premier.

Nasty Aunt Fedra, it seems, is a snob and hates the fact that their poorer country relations are allowed to use her family's corporate jet. Aparrently Bruno sees this as an endearing trait in his wife and gives her a big smooch and hug for it.

That night Gavi walks by a restaurant and nearly passes out from her hunger and nausea. The Italian restaurant owner starts asking her in Spanish what the matter is and she bursts out in a fit of crying what all had happened to her that day. He feeds her and she tells him her story about being tricked into coming to Paris, "capital of France", to the bordello and how she had escaped from it. She tells him she needs to get to London, "capital of England", to find her Rodrigo, the father of the baby she's carrying. The restaurant owner wants to take her to make a statement to the police, but she refuses because she doesn't want anymore trouble. (Smart move, considering she doesn't have any papers now.)

Across the channel in London, capital of England, Aarón comes back to their apartment late and asks Rod to have a drink with him. Rod says no he's tired and isn't interested in drinking right then. Aarón gets bugged and says Rod has really changed towards him, and he wants to know what he did to make him act so distant.

Rod says they just see the world differently, but it is no big deal. Aggravated, Aarón starts needling Rod about his masculinity again and says, well, maybe since Rod's failed with women it's made him look for other "alternatives." Rod finally has had enough after hearing that and slugs his cousin. The two of them start wailing on each other.

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