Saturday, April 07, 2012
La Que No Podía Amar #73 Friday 4/6/12 A Million Dollar Baby or Babycakes' Mistake Leads To Mini-Cupcake on the Bake
[First half only]
Capítulo 73
Lo del Passado:
Viewerville returns to the patio de los Galván to find Vanessa is still in a horrified state of disbelief as Elsa, aka Elsie La Vaca, suffers a Lady MacBeth moment. The old gal is exhibiting signs of mental decay. Elsie gloats maniacally about having done more than most mothers in protecting her daughter’s patronage from the hands of grabby bastard siblings. How? Why she intentionally kept the medicine Vanessa’s daddy, Federico, so grave-ly needed from him in the end. Vainessa should minimize the guilt associated with Mama’s premeditated murder most foul, scoffs Mama as she puts bug-eyed emphasis on the need to have Nessa chalk it up to necessity. However, Nessa (much to the b!tchy babe’s credit) is suck-it-in-OMG impactada and cannot handle the jolt to her somewhat questionable moral fiber. She rightly blames Feddy’s widowed crazy cow, for his death. [¿Qué dices? ¡Entonces, mi papa murió por tu culpa!] “--What do you mean/What are you saying? Then it’s your fault Daddy died!” [Kudos to La Dupeyrón for making her kind of crazy muy convincing!]
Lo del Nuevo:
Meanwhile, at the scene of another crime, i.e., Hacienda del Fuerte which, now that I see it in the light of day, could really use a couple of coats of quality whitewash--Ana Paula is in the office discussing the results of her talks with California cattleman, JR Ewing Williams. He, who, after seeing the sincerity in the little lady’s eyes and the determination in her dimpled countenance, took Pau at her word that Hubby Rogelio didn’t intentionally taint his stock by feeding them clenbuterol. (And BTW, I thought JR’s flat syllablization was rather convincing as a gringo bidnezman who’d spent enough time dealing in Mexico to have lost much, tho’ not all, of his accent. JMO.) Bruno chauvinistically compliments AP for her unimaginable prowess in minimizing the damage he and David Romo were intent on causing the Montero ranching enterprise. Paula explains how JR agreed not to sue or go to the police as long as she would put half of the million dollars’ worth of damages into his account after noon as her good faith gesture.
Bruno says he’s brought the check with him. Pau is smart enough to ask him to show her the bank’s payment receipt and then, how all the bookwork is organized so that she’ll know when something isn’t right –as in Bruno’s case, when the books are being cooked. Bruno raises his eyebrows in a momentary show of surprise and unanticipated street smarts on Pau’s part. The Cupcake is no SnoBal snow-job like Sinthia. Meanwhile, Hugo and Danielle can assemble the hacienda employees for a big staffers meet on the patio grounds. Bruno immediately tries laying the blame on Ro-Hell for supposedly being known to cut corners at times. Pau shuts Bruno down immediately, saying she knows it couldn’t be Rog, whom she trusts emphatically, particularly since Rog has discussed its use in cattle to her and explained how it’s a public health hazard. Ro-Hell, she insists, would never use it. Now, stop wasting time and teach her the hacienda books already!
Back at Nessa’s, Elsie swears Nessa’s daddy was already sick so it wasn’t her fault the disloyal dirt-wad kicked the bucket. Things are as they are now, she sneers, so Get. Over. It. Nessa is reeling-from-the-revelation impactata and remains unrelentingly unforgiving, even though Mama’s hysterical confession makes evident she’s legally non compos mentos--or, rather, that Mama’s mind is now compost. (In other words, to sum it up for the lesser literati of Viewerville: Elsie’s nutty as a Navidad fruitcake!)
Outside in the yard, as all the employees gather, Sin shrilly gripes to Efrain and Mercedes that she can’t believe her “idiot SIL” is organizing this. Rosaura hears Sin and immediately defends Pau. “—Don’t badmouth my niece! She’s no fool!” “—Oh no?” “—Yeah! She got the problem with the Americans resolved--and where were you, huh?” (Rosie is gaining a few points with me here.)
Pau walks commandingly through the crowd at that point. She tells everyone she’ll be brief. (Unfortunately, the espadrilles she’s sporting were a definite minus. Someone needs to drop a dime on Paula and let her know that Stilettos are the Power shoe.) Paula explains to the employees that somebody on the hacienda has fed the animals clenbuterol; she wants people to think back about whether they remember anything out of the norm then to tell her.
In the stalls, meantime, a stray doofus employee who didn’t get the word to be at the meeting tends to the cattle in the stall. Bruno appears out of nowhere. He tells the guy to go join the others. Once the ranch hand’s gone, Bruno pulls out another bottle of the illegal drug and secretly pours it into the cattle feed again.
Back outside the barn, Paula is of course, totally unaware of Skelator’s skulduggery while she instructs everybody to start working in pairs to keep better watch on what happens around the hacienda. Suddenly Sin tries pulling rank as sister of the hacendado and part owner; Pau offers to listen to any ideas and acknowledges that sin is part owner. No! None of this also stuff. Sin IS a land owner and Paula, as everyone there knows, doesn’t own a thing! Paula pulls even higher rank as La Sra. Montero and says she is taking control. All there seem to agree.
At los Galván, Vainessa still tries to reason with unreasoning Mama, saying that she’d have preferred to have handled her inheritance problems with Paula her way. (No doubt Feddy would have preferred it also. JMO.) At least Daddy would still be alive! Finally Nessa comes to the conclusion that her daddy’s death was all Mama’s fault and had nothing at all to with Paula. Bug-eyed Elsie pooh-pooh’s Ness’s concerns and goes on another rant. “—Don’t be such a drama queen! What’s the matter with you? You wanted it this way and now you regret it?”
Meanwhile at Hell-Fuerte, Paula politely suggests that if Sin wants to help with the strategery she’s free to. In the meantime there are schedules set up. (That’s the way to smack down the opposition with class!) Rosie starts griping at Bruno about what will happen if Rog is left without a thing to his name. Just then Pau’s ears prick up and asks what she wants to add to the discussion. MentiRosa says she was only wondering what she was doing out there since it’s none of her problem! (Diversion is MentiRosie’s strong point as we all know.) AP tells her everyone including La Suegra esa will have a shift.
Gus walks over to Pau and tells her they need to talk. He just came from the river and the water is way down. He then tells the crowd that La Negra’s workers are putting barriers in the river and blocking the flow so that now the harvest [la cosecha] is threatened. Bruno slips Sin a secret glance of success.
Elsie is still ranting back at los Galván. She’s accusing Nessa of having water in her veins rather than blood. “--Get with it! Fedrico died expressing his love for his bastard daughter! You haven’t done ANYTHING to get back at that bastard girl!!” (Ehh. Obviously, Mama was kept out of the loop like just about all the others.)
Once the big meet is over, Sin storms into Ro-Hells office (?) and gripes to Bruno about the way La Usurpadora esa is giving herself airs as grand mistress [ama y señora = lit. lord and master, i.e., señor] of the hacienda! Everybody knows, Sin says, that she and Bro-Hell are still the only owners of this place. No, corrects Bruno, Sin still is not. Sin yells back that it doesn’t matter whether the properties are formally in her name or not. They do belong to her! Bruno clarifies for her. “--If you’d ever bothered with the day-to-day around here you’d be the one in front of the employees today, and the one Rog would have to thank would be you.” Sin can’t argue with that kind of logic. So she angrily points her finger and to change the subject demands an explanation about his and Big Dave’s connection with the Clenbuterol poisoning of the cattle. Bruno (the rat-faced varlet) swallows hard and searches for a way to disengage his…er…tootsie-toes out of this particular mousetrap.
Back outside, once the workers have all left, Guscakes gives a jealous verbal jab to Paula in hopes of getting a little smidgen of hope. “—My, my! Who’d have thought you’d enjoy being the grand dam of the manse?” She takes offense and quickly corrects him. “—I’m the one in charge here while Rogelio’s gone, and I won’t allow the place to be brought down while he’s away.” “—Oh, it’s very clear to me how important it is for you to help him out.” Paula replies that he’s doing the same thing by his just telling the employees about the river problems. It’s just part of the job, he counters. On the other hand, she seems to have become enamored of the place. Cupcake smooths her frosting and says of course she has learned to love and to value the land here; and it’s the least she can do for Rogelio while he’s not around. Well, Gus chides, maybe she needs to decide whether what she’s doing is out of affection and gratefulness for what Rogelio Montero has done for her—or whether it is out of love. (Zingo.)
Inside Rog’s office (which nobody is supposed to be in but which everyone invades continually) Bruno agrees he might hate Ro-Hell for having taken possession of his daddy’s rancho; but plainly he fought to protect her interests when she agreed to damming up the river--but that doesn’t mean he’d be stupid enough to put Clenbuterol into the cattle feed!! Sin grabs him by the collar and pushes him around a bit. (Good goin’, Sin. Ugh! This kind of vermin makes me yearn for the Terminix Man!) “—Yeah? Isn’t it convenient that this happens to hit just when Rogelio’s not around? And just who else could it be since it had to be somebody coming on and off the property without a problem?”
Bruno says doesn’t know, but Rog has plenty of enemies. (Hisssssss! Snake in the grass alert!) It could be David! If she wants, he’ll investigate Big Dave. Perhaps he managed to get back in somehow, but he doubts it (big CYA here) since Rog banned him from ever coming back onto the hacienda grounds again! “—It better not be either one of you, because this does affect my financial interests; and I only agreed to the water business because it was temporary! However, the clenbuterol would finish off the cattle business permanently!”
Bruno tries throwing the blame to Effer now since recently Rog fired him. Sin discards that idea because he got his job back and Sin—for reasons only Effer and she know—says absolutely not, period! Bruno then suggests Sin would be better off offering her SIL support at this point. No way, José! She’ll never accept orders from that social-climbing, money-grubbing gold-digger! No, Sin has her own means of getting rid of that wench!
Outside, Gus is still pleading his case to Ana Paula. “—Perhaps if you’d have said you love Rogelio I could have stepped aside; but knowing that you still feel something for me and that you are still in doubt, I simply will not give up [rendirse= give up/accept]. AP insists he doesn’t truly understand what’s going on right now and he has no idea how much it pains her to hurt him. He says no matter; it’ll all be fixed eventually. She’ll get her divorce; they’ll get back together and get married; they’ll have a family. “—I am not marrying Sinthia. I cannot marry her because I am in love …with you! I know that you’ll get it together [reaccionar= get yourself together, react, wake up and smell the coffee] because I love you and I know …that you love me.” He moves in for an embrace and The Kiss but….she recoils from his touch and then tries to explain that “first I’ve got to know—“. She stops herself in mid-sentence and walks away, claiming she refuses to be pushed any further! Cara de blue-balled frustration de Guscakes.
Sin has called Nessa. They’re discussing Elsie’s break with reality during and after her murdering papi—though who knows since the editing here sucks again. The doctor wants to commit her [internar] says Nessa. Oh, that’s not so bad, says Sin. (Excuuuuuse me? The woman is criminally insane!) Nessa knows and admits that Mama is sick, really sick. “--Otherwise how could she have done what she did to Papi?” Sin reminds Nessa that she’s talking about her mama here and to be respectful. (Say what? We’re not exactly discussing the latest case of the flu or the measles! The old broad has just admitted to murder!!) Nessa tells Sin she’ll never ever forgive her mama for it, either.
In another part of the hacienda, Dani (whose wardrobe budget has apparently increased a good percentage along with her taste since she’s been working for Bruno) listens to Pau and tries bucking her up. Pau feels she’s failed at becoming the strong woman she’d hoped to be. Dani misinterprets and says Pau has succeeded in being exactly that, especially after how she handled the cattle problem with the Americans and the hacienda employees. No, says Pau, she meant Gustavo! Gus is after her again to get married and have a family. Dani says then it’s time to face the inevitable and take the pregnancy test she’s been avoiding. What if it’s positive, asks Pau? Dani suggests running away since things have been resolved. (Not the river, dearie?) Cupcake wouldn’t dream of running away from the hacienda at this point, she says.
Marciel races in to Pau’s bedroom to report that there was barely enough water to fill the watering troughs and that there’s now not enough to water the grounds.
In San Gabriel, Effer stops in to visit with Macaria. She refuses his company. Consuelo shows up and Effer explains he’s trying to get Macaria out of there to help her forget her grief. (We can imagine what he’s got in mind…..) Macaria’s in no mood to see anybody and tells them both to go home. She heads off and leaves them standing there. Effer mentions that Michael gets out of jail that morning since there’s not enough proof to arrest him. Connie is irate.
Sin is apparently unloading to a commiserating Vainie about Paula now, and how El Gusto Was Mío backed out of marrying her and the whole relationship. Yep. Sin admits she was boiling mad and would have loved to go running to Bro-Hell with the news right then, but obviously she couldn’t. Nessa asks if she isn’t worried what Rog would do to Gus. Naw, the idiot earned it by refusing to marry me! Well, advises Vainessa, tell him as soon as he returns. I’ll be grateful to you if you can separate him from that broad by doing it, too! “Count on it!” says Sin. As for Elsie, says Nessa, she’s still in a drugged sleep and Vainessa isn’t in the mood to confront her again. She can’t stand the thought of having to deal with Mama anymore she’s so disgusted and angry. (Time to call in the men in white coats, dontcha think, Nessa?)
Big Dave gives Nessa a call. She tells him the cattle deal with the Americans fell through for her. He gives her his best imitation of sympathy. Nessa has sense enough to ask if he had anything to do with the Clenbuterol. Dave lies shamelessly–a man who really does have no shame. He tries throwing the blame back on Rog, suggesting Rog could have been interested in ruining her reputation. Nessa says don’t be ridiculous cuz his reputation and prestige would be at risk as well. “--Oh, yeah, I guess so. (Snake in the grass alert!) But, I swear on my love for Sinthia, whom I love most in this world, that I didn’t harm a single animal.” That’s enough of Naïve Nessa. He hangs up and chuckles to himself that he really didn’t lie to her since it was Bruno who did the actual poisoning.
Just then Pau storms into his office to yell at him about damming up the river water. (Oy vey! Enough with the espadrilles, already!) He tells her he doesn’t know what she’s talking about; she says he darned well does and it’s the dike he’s built. Now there is no water flowing through!! Dave imitates feigned concern. “--Oh! Hubby will have to do something!” He chuckles, dripping with male chauvinist insolence. How sweet of the little ingénue coming here trying her best to handle a problem while her hubby is away gawd knows where and entertaining himself with gawd knows who. (The women in Viewerville are clawing at their t.v. screens in living rooms everywhere to get at the slug!! Trust me when I say this guy would be wise not to be caught asleep alone in my part of town, or he risks being hog-tied, force-fed green beer and later being sent home with his nether-regions Naired!!) No, she trusts Rog.
Good for her, Dave says snidely, but eventually Rog’ll go looking for somebody who thinks he’s worth their time and doesn’t have any doubts. Pau isn’t put off by this attempt at trash talk and warns him the Water Commission will have something to say about this business, as well as the authorities. What he’s doing is a crime. He had better think twice or he could end up in [ir a dar] jail! She turns on her espadrille and plods back out the way she came: cool, collected and sure of herself—either that or she’s a natural-born poker player.~~~~~
[end of first half]
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[Second half]
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[Second half]
Sin runs into Maria outside and tries avoiding her. Maria grabs hold of her and gets that the gal is hopping mad inside thanks to presumptuous Paula. Maria wants to give her a bit of friendly woman to woman advice like in the old days, but Sin ungraciously declares Maria unable to, being nothing more than a simple servant doncha know (which has Viewerville fervently wishing ol’ Sin would suddenly slip on the nearest fresh manure pile on her bony ass). “—I’m furious. How couldn’t I be after being dumped by Gustavo because he prefers Paula!” Maria shows no emotion, says nothing, and makes it pretty clear to Sin that Maria already knew the scoop.
A bit later, Mikey gets out of jail. Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Paula and Dani are there to give him an all-in-the-family hug. Suddenly Ulises races in demanding justice and warning him that if the cops don’t do it the townspeople just may (I think he means that. Can’t tell really. Jarocha, call your office!) Mikey still insists that it wasn’t him, that he misses her as much as anybody.
Gus calls Esteban to tell him about his angst over Ana Paula’s emotional misgivings. He’s worried that the longer she’s with Rog, the more likely she’ll decide to dump Gus. It’s almost too much to bear and he doesn’t think he can continue working on Rog’s water project. Steve reminds him he’s got to separate his personal feelings from his professional duties. Gus says he’s trying to, and that despite it all, he admires Rogelio as a man’s man. However, it’s inevitable that once the two of them confront each other over Ana, the two of them will never be able to see or meet with [verse nunca más] one another afterward. Steve, disgusted big time by Big Dave’s conceited scoff-law attitude, decides to come down there himself to check things out. First thing Gus asks him to check out, tho’, is whose name is really on the deed to La Negra, and whether Dave is acting on his own or doing somebody else’s dirty work.
Back at the police station Uli attacks Mike again, forcing the captain/comandante to intervene. He tells Uli to get hold of himself or he’ll be the one in jail next! Uli is uber-pissed and warns Mikey that the long arm of the law may have pulled his chestnuts out of the fire this time, but his day with Devine Justice is coming due very soon.
The employees are standing around again in the front of the hacienda as Mikey, Dani, Bruno, and Paula walk past the staring, indignant crowd towards the entrance to the main house. Mike tells Pau it seems they all believe he murdered Maripaz. He stops a minute to ask if Connie really believes he did it. She says all of them there, including her, believe he did it. He addresses them and says he may be an alcoholic, but Maripaz didn’t die because of that. It. wasn’t. him! Dani and Pau drag Mikey into the main house, still screaming about his innocence.
That night Uli swears to Macaria that if he didn’t love her as much as he does that he’d have already made Mikey pay for what he did to their daughter. She wants it to end now and there. It won’t bring their daughter back. If he won’t let it die and goes after revenge, she threatens to leave him!
At Hell-Fuerte, Mike tells Pau he’s uncomfortable the way the people are treating him now. Let people talk; it doesn’t matter cuz you’re innocent, she tells him. He suggests that they should take the fact that her hubby is absent to absent themselves and make their getaway. She refuses. She has to speak with Rog and resolve things –and there’s that pregnancy test to take as she now knows she can’t keep putting it off. Mike asks her if things were not so grim, who she’d choose to stay with. (Note: neither he nor we get an answer to that one!)
Back in town at Uli’s plop ‘n shop, Effer tells Uli that it’s not going to be comfortable for Rog’s BIL after what he’s done. Uli admits he’s so enraged that he’d have killed Michael himself if the police commissioner hadn’t stopped him. But, then there’s Macaria, the bestest, most loving and faithfulest of wives—and Effer, of course, supporting him the way he has, is the bestest and most faithfulest of friendses…..
Mikey is sober and is starting to see through his mental haze enough to begin to reason through a few things. He tells Pau he knows he’s the reason she’s in such a bind emotionally, but there’s something he still doesn’t understand. Yeah, he’s slim pickin’s when it comes to marriage material, but still and all, Dani hasn’t stopped loving him. Dani’s in it for the long haul. On the other hand, both Gus and Rog have lots going for them. Pau laments. “—Gustavo and Rogeliio are both important to me and I only make them suffer.” Mikey continues. “—A person loves another for who they are. They recognize when they’re in love. It’s something ones just feels. How could you not comprehend whether you’re in love with Rogelio or still in love with Gustavo? I think you are refusing to recognize how you truly feel about things.” Could be, she agrees. Mikey figures it’s due to the possibility of the baby that she doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going right now. (Could be….)
Rosie barges in on Pau and Mikey, eagerly filling the room with her own special brand of cheer…..”Free at last! Free at last! (hug) Ana Paula’s getting herself together now, taking to being La Sra. Montero! Certainly that’s why you’re free now!” Mikey fights back, tho’ and insists again he’s not guilty of murdering Maripaz! What will they do if even she doesn’t believe he’s innocent? “-- It’s the truth, tho’, knowing your parentage and the way you repeatedly fall back into drinking all the time! Who can deal with you?” Besides, she adds, how could he know if he was drunk out of his mind like that and can’t remember anything?
In town, Esteban is waiting to speak with Vainessa. No, he’s not there as the ex-hubby, just as a government official investigating La Negra and the diversion of river water. “—I got a report and in investigating it, I’ve discovered the land is yours and that you’re the one diverting water from Rogelio Montero’s land! (Damn! Considering Bruno’s involved, Steve better have his life insurance paid up!) “--It’s in your father’s business’s name! Don’t deny it either, because you know I know all about your father’s business dealings!” She admits it and Steve accuses her of getting evenism: because she couldn’t get Rog back she planned to get even by denying the water to his ranch. She lies that she only bought the land because she wanted to invest in the cattle market...little by little. Esteban doesn’t know whether to believe her or not and loses patience. “—Why did you ever get involved in a mess like this, really? Sheesh!” (Snake in the grass alarm #3!) Cara de inocencia de Vainessa. She throws the blame onto Dave who is “simply remodeling the place” for her. She had no idea! How awful! Steve believes her--for now. (Rats!) “—I hope what you’re saying is true, Vainessa, because what David is doing is a crime!!” (That extra male appendage is such a mind-number!)
Meanwhile, Maria and Mersnottys make nice. Maria’s thankful to Ms. Mercy’s main squeeze—Ernesto--for coming so quickly to take care of Margarito. They decide to make a late night snack of enchiladas and make girly talk over Sin and Gus and gawd knows what else while we get another shameless plug for some food sponsor. (No! I will not give them free advertising on this blog!) FF>>
Back in town, the more Nessa lies, the more Esteban seems to believe in her naivete rather than in her ability to plan and plot—that appendage thingy, remember? Nessa says tho’ she had no idea it seems believable because David and Rog are fighting. “—And that’s the reason you went into business with him! I told you not to do it!” Nessa still plays innocent. Doesn’t matter whether she knew or not, she’s still in it up to her neck, says Esteban. “—You are in really.serious.legal.trouble, Vanessa!” “—Wh-h-hat do you mean?” “—That even you could go to jail for what your business partner did!” Nessa is wide-eyed-gulpified impactada. (Yeah, swallow hard, you do-do of female dogs!)
Vainie continues to drip with honey and syrup, swearing she had no idea what was going on there. (Thwack! --Er… That was my sandal hitting the tv screen.) How could she not know what her partner was doing asks the… er…incredulous male appendage. After all, she was the one who sent David there and put him in charge of the things he’s been doing at the ranch! Vainessa’s eyelashes bat in mock female confusion. “--Oh, then it’s not so bad! If it’s that Rogelio isn’t getting water, then I’ll go ask David what to do to insure that that doesn’t happen, ok?” No. Steve says he will go and speak to the guy himself. (Man, can’t you just imagine what life must have been like for this dude all these years? And this putz put up with it???? Still does! Chauvinistic fool!) She agrees, but asks Steve NOT to say a word of any of this to Rog.
Steve gets pissed and says he can’t believe that she still is worried what Rog might think of her! “No, it’s just that we’re business partners, you know? Why complicate things?” He shakes his head in utter disbelief. She begs him to remember all their years together and to comply with her request. She needs his help out of this jam, really she does since she’s totally innocent. He says he can’t promise her anything cuz he’s got to act fairly--in his awfully offal official capacity, that is….. “--CU L8-er!” He leaves. She stews.
Next day at lunch in town, Bruno advises Dave to play it cool around Pau. She’s got a temper, he says, and not only does she want that river channel [cauce] opened back up, but she’ll send Big Dave to the Big House if need be! Dave just scoffs. “--Ah, what can she really do about it?” “--Hey, she keeps looking to get the name of Gus’s superior.” “--Oh! The return of Esteban, eh.” Snicker. Bruno sees there’s a call from Nessa coming in on his cell, but he ignores it thinking she’s only calling to complain about him and Dave possibly having something to do with the Clenbuterol mess. The two toast to their ingenious and flawless plotting on that account. Bruno laments how Pau’s come down hard. “—Unfortunately, we can’t manage it again because Paula’s posted guards all around the cattle feeding area.” Dave doesn’t think Rog’s little missus will keep the interest up for long, tho’. Bruno doesn’t look so sure.
Back at Hell-Fuerte, Paula finally takes out the pregnancy test. She makes a quick prayer for guidance just as Rosie rushes into her room. Paula chides her for seemingly having no faith in Mikey’s innocence. Before she can finish her response (totally ignore-worthy) Rosie notices the test pack in Pau’s hand. Time to face the music and to have a while to make plans calmly, says Rosie as encouragingly as she can. (The winch above squeaks as the anvil is raised.)
There’s a call from Ro-Hell for Maria. When’s he coming home? “What--??”
AP comes out of the bathroom with the results plainly written on her face: the pregnancy test came out a positive pink. The next anvil falls. Cara de angst on both of them.
Labels: no-podia
Friday, April 06, 2012
Abismo de pasión #20 4/5/12: Where's the Passion Pit? All I See Is a Pit of Scheming Vipers.
El Refrito from Cap'n Sylvia's Recap:
The BFFs are yucking it up and going over old times. Gael reminds Dam about the amulets. Dam asks what is between Gael and Elisa. “Great friendship and affection, como hermanos,” he replies.
Padre Lupe arrives wearing a snappy white straw Panama hat and is thrilled to see the guys together. Dam says it’s late and they’ll talk tomorrow. We get another terrific Padre/Gael scene and Gael tells Padre about the fiesta. He says no way is he going to go, but wouldn’t it be a hoot if Damian invites Elisa and Paloma? Oh man that would pith off Padre’s sister. “Oh, and Padre, lose the hat,” he teases.
Dam finds Elisa weeping in the square. He assures her she can confide in him just like old times. She falls into his arms. “I’m tired of fighting against the current,” she weeps. She’s sick of her life since she lost her mama and she can’t take anymore!
And...here comes Princess Poop’s-gonna-hit-the-fan in super slo-mo with fire in her eyes and smoke coming out of her ears.
Lo Nuevo-Bullet Style
The BFFs are yucking it up and going over old times. Gael reminds Dam about the amulets. Dam asks what is between Gael and Elisa. “Great friendship and affection, como hermanos,” he replies.
Padre Lupe arrives wearing a snappy white straw Panama hat and is thrilled to see the guys together. Dam says it’s late and they’ll talk tomorrow. We get another terrific Padre/Gael scene and Gael tells Padre about the fiesta. He says no way is he going to go, but wouldn’t it be a hoot if Damian invites Elisa and Paloma? Oh man that would pith off Padre’s sister. “Oh, and Padre, lose the hat,” he teases.
Dam finds Elisa weeping in the square. He assures her she can confide in him just like old times. She falls into his arms. “I’m tired of fighting against the current,” she weeps. She’s sick of her life since she lost her mama and she can’t take anymore!
And...here comes Princess Poop’s-gonna-hit-the-fan in super slo-mo with fire in her eyes and smoke coming out of her ears.
Lo Nuevo-Bullet Style
- Flo is pithed and pitches a fit right there in the plaza. Dam is not pleased and tells her to go back to the hacienda. Flo thinks Elisa should leave, which Elisa does after telling Dam his place is with Flo. Dam drags Flo's ace-bandaged clad arse home.
- Lola confronts Assgusto about his mistreatment of Elisa. He reminds her of her place and threatens to fire her. She tells him to go ahead. No one else will 1. Put up with his and Carmina's mierda nor will they 2. love Elisa as much as she has.
- Tonia and Braulio dine. He is worried about the sketchy Horacio. Tonia does not like this and wishes he worried as much about their son. Blah blah blah.
- Horacio asks Gabino about the job he was promised. Gabino tells him to be patient. The important thing right now is for the son of the dueña to get out of town.
- Braulio and Blanca blabbity blah about Lola and her possible new feller. Blanca thinks it's not his business since he dumped her. He says Lola dumped him. Whatever. Blanca says to stay out of Lola's personal bid-nezz.
- Carmeany talks to Assgusto about his argument with Elisa. Carmeany suggests the girl is with Dam. If Assgusto can't find her, maybe he can go door to door looking for her so everyone knows he has no control of her.
- Elisa spends the evening with Blanca and asks her not to tell her dad where she is.
- Flo is still yelling at Dam. She is spitting nails and is convinced he lied about seeing his uncle and really went to see Elisa. Poor Dam tries to explain, but Flo really doesn't want to listen. Momster comes running and Flo fills her in about Dam hugging Elisa. Flo tells Dam that "lo nuestro" is over and leaves. Momster tells Dam this is exactly why she didn't want him to be friends with Elisa. Elisa is trouble with a capital "T"
- Momster convinces Flo not to leave by reminding her that that would mean Elisa wins. Elisa has always been after Dam. Flo brings up Elisa's mom and Rosendo. Momster again tells her that she can't let Elisa win.
- Lucio and Blanca discuss the Elisa/Assgusto bronca at breakfast. When Elisa sits down, she tells them that she has to learn to make her own decisions. Assgusto bangs on the door. Lucio and Blanca deny Elisa is there.
- Padre tries to convince Gael to go to the party. Gael reminds him Alfonsina would blow a fuse (did I hear Alfuchina or did my ears make that up?) Padre asks Gael to do it for Dam and Gael wonders why Padre always wants the two boys to be so close and united. Padre just says their amistad should be like that between brothers. Ominous music lets Viewerville know something is up. Anyhoo, says Padre...wouldn't you want Dam their at your engagement party?
- Dr Tovar rings the bell at Hacienda Assgusto but runs and hides when he of the broken glasses and beaten down demeanor arrives on his horse.
- When he gets inside, Lola asks Assgusto about the bell. He doesn't know what she's talking about. They argue. She's pithed because he's not going to look for Elisa anymore and he's pithed 'cause she's just the help and can't tell him what to do. He threatens to fire her again. She thinks that would be doing her a favor.
- Gabino is at Haciendo Harangue-o™. He slimes all over Tonia and forces a kiss...and then plays off like it was all Tonia's fault when Fina shows up. Fina thinks the worst of Fina and sends her inside.
- Dam tells Padre there likely won't be a party since Flo broke up with him. They discuss Elisa's life since he left. We know the tale. Padre notes that Dam seems more concerned with Elisa than his broken engagement. Padre tells Dam that what Elisa needs is a man to protect her, care for her and LOVE her. Dam seems to be considering this as it cuts to commercial.
- Assgusto asks Gael about Elisa. Gael yells at him about not caring where Elisa is and goes off to look for her. Assgusto tells him if he leaves he'll fire him. Gael quits.
- Fina tells Gabino to be at the party...but not as an invited guest but to make sure people have what they need (personally, I think she wants him there to be a bouncer.) She tells him to leave Tonia alone and he says he tries to, but the woman won't leave him alone. Ass. Fina gives him a blank check to buy something a gift for Dam and reminds him not to be late for the party.
- Flo whines about Elisa to Unkahunkapunk. He thinks she should make friends with Elisa. Flo sees right through this and says he just wants her to be friends with Elisa so he can bust his moves. He says sure, but while he's keeping Elisa occupied, she's won't be bothering with Damian. Besides, if Flo wants his help, she's going to have to help him.
- Tovar vists Carmina. They end up doing it.
- Tonia's son is a little jerkwad. Fina tells Tonia to lay off Gabino or she will tell Braulio.
- Blanca and Elisa talk about Lola's "boyfriend". Elisa is not happy that the town is now gossiping about Lola. Blanca tells Elisa that the reason Lola didn't marry Braulio was so she wouldn't have to leave Elisa. Elisa feels bad that Lola sacrificed happiness for her. Flo shows up
- At the mercado, Horacio meets up with Lola and confesses he can't stop thinking about her. Awwww! He is so sweet with her! He can't believe that she's single. Surely she has at least has a slew of "pendientes". He asks her if she wants to go for a walk and maybe get some ice-cream. Seriously, I'm swooning. I hope this turns into a bad-boy goes good for love story line. Oh, back to the recap. Lolita turns him down and the poor guy takes it the wrong way. I swear I saw tears.
- Flo apologizes and asks Elisa (and Gael and Paloma) to the party. Flo says she's already talked to Fina about it and it's all arranged. Flo makes nice. I get nauseous. After she leaves, Blanca asks if Elisa will go to the party and we get a "¡por supuesto que no!"
- Gael looks for Elisa at Ramona's. Ramona tells him his obsession with Elisa is going to make him suffer. He better let it out or it will burn his soul. She's only telling him for his own good ...and the good of those close to him.
- Tonia's son scams Lola into giving him money for a refresco, but ends up with a cerveza instead. And yay (NOT), Tonia comes up in time to see him with a beer and gets mad at Lola. Their usual barbs ensue. Dn't mess up my son. Get a man and have your own son.You know, I try to like Tonia...and then she is such a witch to Lola.
- Dr Tovar is cuddly and obsessy after sex. Guess he likes that orange volcano luvin'. Carmeany is just "meh." As they leave the bedroom Assgusto comes in and catches them.
Avances
- Damian dresses like a cowboy (with a belt buckle!)
- Gael confesses his love to Elisa.
- Damian threatens Unkahunkapunk.
Labels: abismo
El Talismán #48 Fri 4/6/12 Cage Fighting with Tony & Rita
MEMO FROM THE FIELD
Date: April 6, 2012
To: Meester Smeeth
From: Genoveva, your humble employee
Subject: A Fresno Plaga on All Their Houses
I wish to report there is a particularly virulent strain of the Stupid Plaga spreading around Fresno. I’ve seen it all around, but particularly in the hospital (to be expected), the local jail (may be a source), out at El Alca and El Tal and even made its way onto the campus of the Fresno branch of UC. I’m worried. Suppose there is no cure. Please advise next step.
Jail: Rita pretends to make a friendly visit to Antonio, who is languishing in jail. He didn’t ask to see her. Why is she there? To help him. He’s a Negrete and doesn’t need her help, so largate. Rita gets her dander up and warns him that what he did was very bad and if “tio” dies, he could end up in prison for the rest of his days. Antonio gets testy, his testosterone rising, and lunges for her throat. He releases her and she spits back that she’s still has to give her declaration and is going to make sure he rots in jail. That earns her another lunge and ring around the collar. This time, the guards are on the alert and separate them. (I just don’t understand Fresno jail procedures. Is just anyone allowed to visit a detainee who is not restrained and the guards just hang around outside a barred visitor’s cell? My, my this reminds me more of Televisa, somehow.)
Rita gives her anti-Anto declaration, weeping and sighing and tossing hair for extra emphasis. That cursed man decked her tio for no reason at all. Antonio, meanwhile is hauled in front of FDCI (aka Capitán) to explain himself. El Capitán says he’s in a bunch of trouble and it looks as though he’s doing it on purpose--to himself he notes that the Negrete lawyer hasn’t bothered to post bail yet. Antonio wheedles a phone call out of him and calls Camila. He tells her he’s not out of jail yet, but not to worry. He just phoned to see how she and her mother are doing. Camila responds that mom is still in a very delicate state, but once she is stable, she’ll come to see him, over his strong protestations not to. Antonio somehow gets in a second phone call. This time it’s to sis. He wants her to get Pedro down to the jail, pronto, at all costs and not to fail him. Now it’s Tonio’s turn to give his declaration.
Sure enough, Camila shows up at the jail, as Tonio is being carted back to his jail cell. And in the most perfect set-up ever, Pedro shows up to rescue Lulu who cried Wolf (as in Don Gregorio was going to attack her and she’s beside herself with fear). Antonio mooches a smooch from Camila while Pedro gets an eyeful. The incestuous duo are loving it. Camila has no idea Pedro saw them kissing, but begins to regret it later.
Hospital: Elvira is sedated and out cold. We won’t have to listen to her express pain, anguish or self-pity for now. Tia Maria is calm, cool and collected (I like this lady). Everything is going to be ok. Camila is not so sure. Without a husband nor a fortune, mom will have to go back to the hotel and Camila will have to pay the bills. Armando volunteers to get a part-time job and go back to UC Davis. She offers him a little of what she’s managed to save. Camila dreads having to go back to El Tal and un-resign her job, see Pedro every frickin day and have to deal with Lucrazy.
El Tal: Speaking of said Lucrazy, she hasn’t been bothering me lately, but she certainly is making a nuisance of herself around Pedro. She has installed herself in the house, acts as his novia and calls him Mi Amor. Even after Pedro tells her that her dearly beloved brother is in jail, she says, that’s too bad…she can’t do a thing for him, so after breakfast the two of them should go the house that’s going to be the orphanage, Mi Amor. Pedro declines her offer and tells her she should go visit bro and he’ll go to the site alone. (Foiled—but she gets in a kiss and another Mi Amor). I noted there were 5 (Five) of them in two short scenes—I gagged—who drank and who did sit-ups? Gabriel, Pedro’s pro-sidekick, has seen through Lulita’s teatrito and tries to get Pedro to see the light. Pedro has blinders on where she’s concerned. He feels he still needs to protect her from Don Gregorio (what a laugh).
El Al: Gregorio has just gotten up. Doris is still in bed. He’s p*ssed that Antonio won’t answer his cell or call him back. Tonio’s been out all night, probably with some floozy. He worries that Lulubelle has already told him about the will and is plotting something against him. Doris is calm, she tells him that if she had, Tonio would have been all in his face by now. She knows him well. He gets hot under the collar right away, then cools down to do his plotting. Not to worry, as she kisses the back of Don G’s neck, ears….euuwww.
Meanwhile, the F&F girls charlan on the porch with Tracy about going to Frederick’s of Fresno, the whole seduction technique lessons at Sarita’s and having their tight little behinds saved by Tracy from the wrath of their mother because they left their computer on at an adult-only web page. Well, anyway, no biggie. Flo needs to get to class pronto, while Fab doesn’t need to be there until later. Alberta notices that Flo’s car is a mess, she spilled coffee in it yesterday and she’s going to clean it all up. Fab offers Flo her bright RED car to go to campus. There are thanks and hugs all around. Gregorio and Panchito emerge from the house and approach Fab; does she know where her dad is. No. Well, Panchito, you are in charge of locating the son-of-a-gun. Under his breath, Panchito says something that ends in “mi papa.” Fab picks up on this and quizzes him. Poor Panchito tries to fumble and mumble his way out and ends up leaving abruptly.
Hospital: Quiet hour is over. Elvira is awake. She sees Maria and freaks out. Why are you here? Are you here to reproach me for what I did to you? (Looks like we have another side trip before we head for the finish of this tn). No, replies Maria, she’s here to make peace with her sister and help her. Elvira says, you have no idea how much I need you (aye, aye, and so do we and the El Tal scriptwriters. We do so need a rational, level-headed guide to lead us out of this murky, swampy [Florida] morass. Armando’s ire is beginning to boil. He darts for the door and loses it in Renato’s room, screaming that he is to blame for his mother’s delicate and perhaps suicidal state of mind. Renato sleeps through this, but the noise alerts a nurse and he gets thrown out of the room. Maria, meanwhile, suggests that Elvira forget about the money and think about her children. She’s going to stay in (or was it leave) Fresno to help her and they’ll get a big apartment so they can all live happily ever after (I have my doubts. This plaga is much too insidious.)
Somewhere in LA: We get a gratuitous Margarito sighting (the tall, dark, handsome one, not the little one) who retells his colleague the story of Mariana’s disappearance and musing on whether this one he saw was really her or a twin.
Big Finish in 3 Parts: Part 1--Primo Angel arrives (we are so glad) at the hospital and makes nice to everyone around. I wonder what his role will be. Elvira gets hysterical realizing that since the check that Pedro sent her in payment for El Tal was never cashed, he OWES her a replacement check. He *has* to give her another check. That money is *hers.* Camila and Maria both tell her to forget the money. Things have changed. They don’t need all that money. Elvira wants Camila to go back to Pedro and fix things up between them. Camila reminds her that she was the one who wanted them to end things. No, no, she insists; go back to him, she was wrong about him. Pedro is a good man. She moans that it’s not fair for Camila to throw a fortune into the garbage because of her pride. Go back to him. Camila tells her that it won’t work because Pedro’s not going to give them another check. He doesn’t want to have anything more to do with them. Elvira has an anxiety attack.
Part 2—Somewhere on the UC Fresno campus, Flo rolls up very slowly in Fab’s very red red car. Armando spots the car and knows immediately who is in it. Then we play the mistaken identity game. Armando says, Fab? Flo says, José? Armando says, er, thinking very slowly (and badly) on his feet (still in his diver-Dan T-shirt), no, you’re mistaken, I’m not José, I’m, I’m his twin (I have a feeling José has forgotten his twin’s name, as have I). If Flo were a little more lista, she would wonder how José’s twin knows Fab, but that’s for lunes or some other chapter.
Part 3—The Jailhouse Rocks with the incestuous duo having a cute little smiley tête-à- tête over their in-house joke which we all know about. Little sis wants to know how far bro has gone with Miss Camila. Not as far as he would like since he’s still esposado (I guess that means still married). All he’s managed is to worm a little kiss out of her. She hasn’t agreed to be his novia yet, but everything is in motion. He will make her his. Of that he is sure.
*recap by Anita, posted by Blue Lass
Labels: Talisman
La Que No Podía Amar #72 Thursday 4/5/12 The Woman Who Couldn't Escape Her Guilty Conscience
Dany sees the black ribbon hanging over the door to the fonda and goes inside, only to get yelled at by Ulises. She reminds him of Miguel. Macaria tells him to back off, but Ulises has gone 'round the bend. Dany feels his pain.
Gustavo tells AP about Cinthia's proposal. She's pissed, but tells him he has to make his own decision. This just upsets Gustavo more. He mocks her for having "doubts" and accuses her of wanting him to hook up with Cinthia so she can be with Rogelio. He wants to know what she feels, like, now.
Macaria says Ulises was too mean to Dany, whether Miguel did it or not. Ulises is too busy having a breakdown to give a crap.
AP tells Gus she has no idea what she feels. She doesn't want to hurt Rogelio or Gustavo. She reminds him that he agreed to give her time so she doesn't make the wrong decision. Gus rubs her face in it that Cinthia doesn't have doubts about her feelings for him. AP ends up saying that he can do whatever the hell he wants, she's tired of it all! They hug and Mercedes sees them and behaves predictably. Oh, right, I'm supposed to be recapping…can't help tuning out Mercedes and her incessant screeching. I'm sure I didn't miss anything important.
Efrain's making himself at home in the kitchen. Maria tells him to sit down and get a proper talking-to. She tells him to watch out because she knows he's got a thing for Cinthia and she's going to marry Gustavo. Efrain says not to worry, he's going to make sure La Patrona gets exactly what she wants.
Gustavo talks to Mercedes. He doesn't want to marry Cinthia. Mercedes wants him to marry Cinthia. She only wants him to be happy (as long as he's doing what she wants him to do).
Maria now chews out AP. She heard about the possible marriage of Cinthia and Gustavo. AP admits she hasn't peed on the stick yet. Maria thinks things have gone too far without the stick peeing. AP tells her that Cinthia knows about AP and Gus. Maria thinks things are going to explode any minute now. AP admits she's afraid to take the test. Maria advises that if she is pregnant, she'd better hide the fact that it's Gustavo's baby.
Vanessa has told Cinthia about the clenbuterol. Van is pissed that Rogelio isn't there and she has to go with AP to Tuxtla. Cinthia thinks she should be the one going, but Vanessa reminds her that she doesn't actually know what's going on and AP is the one with the power to sign for Rogelio. Cinthia sees a silver lining…AP will surely screw this up and Rogelio will end up blaming her for it. Plus she won't be around to deal with the water situation. Cinthia says she could kill AP with her own hands, which freaks Vanessa out. "You're not serious, are you?" Cinthia gives a cryptic smile.
If Gus is the baby daddy, AP thinks he should be the first one to know. And he'd be around and notice she's pregnant. Maria says she has to hurry up and take the damn test already. AP can't right now because she needs to go to Tuxtla. She feels like she owes it to Rogelio to deal with the situation.
Ulises goes to the jail to harass Miguel. He wants the necklace back that Maripaz was wearing. Miguel doesn't know what he's talking about, but Ulises is convinced he pawned it for booze.
Cinthia and Vanessa have a hate-fest over AP. They're interrupted by Maria knocking on the door to tell them that AP is waiting in the helicopter. Vanessa leaves and Maria asks Cinthia what's up with her getting married to Gustavo. Cinthia evades her questions, but says there will be a wedding. Maria tells her not to count her chickens…. Maria just doesn't want her to suffer. Cinthia's not worried and says Gustavo is "more engaged than ever." "How far have you gone with that boy?" Cinthia says yeah, they've done the deed and Maria looks disgusted. Or should I say…disGUSted!
Macario runs into Rutilio at Bruno's house.
Maria blasts her for giving away the milk before Gustavo's bought the cow. Cow! Cinthia resents the interrogation. Maria is furious with Gus for disrespecting the house. "Doesn't he think about the consequences?!" Maria almost lets it slip about "the pregnancy." Cinthia says it's easy. She also has the right to an heir. "What do you mean you 'too'?" Cinthia covers her own slip-up by saying she's referring to Margarito. She'd be thrilled to be pregnant, though, because her child would be a "real" Montero. Snobby hag.
Rutilio explains that he works for Bruno. He gives Macaria his condolences. She brought Bruno the coffee he always ordered. Macaria hands it over to Rutilio and leaves, glancing after him suspiciously. Rutilio comments that Macaria's even hotter than her daughter.
Elsa is glad to see Vanessa. She brags that she got Mr. Williams to come over and hang out at the house so he'll calm down. She's had rooms prepared for Rogelio and Hugo. Vanessa starts to explain about Rogelio and Elsa loses it when she sees AP. She starts smacking her around and Vanessa just laughs.
Consuelo can't get over Maripaz's death. Maria tells her life has to go on. Consuelo can't believe Miguel did it. She thought he was a good guy. Poor Consuelo must be really doubting her taste in men right about now.
Vanessa finally tells Elsa to back down. AP offers to leave as soon as the business meeting is over. Elsa can't quit grabbing AP by the hair at every opportunity, calling her a bastard, etc. Vanessa finally starts to look disturbed by her mother's behavior and pulls her off AP, shoving her in the opposite direction. AP gets in one "WTF is wrong with your mother?" before noticing that Mr. Williams is standing nearby. She hisses to Vanessa who comes to stand by her just as J.R. Ewing-Williams turns around and informs the women that he's not a happy camper.
Gustavo comes to Cinthia's room. He turns down her proposal.
Despite the certificates, the testing shows that the meat was contaminated. JR Ewing-Williams wants compensation. Since AP keeps calling Vanessa her "sister," JR does the same until Vanessa feels compelled to correct him. Wow. Priorities, woman! Vanessa and AP both look upset at the prospect of having to pay JR, even if the money's going to be coming out of Rogelio's pocket.
Cinthia is gobsmacked. Gus thinks she deserves better. She whines at him about how AP has a hold on all the men she loves.
Vanessa argues that the amount is way too high. JR refers to the contract. AP points out that she did deliver on the contract, just that they had no way of knowing that someone would drug their cattle. AP tells him they need this kept quiet. JR gives them 24 hours to pay or he'll sue them AND make sure no one buys from them again. Vanessa looks worried.
Cinthia whines about not wanting to marry David. Gus reminds her about her plans to work. She whines that she needs money to get away from Rogelio. "The only reason I haven't told Rogelio anything is because I don't want him to hurt you." She asks him to leave her alone. Ooh, guilt trip. Guys looooove that. Gus leaves and in classic Rogelio fashion, Cinthia throws a tantrum, knocking a bunch of stuff off her desk. She sits down and says "And here I thought I was the one using him!"
JR threatens to inform the authorities about the contamination and says they'll never export again.
Consuelo went to the fonda to visit Ulises and Macaria.
JR's phone rings mid-conversation and he goes to take the call. Vanessa starts crying and AP tells her to calm down. "Tears won't solve anything." She reminds her the most important thing is to resolve the situation. Vanessa complains that the meatpacking company is all she has. She whines that Rogelio will still have the land and the crops. AP says that "their" dad had other businesses and not to worry, they'll figure something out. Vanessa has had it with AP talking like she really cares about her and says it's her fault that Rogelio left, so if they can't fix this, it's all her fault.
Consuelo encourages them to open the fonda and the store back up. She offers to help them out. She doesn't want to stay at the hacienda, near Efrain. Especially not knowing that he's in love with someone else.
Elsa gripes to a friend on the phone. Vanessa comes in and Elsa turns her whining on her. Elsa wants to unload on AP some more, but Vanessa tells her to calm down already.
JR and AP sit down alone. She assures him they'll pay, but she doesn't want Vanessa to be hurt by this. JR feels slighted by Rogelio's absence. He wants to see a check. "Um, I don't have access to all the money right now. I either have to sell some land or wait for an investment to pay off." JR concedes that he might be willing to reconsider suing if she'll give him at least part of the money now. He admits he was really surprised by what happened, given the reputations of the hacienda and the meatpacking company. He's won over by AP's sincerity and repeated insistence that it wasn't their fault and someone done them wrong. He thinks they can come to an agreement. If Crazy Elsa doesn't screw it up! She comes out to the patio shrieking at AP about doing it all on purpose to hurt them, calling her a bastard for the millionth time, etc., etc., etc. Vanessa gets her to leave and apologizes to JR for her mother's behavior, saying she hasn't been well since her father died. JR tells her she should attend to her mother and that he and AP are working on an agreement.
Consuelo tells Maria that she's thinking of leaving so she can help Maripaz's parents.
Cinthia tells Efrain she's not sure she's getting married.
Consuelo says she also wants to get away from Efrain. Maria tells her not to run away from her problems. "Stay a while longer. Maybe things will change." Maria tells her that Cinthia is going to marry Gustavo. Consuelo gets excited, but then gets a hold of herself and says that's nice for Cinthia. You go, Consuelo! Maria says she's been feeling alone, but no worries. She tells Consuelo to go ahead and go. Consuelo figures she'd better wait for Rogelio to come back, though, so he doesn't think she left because things were going badly on the hacienda.
AP visits Miguel in jail, where he promises yet again that he's seen the light and is going to turn things around. Miguel asks her if she's preggers (with Hugo standing right there). He says if she is, she's got to get the hell out of there with Gustavo. "Don't make the wrong decision, not because of me."
Crazy Elsa tells Vanessa "You don't know what I had to do to make sure you could get all your father's money without having to share it with that bastard!" Vanessa can't figure out what the hell she's talking about. "What, you think it's no big deal? I didn't give your father the medicine he needed." "Wait, so it's your fault my father died?" Ew…let the spin begin.
Tomorrow: Cinthia is pissed that Gustavo won't marry her; AP pees on a stick, finally!
Gustavo tells AP about Cinthia's proposal. She's pissed, but tells him he has to make his own decision. This just upsets Gustavo more. He mocks her for having "doubts" and accuses her of wanting him to hook up with Cinthia so she can be with Rogelio. He wants to know what she feels, like, now.
Macaria says Ulises was too mean to Dany, whether Miguel did it or not. Ulises is too busy having a breakdown to give a crap.
AP tells Gus she has no idea what she feels. She doesn't want to hurt Rogelio or Gustavo. She reminds him that he agreed to give her time so she doesn't make the wrong decision. Gus rubs her face in it that Cinthia doesn't have doubts about her feelings for him. AP ends up saying that he can do whatever the hell he wants, she's tired of it all! They hug and Mercedes sees them and behaves predictably. Oh, right, I'm supposed to be recapping…can't help tuning out Mercedes and her incessant screeching. I'm sure I didn't miss anything important.
Efrain's making himself at home in the kitchen. Maria tells him to sit down and get a proper talking-to. She tells him to watch out because she knows he's got a thing for Cinthia and she's going to marry Gustavo. Efrain says not to worry, he's going to make sure La Patrona gets exactly what she wants.
Gustavo talks to Mercedes. He doesn't want to marry Cinthia. Mercedes wants him to marry Cinthia. She only wants him to be happy (as long as he's doing what she wants him to do).
Maria now chews out AP. She heard about the possible marriage of Cinthia and Gustavo. AP admits she hasn't peed on the stick yet. Maria thinks things have gone too far without the stick peeing. AP tells her that Cinthia knows about AP and Gus. Maria thinks things are going to explode any minute now. AP admits she's afraid to take the test. Maria advises that if she is pregnant, she'd better hide the fact that it's Gustavo's baby.
Vanessa has told Cinthia about the clenbuterol. Van is pissed that Rogelio isn't there and she has to go with AP to Tuxtla. Cinthia thinks she should be the one going, but Vanessa reminds her that she doesn't actually know what's going on and AP is the one with the power to sign for Rogelio. Cinthia sees a silver lining…AP will surely screw this up and Rogelio will end up blaming her for it. Plus she won't be around to deal with the water situation. Cinthia says she could kill AP with her own hands, which freaks Vanessa out. "You're not serious, are you?" Cinthia gives a cryptic smile.
If Gus is the baby daddy, AP thinks he should be the first one to know. And he'd be around and notice she's pregnant. Maria says she has to hurry up and take the damn test already. AP can't right now because she needs to go to Tuxtla. She feels like she owes it to Rogelio to deal with the situation.
Ulises goes to the jail to harass Miguel. He wants the necklace back that Maripaz was wearing. Miguel doesn't know what he's talking about, but Ulises is convinced he pawned it for booze.
Cinthia and Vanessa have a hate-fest over AP. They're interrupted by Maria knocking on the door to tell them that AP is waiting in the helicopter. Vanessa leaves and Maria asks Cinthia what's up with her getting married to Gustavo. Cinthia evades her questions, but says there will be a wedding. Maria tells her not to count her chickens…. Maria just doesn't want her to suffer. Cinthia's not worried and says Gustavo is "more engaged than ever." "How far have you gone with that boy?" Cinthia says yeah, they've done the deed and Maria looks disgusted. Or should I say…disGUSted!
Macario runs into Rutilio at Bruno's house.
Maria blasts her for giving away the milk before Gustavo's bought the cow. Cow! Cinthia resents the interrogation. Maria is furious with Gus for disrespecting the house. "Doesn't he think about the consequences?!" Maria almost lets it slip about "the pregnancy." Cinthia says it's easy. She also has the right to an heir. "What do you mean you 'too'?" Cinthia covers her own slip-up by saying she's referring to Margarito. She'd be thrilled to be pregnant, though, because her child would be a "real" Montero. Snobby hag.
Rutilio explains that he works for Bruno. He gives Macaria his condolences. She brought Bruno the coffee he always ordered. Macaria hands it over to Rutilio and leaves, glancing after him suspiciously. Rutilio comments that Macaria's even hotter than her daughter.
Elsa is glad to see Vanessa. She brags that she got Mr. Williams to come over and hang out at the house so he'll calm down. She's had rooms prepared for Rogelio and Hugo. Vanessa starts to explain about Rogelio and Elsa loses it when she sees AP. She starts smacking her around and Vanessa just laughs.
Consuelo can't get over Maripaz's death. Maria tells her life has to go on. Consuelo can't believe Miguel did it. She thought he was a good guy. Poor Consuelo must be really doubting her taste in men right about now.
Vanessa finally tells Elsa to back down. AP offers to leave as soon as the business meeting is over. Elsa can't quit grabbing AP by the hair at every opportunity, calling her a bastard, etc. Vanessa finally starts to look disturbed by her mother's behavior and pulls her off AP, shoving her in the opposite direction. AP gets in one "WTF is wrong with your mother?" before noticing that Mr. Williams is standing nearby. She hisses to Vanessa who comes to stand by her just as J.R. Ewing-Williams turns around and informs the women that he's not a happy camper.
Gustavo comes to Cinthia's room. He turns down her proposal.
Despite the certificates, the testing shows that the meat was contaminated. JR Ewing-Williams wants compensation. Since AP keeps calling Vanessa her "sister," JR does the same until Vanessa feels compelled to correct him. Wow. Priorities, woman! Vanessa and AP both look upset at the prospect of having to pay JR, even if the money's going to be coming out of Rogelio's pocket.
Cinthia is gobsmacked. Gus thinks she deserves better. She whines at him about how AP has a hold on all the men she loves.
Vanessa argues that the amount is way too high. JR refers to the contract. AP points out that she did deliver on the contract, just that they had no way of knowing that someone would drug their cattle. AP tells him they need this kept quiet. JR gives them 24 hours to pay or he'll sue them AND make sure no one buys from them again. Vanessa looks worried.
Cinthia whines about not wanting to marry David. Gus reminds her about her plans to work. She whines that she needs money to get away from Rogelio. "The only reason I haven't told Rogelio anything is because I don't want him to hurt you." She asks him to leave her alone. Ooh, guilt trip. Guys looooove that. Gus leaves and in classic Rogelio fashion, Cinthia throws a tantrum, knocking a bunch of stuff off her desk. She sits down and says "And here I thought I was the one using him!"
JR threatens to inform the authorities about the contamination and says they'll never export again.
Consuelo went to the fonda to visit Ulises and Macaria.
JR's phone rings mid-conversation and he goes to take the call. Vanessa starts crying and AP tells her to calm down. "Tears won't solve anything." She reminds her the most important thing is to resolve the situation. Vanessa complains that the meatpacking company is all she has. She whines that Rogelio will still have the land and the crops. AP says that "their" dad had other businesses and not to worry, they'll figure something out. Vanessa has had it with AP talking like she really cares about her and says it's her fault that Rogelio left, so if they can't fix this, it's all her fault.
Consuelo encourages them to open the fonda and the store back up. She offers to help them out. She doesn't want to stay at the hacienda, near Efrain. Especially not knowing that he's in love with someone else.
Elsa gripes to a friend on the phone. Vanessa comes in and Elsa turns her whining on her. Elsa wants to unload on AP some more, but Vanessa tells her to calm down already.
JR and AP sit down alone. She assures him they'll pay, but she doesn't want Vanessa to be hurt by this. JR feels slighted by Rogelio's absence. He wants to see a check. "Um, I don't have access to all the money right now. I either have to sell some land or wait for an investment to pay off." JR concedes that he might be willing to reconsider suing if she'll give him at least part of the money now. He admits he was really surprised by what happened, given the reputations of the hacienda and the meatpacking company. He's won over by AP's sincerity and repeated insistence that it wasn't their fault and someone done them wrong. He thinks they can come to an agreement. If Crazy Elsa doesn't screw it up! She comes out to the patio shrieking at AP about doing it all on purpose to hurt them, calling her a bastard for the millionth time, etc., etc., etc. Vanessa gets her to leave and apologizes to JR for her mother's behavior, saying she hasn't been well since her father died. JR tells her she should attend to her mother and that he and AP are working on an agreement.
Consuelo tells Maria that she's thinking of leaving so she can help Maripaz's parents.
Cinthia tells Efrain she's not sure she's getting married.
Consuelo says she also wants to get away from Efrain. Maria tells her not to run away from her problems. "Stay a while longer. Maybe things will change." Maria tells her that Cinthia is going to marry Gustavo. Consuelo gets excited, but then gets a hold of herself and says that's nice for Cinthia. You go, Consuelo! Maria says she's been feeling alone, but no worries. She tells Consuelo to go ahead and go. Consuelo figures she'd better wait for Rogelio to come back, though, so he doesn't think she left because things were going badly on the hacienda.
AP visits Miguel in jail, where he promises yet again that he's seen the light and is going to turn things around. Miguel asks her if she's preggers (with Hugo standing right there). He says if she is, she's got to get the hell out of there with Gustavo. "Don't make the wrong decision, not because of me."
Crazy Elsa tells Vanessa "You don't know what I had to do to make sure you could get all your father's money without having to share it with that bastard!" Vanessa can't figure out what the hell she's talking about. "What, you think it's no big deal? I didn't give your father the medicine he needed." "Wait, so it's your fault my father died?" Ew…let the spin begin.
Tomorrow: Cinthia is pissed that Gustavo won't marry her; AP pees on a stick, finally!
Labels: no-podia
Una Familia Con Suerte #195-196 Thu 4/5/12 Everyone wigs out, especially Mónica.
*Cemetary. Mournful, yet positive*
Whole family: We miss you, Laurita! Here’s a truckload of orange flowers to redecorate your cozy abode!
Rebe Original Recipe: You’re lucky to be marrying a man who loves his family so much, hija. You’ll be very happy.
Rebe Original Recipe: You’re lucky to be marrying a man who loves his family so much, hija. You’ll be very happy.
*La Válvula. Hostile*
Frida: Watcha want, lady?
Moni: Where’s José?
Frida: You must be the Frenchy. Pepe didn’t mention you were an army ranger Bratz doll.
Meany: Snarl.
Frida: Now that I see what a troll you are, I don’t feel bad about my hostile takeover of Pepe’s lips and thoughts.
Meany: Stay away. He’s mine. Estúpida!
Moni: Where’s José?
Frida: You must be the Frenchy. Pepe didn’t mention you were an army ranger Bratz doll.
Meany: Snarl.
Frida: Now that I see what a troll you are, I don’t feel bad about my hostile takeover of Pepe’s lips and thoughts.
Meany: Stay away. He’s mine. Estúpida!
*Candy’s bedroom. Nightmare hellscape*
Candy: Uy, what horrid dreams!
Napoleón: Keep calm and carry on, mi amor.
Candy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, why am I sleeping with makeup on?
Candy: Uy, what horrid dreams!
Napoleón: Keep calm and carry on, mi amor.
Candy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, why am I sleeping with makeup on?
*Lust nest de Vice. Pathetic*
Vice: Whiskey. It’s what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Celeste: I’m still here. Pay attention to meeeee.
Vice: Look, get out of the Dream House. You are no Candy.
Celeste: What?! Skipper is totally as good as Barbie! Take me!
Vice: Eh, you may as well have been made of plastic, for my purposes.
Vice: Whiskey. It’s what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Celeste: I’m still here. Pay attention to meeeee.
Vice: Look, get out of the Dream House. You are no Candy.
Celeste: What?! Skipper is totally as good as Barbie! Take me!
Vice: Eh, you may as well have been made of plastic, for my purposes.
*Casa Enzo. Exuberant*
Moni: Daddy!!!!!!!Enzo: Moni, mi amor! Welcome home! Let me kill the fatted calf! Erm… what happened to you?
Moni: New luke! You like?
Enzo: Well, I bought my sweater in the kids’ department, so I suppose I shouldn’t criticize.
Moni: EEEEE!!!!! Chela!!! Baby!!! Know what? Frida’s nasty. Smoochin’ on MY Pepe! The nerve!
Chela: No, no. They’re friends. They have a lot in common.
Moany: Friends? Does he also make out with Tomás? Do I go around sucking face with Kari? Do you think Pepe’s into Frida?
Enzo and Chela: Eek. Erm, maybe just a little. You can fix this, McGuyver.
Me: Maybe with duct tape. For Frida’s mouth.
Moni: Daddy!!!!!!!Enzo: Moni, mi amor! Welcome home! Let me kill the fatted calf! Erm… what happened to you?
Moni: New luke! You like?
Enzo: Well, I bought my sweater in the kids’ department, so I suppose I shouldn’t criticize.
Moni: EEEEE!!!!! Chela!!! Baby!!! Know what? Frida’s nasty. Smoochin’ on MY Pepe! The nerve!
Chela: No, no. They’re friends. They have a lot in common.
Moany: Friends? Does he also make out with Tomás? Do I go around sucking face with Kari? Do you think Pepe’s into Frida?
Enzo and Chela: Eek. Erm, maybe just a little. You can fix this, McGuyver.
Me: Maybe with duct tape. For Frida’s mouth.
*Building K. Awkward*
Frida: Pepe! I need you! Your novia is such a witch!
Pepe: What did you do?
Frida: She started it! What, are you taking her side?
Pepe: Of course I am! Look, you and I are just workmates. Don’t debase yourself like this.
Frida: Pepe! I need you! Your novia is such a witch!
Pepe: What did you do?
Frida: She started it! What, are you taking her side?
Pepe: Of course I am! Look, you and I are just workmates. Don’t debase yourself like this.
*Casa Lopez kitchen. Hysterics*
Candy: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I saw Nappy!
Pancho: Yeah, he totally rose from the dead just to tease you! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, wait, you’re really freaked out. There, there. Bear hug. HAHAHA!!!
Candy: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I saw Nappy!
Pancho: Yeah, he totally rose from the dead just to tease you! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, wait, you’re really freaked out. There, there. Bear hug. HAHAHA!!!
*Big house garden. Sunny and cheery*
Rebe La Primera and Candy: Let’s go running together! Wheee!
Adrián: It isn’t stalking if you’re rich and drive right up to the front door.
Ladies: Aren’t you the cutest thing? Go right on in! Ana’s inside!
Freddie, in background: Grrrrrrrr.
Rebe La Primera and Candy: Let’s go running together! Wheee!
Adrián: It isn’t stalking if you’re rich and drive right up to the front door.
Ladies: Aren’t you the cutest thing? Go right on in! Ana’s inside!
Freddie, in background: Grrrrrrrr.
*Inside big house. Delusional*
Chucha: Sure, perfect stranger! Make yourself at home while I fetch Ana!
Ana: QTH?! Go away!
Adrián: I take neither hints nor direct orders.
Chucha: Sure, perfect stranger! Make yourself at home while I fetch Ana!
Ana: QTH?! Go away!
Adrián: I take neither hints nor direct orders.
*Avon conference room. Functional, for once*
Raymundo: Finally, we can have our old presidency back.
Pina: What are you insinuating?
Pancho: Ahem. What are our marketing plans for the Christmas catalog?
Pina and Arnoldo: We plan to introduce some Christmas products.
Pancho: Brilliant. Now that I’ve done my brilliant presidenting, I’m leaving while Rebe and I honeymoon. No, sulfurous one, you are not in charge.
Vice: I’m taking my balls and going home!
Raymundo: Finally, we can have our old presidency back.
Pina: What are you insinuating?
Pancho: Ahem. What are our marketing plans for the Christmas catalog?
Pina and Arnoldo: We plan to introduce some Christmas products.
Pancho: Brilliant. Now that I’ve done my brilliant presidenting, I’m leaving while Rebe and I honeymoon. No, sulfurous one, you are not in charge.
Vice: I’m taking my balls and going home!
*Avon. Melodramatic/no-nonsense*
Celeste: Boo hoo!
Sandra: Well, what did you expect? You were an idiot; get over it. If you want to get ahead, work hard and be dignified.
Celeste: Boo hoo!
Sandra: Well, what did you expect? You were an idiot; get over it. If you want to get ahead, work hard and be dignified.
*Avon conference room. Still functional?!*
Pina: Newsflash. I am getting a divorce.
Pancho: About time. Enzo’s in charge of Avon while I’m gone.
Pina: Newsflash. I am getting a divorce.
Pancho: About time. Enzo’s in charge of Avon while I’m gone.
*Vice’s office. Contentious*
Vice: Traitor!
Enzo: You started it. BTW, you don’t have Pina’s shares backing you up anymore.
Vice: Meanie!
Enzo: BFFs again?
Vice: OUT!
Vice: Traitor!
Enzo: You started it. BTW, you don’t have Pina’s shares backing you up anymore.
Vice: Meanie!
Enzo: BFFs again?
Vice: OUT!
*Guardería. Very sad*
Lupita: Nayeli, I can help. Are your parents mistreating you? Let’s go talk to them.
Nayeli: No! Mom isn’t home!
Lupita: What is your dad doing? We have to stop him!
Nayeli: No! Don’t say anything! He’ll hit me!
Lupita: Well, what does your mom say?
Nayeli: Nothing! He hits her, too!
Lupita: Nayeli, I can help. Are your parents mistreating you? Let’s go talk to them.
Nayeli: No! Mom isn’t home!
Lupita: What is your dad doing? We have to stop him!
Nayeli: No! Don’t say anything! He’ll hit me!
Lupita: Well, what does your mom say?
Nayeli: Nothing! He hits her, too!
*Casa Grande. Saucy*
RebeMama: What hot gossip about Arnold Flowerz! So how did you ever fall in love with that scumbag Iracheta?
Candy: Ooh! There’s Ana! Did you know she’s with Iracheta’s son? But what’s this Adrián dude doing?
Adrián: I will not give up!
Ana: What part of “never” don’t you understand. Buh-BYE.
Gossip Gals: Ooooooeeeeeeee! Hola, guapo!
Ana: OUT, stalker freak!
Adrián: Muchas smooches.
Ana: POW!
Adrián: Wow, that’s hot.
RebeMama: What hot gossip about Arnold Flowerz! So how did you ever fall in love with that scumbag Iracheta?
Candy: Ooh! There’s Ana! Did you know she’s with Iracheta’s son? But what’s this Adrián dude doing?
Adrián: I will not give up!
Ana: What part of “never” don’t you understand. Buh-BYE.
Gossip Gals: Ooooooeeeeeeee! Hola, guapo!
Ana: OUT, stalker freak!
Adrián: Muchas smooches.
Ana: POW!
Adrián: Wow, that’s hot.
*University. Whoa*
Freddy: Kari! Why are you dressed as a yak?
Kari: Mi amor! What’s happenin’?
Frauddie: You and me, bebeh. Pucker up.
Kari: Le sigh, le heave.
Freddy: Kari! Why are you dressed as a yak?
Kari: Mi amor! What’s happenin’?
Frauddie: You and me, bebeh. Pucker up.
Kari: Le sigh, le heave.
*Casa Enzo. Miserable and hostile*
Pepe: Ummm, you look great. So, did you mean what you said?
Moany: You nasty rotten cheater cheater pumpkin eater! How dare you?!
Pepe: Well, you were gone a whole month. She just appeared in front of me. Do you need a doctor’s note documenting my galanbesoparalysis?
Moni: This is MY fault?! So you’re friends with benefits now? She sleeps over? The thought of her with you in OUR bed is nauseating!
Pepe: OUR BED?! You abandoned me! Nothing happened with Frida!
Moni: You kissed her, right? Get out of my home!
UnPeppy: As you wish, Princess.
Pepe: Ummm, you look great. So, did you mean what you said?
Moany: You nasty rotten cheater cheater pumpkin eater! How dare you?!
Pepe: Well, you were gone a whole month. She just appeared in front of me. Do you need a doctor’s note documenting my galanbesoparalysis?
Moni: This is MY fault?! So you’re friends with benefits now? She sleeps over? The thought of her with you in OUR bed is nauseating!
Pepe: OUR BED?! You abandoned me! Nothing happened with Frida!
Moni: You kissed her, right? Get out of my home!
UnPeppy: As you wish, Princess.
*Pancho’s office. There, there*
Celeste: Boo hoo!
Pancho and Rebe: Yeah, you’re an idiot. But buck up.
Celeste: Please don’t fire me!
Pancho: Nah, we never fire people for anything. How about a transfer to the Celaya plant?
Pina: Well, well, well. The latest hoochie. Have fun living with the shame for the rest of your life. Say, Pancho, want to buy my house?
Celeste: Boo hoo!
Pancho and Rebe: Yeah, you’re an idiot. But buck up.
Celeste: Please don’t fire me!
Pancho: Nah, we never fire people for anything. How about a transfer to the Celaya plant?
Pina: Well, well, well. The latest hoochie. Have fun living with the shame for the rest of your life. Say, Pancho, want to buy my house?
*Casa Lopez. Girl power*
Ana: So then I popped him in the snoot!
MamaRebe: My kinda girl!
Ana: We need to plan a bachelorette party.
Candy: With strippers!
MamaRebe: Rebe would kill me. Ladies only.
Candy and Ana: BORING!
MamaRebe: Yep. Perfect for my daughter.
Ana: So then I popped him in the snoot!
MamaRebe: My kinda girl!
Ana: We need to plan a bachelorette party.
Candy: With strippers!
MamaRebe: Rebe would kill me. Ladies only.
Candy and Ana: BORING!
MamaRebe: Yep. Perfect for my daughter.
*University. Steaming*
Kari: Freddy! Let’s kiss again some more!
Pepe: Qué the hell?!
Kari: Freddy! Let’s kiss again some more!
Pepe: Qué the hell?!
*Pancho’s office. Giddy/resigned*
Pancho and Enzo: Rebe, we need your permission for mumble mumble bachelor party mumble.
Rebe: I don’t want to know. Do whatever.
Pancho: Enzo! What are we going to do?
Enzo: It’s a surprise! (I still have a couple hours to think of something.)
Pancho and Enzo: Rebe, we need your permission for mumble mumble bachelor party mumble.
Rebe: I don’t want to know. Do whatever.
Pancho: Enzo! What are we going to do?
Enzo: It’s a surprise! (I still have a couple hours to think of something.)
*Vice’s office. Tedious*
Vice: Everything is about me!
Arnoldo: Let me chastise you while simultaneously enabling you, as always.
Vice: Everything is about me!
Arnoldo: Let me chastise you while simultaneously enabling you, as always.
*University. Depressed*
Pepe, via phone: Frida! I just saw Freddy kissing Kari! I have to break his snoot at the moment, but can I pencil you in for an inappropriate chat later?
Frida: Okey doke.
Pepe, via phone: Frida! I just saw Freddy kissing Kari! I have to break his snoot at the moment, but can I pencil you in for an inappropriate chat later?
Frida: Okey doke.
*Casa Lopez. Excited*
Lupita: What better place for a bachelorette party than a daycare?
MamaRebe: We have to hurry up and shop for this party that is in just a few hours, which we are just now starting to plan.
Lupita: What better place for a bachelorette party than a daycare?
MamaRebe: We have to hurry up and shop for this party that is in just a few hours, which we are just now starting to plan.
*Avon. Bickery*
Vice: Enzo! Let’s hang out!
Enzo: Sorry, buddy. Got plans.
Vice: Wah! Now I have to go to the tarty massage place alone.
Enzo: Hmmmmm.
Vice: Enzo! Let’s hang out!
Enzo: Sorry, buddy. Got plans.
Vice: Wah! Now I have to go to the tarty massage place alone.
Enzo: Hmmmmm.
*Guest bedroom. At odds*
MamaRebe: Everyone’s going out tonight! Fun!
Dad: Bye. Leave me alone to read La Media Naranja.
MamaRebe: Julio, can’t you make some effort to get acquainted?
Dud: No.
MamaRebe: Everyone’s going out tonight! Fun!
Dad: Bye. Leave me alone to read La Media Naranja.
MamaRebe: Julio, can’t you make some effort to get acquainted?
Dud: No.
*La Válvula. Gloomy*
Pepe: Frida. Can’t talk. I’m sad and I’ve got better plans.
Frida: Sniff.
Pepe: Frida. Can’t talk. I’m sad and I’ve got better plans.
Frida: Sniff.
*El Paraiso. Festive, in a way*
Vice: What is that infernal noise interrupting my therapeutic beating?
Enzo: Pancho, surprise! Look! Cake and mariachis and drinks and lots of trashily objectified women!
Pancho: Woohoo! Hey, I smell sulfur.
*Big house driveway. Muy hostile*
Ladies: Okay, we all here? Let’s head out for some FUN! Look, there’s Pepe and Freddy.
Pepe: POW!
Ladies: OMG! What’s that about?
Pepe: That’s for smooching on Kari!
Ana: QTH?!
Freddy: Yep, it’s true. But Adrián came to your house, so there!
Ana: And apparently I hurt my hand for no reason, punching him!
Vice: What is that infernal noise interrupting my therapeutic beating?
Enzo: Pancho, surprise! Look! Cake and mariachis and drinks and lots of trashily objectified women!
Pancho: Woohoo! Hey, I smell sulfur.
*Big house driveway. Muy hostile*
Ladies: Okay, we all here? Let’s head out for some FUN! Look, there’s Pepe and Freddy.
Pepe: POW!
Ladies: OMG! What’s that about?
Pepe: That’s for smooching on Kari!
Ana: QTH?!
Freddy: Yep, it’s true. But Adrián came to your house, so there!
Ana: And apparently I hurt my hand for no reason, punching him!
Lupita: Pepe. Dude. Do you see the irony?
Pepe: Huh?
Lupita: Estás viendo la paja en el ojo ajeno. You did exactly the same thing Freddy did.Pepe: No, it’s totally different.
Lupita: How, Mr. Double Standards? Should I go punch Frida in the face?
Pepe: Huh?
Lupita: Estás viendo la paja en el ojo ajeno. You did exactly the same thing Freddy did.Pepe: No, it’s totally different.
Lupita: How, Mr. Double Standards? Should I go punch Frida in the face?
*El Paraíso. Supposed to be fun, I guess*
Vins: Every party needs a pooper, that’s why I invited myself!
Enzo: Here, whiny baby, have a bottle of whiskey.
Scantily clad theme dames: Ooooohhhh, Pancho! Slurp!
Pancho: I am so flattered! Women hoping for big tips are pretending to love me!
Vins: Every party needs a pooper, that’s why I invited myself!
Enzo: Here, whiny baby, have a bottle of whiskey.
Scantily clad theme dames: Ooooohhhh, Pancho! Slurp!
Pancho: I am so flattered! Women hoping for big tips are pretending to love me!
*Guardería garden. Festive*
Ladies: Surprise! Look how many heart-shaped balloons and cheesy decors can be bought on short notice!
Rebe: Yay! Barb, you’re back!
Everyone: Cheers!
Ladies: Surprise! Look how many heart-shaped balloons and cheesy decors can be bought on short notice!
Rebe: Yay! Barb, you’re back!
Everyone: Cheers!
Party time all around. Dudes: dancing. Ladies: terrible games.
*Casa Pina. Looking up*
Pina is reading “Despertar a la Vida.”
Pina: I am not believing all these affirming statements I am repeating from the book into the mirror.
Freddy: Hola, moms.
Pina: What happened?! Did Ana give you a hicky?
Frauddie: This is my reward for kissing Kari.
Pina: YAY!
Freddy: No, not yay.
Pina is reading “Despertar a la Vida.”
Pina: I am not believing all these affirming statements I am repeating from the book into the mirror.
Freddy: Hola, moms.
Pina: What happened?! Did Ana give you a hicky?
Frauddie: This is my reward for kissing Kari.
Pina: YAY!
Freddy: No, not yay.
*Avon. Hungover*
Barb: Tell me everything! Let’s catch up!
Rebe: My wedding dress is so pretty! I have had to go to extremes to hide my dress from Pancho! Let me talk about my pretty pretty dress so much it seems certain some evil will befall it!
Barb: Tell me everything! Let’s catch up!
Rebe: My wedding dress is so pretty! I have had to go to extremes to hide my dress from Pancho! Let me talk about my pretty pretty dress so much it seems certain some evil will befall it!
*Pancho’s office. Perky*
Enzo: Hey, I should buy Pina’s house! Then Chela and I can live right next door!
Vice, via phone: I am so needy and demanding! Get over here, Enzo!
Enzo: Hey, I should buy Pina’s house! Then Chela and I can live right next door!
Vice, via phone: I am so needy and demanding! Get over here, Enzo!
*Guardería. Super safe and wholesome*
Ana: I never should have taken that chump back in the first place! Loser!
Lupita: Yeah, whatever. Say, will you put on the teacher smock and watch the kids awhile? Cuz fire extinguishers and exit signs are more important than having enough qualified staff. I’ve got stuff to do.
Ana: Yeah, okay. Good thing Chela’s here, too, in case I forget to think about anyone but myself.
Ana: I never should have taken that chump back in the first place! Loser!
Lupita: Yeah, whatever. Say, will you put on the teacher smock and watch the kids awhile? Cuz fire extinguishers and exit signs are more important than having enough qualified staff. I’ve got stuff to do.
Ana: Yeah, okay. Good thing Chela’s here, too, in case I forget to think about anyone but myself.
*Casa Lopez. Chismosa*
Candy: So, why did you marry Julio? You’re such opposites!
MamaRebe: Well, we were happy for a long time. But now he’s an old codger stick-in-the-mud and he never wants to do anything fun. And I have so much life left to live!
Adrian: I’m baaaa-aaaack!
Ladies: Well, this is a little awkward. But we’ll chat with anyone! Got any good gossip?
Candy: So, why did you marry Julio? You’re such opposites!
MamaRebe: Well, we were happy for a long time. But now he’s an old codger stick-in-the-mud and he never wants to do anything fun. And I have so much life left to live!
Adrian: I’m baaaa-aaaack!
Ladies: Well, this is a little awkward. But we’ll chat with anyone! Got any good gossip?
*Kiddie Kamp. Neglecting the kiddos*
Chela: Are you giving up so easily?
Ana: Yep. Dunzo. No more mama’s boy for me.
Chela: Are you giving up so easily?
Ana: Yep. Dunzo. No more mama’s boy for me.
*University. Yikes*
Kari: Freddy! Here is a butterfly craft I made for you, to symbolize our LURVE!
Freddy: Um.
Kari: You look sad. Let me cheer you up! Let’s be butterflies!
Freddy: No, this butterfly is sad. QTH am I supposed to do with this thing? You weirdo.
Kari: Freddy! Here is a butterfly craft I made for you, to symbolize our LURVE!
Freddy: Um.
Kari: You look sad. Let me cheer you up! Let’s be butterflies!
Freddy: No, this butterfly is sad. QTH am I supposed to do with this thing? You weirdo.
*Casa de Children. Locos taking over the manicomio*
Adrián: Ana, mi amor! Look, more flowers! That’ll work, right?
Ana: Oh. Em. Gee. Get lost!
Adrián: Hey, kids, I’m in charge now! I’m so fun!
Adrián: Ana, mi amor! Look, more flowers! That’ll work, right?
Ana: Oh. Em. Gee. Get lost!
Adrián: Hey, kids, I’m in charge now! I’m so fun!
*Pancho’s office. Schmoopy*
Wedding planner: I’m thinking chamber music during dinner.
Pancho: BORING!
WP: And then Los Tucanes de Tijuana for dancing.
Pancho: That’s more like it. Let’s talk about the secret dress some more. That thing hasn’t been hyped enough. Then let’s waste this busy lady’s time making her watch us make out.
Wedding planner: I’m thinking chamber music during dinner.
Pancho: BORING!
WP: And then Los Tucanes de Tijuana for dancing.
Pancho: That’s more like it. Let’s talk about the secret dress some more. That thing hasn’t been hyped enough. Then let’s waste this busy lady’s time making her watch us make out.
*Vins’s office. More orange than usual.*
conversation with Enzo we know by heart by now
conversation with Enzo we know by heart by now
*Policería café. Angsty*
Tomás: Well, you have to figure out which of them you love more.
Pepe: Wah! So hard! I love Moany, but she was so mad!
Tom: What did you expect? How do you feel about Frida?
Pepe: I like her!
Tom: So?
Pepe: I’m no good at multiple choice tests! Tell me the answer!
Tomás: Well, you have to figure out which of them you love more.
Pepe: Wah! So hard! I love Moany, but she was so mad!
Tom: What did you expect? How do you feel about Frida?
Pepe: I like her!
Tom: So?
Pepe: I’m no good at multiple choice tests! Tell me the answer!
*Slum. Grim*
Lupita: Knock knock. Hello?
Bad Dad: What the hell do you want?! Scram!
Lupita: Where is Nayeli? I am very worried about her!
Bad Dad: I have no idea! Get out!
Lupita: Knock knock. Hello?
Bad Dad: What the hell do you want?! Scram!
Lupita: Where is Nayeli? I am very worried about her!
Bad Dad: I have no idea! Get out!
*Pancho’s office. Giddy and schmoopy*
Rebe and Pancho: Yay! Our rings!
WP: Do you think we should book another church, in case the cathedral doesn’t work out?
R and P: No way! We’re special! Everything works out for us!
Rebe and Pancho: Yay! Our rings!
WP: Do you think we should book another church, in case the cathedral doesn’t work out?
R and P: No way! We’re special! Everything works out for us!
*Kiddie Kamp. I think they lost the kids*
Adrián: Chela! Let’s be buddies!
Ana: How much trouble would I get in for punching him in the daycare? If I have a puppet on my hand when I do it, does that make it okay?
Enzo, via phone: Chela! I have a surprise for you!
Adrián: Ana! Let’s go to dinner!
Ana: I give up. Why not?
Adrián: Chela! Let’s be buddies!
Ana: How much trouble would I get in for punching him in the daycare? If I have a puppet on my hand when I do it, does that make it okay?
Enzo, via phone: Chela! I have a surprise for you!
Adrián: Ana! Let’s go to dinner!
Ana: I give up. Why not?
*Telephony. Sultry and seductive*
Candy: Hola, Arnold!
Arnold Flowerz: Muchas smooches, mi amor divina! We must meet to talk about your boutique, mi querida Candy…oops! Pina!
Pina: Traitor!
Candy: Hola, Arnold!
Arnold Flowerz: Muchas smooches, mi amor divina! We must meet to talk about your boutique, mi querida Candy…oops! Pina!
Pina: Traitor!
Mañana: The big day. The big secret wedding dress looks just like a wedding dress. But who’s that up in the balcony?
Labels: familia
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