Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Gancho Tuesday Dec. 8, '09 Rolu and Constanza Get Their "Just Desserts" A Big Double Dose Of Jealousy

Lots of action again tonight, both in and out of the ring. And the sweetest of all?...both Rolu and Constanza are twisting in the wind with jealousy! How sweet is that? So sit back and savor a re-visit to their torment. Our "rottweiler in heat" (thank you Miss Stephe) and our horndog in wheelchair were both mighty worried as well they should be.

Let's start with Rolu. We get to delight in his anguished look as big muscular Costeño arrives to act as Ximena's bodyguard, and what better way to start than with a long, oh-so-long hug between the two former lovers. Rolu looks like he just bit into something sick-making.

Elsewhere, Monita is troubled as Furia arrives at the gym and she remembers how he keeps cropping up in her dreams. She reminds him (and herself) quickly that she knows he's interested in Estrella and she and he are just friends....but, but, but....what is it about your eyes that I can't stop looking at them?...that they give me so much peace? Furia looks like he wants to follow up on this but she dashes into the gym.

Oh shoot, let's go back and watch Rolu suffer some more. Sure 'nuff, Ximena has plans for Costeño to be glued to her side NIGHT AND DAY. Rolu's squirming and whimpering something about being her husband and he's the one to protect her but Xime kindly points out that he's in a wheelchair and not a good candidate for bodyguard. She needs muscle! And Costeño can be her "escudo humano" (human shield). Now it's Costeño turn to look less than enthusiastic. But no matter. The deal is set.

So what about the deal for the wrestling match? Don Cesar has his boys in hand, reminding them that even though this is just an exhibition match, it's important. There'll be promoters and potential sponsors out there so they had better be impressive. Beto assures him that Furia will learn what he needs to from the great Fantasma. Cesar reminds Beto that he also has things to learn from Furia...things like discipline and commitment. We then have a little montage of the luchadores practicing their moves while Monita looks on troubled, wondering why she's so attracted to Furia.

We take a break for ads. You know how I feel about Christmas come-on's, so let's get back to the episode.

Whoa! The real fight action is taking place outside the ring. Constanza arrives in full Hell hath no fury mode and slaps Beto a good one. She calls him a descarado (shameless) and traidor and he's confused. Nothing new there. But no calling him out in front of his mates. Let's take it outside. Of course there's also a threatened skirmish between her and Monita. And when Connie takes a good look at Furia, she checks him out pretty thoroughly (comiendo de los ojos). Another reason for Beto to take her outside.

Not that things get clarified there. Beto keeps denying he's slept with Ximena, Connie keeps accusing. Well, you admit you were with her last night, right? Yeah. So what? Why do you care? You dumped me. Tell me you still love me, Beto adds, reveling in her jealousy. No way! You're a rat. Yes, but a rat who loves to nibble your cheese, he murmurs, moving in to kiss her neck. You're not up to my level, she sniffs. Okay, from there on, it's his lines, her lines. Mutual accusations of cheating and lying. Mutual denials. Yada yada yada.

Cheating is also the topic back at the apartment. Rolu's having a little man to man with Costeño. He knows Ximena's with someone else (Not me! sez Costeño). No, I know, sighs Rolu. And frankly, I pushed her into it. I treated her really badly. But now I feel sad. But why? I can't stand her. I wish I had a remote control so I could turn her off! I should be celebrating that she's involved with someone else. But.....I don't want to lose her.

Back to our other combatants. It's baby talk time. No, not that way. Beto's maintaining the little package is his. Ximena told him. D'ya believe that you fool?! Ximena's a nut case. In the clouds. The baby is Mauricio's. That was Connie's best shot, but Beto has a better one. Well, guess what, you're right. Ximena and I DO have a thing going on. And she is hot, baby! And you know, she told me three things. 1) I'm a bull in bed. 2) No one makes love like me. and 3) That stupid Constanza doesn't realize what she let go. Beto wins this round, absolutely.

But wait, there's more. Don Cesar is in the gym, pushing Monita to work out intensively so Mauricio can change clothes and scope out the fight between Beto and Connie. He arrives just as Constanza, driven to a jealous rage, is hurling rocks at Beto. Our little rottweiler, still quick on her feet, maintains she's out there to ascertain that Beto is indeed involved with innocent, vulnerable (yeah, right) little Ximena. Mau loftily notes that throwing rocks isn't a good way to resolve things. Connie's behind him making hilarious nyah nyah nyah faces at Beto. Best part of the whole scene.

Connie tromps back into the gym and heads for Monita's hangout next. Another slew of ads before we find out what for.

When we come back, it's hombre time. Manly talk about Ximena, her unhappiness in her marriage (Well, nobody's happy with Rolu, Beto notes) and Mauricio's concern that Beto not hurt her. Beto explains he was in love with someone else, but forget that b**tch now! They're all tramps. The only good one is Monita and from now on he's going to pursue her and try to win her back. This is not good news to Mau. Line up another customer for a big dose of jealousy, please!

As for the gals? Well, we could say Connie's lines, Monita's lines. Because it's the usual round of insults, accusations about Connie's relationship with Beto and more insults, ending with dismissal of both Beto and Monita as temporary entertainment for the upper class lovers, not a
long-term thing at all. Ooooooh. Nasty. Let's order up a great big Constanza anvil for that one.

Connie sweeps out after landing her last poisoned dart. But Monita, left alone, finds Furia's discarded outfit and begins to wonder....What if?..... Well, you know.

Mientras tanto, Cesar is advising Mau to go back to the office the back way so neither Monita nor Beto catch sight of him. And "aguas" (watch out), he adds, your wife is still around.

The next scene is absolutely delicious. Cesar, putting on his best linguistic bib 'n tucker, requests Constanza, "de la manera más atenta" to kindly exit and leave his luchadores in peace. And next time, please inform me ahead of time when you're coming. And furthermore, where is Monita? You didn't hurt her did you? Connie throws a few more naco insults around and lets him know Moni's in his "ofinucha". OH NO! Cesar's gotta save the secret. Off he goes.

No problem. He pretends to be concerned that Mauricio is picking up Furia's costume. He'll be furious is he knows you're into his stuff. He's very private, he adds, meanwhile pantomiming frantically that Monita is hiding in the office bathroom. For once, doltish Mauricio catches on quick and goes with the plan. As the talk turns to Monita, he tells Cesar to tell her he loves her and that he'll be divorced in a month or two. Monita smiles dreamily to herself as Mauricio quickly exits. All is well.

But not back at the apartment. Rolu is watching anxiously as Ximena dolls herself up to the max, with a bodice-ripping dress that, alas, dives down to the max. Waaaay too much cleavage for a luchador outing. Why don't we just stay home? he pleads, and kiss and hug and who knows where that will lead? Well, it leads right to the ads, wouldn't ya know!

When we come back, we're at the gym again. Monita's still dreamily thinking about the possibility that Mauricio might be Furia; Beto's wondering where the heck his partner is; and Cesar's trying to get his two luchadores back in the ring and back at work.

But first Beto has to fend off Monita. She wants her little piece of flesh, demanding to know why Connie pitched such a jealous fit. Are you still involved with her? No way. I'm done. Oh yeah, how many times have you said that? (plenty, we can all attest) Beto swears it's different this time. He's going to "fajar bien los pantalones" (hitch up his pants) and from now on, only you, Monita, exist for me. I'm going to keep fighting for you.

And Rolu is still fighting for Ximena. Can ya believe it? Major kissing going on. So major Ximena is forgetting everything (actually not that hard). Okay. Not only major league kisses but Rolu invites her to tell him three things.... yes really! But then a little glitch. Rolu brings up the nasty nurse scene. Yes, it was wrong, he admits, but.....

Basta ya. Three things from Ximena. And here they are:
1) It's in very poor taste to bring up that nurse. (hear hear!)
2) I forgave you already (hmmm...I think this is called "cheap grace" but oh well, good for you
Xime)
3) This fight we're having shows that this marriage really can work!
I'm super sure. So am I, murmurs Rolu. (awwwww)

Whoops. In walks Costeño to interrupt this sweet scene. Ximena swishes out the door. Rolu looks pained. Costeño looks compassionate. End of scene. (Suffer a bit more, Rolu, you deserve it!)

Okay. Things are picking up. The grand moment has arrived. The luchadora fight. The place is rocking and the whole barrio is there. Paula is yelling so loud her cop novio is going to have to take her into custody and work her over for 24 hours in his "private sector". Whew. I love their dialogue. Monita arrives and is seated between Paula and Estrella. The latter is gushing about Furia and asking Monita to help her convince him to go out afterwards. Aldo looks on, mightily amused. Monita shares the happy news about Mauricio's divorce plans. Girlish shrieks of joy.

And more ads. They're coming fast and furious as we near the end of the episode. Back in the locker room, our two lads are stretching and warming up and getting some last-minute advice from Don Cesar. After he leaves, the talk turns back to womenfolk and Beto's latest plan. Forget that other gal and the cuckold she's married to. From not on he's concentrating on Monita. And if Furia will help him land her, he'll help Furia with Estrella. Sound like a plan?

Now a strange transition. Another meeting with Salvador and Jacqui over drinks. They're basically having the same conversation of the night before. They're just friends. How great. Frienship can be better than love. Have you seen Gaby? No. I tried but she was out. But so much the better. I have the weekend to think it over. Ah, but how lucky Gaby is to have your love, sighs Jacqui. No, I'm the lucky one, Sal assures her. Clearly this scene only exists so Jeronimo can walk in the bar, see them and suspect the worst. Hey, another guy to add to our jealous list. Chido!

Back to ringside. The noise is ear-splitting. The excitement at fever-pitch. At last! Fantasma Vengador struts into the place, vaults up to the ring, falls back off , and then has another go by crawling in through the ropes. Not a propitious start. But wait! Now it's Furia, truly impressive as he successfuly vaults in, cape wafting out like huge bag wings. Whadda guy.

Previews:

Well, he looked like whadda guy until the opposing pair came in. Lordy, those two look like thugs and we have a troubling view of one of them jumping out of the ring to go after Aldo. And the fight is on! Clearly we must watch tomorrow to see what happens. They've gone and hooked us again, haven't they?

Vocabulary:
aguardiente = eau-de-vie, clear brandy made from fruit juice
escudo humano = human shield
cerdo = pig (one of Connie's insults to Beto)
borlotes = ruckus, row (Connie accusing Monita of being incapable of "civilized conversation" )
ofinucha = perjorative way of saying "office". more derogatory Connie talk
prueba de fuego = trial by fire. Cesar's admonishment about the importance of tonight's fight for our boys
comiendo de los ojos = lit. eating up with one's eyes, giving someone the onceover
descarado = shameless
aguas = watch out
de la manera más atenta = in the most courteous manner possible, as politely as possible
fajar bien los pantalones = hitch up one's pants, get tough, "man up"
chido = cool!

Dicho of the Day"

Quien pega primero, pega dos veces He who strikes first, strikes twice. (and it looks like it might be the bad guys who land the first strike. Tune in tomorrow to find out.)

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Un GANCHO, #118 December 7th: Sal gets felt up, Xime gets beat down, and Gaby gets off at the movies

Featuring special guest recapper Stephe! Take it away Stephe...

Morning, mates! Deepest apologies for the delay. I had a crisis with my parents (who are in ill health) last night, and didn’t get back home until over in the morning, around 4 A.M.-ish. I was dead tired and just had to lie down and regroup. Which meant I couldn’t get to my recording and recapping at all until this late. But hey—it’s all good. You might not have had recap with your breakfast, but you can darn sure have it with your lunch.

My Spanish is only about 50 percent, I am bleery-eyed, and I am paraphrasing, so please feel free to jump in and correct anything I get wrong, or fill in something I missed. Carlos—cheers to you, my man. Cap’n Sylvia—bless you for helping me out and posting this recap. Well, I’ve delayed you all long enough. Away we go.

*recording on*

From last time: Jerry and Rolu are trying mightily to get Xime to spill el gran secreto. But she holds out, and runs the heck out, with a quickness. No, no, no, no, NO—she’ll resolve this the Xime Way, without betraying Coni. The two knuckleheads at the dinner table are even more intrigued. Hmm.

A delighted (and ego-stroked) Beto runs off to inform the Don about tag-teaming with the Fury, which leaves Moni and masked Mau alone. [musica romantica] Moni looks after our Beto kindly, in a sisterly way, and our Fury can’t help asking if there is anyone she feels more than sisterly towards, hmm? Why yes, there is a man who just about blows her heart right out of her chest. *sigh* Must be the luckiest guy in the world, yes? Fury breathes, with a Gaze of True Longing. Moni stares back at him with soft eyes, and we wonder what she will say next…

…but we don’t find out because we abruptly switch scenes. Gah. (shake it off, Stephe, don’t be pissed)

Okay, my darlings. New stuff.

Jackie and Sal are sitting in some fancy-schmancy restaurant with bar, schmoozing and exchanging compliments along with a good bit of wine. (OMG. My captions just went out. Seriously? This can’t happen! Okay, winging it…) There’s a lot of talk about things past that have been overcome, facing one’s fears, yada yada, so on and so forth, and Jackie slyly covers Sal’s fingers with her own. Rather than look comforted by the gesture, the man glances down at her hand as if it were a water moccasin about to bite him, but that doesn’t deter her, oh no. She continues to stroke him and play the trustworthy, complimentary dame until he finally pulls his hand away to eat some salad. He halts her seduction because he loves someone else. He and Jacky can only be sincere friends. (Youch.) She seems to accept that, and offers a toast to love, which Sal changes to a toast to friendship. Was that a cutting glance she gave him as she sipped her wine, or did I imagine that?

Back to Moni and masked Mau. She is sadly recounting her and Mau’s tale of woe because of Coni’s mean manipulations, how difficult it is being separated from her man. Mau urges her not to give up on so strong a love, to fight to get it back and never be separated again. “And how do you know, eh?” she quips. “I haven’t even said who it is.” Mau insists who doesn’t matter. Just the fight in you. Moni appreciates his sweet encouragement (all together now… awwww!). He’s glad she’s taking his advice (I would imagine so). But enough about her, she wants to know more about the mysterious Furia now, who he is, why he has to keep his mask on even in private, with her. (Couldn’t you just feel Mau squirming like a worm on a hook?) He managed to squirm right off of that hook too, without giving anything away. Lucky. She accepts his mysterious nature—for now. She’s glad they met and is sure they will be very good friends. That statement gives Mau a punch to the heart as we break for a word from our dedicated sponsors.

We’re back, and my captions are gone AGAIN. I am so screwed.

Masked Mau is sitting there, ruminating on his and Moni’s conversation, and she’s doing something in the kitchen, when in walks a very excited Beto in full Lucha regalia. He’s ready to do this tag team thing, to get in the ring and show what he’s working with. Fury would rather slow things down a little, they’re going too fast. Fast indeed—they have an exhibition match tomorrow, Beto exclaims. You’re ready, my Furia! We can whoop ‘em and take the prize! Moni puts her dos centavos in. “Oh yes, do it!” Mau gives in, but makes Beto promise to bathe first. (Ouch!) Beto is absolutely beside himself and ready to celebrate. He talks Mau into going out (they owe it to their fans? Sorry I didn’t catch it) and leads the big bug from the house by the hand. Boy, were they talking 90 miles an hour or what?

Uh-oh. Back to Jackie and Sal at their table. Looks like supper is done and it’s coffee time. What is going on with her wearing one glove? That gimmick has long been taken. I guess she didn’t read the memo. Anyway, Jackie is still working the conversation. She doesn’t understand why, if he’s so in love with this other woman, he’s sitting there with her and not with the other woman. (I think.) “Her name is Gaby,” Sal admits. “You know her because she works in the group.” Jackie listens patiently as Sal gushes for a while about how Gaby shortens his breath and makes him oh, so delirious. She looks happy for the guy, and seems to encourage him. FF>> (Oops! Nope, you’re recapping and thus haven’t the privilege of fast-forwarding tonight, Stephe) I feel like I’m missing something here, mates. What is with this chummy goodness-and light, especially with Jackie in the room? She even stopped pawing his hand. Next scene.

Ah. Beto and Mau are out having drinks with their masked selves. Beto is pretty grateful to have such a terrific friend in Furia, indeed. Mau thinks Beto is drinking like a fish, eh. Beto begins waxing sadly about something that is causing him great stress and pain, the true kind of dolor way down deep. It’s a tangled situation that is driving him mad. (Gee, wonder who he’s talking about.) The woman is married, but hubby doesn’t want her, she won’t leave though she loves Beto, yada yada, boom-shakkallaka. (sobbing because I have no captions and I’m flying by the seat of my pants—help) What is this? Has Beto soured so on his situation with la momia that he’s putting heart and soul into getting Moni back? Is that what he said? I think so, because suddenly Mau about choked his entire drink back up. Wow. Beto is keen on masked Mau getting with our Estre and helping him secure Moni, so they’ll both be happy men. (If only he knew who he was talking to. Har.) Mau looks dumbfounded behind his mask when Xime sweeps in, in that cute coat she was wearing yesterday and starts chatting them up. Mau plays it cool when Beto introduces Xime to “the Masked Fury.” She thinks they’re both ridiculously cute.

And we’re out. While Univision is paying its bills, Viewerville bum-rushes the restroom.

We come back to Moni without any kind of lead-in. Just… boom. She’s lying in bed, thinking about how the Fury’s eyes give her really good vibes about him and all that, when someone knocks on the door. It is our Estre, all aflutter in her pretty dress. Boy, did she clean up well with that makeover! She bubbles over about how well things are going with her movie role, until Moni tell her Fury was here and Estre missed seeing him. Poor Estrellita is bummed. Fury out drinking with Beto doesn’t exactly thrill her either. But she perks up with the news about the tag team match the next day. Beto tagging with her masked bonbon means they will now be friends. Yeah, that’s usually how it works, all right. Until one side manages to betray the other and it’s on like Donkey Kong once again. Just like a telenovela.

Beto asks Xime what she thinks of his new partner and invites her to tomorrow’s match. She’s all eager to share what she thinks of las luchas, and up goes the pinkie. The girl likes taking in good fights and adores the wrestlers. I didn’t catch her second point, but lastly, she doesn’t like the costumes. Fashion emergencies, all of them, with need of a designer’s advice. (that’s our third Ouch! of the night) Xime needs to talk with Beto alone, so Fury (gratefully) excuses himself.

Sal tries to visit Gaby at her building, to no avail. He calls on his cell and leaves her a voicemail instead. [musica de guitarra romantica] “I wanted to tell you… I love you, very much.” With a little “I did it” fist pump, he turns to go to his car.

Looks like Gaby missed him because she’s at the movies, watching an extremely romantic English-language film (a period piece) while every couple around her is making out. Pobrecita! She looks uncomfortable, and deprived. On screen, the man is going to make the woman his for all eternity. The woman, lying on a bed, begs, BEGS to be taken. Gaby is swooning in her popcorn. “Yes, yes, I’m going to take you,” the man promises and strokes the woman’s neck as Gaby reaches for her own. Holy cow—it’s Sal and Gaby up there! Screen Gaby tells Screen Sal that his English is terrible and to speak in Spanish instead. No problem, as he is a vampire and is about to make her his for all eternity, what’s a little language change? (sorry I threw that in there) We shall be together para siempre. He caresses her face, her lovely neck, while viewer Gaby copies his movements and makes out with herself in her seat. Screen Sal finally sinks his fangs into Screen Gaby. I finally exhale as the scene ends without viewer Gaby starting to unbutton something.

Back at the bar, Xime is complaining for lack of a good drink, but drinks what she’s been given anyway. Beto sniffs his armpit for a second (I am not rewinding to figure out why). The subject turns to Coni, and it looks like she’s trying to convince him that he is the bambino’s papa. Other than “Why are men so foolish?” and the comparison of Coni to a carnivorous plant, I got turned around. That’s what I get for relying on captions for so long.

Mau, still in bug costume but without his mask, is on his living room sofa, contemplating Beto’s pain. He thinks back to the double wedding. A married woman, the husband doesn’t want her, she won’t leave, et cetera… Suddenly a light bulb goes on over his head (okay, it’s a dim one). Beto must be talking about Ximena. OMG, Xime and Beto??? Mau is a little impactado, and very wrong.

Xime finally convinces Beto to fight for Coni instead of leaving her to his ex-buddy Mau. “For your little Beto!” “Yes, for my little Beto!” Let’s drink on it.

After another commercial break and news up to the minute, we’re back in bed with Moni again. She’s dreaming about being with Mau when suddenly he is replaced by the Masked Fury. Something about those eyes draws her in and she gazes deeply. Perhaps a little too deeply, in fact. Moni wakes up, wondering why the heck Fury is in her dreams. (Ruh-roh!)

That morning, Mau heads into the kitchen for some juice and breakfast. And here she comes right behind him—the indomitable Coni, looking like a ray of sunshine in her pale yellow pajama robe. Her face is anything but sunshine, though. He got in late last night and she hopes he didn’t go straight to Moni with the news about their impending divorce. “Of course I didn’t. I kept my word,” a sobered Mau tells her between bites of breakfast at the kitchen island. Basically it’s a “you do as I say” and “yeah, whatever” type of conversation until… Mau voices his suspicions that her bestest bud Xime and Beto are lovers. Coni makes like a geyser and spits coffee all down that pretty robe. Heh. And Mau is like, damn, what a reaction.

Xime comes down to breakfast hung over like a mofo and sporting sunglasses. She wishes Jerry and Rolu would keep the volume down. Rolu is chewing her out, and she insists she doesn’t understand it, she spent the whole time drinking water. She gets the Third Degree about where she was, who with, etc. A suffering Xime just tries to smooth things over so the noise will stop. Rolu makes her a deal—tell him The Terrible Secret she’s holding on to and he’ll let it slide. C’mon, obey your husband, he coaxes. She considers for a split second, but refuses. Both men are exasperated, and Jerry gets the heck out of Dodge. Rolu continues to dig at her. But no go.

Back to the mansion, folks, where Coni is accusing Mau of talking stupid. Xime and Beto? Bah. Coni ain’t having any of that, even when Mau tells her Xime and Beto saw each other last night. He carefully lays down the reasons he thinks he is right about them being lovers. Well a stop must be put to this. Coni demands that Mau step back and let her handle this most delicate matter with Xime personally, with discretion. Her being a woman and all gives her a better understanding. Mau acquiesces and leaves the kitchen, leaving that morning’s melon to Coni’s mercy. In a silent rage, she squeezes a hearty slice of cantaloupe to its death. (Scary.)

Mau greets joven Aldo on his way out. It’s Saturday, I’ve taken my punishment and cleaned up my act, I want to spend the day with you, dad, Aldo says. Mau begs off, of course. He’s got Fury bidnez to attend to. He does give the lad permission to spend the day out, though, so long as he’s back home by his curfew. They hug. Aldo is most grateful. But as soon as Mau walks off, Aldo give a little laugh. “Masked Fury,” he says under his breath.

After about a zillion commercials…

Mau comes out of the mansion and drives off in his car, totally unaware that Aldo has stowed away in his back seat and will now be privy to the Bat Cave’s secret location. And boy, does Aldo get an eyeful! He admires the Fury’s motorcycle, sees the secret closet that houses the Fury’s costume, and watches his daddy transform into the invincible luchador. Masked Mau psyches himself up for the match to come, throws a few shoulder moves, and Aldo is beside himself. But then Mau hops on his cycle and leaves, and Aldo is at a loss as to how to follow him. What a cute scene—my favorite of the night!

Xime answers her door, only to have Coni come lunging in, barking at her like rottweiler in heat. Oh, snaps!

Estre and Nieves are all decked out in red and trying to get folks hyped up to see the Fantasma Vengador and the Masked Fury in tag team action. Aldo walks in (I knew that kid would get there somehow, heh), and assures Estre that he has permission to be out and about. Estre wants to talk to him privately for a sec, and leads him away. Nieves follows them with her eyes, her ribbons and red bow a’quiver.

Back at Xime’s, Coni is chasing the woman around the house and trying to kill her because of Mau’s wrong conclusion. Poor confused Xime begs for her life and gets slammed to the ground in response. (My, that is a cute blouse La Coni is wearing today.) “I’m going to kill Beto as well!” Coni screeches. “You never thought I’d find out, huh?” She hovers over Xime like some wraith from Hell, threatening her to within an inch of her life, trying to yank the hair from her scalp. She gives the woman a final shove, kicks her, and storms out while Xime cringes in despair. (Wow, that b!tch is out of control. I was going to be nice to her for Carlos’ sake, but…) Xime whines that her days are surely numbered. ‘Dead to the Caray blog’ Rolu comes around a corner and ponders what he just heard. “Is that the secret? That Xime has a lover?” Sooooo, is that what he needs to bring him to Xime’s side, maybe? A little competition? Hm.

Lawdy, Estre is talking so fast, I’ve no idea what she’s hammering joven Aldo with. Sounds like she’s making darn sure he has permission from Mau to be out of the house. (Is my recording skipping, or did that actually happen in the broadcast?) Wow. This scene is toast. Jump in, anyone.

Xime is in surprisingly good shape after being unloaded on by Mean Mad Constance. Rolu scares the crap out of her as he slowly wheels into the room in his chair. She tells him her life is in danger and she’s seen the whole movie play out in her head, yada-yada-boomdiyay. When the doorbell rings, she jumps a mile, but it’s only Costeno. She’s awfully glad to see Hot Dreadlocks, and they start making friendly-nice right in front of Rolu, who doesn’t like that one bit. Yep, that’s what you need, you douche. Competition.

Here comes Masked Mau on his big, impressive bike. Wow, imagine all that power between your legs. (sorry, had to say it) Moni arrives at the same time and tries to nonchalantly sneak by him (that dream is still bothering her, yo), but he spots her anyway and stops her to say hi. She looks so serious, he says. She’s just having some trouble sleeping, she says. We enter “cute banter” land, where the chemistry between these two is thick and heavy enough to sink a submarine. (Mau, you are pushing it!) Near the end of said banter, he wants to know what’s so odd about her dreams. I do believe Moni answers that… drum roll… he always shows up in them. Close-up on masked Mau taking in those wonderful words, and… Fin.

Advances: Hot Dreadlocks and Rolu are discussing something, the subject of which flew out of my head when, in the next instance, it appears that Moni will see Mau putting on Fury’s mask. Oooooops.

Have a great day, all!

Stephe

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Amor Monday, December 7, 2009: Whoo hoo! Don Felipe would have loved this one

For those who didn’t read the comments for Friday’s show, we got the very sad news that Don Felipe, one of our community of commenters, passed away. He loved ENDA, his partner told us. So this one’s for you, Don Felipe. Deception, cruelty, suffering lovers - all the juicy ENDA stuff we love so much. Let’s dish:

Friday: Romina tells German that she always gets what she wants, and that includes Emiliano’s love. German doubts it, and says you know my phone number, but by then I may be interested in someone else. Romina says you’ll never forget me. German gets a rise out of her by mentioning that Paloma is now available, but then says his friendship with Emiliano is more important. Enjoy your romantic wedding night! He leaves, sarcastically blowing her a kiss.

While Romina languishes alone in her bedroom, downstairs Diana is throwing quite a scene for the pop-eyed remaining wedding guests. She is spectacularly drunk and accuses Camila of stealing her husband. Orlando tells her not to insult his fiancée, which of course surprises Rafa, who, being the exemplary fellow he is, manages not to say ¿qué? or even blanche. Diana calls Camila a golfa and has another swig, and staggers out. Rafa apologizes for Diana; Orlando tells him to stay away from his mujer. Rafa is quietly disappointed, but gentlemanly.

I detect a pattern in Real del Monte. Actual golfas are never called golfas. Only upstanding non-golfas get called that. If you see it spray painted on a gate, you know a saint lives inside. Once you get that, you can navigate Real del Monte society pretty easily. If you’re watching ENDA and you don’t know the word golfa by the end of the telenovela, you’re not really trying.

Okay, here we go with the new stuff.

Paloma thanks her art students for coming, and they said they had a great time, and that Padre Juan had to do something in Pachuca today. Paloma puts two and two together. Chava says Too bad Em couldn’t be here, but he’s off getting married to that blonde girl he doesn’t like when he actually wants to be with you. I know that because he told me.

Em is in a park and he has written Paloma’s name in the dirt. How he wishes he had married her instead today!

Samuel comes into the living room to find that the wedding guests have evaporated and only Orlando and Camila are there. Where’d everybody go? he wants to know. They’re gone, says Camila, and I want you to leave too. Samuel advises Orlando that Camila’s a handful and that he’s going to regret going with her. She’s too demanding. Camila throws Rafa a small smile that I swear looked like our actress Laura Flores was about to crack up and turn the whole thing into an outtake. She got well into her upcoming scene with Orlando before it looked like she could keep a straight face and get down to weeping like she was supposed to do.

Rafa deposits Diana on the couch at their home and turns to leave. There’s nothing left in this house for me, he says. Diana says you drove me to this. How do you think I felt, seeing you kissing her? Rafa says Camila had nothing to do with our separation. You brought it on yourself. I just didn’t love you any more.

Camila isn’t marrying Orlando for money – she’s doing it because you wouldn’t give me a divorce. Diana scoffs. Rafa says it doesn’t make any difference what they do now, no matter what, it’s over forever between you and me.

Camila is (smiley) weepy and begs Orlando to forgive her for what happened just now. Orlando doesn’t care about that, but wants to know about the kiss Diana saw. Camila assures him that since they decided to marry, her behavior with Rafa has been very proper.

Orlando says so our engagement is still on? Camila says that’s more something you need to decide. Orlando tells her she’s the amor de su vida. Okay, says Camila, but I hope you don’t mind being with someone whose reputation has just been wrecked. He says I don’t care what anybody says, I love you. Camila blubbers on his shoulder.

At the exhibition, Paloma’s teacher Matilda is completely stoked about Paloma’s big success. Paloma is thrilled about the scholarship. Matilda tells her Don Eugenio is an important figure in art circles and he can help her a lot. Paloma wants to know where the scholarship is for. Matilda says you can take it in Real del Monte (odd – is there an art school there? or is a beca like a paid apprenticeship?) or Mexico City. Why, Eugenio’s son Gabriel is one of the teachers! Paloma doesn’t look too thrilled, but Matilda doesn’t notice because she’s hugging her.

Romina tells Camila she can’t believe that she got mixed up with her new father-in-law. How embarrassing! Camila says he’s the one who kissed me. Okay, I’m not perfect, I make mistakes. Romina says it’s your fault my wedding was a huge scandal. Tomorrow all of Real del Monte will be abuzz talking about us!

Romina wonders when Emiliano will come back. It’s their wedding night! Camila says where did you two expect to sleep? Romina says they never talked about it. Camila starts to comment, but Romina says don’t keep throwing cold water on my relationship. You’re the one who ought to worry – I doubt Orlando will stick with you knowing you are the lover of your friend’s husband. Camila yells I’m not his lover! Talk to the hand, says Romina.

Tell Emiliano when he comes back that he’s to come up and see his wife, she orders her mother.

Lili’s boyfriend has driven Paloma and Lili and another girl home from Pachuca and they’re dropping Paloma off. Emiliano, in a very cranky mood, standing outside Romina’s house, sees them pull up. The group laugh and say goodbye, and suddenly Paloma spies Emiliano on the other side of the street. She looks serious. She also looks like she has too much blush on. Very clowny.

Em bolts across the street to intercept Paloma who supposedly is hurrying the few steps to the front door, but actually is moving like molasses. Em says he couldn’t help himself. He loves her! Paloma says she loves him too, but there’s no future for their love.

He leans in to kiss her, but she runs into the house. Seems like with Rufi out of town, she has a key. Their song kicks in, outside he leans against the wall and looks tragic; inside she sobs that she has to forget him.

Felipa, the new maid, comes into Carlota’s room and says she forgot to tell her, but Rufi called, and she was none to happy that Felipa was working there. Carlota tells her not to tell Paloma that she called. She doesn’t want Paloma to suffer because Rufi has abandoned her.

Now we see Rufi, tucked into bed. Edmundo’s granddaughter asks her if she wants dinner. Rufi says she has a headache and kind of a chill, but when that happens, it’s always because she’s too tired. She’ll just have a good sleep and then wake up good as new.

I wish anvils had theme songs so we could know when they’re descending.

Carlota, who has the eyes of a bat, is reading in bed in such a darkened room that we can barely make out Paloma as she comes in. Carlota says she looks sad, maybe weepy. Paloma says it’s just because as of today my life changes. I’m going to concentrate on my painting career. That’s all I’m going to think about.

Chris is at dinner with Padre B who asks how it went with Paloma’s (fake) dad. Chris says he guesses Paloma is that guy’s kid, but he’s confundido. That guy said things about Macarena that he wishes he’d never heard. Padre B says then there are no further obstacles to your accepting the bishop position. Time to bury Macarena for once and for all.

Chris says there are some things that seem to add up, but others that don’t. Padre B says don’t wear yourself out thinking about it. Macarena is gone and it’s up to God to judge her, not us. He picks up his dishes and leaves, and Chris looks even more confundido.

Morning has come to Real del Monte. Of course, we’re all dying to know where Emiliano spent the night. Goody! We don’t have to wait to find out, because there he is asleep in his car in front of Romina’s house. Camila, coming out to get the paper, sees him and taps on the car window. He tells her that he came to their house last night because he knew it was his duty, but he fell asleep in the car.

Camila says she knows he just married for the baby. He says as long as that baby survives, he’ll be around. He just feels awkward about invading her privacy. Camila says it’s your home now, come on in.

She wants to tell him about something that happened yesterday, she says. She tells him about what Diana said. Em says don’t worry. I know what a fine person you are, and I know how much my father loves you. She tells him she’ll be marrying Orlando and Em sputters but … but… Which one do you love? Camila says that’s a complicated question. Em wishes them every happiness

Romina is having a hissy fit. She keeps calling “Mama!” but nobody’s answering. Finally, she gets out of bed and starts down the stairs, bending a little as her innards obviously hurt. Camila comes back in with Em and exclaims about her being out of bed. Romina says I was hungry and nobody was bringing me anything! Emiliano says Don’t talk to your mother like that.

Em picks Romina up and carries her up the stairs. Dios mio, sighs Camila.

Camila, if you don’t want to be thought of as the town hussy, it would be better to wear a blouse where your bra doesn’t show right through.

Paloma asks Carlota if Rufi has called. Carlota says no, she’s probably busy with that Edmundo. Strange, says Paloma. Carlota says it’s just as well. Rufi was slowing down and this new gal really gets things done. Paloma says well, she’s younger. But nobody can replace Rufi, she’s part of the family. Let’s not argue about it, says Carlota pleasantly.

Paloma tells her that she heard she could start her scholarship right here in Real del Monte and she wants to find out about it. Carlota says you have time, plus you’re still in school and you have exams coming up. Paloma says she’s going to go this very day to find Gabriel, Don Eugenio’s son, as he’ll be her teacher. She tells Carlota she doesn’t go for him.

Has an anvil fallen and crushed our Rufi? The granddaughter tries to wake Rufi but can’t. Holy cow, is she dead? Apparently not – the granddaughter says she’s burning up with fever.

Camila answers the door and steps back, stunned. Who is it? Samuel? Some new character? Nope, it’s Rafa saying You’re going to marry Orlando???

At breakfast, Angie tells Orlando that he behaved very well last night, not too macho. He said still, he doesn’t want Diana saying things like that to Camila. Angie says Camila’s lucky to have a man like him.

Orlando says is that why you’re leaving? I thought we had sorted that out and were just like pals. Angie says some things can’t be fixed so easily. I wish you every happiness. You are a wonderful man and I hope that Camila values you as she should. Orlando’s ears prick up. What are you trying to say? Nothing, says Angie

Orlando says you think she loves Rafa and not me? Angie says she’s just not real sure in her decisions right now. She’s a marvelous woman, but I’m not thinking that she’s as certain in her decision as you are in yours.

Back at Camila’s front door. She tells Rafa Em is in the house and Romina needs breakfast, so he needs to leave.
R: You don’t love him, you love me.
Music: Rafa & Camila theme, too loud
C: I’ve made up my mind.
R: Don’t marry him.
C: I’ve decided what I’m going to do with my life. I’m tired of being alone
R: There’s something between us. Let’s live what we were meant to live, and when Diana gives me my divorce, we’ll marry.
C: Leave, Rafa. I’ve made my decision and I’m not going to change my mind.
R: Even if you know that Orlando is not the man you really want to be with?
C: You’re wrong. Orlando is the man I love and the man I want to stay with.
Music: TUMMMM!

Em is standing at the end of the bed where Romina is ensconced. She says Let me get this straight: You’d rather sleep all night in a car than in the bed with me? We’re supposed to become a family! Em says don’t kid yourself. The marriage was just a piece of paper. I think it’s better I stay at my father’s apartment until this bleeding episode stops.

No, Emiliano, Romina says firmly. The deal is that we stay under the same roof. Em gets all tight-lipped and says okay, I’ll stay under the same roof, but not in the same room. You stay here and I’ll stay in the living room. Romina says but what will my mother say?

Em says she knows better than anyone why we married. You and I will never share a bed and we will never have relations. Romina says that’s crazy talk. It’s not manly. Em says why, because I don’t want to sleep with a woman I don’t love? Romina says you know, desire, sex… we can find a way to be together. Em crankily says but I don’t want to.

Are you going to take up celibacy? asks Romina. Em says all I know is I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to touch you or kiss you. Romina says it’s Paloma isn’t it? Em says think whatever you want. I’ll stay here until you’re better, then we’ll move to the place Orlando got us. And when the baby comes, we’ll see what happens.

What do you mean by that? says Romina. I mean that the reason I married was for the baby , says Em. But don’t have any illusions: We are together as parents of a baby, not as a man and woman who love each other.

Lili has come to Paloma’s house with juicy gossip. Paloma shows her to the tiny patio garden so Carlota won’t overhear. Lili says Romina’s marriage was stopped.

Don Eugenio has stopped by his son’s spacious studio where there are paintings propped all around. Gabriel wants to show him something special and he dramatically whisks a sheet from the giant Virgin painting he is restoring. Don Eugenio gasps. He gets a work light and directs it on the canvas to study the detail. Magnificent! If you ask me, the huge thing looks like a rather crude Virgin like you’d see in one of the California missions. But what do I know?

Not much, because we find out it’s from the 18th century. Wait. So are the missions now that I think of it.

Anyway, Don Eugenio ribs his son good-naturedly about the mystery woman, then tells him that he needs to be very careful with that young girl, because she seems to have suffered a great deal. It’s in her paintings, in her face. Gabriel says it’s her sorrowful face that drew me to her so much. I want to find out all about what is within her.

You can’t find that out, says Don Eugenio. I think Gabriel says I just don’t want anyone in Real del Monte to know my secret. Don Eugenio says I won’t tell, and he hugs his son warmly.

Back to Lili telling Paloma the latest. Paloma says you mean that Romina might lose her baby? Pobrecita! Lili wants to hear what Em said – she saw him run up. Paloma says that he loves me. I guess he looks so sad because of the baby. Lili says he’s sad because he married that idiot. Paloma reports she said she loved him too and then ran into the house. Lili is amazed she didn’t have a nice kiss. Paloma says he’s married! I have to honor that, mainly for the baby. Lili thinks she’s very noble.

Inez is walking by the church with Carlota, telling her about the wedding and that Romina almost lost her baby during it. And then Diana told everybody she’d seen Camila kissing Rafa! Ay! says Carlota. What an immoral woman! Now I realize why her husband abandoned her.

She spots Chris walking by and abandons Inez, running over to him. She asks him if he talked to Paloma’s father. He says he’d rather not talk about it. Why? she says. Out of pride because you don’t want to admit that you were wrong about Macarena and that I was right? Macarena was a golfa who deceived you. I hope your fantasy of the pure Macarena is permanently dead and gone.

Chris says her spirit will always be with us. Carlota takes a step closer and says Does that mean you’ll never love me? That’s right, says Chris. If I had it to do over, I’d still chose her, faults and all.

Edmundo is at Rufi’s bedside, dressed as always in a mariachi outfit. Maybe he even has mariachi pajamas. The doctor tells him it looks like Rufi ate something bad and had the throw-ups and diarrhea, and now she just needs a lot of rest. Rufi listens. The doctor says she has to stay in bed for a week. Edmundo tells her now she has to stay longer, and he will stay by her side and take care of her personally. Rufi rolls her eyes.

Back to Carlota who says Don’t you desire me? Chris says I don’t want to go back to that theme. I just met Paloma’s father, that’s all. Carlota says I know it hurt you to find out about Mac. I would rather not have hurt you with that. Chris says after all these years of lies, I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t, and it’s unfortunate that Mac isn’t here to tell us what really happened.

Mac could have been with a thousand men, and I wouldn’t care. For me, she is a wonderful woman. I looked into her eyes, I felt her heart, I felt her soul. I won’t forget her. You understand? He walks off and Carlota’s lip begins to tremble. She starts to cry.

We tear ourselves away from that delightful scene to see Padre B, who is on the phone with the archbishop’s office. He says he thinks Chris is in the clear. The priest on the other end says he’s worried about what that woman said about his having a child (how did he know that?). Padre B says that woman isn’t right in the head. Okay, says the priest. When Bishop Calixco comes, I’ll tell him that Chris can be nominated. Padre B sighs happily.

Paloma is praying in church. As she leaves, she runs into Chris and says she heard he was in Pachuca. Was he there to see her father? She says he’s very disappointing and that if she had a father, she’d like to have someone like Chris. Chris says if he had a daughter, he’d want someone like her. Perfect! says Paloma. You’re the only person I’ll call Father.

This time it’s Diana who opens her door and looks upset. We find out it’s Camila who wants to come in and talk.

Carlota is pacing in her room. What to do? A lightbulb goes on over her head. She rushes to the medicine cabinet and gets out a couple of dark bottles with stoppers. She pours some liquid from one bottle into the other. I’m hoping she’ll glug it down and turn into a werewolf, but she puts the stopper in and says This is just the correct dosage.

Closeup of the bottle! Belladonna.

Avances: Closeup of the bottle again. Who will she poison? Thumbnail photos pop up. Chris? Alonso? Emiliano? Paloma? Carlota says happily From now everything is going to be different.

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Sortilegio 12-07: in which Katia gets frappuccini and Secretary Mary doesn't.

Yesterday: Fer and Vic have their usual conversation ("Our love, it can't be." "I'll always be waiting for you.").

Fer bursts into Alex's office with the newspaper gossip (that the Lombardos are getting DNA tests). Alex calls his lawyer and orders him to find out who leaked the news, he's sure it was Bruno.

When Bruno calls on the phone for MJ, Vic rushes to pick up the other line. He boasts: it was he who leaked the DNA story AND "Alex promised to give up the presidency and divorce you in exchange for the blood transfusion." Poor MJ is beyond shocked. Vic isn't too happy either.

I forget the context but there was a cute dicho: "Nunca digas de agua cuando no hay de beber." (Never talk about water when there's nothing to drink.)

The dramatic kidnapping subplot got wrapped up. Erick's been regularly driving to his dacha with food for the sequestered Mechita and her brother Gabriel, whom Bruno ordered him to kill. Erick's pretty antsy about not having complied, and he's annoyed to be buying their food with his own money, he waves his gun at them, tied up on the floor there, and shouts and threatens to bring rat poison next time...

... However, at the end of the episode Chucho and Pedro, the tiny twin sidekicks - who have been working on renting a storefront for their little business and who get Alex to be their guarantor - do the old "follow-that-car, cabby" thing and tail Erick from his "you're fired, here's your last paycheck" meeting. They watch him enter and then leave his dacha; then they spring the unhappy siblings, who I think are going to go stay with an aunt someplace, which is probably a bad idea because Erick knows about the aunt, but that's for another episode.

Meanwhile, after eavesdropping on Bruno's vicious call, Vic is all, "Oh my son Bruno is a monster, he knows no limits" when Alex gets home. He takes MJ into another room and admits it's true, he did promise to divorce her.

He has a plan, though. His plan, vetted already by his lawyer, is to sign all his worldly goods over to MJ and then divorce her so Bruno doesn't get anything. They'll remarry later. In the mean time they'll pretend to be divorced in the day and snuggle in bed at night. She doesn't love this plan but reluctantly goes along with it.

"What if something bad happens?" she asks and he makes the classic mistake of saying, "Nothing bad will happen," which as we all know summons the Acme Anvil of Doom to hover directly over their heads.

Raquel's chauffeur tells Ezekiel about Raquel's trips to visit Useless. "I'm afraid if I tell, Raquel will fire me - but if I don't tell, Alex will fire me!" Ezekiel has a little temper tantrum about how much better things were in the Old Days. Vic comes in and the chauffeur tattles about Raquel's little visits. Vic knew already.

Vic goes to see Bruno at his hotel, I don't know what she imagined she'd accomplish. She tells him he's a monster and he shouldn't make Alex and MJ divorce. He yells, "Everybody is against me! I'm only sticking up for what's mine!" I loved him in this scene.

Fer cheerfully asks Secretary Mary how his sister Katya is doing as an employee. How awkward! She tells him, reluctantly, that Katya's on the phone a lot and has a boyfriend. She doesn't tell him that Katya is a snobby, disagreeable minx who tells Mary: "*I* went to college and you didn't and *I* am a member of the family and you're just an employee and *I* have class and you don't and *I* am going out to get a frappuccino."

Ugh, Paula is an egregiously whiny mugrosa (snotnose) in her one brief scene tonight. She snivels and complains to MJ about the humble accommodations she's sharing with her dad. She's been protesting by staying in her room and not eating. She sobs and begs MJ to let her come back and lounge around the palace in the style to which she has become accustomed.

That evening, Vic mourns and mopes in Felipa's company. The Doc calls and asks, "When can I come pick you up tonight for our dinner date?" "I have to cancel, I'm not in the mood." Then Fer calls and asks, "Can I come see you?" "Oh, yes, come, I need to see you." Felipa snickers about this; Vic tells her, "The Doc is a nice guy but nothing more."

Alex has secretary Mary secretly book three seats (for him, MJ, and the lawyer) on a flight to Mexico City, the only place they can get divorced quickly. Katya tries to listen in as Mary is trying to book the tickets ...

And it gets on Mary's last nerve. She hangs up, goes to Alex, and, crying, says she can't take Katya any more - Katya is always leaving to get frappuccinos, she's constantly on the phone, undoubtedly to a boyfriend, and she sticks her nose in all the sensitive business ... Alex promises to take care of it; he leaves his office so Secretary Mary can make the necessary calls. As he leaves he sees Katya on the phone...

I have to say, I am horribly afraid - after the strong hints lately that Useless knows some dame who looks exactly like MJ - that, oh no, we're going to have one of those d*%#n "identical evil twin" subplots. I can't take it. Oh noes! Signing out...

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Saturday, December 05, 2009

Sortilegio, 12/04/09: No More Mother Goose


Capítulo 47?

We return with a quick rehash of the night past to Merida, the land of rumba and rumbles and of the risqué rich, just as the scurrilous scandals of the lurid Lombardo lifestyle are about to leap from lip to gossiping lip. As Viewerville straps itself in for another ride on the dark side, the Mexi-trash Twins are discussing Bruno’s bed-ability and Maura is advising licentious Lisset that fooling around with a sociopath like Bruno is a dangerously stupid thing to do; Paula is telling Mary Jo about the run-in at the Jacuzzi with Raquel and Roberto and gets a scolding from her big sis for daring to put herself in a compromising social situation by goofing around with a married man; and Bruno is meeting with the newspaper reporter, Saldivar, to give him the salacious scoop on Victoria’s extramarital affair with Antonio Lombardo, explaining how it led to her having his two illegitimate children, one of which is (duhn-duhn-duhn-duhnnn!) he himself.

Bruno gives the reporter the details about the affair taking place while Vicki was still married to Samuel Albeniz and adds that he and his sister are currently getting DNA tests done to prove their right to be recognized as a Lombardo. The reporter notes that this will destroy his mother’s reputation and is curious that this doesn’t seem to bother El Bruto; but Bruto slides right by that with practiced arrogant ease. He ignores him and says he can go with what he has in the gossip column [nota, nota sociedad] and then once the DNA results come out in a few days he should give the story four columns’ worth (twice the normal size for a story). He emphasizes that he is to keep his name completely out of it. The reporter takes offense at this questioning of his professional ethics, then says he’ll have to get his boss’s permission to run with the story because of the Lombardo’s power and influence. Bruno leaves the reporter a thousand pesos for “coffee” as incentive and takes off.

At the lab, while waiting on Raquel to finish her Do Not Ask test, Vicki mentions to Bobo that Raqui told her about wanting to get a divorce. Bobo says he’s objects to the divorce, but it’s not because he’s still in love with her. With his best poker face, he tells her that it’s simply that he doesn’t feel he has a reason to divorce her. (Whoring is obviously not gender-specific.) Vicki asks if Raquel has reasons, but there’s no time for Bobo to answer her because Drama Queen has just rushed back in to complain that she’s had to avoid the (huff-huff-n-puff) supposedly questioning stares of the staff. Of course, she then turns around and immediately makes a big to-do with the nurse not to go spreading tales to the press. This irritates Bobo. “--Why’d you do that? You just gave her the idea!” They quarrel about it on the way out. Vicki rolls her eyes and Bobo shakes his head. He knows by now that he might as well spit into the wind. (Viewerville’s women immediately turn to their significant others to plead for assurances to mercifully kill them in their sleep before letting them turn into anything even closely resembling Raquel.)

At Lombardo, Inc., Alex informs Fernando that Gabriel didn’t show up for his therapy that morning at the hospital. It seems he and Meche grabbed their things and disappeared off the map. Alex thinks they were warned, but Nando is inclined to think they were threatened and ran away. It could have been Bruno, Erick, or even Chucho since Chucho told them they might end up in jail if she came to work there once Alex found out. Fernando then mentions he finally got the ever-elusive judge who performed the sham marriage to answer his e-mails. The guy is about to go on another safari but Nando doesn’t know where. Alex hopes that Bruno doesn’t find out where he’s going before they do. The two discuss the lawsuit and reckon that the judge dealing with their case will be discreet about the results of the DNA tests.

Fernando then mentions he’s coming over to the house later to discuss plans with Victoria for the archeological complex they want to develop. He’s excited just being near her. (I take time out to breathe deeply into my paper bag.) Alex gives him an atta-boy for his persistence. (Sorry, but I say this puppy is sick.) Alex changes the subject then, and tells Puppy Boy that he threw Bruno out and that Bruno rather rudely reminded him about divorcing MJ as part of the deal they struck. Fernando tells him that he has no reason to comply with such absurd demands from crazy Bruno. Alex reminds him that he was desperate and would have sold his soul to the Devil himself. Nando tells him he can’t do it because he’ll just be playing into Bruno’s hand if he does. Alex seems to have a plan, though, and he says that two can play at that game. (Viewerville lets loose with a sigh of relief and thinks it’s about time and then some for Alex to ditch the Marquess of Queensbury for Machiavelli.) “--If he can play dirty, then I’m going to play the same game.”

Back at the Lombardo manse, Pau, MJ and Papi Pedro are merrily chatting away till MJ reminds Paula that it’s time to go home (wherever and whatever that is now). Pau entertains them with another temper tantrum because she knows that this time there’s no way she can avoid having to exchange the luxurious Lombardo lifestyle for Papi Pedro’s pocilga. [cuchitril = hovel/ pocilga = pigsty, both words being totally interchangeable in Paula’s dictionary.] MJ tells her she doesn’t need her arguing with Raquel every time they run into each other. (MJ needs her space and Paula—for all her good points—is a regular pain in the ass when it comes right down to it.) Pau screams that her sister is just being selfish and stomps out of the room. (Hubby interrupts this tender scene with a snicker to remark that Pau would probably machine-gun a bus full of crippled children to stay there.) Pedro says it would be fine if she could stay at the Lombardo’s, but Mary Jo says she doesn’t want him left alone, even though he reminds her that Chucho lives with him now and he is not alone. She keeps the possibility open for later, depending on what happens once Pau moves back in with him. (Ok. So just what does she expect to change her attitude? As the ditty goes, “How ya gonna get ‘em back on the farm once they’ve seen Paree?”)

At the same time, Bruno calls the house to have Zeke pack up his things and have Erick bring them to him at the hotel he’s moved to.

Outside, Erick, gripes to Arturo about Alex firing him and throwing out Bruno. Artie tells him if they were thrown out there had to be a reason, but Erick insists Alex did it just for the hell of it. Buttlick goes inside to help with Bruno’s things.

The Rolls drives up and Raqui, Bobo and Vicki get out. Drama Queen, still fuming, storms off to the chalet. Vicki complains about her daughter’s nasty personality. Bobo agrees and says the problem is that she doesn’t think of anyone but herself. Vicki tells him they need to talk further about his situation.

The first thing Raquel does is call up Uli to bitch about her embarrassing predicament with the results of the DNA test and Bruno’s going public. She’s also having a hissy fit over the fact that Roberto knows about the two of them. Uli asks if he actually said something to her. She shouts at him hysterically that he didn’t mention Uli by name, only that he knows she has a lover. They’ve got to see each other ASAP!

It’s much quieter on the terrace where Bobo and Vicki are discussing his and Raquel’s possible divorce. Vicki is opposed unless they simply don’t get along with each other. (That’s a tactful way of putting it.) He’s agreed, he says, obviously tiptoeing through the pesos here. He skillfully avoids any mention of the truly hellacious relationship they have. Vicki asks why they’ve never had any children. Bobo blames it all on Raquel, saying that in the beginning she never wanted any and then things cooled off, the relationship got rough and stale. In the end, it just wasn’t right. Vicki asks if they could wait with the divorce until things blow over. He can stay in the chalet and she can move back into the main house. Vicki also wants to know if he might have some “female friend” of sorts. He answers in the negative. Just then Paula, MJ and Pedro come outside.

Vicki and Bobo walk up and she gives a warm greeting to Pedro. He laps it up. (If I were Pete I’d be pinching myself and wondering why the Ice Queen’s suddenly melted.) MJ mentions he’s moved to Merida. Pedro and MJ explain the new pottery business that he and Chucho are starting. (Yawn.) Vicki offers to help anyway she can. (That’s reason enough for another pinch.) Bobo offers to take Pedro and Pau back home. After they leave, Vicki offers Mary Jo to let them come back and live there in the bungalow again if they like. Mary Jo says she refuses to take advantage of the family that way. Vicki accepts her conscientious answer. The conversation turns to Mary Jo’s mother and MJ tells her she died when she was about three.

Meanwhile, Fernando leaves the office for home but first he asks Mari where his sister is. Sainte Mari says she had a phone call and disappeared and has no idea where she went.

Nando’s kid sis, who I not so fondly think of as Crotchya, is paying a visit to Bruno at his new digs. From the looks of it, Bruno is looking forward to a little afternoon delight with his favorite juvenile delinquent. They share a little statutory romance and he warns her to be discreet about their relationship. She lies about her chats with Lis and denies ever having done something so ridiculous. In between kisses he persuades her to get him the file of Alex’s uncle, Roman Villavicencio, out of the company archives so that he can use it to win his lawsuit against Alex. “--Lawsuit? What lawsuit?” (Golly geez! Older men are so intriguing……)

Speaking of Alex, he’s on the phone with his attorney. Lic. Quiñones tells him, yes, he can give his money to whomever he wants: a charity, the Church, or any beggar off the street. Alex mentions he remembered Quiñones saying that Bruno might have a card up his sleeve. LQ says yes he did, and then mentions that the judge chose a lab that he trusts, so he doubts the news of their DNA tests will get out.

Pau and Pedro enter the apartment building. Pete’s making excuses for the “simple” accommodations. Pau takes one look around and crinkles up her nose. (It’s rough, but not exactly the roach motel that Meche or Julia live in.) She finds her room and slams the door in Pedro’s face. Chucho winces. She takes one look around her new bedroom and begins to bawl. (That Tequila Sunrise paint job would do it for me. Ugh! Just looking at it is enough to give me a hang-over. On the other hand, what’s to complain about, Pau? He gave you the t.v.) The two men commiserate over Pedro’s parental predicament.

Mary Jo continues discussing her family with Vicki. She tells her that her dad’s not a bad guy. He has just had an unfortunate life. He became both father and mother to the girls very early in his life. Vicki wonders why they visited her mother’s grave so rarely. Supposedly they left his hometown and transferred her mother’s remains when they moved to Saqui. MJ says she thinks he never visited the grave much afterward because the whole experience was too painful for him. Vicki still thinks it’s odd to have moved the remains to Saqui and then avoided visiting the grave. MJ says she hadn’t really thought about it before.

Alex comes back from work. He kisses Mary Jo passionately. (Come to think of it, that Italian hairdresser does know a few tricks. Kudos.) Vicki smiles and excuses herself. He tells Mary Jo that whatever happens, he loves her more than life itself. She doesn’t like the sound of that and says when he says things in that tone she gets frightened, since it usually means something pretty ugly is going to happen. (Probable divorce alert!) Alex says he just wants her to know that he would never leave her. They kiss and hug again.

Meanwhile, Buttlick is outside in the patio area of Bruno’s new no-tell hotel waiting to deliver Bruno’s personal things to him. He hides behind a pillar when he sees Crotchya leaving. The clerk comes outside and tells him which suite Bruno’s in.

Saldivar is now trying to persuade his boss to let him go with the Lombardo story. The boss tells him it’s dangerous. If it isn’t true it will open the paper to a major lawsuit and could lead to them shutting the entire paper down. Saldivar says his source is 100% reliable and the story is true. He suggests that they print it initially as gossip; then when the DNA results come out they can give it four columns. He’s sure the paper will sell like hotcakes and that the story might even go national. His editor demands to know his source or he won’t go with the story. Saldivar eventually gives in and tells him it’s Bruno Albeniz. The editor nearly has a heart attack when he hears it’s Sra. Lombardo’s own son.

Bruno tells Buttlick to go to the company and demand his severance pay. Buttlick says fine, but complains he’s still out of work. Bruno tells him he’ll still be working for him and getting the same salary as before. Bruno tells him to visit his cousin and find out what they’re saying around the barrio about Meche and Gabe. Afterwards he’s supposed to go back to his house and wait for him to call if he needs him for something else. For now he can consider himself on vacation. Buttlick heads out and Bruno calls the front desk with a request for daily deliveries to his room of every national and local paper they can get him.

Back at Lombardo, Inc. Mari is trying to tell Katia that she can’t just up and leave during working hours. The smart-mouth little brat tells her to lay off because she’s nothing more than the secretary there. Alex is the only boss so, “Ubicate!” [Figure it out and get real already!] She could care less about Mari’s bitching. Again Sainte Mari says nothing. Katia tells her she’s going to bathroom to avoid getting coughed on. Erick walks into the reception area as the blond bimbette-in-training walks out sucking on her lollipop. He explains he’s there for his severance check. After Mari gives him directions to Payroll, he asks her who the girl was that just left. He says he thought he’d seen her around the Lombardo’s. Mari tells him she’s Fernando’s sister. He makes a mental note of one more reason to consider his boss something akin to a loose turd.

As it turns out, Crotchya is really down in the archives asking for help from one of the employees to show her where the dead files are.

A bit later, Felipa and Vicki are on the back patio discussing Mary Jo’s mother and the fact that Pedro rarely visited his dead wife’s grave. Felipa suggests that he killed her and then wanted to stay away from her and the site of the supposed crime. Vicki laughs that she’s been watching too much television. Felipa admits she was just kidding around [pura vacilada]. She thinks it’s more likely his wife might have cheated on him or was mean and he only brought the remains back to give the girls a place to pray for her. “If she did cheat on him there was no reason for the girls to have known.” Just then Vicki notices Raquel is changed and walking towards the carport. They wonder where she’s going now. Felipa suggests it’s to see Meowra. Vicki shakes her head in utter frustration.

Raqui starts yelling for Arturo and finds him catnapping on the floor in the back of his cab. She wants the keys to the Beemer and he worries about why he can’t drive her instead. She asks him why it matters. He tells her that they just fired Erick and he’s worried that he’s next. She is surprised that Erick got fired. Artie tells her that Sr. Alex fired him and threw out Sr. Bruno at the same time. She screams at him for the keys and peels out of the driveway. Vicki notices that she’s driving herself. Felipa says, well yeah. Vicki asks why she answered like that. Felipa catches herself and says she was just agreeing with her.

Upstairs MJ and Alex are sharing a little down-time playing board games. She stops and says she’s worried because it’s not the first time he’s made little asides that make her think that something bad is going to happen to them. He fudges a little and says he’s just worried about the problem with Bruno and the trial. She asks if it’s got to do with money and he says yes. She tells him she doesn’t care if he’s a poor man or not. He says he’s still got to defend what’s right and just or his life will turn into a fiasco. He tells her to forget about all that and they begin the smooch-fest all over again.

Across town, Raqui shows up outside Uli’s place and notices Bobo’s car parked out front. She curses and calls Uli’s cell to find out what’s up. Uli’s inside asking Bobo why he’d ask such a question when his cell rings. He tells Bobo it’s his wife calling him. He answers and Raquel tells him they had a date and to get rid of her husband. Uli refuses. He says he brought a friend over and they’re having a pleasant conversation, so it’ll have to wait till later. (I think that’s the gist of it. The CC went out here.) She hisses at him to get rid of both of them. He hangs up on her. She is ready-to-explode impactada. She mumbles to herself about WTF is going on with Uli and then walks away in a huff to wherever she parked her broomstick.

Inside, Roberto demands an answer. “Did you use a condom with Raquel or not?” Uli says he doesn’t remember. Sometimes he did but at other times he didn’t. “What is the problem?” Bobo, he says, certainly didn’t use a condom when he forced himself on her the last time, did he? If she did get pregnant, he sneers, he and Roberto can share paternity. Bobo does not appreciate the tasteless attempt at humor; he calls Uli a shameless S.O.B. Uli doesn’t understand the concern here since they’re both bi-sexuals. Bobo gets mad. “Because you messed around with my wife!” Uli pours them both another drink and mocks him. “My wife. My wife. Heh-heh. How macho-o-o!” Bobo grabs him by the collar and yells at him. “You continued sleeping with her and had unprotected sex!!” [hacerlo a pelo] Uli apologizes for upsetting him.

Bobo gets up and looks around the apartment. “Nice apartment.” Uli lies and says he pays for it all with the money he got from Maura and the Mario Aguirre scam. Bobo says he doesn’t believe him and then accuses him of taking money from Raquel. Uli gets defensive. “So what? You yourself would have done the same!” Bobo says but this is his wife they’re talking about. Uli wants him to calm down. It’s over and she doesn’t really interest him. Anyway, he’s just passing time till his girlfriend returns from Spain. She’s worth a fortune and he’s going to marry her.

Roberto tells him to stop making things up. Uli insists he’s not making things up. He has a girl from his past that he plans to move on. He says she’s always been in love with him. She's half nuts, but he knows how to keep her under control. (I couldn’t catch the next sentence. It was all Chipmunk.) Uli says he’ll never believe it, but it just happens to be Mary Jo’s twin sister. Bobo sucks in his breath as Uli gives him a brief family history of the Samaniego’s. “The girls mother didn’t die. She met a wealthy man and ran off with him. After he died she hitched up with another man. It turns out, incredibly, that Mary Jo and Sandra are identical! As alike as two drops of water.” Bobo’s eyes are like saucers. “Does Mary Jo know about her?” Uli say no and nobody else does either. “Only you!” He told him because he loves him and because he wants them to stay friends.

Back at the manse, Nando is finishing up in the study covering the details of the (yawn) archeological project for Vicki, MJ, and Alex. MJ is thrilled to be able to help with it. Zeke interrupts to tell Vicki she has a call from Dr. Hernan. She gets up and shares an uncomfortable stare with the other puppy-dog in her life before taking the call out in the living room. Alex looks a little sheepish.

Vicki tells Hernan about the trip to the lab with Raquel. He asks her out for dinner and says it might help distract her a bit. (Dunno. A date with this guy would be more like a sure cure for insomnia than for a case of the blues, or is that just me?) She declines politely by saying it’s not the best time to be seen out with a man. He says it would have exactly the opposite effect and their being together would show she has support. He insists and she finally gives in.

Back inside the study, Vicki’s two-legged puppy-dog is pacing around. Alex sighs and says there’s no reason to pretend now since MJ knows about Fernando’s feelings for his mother. Fernando asks MJ what she thinks about it. Mary Jo gives it her blessing and says age doesn’t matter. It’s what inside that counts, yada, yada, yada….. We get the same chitchat about their being able to live in an exotic clime somewhere together. (Damn, that’s so tacky! Tell the truth, MJ. If their May-September romance were such a happening thing, escaping to never-never-land wouldn’t always have to be a part of this discussion, now would it?) Alex fawns over Mary Jo and her lovely view of life. (Time for a Red Bull.) She smiles and tells Fernando that love makes us all invincible. (Hubby gets disgusted and says make it two.) MJ and Alex continue to smooch.

On the other side of town we find Chucho telling Pedro that he can’t believe that Paula would act that way after they spent all their time fixing up and painting the place. (Dunno. Maybe it’s the color scheme, Chuch.) Pedro says Pau does have her good points. He figures the problem is that she just got used to living the good life and now he can’t give it to her. Pedro says then that he’s worried that she hasn’t come out of her room since she got there. Chucho says well, maybe they’re just worrying about nothing and she’s simply taking a nap. Pedro goes into check on her. She’s in bed, pouting and playing possum. He gives her a kiss and walks back out. Pedro is having a crisis of conscience. He feels rotten that the place isn’t up to her new standards, but Chucho tells him to give her time and eventually, when she gets over the tantrum, she’ll get used to the place. Pedro can only hope. Chucho cheers him up by reminding him that they start their new business the next morning. FF>>

Later that afternoon, Crotchya goes back to Bruno’s hotel and hands him over the file he wanted. Bruno kisses her and then dismisses her. He’s got to read through it right away because he’s meeting with the lawyers in a little bit. She’ll have to wait for her “reward” till after.

Outside the manse, Fernando is getting ready to leave and telling Vicki good-bye. He professes his love. She tells him it’s not possible for them. He says it is unless she doesn’t want it to be. Either way, he will always be waiting for her. Felipa walks out and sees him kiss her good-bye. (Totally cringeworthy.) Vicki turns around and asks her not to say a word. Felipa says she won’t, but it hurts her to see her so sad. They share a hug. FF>>FF>>

That night, Alex and Mary Jo share a peaceful sleep. It’s just as well, since the next morning all hell is about to break loose.

Fernando rushes into Alex’s office with the morning’s paper. “Have you seen the news?” Alex reads the headline: “Something very odd is going on in the Lombardo Family. It would seem that the well-known construction magnates have doubts about their background as Raquel and Bruno Alebeniz, as well as Alex Lombardo, were seen entering a genetics laboratory where DNA tests are done. This would suggest that one of them is going to surprise us with a name change.”

Alex throws the newspaper down and wonders how the Hell they found out. “Who could have gotten access to that information??” Cue the cricket chirps. Nando has no idea. He makes a quick call to Lic. Quiñones and asks him if he read the morning paper. The lawyer says yeah, and he’s just as puzzled as Alex about it. Obviously, this is a serious breach and says the judge had chosen that lab precisely to avoid this sort of thing. Alex tells him to get to the bottom of it and fast, then hangs up. He tells Nando that the lawyer doesn’t think it was either the judge or the lab that gave out the information. Who else? They come to the same conclusion simultaneously: Bruno, of course.

Vicky and Mary Jo are having another polite chat when Zeke comes in with the phone saying Bruno’s on the line asking to speak to Mary Jo. She panics and refuses to take the call, but Vicki says go ahead. She wants to listen on the extension. Mary Jo takes the phone and waits till Vicki secretly picks up in the other room. Bruno asks Mary Jo if she’s seen the newspapers. She says she hasn’t and asks why. He tells her that there’s a bit in the gossip column about him, Alex and Raqui going in for DNA tests. “Why are you so mean, Bruno?” “—Because you have to pay for everything you’ve all done to me. –Did the bastard ask you for a divorce yet?” “The divorce? Why?” “—When I gave you back your life by giving you my blood I asked Alex for two things in exchange: his giving up the presidency and divorcing you.” MJ and Mama are both saucer-eyes impactada.

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Gancho December 4th. Hiding behind Masks and Sunglasses

Not every episode of Gancho is filled with humor. Tonight we had a lot of drama, and very little lightness until the last 15 minutes. Ultimately, though, it was very satisfying, and left our mouths watering for more. Here’s what happened.

The episode begins with a bit of urgency. Jerry’s upset that Jackie seems to have made a date with Salvador. He wants to plead his case, to win back his true love. Jackie, however, wants just one thing. To get to the tocador (bathroom, literally dressing room, must be a euphemism) on time. She shocks Jerry by telling him Connie’s no longer divorcing Mau, Jackie and Connie have an “arrangement”, and Jerry of the maxed out tarjetas de credito is out of luck. She lurches away to complete her business.

In a second replay from last night, Xime has come to the gym to find Beto. She’s just about bursting with the secret that Coni is going to tell Mau that the baby she’s carrying is Mau’s (although it’s really Beto’s). She’s intercepted by Moni, and after letting it slip that she’s got a secret, one that even Mau doesn’t know, Moni gets tough with Xime, backs her against the punching bag, and threatens physical violence. There’s a brief delay as Costeño greets Xime, but Moni’s determined to get Xime to spill the beans (soltar la sopa). Finally, Xime breathlessly reveals that Connie has a lover, and guess who he is? Beto, replies Moni. You knew? Sure I did, but you have to promise not to tell Mauricio. Xime can’t believe another person is making her keep secrets. She can’t take the pressure, and wants to go to the only person who can comfort her – her husband Rolu. Well don’t tell HIM! pleads Moni, and Xime assures her she won’t.

Connie’s been waiting in Mau’s office. When he gets there, she first asks about his mouth (sore from Aldo’s punch) which he said came from hitting himself with the car door. Connie says the divorce will take 1-2 months, but in the meantime, she wants to go to St. Tropez with her Mom. And her Mom just happens to have found an apartment for sale there. She knows she wasn’t going to get Mau’s money until the divorce, but could he give her a little advance to buy the apartment? Our handsome blockhead sees no problem with this, gets out his checkbook, how much is it? Here’s the price, says Connie, and could you, ummm, make it out to my Mamá, she’s been negotiating the price. Again, no problem. (Ooooh, that Connie. I was wondering how she was going to pay off Jackie to keep quiet, and I guess we have our answer. Clever girl).

Beto has arrived at the office to “work”, but wants to talk to Connie. Connie refuses, and leaves with her Mom. Ivan’s in the office, too. He has two goals, to dig up something about Beto and Connie, and to talk to Mau about Luisa. Gabi says Mau will see him now. As Connie and Jackie leave, Gabi asks Beto to get a messenger to take some deposits to the bank. Almost before Gabi can finish her sentence, Beto volunteers to do it, grabs the checkbook, and runs to the exit.

Downstairs, Connie gives her Mom the check from Mau, and Jackie’s delighted. The Mummy’s Mum will keep mum. They need to go to the bank to deposit the check, though. Before they get the car door open, Beto bursts out of the elevator, needs to talk to Connie about the child. Jackie says to be quiet, we’re going to the bank. So is Beto, and he helps himself to a ride, as mother and daughter wave away the smell and don their fashionista sunglasses in unison.

Ivan decides to plead his case about Luisa. Luisa’s now 15, and Ivan’s only 19, that’s not so much difference, is it? He wants a chance to prove to Mau that he’s a trustworthy person. He’s one of the best students in his class (he uses the word generación, which is a false friend here, of course he’s not saying he’s one of the best students of his generation!). He’s also working in a fast food restaurant, and paying his own rent. Mau decides to give him a chance, if he’ll work at Grupo Sermeño. He can start at the bottom, as a messenger, and if he can prove he’s a good, reliable worker, they’ll revisit the subject of his going out with Luisa after a while. Ivan gratefully agrees, promising not to disappoint (defrauder, another false amigo) Mau.

Everyone’s coming to the office today. Now, it’s Aldo’s turn. Gabi greets him warmly. Gabi stops Paula to get Aldo something to drink. Paula was cleaning the storeroom, it was like a pigsty (chiquero). Aldo isn’t really thirsty, though. Ivan comes out, ask Gabi about Beto. Just left. And Constanza? She left, too. They left one behind the other. Ahah, thinks Ivan.

Now, we get a very powerful confrontation between Aldo and Mau. Mau has a little toothpick bandage on his lip, from being punched. Aldo is pretty sure Mau is La Furia Enmascarada (whom he punched earlier in the day), but he plays his cards close to the vest. This was such a beautifully acted scene, I’ve decided to give it to you verbatim.

M: How come you weren’t in school today, Aldo?
A: Who said I wasn’t there? Look (holds up backpack), I came from school.
M: Please. Don’t lie to me, answer me.
A: How did you find out I didn’t go? Tell me.
M: Because I just spoke to the directora who told me you weren’t there.
A: Oh really? That’s strange, they never call home about that, and they definitely don’t call offices, they send a notice to be signed by the parents.
M: Yes, I know. But since your conduct left much to be desired, I asked the directora to inform me personally of anything strange with you.
A: Anything “strange”?
M: Right, like your missing school without telling anyone or --
A: Or a bruise on the face like YOU have, something like that?
M: Don’t change the subject. We’re talking about you.
A: No, look. What a bump you’ve got on your face. Who were you fighting with? Who gave that to you?
M: This wound? No one, I did it to myself. I got out of the car, tripped, and hit myself.
A: How strange, you’re never distracted, you’re careful. It’s not very common for something like this to happen to you.
M: Well, you see, no one’s immune (exento) to accidents. But the important thing now is that you missed classes again, you tried to escape them.
A: Hmmmm. Let’s see. Who called you? The truth (la neta), was it really the directora?
M: That doesn’t matter. The fact is that I know, and the proof is that you’re here. Where did you go?
A: I can’t tell you.
M: Now you’re hiding things from me.
A: Do you prefer that I lie?
M: I don’t like lies or secrets, you know that very well.
A: Yeah, you say that all the time, then it turns out that ---
M: What the devil is happening to you, Aldo? Why do you do these things when you know how much I’m trying to trust in you again?
A: Hey, don’t say that, man, I promise I won’t do it again.
M: Are you going to tell me why you weren’t in school?
A: Fine. Some buddies convinced me not to go, and we left school, but it was dumb, and it won’t happen again.
M: How many times have you promised me the same thing, Aldo? I don’t want to go to the extremes of Constanza but if you don’t start to change, I’ll have no other choice but to put you in a boarding school.
A: Are you serious?
M: You don’t leave me any other option, Aldo, maybe a military school would be the best for you.
A: No, don’t do that. I assure you I’m changing. I want to do the right thing, but don’t send me away from you or my sisters, please, I don’t want to be locked up again.
M: It’s not pleasant (grato) living in those places, right? However, you didn’t take advantage of what I’ve offered. What are you missing from me? What do you need?
A: Nothing.
M: Okay. I’m going to give you another opportunity, Aldo, the last one, and I truly hope this time you don’t fail me, don’t lie one more time.
A: Thanks. But don’t tell me you don’t have secrets.
M: Maybe I do, but they’re not secrets that affect you or your sisters, or put anyone at risk.
A: Yeah, but secrets aren’t too different from lies, are they? And what about those little accidents (points to his mouth) that can happen to someone, so really, everybody lies at some point, no?
M: Where’s this coming from?
A: Remember that letter that Luisa gave you? The letter from La Monita?
M: Yes, she gave it to me when I left you this morning at school. Why do you ask?
(Also pulls the envelope from his pocket, pauses for a few seconds, then gives it to Mauricio)
A: It fell out when you got into the car, I noticed it, and was able to pick it up in time.
M: Thanks, Son. Thank goodness you found it, now go, I’ve got things to do.
(They stare at each other).
M: Something wrong?
A: No, no, nothing. Take care of that wound, put some ice on it or something.
He leaves. Mau is not really sure what just happened. And we’ve observed a wonderfully artful Aldo, probing, testing, but not overplaying. As young and impulsive as Aldo is, he’s wise beyond his years.

Jerry tells Oscar he’s really down. He’s out of money and lost Jackie. Oscar has no sympathy. Jerry adds that Jackie told him Connie’s no longer getting a divorce, what are they going to do? Oscar isn’t worried. His plan now is to get Aldo back on drugs, and Connie will lose custody. Without the kids, she’ll have less weapons against Mau, and the only way she could get anything would be to divorce Mau (and get the money, to be shared with Jerry and Oscar). Jerry praises the master again.

On Aldo’s way out, he runs into Paula, who, loose-lipped as always, tells him that Mau’s rarely in the office, never in the mornings these days. Aldo takes this in (knowing that La Furia trains in the morning), and asks Pau, when she sees Estrella, to tell her Aldo’s sorry for the mess he got her in this morning. Aldo goes into the elevator, and is followed by Oscar. He proceeds to tell Aldo how hard it is to be a teenager, he understands the pressures, and if he needs anything at all, just call Oscar on his cell. He gives him his card.

Estrella’s sweeping, thinking back, still has it bad for Aldo. She then replays the scenes with Furia, likes him, too.

In Connie’s car, Beto wants to talk to Connie, so they dispatch a disgusted Jackie to make Beto’s bank deposit along with her own. And we get ANOTHER heavy scene. Connie thanks Beto for talking her out of the abortion. Beto’s beaming. “Because the child I’m expecting isn’t yours. It’s Mauricio’s”. Beto’s beam busts.

Mau fondly reads Moni’s letter. She loves him, etc. etc., the important part is that she’ll wait for him forever, and she knows he’ll comply with what he solemnly swore. He’ll never touch La Momia. (Close that barn door!) Mau looks a bit lost and pitiful with that little toothpick bandage on his lip.

Beto’s not buying it. He knows there’s nothing between his ex soul brother and Constanzia. But Connie says she just pretended that she only had feelings for Beto, to make him happy. Of course Mauricio and she sleep together, they’re married. Beto insists, he’s the only one she felt things for, he knows. Or were all her feelings just lies? He felt her tremble, her lips moisten, her passionate kisses. Don’t hurt me, Constanzia. Roberto, I just do what’s convenient for me. I might lie. Whatever I do has a dual purpose. I’m not a woman you can trust. And you are the most naïve (ingenuo) man in the world.

Sal comes into Mau’s office, and Mau tells him to get a lawyer to do the divorce as soon as possible. Sal doesn’t get why Mau’s not jubilant, but lets it go, recommending Mau proceed with caution (con pies de plomo, literally with lead feet), because Connie could change her mind at any time.

As tears stream down Beto’s face,


Connie recommends he hitch up his pants and comply with his promise to leave her. But he can’t. The pain is killing him. Connie advises him to try to get La Monita back, or someone else. He can’t believe it’s what she really wants. It’s just not right, it’s just not right. Connie says what’s really not right is that he still has that cellphone she gave him. Give it back. He drops it in her hand, wiping tears from his face. But don’t ask me to give back all the love I have for you. You didn’t buy that for me, it’s mine. Very much mine. And that’s something you can’t take away.

Jackie rips open the door, kicks out Beto, notices Connie is crying, asks her what happened. “So ends my story with Roberto, Mamá. It’s over. For ever.” She snaps the cellphone in two, tosses the pieces in the back seat, sobs. Jackie removes her sunglasses. “I can barely believe it. You’re really in love with that jackal”. Shut up, mother, says Connie, ruefully putting her shades back on, fastening the seat belt, starting the car.

Okay, enough of this drama, Estrella’s got a(nother) new outfit! This one’s a white dress with splashes of black, red, blue, gray and orange, a high-waisted red sash and a red hem, about 4 inches above the knee. She also has an orangish pink shawl. It’s not as wild as her old look, not as chic as her Xime-inspired look, but I like it.


She knocks on Moni’s door. Moni (whom we haven’t seen in a dress for months – what’s up with that?) happily greets her, asking if she’s all done up for a date with La Furia. But no, it’s for a small role in a movie! And for the first time, it’s a speaking role! Estre peeks at the crib sheet on her wrist, and confidently declaims “Well, here are your coffees”. That’s it. She’s going to be a waitress, and that’s her line. Estrella explains her “motivation”. The waitress is an intense woman, with two children, alone. One of the kids has asthma, so Estre has really been trying to work the tiredness and sadness into her voice, listen again “Well, here are your coffees”. Moni’s not exactly knocked over by this amazing acting prowess, asks if all this background is going to be a big part of the movie. Well, not really, Estre made up the backstory, that’s her job, to bring as much as she can to the role. Well, asks Moni, how will the audience know the backstory? Why, just listen “Well, here are the coffees”. You hear the depth and great conflict in my voice?

Enter Beto, giving Estre a little more inspiration, because her waitress also happens to have a good for nothing boyfriend, and she can use Beto as inspiration for that. She leaves.

Beto’s very sad. He needs a hug, which Moni gives him. As usual, Mauricio (dressed as La Furia) just happens to be observing in the background at this precise moment.

Back at the office, the day’s almost over, and Gabi gives Paula her final instructions. Cristian arrives to pick up Paula, and gives her a big kiss. He’s right on time, that’s his rule number one. Well, Paula has a rule, too, give her novio a “fine” of ten kisses for each one he gives her. She starts, as Gabi looks on jealously.

Just as Beto tells Moni he has a broken heart, she notices Furia, and waves him over. Why’s that joker here? asks Beto. Does he want another whipping? No, says Moni, he probably just came to find Estrella. Turning to Furia, she tells him Estre’s not here, she has a small role. But why not come inside for a coffee? Furia and Beto both follow her in.

Gabi tells the lovebirds they forgot about one of the office rules. No making out in front of those in their forties (cuarentena). So where are you guys goin’? To the movies. Gabi jokes that the last movie she saw was “El Rincón de las Virgenes” (Nest of Virgins, a 1972 film), and the virgins are now all grandmas! So what kind of movie are you seeing? Paula wants to see a horror movie, with vampires! Okay, I’m ready, says Gabi, putting pocketbook over shoulder. Well, go ask Salvador, says Paula, Cris and I like to curl up (acurrucarse) in the scary scenes, sorry, we like to be alone. Gabi tells her Sal and she are having a time out, he needs his space. She’s a little depressed, it’s not easy, she doesn’t like being home alone. Gallant Cris (to the displeasure of Pau) suggests Gabi come along, and Gabi lights up, thanks Paula, exclaiming that between three, the scare is less, and why not get wine and cheese later. I’m all set, she adds, as Paula rolls her eyes at Cris, warning Gabi not to grab (sin manotazos) in the scary scenes. Gabi’s chirping away, full of happy energy, as they get into the elevator.

Beto and Furia are both sipping coffee as Moni explains a little about Estre’s role. Beto gets all macho, he’s still mad at Furia, but Moni thinks they’re all on the same team, they’re like a family, Don Cesar’s fighters. Furia agrees, we’re in the same boat. Beto thinks it’s a trick, and recalls that Furia cheated in their fight. No, corrects Moni, it was a clean fight. Furia stands up, says it really was a clean fight, and you know how sometimes in wrestling you win, sometimes you lose, but actually, Beto, you’re a super genius fighter, a phenom (sos un fenómino, which is hilarious to hear Mau use the “voseo” form of familiar address used in Argentina, where sos=eres http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voseo). Beto is stopped in his tracks. Really? He smiles from ear to ear.

Furia continues. You have an impressive charm, and the people adore you. And the way you do that slam, wow! You’re a phenom. Beto agrees, and what about my war cry (grito de guerra), Hooooahhh! as he throws out his claws for emphasis.

Furia keeps pouring on the syrup – what a great yell, few fighters have the gift of being known for just one simple war cry, and you’ve got it. Beto offers to help Furia get his own war cry, even though he does talk as if he’s got gum in his mouth (!). And I gotta admit, you’ve got some great moves, sometimes you remind me of Tarzan, adds Beto. You know what, why don’t we become a tag team? Moni likes the idea. Man, you’re really cool (chido), says Beto. No, you’re more chido, responds Furia. No, you’re cooler. No, you are. (Beto’s saying tú más, and Mau’s saying no, “vos”, the voseo form of tú). Furia again says Beto’s a phenom, and Beto just has to agree. They decide to be pals (carnales), and seal it with a firm handshake.

At Xime/Rolu/Jerry’s house, they’re having a quiet dinner, when a red-eyed Xime breaks the silence. “I’m not telling you anything!” What’s up? inquires Rolu. Well, Xime is guarding a terrible secret, and she’s deathly afraid of letting it out. All of a sudden, Jerry awakes from his stupor. What’s the big secret, we’re all here to support you, tell us. She just can’t. Rolu says of course you can, and if you like, you can say it in 3 things. This is really tempting to Xime. She holds up her pinky for number one, but she just can't. Jerry tries to reassure her, we promise we won’t tell a soul, but Xime doesn’t give in, gets up, rushes out, saying she’s going to resolve this problem on her own, leaving Jerry and Rolu scratching their chins.

Beto goes off to tell Don Cesar, leaving Moni and Furia together, as the romantic music starts to swell up. Moni tells Furia that Beto’s like a rowdy kid, but underneath, he’s a gem, he’s like a brother to me. Furia wonders if Moni has anyone else special in her life. Yes, she does. She’s in love with someone, so much that sometimes she thinks her heart will explode. Well, that guy must be the luckiest man in the world, says Furia. He stares at her lovingly, longingly,


and she stares back, questioning.

We’re left to wonder and wait, as that’s the end of tonight’s drama.

But Monday looks like tons of fun, with Connie spilling her coffee and all sorts of revelations. Or not. But we’ll have Stephe to sub for Carlos, right, so it should be fenominal!

Vocabulario:

El tocador – euphemism for the bathroom, literally the dressing room
Soltar la sopa – to spill the beans, let out the secret, literally, to release the soup
Generación – can mean generation, but Ivan used it to mean his class, saying he was one of the mejores alumnos de su generación, one of the best students in his class
Chiquero – a pigsty
Exento – exempt, immune
Grato – pleasant
Con pies de plomo – with caution, literally, with lead feet
Acurrucarse – to curl up, what Paula wanted to do with Cristian when the movie got scary

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Friday, December 04, 2009

En Nombre del Amor, December 4, 2009

For discussion of the Friday episode, Dec. 4.

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