Saturday, September 15, 2012
Weekend Discussion: Witticisms; Telenovela Greeting Cards-9/15/12
In one of this week's discussions, the Abismo gang noticed a repeated sequence of various characters expressing sympathy to someone because his mother was such a very, very...grave disappointment. It occurred to us that we could make a killing in Telenovelaland by developing a line of appropriate greeting cards for just these sorts of situations...por ejemplo:
Tu mamá es ramera, yo sé
Qué pena contigo mi güey
Pues ni modo, compadre
Lo que hizo tu madre
No fue por tu culpa --
¿o qué?
(Thanks, NovelaMaven!)
What kinds of greeting cards do you think might come in handy for our imaginary friends? Feel free to dig in in either Spanish or English (or Spanglish) with themes, rhymes or designs.
Here are a few more ideas to get you started:
Congratulations!
...on your fake pregnancy
...on your successful embezzlement scheme
...on losing your virginity/fetching up pregnant (combined card)
So sorry
...your rapist got out of jail
Best wishes for a speedy recovery
...from your fall down the stairs
...from your golpeazo
...from your pivotal automobile accident
So have at it -- we know how clever you are!
Thursday, December 08, 2011
The Pear Robe Project
The sexy, interesting, and sometimes just bizarre wardrobe of our TN characters, particularly our heroines, provides an endless source of conversation on this blog. As does the re-use of props and clothing in multiple TNs. But never has a recycled TN clothing item been more used, debated, and immortalized than THE PEAR ROBE.
You know the robe I’m talking about. It’s legendary! Kind of like Fafy Cuenca! White terry cloth. LARGE black and green pears all over. It has been donned by an assortment of TN ladies—heroines and villainesses alike. I decided to hunt down this often sighted, but never photographed (at least not on this blog) clothing item, and capture its image. Here is the result.
Perfect Wedding Day Attire- En Nombre del AmorBefore the ill-fated nuptials between bad girl Romina and her best friend Paloma’s one-true-love Emiliano, Romina donned The Pear Robe, and her bridal tiara. She was positively glowing from her victory in fooling Emiliano into believing that the baby she was carrying was his, and not that hunky bad boy German’s. Not even the shock of finding out she was bleeding, and likely miscarrying, was going to keep her from walking down that isle.
Romina gets her tiara on just right, but then gets a nasty surprise when she sits on the porcelain throne.The Look of Innocence- Llena de Amor
Kristel has just been rolling around in bed with her lout of a boyfriend Mauricio (aka Rapey Snake). Unfortunately, the maid tattled on her to Mama Fedra who has called on henchman Bernardo to kick the locked door down. Kristel may be a fresa, but she’s no dummy. She’s thrown Mauricio off her second floor balcony, hopped quickly into the shower to get that wet look, and emerged from her bathroom in her beloved Pear Robe to find out what all the fuss is about. She was just taking a shower, by herself, after all.
Kristel perfects her look of innocent confusion in front of an incredulous Fedra and Bernardo
Anguish and Despair Wear- Hasta Que el Dinero Nos SepareAfter hating him, then fighting her feelings, then falling madly in love with him, Alejandra must give up her Rafael. This leads to endless nights of sorrow and tears like this one.
What could be better to wear when one is in the depths of despair than a comfy robe of pears?
Phantoms, Panic, and Pears- Soy tu DueñaOscar the Not-So-Friendly Ghost has come to visit evil Ivana once again. Maybe he’s mad that she killed him? Or he just might be trying to tell her that that Pear Robe is a major fashion faux pas.
This is the most clothing we ever saw Ivana wear
Random Pear Sightings- Ni Contigo Ni Sin TiI’m not even watching this TN, but I was going along, minding my own business, working from home with the tv on in the background, and of course checking in on CarayCaray and gossiping about The Pear Robe, when what should appear, but THE PEAR ROBE?! This pretty young lady was carrying it nonchalantly, as she blew off this nice young man who seems to really like her. Obviously her taste in bathrobes does not bother him.
Did I conjure up the Pear Robe just thinking about it?
Honorable Mentions
There are rumors that The Pear Robe made an ap-pear-ance in Un Gancho al Corazon and Mañana es Para Siempre (MEPS), two TNs I have seen. I seem to remember it appearing in those too, but can’t remember the exact scene, nor who the un-lucky wearer was. I have also been told it appeared in Juan Querendon, a TN I did not see, on a character named Marley.
I for sure remember this similar robe from MEPS, worn by our heroine Fernanda on her wedding day. Instead of pears, the robe is covered with flowers. Perfect for a sweet heroine filled with doubts about marrying her hot fiancé (Sergio Sendel), when her hot one-true-love (Fernando Colugna) is still out there somewhere. Why is THE PEAR ROBE so popular, while this one has disappeared into the back of Televisa’s wardrobe closet?
Flowers vs. Pears, which do you prefer?
Have you spotted The Pear Robe?
Labels: amor, dinero, gancho, humor, Juan, llena, manana, stud, telenovelas, weekend
Saturday, July 09, 2011
A little chiste for Triunfo fans
Sunday, September 05, 2010
A comment on the genesis of a novela, by Yiddish author Sholem Aleichem
Hello friends, I'm in Berkeley where I can't watch Univision, que colmo, but I'm working on a translation of "Khasrileke Progress." In the passage below, the author, ostensibly visiting the town of Kasrilevke, notices how they draw in their readers with a crazy novela that sounds like the ones we watch!
During the time I was in Khasrilevke, both local newspapers, "The Yarmulke" and "The Cap," published a highly interesting and thrilling novel. One called it "The Forbidden Kiss from the Stolen Bride" and the second called it "The Stolen Kiss from the Forbidden Bride."
As the above-mentioned Khasrilevke highbrow led me to understand - confidentially, as usual - the said novela was taken from an old Russian book through the efforts of two literati, who endeavored to stretch its plots out as thinly as possible in all directions to make it longer, and - in order to keep the public in suspense - they were constantly thinking up new sensations, suddenly coming up with a fresh, healthy hero, lively right off the bat, who was not slow to bring a couple of women down from the Other World if it suited them.
And if you like, they'll start right over again from the beginning...
The truth must be told, however: in Kasrilevke the said novela was being read with great eagerness. People lick their fingers over it, looked forward to it. Morning barely passes, they throw themselves at the "Forbidden Bride."
In the normal course of things, there'd have been an end to it long ago. The authors themselves were hard-pressed to continue drawing out the suspense. They'd killed off the novela's protagonists long before: some had been hung, some poisoned, some shot. But in the course of their dismal competition, the editors demanded the story be drawn out still more: neither wanted his story to end before the other's.
During that time I was in Kasrilevke, it happened that some of the story's heroes were being shot for the THIRD time, and the Forbidden Bride had been stolen twice - kidnapped and tortured, thereafter sought and found, then stolen again, and again murderously tortured. There was just no end to these authors' atrocities - I have no idea what they were thinking!
As the above-mentioned Khasrilevke highbrow led me to understand - confidentially, as usual - the said novela was taken from an old Russian book through the efforts of two literati, who endeavored to stretch its plots out as thinly as possible in all directions to make it longer, and - in order to keep the public in suspense - they were constantly thinking up new sensations, suddenly coming up with a fresh, healthy hero, lively right off the bat, who was not slow to bring a couple of women down from the Other World if it suited them.
And if you like, they'll start right over again from the beginning...
The truth must be told, however: in Kasrilevke the said novela was being read with great eagerness. People lick their fingers over it, looked forward to it. Morning barely passes, they throw themselves at the "Forbidden Bride."
In the normal course of things, there'd have been an end to it long ago. The authors themselves were hard-pressed to continue drawing out the suspense. They'd killed off the novela's protagonists long before: some had been hung, some poisoned, some shot. But in the course of their dismal competition, the editors demanded the story be drawn out still more: neither wanted his story to end before the other's.
During that time I was in Kasrilevke, it happened that some of the story's heroes were being shot for the THIRD time, and the Forbidden Bride had been stolen twice - kidnapped and tortured, thereafter sought and found, then stolen again, and again murderously tortured. There was just no end to these authors' atrocities - I have no idea what they were thinking!
Labels: humor, telenovelas
Saturday, October 04, 2008
OT: Blog Mom Paints Sarah Palin Postcard! For Sale!
Yes, I know I said no politics. I know I know! And I know this is not an art blog! I know! I know!But, I just painted this and I liked it so much I've ordered postcards made up, they should arrive by October 6 or so. You can buy a pack of five postcards for $5.00 plus $2.00 handling via PayPal:
Click on the picture for a larger view.
OK, don't flame me. Now back to our regularly scheduled activities...
Labels: announcements, humor
Friday, August 31, 2007
Some Telenovela Humor
A friend found this for me. I posted a link in the Destilando comments yesterday, but figured out how to embed it in a blog post so that everyone can see it. :-)
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Labels: announcements, humor
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
More "out of context quotes" as Chris calls them.
You can see the next batch of funny quotes from this blog - many of them picked by Marcelis, thanks dear! - at my other blog Pratie Place. And remember, if you have a favorite you'd like me to include next time, send it my way... thanks all for being so funny...
P.S. in particular, I don't follow Zorro or Accorolada so those shows are not represented, which is unfair!
P.S. in particular, I don't follow Zorro or Accorolada so those shows are not represented, which is unfair!
Labels: announcements, humor
Friday, May 25, 2007
Comment on plastic surgery
I read in the Wall Street Journal that "Dry Eye Syndrome" has exploded, reason: many people with facelifts cannot close their eyes all the way so their eyeballs are drying out all day and night...Labels: announcements, humor
Friday, May 18, 2007
I put up more of your quotes at my other blog...
Here you go: more quotes from our beloved commenters and bloggers, as requested
Somebody sent me some of these. I just CAN'T keep track of all our posts, so if you write something particularly juicy - or if something somebody else wrote made you spit up on your keyboard - please feel free to email it to me and I'll save it for the next compendium.
Thanks all you funny people!
By the way, a guy who blogs the hispanic media contacted me today to do a story about our blog. I'll let you know if/when something materializes...
Somebody sent me some of these. I just CAN'T keep track of all our posts, so if you write something particularly juicy - or if something somebody else wrote made you spit up on your keyboard - please feel free to email it to me and I'll save it for the next compendium.
Thanks all you funny people!
By the way, a guy who blogs the hispanic media contacted me today to do a story about our blog. I'll let you know if/when something materializes...
Labels: announcements, humor
Friday, April 06, 2007
Some "good ones" from Caray chosen by Marycelis...
... can be seen over at my Pratie Place blog. Thanks, Marycelis! I haven't had time to make my own selections recently but I'll try to do better in future...
Labels: announcements, humor
Sunday, February 11, 2007
For your pleasurable review...
... I posted some of my favorite recent comments and bits of recaps from Caray at my other blog - see this post at Pratie Place. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Somebody asked where part one was. It's here.
UPDATE: Somebody asked where part one was. It's here.
Labels: announcements, humor
Thursday, October 12, 2006
"Is there divine justice for cheating spouses?"
I thought you might enjoy knowing somebody found our site using that search on Google. We were on the first page of results.
OK, everybody, term paper: Do telenovelas answer that question? Your response should be one page or less, double-spaced.
OK, everybody, term paper: Do telenovelas answer that question? Your response should be one page or less, double-spaced.
Labels: announcements, humor
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Catherine on Nutrias and also on Luis
I thought this was very funny. She's referring back, I think, to my first recap where I pointed out that my subtitles had mistakenly called Unibrow's new love interest "Nutria" instead of "Nuria." Thanks, Catherine...
Technorati Tags: Telenovela, Novela, Humor
Nutria comment! If you are ever in New Orleans, go to the zoo. In their swamp exhibit they have about ten nutria rats in an enclosure. It's like the biggest rat you've ever seen in your life. I actually came across some in a meat case at the local Meat and Seafood store. They had it in the meat case. Apparently they are a popular dish. ewwww. It looked like a skinned cat to me. Confirms my suspicions that no animal is safe in Louisisana! I always ask before I eat anything ! What animal is this?
I am hoping that the real, handsome, Luis is somewhere in a hospital with amnesia and this ugly guy hit him with a rock and stole his life. He will awake, regain his life and his amor and we'll finally have somebody to drool over.
I am hoping that the real, handsome, Luis is somewhere in a hospital with amnesia and this ugly guy hit him with a rock and stole his life. He will awake, regain his life and his amor and we'll finally have somebody to drool over.
Technorati Tags: Telenovela, Novela, Humor
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