Saturday, October 04, 2008

Querida Enemiga #73 - October 3, 2008 – A Busy Morning in Mexico and We Say Vaya Con Dios To Chalo

Hola, amigos/as – I claim total responsibility for typos, grammar errors, spelling errors, etc. Feel free to pretend there are none.


A nice local gives Zulema and Omar directions to San Martin, only 2 – 3 Km or so away (about a mile or two).

At the San Martin Orphanage, Lorena is receiving the very best news of her life from Alonslow—we may have to rename him as he’s not nearly as slow as he was a week ago – her real parents didn’t abandon her in a dumpster. But she saw the file! He gives her a summary of the story—they’ve been alive the whole time, and close by. Sara falsified it all and Lore’s real parents are Omar and Zulema. Sara wanted Lorena’s place, and Snortensia’s fortune. Our dear naïve Lorena wonders how that could be since they were like sisters? Madre Trinidad notes that Sara messed with them all here. Now Lore understands why she never cared about her parents. Slow points out they’re LORENA’S parents. Slow explains the facts of life to Lore—he’s got the DNA proof. Not a doubt about it. How could Sara do this will all the love she always gave Sara? Lore needs a little time to sort it all out alone.

Another nice local -- in San Martin -- gives Zulema and Omar directions to La Divina Providencia Orfanato, just around the corner. So far, locals are batting a thousand for directions. Well, it IS telenovelaland (great news, since locals rarely can explain effectively where stuff is in their own home towns). Zulema can’t wait and runs for the orphanage. Lore is still sorting when they arrive, with Slow stroking her arms and comforting her about Sara’s betrayal—Lorena wants to go back to the capital and talk with Zulema and Omar.

No need, they’re here. It’s magic. In a tearjerker slow-mo moment they run down the long hallway that is open to the garden, Zulema calling Lorena’s name. The lovely pale blonde daughter and dark brunette mother stroke each other’s cheeks and marvel, Lorena uttering one word over and over: “Mamá, Mamá.” They hug fiercely and even Omar chokes up as Lorena beams at him over her Mami’s shoulder. It’s his turn for a hug….”¡Hija!” Zulema beams through her tears behind Lorena. Waiting discreetly nearby, Madre Trinidad comments to Slow and Madre Carmelita that “they’ve found heaven.” (They’ve gained heaven). On Ferro’s UCS, it’s a 2 or so for all of them—the tears are appropriate and real. Not to mention held in check. No drooling, no dripping noses. All in all, a nice tearjerker for the UCS. Slow tells the Madres that Lorena deserves it (heaven).

The new Happy Family talk about how they hit it off right from the start. Omar reminds Lore about when he told her she’ll always have a family with them. He trusted her. More sweet family reunion talk. Lore will never get tired of saying Mamá. Zulema will never get tired of hearing it. More hugs, more tears.

Maruja and Jaime just have to see how the divorce process is going, so they check with the court. Jaime is sure that Rogelio is probably way far away by now. He speaks for Maruja—the desk clerk takes the details of the paperwork from Maruja, though, and it looks like Rogelio hasn’t put in any appearances, right? All that’s left is for the judge to sign the docs. “Then it’s a done deal?” Maruja has a “that’s way too good to be true” look. Yep, you’re good to go, the gal tells her. Jaime and Maruja hug and giggle.

The Madres with Slow in tow decide the Happy Family is having way too much fun without them and come to introduce themselves. Zulema wants to know if they’ve known Lore forever—yep, they took care of her since she was an infant. Madre Trinidad comments on bawling Lore out, and Lore protests—she was just helping me when I got into messes, Lore vows. And Madre Carmelita was my accomplice. They all laugh and Zulema and Omar thank them for taking such good care of Lore. Zulema calls Slow over, because they owe this happiness to him. Lore and Slow glance at each other awkwardly over Zulema’s head while she beams and the four of them stand arm in arm. [Ed. Note: I hate to say it, but this looks like a family portrait and could be a sign of the future, DRAT.]

Sara has discovered the underbelly of the D. F. and has come to purchase nutritional supplements. The grease ball looks around over his shoulders, then demands his money. Sara hands him a wad; he gives her the capsules in a little plastic baggie and asks if they’re for her. What difference does it make? He just wants her to know that more than three of these and she’s out for the count (you won’t live to tell it, no lo cuentas, my best guess). She thanks him as he goes and mutters to her imaginary friend that’s why she bought them, to get him/her out of this world.

As dark falls, the new Happy Family Reunion is still going on. They marvel at the reunion; Lore can’t believe these are her parents. How she envied Sara for having such a lovely family. Omar notes Sara’s not worth the trouble. Zulema wants to see the silver lining—if Sara hadn’t tried to take Lore’s place, they might never have found out about Lorena. They all smile and coo. Omar comments that Zulema is very positive at the moment and that isn’t always the case. Zulema is the happiest girl in the whole USA—oops, wrong song. She can’t wait to tell the other kids. More rounds of “I loved them from the moment I met them.” Zulema felt guilty liking Lore better than Sara and when she sent Lore away, how bad it was. Lore tells her to forget the sad stuff and more hugs.

The Madres and Slow bring chocolate –because the rompope is all gone, Madre C cracks. Omar wants Slow to fill them in on how he found out the truth. Lore and Slow glance awkwardly at each other again.

Sara is hiding out in her room, breaking the capsules open into the plastic baggie so she’ll have them all ready to pour in a super large serving later. Ready! Looks like very little to actually be fatal. There were 12 capsules, so it should work, though. Then she cuts up newspaper the size of peso bills. That’s a stack of newspapers, all right.

Slow comments that it wasn’t easy to get all the evidence he needed for the DNA tests. Zulema and Lore can’t understand how he could have gotten the samples. He describes getting saliva from Zulema when he “examined” her at her house, and Zulema thanks him for taking evidence illegally. Then he tells about Toribio’s ruses to get into Maruja’s house and get the hair off the brushes for Lore’s sample. Tori was just as interested as Slow in unmasking Sara and getting them reunited with their real daughter. In fact, he was the first to think that it could be Lorena, because of the pathological envy Sara seemed to have for everything Lorena had. Slow conveniently avoids telling about how he tricked Sara and got her hair to prove she WASN’T their daughter. Madre T pipes in—probably Zulema will want to stay over with Lore? YES, of course! Men can’t stay here, so they’ll have to find other digs. The guys assure the Madre they’ll be fine on their own and she makes sure they’ll come for a tasty breakfast, cooked by mother and daughter. Eyebrow raise at Zulema and Lore—who confirm they’ll cook. Lore won’t forget that it was cooking that first brought them together. It’s in their blood, according to Madre Trinidad.

It just sucks to be Chalo. [Ed. Note: Actually, tonight it does.] He’s back in his dismal little rat hole of a room, peeling his designer boots off to reveal white cotton socks. The phone rings — Sara. She better not be messing with him. Oh, no, she understands she can’t play any games with him. He likes that, she knows who calls the shots. You, my king. She invites him to breakfast---to give him his cash. They make their plans. He warns her about messing with him again — she won’t live to tell about it. No, of COURSE not. Sara hangs up and plays with the briefcase of neatly arranged stacks of…money? Or newspapers? Oh, probably 6 of one, ten dozen of the other. She mutters to herself that the one who won’t live to tell about it is him.

Chalo muses bitterly to himself — he’ll have his money tomorrow, but what difference will it make without Barbara? He remembers happy, loving moments and picks up the phone as the dance music plays in his brain. She won’t take his call….okay, so he’ll write a letter. She may tear it up but she’ll at least see it first. He writes……

Sara talks to the baggie. So sorry, it’s your life or mine. A dirge plays in her brain.

Chalo writes….and writes….and crumples the letter…..and crumples the letter…..and has quite a stack building up. Vasco would definitely not like the wasted trees. Chalo crumples another one and sighs, tears misting his eyes as he puts his fist up to his mouth (with the crumpled paper in it). The dirge is playing in his brain now. [Ed. Note: This reminded me of what guys did the night before a duel, setting their affairs in order before they went off to die. Chalo could easily set his affairs in order, because he only had one thing going for him at the time, with Barbara, and no money to leave nor title nor estate.]

Omar and Slow celebrate the family reunion with a drink and snacks downtown at the only hotel. They chitchat about the happiest day of Omar’s life, may there be many more. Omar wants to know if Slow’s going to fight for Lore. Slow thinks out loud. Or does what passes for thinking. He can’t deny he loves her with all his strength. He didn’t start the investigation with that in mind, better said, he felt in debt to her. Slow tells Omar she’s engaged. Omar is mildly impactado, he hadn’t known. Slow sadly points out he let Sara mess with them and lost Lorena through his own blindness. Omar gives him a comforting guy-pat on the shoulder.

Zulema and Lore have changed to jammies and Zulema admires Lore’s precious hair. Lore wonders why she’s so blonde, which surely has been on all our minds, too. Zulema digs deep into her high school genetics and Mendelian inheritance, and notes that one grandparent on each side was a blazing blond(e). Lore is pleased. Then she remembers that she only has one living grandparent—Snortensia. Zulema says that woman doesn’t exist, for all the harm she’s done them. Lore sighs-- it seems Snortensia is very ill. She might never even learn that Lore’s her real granddaughter. Lore goes off on a dangerous path—she’ll never be able to thank Alonslow for reuniting her with her family. How could one repay someone who’s returned one’s family to her? Zulema does some groundwork for Slow—he loves you, daughter. But you don’t? Lore admits she DID love him, lots. Zulema points out that Sara was the demon who messed with them and separated them. Yeah, but he should have trusted me. Zulema agrees—what kind of love is it that doesn’t trust? And, you’re in love with Ernesto, right? Big sigh. Lore can’t say she doesn’t care, but he deceived her. They exchange loving, sad looks while Zulema strokes Lore’s hair.

Ivan’s in his jammies, too, and productively engaged in text messaging when Tío arrives home, forgetting to take his shoes off while he strides into the living room—and the carpet is gone, so maybe that’s why. Ivan greets him and Ern brusquely asks about the sibs. They’ve been asleep for an hour or so. Ern goes off and Ivan calls him back—Ivan wants to take dance classes. With Bettina. The niece of….??? Yep. Ernesto looks pained and Ivan wonders if something’s happened to him. No, nothing. Ivan fishes—you’re like this because Lorena’s gone to her hometown? ¿Qué—how’d you know? Bettina told me….her uncle went to look for Lore there. Ern looks WAY pained and gulps, commercial impactado.

What’s Ivan talking about? Bettina told him about her uncle—he was going there because Lorena was there—but don’t yell! Ern asks his forgiveness. Ivan understands why he’s angry because he’s been cuckolded. Ern hold him off—don’t make my head any hotter than it is. He calls for Fanny. Ivan shushes him and reminds him he’ll wake the kidlets and by the way, you gave Fanny time off early to see her parents. Ern curses and calls her. He “coaxes” her to come back early. She protests, but Ern cites the emergency. Is he mad? No, but PLEASE get here by 7:00.

Church bells toll 7:00 and a rooster crows as the sun rises over the Orfanato “La Divina Providencia” in San Martin. Zulema is already awake, stroking her newly found daughter’s leg, guaranteed to wake Lorena up. It wasn’t a dream? No, Mamá? No, it’s true, finally we’re together. Lorena throws herself at Zulema for a hug. They exchange happy mother-daughter now-we’re-together-I-never-stopped-missing-you-even-though-I-thought-you-were-dead-and-now-no-one-can-separate-us chitchat and loving caresses. Does anyone hear more bells tolling? Nope, that’s more anvils falling.

Ern paces, waiting for Fanny, who rushes in. He thought she’d be there at 7:00! Well, it’s just 7:10….okay, okay. He asks her to see to the kids going to school. Gina and Alex are anxious about what that means—why isn’t he taking them? Well, he has to leave. Why? To see about Lorena. HUH? Ivan comes to Uncle’s defense—he has to take care of bidniss—and sends them off for their stuff. Ivan gives his Uncle some wise advice—he doesn’t know how bad this mess it—but take things calmly, please. Ern tells him he hopes he can. He reminds his uncle that Ern loves Lore and the kids are accustomed to Lore—and Ern replies that he doesn’t know how much Ern really loves her. More deep sighs and angst looks.

Chalo has had a bad night and never changed his clothes, apparently falling asleep on top of the covers. He jumps up—he’s got to meet Sara and wanted to deliver the letter to Barb before that. (The anvils are glistening over his head). He’ll have to do it after he collects. Drat.

In the kitchen at La Divina Providencia, Lore wants Zulema to let Omar guess who made what as they finish off the breakfast prep. Zulema thinks he can’t because they cook too much alike. Slow won’t guess, either. Madre Trinidad joins them. She remembers this smell, since Lore was a little child. [Ed. Note: the temptation is strong here, but I won’t go there.] They chitchat about who fixed what dishes and how much alike they cook. Madre T is surprised, but why should she be, this is telenovelaland?

Omar and Slow are doing their part, entertaining the little girls with a game on the lawn. Poor Omar can’t keep up and thinks he’s got a sprain. Luckily, there’s a doc in the house. Omar thinks it’ll pass. One little girl flirts with Al—he should play with them. She puts her hands around his waist and he beams at the attention while the other girls whine about her. Omar wants them to give him a chance. They begin to bat the giant ball around again. Does this game have a structure and rules, or what? It’s definitely not 4-square.

Sara’s ready for her big day. She’s ordered breakfast, apparently for both her and Chalo, and all that remains is for Chalo to show. She thanks the waiter and waits until he leaves to pour the nutritional supplements into Chalo’s OJ, stirring it well into the commercial.

In a lovely jungle setting, Vasco enters the office of a guy who is clearly In Charge. Vasco asks if he’s Don Filomeno, the guy in charge of the Forest Resources. Yeah, so? Well, Vasco and his folks have come to release the parrots bred in captivity for this not-for-profit (non-governmental) program (I think that’s what he’s saying – loros=parrots, crías=bred), “Mundo Inhibido.” Oh, yeah, you’re the guys getting involved with the rainforest (selva=rainforest, jungle), huh? Yeah. But it seems that the forest where they’re supposed to release the parrots isn’t there any more, someone clear-cut it. Vasco folds his arms and waits for an answer. The guy gets muy defensive—those are just birds, for Pete’s sake. Can’t they go hunt for another tree? There AREN’T any trees. The reproduction project is worthless without their habitat, which you’re destroying. PSA for preserving the tropical rainforest, folks. The guy wants to know what Vasco wants him to do about it. Vasco tells him—come along when they get the police out there. Oh, I see. You’re pretty sure of yourself. Yeah, Vasco affirms. Look, kid, you don’t know who you’re messing with here (more anvils glistening. Will Vasco get out without another head blow?) Find some other place to release your feathered friends. Don’t screw around with us here (fregar). Vasco’s jaw is set and square. We know that look. You aren’t going to do a thing?? What can I do? Vasco tells him fine, he’ll just talk to the Municipal President. Don Filomeno recommends again that Vasco just doesn’t mess around here and get in huge trouble. Vasco wonders if he’s threatening or really is involved with the clear-cutting (taladores – from talado, felling, people who fell trees). The guy yells back that what he doesn’t like is some furriner coming in to tell him what’s what. Vasco fumes at him and strides out. The guy sits down, sighs, ponders a second, and phones a buddy. Don Gervasio, did your boys cut some trees near the ceibas (kapok trees)? Ah, so that’s why there’s this kid down from the capital complaining. According to him they were going to release some parrots. Uh-huh. And the locals are ready to point them out to you. [Ed. Note: last sentence was a bugger. Any ideas on translation?] You can stop it.

Chalo is wayyyy too cheerful for his last day on this earth. He thinks he’s getting his 2-mil pesos. What, she already ordered breakfast? Sara retorts she’s been here a half-hour waiting. That’s how he likes her, a little bristly. Okay, now his money. She plops the briefcase in front of him and he’s ready to count it but she pushes the lid back down and reminds him they’re in public — “Here? Don’t even think about it.” Oh, okay, don’t want anyone to see him and then assault him. He shuts it and sets it beside him. He raises his orange juice glass in salute and takes a tiny sip. He remarks about her going to the devil and she retorts that she was thinking this would be the last time they see each other. He smirks — Does she really think so? Stop pretending! She asks if there was ever a time he cared about her. He asks if it bothers her that the whole world hates her now and he keeps drinking. She’s earned that hate, after all. Just answer my question, she demands. Well, yeah, I’ve told you — you’re the closest thing to love I’ve known. Until Barbara came along. Sara watches the OJ disappear from the glass down Chalo’s doomed throat. He continues that even if he never gets back with Barbara, she will always be the love of his life. Sara tells him adios, Chalo, and he retorts “until never.” She picks up her purse to go as he keeps drinking the OJ, telling himself “Chalo, I’ll never understand these old gals.” Sara gives an evil grin as she watches through the plate glass. And he keeps drinking the OJ as she strolls off into oblivion. Wait, he’s the one going to oblivion.

Slow is having a great hair day in San Martin. Lore greets him, a flower over her left ear. In Hawaiian culture, that means her heart is taken (left side, same as heart and wedding ring). She cheerily tells him his timing is good, chow’s on. He tells her she’s gorgeous. She thanks him—and he realizes it’s not for the compliment. That’s a new twist. He says she doesn’t need to thank him. He just got the threads tied together. She tells him nevertheless, without him it wouldn’t have happened. He knew what her greatest desire in life was, and couldn’t stand by with his arms crossed. She’ll appreciate it all her life. What does she plan to do about Sara? Well, not think about that today, for starters. She’s so happy it doesn’t matter. Slow thinks she’s so noble! He’s kicking himself for losing her. Let’s not go there. He mutters that he’s paying for having believed the snake.

Omar breaks up this happy scene with the little girls in tow—everyone’s hungry! Great, because breakfast is ready! She takes her Papi’s arm and walks away with him and the little girls, Slow looking wistfully after them.

Chalo gets as far as the sidewalk outside the restaurant with the briefcase when the drugs hit him hard. He mutters to himself that something’s not agreeing with him and staggers along for several steps, then a car almost hits him and the briefcase falls open. He sees all the cut up newspapers littering the ground, realizes Sara’s betrayed him and curses her, holding some of the worthless paper. But the pain in his gut is stronger than his anger, and he wonders what Sara has done to him. Suddenly, Chalo’s on the ground convulsing for about 30 seconds with his eyes rolling around in his head and his limbs jerking, falling off the curb into the street, and gagging into a commercial.

Chalo is still surrounded by littered money-shaped newspaper, convulsing, but he’s managed to get his cell phone into his hand when a crowd begins to gather. A girl asks him what’s wrong and an older fellow says Chalo’s having an attack. Brilliant! His tongue lolls out of his mouth a little as he tries to talk. Someone says they need to get him an ambulance. Any bets on what Public Clinic he’ll end up in? He hands the younger woman the phone, and she asks if he wants her to call someone. Duh. He can’t talk, though, because his convulsions are in high gear.

The phone rings. Barbara answers and hears the young woman ask for her. Yes, what? The girl describes helping a young man who has been in an accident and is in bad shape, who wanted the girl to call Barbara. What’s his name? He wallet had a card that said “Gonzalo Carrasco.” What happened? Barbara’s concern shows. The girl describes how he ended up in the street, convulsing. She’s called the ambulance (the Red Cross). Barbara shakes with alarm, speechless.

Maruja apparently hasn’t been disabused of a double wedding yet, because she’s telling Rossy what she does and does NOT want at her wedding. She doesn’t like Rossy’s kind of music and Rossy doesn’t like her Muzak (that she hears at the supermarket). Maru tells Jaime to advise Rossy that they don’t want their wedding to be a disco, and Rossy tells Julian to advise the viejos that this is 2008 and not the last century. Jaime tells Julian it’d be nice if someone asked them, and Julian agrees—they are the grooms, after all. Maruja interjects that Jaime’s the classical type. Well, Julian told Rossy that whatever she likes is fine by him. Maruja thinks Rossy’s preferences are going to make for an absurd wedding. Rossy protests and Jaime and Julian call for silence. Julian tells the girls that if they keep it up, neither Jaime nor he will want to marry the girls. Maruja sees Jaime’s face and suggests they forget the music for the moment and concentrate on the food. Sure, Rossy wants sushi. Maruja is scandalized. She wants Italian! Jaime’s good sense prevails—he prefers Mexican food and Julian seconds the motion. They’re the majority vote, and therefore, it’ll be Mexican. Rossy pouts and Maru rolls her eyes, but smiles a little.

Bruto is back figuring the expenses again, which is guaranteed to provoke something or other. He asks Diana why she’s not talking to him. She ignores him and he yells that he’s talking to her, so respond already like other folks! She keeps doing house work things. She’ll do it when he treats her like other folks! As her head comes up, we see the remains of the last beating. (Really slick wife beaters do it where it won’t show to the world; Bruto is either too stupid or really too sicko to figure this out). He tells her he’s going to treat her however he feels like. He begins to yell and she tells him to keep it down or he’ll wake up Saul. Bruto yells that the baby is awake all night so he can sleep all day. How come he doesn’t understand schedules!? Diana suggests that Bruto tries taking care of him all day to see what it’s like. Stay with the baby while she goes to see her folks. Bruto beats on the table and yells. Nope, it’s her obligation. She accuses him of machismo and he actually agrees and tells her not to give him reasons to lose his patience. She collects up some dishes and starts off to another room. They fuss some more and he complains about the expenses; she points out they don’t need to live in such an expensive apartment. He got it to take care of her and her baby. She sighs and continues to the other room.

Toribio has tons of points for bringing a dozen pink roses to Catalina. She’d love to invite him in but…..he understands, that’s okay. She thanks him for breakfast (gee, she didn’t get any of the OJ by any chance, did she?), the chat and the…..(breathe deeply) roses. He thanks her for putting up with that crazy woman, Amalia. (Bad move, Tori, Catalina had almost forgotten that unpleasant moment). She looks at him reproachfully over the roses. He stutters that he hopes it’s clear he doesn’t want to see her again, not even in a photo. What an old nutcase, Catalina tosses in. She tells Toribio he was lucky not to fall into her clutches. (Who’s going to warn him about YOUR clutches?) Tori says he’s lucky that he can fall into others (another reproachful look)—well, not clutches, but the lovely little hands that he’s touching. And he strokes her hand while she shyly smiles over her roses. Tori beams at her. He’s just tremendous, Catalina simpers. He kisses her hand and she tells him she’ll let him go now. Until soon, he fondly tells her…..and calls her “lovely thing.” (primor) She smiles broadly and so does he as he slowly gets on his way, looking back…..

Arturo is involved in a hot game of computer solitaire and Jacqui is involved in a hot bowl of popcorn. She wants to know what he’s up to. What does it matter to her? She leans in and sees the game—now she knows how he wastes his time. And she doesn’t? She scowls, pretty sure she’s been zapped. Catalina carries her roses in by them, humming and gliding along, actually smiling at Jacqui. Those flowers, Mama? They call them roses, Catalina informs Ickturo as she gets a vase to put them in. Didn’t he know? Who GAVE them to you? Better she tells them right away—a suitor gave them to her. What?? Jacqui calls the suitor a poor man. Ickturo sits up and challenges his Mami—are you seeing someone? Why not? Catalina gives as good as she gets, and her smile drops a little but swiftly returns when she points out she’s still alive and feels better than ever. Ickturo pries for details—name, what does he do? Some day you’ll meet him, Mami assures her only offspring. She smiles and glides away. Ickturo fumes and Jacqui smirks a little. Ickturo thinks the old gal’s nuts, behaving like a quinceañera. Jacqui retorts that he should give up the Oedipus complex. (Someone finally called it what we’ve been thinking!) He fusses at her comment and she stalks out after spitting back at him; Ickturo goes back to his game, fuming, but can’t concentrate.

We recognize the desk at People’s Clinic #23. Barbara rushes in to find out what’s happening with Chalo. Have they brought him here? The clerk looks up his name.

In an emergency room bay, the doctor and nurse comment on the poor boy. The doc says at his age they think they can do everything; he’s seen many young men like this. She finishes taking blood, and he tells her to get it to the lab to see if they’ll be in time. Chalo’s shirt is off, and he’s hooked up to all kinds of machines.

Barbara paces the waiting room. Must feel like home by now to her—this and the court lobby. The doc approaches—is she family of the young man? His friend. How is he? Barbara is desperate. He’s pretty bad. Did she know he was an addict? No. Barbara’s expression is grim. The doc asks for total honesty—whatever clue she might have about what he’s overdosed on, please share with the doc. Barbara is impactada; she had not even the least idea that he took drugs. Does she know any other family or person they might ask? No, he only has me. Barbara is close to tears. Well, then they’ll just have to wait for the lab tests. The doc hopes Chalo’s gotten there in time. She wants to see him, but the doctor thinks his situation is too serious and it’s not wise. Barbara begs. The doctor takes her to Chalo.

Vasco’s breakfast doesn’t include OJ, thank heaven, and the guy eating with him is one of the Good Ones in the jungle. The guy warns him they need to be careful—after all, they’re strangers there. Vasco doesn’t care. Someone has to pay attention and help them. Another guy comes to their table with a gift, all wrapped nicely. His boss sent this. He hands it to Vasco. Who’s your boss? Don Gervasio Arriaga. The guy gives a long, hard look at the guy eating with Vasco, then strolls off. Vasco opens it. He’s disgusted, mutters under his breath, and stands up in anger. It can’t be, those bast**ds. His breakfast buddy thinks they’d better go. (In the box it looked like there was a dead parrot, or a dead parrot’s decapitated head). No, they’re not going. It’s personal now. The breakfast buddy holds the box with the feathered creature in it and Vasco calls over the waiter. Where can they find Gervasio Arriaga? The boy looks frozen.

Barbara talks to an unconscious Chalo lovingly. He’ll get well, because he’s very strong. Chalo’s lips move and he makes a clicking/gagging sound in his throat because he’s been entubated and can’t actually talk. What are you trying to tell me? Barb strokes his forehead. The monitors look like his vital signs are fairly normal, but he’s still not in this world. She kisses his head. (Ooops, she’s left Snortensia to Sara if Augusta has gone off to the reading of the will!) Barb calls him her heaven, her life. He flat lines. She tries to revive him, to get some response, and screams for the doctor. Barbara begs Chalo not to leave her; she’s sorry for all she said to him. She loves him!!! The tears come. She begins to scream his name in earnest as the doctor pulls her away and the nurse pushes her out of the room. They zap his heart. Nothing. They hit him with more juice. Nothing. Barbara sinks against the wall as they pull a sheet over Chalo’s head. She weeps in slo-mo as the violin music plays in her head into the commercial.

Madre Trinidad sure can entertain the troops and keep ‘em howling. At the breakfast table all the niñas have obviously been dismissed because Lore and her whole group are seated entirely on one side of the table and no one is on the other, very weird. Madre T’s got them up for grabs with a story about Madre Carmelita climbing up a lemon tree and yelling about her legs. Madre Trinidad can’t contain her own howling, though, and if not for the captions your recapper would be lost for sure. Madre Carmelita begs her not to tell the story, but Madre T is not to be deterred. But, it’s so funny! She continues the story. As Madre C yelled “my legs” they all thought she’d broken one, or something, but actually she had hooked her habit on the tree and her legs were showing! Madre T says it was like she was wearing a mini-skirt. More howling and clapping. Madre C scolds her gently for telling this, and Madre T remarks that we have to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and she’s got pretty good legs, anyway. Madre C hangs her head and chuckles. Now she’s going to tell one on Madre Trinidad. More howling and clapping. Nope. Don’t even think about it. The room gets silent fast. She’s the superior, eh? Chuckling, but Omar checks his watch and it’s time to get on the road. Lore cajoles that they’re having such a good time, and couldn’t they stay a little while more, Papa? He smiles indulgently, gives her a little hug and tells her yes. They talk Slow into staying, too. It was all so wonderful! Hugs and laughs.

At the People’s Clinic #23, there are only tears for Barbara (UCS 7, some drooling and nose dripping), and regrets. The nurse brings Barbara her “nephew’s” things. There is a letter with Barbara’s name on it, much to her surprise. She opens the simple handwritten note on lined paper that was torn out of his spiral notebook and reads it—hearing his voice saying the words, and seeing black and white flashbacks of lovely times with Chalo.

“Before I depart, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you showing me that life can be good, without giving any importance to age differences, nor money differences, nor any of those things that sometimes preoccupy you. You succeeded in respecting me for myself, and at your side I felt like I wanted to learn and become a better person, also to laugh, pass time well, and ….you know.”

Barbara groans in agony.

“And with you I discovered what they call love. Fight for your dreams, your projects, your ideals. Even from afar I will always be thankful for all you have given me. And I hope—who knows—let me go with this hope, that you will forgive me all that I have made you suffer. It wasn’t my intention, I swear to you. I take leave of you telling you that I love you. And I will never forget you. Again, forgive me. Your Chalo.”

Barbara folds the letter again, and tells herself that he killed himself for her while the violin music plays in her head.

[Ed. Note: Now that Chalo is dead, he can’t tell the name of the forger, can he? He also can’t tell where the originals might be hidden. Not that it matters….but if they could prove Sara deliberately usurped Lore’s position, and didn’t just “accidentally” take her place because it wasn’t clear from the orphanage paperwork, they might could put the girl away for a crime.]

Back at the Greater House, Nurse Augie efficiently brings a tray, but it must be for her, because we have no evidence that Snortensia can swallow coffee. Sara strides in and asks if Barbara is with her Granny. Nope, Sra. Barbie left. Joaquina is helping care for Snortensia. Sara snarls at Nurse Augie not to give her that look of the guard dog. Sara’s not thinking of getting near Granny. She’d better not. Nurse Augie goes off to her patient, and Sara checks her watch. Chalo is surely dead by now. Yep, he has to be. She muses to herself that if what they say about the first murder being the hardest, it’ll be easier to kill you, Granny. She glances over her shoulder at the stairs so we know she means to do that pretty soon. Then we get that intense Sara-preparing-more-evil look.

Lore and Zulema are saying their farewells to the Madres. Lore never thought this trip would be the best of her life. Madre Trinidad is happy that it was there in her long-time home she reunited with her parents. Madre C talks about this gift of God, and it was one for them, too. Zulema tells them they’ll be back soon, because the Madres have to meet Zulema’s other children. Yep, and the nephew and his auntie! The nuns marvel at the enormous new family and Lore’s finally ready to hug them and go. She’ll never forget that they were her first family. Hugs. Well, since her Papa and Slow have delayed so much getting back, Lore and Zulema better just go find them. The nuns walk them out. Slow is finished packing the car when Lore finds him. Madre C goes off to greet someone else, and Lore and Slow talk about how she feels, happy about her family. It’s the best gift of her life. Now all that’s left is to confront Sara. Lore agrees; she’s not one to hold grudges or rancor, but Sara has to pay for all the harm. Lore just can’t forgive her. She gets sad and he gives her a hug, stroking her back comfortingly. Timing is everything, because Ernesto is arriving just in time to see the hug. He is muy impactado and Put Out. Ern calls out her name, and she turns, impactada to see him there. Slow is impactado-irritated. Ernesto’s face registers hurt, too.

Monday: What will happen now that Ernesto has found Lorena in Alonslow’s arms? Will the boys beat the stuffing out of each other?

Jeanne

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Friday, October 03, 2008

Cuidado Thursday, October 02, 2008: Cuidado con el lust, Dr. Headshinker

Mari is still sitting around with the ducks at castle San Roman. She wishes JM would come home. She remembers being happy in the barrio, being with Cande, and the angry Grandma Onelia telling her to get out.

Cande is talking to the padre, wondering how long Mari is going to be gone. The padre says she’s gonna need some working on, some schooling, to get her on track. Cande says you mean I won’t get her back any time soon? The padre says you can visit or she can visit you. Cande says I’ve lost her, she belong to other people now.

Aerial view of the castle – yowza! Time for a class uprising, no doubt about it. Rocio in teeny tight shorts walks up to Mari who is still holding a duck. Mari asks her if she’s part of the shrink’s family. The are friendly a bit with each other, and then Mari says she wishes he would come home because there’s nothing for her to do.

Cut to the barrio street where there is lots of life swirling around. The artist guy Vicente comes up to Cande who is doing wash and asks what’s up with Mari and why didn’t she show up to pose? Cande fills him in and he wonders who the doctor in question is. Cande says that shrink and Vicente says ahh.

At the judge’s place, JM is just leaving the room after having met Isa and Stef, and Stef is all gaga. Stef asks Cecilia about his financial status and Isa asks about his marital status. They both pretend to be sorrowful about his wife’s death. The phone rings and it’s the padre.

Mari is starting to get tearful as she tells Rocio that she misses Cande. She tells Rocio that that’s the lady who raised her and then corrects that to the lady who gave her a home after she’d grown up. Rocio says that’s the laundry lady, right? and wants to know how come she came to live with them. Mari tells them about the milk caper and says you’d have done the same thing for the starving orphans, wouldn’t you? Rocio says ummm I dunno. Probably I would have bought some milk.

Cecilia is telling the padre he was right to call. She says she’ll get some friends to donate and he says that the nuns don’t give her the whole story because they feel she donates so much already. She says thank you Padre Vidal and Isa tries to stifle an impactada look.

Mari is telling Rocio about her arrest and how JM saved her and told her she’s now like one of the family. She talks a little about granny Onelia and how she yells, and how she was so rough with the little girl. Mari says you know what? I’ll just leave. It’s not the first time I’ve been thrown out like some wild animal.

Isa is asking about how long Ceci has known Padre Manuel, and Ceci explains that it’s the first time she’s spoken with him. Isa laughs nervously and looks relieved. Ceci asks if she knows him and Isa says no.

It’s night at castle San Ramon and Mari is at the kitchen table poking at a tortilla and we see black and white flashbacks of her arrest, of the jail cell, of JM rescuing her. The maid tells her to eat up, but she says she’s tired of waiting, the doctor has forgotten all about her and she’s leaving. The maid (Malvina, I think her name is) tries to persuade her to stay. Running down the corridor Mari runs splat into JM who looks at her, puzzled.

The little girl, Mayita, is in her nightie, but she pushes aside the trunks, clambers into the hidden chamber and suddenly again we’re in Disney…. er, Grannyland. Granny appears and Mayita tell her about Mari and how the mean grandma called her a thief and wants her to get out.

Vicente is painting and Amador is looking on. He asks how Vicente can paint without a model but Vicente says he has a clear mental picture of Mari. Amador wants to know where he is and Vicente you’ll never guess – in the home of Dr. Juan Miguel.

And there we are in the castle. In one room, Stef is telling her aunt Isa that she has met her future husband and it’s JM.

In another room, JM is trying to convince Mari that she cannot go. He gives his never-fail half smile, then tries his open-lipped look, but she says you didn’t buy me and I don’t give a rat’s patoot about this family or this house. She rants on some more, then runs out of steam and leans against him. I’m sorry, she says, forgive me. She kisses his check. He hugs her back. She says you left me alone all day, I’m sick of it. She re-thinks and says maybe you were doing really important things? She sees his serious look and says what’s wrong?

Stef and Ceci are discussing JM. Ceci is biting a cuticle and looks nervous. Stef says don’t you like my choice of future husband? Ceci says no, he’s fine. Then what’s up? asks Stef. Ceci I don’t want to worry you – I’ll get some information, then I’ll give you the details. She leaves. In the stairwell, she stops and says to herself Padre Anselmo Vidal! How is it possible?

Back in Grannyland, Granny is saying the young woman is good, probably she just got off on the wrong path and that’s why she’s different from other people Mayita knows. Mayita says she’d like to talk to her but the mean grandma won’t let her. Granny says Mari needs love and Mayita could help her feel better. Mayita says how come my mama hasn’t come back? Granny looks heavenward and says sometimes God sends you things at the time you least expect them. Mayita says why are you so good and so pretty? You never say things that hurt me, and mean Grandma Onelia always does. Granny says because you are the person I love most in the world of the living. Mayita snuggles up to her and soaks up love.

Now Mari and JM are sitting on the stairs. She says tell me what’s wrong (he looks exactly the same if you ask me) and he says, nothing. She asks if she can go see Cande and Cuate, but JM says it’s nighttime and he doesn’t want her going, particularly alone. He promises to take her tomorrow.

She says you didn’t ask if I was good today – I was, or rather I think I was. That old windbag yelled at me and told me I had to leave. JM looks puzzled.

At the artist’s studio, Amador is asking why JM has Mari and Vincent explains. Amador says where’s this guy’s house? Vicente says ask his cousin.

JM is telling Mari tomorrow they’ll talk more calmly (they were already pretty calm, if you ask me). She wants to talk some more, spend some more time with him, but he demurs. He says he’ll have Rocio take her shopping for some clothes. For me? she says, excited.

Vicente is driving and is on his cell with Elsa, JM’s cousin. Looks like he’s leaving her a message telling her he wants to see Mari and where does her cousin live? (They seem to have given up on the threatening angry-bee strings for his theme music and now it’s some dark piano notes.)

Cande is sitting outside with Cuate and Adrian comes up with some to-go food. Cande laments that Mari hasn’t come all day to see her, and Adrian says maybe the doctor won’t let her. Cande is afraid Mari has forgotten her and doesn’t even care about Cuate. Now she’ll be in that big house and forget all about them. Adrian says he wants to go see her and he hopes they’ll let him.

They agree it’s better than her being in jail. Adrian says he’s jealous. Cande says come on – do you really think a big important doctor would be interested in a street girl like Marichuy? Cut to JM sitting in his study looking maybe a little distressed, hard to tell. B&W memory of Mari leaning on him and talking. He puts a hand to his brow and looks tragic.

Balbina (Malvina? What’s her actual name?) the maid comes in and tells him there’s a man at the door who wanted to talk to Mari, but since she’s in bed, he asked to talk to JM. JM walks to the door and says to the guy (who we don’t see) what do you want? Wow, rude, JM!

Back in Grannyland, Mayita wants to know where the little bird is that used to live in the cage there. Granny says go closer, and sure enough a little red cartoon bird appears. Granny says she has to go do some stuff and Mayita says skeptically in heaven? at night? Granny spreads her arms and disappears and Mayita blows a kiss.

It’s Amador at the castle door. (Don’t they lock the gate at night?) He’s giving a bit of attitude and says he wants to talk to Mari. JM says who are you to her? She doesn’t receive visitors. Amador says got her locked up, huh? JM curtly explains the situation. He adds that he needs to keep her away from the bad-influence friends she was with (of course, if crime goes down in the neighborhood its’ because she’s gone, not because the artist types are gone). Amador says he’s not pleased and JM says I don’t care what you think. Please be so kind as to leave. Amador says just a few minutes. JM says not one second - leave and don’t come back. Amador says okay, maybe she’s on your territory right now, but later, we’ll see. Bye, Mr. Headshrinker.

Mari is lying in her nice big bed and is thinking maybe she was an ingrate. Plus JM is so handsome and kind. Cande said he looked half in love with her.

It’s morning now and the maid sees Mayita off on the schoolbus which was waiting by the front gate. Hmmm …. when Marichuy came in to deliver laundry, it was a huge distance from the gate to the front door, so is the maid having to hoof it? At any rate, she has arrived in the foyer, not winded, and here comes Onelia down the stairs in a stylish pajama set. She wants to know if that young woman has left the house now, and the maid says no, she’s still asleep. Onelia is furious wants to know where JM is, and the maid says he’s having breakfast. Sure enough, we see him outside alone at a table long enough for 20 people.

Onelia takes her fit and JM says Mari stays and that’s that.

Adrian is in the foyer of the castle looking around like wow! He tells the maid that he wants to talk to Mari, but she says no visitors, the doctor said so. Andrian asks to talk to him. The maid heads off to talk to JM.

Meantime, Onelia is saying are you going to make me leave this house? JM says I didn’t think of that when I signed on with the orphan, and I don’t want you to leave, but if that’s what you have to do…. Onelia says you have to throw her out and she stomps off.

The maid comes up and says there’s another visitor. JM says no visitors and I don’t want to talk to him. He changes his mind and heads into the house. He recognizes Adrian as the boyfriend. JM says he’s responsible for her now, but Adrian says that could change at any minute and I’ve come to take her home with me.

At the studio, Amador is showing some temper. He’s furious that JM threw him out. One of the artist girls points out that the law is on JM’s side and that he saved her from prison. Amador says he knows important people and he’ll do something! He has to see her!

JM is explaining to Adrian that he has to keep her away from the bad element she was hanging out with. (Such tact, JM!) Adrian says I’m not from that group. What do you do, asks JM? Adrian says I work in an office during the day and I study at night - you have no right to tell me I can’t talk to her. JM says if you’re so decent why couldn’t you keep her away from those bad types? Adrien says I tried to and JM says well, you didn’t succeed, so now I’m going to. He walks off. Adrien says this isn’t the last of it! You have to right to keep her from the people she loves. Tell her I’m here.

Mari has showered and she tells the maid that she loves the hot showers there. The maid tells her Adrian is downstairs, but Mari makes a little face and says she’s mad at him right now. But she’ll go down. She gets her one outfit from the vast empty closet.

Outside Adrian is cooling his heels. JM walks right by him as if he doesn’t exist and gets in his fancy car and drives off. Meantime, Mari slides down the banister, then goes out to see Adrian. She’s glad to see him and asks what about Cande? She says he’s her first visitor and he says JM isn’t letting anyone in. Mari is surprised. He tells her he said he was her boyfriend. She’s not happy about that, but he says he had to say that or JM wouldn’t have let him visit.

He asks if she wants to stay. She says it’s all right, she seems to belong to JM now. Adrien says there’s a way for her to leave – marry him! She jumps down off the wall they’re sitting on. She doesn’t like the idea, but he says it would just be a way of escape, he wouldn’t touch her. They could be married friends.

JM and his pal Eduardo are in an Olympic-sized pool. They swim to the edge and chat. Eduardo says how did you get into all this? Why don’t you tell the judge your mother-in-law is taking a fit and hand Mari back? JM says back to jail? No.

Back at the castle, Adrian is saying come on, you’ll be free. Mari says this is where I am now. Adrian says why - what is the doctor to you?

Meantime Eduardo is asking JM the same thing. They are out of the pool and we get some towel-draped beefcake. Eduardo says come on, be honest with me and JM says yes, there is something more, Mari makes me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m confused. When she gets next to me, she makes me want to embrace her, to kiss her.
I’m in love with her.

Eduardo says love, ha! She knows what she’s doing. JM says no, she’s innocent and doesn’t know how I feel. Eduardo says come on, she comes from the streets, she knows.

Adrian is still trying to sell his marriage idea. He asks if Mari’s in love with JM. She looks defiant.

In the looker room, the guys are towel-less and we can see where William Levy’s true talent lies. But back to the plot: he tells skeptical Eduardo that he’s sure Mari views him as a brother, she’s as innocent in her manner as Mayita is. JM talks about Mari’s skin, her lips, her youth. When those lips are near him, why, he just wants to plant a big ol’ beso on them. He says he doesn’t want to do anything stupid. Eduardo says then she needs to be out of his house.

Mari is telling Adrian that if she married him she’d be more trapped than she is here with JM. He says he’d give her every freedom. Sez you now, says Mari.

JM says to Eduardo that he has to keep her out of jail, protect her. Eduardo says you have to protect yourself first. JM says I guess you’re right.

Adrian tells Mari she’s stubborn. She says JM is like a brother and he’s going to improve her, though she’s not clear exactly in what way. She says if you don’t believe me, tough. She rushes him off and says tell Cande and the padre to visit me. He wants to stay, but she smilingly says she’s start a fight with him and they won’t allow him back. He leaves reluctantly.

Mari goes to her room and flops on the bed, saying all guys are alike. She decides to watch TV, but can’t work the remote. She finds a button the TV and some singers come on. She dances around and pretends to sing into the remote.

Cut to Onelia who is having a fit, demanding of Balbina to tell her where that music is coming from. She rushes into Mari’s room and turns off the set. They glare at each other.
Outside, JM pulls up. Mari says why did you turn off my TV? Onelia says I don’t have to explain anything to you. They get in a shoving match, Onelia even kicks out at her. Balbina tells JM thank goodness you’re here! He runs off to see. Mari has had Onelia down on the bed, holding her wrists, but by the time JM arrives they’re up again. Onelia says she attacked me! She has no respect! She tells JM to throw Mari out. Mari says you started it from the first time you saw me. Old lady! Old windbag!

Mari tells JM I was watching TV, listening to music and she came and turned it off and then she shoved me. He looks amused. They throw insults. Mari says is playing music forbidden here? Onelia says, yes, we’re in mourning. Mari turns serious. Onelia says to JM you won’t throw her out because she’s pretty, a woman.

Avances: JM sits on his vast bed in his vast bedroom and agonizes.

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Fuego 10-02 "The Babe is Biden her Time & Sarita is a Painlen in the Ass"





The title in no way, shape or form refers to any living or dead person.

We rehash Franco crying into the pan, as what with all the recent events, the mortgage, the lack of funds and most especially the depleted store of Juan’s sweating salt, well someone has to add the missing ingredient. Franco hears the whinnying of Capricho, I don’t speak Spanish, but I am the horse whisperer.
Capricho is all shades of happy, that he is kicking up his heels and visiting the ladies, life is good without 210lbs. of stupid on his back.

Now we see a rehash of “Burning the Witch at the Stake”, this seems a bit strange as none of the milling extras are wearing shoes with big silver buckles and the diaper wearing Shaman isn’t going by the name, Reverend GoodSoul and no Indian woman named “Charity Goodbody” has cast a stone, we see the moon turn ewwww Blood Red, the clouds turn purple, the wind blows. Juan wanders out of the foliage, he is all bloody, nasty, dirty , grunting and spots one of the locals eating a mango. The native version of popcorn at a Chuckie Movie. Juan reaches for it, but alas falls to the ground, this is a good thing as his hands looked rather dirty and that would be unsanitary.

Now let’s go on over to the Brigadoom version of Mt. Sinai. Rigo’s Ma and Brother are nervously waiting the lab results of the tumor diagnosis. In a fit of bad acting and extreme drama; the doctor drags the drama out, just like Monty Hall used to do before the prize behind door number 3 was revealed. It’s benign..the tumor is benign, thank gawd they went for the whole enchilada and didn’t take the Microwave, flatscreen, fireplace implements and just leave. Okay so, Ma & Bro are thrilled.

For some reason the appearance of the swamp monster has gotten babe doctor a stay of execution. We see Babe and Silvester leaning over the moaning, groaning and now several days of beard growth Juan. Babe tell Silvester that she has to strip Juan down and clean him up. Silvester is horrified that Babe Doctor would strip Juan down, but Babe says after all she is a doctor. She sends Silvester to go get some water. She pulls down Juan’s Pants and EGADS he is wearing Oscar’s missing bikinis. No wonder Oscar is in such hawt pursuit. We know this is important crap cause we see several frontal scenes of Juan from his chest to his knees, in color, in black and white, now color , now black and white. OMG it was like watching a Fellini film. So tasteful, so adding to the story line and in no way just cheap exploitation..Juan has a fever and is tossing, turning screaming out the name Libia, my lil sister, Mi Nina, Mi Nina..moan, groan. Babe Doctor is taking Juan’s temp, yes with a thermometer. Calm down people, under his arm. She is left to ponder, ummmm, he has a sister, does he have another mujer?

I know I would be so happy if I was in an emergency room, with a gun-shot wound to the head, an eye swollen shut, and a huge chaw of dip in my cheek, and the doctor was giggling and wondering if I was married.

Meanwhile, Oscar is still searching for his missing brother. Suddenly he reaches for his torch and starts combing the brush. When I am looking for something, I usually wait until midnight, get a flashlight and go in search. Oscar, comes across a dead fire and a spit. Oscar gleefully exclaims it is Juan’s. Yes, it is a roasted Mango.

Sofie, Sarita & Jimena are sitting around chatting. I guess, the two chatty sisters, Slowfia & Sarita just won’t let Jimena get a word in edgewise. Jimena is tired of the same conversation and refuses to engage in the Reyes slamming. She literally stares off in space. Sofie expresses “Oh Jimena suffers so much…blah blah blah, to sum this up, “Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and bonds
Any heart, not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain”
Sarita, the pinched virgin, blurts out “Oscar is gone, he will never come back”. Not if he is smart; Sarita, not if he is smart. I guess the girls don’t watch “Gray’s Anatomy” and have no idea that comatose persons can often hear conversations around them. Thankfully Jimena is catatonic and won’t be able to pick up a gun and blow her brains out.

Next, Sofie is doing her daily walk of pain into the church. She passes others who are praying in the pews.
The others get up and walk out, good luck getting any one on one time with the Virgincita. Sofie does a one on one, and tells the Virgincita how bad Sofie is suffering, (as well as the rest of us).

Juan wakes up and blurry eyed tries to focus on Babe Doctor’s looming face. She asks him what his name is and where did he come from? He doesn't know, he can’t remember. Babe doctor is secretly thrilled.
Look what I found in the woods, he is a stray, he is a good boy, yes he is..yes he is..can I keep him? I promise I’ll feed him and walk him everyday after school. Pleaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzeeee. Juan asks if he said any names in his sleep. Nope, nada, none.
Silvester comes in and it is time to do the endless job of filling up the water jugs, geez people get a pump.

Babe is left to wonder why did she lie? Gee I don’t have a clue.

Now Sofie is working in the lil Shop of Crap with Sarita, Eva is there also. I guess Eva couldn’t find anyone else to completely ignore her so she decided to let Sarita. Sarita has more snarky crap to say, Reyes bashing. Sofie is convinced Juan has stolen the baby. Why in the hell doesn’t someone actually look for the kid? SEE ABOVE PHOTO: I mean Sofie does the tramp to church everyday in those god awful Queen Victoria in mourning over Prince Albert outfits, instead of aaaahhhh maybe asking if anyone saw anything or maybe visiting the hidden Indian Village. Seriously how freeking far can that village be? Juan isn’t Michael Phelps, geez.

I guess everyone is going to go hang out with Abuelo.

Now back to the hospital, Ma of Rigo visits him. He is awake after the surgery. Mom gives him the two thumbs up and tells him about the it a miracle of the tumor. No it wasn’t a miracle, the miracle is that he lived thru brain surgery in that rat trap hospital. Rigo just keeps pressing the Morphine drip, say I bet that would make this easier for me.

Juan is helping fill the water jugs. He has recovered really fast. Actually I am not sure how much time has passed as the corn is a-growin. Sil tells him that his parents died of the epidemic, now the good Doctora is giving vaccines to stop another epidemic. Juan looks perplexed. Thankfully he doesn’t remember his parents died from an epidemic of bullets to the brain. Seems like there is a genetic weakness in the family for this epidemic.

Walking back Juan and Sil pass a man and woman and their baby.
DRAMA---Juan has flashbacks to holding the baby and then falling into the vast waterfall. Hey this is important cause Juan falls to the ground clinching his head and the scenes once again so Fellini like (black, white, color).

Now as Juan & Sil take the water back, the locals are being tormented by Porn Jefe, they are dying of hunger, maybe these people are illegal Guatemalans working for no wages, in crappy conditions being exploited by conservative Mexican CEO’s who threaten them with deportation. Maybe..Just Maybe. I think maybe the witch brujo is like drugging some of the people or maybe it is a village of Zombies.
Now Juan steps in and like Robin Hood after the Sheriff; he tells him to leave the people alone. The Porn star queries, WTF does Juan think he is? (the W, being Who not What). Juan says he is for justice.
Porn sics a couple of his half ass bad boys on Juan. One is the guy who was in love with Chunky Nun’s Sister, Chunky Torch Singer from Guapos. Juan hits him a couple of times, nada..finally Juan hits him on the head with a water jug and sends the other bad boy on his way. The native women sigh, my hero. Actually, the extras all look like they are laughing.

Meanwhile, Porn goes to see Babe Doctor, he says her days or number, but give me a lil sumpin sumpin and well. Babe says she would rather die first. She has long scissors in her hand.

Now, Ros, Sarita, Eva & Sofie are eating at Gramps. Gramps pushes Eva to tell the big news, she finally knows who her real daughter is. It is Root Uribe. Could these people be any more clueless. Eva tears up and continues how Crabi gave Eva’s kid to Rachael in exchange for the land. Meanwhile, Ros is tearing up. She finally says, I’m not your kid. Nah sorry Root is the real kid. I believe her, cause Crabi is happy I will never see her, never get a kiss a hug. I’m telling you this was freekin painful. Poor Ros, I would have gotten up marched out and done Franco like he’d never been done before, then come back and kicked Sarita ass just for good measure. Eva acts like it is no big deal, yeh Ros I feel like you are my daughter.

As Eva is lamenting the evil behavior of Crabi, Sofie goes all dark side and starts in on how she will never see her daughter and leaves.

Now I forgot, that Crabi is at David’s Bridal, she is scoping out a wedding gown for her wedding, no not white. She holds a few more dresses up..most are way too young for her, it’s not that they look to young..it is well that they look like clothes a human would wear.

Fer is off checking out rings. Yeh he goes for the big one. It takes money to make money and he wants to seal the deal.

---Now at this point I must insert, we all know Crabi is way too evil to live, but they must show her getting the crap kicked out of her before the end. Remember the scene in DA when Sofie went all BSC on Rod’s blonde trophy whore wife, at the same time Rod walked on the table and Franco crawled under it? That was the best. I so want to see it. They have whipped up such hatred for her, that a simple plunge off a church tower will not even be enough.

Later Fer & Crabi show up in lawyer’s office, now I may have this wrong..but I think the lawyer said the water still belongs to the Reyes. Oh well, now then Crabi tells the lawyer that she wants to disinherit her thankless children and make Fernando the sole inheritor. The lawyer looks surprised, Fer looks like a mucho happy sex toy to a rapidly aging cougar.

Sofie has gone to the Reyes house. Franco is busy sweating into the Pan. Sofie starts in on Franco about where is Juan the baby stealer? Franco repeats his same story. Juan loved her and Juan would never steal the baby. Sofie gets that same bend over pain in her uterus. Geez, go to the free clinic and get a penicillin shot. Franco says you have been turned against us by your mother. He then tells her that Crabi said, Pa Reyes never loved Ma Reyes cause he was all about Crabi. Sofie just can’t believe it. Franco looks pissed.
Once more proving if Stupid was Gold, being around the three sister would be like having you own leprechaun with a huge pot. Sofie wanders off, no doubt to bother the Virgin.

Franco stands in the kitchen looking angry, say wouldn’t this be a perfect time for Ros to stop by for a cookie?

Back to the Indian Village. Juan is swimming nude in the river with his big blurred digitized ass sticking up. Suddenly he feels a hand on his shoulder, it is Babe Doc & her digitized boobs, she says they are alone, well if you don’t count Porn Jefe and his film crew. She leans in for a kiss from Juan’s rather scab crusted split lip.

Looks like tomorrow Crabi is going all medieval on Sofie’s ass about disappearing dead bastard babies.
This once again proves my point about Stupid, seriously…why isn’t Sofie getting that behavior like this from a grandmother is a bit unusual.

Oscar is creeping around the Indian Village.

Will some good Robin Hood person tag this for me..
And also I need a sub recapper for next week as I will be in Moberly Mo & they have no Univision.

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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Querida Enemiga Thursday Oct 2 - Lorena, your parents are........... yes I'll tell you eventually

Sorry if things are out of order, I’m doing kind of a quickie job today. I’m also extremely grouchy about how badly the Cubs are crapping the bed right now. Big thanks again to Sylvia for trading days with me in my hour of need (which seems to be almost every week).

Alonso finds out the DNA results – Lorena is Zulema and Omar’s daughter.

Lorena talks to the nuns about Ern, then the nuns almost spill the beans that Alonso visited them.

Hortensia’s nurse wants to go see a former child patient who is dying, Barb watches Hort without incident until the nurse gets back. Barb promises to watch Hort again tomorrow when they read the dead child’s will, the nurse wants to be there. Wow things move fast in novelaland!

Arturo is on the internet trying to find some other get rich quick scheme, now it’s something about selling something else, Jackie just wants to go to a movie. Arturo says she was a bad business deal, so much investment and zero profit.

Alonso looks all over for Lorena, he finally convinces Rosy to tell him that she went to the pueblo to talk to the nuns. Rosy tells Alonso that if he makes trouble with Lorena, she’s sending Julian to beat the crap out of him. Alonso just says “ok I accept your terms.” I found this extremely funny.

Toribio is out with horrible mother in law, Amalia shows up and pretends to be first his wife, then well ok not his wife but his fiancé, and ruins his date. She says if he wants war, he’s got war.

Diana and baby show up at clinic #23 where Bruno is an off the charts ass. We are being beaten over the head with how much of a tool he is. Attention writers: we get it. She has huge shades on to hide (I think) a black eye. Bruno gets so pissy he acts like he’s going to hit her there in public and she dares him to. He just yells at her to stay at home. Jeez ok we get it he’s horrible. Just give him his punishment already. Boss lady shows up and Bruno is all slimy nice and fake, so proud of his son. I hate him.

Toribio yells at Amalia until she finally agrees to leave him alone. I don’t believe her.

Julian and Rosy are picking out wedding invitations (well she is, he doesn’t care. I hear you Julian. You send them, people say yes or no, the end, right?) and Julian spies someone outside that gets him really excited. Turns out it’s Don Enrique, who must be some soccer TV personality or something. He knows Julian from the quiz show and thinks he’s great, no matter the nerves at the end. He gives Julian his card and tells him to come see him. Rosy is even happier than Julian, surely because he won’t have to hang out with hoochies while modeling any more.

Vasco is in the jungle somewhere, they are going to put birds in their natural habitat or something, but turns out that habitat has been cut down. Vasco says he’ll get to the bottom of it, but I smell trouble.

Sara is trying to call Alonso but he has his phone off. Old guy she was flirting with comes out of the other room, they are both wearing robes…. Ewwwwww they were having sex! Gross. Anyway she manages to try and hit him up for a loan but he doesn’t have any free cash.

Alonso finds Zulema and tells her that Lorena, not Sara, is her real daughter. Zulema, being fat and all, looks like she’s going to have a heart attack. She calms down and calls Omar at work. Greta works for him now and apparently wants to do him, so she’s all attitude when Zulema calls. Z tells Omar to get his butt home quick so he does.

Alonso gets time off work, boss lady tells him that since he got back from Canada he just leaves work all the time. Maybe she should just call him Bruno to make her point. Anyway he says after this he’ll be chained to his desk, promise.

Omar comes home, Zulema tells him the good news, and they head off to San Martin to find Lorena.

Alonso is already there and tells the little short nun that Lorena is Hortensia’s granddaughter.

Bettina and Paula try and figure out what’s up with Alonso and Lorena and Ern. Surprisingly it is Bettina who wants to find out and Paula telling her not to meddle. Quite a turnaround.

Julian goes to see the soccer guy and gets a job as a production assistant, or something like that. He is very excited.

Alonso and the nun talk about how Sara could have turned out so bad and Lorena so good, while saying over and over how Sara can’t learn the truth until Lorena finds out. Also, Omar and Zulema are driving… driving…. looking forward to seeing Lorena….we have all this buildup to “Telling Lorena” that something is surely going to get in the way of it. We’re going into the last segment of the show now, so I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough. Maybe she ran away to the country or something.

Sara goes to Chalo and wants him to get back with Barbara, but he says she won’t see him. Sara wants her out of the house so she can kill Hortensia. Chalo hits her in the face a couple times and says “bring me my 2 million pesos” and throws her out the door. Jeez. Sara bleeds and looks creepy in the hallway.

Rosy and Julian find a note at the house that Omar and Zulema left town, Julian tries to call but they don’t answer. They also agree that a double wedding with Maruja is a really stupid idea. Rosy runs off to work, where she tells Maruja the good news about Julian but not the part where the double wedding is stupid.

Omar and Zulema get lost, of course, to drag out “Telling Lorena”… they get directions from an amazingly nice guy.

Lorena comes back to the orphanage from her shopping trip and isn’t happy to see Alonso. He finally gets out that he knows who her real parents are. She wants to know. Instead of telling her he says “you have been close to them all this time….” I swear if I were there I would punch him in the face and scream “JUST TELL HER YOU IDIOT!” Since I wasn’t there, my wife and I both yelled that at the TV. He tells her that her parents are Zulema and Omar, she is understandably end of episode level impactada.

Preview – Lorena is finally reunited with her parents and Sara puts poison in Chalo’s orange juice.

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Doña Bárbara - Wed., Oct.1 : DB wins again but at least nobody died; (sob) Maurice leaves town

Another great episode!

The stage is set. The wedding party are in the hospital chapel ...

so is Melquíades and his blowgun...

DB has been refused access to the hospital but she forces some nurses to give her a uniform and sneaks in while Leon distracts the guards. Tony's plane lands in San Fernando and he rushes to the hospital.

Santos sees DB in the chapel and gets the priest to accelerate the service. Luisana is assaulted by flashbacks of all her dealings with DB.

When the priest asks if she accepts Santos as her husband, she hesitates and says, "no." Marisela is ecstatic.

Antonio and Cecilia take Lorenzo to the doctor.

Tony arrives at the hospital and Luisana falls into his arms. Santos wants to go after her. Marisela tells Santos that Luisana isn't the right woman for him. Marisela says, "who knows who the right woman could be?" Santos is so blind he doesn't even look at her.
Josefa sees Antonio comforting Cecilia.

Maurice & Luisana advise Marisela to convert herself in to the ideal woman for the man she loves. Luisana leaves all the clothes she brought with Marisela.


Maurice gives Santos advice:

Mauricio: You deserves a woman with a bright soul and a backbone of steel who will never let you down. And that woman will bloom very soon and give you a wonderful surprise.
S: Who are you talking about?
M: You'll see.

[M: Tú te mereces una mujer con un alma luminosa con un temple de acero, y que nunca se te doblegue; y esa mujer, Santos Luzardo, pronto florecerará y te dará una maravillosa sorpresa.
S: de qué hablas?
M: ya lo verás.
]

Finally Mauricio says, "Santos Luzardo, you're not a bad guy. You're just a man."

Mauricio says goodbye to Marisela. (I shed a little tear here)


Josefa decides that to get Antonio, Federica needs a sperm donor. In comes Pajarote and drinks his way right into their hands.
Pajarote to Federica: "After 5 beers, you look pretty good."



Lorenzo didn't drink kerosene, he had a heart attack but he's only got a short time left. Santos and Marisela are notified and who is on the boat they want to take back to Altamira but DB.


No DB tonight because of the vice presidential debates but on Friday, it looks like JB's ring is in play again.



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QE - 10-1 Wed. Will the real nieta please stand up, please stand up...

We start with Lore finding out that crazy Moni slept with Ern first and that playing by the elementary school rules, she possesses him since she had him first and Lore has to leave him. Interesting, so this is how it works eh? Gosh if I can get them while they are young and first, then they are mine? Interesting concept.

Ern wants to talk to Lore, who says this isn't the place or time. We'll talk later. Ern says as you wish.

Barb is on a bender, a perfect opportunity for Sara to mock her about Chalo. Barb says Sara she corrupted Chalo and all this is her fault, Sara says not to make her laugh, oh and she just better keep on drinking. She takes Sara's advice.

Catalina greets Icky and Jacqui with the happiest of smiles and wonders who cooked the dinner. J and I look at each other and J says, no one did, these are leftovers from lunch. Catalina happy wishes them a good meal and saunters off. They are amazed at her unusually light air.

Meanwhile Tori talks to himself that Catalina has the name of a queen. Just then Al comes in and tells him that his friend is going to run the DNA test personally, so they will have the results very quickly.

Sara shows up and greets them. They all make nice nice.

Chalo is looking for an apt. and curses that everything reminds him of Barb.

Sara shows up with dinner for the boys, but they already ate. Tori takes his leave and so she asks Al if he isn't glad to see her. he says yeah, but it would have been better if she had notified him first, he's tired and has something early. She is sad that they haven't seen each other in so long and he acts like this.

Lore agrees to talk to Ern even though they are still at the restaurant.

Sara wants to convince Al that she is the perfect woman for him and he needs to forgive her. He begs her not to make him be rude.

Ern explains that his tryst with Moni was before they were together. Lore wonders why he never told her, and he says that he didn't think he needed to make a list. She's peeved he didn't tell her because he was starting to court her, yet slept with the other and he says it wasn't important. She thinks that's bad and worries if he sees relations so casually if he sees it the same way with her. He tries to convince her this has nothing to do with her. Lore thinks this has everything to do with them since they became *pause* a couple. Ern has already forgotten, and Lore reminds him obviously Moni hasn't and he says that's not his fault, and what he has with Lore is special. Lore thinks maybe Moni thought the same thing, and now she understands why Moni hates her. Anyway, it goes on on this course until she finally says she needs to be alone and she leaves.

But she just doesn't leave, she resigns, saying that she's just too busy with school and her other job. Everyone is sorry that she can't stay, except for Moni who makes a big smile when Lore walks out. Eeewww, I'd like to smush her face in. Ern just calls himself stupid for messing with Moni. Yeah dude, duh.

Julian goes to see Jaime and Maru and they thank him for all he's done to encourage their couple hood. Uh oh. Maru thinks maybe they should have a double wedding. Julian is guardedly optimistic.

Vasco comes up the next day to find his hungover Ma. She promises not to drink ever again. He hopes that's true because she needs to look after Abuela so Sara doesn't get her way. Barb agrees with that.

Lore says she wants to go to her pueblo to clear her head. Rossy knows more is up and wants her to spill the beans. Finally she says it's true, she's feeling horrible because Ern slept with Moni and she thinks she might have to end it. Oh, please. Anyway, she is afraid she's yet another in his collection. Rossy thinks she's not and that he really loves her. She begs Rossy not to tell anyone where she went. Rossy says she'll try.

Lore says goodbye to Rossy and Julian. Rossy is still bitter about Jaime, "that guy" and gets mad when she finds out that Julian has tried to make amends. Further, she is impactada when she hears of her Mom's plans re the double wedding.

Barb is running and having quite a time of it. Chalo surprises her.

Rossy thinks the double wedding is the nacoest thing ever. Julian loses his cool and begs her to make her Mom happy with this. She agrees only if she gets to plan all the details.

Chalo professes his love to Barb but Barb thinks he was only after her for her money. She tells him to leave. He is so affected by her words and reminds her he's never asked her for anything. She calls him horrible commoner names and doesn't want to see him anymore, she swears he'll always be a naco to her.

Tori and Catalina are walking happily in the park when Pa gets a call from Al saying that Sara is not child of Zully, and Teresita neither. Tori reaffirms that the real nieta has to be Lore. Tori cancels his date because he has to go home. She wants to go with, but he says he'll call later and she walks off.

Jaime goes to the office and remarks that he's worked almost his whole life here, and Vasco reminds him well it's still his business. He hands him the balance sheets. Just then Sara interrupts and learns that Jaime will take Vasco's place while he's traveling. She leaves.

When she gets to her office none other than our resident Chalo is there and he's up to extortion tactics again and begs for 2 million pesos (nearly 1 million $) or he'll squawk. Sara just balks.

Rossy is doubling the items for her wedding when Ern shows up looking for Lore.

Back at the office, Chalo says he'll give her 1 week and nothing more, and warns she'll be sorry if she plays dirty with him.

Rossy doesn't know where Lore is but that she needed to be alone. Ern tells her to let him know when she returns because he really needs to talk to her.

Julian leaves and Rossy calls Lore's cell to let her know Ern came looking.

Next we see Lore on a bus recalling when she and Ern kissed first, and then fought about Moni.

Tori and Al are pouring over the test and Al thinks all he has to do now is prove Lore is the real nieta. Tori offers to go to Maru's house and retrieve something that belongs to Lore. Al is appreciative.

At the restaurant, Ern shows up and oh Moni made this nice little card for him. He's like, what, are you five? He has no time for this childishness and doesn't want anything with her, doesn't love her and loves Lore like no one ever. He says if Moni can't leave it alone he might have to talk to Pa. Just then Papa comes out and wonders why he's harsh on baby girl.

Vasco goes in to Abue and learns from the nurse nothing has changed and lets them know he's going away.

Ern tells Moni's Pa he's leaving the restaurant. Pa wonders if it has to do with Lore and that personal stuff shouldn't interfere. Pa says he'll be ruined if he leaves. Ern says he'll promise to train his coworker to prepare the menu and no one will know the difference. There's a ringing endorsement of your executive chef skills! Moni says she'll miss him and Pa says he can't leave. Ern says that's my final word so take it. Moni tells herself she got rid of Lore and now she's losing Ern anyway.

Tori goes to see Rossy and makes small talk about the wedding. finally he asks to use the bano. Instead he goes into Lore's room and pulls out a bunch of hair brushes. To sneaky music he puts them in a sack and tucks them under his coat. He comes out and says he has to go now and thanks her.

Zully is on the phone with Di. Julian breaks to his Ma that the wedding will be double and like the good Ma that she is, Zully says well then you better find someone else to accompany you to the church because I'm not going. Nice.

Tori shows Al the spoils and they confirm it's blond hair and that it will work.

Ern tells his staff he's quit. The staff is swift and knows it's because of what happened. He won't tell anyone why. But Rossy and Maru double team him when he comes out and tell him if he loves Lore he needs to tell her, and he tells them he needs to know where she is. They still don't tell.

Lore shows up at the orphanage and the nuns are happy to see her.

Betti and Ivan are practicing dancing when Dario comes in and thinks something else is up. He wants Ivan to leave. Pau comes out and wants to know what all the yelling is about. She tells Dario to stop it, and makes him come back with her and tells the kiddies to keep on.

Al and Tori are eating when they get a call. It's Sara, Tori says Al is gone and may not come home until morning, but he'll tell him she called. He's proud of himself for playing her.

Lore remembers fond times with Sara, bad times with Sara, good times with Ern, and Moni yelling. She wonders when she will ever be completely happy.

Sara is trying to figure out how to get the money Chalo wants, she thinks she can take advantage of Vasco's trip.

The nuns are worried about Lore and her decisions, and she reveals that Ern slept with another while he was trying to win her over. Of course they nearly fall over at this news. They understand that she is afraid that he hasn't changed.

More news we are about to fall over is this: Al and Tori get the results back. Al reads the whole thing to us, and sure enough, Zully and Lorena are mother and daughter with 99% accuracy. Impactado faces and cut.

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Fuego, Wed., Oct. 1: The bathroom's color scheme was bad, but it wasn't that scary.

Buenas noches a todos.

And I wanted to watch C-SPAN…

So Gabi tells Sofia that her daughter is dead. But it can’t be; she isn’t! Telling yourself that she isn’t dead doesn’t mean that the Virgin is going to return her. As Gabi reminds her, dead people don’t come back to life. Not so fast says Eva. You have to believe that she is alive; it’s the only thing that will get you through. Ha! Gabi laughs at Eva and her silly advice. This is the woman who sabotaged you! Are you really gonna believe her? Gramps yells from upstairs; stop beatin’ up on everyone! Ah, but Sofia won’t let her mother intimidate her. Eva tells her to come on. Gramps promises that the last thing he will ever do in life is prove Gabi’s evilness.

What does Sofia do? Well, just like every other time she pouts, she goes to church to pray, where we see Eva wrapped up, and then some third-party mother-daughter combo praying too. Sofia always eavesdrops and then gets emotional. So predictable...

Gabi is combing her long, beautiful, flowing hair, and then tries to leave the bathroom. It’s locked, but what she doesn’t understand is that it doesn’t matter how many times you try to turn the locked handle, it still stays just as locked. I’d love to know why every door in the history of telenovelas locks on the outside. Well, then again, this would explain all those interrupted-sex scenes. Back to the story, she bangs on the windows, and then goes into some stress-induced spasm. The seconds pass like days and Gabi grows wearier and wearier. She bangs on the walls, she stares at the ceiling with raccoon eyes, and she crouches at the door. It’s been what seems like fifteen seconds and still the door is locked, she doesn’t want to be alone! I imagine her sobs are ambiguous to her orgasms with Fernie. Uh, wrong show… Oops! All the door needed was a little push!

Gramps goes to talk to Padre Tadeo. He doubts that Juan took the kid with him. Naturally, Padre Tadeo doesn’t have a clue, but he scrunches his eyes and forehead to make it look like he’s thinking. He says he’ll have to investigate. All I can say is that if this investigation is anything like the one he led with the torches, I stand a better chance of finding Juan. Gramps asks if Fernie had anything to do with all this. Then Gramps answers his own question; “I don’t think Fernie had anything to do with this.” I think Gramps has lost his mind along with the baby.

Poor Gabi is hugging her pillow desperately and can barely utter an understandable word. If I wasn’t laughing so hard, I’d be crying for her. Now imagine me in a baby voice: she was so scared, she was combing her hair, and then the next thing she new, she was locked-in. She stutters on for a few minutes, Fernie embraces her, but he doesn’t know what’s going on. He instructs her on some breathing exercises, and she’s as good as new. Fernie tells himself that Gabi doesn’t like to be locked up—“how interesting.”

So Sofia and Eva were out and about and they decided to swing by the little shop of horrors (a.k.a. the tax write-off Sofia and Sarita have going). If you ask me, it’s basically a bunch of shit that no one in town would ever want, or pay for. Now, move this to downtown Cozumel and you’ll be selling to every 60+ retiree on the cruise ship. Anyway, Sofia tries to greet Sarita, but you know how she gets when she’s in one of her moods and all. Sofia, who doesn’t even have half a brain says, “I know you don’t like Eva, but try to be nice to her” right in front of Eva. And Eva, like the moron she is tries to reach out to Sarita. Furthermore, Sarita tells Eva sorry, but she can’t stand the sight of her. “I understand, hija” says Eva. Just let me be around Sofia, and maybe Jimena, if it’s not too much of a bother. Since when does Eva need Baby Jane’s permission to talk to her sisters? Bitch.

Things are going smashingly over at the usurped lands of the Reyes. Coincidently, Gabi was in the neighborhood, and tells Franco that he has no right to use the sprinklers. Yes I do. Nice defense. And might I add; there is no way in hell that one man would work all that land, and much less Franco, he’s a drunkard good-for-nothin’. Ah, whattaya know; Gramps passes through and yells out the window that he talked to his lawyer and the Reyes can use the water. Then Franco wants to know why in tarnation his father signed the papers over to Gabi in the first place. You want to know why? Juan Jose Robles loved me desperately! I was the only woman he ever loved! Well, whatever you say, but just know that the water and the land is legally theirs, and they can take it away from you—then you’d be ruined! Wait. She wouldn’t be ruined because they don’t grow anything on those godforsaken lands anyway.

So that one poor family who works in the market is in the hospital. Their son had a really bad night, but just like every other person on this show, he’s gonna be ok, but you can’t see him because he is in intensive care.

Then we see the strategically-exposed female doctor serving with the witchdoctors in the middle of who knows where. The Native Americans tell her that the other witchdoctors think that she brings death. Then some fur traders say that if the girl doesn’t accept their negotiations they will have to get rid of her. Weird… Then in some hut, I presume the “hospital,” the girly doctor is chatting with the local translator. He tells her that he saw a man down by the river. He was asking for his brothers and seemed very tired. Oh my God! It’s Juan! Only he could survive a gunshot to the head and a one-hundred foot fall down a rocky waterfall, days in a river without food or water, or his daughter! The doctor hopes that he finds his brother. Well, for Oscar’s sake, I hope they find Juan. For my sake, I hope he made it across the border, or wherever he went.

Sofia still doesn’t understand why Sarita can’t accept Eva—after all she loves them more than their own mother. OMG, we know, you told us that in every episode which preceded this one. Shut up. Sofia doesn’t understand why her mother never loved her daughters. Then she remembers all the times her mother hit her and her sisters. Like the time she called Jimena a whore—SLAP! Or the time she punched-out the arguably-pregnant Sofia—SLAP! And who could forget the time she told Sarita that she hates her guts (time 1, 2, & 3)—SLAP! Sarita tells Sofia that she already signed the divorce papers. Ah, speak of the devil, Franco shows up with the papers, but he couldn’t sign his name so he just wrote an “X.” Now she has her freedom. Now, that’s a line from Beauty and the Beast.

That damn Eva was caressing Jimena and Gabi has had enough of that crap. How dare she put her filthy hands on Gabi’s little tramp? It’s Eva’s fault that Jimena is in that condition. Eva now has this confidence thing going on where she denies everything Gabi says. It’s obvious that she went to one of those religious counselors. Gabi reminds her of the time Eva gave her daughter away to some stranger. Frankly, we’ve all heard some many versions of the same story, who the hell knows how it happened? And I’m sure everyone involved was either drunk or mentally retarded, so WTF? Don’t make me laugh says Gabi. OMG, Gabi decides to tell Eva who her real daughter is. Where have we heard this before? Turns out that Gabi gave her real daughter to Raquel in exchange for those lands. Her name is Ruth. Where do I begin? First, I think I speak for everyone when I say we sure as hell didn’t see this coming since the first day—right? Second, that’s pretty low for Gabi, but at least she didn’t dump the twelve hours-old baby in the dumpster like the teenager from Maryland, or sell her for drug money like those girls on MTV.

So Eyebrows is in the slammer, and he’s giving orders to El Lobo that Fernie has gotta learn that you don’t mess with innocent people. I bet he paid someone to hook him up with a private cell. But then again, from his little display with Pedro, he seems like the type who’d be cruising for some action. He leans toward El Lobo and whispers, “make sure to protect Franco, he needs the help. But don’t let anyone find out, like you usually don’t do.” That’s probably the last thing I would be thinking about in jail, and how does he know anything about Franco’s situation?

Sofia stops Franco on his way out. Tell me the truth, do you know where Juan is. Ok, you imbecile. Does she really think that everyone in town is running around like a chicken with his head cut off looking for Juan as part of a vendetta against her? Then she gives some shitty line about being a devoted but devastated single mother who will do anything—anything—to get back her kid. Puhlease. She needs to go jump down some well.

Gabi reassures Eva that Ruth is her daughter. Yeah, and that’s exactly what she said about Rosario, and look how that ended up. Basically, Eva walks around and treats any girl who’s younger than she like her daughter. Well why are you telling me now? Maybe because you were on your freakin’ knees every day begging her to tell you something. Gabi reasons that Raquel left, and therefore Eva will never meet Ruth, or hold her, or feel her. Or pronounce the name correctly…dammit!

Now Sofia thinks that the baby’s clothes are actually the baby. I’ve seen bad cases of post-partum, but this is border-line State Mental Institution. Yet again, so many allusions to What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Who on the writing staff has an obsession with Bette Davis? Who? Now she is short of breath, and has a celestial dream complete with wolves and an audience of Quinti and Gramps and a random horse. Sofia is walking in a trance calling for her baby. We get a color commentary from Gramps about catching Sofia, and then we don’t know what’s going on. Suddenly I completely understand how these characters feel on a daily basis.

Not that we care about this person, but those people over at the hospital find out that the guy in critical condition has a benign tumor.


Gabi’s all ready for bed, and even checked under the bed for monsters. She forbade Fernie from using the bathroom. She can not believe that the Reyes believe they can use the water whenever they want. Better yet, Fernie wants to know why Gabi was so scared to be locked in the bathroom. Believe me, I know the color scheme was bad, but it wasn’t that scary. Oh! Foreshadow time: Gabi felt like she was being buried alive, and ever since she was a girl, she has always been afraid of dying like that. Fernie kisses her and smiles. Something tells me he is scheming…

Sofia is in some rage-full sleep, and of course, she still hasn’t found her baby. You know; if I went around in tight black dresses and had my hair pulled back like that I’d go crazy too.

Eva bursts into Gramps rooms with the great news: Gabi finally told her who her daughter is (for the second time). It’s Root! It's Root!

So Rosario does some Cleopatra Dance and humps the other go-go girls on stage. You can only do so many dances to that damn song. It was ok the first two times, but then it just got old, and then annoying, then painful…

See, now that Juan and Oscar have flown the coop, Franco is in charge of baking bread. It’s sorta therapeutic, and he takes out all of his negative energy on the kneading of the dough. Neigh! Neigh! Well who could that be at this hour? Franco sees Capricho walking around. Franco is so scared for Juan. All reason tells you that he is dead—no one gets shot in the head, falls down a waterfall, then lingers in the forest for days on end. They just don’t…

Witchcraft time over at that one tribe place. Everyone denounces the “medicine” of the round-eyed lady doctor as they dance in a circle of flames. We must sacrifice her! We must clean the village! Wait! If we are going to follow tradition, it must be by the books! (pardon the expression, of course they don’t have a written language—just look at ‘em) *Lightening bolt*—there’s the sign—burn her! They tie her to a pole. A gust of wind, a crow—the signal—OMG! A hunchback man with a gunshot wound to the head! Is he gonna save her, or eat her? Or be burned alive at the stake, or be the signal to burn the other chick?

In case you care, tomorrow: Gabi and Fernie worked together to knock off the kid. Now Sofia can’t stop going to church, and Franco can’t stop making bread. Juan’s coming back, and the moment will be crucial!

Comment: do you guys realize that these little teasers are almost completely recaps in themselves. There were five words of new information: “the moment will be crucial.” Well, if that is in any way indicative of the episode I’d stop while I still had my sanity.

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Cuidado con el Angel, October 1, 2008

We start off tonight with JM and Marichuy at the jail. She is begging JM to help her , he had promised to if she ever called. At the police desk, Padre Anselmo, Candie, and some other people (can't remember there names, but one claims to be her novio although not really) wants to find out what is going on. Marichuy is crying and JM tells her to calm down. "Are you going to help me?" she asks JM. She says that Patricio is upset with her. (no matter how much rewinding I do, I just couldn't understand so this is what I guessed she said.) Patricio says something about Marichuy breaking the windows in his house. JM gives her a look that says "Oh no you didn't!"
Back at the police desk, the policia/investigator/pencil pusher asks how can you be like her mother (Candie), her novio (don't know his name), her protector (Padre) her grandmother, and her friend and she says she has no one. Padre says that is what Marichuy thinks, but is not the case. Her novio asks the policia how much to release her and they all start talking at the same time.. He sushes them up and says that she stole leche from the neighbors in the hood.
JM asks Patricio "Are you saying that she broke various windows in your home?" Yes he answers and she broke them with rocks, then informs JM that he did not call the police. She did something else to warrent being arrested. Again we go back to the police desk and everyone is saying how kind and wonderful Marichuy is and that she has a good heart. Candie tells them that Marichuy confessed to her about stealing the leche for the orphans. They ask to speak to her and the policeman says no that she is being interviewed by the judge. Candie asks who is the judge. The policia informs her that it's Patricio and she tells Padre that Marichuy broke the judge's windows in his house. At Ceci's she is telling Estephania how happy she is to have gotten her back. JM asks the policeman what she is being accused of. He says that she stoled12 bottles of leche from various houses and the neighbors said that it was her. Patricio says that she probably sold it to make a quick buck. Candie yells out not true. The policia names that lady with the curlers as the main accuser. Estephania and Isabel admire the necklace that Ceci gave Estephania. Isabel reminds her that she should remember who put her in this spot. JM confronts Marichuy and asks her what she did with the leche. She says that she stoled it for the orphans. They were so hungry. Patricio asks her, "Are you not sorry for what you did? You can go to jail for this." She answers back "No, I will go to jail if I have to. To see there faces when I brought them the leche. If I have to do it again, I will." Paticio and JM discuss what to do with Marichuy. Patricio wants to her to jail. JM defends her. After further discussions Patricio suggests that JM be responsible for Marichuy. He expects and informs her friends that he will be taking her with him to his house. He goes and tells Marichuy that she can leave the jail, but that she must go with him. They go into the foyer of his house and they talk about something which I cannot understand. She promises to change (I think that she what she says) and she kisses him on the check. I sense he felt sparks. They walk in and JM asks the maid to prepare a room for Marichuy, she will be sleeping in the house. Candie and the novio are talking and he asks Candie how can she be so calm that Marichuy is going to stay with JM. Does she know him? Can she trust him? Jealousy talking here. Onelia and Rocio are talking about how JM had Viv's stuff removed for the room. And in Miami we see Viv being fondled by Bernie (Elvis from Destilando Amor) on the beach. Onelia gets scared by Marichuy and asks her what she is doing here. Marichuy informs her that she now lives in the house. Onelia gets pissy and tells her to leave, but Marichuy says that she will be staying. JM is telling his daughter about Marichuy when in bursts Onelia demanding to know why Marichuy is living in the house. Then demands that he make her leave. JM says I know that your upset because I had Viv's stuff removed. Onelia stops him and says why did you not consult me about this matter? JM says all this happened very late and he was going to tell her this morning. Onelia keeps saying ugly things to JM. (If I was JM, I would be reminding her who the house belongs to). In Marichuy's room the maid brings in her clothes and Marichuy asks about Onelia. The maid says that Onelia doe not want her there and that she doubts Marichuy will be there for very long. Estephania, Isabel and Ceci are out shopping and Isabel she's something she wants. Pretends not to want it, but Ceci insists that she get it. Marichuy is trying to eat breakfast, but has lost her appetite because she is worrying about what JM will do. He walks in and assures her that she will be staying. She swears that she will be good and clean the house. JM says no you will be like a member of the family, not an employee. JM visits with Patricio and Estephania walks in and is like damn cutie. How you doing? Marichuy and Mayita meet at the pool. Candie and friend are walking in the hood and the lady with the curlers says a smart ass remark. They go back and forth and curler lady insults Marichuy and Candie slaps her, pulls her hair and spanks her. Onelia finds Mayita talking to Marichuy and drags Mayita away after saying ugly things to Marichuy. We are back in Miami with Viv and Bernie walking in drunkenly into her hotel room drinking champagne and kissing each other. Marichuy ponders what she is going to do about her situation.

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Cuidado Con El Ángel #7, Tuesday 9.30. She who lives in the poorhouse shouldn´t throw stones.

In tonight's exciting installment, we finally reach the pivotal moment we’ve been seeing for days in the bumpers, in which our intrepid (and foolish) heroine throws rocks through windows.

Ín öther ¿excíting? ñews, I've fínally ¡learned to type próperly!, thanks tó Doris´s instruction lást week.

So, we pick up with Cecilia telling Patricio that she had a daughter, his, after his family split them up so many years ago, and she gave the baby to the orphanage.

Meanwhile, back at the house of unscrupulous parasites, Ísabel is totally excited about living the high life instead of never having money and only having milk for breakfast. Estefanía is worried about what will happen if the real kid shows up, but Isabel says they'll just get rid of her. Stef looks a little concerned about this plan, but doesn't say anything.

Marichuy brings more flowers to the church and tells the Virgencita that they aren't as nice as Casilda's, but they aren't stolen this time. I think this counts as character development! After she nearly gives Padre Anselmo a heart attack, he tells her he's worried because the orphans need clothes, shoes, food, and milk, and there's no money. Didn't Ceci just give them a big check last week? Is one of the nuns embezzling? Mari says she can help; he says it's not so easy. She says she can at least get milk and when he wonders how, she just says miracles can happen.

Patricio is mean to Ceci after her difficult confession and says God will never forgive her and wonders how she could hide it from him so long. She says she thought she was dying, and begs for his forgiveness.

Mari poses again while Vicente works on what looks like the same angel wing drawing. I don't think he's even started drawing her in. Israel and Beatriz come in, and Israel asks if Vicente has any money, because he needs to pay the fine from the club fight and he can barely live on what he earns. Beatriz says she already paid hers; it's 2000 pesos. Mari says, tell me where the judge lives and I'll go throw rocks through his windows (I really don't see how she thinks that will help). Beatriz doesn't think she'll really do it, but we know she will because we've already seen that scene many times.

Viviana, lounging on the beach in a bikini with a froufrou drink, phones the castle and Rocío answers. She recognizes Viv's voice and is shocked. Juan Miguel takes the phone and she hangs up. Onelia asks who it was, but thinks Rocío is crazy when she tells her. Viv, meanwhile, thinks to herself that one of these times Mom will pick up, and imagines the look on Rocío's face. Mean. What did Rocío ever do to her?

Mari goes around stealing people's milk deliveries. María de Jesús! I do not think the Vatican would consider that a miracle!

Over breakfast in the national-park-size garden, Patricio says he wants to meet their daughter right away. Ceci is thrilled. There is a massive basket of fruit on the table. SOME people aren´t just hoping for a glass of milk for breakfast. Their pet deer (I assume; it's always there) munches its tasty grass.

Casilda rails about the missing milk. She is tired of that “Angel”. I don't think we've ever established why Padre Anselmo thinks she's such an angel in the first place.

Mari delivers the milk to the nuns. When they ask where she got it, she says she bought it at the dairy with money she earned. Then, eager to end the questioning, she hurries them to deliver it to the kids.

Casilda yells at Candelaria about Mari's many sins and character flaws, and accuses Cande of enabling her. Cande tells her to get out or she'll call the police, and Casilda says SHE will go to the police.

The orphans messily slurp milk, and that indeed is all they are having, while Mari snuggles a baby.

Casilda (in curlers, looking like a nutcase) whips the neighbors into a frenzy over getting Mari arrested.

Isabel and Estefanía are excitedly panicked when Ceci calls and wants them to come over. The apartment's décor consists of long shelves lined with wine and booze bottles. Classy.

Is and Stef meet Ceci and Pat; Pat looks underwhelmed by his “daughter” but is polite. Ceci tries to make Stef feel at home, and Stef says the place is very nice and like a palace. I disagree. It's really huge, but totally bland and sort of cheap-looking. I think the vast majority of the set budget went into Juan Miguel's castle, and well done, there. I love that place.

Mari fills a tote bag with rocks, then takes an arduous bike trip out to the hills to Pat and Ceci's estate. Note to self: when planning to vandalize, gather big rocks closer to target. She climbs over the gate.

Ceci is gushing over the shopping they'll do, and Stef is trying to pretend they don't need to buy her stuff while still encouraging it, when there is a crash of glass. Patricio goes to investigate. Mari breaks lots of windows and he chases her. She pauses to yell at him about fining poor people, he yells about the vandalism, and she escapes.

Elsa visits Juan Miguel in his work office (not his home office), where he is wearing a white coat so we know he is a real professional. Apparently he works for the government; justice or police or whatever, I would guess. She wants to give him her fine money, but he says that's not his job and he won't take it for her; she'll have to pay it at the right office in person. He's still mad at her for two-timing Eduardo, who tragically (for me, because I heart him) does not appear in this episode. He asks why she's leading a double life. She's tired of her boring, cushy life, and wants some excitement. Which is understandable, but why not break up with Eduardo if he's boring and you just want to hang with the artist crowd? Or is it the cheating itself which is exciting?

Mari runs into Adrian, who tells her he's in love with her. She is not hearing that.

Casilda and her posse go to the police station to denounce Marichuy.

Patricio wants to report Mari, but Ceci convinces him not to because she pities that poor vandalizing orphan child. Their daughter could have turned out like that, if not for Isabela!

Mari confesses both the milk theft and the window breaking to Candelaria, who basically tells her she's screwed. And indeed she is, as the police arrive to arrest her. She resists arrest, and a large crowd gathers in the street to gawk at the scene as she is shoved into the paddy wagon, and once again I am amazed at the production budget for this show. There are a LOT of people in this episode.

At dinner at the big house, Stef says her life is like a fairy tale. I'm trying to figure out which fairy tale that is. Ceci gives her a valuable heirloom necklace, and Isabela is rather gauchely excited about that. Stef doesn't say much. She looks like she's wondering just how far they're going to take this.

At the station, Mari explains her situation to the booking officer, then goes on about the windows, which the police hadn't known about. She begs for mercy and asks if she can leave, but he says she has to stay until Judge Velarde (Patricio) decides what to do with her. OOPS. He tells her she needs a lawyer, and she wonders how she'll pay for one, then remembers Juan Miguel's card.

Patricio comes to the station, where Mari is in a cell, and tells her he didn't report her. She doesn't think she's done anything wrong. Maybe Padre Anselmo needs to have a long talk with her detailing exactly everything that she should not do. One step forward, three steps back with her.

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