Friday, May 25, 2007

Zorro - May 24, 2007 - Olmos preps to spy on MA; Dena tells off Monty at gravesite; Alej confides in Dolly

* Dena confronts Montero at graveside funeral for Esmy. Alej and Fer try to stop her - she continues her rant and calls Montero an assassin.

* Esmy gives herself a peptalk in her cell. Someday she tells herself Diego will rescue her and when she's free she will yell out "Esmeralda Sanchez de Moncada is alive!"

* Dena continues her tirade against Montero at Esmy's gravesite. She demands the coffin be opened - no one moves or says anything - She cries as she drops beside the coffin, Alej kneels beside her. She continues to yell and cry out her disillusionment and hurt; she is disgusted and hates Montero and tells him that one day he will be punished for all the hurt and misery he's caused. Everyone just stands and stares.

* At the leper colony/hospital, Agapita finds Lila - Lila tells him her concerns over SK and her depression, family ties, questions about why Montero would be after such a nice person like SK.

* In MA's bedroom, maid puts a yellow ball gown in the closet and leaves. Olmos comes out from hiding and collects up an assortment of items from the room. He wonders how to get MA's tears. He leaves.

*Gypsy fortune teller sits at her table, short man is with her, she talks to herself and him about Olmos and his infatuation with MA, her tears will be his condemnation.

* Olmos returns to MA's bedroom - he starts to realize something and takes a good look around - he is overjoyed when he discovers that MA and Diego don't share the same bedroom OR THE SAME BED! Olmos jumps up and down on the bed in glee, he then realizes how thin the wall is between his bedroom and hers.

* Auggie stands at cell door and watches Esmy sleep inside her cell. He realizes that he needs to follow Pizarro's orders (keep her safe and alive).

* Agapito returns to Lila in the colony courtyard - he went to SK's room but she's not there - he's very worried where she wandered off to - Lila is also worried about SK, she's so depressed; he starts to wonder what he is going to do now.

* At the hacienda living room, Dena apologizes to everyone especially Diego for her loud outburst at the gravesite earlier. Diego forgives her and consoles her. Alej, Diego and Marquesa discuss Alej's plan to use armed force to remove Montero from office right away. Marquesa advises that is a really bad idea, he may have the backing of the Spain underworld, it is best to wait for word that Mercedes has returned to throne in Spain.

* Montero is at his desk, laughing at the spectacle Dena made at the gravesite and the de la Vega family reaction to Esmy's death. Pizarro gives some advice not to push Dena to hard. Montero doesn't really care, he wants to continue with the torture and putting Esmy through hell. Pizarro asks about the Duke - Montero will handle the situation on his own without assistance from Duke. Pizarro thusly reminds Montero that Esmy is pregnant.

* Diego stops by the local cafe - Raquel passes along her condolences - Diego asks her to bring some wine over to the table; he sits down with Garcia who is enjoying his meal. Raquel brings the wine and leaves. Diego ask Garcia about the guard changing times at the prison. Garcia gives him all the information.

* Agapito lays on sofa sleeping. Pizarro sneaks in and pokes Agapito with his sword. Pizarro asks him about what happened with SK, giving Esmy's death as an example. Agapito nervously explains. Pizarro tells Agapito they are going to dig up the coffin of SK. Pizarro leaves; Agapito prepares for the worst that can happen - Pizarro kills him by chopping off his head.

* Lila finds SK out walking around the colony courtyard at night. SK opens up about her depression and sadness over the loss of her daughter, people trying to kill her. Lila tells her to be strong, stay positive - SK misses her daughter, feels so alone. Lila says she's not alone - SK thinks about the gypsies she grew up with - Lila says to fight for them - SK wonders where they could be now.

* At the gypsy camp, Azucena is sitting with depressed Renzo. Sor Loca and Laisha walk over to join them. Sor Loca sits down and tells them about the slave trader and how brave and heroic Renzo had been through the whole ordeal. Sor Loca asks Azucena and Laisha about gypsy life. As Laisha starts to answer in a short, rude way, Azucena stops her. Sor Loca walks over to Camba, who is sitting in the back of a wagon, she assures him that the gypsies are good people, everything will be alright.

* Dolly sleeps near the bed - Dena has a dream about Regina, Regina gives Dena the message that she shouldn't be scared, when the light comes, Regina will be there to guide her across the great river. Dena mumbles and wakes up with a fright - Dolly runs over and asks what's wrong. Dena tells her she had a premonition dream.

* Alej opens up to Yumi in the informal sitting area. He tells her about his confusing feelings for her and Regina. Yumi says she understands - Alej thinks he is putting her in a awkward position, between his memories for her sister and his wife Dena. Yumi says don't worry, she understands he is married and loves his wife - He still feels guilty - she tells him she is there because she chose to be (her life, her decisions) she leaves he is bewildered.

* MP walks outside alone at night near the bonfires in the road. Fer stalks her from behind. She stops, turns around - he wants to talk - she doesn't want to talk, or be anywhere near him - he still tries to talk to her about his feelings and what he perceives to be hers. MP is thinking his impatience and nonacceptance of her new position is due to Esmy's death - he says that has nothing to do with it, she wasn't his daughter only a bastard he raised. MP can't forgive him for all the pain and heartbreak he's caused her and her family. She says he's condemned for life for the violence, and that everything he's been doing has only confirmed that she made the best decision possible. He still adores her anyway, and won't renounce his love for her, especially when he sees that special glimmer in her eyes - she's mortified by the comment and walks away.

* Dolly visits Alej in his office. Dolly sees he's worried about something - he invites her to have a drink with him - she's excited and sits down. Alej confesses his feelings for Regina and Yumi and Dena; Dolly is shocked to hear that because of ancient native mexican custom, he is married to Yumi - Regina's sister. Alej then shocks Dolly some more by revealing that he slept with Yumi on his wedding night with Dena.

* Yumi sits on trunk in her room, giving herself a peptalk about keeping her feelings for Alej in check.

* Dolly scolds and makes Alej feel lower than a toadstool about being unfaithful to Dena on their wedding night. Alej is very sad and feels really guilty for it, and keeping it a secret from Dena. Dolly says he should feel guilty. Alej is suffering - Dolly gives him some advice and consolation.

*In Z-cave, D and B look at the maps of Callao prison and discuss their break-in and rescue plan.

* Auggie tells Esmy about Dena's outburst at the cemetery for Esmy's funeral. Auggie tells her that Diego and MA were inseperable the whole time. Esmy is curious and asks about MA and Diego - Auggie tells her he's not sure, it's all confusing, and that MA is pregnant. Esmy's heart sinks.

* Olmos drills a hole in the wall from his bedroom. He has his own little peephole into MA's bedroom. He wonders where his little love bug is right now.

* MA and Montero are having a romantic secret meeting in Montero's place. They laugh about Esmy's funeral and the family reaction. He kisses her and she rips open his shirt - they start to make out when MA looks down at the big "Z" on Montero's chest - she burst out laughing with the thought that he was one of Zorro's victims. Montero is disgusted and hurt and pushes the laughing MA out of the room. Montero grumbles to himself, "Maldito Zorro!"

* Esmy is consoling herself about MA and Diego having a baby together - She thinks he won't come to rescue her now.

* Bernardo and Diego/Zorro on horseback at edge of forest outside the Callao prison. Last minute recap of their search and rescue plan.

* Garcia comes out the front entrance and starts babbling and doing calisthenics to try and distract the soldiers - the soldiers don't move a muscle.

* Montero rattle gate of Esmy's cell - Wake Up Sunshine! This ain't no hotel! No rest for the wicked. Montero demands an answer to his most pressing question, Who is Zorro? Esmy refuses to answer - Montero won't accept the answer - he pressures for Esmy to respond - Esmy says you can threaten and torture me and tell my family I'm dead, I still won't say anything. Montero orders Auggie to take Esmy to the torture chamber. (AY NO!)

* Pizarro supervises Agapito digging up SK's coffin. When the coffin is uncovered, Agapito tries to stop and get out - Pizarro orders him to open the coffin. Nothing inside - Pizarro is stunned and orders Agapito to tell him what he did with SK (where is she now!)

* Garcia does his swordsmanship practice as he continues to ramble by a fire. Guards march past - at a safe distance, Diego in soldier uniform breaks away from the guard and enters the prison. (UY!)

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Acorralada #92 Wednesday 5/23/07 In which Pancholon starts a new service business

At the local jail cell, Fedora is talking to Paco about her “guilt.” She insists that she is the real killer. The truth won’t be a secret for long with this crowd and these scriptwriters.

Yolanda and Emilio discuss how tomorrow they will take Max’s bandages off.
Yolanda is wearing a lovely harvest gold cowl-neck sleeveless sweater. I’ve always found the sleeveless turtleneck to be one of the most baffling fashion concepts, as well as one of the most unattractive. Harvest gold, welll, there are no words. Rene arrives and wants to talk to Yolanda. After they get rid of Emilio, Rene says he has only three words for her—of course, yo te amo.


In the cell, Diana comes to see Fediota. She is so happy to be able call her mama.


Iggy and Silvia are talking at his pad. Silvia is wearing an ugly house coat with a blue turban. She looks like Ethel Mertz as visualized by Timothy Leary. She is looking for money for her date with Pancholon. Iggy suggests she sell her wigs--she'd get a small fortune for them.




Pancho and his mother argue about how he's too macho. He insists he is entitled to two wives.




Lala thinks Paola is going to come to a tragic end, and it will be his fault.






Iggy is now marveling about how Silvia plans to pay a man to sleep with her. She thinks she's crazy, but she says it's worth it. Iggy says it's great for her but not for the guy.






Pancho is now telling Paola about the wonderful vacation they will have in Orlando. Where are they going to get the money? Why from his "date" with Silvia, of course. Thankfully, he doesn't tell Paola this.




Iggy and Silvia continue to rehash the date with Pancho.






Rene continues to tell Yolanda how much he loves her. She says their love is "impossible."






Now Marfil sees Bruno begging in the street. Bruno has become a complete wreck. She looks worse than Granny M did when she was a homeless woman. Bruno is holding up a tin cup.






Diana tells her mom that Gaby told her the truth. Fediota says that she was waiting for the right time to reveal her identity. Puh-leeze. Diana wants Fed to use the lawyer that Paco is willing to hire. There is a long talk about a prueba de parafin, which literally means "wax test," but seems to be whatever test they do on firing the bullets. It seems the test doesn't show that Fed is guilty, but she wants to take the rap because she can't stand the idea of Gaby being in prison.





At the hospital, Max and Camila are talking about how it's too bad he can't see. He rehashes the whole twin imposter story for her--evidently she was the last to know.


He says that Debora was worse than Marfil. Camila says "don't be blind." Oops!



He now starts to defend Marfil--she was a victim of her sister, he wants to go back to her.


Diana is now back at the factory. She discusses with Caramelo how Caramelo knew about Fed being their mother. Caramelo is sorry but she had to keep it a secret. Diana slips in almost revealing that Gaby is the killer. Yolanda comes in.




Silvia is surveying her wig collection when Pancho calls. He's looking for a good location por pecar. (sin). He asks if she already has the money, but she says she's still getting it together.




Yolanda wants Diana to be present for the big bandage removal. Cut to the hospital where the doctor is unveiling Max. Diana, Marfil, Larry and Yolanda are all there. The orchestra of doom plays. Can you see me? Yes! I can see. Diana is standing next to him and she tells him she is so happy. Marfil is next to her, and she is miffed. Now Marfil edges Diana out of the way, and calls him "mi amor" and kisses him. Now it's Diana's turn to look miffed, but she just looks glassy-eyed.





Kike and Gaby are strolling outside. She seems upset. What a genius. She reveals to Kiki that she killed someone! And Fedora is taking the rap. He says don't worry--she will be fine with her self-defense claim. Everything will be all right. But guess what--Diego overhears.


Octavia comes to taunt Fedora at the jail. Amazing how they just let anyone in to visit. Anyway, this scene is too tedious and I didn't even pay close attention, so I won't recap in detail. You can guess.



Camila comes home, and Silvia tries to butter her up. Camila is wise to her ways and realizes she wants something. Yup, chimes in Iggy--3,000 bucks. For paying some guy to do her the favor of taking her virginity. This is just beyond gross, folks. You have to ask, why would Pancholon sleep with Silvia but not be willing to give his brother a massage? Which is worse? Just asking . . . Well, anyway, maybe he plans to take the money and not do the deed.




At the hospital, Marfil asks everyone to leave her alone with her husband. Diana is miffed, and Marfil smiles. Max tells Marfil that he is sorry Diana is upset. Marfil says she'll fix everything. Marfil then goes out and talks to Diana. She wants Diana to stop her dream for having Max. Now that Marfil is back, she should have him because she's the real spouse, and not the imposter, and she spent two years in a bed unconscious (but she belongs in a manicomio on the middle of the jungle). Diana tells her that she and Max really love each other and they have a son. No matter. Marfil will recoup his love. An accident took them apart, but they'll make up for lost time. Marfil finally says that she knows Diana is good, so don't steal her husband. Please help her recoup Max.






Cut to a brief scene of Caramelo talking to Fedora in the jail cell. More filler.






Back at the mansion, Diego calls out to Gaby--he says he overheard and she must tell the truth and confess her guilt. (Really, she should be able to make out a self-defense claim. Especially with her madre for an abogada.) For once, Diego seems to be the person with common sense. But why won't he confess to his wife that he can walk? Still a turd.



Back to the hospital: Marfil realizes that Diana wants Max for herself. She tells Diana that she has the best weapon of all--she is the real wife. (I think Caramelo tried that to no avail. Oh, well.) Credits roll.

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Comment on plastic surgery

I read in the Wall Street Journal that "Dry Eye Syndrome" has exploded, reason: many people with facelifts cannot close their eyes all the way so their eyeballs are drying out all day and night...

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

La Fea Más Bella #282 5/24/07 A Kiss Is Just A Kiss... Or Is It?

As we open, Lety and Aldo have a full blown fight over the message Fern left on the street. He thinks Fern is conniving. Lety correctly thinks that Aldo is blowing it out of proportion. As they fight, a car drives past them. Mom watches from window and notices that the car wiped away Fern’s message. As the car drives away. Aldo and Lety see that there is a "Just Married" sign on it, and tin cans strung to the bumper. Lety and Aldo make up and play annoying baby talk games.
Lety returns to her room. Mom is waiting there to ask if she’s sure about Aldo. Lety sullenly says that, well, she’s been wrong about many things… except her decision to marry Aldo.
At the 3’s Company pad, Omar is singing "Te quierooooo!" very loudly. I thnk it’s supposed to be a ranchera (mariachi) song, but it sounds more like really bad opera. Fern here’s the ruckus and runs in with a stick to defend his home from the apparent intruder. Marcia walks in and Fern throws her on the floor to protect her. Omar comes in and they realize he’s the perpetrator. Fern sees the look on Omar’s face-- very different from the gloomy puss he was sporting yesterday. They dance around and sing some more. Fern asks if by chance he saw Aurora last night. Omar does not confirms nor deny, he just continues singing and dancing, and Fern joins him.
Lety dreams… She’s on he set in her Aurora getup. Fern’s back is to her. She tells him (in her Lety voice) that they have to hurry up and finish taping the show, because Aldo may think that she dresses this way just to spend time with Fern. He turns around, but it’s not Fern, and it’s Aldo! Then Fern appears on the other side of Aurora. Fern says "Well, since you have Lety, then I’ll keep Aurora." Lety wakes with a start. She cries that she’s not Aurora, but every day she’s less and less Lety.
Next morning, Jasmine greets Aurora in the main lobby. Today’s outfit is a long, flowing peach number, with a gem-studded pin resting at the cleavage. A bit too monochromatic with her hair and make-up, but I think I’m getting used to it. Jasmine is brown nosing when Omar arrives, still singing. Jasmine notes that everyone knows Omar’s got the hots for Aurora. Aurora does not dispute it. Omar walks right by them, not even noticing them. He jumps on the elevator and the door closes before Aurora can get in.
The cuartel rehashes Fern’s musical tale of heartbreak from the night before.

Doña Bozo arrives looking for the her hijo, el galan (gallant son; a novella stud is often referred to as a galan ). The cuartel comments that she will be very surprised when she sees her son. Bozo goes to see Marcia and again shares her excitement about her son becoming a famous t.v. star. Marcia tries to explain what the show is about but Bozo is too busy gushing over her son to listen.

On the set, the scene begins. Aurora turns to meet Inocencio (Fern). He is all spiffed up in his sharp black tux. The camera pans to his face, he smiles and we see… Big, yellow, chipped, chicklet teeth! … A huge shnoz worthy of an octogenarian alcoholic, and… is it? Could it be? Yes, I think it’s… a unibrow! He gives Aurora a big smile, and puckers up to throw an air kiss. Aurora is impactada.
Doña Bozo, watching from off camera, is also impactada. She exclaims that it can’t be her son. She demands an explanation. They cut the scene so Fern can explain that he made up the character with Lety’s help. She asks why he can’t make up a character that’s more… uh, galan-worthy.
Aurora grumbles "hijo unico" (only son). Fern starts to defend himself, then stops to ask how she would know (that he’s an only son). Aurora’s eyes bulge, but she recovers and says that it’s obvious. Jeronimo, who is also in the scene, disgustedly mutters "novato" (novice). Fern sarcastically replies to him "Brad Pitt."
Alicia is busy as a bee at Tomas’s desk – busy embezzling, that is. She signs another of Tomas’s checks and congratulates herself on how well she has learned to copy Tom’s signature now. Tom’s phone rings and Alicia answers. It’s the bank and they are concerned because they believe one of his checks has a fraudulent signature. She gulps and says she will give him message. She hangs up and panics. She exclaims that she could go to jail. She tears up the check and hides it in her cleavage. She decides that she better find a more creative way to get money from her husband.
In his office, Omar is thinking about Caro. He would love to go back to her house, but he doesn’t want to seem… (he doesn’t finish the sentence). He tries to think of a good pretext to visit her again… He considers taking flowers, or maybe chocolates, the kind with the filling… He hears Caro in the vortex and gets super excited. He runs out to look for her. As he runs in, Caro turns and runs out.
Back on the set, Aurora asks Inocencio how much he charges for his secret agent services. He replies that his charge is nothing, except a kiss… right there on his labios eficientes (efficient lips? – does that mean his lips don’t waste any time? Or that, like an efficient secretary, they are most willing and able? Or…. maybe I need to pause here to get a cold glass of water). Aurora is insulted by Inocencio’s proposed price. Can’t he see she’s a woman of class? His mood changes. He says that yes, he can see that, and he is no longer interested in helping her because she (he hisses "usted") doesn’t have a heart. Aurora clutches her heart. He searches for a hankerchief in his pockets (how many volunteers out there would like to help Fern search for his hanky?... me! me! meeee!). He finds it, inhales deeply, and doubles over while covering his face with the hanky. He looks up and we see that the fake nose is now on the hanky. Aurora sees the true, hunka-hunka burning love beneath Inocencio's feo face, and is-- understandably-- impactada again. She signals to Jeromino to make room for her, and then promptly faints into his arms. Jeronimo catches her and then she bounces back up to tell Inocencio that he lied to her. She is now prepared to pay the price he has set (the kiss!). Inocencio says that is no longer an option. He explains that he learned long ago that true love comes from the eyes of the heart. He learned that from a marvelous woman who everyone called la fea.
He reveals the true objective of his secret agent assignment: to investigate true love. He must find it because true love was stolen from him and now his mission is to find out what happened to it. Aurora whispers to Jeromino that this is not in script. She adlibs, "So, this is a test to see if woman are only interested in appearances?" He replies "Sort of" and says that she should also remove her mask. This makes Aurora’s eyes twitch, Lety-style. She yells "Cut!" and walks off quickly. Caro follows. Luigi is exasperated and throws the script in the air. Fern’s impromptu discourse on true love has changed Jeronimo’s opinion of Fern acting abilities. He applauds him, saying "Repect for you, great actor!" Fern seems a bit taken aback with himself too.
Away from the set, Aurora/Lety is flustered. She tells Caro that it’s as if Fern can tell that she is in costume; that’s she’s not really as she appears. She complains that she can’t take off her Aurora mask -- she is trapped within herself!
On the set, Luigi tells Fern that he has to respect his own work, he should not disrespect himself by changing his script. They are interrupted by Aurora’s return. Luigi tells her she must act as if she can’t resist Inocencio. She must convey an unbearable desire to kiss him. Aurora and Fern look at each other like "Eww!"
Alicia is still in Tomas’s office on the phone with her dad. She’s distraught over possibly getting caught with the fake checks. She promises to stop doing it. From now on she will find a way to make Tomas sign the checks himself. Just then Tomas comes to his office door. I think he heard the end of the conversation, but I’m not sure if he understood the context. He walks in and asks to speak to dad, but Alicia quickly hangs up. They go back and forth about whether they should call dad back or not. She accuses him of wanting to talk to him about the money he was supposed to pay for the reception. She cries that he only cares about money. Blah, blah, blah… the phone rings and Tomas picks it up! Is it her dad or is it the bank calling again about the bogus check? Either way, Alicia is terrified!


Back at the set, Luigi tells Aurora that she has the beauty and style of diva, but sometimes, the India Maria in her slips out [La India Maria – a film character made famous by María Elena Velasco– is a an unrefined, naive Mexican Indian woman who manages to get herself into all kinds of wacky adventures. There are at least a dozen Mexican movies with this character]. Luigi says it’s almost as if she is the platypus’s (Lety’s) sister! Omar anticipates that this comment will anger Fern, so he runs over to hold Fern back. Fern assures Omar that he will not beat up Luigi for the platypus’s comment.

Luigi continues, saying that Aurora need to channel La Garbo (Greta, I’m assuming), she must act if she can smell Inocencio’s esencia de macho (macho essence). To illustrate, Luigi grabs Fern by the waist and thrusts him closer. He instructs "Inocencio must drive you crazy. You draw your lips closer to him slowly [still holding Fern by the waist, he demonstrates the technique]… and then…" Fern squeals and jumps away from Luigi. [What an excellent scene! Pause, rewind, play; pause, rewind, play.] Fern brushes the Luigi cooties off of himself. Luigi continues his instruction: Aurora and Inocencio must have strong eye contact. Aurora and Fern look at each other. Luigi says that he needs them to feel the energy between them. Aurora looks intently at Fern, losing herself for a moment. Then suddenly, she runs off all diva-esque, declaring a sudden need to speak to her agent (Tomas). Caro follows. Fern and Luigi are frustrated because she keeps running off.

Fern and Omar go to the vortex, where Fern asks for Lety. He says he needs her now more than ever. The cuartel informs him that she won’t be in until the afternoon. Martha offers that she is working on wedding preparations. The others groan at her indiscretion. Omar says they must work on the problem with Aurora’s acting – as sexy as she is, she having trouble acting sexy on camera. They need to teach her to be sensual y coqueta (sensuous and flirty). Fern says that’s exactly why he needs Lety-- to teach Aurora how to be coqueta. Omar asks, how does he figure that GargoLety could possibly... (he doesn’t finish the sentence). Fern grits his teeth. Irmita interrups and comes between them. She says she has to admit that Omar has a point. Fern reasons that Lety is tierna y hermosa (tender and beautiful), which is why he fell in love with her. The cuartel awhs. Omar giggles, which enrages Fern, so Omar hides behind Irma.

Tomas is in his office, and Alicia is hitting him up for money. Aurora and Caro come in. Alicia takes this opportunity to inform Aurora that Tomas will be doubling the fee for his talent agent service. Tomas more or less kicks Alicia out of the office. Aurora whines in her Lety voice because Luigi wants her to hermosa y sensual, and she just can’t do it. Caro thinks she should just act natural. Aurora’s whining continues and Tomas says Caro should teach her. Caro hides behind her purse and says "the number you have reached is busy."

Marcia and Doña Bozo discuss the new show. They think Agente Corazon Corazon Amor will be a big big hit.


Lety bellyaches some more because she can’t be sensual. Tomas has an idea, he knows the perfect person to teach her, it’s the most sensuous person in the world! He runs out. Lety thinks she knows who he’s talking about. She twists her face with angst.

In the vortex, the cuartel debates whether to tell Aldo that Fern was going to serenade Lety the night before (and this is their business because?). They take sides again.
Alicia says she will show Aurora her talents, but who knows if she’ll understand. She demonstrates a breathing exercise in which she heaves in and out; it looks similar to that old junior high "We must, we must, we must increase our bust" exercise. Aurora watches and stifles a giggle . Finally, she says this is a waste of time. She and Caro walk out, leaving Tomas to enjoy Alicia’s heaving boobs demonstration.
Aldo discusses his impending wedding with someone on the phone. He thinks it would be a good idea to have the wedding on a yacht. Whoever it is on the other end offers to sponsor (pay for) the yacht.

In the boy’s office/clubhouse, Fern is still ticked off with Omar. Omar changes the subject. He says that he now understands what Fern said before about making love with Lety, that with every touch and every kiss, he could feel how much she loved him . Omar admits that he felt that same way last night. Fern asks with who... Omar tells him it was Caro.

In another room, Caro tells Lety about the turn of events with Omar. Lety is so impactada that she mixes up her words: "You made Omar with love?" She is suspicious of his intentions, but Caro thinks that he’s changed. Lety wonders if maybe that’s why he didn’t pay attention to her when he got on the elevator that morning. Caro is excited to hear this, but then frowns. She’s worried about falling in love only to end up hurt.

Back on the set, Fern tells Luigi that Aurora is not capable of conveying emotion because she has no feelings.


Aldo walks into the vortex and Martha tells him they have something to tell him. PM stops her, but Sarah can’t resist and tells him that Fern was going to serenade Lety last night. Aldo is slightly miffed, but act amused by it. Lola actually asks "Don’t you think Lety should end up with Fern?" [I’m serious, she actually asked him this!] Aldo confidently promises that Lety will end up with the guy she deserves. He promises again for good measure… man, it was creepy.

Fern and Aurora continue their scene, which involves a profound and evocative conversation about what a kiss is.
  • Inocencio: It’s more that just brushing lips together.
    Aurora: Maybe, but the important thing is to attain it. Not just anyone can attain it… not just anyone.
    Inocenncio: Well, who do you think is capable of succeeding? What type of person?
    Aurora: Someone calido, sensual, amoroso, (warm, sensuous, loving), which you are not.
    Inocencio: [forgets his line and she has to remind him] Are you sure?
Luigi loves the scene, but stops them to suggest a tiny change-- a kiss on the lips. Aurora and Fern both scream in terror "Que!!!"

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Duelo de Pasiones, Thursday May 24 - Watch out, Emilio, there's a new captain making eyes at Alina

Gaspar tried to dash off to La Rinconada to see his baby, but Luba forcibly stopped him. He whined, "Mama, I want to see him!" Luba, as always, warned him that the people at La Rinconada would kill him if they found out he was the baby's father. She pleaded with him not to go, but he charged out of the cave.

Meanwhile, at La Rinconada, Emilio told the servants that Santos would be in charge while he was gone, and revealed to the servants' surprise that Santos was his cousin, Maximo's son.

At Coral's house: Coral showed her stage costumes to Soledad, who admired them and asked if Coral intended to go back to dancing. Coral said no, it was time to change her life. She suggested that she and Soledad should start designing clothes. Soledad seemed to like that idea.

In Alvaro's jail cell: The psychiatrist Aida -- or Dr. Loca, as Margaret called her -- told Alvaro he was a tormented man. She asked him to tell her about his relationship with Soledad. He refused, saying it was personal. Aida said she was a professional.

Alvaro admitted, "Yes, I am suffering." She asked, "Soledad deceived you?" and he said, "Yes. She was unfaithful with a foreman."

Aida asked him how many times he had cheated on Soledad with other women. They bickered and Aida decided to leave. Alvaro stopped her and asked, "Have you had your heart broken some time?" She didn't reply.

At La Rinconada: Gaspar found Thelma alone outside and grabbed her, shouting, "You already had my little cub. I want to see him!" Thelma tried to run away but he followed, shaking her and yelling. Thelma began to yell, "Auxilio!" ("Help!")

Emilio arrived and shot Gaspar, who fell to the ground. Thelma screeched at Emilio for not killing Gaspar, but Emilio said he wasn't a murderer and besides, Gaspar was sick. Thelma screeched some more and then was led away by Singing Aunt.

Angel came along and saw Gaspar on the ground. Emilio explained, "He tried to attack Thelma. I don't understand his obsession with her."

Elsewhere: Orlando went to see General Ochoa, who said Orlando deserved some rest after working so long on the mountain.

Meanwhile, Alina and Elias also arrived to see the general. Alina said she was very nervous because she might encounter Emilio. Elias assured her that Emilio was still in Sierra Escondida.

Alina became dizzy and Elias took her away to get some water, narrowly missing Orlando as he came out of the general's office. In the hallway Alina bumped into a handsome man and apologized.

They went to see General Ochoa. Alina told him her father was sick and needed help, and she was afraid. Elias said it would be safer for people to continue to think Alina was dead, and the general agreed. He said he would assign his own nephew, Captain Rodrigo Ochoa, to protect Alina. Of course, this later turned out to be the same man Alina bumped into in the hall.

Orlando went to the Devil's Cave and asked the bartender, Tony, if he'd seen Lucas. Apparently Tony said no. He took some money from Orlando. A young woman approached Orlando and told him Lucas didn't work there anymore. She said she would give him Lucas's address.

Orlando went to Lucas and asked for the name of the retarded man who used to work at the Devil's Cave. Lucas said he'd already told Tony that. (I don't know if this was all filler but it sure seemed like it.)

Finally he told Orlando that the retarded employee's name was Gaspar, and he lived in Sierra Escondida with his mother Luba. Dohlando mused that it had to be the same Gaspar (how does he figure these things out!) then said to himself, "Thelma, Thelma, I have you in my hands," chuckle smirk.

Back at Coral's house: Soledad told Coral how much she had sacrificed for love of Alvaro. Coral said maybe Soledad would fall in love again one day. Soledad said, "No, Coral, love was not made for me."

Alina arrived with Elias. The phone rang, Alina answered, and a man said, "I already know you're here and you're not going to escape!" After hanging up, Alina told the others she had been threatened but didn't know who the caller was.

At that moment, Dario was walking toward Coral's house, telling himself Coral wouldn't live there in peace.

Inside, Elias said the call was probably from Alvaro's lawyer. Coral told Alina she wasn't alone; they were all there to defend her.

Meanwhile, Dr. Aida insisted to her supervisor that Alvaro needed special care. She mentioned a DNA test -- I'm not sure what that was all about -- and said she was sure Alvaro had celotipia (pathological jealousy).

In Sierro Escondida: Emilio brought the unconscious Gaspar to Luba's cave, saying he was only sedated and would wake up tomorrow. He told Luba that he, Thelma, and the baby would soon return to Puebla.

General Ochoa's office: The general received a message from Emilio, read it, and said, "Pronto! Order the detention of Lt. Orlando Villasenor!"

At Dr. Aida's house: Her doorbell rang and she answered it. It was Rodrigo, the general's nephew. He kissed her cheek. She said she needed to talk to a friend.

At La Rinconada: Thelma was sitting on her bed, cooing over the baby, when Luba appeared. She insisted on holding the baby, saying, "He is my grandson!" Thelma said OK, if Luba would leave her in peace.

She gave the baby to Luba, who started to cry and said, "How beautiful he is. He's just like my Gaspar." Thelma tried to throw her out, and Luba warned her not to make a scene or Emilio would learn the truth. Of course, Emilio came in just then and asked, "What truth?"

Thelma ordered Luba, "Give me my son!" and said Luba should tell Emilio her secret. Luba said it was her business, not important, butThelma told Emilio that Luba was hiding in Sierra Escondida because she'd been accused of a crime.

Luba admitted that she'd been accused of killing a boy with a potion, but said she was innocent. Emilio more or less said if no one had brought charges against Luba, that was the end of it.

Luba repeated that she was innocent, said she wouldn't come near La Rinconada again, then left, pausing only to repeat that Thelma's baby looked "just like his father."

Elsewhere, Orlando told himself that Thelma had betrayed him but he would have revenge!

Meanwhile, Vera and Jaime and Ifigenio discussed whether Luba and Gaspar would try to escape from Sierra Escondida. Vera snarled something about getting revenge for all Luba and Gaspar (supposedly) did to Alina.

At the jail: Alvaro was put into a cell with another prisoner, who looked at Alvaro and laughed, "Fresh meat." Alvaro promptly beat him up.

Later a guard lectured Alvaro a little about the fight, but Alvaro gave him money and the guard left. Another prisoner stared at Alvaro threateningly from a nearby cell. Later a group of prisoners got together in the yard and talked about Alvaro, obviously planning something.

At Coral's house: The general's handsome nephew Rodrigo arrived. He and Alina mooned at each other. Alina apologized for bumping into him earlier. Soledad introduced herself, then she and Coral disappeared to make coffee.

Alina apologized AGAIN (talk about overkill), and Rodrigo flashed back to some blonde woman also apologizing to him. In the flashback, he forgave the woman and kissed her.

Coral brought the coffee to Alina and Rodrigo (that was awfully fast). Alina asked Rodrigo if he wanted sugar, and he had another creepy flashback about the blonde woman offering him sugar. Is he another Don Loco??

Meanwhile, Dario -- who must walk very slowly (the timing on this episode didn't make sense) -- finally reached the gates of Coral's house and unlocked them, saying it was good that he still had a key. He said, "Prepare yourself, Coral," then ran toward the house.

(If the gates were locked, how did Rodrigo get in? Why do I keep expecting this show to make sense?)

When Rodrigo said goodbye to Alina and left the house, perky music played, so I guess that means he's not a psycho like Don Loco, after all. Alina said to herself, "Ay, Emilio. No matter how I try, I can't forget you."

Rodrigo apparently went right back to Dr. Aida's house, because suddenly there he was again, telling her he had been put in charge of protecting a beautiful girl. Aida was pleased. She mentioned that his wife had died (the blonde in the flashbacks, no doubt).

She questioned him but Rodrigo said he couldn't tell her anything about the girl he was protecting. (You know he will eventually, and she'll go right to Don Loco with the news that Alina is alive.)

At night: Soldiers sat in a jeep across the street from Coral's house. About time they got there. Inside, Coral told Adela that she and Soledad were going to open a boutique. Adela said she was grateful for all Coral had done for Soledad.

The phone rang and Coral answered. It was Dario. He asked, "Why don't you understand that I'm serious? Leave the house tonight." Coral refused and told him the house was being guarded. Dario said, "Too late. I'm already in the house."

Coral freaked out, telling Adela, "It's the man who tried to kill me!"

Meanwhile, Rodrigo went home, found his young daughter watching TV, and told her to go to bed. More cute music played. (Too bad he's not a psycho -- this show really doesn't have enough villains.)

Back at Coral's house: Coral and Adela ran and told Soledad about the phone call while Alina entered another room and was grabbed from behind by Dario, who told her, "Quiet! Who are you? Where is Coral?" Alina said, "I am a friend of hers."

Somehow -- I'm not sure how? -- she managed to call Rodrigo, then dropped the phone. Rodrigo was still able to hear what was going on.

Coral, Soledad, and Adela came into the room and saw Dario holding Alina. He pointed a gun at them. Coral said, "Your problem is with me!"

And meanwhile, a group of prisoners cornered Alvaro in the bathroom. They pulled knives on him. END OF EPISODE, FINALLY!

mareada = sick, dizzy
moneda = money
pócima = potion

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Zorro Wednesday May 23, 2007: Where Agapito reveals the pitfalls of his (many) careers and Maria Pia admires the spotless skin of Sara Kali.

Diego, Padre Tomás and Bernardo have a conversation. Diego realizes that Montero wanted him to believe that the dead body he presented really was Esmeralda. PT asks Diego if he really believes that Monty is hiding Esme in Callao Prison, because all of their inside sources haven’t said a thing about him hiding anyone there. Diego adds that the prison used to be a monastery and there are an awful lot of places for someone to be hidden. PT says he’d like to believe that Esme is alive, but he’s not convinced. He knows that Diego is going to follow what he believes to be true in his heart, but PT is worried that he’ll be in danger if he tries to sneak inside the prison (ulcer 1). Bernie signs that the security in the prison has been stepped up a notch since Zorro upped the attacks. PT warns Diego to be careful, Monty’s changed the guards and it could be really dangerous. Diego says not to worry, he’s not going into the prison as either Diego or Zorro.

Esme begs Auggie to find out if her sister really is pregnant. Auggie says he can’t do it, Monty is suspicious of him and watching him like a hawk. He tells her it is best if they keep a low profile for awhile. Esme has flashes of Mariangel with Diego and she gets even more worried that something might be happening between the witch and her man (ulcer 2). Auggie sticks up for Diego. He tells Esme that since she married Monty what did she expect, that Diego would just sit around and not find someone else? He advises Esme to let them have their lives and not to look for more problems.

Almudena tells Yumali that if she were to die, Yumi will need to look after Alejandro (welcome to the parlor said the spider to the fly…..giving her just the opening she wants, watch out Dena, Yumi might poison your tea). Dena cries for Esme and tells Yumi that she should snap out of it for Al, but she just can’t. Dolores enters the room and asks if Dena will be getting ready for the funeral. Dena weeps and says she just can’t go, she wants to remember her girl the way she was when she last saw her. Yumi comes up with some sort of Indian ritual to help Dena….it involves her waving her rattles behind Dena’s back and from somewhere off in the distance a wind instrument begins playing.

Mangle plays with Olmos. She hassles him about coming to work for her and he says he’s already to move into the de la Vega hacienda. She says she’s not sure if she still needs or wants him to work for her. He pleads with her and she says OK, but you’ll have to help me get my inheritance by getting rid of my father (What?!?! One thing I thought Mangle was, was loyal to her dad…she is an evil bi**h through and through). She walks away and Olmos mutters that she will be his.

Monty talks to himself and rehashes about Diego’s reaction when he saw the corpse. He, Monty, really enjoyed seeing Diego suffer identifying the “body” of his loved one. Monty goes on to mutter some more that he doesn’t really like the idea of Diego sleeping with his amante (Mangle). Someday, he swears, he’s going to kill Diego and yeah, that Zorro guy and your little dog, too.

Diego and Bernie discuss how Monty thinks he’s fooled them. They decide that Diego’s got to keep up the pretense that he believes Esme’s body has been found. This way, they’ll have time to find out if what Diego suspects is true and where Esme is actually being kept. Diego feels bad that he’s got to let Dena continue to think Esme’s really dead.


Dolores asks Diego about the body and he starts up with the pretense. Dolo prays for Esme’s soul. Dolo reports to Diego that Dena is sunken deeper into her depression, but that Yumi is trying to console her with her Indian ritual.

Pizarro tells Agapito that they need to dig up Sara Kali’s remains. I didn’t catch if he said why they need to body, but Piza is pretty insistent. Aga is scared, cuz there is no body to dig up. Aga gets out of this mess by saying he’s way to busy and it would arose suspicion if he doesn’t tend to the funeral arrangements for Esme. Piza accepts that and leaves. After he’s gone, Aga mutters that Piza’s going to kill him.

Sara Kali runs into Maria Pia at the leper colony. MP is there tending to the needs of the outcasts. She sees SK in the food line and comments that she looks like the leprosy is healing. SK doesn’t really answer and moves away quickly to hide from MP. SK mutters something about being sorry, I’m not quite sure what that’s all about.

Al tells Diego that they cannot host a wake for Esme since she is/was legally Monty’s wife, therefore it is his right. Al is angry to find out that Dena got news of the recovered body and he wants to know who told his wife. Mangle happens by the room at this point and she confesses that it was her who told Dena about the body’s recovery

Monty meets with Aga to make funeral arrangements. He says he wants the best for Esme and acts all remorseful (makes me sick). Aga asks for a written order to remove the body and get it prepped for burial. Monty says he’d like the coffin to be sealed and as he hands Aga the necessary papers he notices that Aga’s hand is shaking. Monty asks why Aga is nervous. Aga gives him a generic answer and leaves. Monty smiles his most weaselly smile.
SAM rehashes with Aga about Esme’s death, how she was a such a lovely lady. Aga comments about how death comes for all of us. SAM says that it should come sooner for some than others.

Auggie brings food to Esme. She’s not hungry. He urges her to eat (I think this is a rerun, because they’ve done this bit a couple of times so far). Esme throws a pity party for herself…her mom’s dead (not), everyone thinks I’m dead (not Diego) and my man supposedly has fathered my evil sister’s offspring (not). Auggie says she needs to eat for the baby and talks to her about the importance of children. He talks about his own kids and this must soften him up to a degree. He then promises to find out whatever she wants if she agrees to eat.

Diego tries to talk Mangle out of going to the cemetery service. She says she’s going because she’s Esme’s sister and because she can help defuse things with Monty. She claims that Monty respects her because she’s the governor’s daughter. Diego tells Mangle to do as she pleases and leaves. She mutters to herself and the general audience that she’s really going to see that they bury Esme deep in the ground.

Yumi tells Al that Dena needs to let go of her grief for Esme. They are having this conversation right in front of a sleeping Dena. Anyway, Al says it’s not like that with white people, they need to grieve. Yumi’s people see death as part of life’s circle, and therefore it is easier for them. Al thanks Yumi for doing her rattle ceremony and being there for Dena, Dena really missed Yumi when she was off wandering in the mountains. Yumi makes a move toward him. She asks if he missed her too while she was gone. He says of course, we (him and Dena) both did because she is part of their family. This seems to satisfy Yumi somewhat, she takes from that that Al missed her (just goes to show people hear what they want to hear).

Olmos arrives at the hacienda with his bags. Dolo wants to know who he is and what’s he doing there (because I am sure that there are so many hunchbacks wondering around LA that Dolo can’t keep them all straight---no pun intended). Olmos says that he’s Fernando’s assistant and he’s come to work for FS’s daughter, Mangle. Dolo is put out, nobody told her anything about this. She seems suspect that Olmos works for Fernando, but says she’ll go find a room for him.

Al tells Dena that Diego recognized Esme’s body when showed the remains (he knows Mangle told her this already, but apparently wants her to hear it from him now). They talk about the funeral and how the burial will be that afternoon. Dena is upset, but Al tells her that it is best to get it all taken care of now.

Aga goes to prep the body. You’d think the man had never been around a rotting corpse. He goes on about how the body stinks (now I watched Six Feet Under and one thing David Fischer was adamant about was that the morticians treat the dead with respect, to remember that they are family to someone---right now I’m thinking Aga could have a little conference with David and get some lessons on how to do the whole respect thing because he’s not doing such a wonderful job----could be because he’s really a jack of all trades and a master of none). Aga comments that the person has been dead for several days (that fits with Monty’s story---see at least Monty can get the whole continuity thing down for his lies, now if only the writers would take a lesson from this and follow suit).

Fernando and Monty meet. Monty rehashes that Diego ID’d the body and the two go on to rehash the funeral arrangements. Monty says that there still is the matter of Alejandro de la Vega to discuss. Things haven’t been worked out about Al’s little military confrontation with Monty and also Al’s still blaming Monty for Esme’s death. Fernando says that he’s responsible as well, but he’ll not pay in this life, he’ll pay in hell. Monty says he’s a man who also lives up to his responsibilities (Liar!!, you always look for a patsy to take the fall). Monty’s parting shot to Fernando is to lose the smell of liquor before showing up to the funeral.

Dolo gets some answers from Mangle about Olmos. Dolo asks where she should put Olmos and Mangle says in a room close to mine. Dolo sees this as being as weird as we all do, but she goes to follow the orders. Mangle smiles one of her evil smirks.

Maria Pia rehashes with Sister Carola about the strange, unleper like lady at the colony. MP comments that the woman looked almost cured, and yet she just got there. Sister Carola says that maybe her condition is located on parts of the body not seen to the un-naked eye. MP goes on about Fernando’s visit the evening before. She tells Sister Carola that she’s worried (ulcer 3) of what the other sisters think. Carola tries to put MP at ease, but MP thinks it might be best if she were to distance herself from Fernando. Carola asks if MP means physical distance and will be leaving the convent.

Sara Kali is questioned by the head leper lady (HLL). HLL wants to know who SK is and why Aga brought her there to hide. SK says it is better for HLL not to know, because it will put her life in danger. SK is desperate to talk to someone, so she gives a mini rehash of her life and how it has no meaning now that her daughter is dead.

Nutty Nun (Sister Suplicios/ don’t remember her birth name that Renzo called her the other day, so she’ll still be NN to me) stumbles onto the gypsy camp. It almost looked like she was seeing a mirage, but nope it was actual people. She gets Jonas and Suzi to come with her, but doesn’t tell them where they are going. The Gitanos are a helpful bunch and they go along after NN (did they forget that they’ve been the object of a Monty’s witch hunt for awhile now……so we see where Renzo gets his cleaver ideas---the apple falls not far from the tree). NN gets the Gitanos to Camba and Renzo. Suzi flips out to see that her baby boy is hurt, she’s worried he’s lost a lot of blood (ulcer 4).

Dena stays at home as Al, Mangle and Diego head off to the cemetery.

Piza tells Monty that he’s called in an expert to help with the explosives that they will use to kill the Marquesa (MC). Monty doesn’t like outsiders being brought in on the job. He wants Piza to do it. Monty goes on with the same old song and dance and says that Piza’s been acting weird and that he just can’t trust him anymore, BUT he then tells Piza that he expects Piza to carry out the execution of MC. Piza says he’ll do it.

SAM oversees the digging of “Esme’s” grave. Auggie shows up and pays Sgt. Garcia (SAM) three gold coins. SAM is suspicious that the coins are real and does the bite test. He teases Auggie about hitting it rich. Auggie asks what’s going on with the grave and SAM tells him it’s for Esme’s corpse.

Monty goes to see Esme and tells her he’s headed to her funeral. Esme esta impactada. Oh yeah, Monty adds, you didn’t know that your body’s been recovered. He goes on to give her the details of finding the corpse of a fisherwoman that was rotting for days. He lets her know that Diego ID’d the body and what pleasure Monty got out of the whole experience. Esme calls him a bastard and Monty threatens her with a “remember you are dead!”

SAM and Auggie watch the funeral procession….Al, Diego, MC, and Mangle. Auggie wonders who the red head is. SAM says it’s Esme’s sister and Don Diego’s wife. Auggie mutters that its true (OK, Esme knew that part already, what she asked you to find out was if Mangle was pregnant….I think Auggie will take the easy way out and just jump to the conclusion that Diego and Mangle are now really an item, i.e. she’s pregnant---not that she isn’t, but she isn’t that way because of Diego).

MP tells Padre Tomás that she’s going to the funeral. PT says that Fernando is sure to be there and it is best if MP avoids him. Maria Pia doesn’t care, Fernando will have to just deal because she’s not going to not be there for Diego. So she tells PT that she can go with him or on her own, but she is going. OK, he agrees to go with her.

At the cemetery PT performs the service. Monty steps up and says he wants to pay respect to his wife. Piza and his soldiers shoot off an rifle salute at Monty’s request. Monty adds some words about what a marvelous wife Esme was and in her memory he’d….Dena shows up at this point, and she basically goes on to tell Monty to shut up and calls him a hypocrite. END OF EPISODE / Ulcers equal 4, did I lose count ‘cuz it seemed like there were more

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Duelo - Wed May 23 - Two New Families are Formed

Luba tells Angel the wimp that Alina is alive. Angel has trouble comprehending this point. He coughs for clarification. Luba tells him that Alina is “Libre del Patron. Ella esta en Puebla.” She is free of the boss. She is in Puebla. Angel coughs in disbelief, saying it's not possible. Luba takes offense that he would think she is lying. She talks in third person saying Luba never lies. Funny she is so emphatic on this point because Ive watched her lie many a time. I guess what she is really trying to say is that she doesn't lie when she is telling the truth. Otherwise she lies. Angel coughs as the realization hits him that his love is alive! He coughs some more and Luba tells him not to get all stirred up (agitado). Angel is excited though. He wants to go to Puebla to see her! Luba tells him to tell no one as he runs off with energy he hasn’t had in years.

Ricardo tells Malena that tomorrow he will take Marianna to a rehabilitation center. He kisses his paralyzed girlfriend as Malena skips off happily thinking of Marianna getting better.

Soledad tells Alina that she doesn't want to go to their house. She doesn't want to remember anything of Alvaro. Alina tells her not to be silly, they can work, etc. Soledad is doubtful. Her earlier resolutions to fight for her daughter are lost in her weak little mind. She tells Alina things aren’t so easy, besides she knows that Emilio raped her. Alina is impactada.

Don Loco is informed by his unscrupulous lawyer that he located Elias and spoke with Soledad. In fact Soledad is in Elias house. Loco goes into a little freak out about this news. He is impactado.

A new telenovela is coming to a time slot soon. El Puma shall be the Viejo Galan.

Loco returns from the ad break still in a state of shock. He knew it! He knew it! Lo sabia! He screams to be let out of there so he can unleash his fury. The lawyer looks on in concern. Loco claims that if Soledad makes a declaration against him he will be in jail forever! He freaks some more.

Emilio remembers his first encounter with Alina at the prom. He wakes from his memories standing in his room repeating out loud over and over that he will never forget you Alina, mi Alina. Angel watches Emilio suffer from the doorway. He turns from the room thinking to himself how he should tell Emilio that Alina is alive. Thelma comes up the hallway and bugs Angel to tell her if he was able to convince Emilio to pardon her. Angel expresses his doubts that Emilio will do that. Thelma claims she will fight for his love. She lays it on thick and Angel is swayed. He changes his mind from his prior thoughts thinking this time that maybe its best that Emilio doesn't know that Alina is alive. Perhaps Angel's illness is messing with his reasoning abilities as well as his lungs for him to be swayed by Thelma's machinations.

Alina, in a minor state of impactada, informs her mother that Emilio never raped her; it was the lieutenant. Gosh darn her father and his lies. Soledad wails how will she ever forgive Alvaro?! Yes Soledad its all about you. Surely this is a sign that Soledad has contracted Stockholm syndrome? Or no I forgot it’s the SSED (Stupid Sierra Escondida Disease/Disorder).

Ifigy protects Rosita from the big bad Max with a shotgun that is almost as big as Ifigy. Max promises that he will return to see Rositas little face.

Coral tells her whorehouse buddy Erica that her inheritance is to share with her friends. She has things to do but she will be back. She explains how she is no longer afraid of the evil nephew and will fight him tooth and nail if he wants. She asks Erica to tell baldy guy hello as she gets up to leave. She walks out smiling, happy with herself. Little does she know but creepy bad evil nephew Dario has spotted her. He tells the room that he knows she is back….

A man watches as Loco rolls his head in his sleep murmuring for Soledad. Loco wakes up and sees the man who turns out to be the cadaver of his father (bloody head from death fall). Locos father tells him that Soledad is cheating on him. Loco reacts negatively. He yells at his father as the prison guards come to yell at Loco to be quiet. Its obvious to the guards that Loco is seeing and hearing things.

Soledad doesn't want to stay at la casa de Elias anymore. She wants to go to a hotel. Coral enters the house and invites the women to stay at her home. Alina explains to Soledad how Coral protected her from Edelmira. The women are happy and head off to Corals together.

Loco has made it to the prison hospital where he is on a gurney. The pretty but creepy female psychologist watches over him as she administers a sedative. Loco tells the people to leave him in peace. The psychologist picks up this train of thought and tells the guard to go. Loco looks up at her and immediately goes into a hallucination. She turns into Soledad right before our very eyes. He fondles her hair; he pulls her to him for a long kiss. The psychologist looks down at him after their kiss and watches him fall asleep. She runs her fingers over his lips. It looks like weirdo psycho psychologist has found a man to love.

Coral shows Alina and her mother the extra rooms in the house. Coral pretends to have the best manners as she instructs Alina how to make up her bed and where to find sheets, covers and towels. She promises she will find some help (servants) the next day. Alina is left alone in her room to ponder her love for Emilio.

Thelma looks over the baby as they both lay on top of her bed. She coos and tickles the child while Emilio watches from the door. He remembers Angels bad advice about sticking with Thelma. Thelma sees him and starts in how she is ready to change. He looks doubtful (is that possible?) as he tells her they will talk about it later. She thinks to herself that he will be with her.

Ricardo deposits Marianna at the rehabilitation center. Marianna thinks to herself how she is going to cure herself.

The detective that Blanca once brought to Sierra Escondida a long time ago tells Don Locos corrupt police chief that he is being arrested for helping Loco.

Angel tells Emilio that he wants to go to Puebla. Emilio tells Angel that he will go to Puebla also.

Don Loco is read the charges against him by the prison warden/chief. His lawyer and the psycho psychologist look on as the charges are read. Don Locos attorney tells Loco that he will fix everything as Loco is lead away. The warden turns to the psycho psychologist to tell her to keep out of the Alvaro issue. Psycho Psychologist tells the warden that Loco has a big personality disorder. Plus she has seen him have a nervous breakdown. The warden doesn’t care; he wants Loco to pay for his misdeeds. Psycho remembers her kiss with Loco as she touches her own lips.

Over dinner at a long dinning room table Coral tells Alina and Soledad her story with Don Celso. Alina comments how it sounds like a story out of a movie! What luck she had to meet Don Celso! Coral tells them the bad part of the story which is the bitter evil nephew, but she is ready to fight him now. Soledad and Alina worry they will be a burden for Coral. Coral is shocked they would think they are a burden. She thinks of them like family. Could they live together and be like family? They could be the 3 musketeers together! Whoopee!

Angel and Emilio decide they will leave the next day. Angel thinks to himself how he doesn’t want Emilio to find out Alina is alive nor does he want Emilio to run into Alina in Puebla. More likely Angel is worried that he will be caught trying to romance Alina, but that’s a problem for another day.

Luba talks to herself regretting telling Angel that Alina is alive. Gaspar overhears her talking. He is sad. He wants to know when his Cachorrito will be born. He wants to play with him. Luba tells him that she would give her life to make him happy.

Santos fills Emilio in on all the sordid details of Fat Max. Emilio has a hard time believing his Tio could be so bad. Santos explains how Castulo tried to kill him etc, all on orders from Max.

Soledad shares her story of falling for Don Loco to Alina and Coral during their bonding dinner. They discuss "The Letter" and Loco's craziness. How will they start a new life? Coral suggests they start a business. Soledad is her usual doubtful downer self. Coral has enough energy for both of them though. She suggests Alina goes back to school (after Alina whines of wanting to go back) and that Soledad and her go to work!

Don Loco's lawyer tries to calm him down. Loco is ranting and raving about his predicament. The lawyer points out that the man accusing Loco is not just some Don Nadie (a no one) but an officer in the army. This makes Loco more incensed. He screams "Can you get me out or cant you!" The lawyer patiently tells Loco that it would make his job a lot easier if Loco would treat him like his attorney instead of his worst enemy. Loco takes this in and calms down. They work on brainstorming who would make a good witness for Loco? Hmmm? How about Max? Yes! Max would be great! The uncle of the man accusing you!

Emilio asks Santos to help him with the coffee plantation. Santos agrees calling Emilio patron. Emilio corrects him, its Primo (cousin) not Patron.

Thelma tells her aunt that with Alina gone (she doesn't exist) Emilio will be hers once again. The only problem Thelma has now is if Emilio finds out that the kid is not his but Gaspars. They worry Gaspar might show up looking for the child.

Vera tells Ifigy that she discovered that it was Luba who killed Flor. Ifigy is pissed. He wants to get the town people together and kill Luba. Vera, a little late, argues for patience. Its too late, Ifigy is mad. He runs out of the kitchen.

Locos attorney gives him a bible. Loco tells the attorney that he isn't much for religion. The attorney tells him that God helps those who help themselves. If Loco doesn’t believe he should look at passage blah blah blah. Loco opens the bible and finds a wad of cash. The attorney tells him that he will need the money to buy peace and security in the big pen.

Santos gloats over having a job. Rosita and Emilio smile with him. They are family. Emilio gives Santos a wad of cash as a present for their wedding. He wants Santos and Rosita to take a trip. All are very Happy Happy.

Angel visits the construction shack to get the address to Elias' house in Puebla. Engineer Nunez looks strangely at Angel.

Gaspar worries that Cacique will come and burn them to toast. Luba tells Gaspar that that won't happen, Cacique is in another world. Gaspar gets excited exclaiming You killed him! Luba tells him that no she didn’t do that, he's just not someone to worry about anymore.

Tony the waiter on a mission for Orlando finds the baldy waiter friend of Coral who worked at the Devils Cave. Baldy remembers Gaspars name and where he came from; Sierra Escondida. Tony looks off happily thinking how he will be rewarded for this information.

Emilio informs Thelma that they will be going to Puebla in the morning. She is happy as is the singing aunt.

Gaspar whines that he isn’t hungry; he wants to see his cachorrito. Luba has just made some soup for Gaspar and is unhappy to hear his pouting. She tries to force feed Gaspar the soup. Gaspar whines throughout the process as the soup drips down his face. All of a sudden Ifigy is there screaming at them. He yells for Luba to not step a foot at the hacienda again. They all hate her and Gaspar too! They know what she did to Alina! In fact Luba better split before the town gets together to burn them alive! So scram and don’t try and visit the Rinconada or see the baby again! Luba is impactado but none more than Gaspar who is impactado to hear his son has been born!

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La Fea Más Bella #281 5/23/07 Fer serenades himself, beautifully, Lety and Aldo make it formal, Tomy gets a tele, and your recapper goes to Miami to see them in the Flesh!!

Greetings FEA FANS!!!! Tonight I post to you from my Hotel Lobby in Miami where I have just now returned from attending the taping of the La Fea Mas Bella special of Cristina!!!!

Fue magico!! I don’t want to give too much away because it won’t air until after the novella is over, but…… I got to enjoy live and in person Jaime, Angelica, Angelica Maria, Jose Jose, Sergio, his wife and baby, Luis, Augustin, Elizabeth, Julio, Paty, & Niurka!!! Amazing!!! You will love it, as did I!! I need some pinches because I still can’t believe it!! Maybe you’ll see me in the audience when it airs. (I’m not wearing my pink hat though, hats aren’t allowed…) PS In honor of Caray Caray, I told Jaime and Augustin that they have English speaking fans!! They smiled. What beautiful smiles!!

******************

We open with Caro and Omar finally making out. Thank goodness this frustration is about to end!!!

Fer walks into the Padilla compound announces himself and calls around for everyone, anyone? He yells that the door was open. He wonders why no one is there.

At departamento Mora, Tomas is arguing with Alicia about going to the “formal hand asking” party. Alicia doesn’t want to go, but he says Lety and Aldo are his best friends and he can’t miss their special day, and she’s his wife so she has to accompany him. She tells him to go alone. She mentions she is waiting for someone, and can’t go. Just then the doorbell rings and deliverymen show up with a PLASMA TV!!!!

Now most men I know would be frothing at the mouth if their wives bought a 42” plasma, even with the husband’s money. Bless his heart. Not Tomy. He wants to know what it is and where it came from. Alicia snidely tells him, duh a TV and double duh, from a store. She ends up telling him it’s a gift from her Papi after she orders him to tip the guys. Darn, I really want to meet this Papi. Something tells me, though, soon we’ll find the charge appearing on T’s credit card!!! She tells him to hurry up and connect it because he has to go see the Garnacha. I don’t know, but any one whose tried to mess with electronic devices knows that it can end up to be several hours before it’s quite right. I’m wishing Tomy luck with a quick connect!

The cuartel is at the Don Quixote Restaurant. The maitre‘d says that you can have this table here, but that only one person was expected. Sara says we are one person but with six personalities! He says he remembers now that the invitation was only for one person, to which Juana replies, not to worry, we’ll only eat a little. Mr. Colunga will arrive in half an hour. All the cuartel is excited except for Irma. Turns out she is worried about Fer, that he was in really bad shape.

We then go to Fer sitting alone at Lety’s reminiscing about her smile, her perfume, her flavor, and not of life of course, instead, of the enchilada that she gave him. He laments that she is going off now with Domensolin. He then gets an idea to go up to her room. He confirms no one is there.

I guess the kiss turned into more than a kiss as we now flash to a presumably post-coital Omar and Caro. Funny, I didn’t know that one of the side effects of getting it on was a flushed face in the form of perfect make up!! Ugh, and they even emphasized that she wasn’t dressed in the previous scene! I was so pleased that they finally had someone look natural and now this. Oh well. At least they look happy. Omar with his watch still on. Don’t guys usually take that off? I wouldn’t want to be caressed with that thing touching me!!

Flash back to Fer entering Lety’s room, he asks Lety’s permission to enter, and thanks her. He says here is where my Lety sleeps. Before I lose her I’m going to stay a little while with some momentos of her. I would love to touch her dreams. I wish she was here. He moves over to touch her bed then notices that giant seascape. He curses that Aldo has even gotten up here. He says something about being up to nostrils, his or hers, in essence conveying that someone is full of him. He complains about the picture, that he can’t even turn it upside down cause it’s on the wall!!! He says he should write that he loves her and sign right on it. He makes marking motions, but he reminds himself that he promised to leave her alone. He double checks no one is around and notes how much pain he is in.

At T&As Tomy is still begging A to come to the party. She says she won’t go there for anything. He asks her if she doesn’t really care for him, she ignores him in favor of the TV. He tells her if he goes out of this door by himself, he won’t come back. Finally he goes out, then she thinks, what if he really does leave her alone in the street without a TV and a bed, she screams after him, and of course he immediately turns around and runs back in.

Irma is worrying again about Fer, the cuartel wonders what she can do, they suggest she call his cell. He answers, turns out he’s in the Plaza Garibaldi with Mariachis. He says he wants to go somewhere far, maybe Central America, but he will do legitimate work, nothing illegal. She tells him not to do that, he says he’s got no reason to stay here. She tells him to stay there that she wants to accompany (accompagnar) him, but he thinks she said she wants to sing (cantar) with him, and he excitedly tells the groups she’s going to sing with them and he holds up the cell phone. She says no she’s coming there, so don’t move. She tells the cuartel she’s sorry, but she has to go get him. In a rare moment of unselfish solidarity, they decide she shouldn’t go alone and that they will go with her as they beg for Colunga’s forgiveness for flaking on him. Martha makes sure to bring her comida.

We then get a wonderful taste of Fer singing the Vicente Fernandez classic Me canse de rogarle (I’m tired of begging her)

Me canse de rogarle
me canse de decirle
que yo sin ella de pena muero
ya no quiso escucharme
si sus labios se abrieron
fue pa decirme
ya no te quiero
yo senti que mi vida
se perdia en una abismo
profundo y negro
como mi suerte
quise allar el olvido
al estilo jalisco
péro aquellos mariachis
y aquel tequila
me hicieron llorar

Me canse de rogarle
con el llanto en los ojos
alse mi copa y brinde por ella
no podia despreciar
era el ultimo brindis
de una boemio
por una reyna
los mariachis callaron
de mi mano sin fuerza
caya mi copa
sin darme cuenta
ella quiso quedarse
cuando vio mi tristeza
pero ya estaba escrito
que aquella noche
perdiera su amor



We are back at Casa Padilla where suddenly everyone is back home and Aldo and his Pop arrive bearing Champagne. They all want to rush the wedding, except Robo who says that back in his days they waited at least 6 months after proposing. Julieta interjects that in their times, the land was still warm (the earth was forming). Robo Pop thinks it’s a good thing they got the champagne because the last bottle of Cidre that he had somebody drank for the expo celebration and he looks at Aldo very sternly. Aldo tells him not to look at him, Julieta remembers that was when Aldo proclaimed he was in love, but wouldn’t say with who. He says well now you know it’s with the most marvelous woman in the world. Lety. Everyone smiles and laughs.

I think is one of the greatest sequence of scenes ever…..Back at the plaza Fer is pouring tequilitas for all the mariachis, but he is not taking any, he tells them he doesn’t drink and they should drink for him. Just then the cuartel on their emotional rescue mission shows up and wonders if he is ok. He slurs and sways but kids them that he’s not drunk, the maris are drinking for him. The cuartel tries to get him to go back to his house with them. He says no way, the night is young and we have to enjoy it because today Lety told Domensolin that she will marry him. He miraculously pulls plenty caballitos out of his pocket, enough for each of the cuartel, and bids them to drink.

the Mexican poet Alvaro Mutis wrote in “Tequila: Panegyric and Emblem”:

Tequila has no history; there are no anecdotes confirming its birth.
This is how it’s been since the beginning of time, for tequila is a gift from the gods
and they don’t tend to offer fables when bestowing favors.
That is the job of mortals, the children of panic and tradition.



Fer continues that this is the first of many nights of suffering. This suffering is unending. Who suffers, he continues, Domensolin? Nooooo, not him, ME!!!!!

He knows what he should do! Bring a serenade to Lety to say goodbye. They say no. He says yes, what’s better is a song to try and get her back, muchachos. Let’s go to her house. They try to talk him out of it, and he back downs. The mariachis sing “Que seas Feliz” (That you are happy) Some of you may remember this from Apuesta por un Amor sung by Luis Miguel, and covered often by Patty Manterola who ended up in that story with none other than our beloved Juan Soler!!:

Que seas feliz, feliz, feliz
es todo lo que pido
en nuestra despedida
no pudo ser despues
de haberte amado tanto
por todas esas cosas tan absurdas
de la vida.
Siempre podras contar conmigo
no importa donde estes
al fin que ya lo ves
quedamos como amigos.
En vez de despedirnos
con reproche y con llantos
yo que te quise tanto
quiero que seas feliz, feliz, feliz
Siempre podras contar conmigo
no importa donde estes
al fin que ya lo ves
quedamos como amigos.
En vez de despedirnos
con reproche y con llantos
yo que te quise tanto
quiero que seas feliz, feliz, feliz
En vez de despedirnos
con reproche y con llantos
yo que te quise tanto
quiero que seas feliz, feliz, feliz

But not with Domensolin!!!!! He shouts! The cuartel swept up in the moment agree!

Julieta serves what looks like delicious cream and salsa covered stuffed chili peppers, and announces dinner is served. Right on schedule the human vacuums show up to eat their fill. Ali makes nice nice with Lety and ends up telling everyone we shouldn’t waste time talking and we should go to the kitchen to enjoy the lovely dinner because we are hungry, no? Robo remarks that it was bad enough with one greedy gut (Tomas) and now there are two! Funny, I noticed the table set for six, but there are seven people. Hmmm. Maybe they’ll put Alicia out to eat with Moty….

Fer is glad that the cuartel joined him and says he will never forget that they did this. It looks like they are on the march to Lety’s house. The mariachis are singing :

Te vas porque yo quiero que te vayas,
a la hora que yo quiera te detengo;

(You leave because I want you to go, until the moment that I want to stop you...)

Fer stops them and yells at them that they shouldn’t sing about her going, they should be singing about her coming back! He remarks that they must be drunk to be singing such a thing.

Irma begs him again not to do this, that he is just going to hurt her Lety. He says he’s not going to hurt her he’s going to make her happy because with this she’ll know that I love her even more than that fool Domensolin!!! He continues that the whole world show know about this love. The mariachis say they don’t know it, Fer confirms that’s because it’s not a song!

They are now out front of Lety’s Fer is remarking how drunk they must be, they’ve sang these songs hundreds of times. He tells them to sing well, that this is the woman of his life. Do is Do and Re is Re. He tells them to begin, Irma rushes up to stop him and he tells them to wait for him. This happens again when Martha rushes up to tell him that Lety is really happy with Aldo. He tries to entice her to eat something. He decides that he should sing again “I’m tired of begging you” and he tries to start the mariachis again. The cuartel stop them this time. The mariachi comes over and tells him not to be like this and just decide. He says indeed, ok, you should stop then. He pays them for their time and sends them on their way, but quietly he asks. As they leave they loudly start playing again which of course irritates everyone.


The cuartel tell Don Fer that they are there for him and they want him to be ok and that he is their hero. He tells them he will be alright and he thanks themand so one by one they take their leave, and take the opportunity to kis and hug him goodbye. Some more than others, like Juana and Sara who practically knock him over squeezing him to death. I died laughing during this entire parade. Really I think this was one of the best ever!!

Inside Ali asks for more food. Lety asks if they will get married at the beach. Everyone thinks that’s great. Tomas thinks of course because the sea is Aldo’s life. He corrects that Lety is his life. Tomy says yes, like Ali is my life and the woman that fits him. Ali says no none of that, she thinks it would fit better for her to be with Aldo and Tomas to be with Lety, that would go better. Lety says no, actually opposites attract, and those that are the same repel. Tomas agrees it’s all physics, so a Feo belongs with a bella.

Sadness has caught up again with Fer who now sits alone on the front stoop. He is scrawling something on the sidewalk and mumbles to himself that maybe he should leave her a message here, but it’s the only way he has to show her how much he cares.

Bozo returns. She and Mar are having a heart to heart. Bozo thinks it would be great if she and Fer were together not just as siblings, but married. Mar assures her that she is fine about everything and she’s gotten over all that. Teri hopes Fer gets his happiness too. Mar says he will, you’ll see. She begins to rehas the telvision project and how her son is going to be the star.

Just then Fer walks in and wonders what his Mom is doing in this part of town. She wants to know more from him about his tele debut. He remarks how the gossip flies and refuses to tell her anything that it is a surprise, that it’s something different. He essentially tells her to go home to her humble house and not worry about it and he says good night. Teri tells Mar that she is going to come to the business tomorrow because she doesn’t like that he is being do mysterious about this.

Everyone leaves the Padillas. Aldo remarks that his Dad probably had the best time of anyone. Julieta says that they are going up to bed now and Robo agrees, but after Aldo leaves. Juli tries to persuade him to go now and let them say goodbye as they like. He says fine we’ll go now but he gives Lety 2 ½ minutes to get up to her room.

Aldo asks her if she’s sure that she loves and wants to marry him she says yes and then Lety and he kiss. Robo yells down to make sure that she comes up like she’s supposed to.

We finally go back to Omar and Caro, and Omar is leaving and doesn’t want her to fix anything because he thinks it’s best if he goes home to get some sleep because he has a lot of work tomorrow. She says that’s right tomorrow begins the filming of the program with Aurora. He says Aurora a couple of times and then says that he actually forgot about that. Caro is surprised but glad. They say long goodbyes very happily and think of each other and they fade off.

Back at Casa Padilla Lety and Aldo wander out to say their goodbyes only to find Fer’s message on the side walk. “Lety I wish you much happiness” Lety is clueless, but Aldo is much more cynical. He knows right away it’s Fer and not someone who lives in the colonia and he’s not happy. Lety wants to know why does it always have to be Fer?

Aldo tells her of course it’s him, it’s always him trying to blackmail you. He knows we are inside talking about our wedding date and plans and so the orphan of love has to be out here writing this stuff. She doesn’t understand why he’s so mad. She doesn’t think he tries to black mail her. Aldo wonders then why didn’t he come in and congratulate us to our faces, of course he’s blackmailing you. Lety says she doesn’t care and isn’t interested and he says how can you not be interested in someone blackmailing you and we close with a wickedly angry face of Aldo staring at us like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

Dum Da Dum Dum Dum…are the tables turning?????

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Destilando Amor 5/23: Who put Kool-Aid in Mr. Artemio's tequila?

  • We open with Aaron's reaction to Artemio's ruin, which Aaron himself caused by sneaking Kool-Aid (or something) into the tequila in Hawaii. Aaron's succinct philosophy: "I know he's an old family friend, but in business we can't afford to be sentimental, we must close our eyes to the problems of others." Oñate crows that through this crooked Hawaii situation they'll make millions without a single headache.

  • Rod is trying to expend the energy of his one brain cell discussing Artemio's plight with Gaviota when flowers arrive. He narrows his eyes jealously. The card reads, "I've sought you throughout the world." Gav scolds Rod: "I told you no more flowers." "They're from one of your many admirers, not from me!"

  • SanJuana taunts Hilario, who is dangerously deranged already, do you notice how he's crossing his eyes more? "The lady of the castle doesn't want you, you're nothing compared with El Patron." Again she blackmails him - marry me or I spill the beans about your lovin' La Patrona - she flounces out and he throws hay in frustration.

  • Isa's smarmy new neighbor, Francisco de la Vega, comes over to borrow her phone (he says he lent his apartment to a guy who didn't pay the bills so his landline got cut off). Hmm, he's confirming an engagement and they're sending a chauffeur for him, but he doesn't have a cellphone? He asks if he can use her number for his friend to call back and confirm, she says yes, he writes down her number and kisses her hand, she checks out his butt as he leaves.

  • Artemio has gone to Pilar to vent - "None of this would have happened in Don Amador's day, we were friends, that's why I've come to you." She begs him not to be "aggressive" with the children, she's sure there's some explanation, she'll talk to Aaron. Artemio says, again, that he'll be ruined and wonders who would do this to him.

    Artemio, Gav and Rod have a meeting with big Mr. Tequila Bureaucrat who says the Kool-Aid adulteration is disastrous not just for Artemio, but for the whole industry's reputation. Gav says Montalvo Corporation will give Artemio jillions of agaves to make up for his wrecked shipment, but he says there isn't time to make a whole lot of tequila before tomorrow, which is when his client needs it. "I'll be ruined!"

    Rod later scolds Gav for having offered all those agaves and she says she was moved by Artemio's desperation. She suggests that, to prevent future problems (I'm not sure of the connection exactly), they start a school for wine-tasting. "That's a great idea, why didn't I think of it?" He calls James, suggesting he might like to be involved in getting the school started.

  • The phone rings: it's Benvenuto, full of compliments, asking if "the gorgeous Mexican" got his flowers. Gav tells Rod to leave and shut the door behind him. He tries, but finds himself strangely stuck on the other side of the door with his nose sticking through the crack. Elvira falls into him.

    Hanging up, Gav notices the nose and asks, "are you spying on me?" He pulls her roughly into the room and asks if Benvenuto is her lover. "These are work hours, ask me work questions," Gav patiently reminds him. "You're killing me, you have me in your hands, I can't be with other women, I'm full of memories, your smell ay ay ay, I love you, you make me do one stupid thing after another after another..."

    "I believed you would wait, I believed you loved me, right up until the moment you married, now I don't believe you," she patiently reminds him.

    Rod asks the least astute question possible: "What can I do to make you trust me again?" Let's all say together, duh. She says the moment for their love is over, they should simply be cordial and try to avoid more damage.

    Elvira comes in and says Pilar is on the phone. "My grandmother?" Rod queries. He takes the call in Gav's office, Gav leaves, Rod snarls and throws her flowers to the floor with a huge crash.

  • Aaron and Rubberlips are lounging by the pool. She also has rubber boobs and hair as - can you call this color red? - as Teresita's in La Fea. He tells her the new tequila is selling well and also says wifey is coming back next day. She talks more about living for today, their intense and spontaneous love, he says he'd like to have her for his whole life, she thought-bubbles that she'd like that too but "it can't be." Maybe she's dying of silicone poisoning.

    The maid hustles in and says, "the missus is here!" Rubberlips pushes her lips out even further in an expression of extreme dismay - in fact, she's commercial-level impactada.

    She asks Aaron if she should hide under water? He tells the maid to gather her clothes and tells Pamela to hide in the closet.

    There's a lot of hustling and suddenly Aaron is alone, whistling, dangling his feet in the pool, as Minerva stomps in. She was bored on her trip and came home early (no doubt to try and catch Aaron with Rubberlips). She didn't call him for a ride because (observing him dangling toes in pool) "I figured you'd be so busy."

    He goes all lovey over her, embraces her, and manipulates her so her back is turned as Rubberlips scuttles out the door.

    Minerva says she's going back to Mexico with Aaron to prevent his having a liaison with this self-same Pamela. Minerva goes to take a bath, Aaron runs around the side of the house and says goodbye to his amante, who is very humiliated but understanding.

    Back home, Pamela's parents tell her she needs to break off with Aaron, and she says it's a good idea, but she'll need their help.

  • Johnny Molina (my subtitles have him as Jhony), Aaron's mafioso accomplice/secretary, is upset that Aaron's leaving to go back to Mexico, there are lots of important meetings lined up, it's risky to blow off these VIPs. Aaron is renting a jet and plans to buy it. Minerva asks, with what money?, and he says, "I'm doing some very important business." He slaps her belly several times and tells her to get pregnant right away.

  • Benvenuto, looking very spiffy, picks up Gav, she's wearing her spiffy purple evening gown. As he compliments her, our cretinous stalker is watching from his car. Rod grinds his teeth to see them embrace and drive off. [If you like the sound of Italian and want to see a tv mini-series which is LIGHT YEARS better than this one, and with UTTERLY GORGEOUS leads, I highly highly recommend La Meglio Gioventu, "The Best of Youth." Ay caray. -- Ed.]

    They sit somewhere and Gav talks about Rod. "His marriage is sacred. You're my only friend, I opened my heart to you that day you opened your hand." (Flashback to him saving her in Paris.) He feels bad that his help led to her trip to London where she got hit by a car and lost her baby. "No, I had to meet my cruel, ferocious destiny. It's the life I'm fated to live." Later she dreams about walking with Rod, both of them in white, him saying "you're the only woman who lights my fire!"

    Rod, utterly incensed that Gav is going on a date (while he himself gets in bed with a wife every night), drives home hyperventilating, thoughtbubbling very loudly to Gav: "It's all YOUR FAULT, it's YOU deciding my destiny!"

    At home he tells Isa he'll do the artificial insemination thing, he wants a kid ASAP. She embraces him, he scowls fiercely behind her back. In her usual red satin shortie, she thoughtbubbles: "I won't worry about his motives. The child will be my triumph over Gaviota."

  • In New York Daniela (the nice sister as opposed to whiney Sofia) (my only complaint is I hate her hat and her eye shadow) has her very own stalker. He's left her a rose and slid about 1,000 lousy portraits of her under the door, along with a note that says her light blinded him when he first saw her but now he NEEDS her illumination. She's enchanted but I think it's kind of creepy. His name appears to be Elvis.

  • In response to Rod's request that he come back to the city, James says goodbye to Meliton (Acacia is listening). He goes into the house - where she has left her eavesdropping post by the window and rushed to look busy shelling peas - and asks if she wants anything from town - he's making a little trip before leaving for the city. "Just some poison to kill an asqueroso (revolting, disgusting) rat that's hanging around here." He leaves and she thoughtbubbles forebodingly: "it's almost harvest time."

    James asks Hilario to keep an eye on his peanuts while he's gone.

    He gets back from town and the ghastly Acacia asks for her several pounds of rat poison. "Oh, I forgot, but I can set a trap..." "You don't understand anything," she thought-bubbles. James thoughtbubbles: "I hope Acacia forgets her fear and denounces Meliton to the authorities."

  • Clarita annoys me so intensely! Luckily her only appearance in this episode is in her new candystriper outfit - she's volunteering at the hospital. There's a shouting patient, Clara goes in with her rosary and starts praying for him, he yells she should stop and that God forgot him a long time ago, she says it's a sin to reject God. He complains he's asked God loads of times to raise him up out of bed. She annoyingly says, "God's not deaf so He must need you here in bed."

    The yelling patient says what I'd like to: "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!!!!"

  • It's the new day, Isa calls Rod and says there's an appointment with the turkey-baster doctor tomorrow. Rod tells Gav he's gonna have a kid with Isa "to strengthen my marriage and cure me of the sickness of loving you too much."


Advances for tomorrow: Rod don't look too cured to me.

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Zorro, May 22 - there's a hit out on the Marquesa, Esme's fake body is found and SK hangs with the lepers.

Sgt. Garcia has come to the hacienda to tell Diego that he found the body of a woman in the ocean. It was completely mangled. Diego and Bernardo leave immediately to go see the body without giving Garcia the chance for any refreshment.

Montero inspects the body he will try and pass off as Esme. A guy says that it was his wife who died a few days ago. He followed Montero’s instructions, dug her up, prepared her and gave her to the soldier. [If Diego can’t tell the difference between a body that was buried and one that was in the sea, he’s an idiot.] Montero pays the body snatcher and warns him to keep his mouth shut.

Back at the broken record of FS and MP. He protests his love and she denies it and asks him to leave her alone. FS says, ‘ok, but only if I leave with your kisses on my body.’ He’s moving in for the kiss and MP is protesting when PT bursts in commanding FS to leave MP in peace and he’s packing his sword.

Olmos has come to see the sorceress, Selenia, to ask for a love potion. She says that sort of work is below her. Olmos says that what he had heard about her wasn’t true then. Selenia said that she wasn’t aware anyone knew of her in America. What has Olmos heard? Olmos describes someone with powers to see the future, speak to spirits, raise the dead, etc. Having received this flattering response, Selenia tells Olmos that she might be able to help him but it will be expensive. Olmos says that he will pay anything to make the woman he loves reciprocate his feelings. Selenia says that making the potion will require some belongings of the subject, will take some time and will cost a fortune.

Almudena is extremely glad to see Yumalai. Alej says that he is glad she has returned. They are her family and this is her home. Yumalai says that she isn’t staying. She just came to say goodbye. Her path lies far from here. Almudena is very upset. She says that she won’t permit Yumalai to leave. Yumalai tells Almudena not to worry about the future. She is here now and that is all that matters.

A crying Dolores tells Mangle that Esme’s body has been found. Mangle pretends to be upset and says she need to be alone. Alone in her room, Mangle is exultant until realizes that she has to pretend to be sad. She wonders why Montero was concerned about his baby. ‘Men are so stupid,’ she says laughing.

Aguirre says that he risks a whipping helping Esme. He tends to her back. He asks if her baby is ok. She says yes, he is very brave child and she has told him his mother will protect him against the world. Aguirre says that from now on he can’t help her much. Montero is watching him too closely. Esme assures him that there won’t be any more letters to Diego.

A sobbing Dolores tells Alej about Esme’s body being found. Alej tells Dolores not to tell Almudena about Esme. He tells her that Yumalai is back and that has made Almudena very happy. Alej has leave to go help Diego. Alej says that Diego musn’t see the body or it will destroy him.

Montero tells Pizarro about his body substitution caper. Pizarro is doubtful that it will convince Diego. Montero says that Diego will be sick if he sees the body. All he needs is someone to bury and a place to mourn. ‘If you say so,’ says Pizarro. Pizarro is about to leave when Montero asks him about SK. ‘No progress,’ says Pizarro. ‘Find her,’ responds Montero. ‘I know she is still around here.’ At that moment a letter from Duke Jacobo arrives. [The mail from Spain seems to arrive quicker than it would today with jet planes.] Montero asks Pizarro if he is surprised that he has dealings with the Crown. Then he reads the letter, chuckles evilly and says that they have to carry out this order and kill the Marquesa. Pizarro is impactado.

Her secretary warns the Marquesa that she is playing a dangerous game and she has fewer allies every day now that the king is dead. He says that Duke Jacobo won’t relinquish his control over the Queen. Jacobo must be behind killing the King as he was behind the massacre at the palace that drove out SK & her mother. He has probably sent orders for the Marquesa to be killed. The Marquesa says that she will see who tries to carry out that order.

Pizarro tells Montero that killing the Marquesa is crazy and would have grave consequences for them. Montero shows him the order and says that they have no choice. They will do it when she leaves. Montero tells Pizarro that he got an idea from his last run in with Zorro that will mean that the Marquesa won’t make it to Mexico.

It appears that PT and FS are going to fight for MP with swords but MP tells PT not to raise his sword to PT. They put their swords away and FS agrees to leave. As he goes, he tells MP that God has everything and she is the only good thing in his life.

Diego and two very short men (Garcia and Bernardo) come the prison and Montero shows Diego in. Diego has a flashback of PT telling him that he has to act like a fool or Montero will suspect that he is Zorro.

From being almost completely dead, SK is now able to ride a horse and walk around. Agapito has brought her to a house by one of those big lakes (with Coots on it) near LA that is a leper colony. SK is dubious about staying there but fortunately Agapito is one of the few men in the 19th century who knows that leprosy is, in fact, not very contagious.

Divining with a giant protractor, Selenia tells Olmos that he has a strange destiny. He has a karma (sins from a previous life [Olmos has some sins from this life, too] that he has to pay back. The stars also say that his love object is bad news and he should stay away from her. She has evil in her soul and fire in her body. She is insatiable in love. Olmos likes the sound of that. Selenia asks Olmos for the name of his love and he tells her. Selenia then decrees that Mangle is under her control.

Mangle finds Yumalai and Almudena in the corridor. She wastes no time in telling Almudena about Esme’s body being found and predictably, Almudena drops like a stone. Dolores scolds Mangle for telling Almudena.

Montero takes Diego to see the body. He tells Diego that the soldier who killed Esme has been killed. ‘It’s a little late for explanations,’ says Diego. Montero protests that even though she was helping SK escape, it was soldier, not Montero, who killed Esme. Montero says that he may not be a saint but he wouldn’t kill his wife. Diego says he wants to see the body and Montero says that he may not be able stomach seeing the corpse. Montero raises the blanket. Diego looks. Apart from a little nostril flaring, he has no reaction. [Wouldn’t Diego the fool have thrown up or fainted or something?]

Esme is re-reading the forged letter from Diego. She recognizes the handwriting but believes these are not Diego’s words. Olmos must have found a way to fool her. She hears someone coming and hides the letter. It’s Aguirre and Pizarro. Pizarro apologizes for not being able to protect her from Montero’s whipping. Esme tells him not to worry. Now she knows that everything that surrounds her is a lie. Pizarro says, ‘I understand. I would have given my life to protect you as I would have done for your mother. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to.’ ‘What do you mean?’ says Esme. ‘Unfortunately, your mother is dead,’ replies Pizarro. Esme is impactada. Esme asks Pizarro what game he is playing. She refuses to believe that SK is dead and demands that Pizarro bring her proof that SK is dead. Pizarro agrees if that will convince her that he is on her side.

Montero tells an impassive Diego that it is too bad that a pretty woman like Esme has ended up like this. He asks Diego what is wrong at the moment that Alej comes in. Alej asks Diego if this is really Esme. Diego is silent. Montero says that Diego is ‘muy impactado’ and that he had advised Diego not to look at the body. Alej is about to look for himself when Diego says that it isn’t necessary. It’s Esme. Diego leaves. Montero tells Alej that he explained the circumstances of Esme’s death to Diego. Alej says that he understands how Montero must be feeling. Montero tries to look sad. Alej then says, ‘One day justice will be done and you will pay for all this.’

Montero tells Alej that this isn’t the time to insult one another. Rather, they should come to an agreement to end the confrontation to benefit Alej’s family and the security of the city. Alej tells Montero that he is negotiating with him only because the Marquesa asked him to. Further, the de la Vegas have never done anything that they regret. Many lives have been lost in this confrontation but Alej says that they have to live in a civilized manner. Therefore, he will order his men to surrender their weapons. He warns Montero that this is only for the time being. For his part, Montero says that he has ordered his men to leave the de la Vegas alone. ‘Your word is not good enough for me,’ says Alej. ‘I want a signed document.’ ‘As you wish,’ says Montero. Alej leaves. Montero calls him an a poor idiot. He will wait until the Marquesa leaves town, then he will kill her and will destroy the de la Vegas and their hacienda and keep their fortune for himself.

Outside the prison, Garcia offers his sympathies. Alej says that he would do anything to spare Diego from having this pain. He recalls his own feelings when Regina was killed. Diego says that he will just have to accept that Esme is dead. Alej says that he will arrange a Christian funeral for Esme.

NN and Camba are helping an injured Renzo. He is burning with fever and can’t go any farther. NN tells him and Camba that she will go for help. Renzo begs her not to go. Camba, of course, doesn’t understand. NN says that she has to go. Renzo says that it is dangerous and she should go with Camba. NN, thinking perhaps, that a woman alone might be less conspicuous than a woman with a large, half-naked black man who is possessed by a devil and doesn’t speak Spanish, says that she has to go alone. She tells Camba to stay with Renzo and leaves.

Back at Spells-R-Us, Selenia, who appears to be wearing a modern evening dress, gives Olmos the list of things she needs for the love potion. Olmos looks at the list, ‘Is this this the price?’ he asks. ‘It’s half,’ says Selenia. Olmos reads the list, ‘a lock of hair, sweat, her perfume,’ he pauses, ‘her tears?’ he asks, ‘this is impossible. I can’t get tears from Mangle. I’ve never seen her cry.’ Selenia tells him that she has to have all the ingredients to make the potion.

Esme tells herself that her mother can’t be dead. She won’t believe it until she is shown proof. ‘What do they want from me?’ she asks. ‘Are they trying to drive me crazy?’ Then she looks at the letter and says that Mangle can’t be pregnant. Diego couldn’t deceive her. [Think Esme, which is more likely? Mangle is deceiving Diego or Diego is deceiving Esme?] Aguirre appears with a cup of something that a witch doctor says is good for easing pain. Esme says that the pain in her soul is worse than the pain in her body. She asks Aguirre to help her. ‘No more letters,’ he says. Esme agrees. She wants him to find out if Mangle is really preggers.

The lady leper instructs SK on how to fit in at the leper colony.

Alej orders a nice coffin for Esme from Agapito and tells him to get the body from the military headquarters. Agapito says that he will take care of it. Agapito is getting ready to go out when Pizarro appears. He gives Agapito the bad news that they have to go dig up SK. Agapito is impactado.

Diego tells PT and Bernardo that the body isn’t Esme. PT says that this is absurd. Why would Montero try and deceive us? [You need to ask?] Diego seems to think that Montero knew that the body wouldn’t fool him and did it to raise his hopes that Esme is alive. [This doesn’t make any sense but whatever.] Diego tells PT and Bernardo that he is going to the prison tonight.

The credits roll.

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