Caray, Caray!

The note on the fridge version:

• Tia lies, cries and pries.
• Mercedes spreads the lies.
• Vainy plans a wedding.
• Rohell plans...we just don't know what exactly.
• Miguel gets a beat down.
• Ana Pau says no.
• The family gets evicted.

The line by line screed (sort of)
Refrito:
Rehash of Miguel's legal problems...that will cost about 2 million pesos and if he's guilty 8 years in prison. Miguel meets the welcome committee.

Doc calls Mercedes. Gustavo repeats Mercedes’ name ad nauseum. Mercedes screeches into the phone.

Fresh helping o' schlock:
Cupcake returns home and asks Tia if anyone called. Tia tells her if she’s waiting for her Novio el Desaparecido she can forget it. Cupcake just knows Gus will turn up. Tia thinks she should take the offer from Rohell. Cupcake has to find out if Gus is ok. She reaches for the phone but Tia asks her to fetch some water and her meds. While Cupcake is gone Tia cuts the phone cord. LMAO. Desperate Tia is desperate. When Cupcake returns there is no dial tone. Tia says it must have been cut off since Bro didn’t pay the bill.

The cows are coming home. Maria, M-grito, Conned and Effer mourn La Paloma. Effer throws the blame squarely on the vet’s lap while M-grito argues it was Effer’s fault. It’s decided that they need to tell Ro-hell.

Sin takes note of Ro-hell’s happy face. She asks if it’s because of the wedding with Vainy. Ro-hell says things are turning out the way he wanted….whatever that means. Maria calls with the bad news about La Paloma. She hands the phone over to Effer so he can explain. Colic, vet’s fault since he didn’t show up all night. Rohell yells about checking animals every day and calling the vet ASAP. Sin cries.

Vainy and Esteban sign the divorce papers. He asks her one last time if she’s sure. She is. She’s ready to finish this after so many years of being unhappy. Esteban wonders if she ever loved him. you can't go around hurting people.First she hurt Rohell, now him. You can't do that and not pay for it.  He hopes she doesn’t regret this. He dramatically removes his ring.

Conned comforts Effer about the horse. Conned says it’s a pity La Patrona is rica rica pero no tiene words I can’t catch. The English was "rich rich, but no one to do her (racy!) At least Conned has Effer and she’s the only one he loves. Right? Riiiiiight.

Sin weeps. Ro-hell says it’s just an animal. They’ll buy another. Sin says animals aren’t just things. Ro-hell gave Paloma to her. He says she needs to suck it up. She says he wasn’t always so tough. That was before his life went to mierda and Vainy left him. That Ro-hell is done and he ain’t coming back. Bruno calls with a Miguel report. Rohell wants it clear to Ana Pau's family that Rohell is the one helping them out. Sin wants to know why Rohell is helping Cupcake so much and he says it’s none of her business.

Mercedes says goodbye to her mom via phone. She asks mom not to tell dad. It would upset him. Ernesto shows up and says he’ll take her. She doesn’t want trouble with his wife. The phone rings and Mercedes thinks it might be the doctor calling again...

...At the same time, Cupcake is hanging up the public phone and whining about Gus’s line being busy. Mercedes isn’t much good for info either since she'd would just hang up. Dany asks if there is some friend or acquaintance of Gus that Cupcake could call to see if Gus has been heard from. Cupcake conveniently remembers Esteban….

…who is currently calling Mercedes. He’s glad Gus has been located and hopes he recovers quickly. She asks about him and why he sounds so sad. He explains about signing the divorce papers. He’ll tell her about it when she returns. Ernesto haz a jealous. Dude. You’re married. Mercedes thinks she should just go alone. Ernie apologizes and they leave together.

Vainy wants to toast to her divorce. Her parents don’t. They really don't approve of the divorce. Ro-hell and Sin arrive. Interminable greetings. Vainy says “A toast because today I signed the divorce from a man I never loved and now I am affianced to a man I’ve always loved.” Pass the antacid please.

David is glad Gus has appeared. Esteban has come to discuss the problem with the Boca del Cielo project. Bidnez blabbity. David BS lines. Esteban is keeping his eyes on David and will shut him down if there is anything wrong. There’s a big difference between plans and what actually gets built!

Missed a bit from Elsa la Vaca. The contract comes up. Ro-hell would like to renegotiate and Federico says no. Ro-hell is a little taken aback since no one says no to Ro-hell. Federico explains he doesn’t mix bidnez with. Elsa thinks the contract is just what they needed. And that’s precisely why Fede doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want it to look like things were planned just to benefit the company. Ro-hell just sees it as an opportunity for both. Fede changes the subject to the wedding. Fede thinks it’s a bit rushed. Ro-hell doesn’t. Sin congratulates them. (Fede is not at all convinced.)

Ro-hell must be paying ‘cause Tia ordered a big pan dulce. Tia is still negotiating her contract. She’s sure Cupcake will capitulate…given enough incentive. Rohell figures out that really it’s Tia who wants more incentive. Tia wants it in writing(?) but, Tia says with a little more money Ana Pau would marry Ro-hell and no one else.

Ana Pau pays a visit to Esteban. He is taken aback by her similarity to Vainy. Esteban fills in Ana Pau. There is great rejoicing. Ana Pau asks where Gus is. Facial expressions indicate Esteban doesn’t know or won’t tell.

Mercedes at Gus’ bedside. No puede ser. Sis wants him transferred to another hospital. Ernie lines. Doc lines. Gus lines. Mercedes lines.

Ana learns of Gus’ beatdown. WTH? is that a fudgesicle in Esteban’s hand? Esteban lines, Ana lines, Dany lines. The girls leave. Ana Pau has to call Mercedes. She’ll use a public phone.

Tia is going to take care of everything. She asks for Rohell’s cell number. He agrees if she understands not to call him for everything. Then she asks for a cell phone for herself. ¿Cómo se dice chutzpah en español? Ro-hell agrees. Tia promises Ana Pau will marry him. Tia prefers him after all. Rohell wants to know what that means. Is someone else interested in Ana Pau? Tia assures him that isn’t the case. She just doesn’t want Ana setting her sights on someone who isn’t worth it.

Gus wants to know if Ana has asked about him. Sis tells him ever since the graduation he never showed up for. Gus is ready to get out and talk to Ana to assure her he’s ok. Poor thing must be worried sick. Mercedes doesn’t think so, but she doesn’t hide it well.

Bruno and Rohell discuss the draft of the contract with Fede (The enigmatic Hugo stoically and silently looks on.) Rohell laughs at Bruno’s “future father in law" line. Bruno wonders if either Rohell or Vainy are changing their minds. Rohell says one never knows what’s going to happen. Bruno knows Rohell doesn’t do anything unless he knows he’s going to win. Bruno tries to talk to Rohell about the nurse. Rohell cuts him off and leaves.

Gus wants to know why Merc is so quiet. Mercedes just tells him to rest.

Cupcake is floating on air. She is so happy and at peace. Tia wants to know how that can be. They don’t have a cent and Ana is not working AND Migui is in jail. But in all that darkness, Ana Pau found some light (and glitter and unicorns and fairies.) Gus has shown up! He’s alive! Tia is impactada.

Ernie is concerned about Gus's condition. Possible renal failure. Gus still insists on talking to Ana. Stubborn little guy, isn’t he? Mercedes spills the Brunobeso beans. Gus is Cyclops impactado.

Ana Pau tells Tia about the assault. Tia digs for info. Is he conscious? Does he know what happened? Cupcake doesn’t know, but he’s coming back and she’ll be able to hug him (is there any antacid left?) Tia flips. You care about this so and so (fulano) more than your brother?! The only thing Ana cares about it Gus!! What about all the family probs?! Ana Pau should be worried about is getting bro out of jail! Tia wants to know: is Cupcake going to accept Rohell’s proposal or not?

Mercedes struggles to calm Gus down. Gus asks the same thing I was wondering: how could Mercedes be so cruel. Srsly, Sis…he’s in bad shape and you want to report his girlfriend’s engaño? More “no puede ser”s Mercedes opens the can of mentira beans that Tia and Bruno gave her and spills them.

Vainy and Sin shop for a wedding dresse. Sin reminds her they’ve gone through this before. Vainy swears this time it will be different. Blabbity blah. Sin just knows that when she really falls in love, nothing will stop her. Oh, btw she really doesn’t feel that hubba hubba passion with David.

Gus calls Cupcake…too bad the cord is cut. Mercedes comes in and tells him to forget about Ana and focus on getting better and seeing dad. Gus wants to know what’s up with dad? Ernie brings something to eat and a shirt. Some lines about hospital transfer and Mercedes and Gus’ delicate condition?

Tia and Bruno worry about getting caught. Cupcake hasn’t talked to Gus yet, but they have to be ready. Gus might win!

Cupcake turns down Rohell. She can't marry if there is no love. He can’t believe she’d choose servitude (servidumbre) instead of being the dueña, but whatevs. Get ready, chica we’re leaving on Saturday. Ana wants to say goodbye to bro. Rohell says sure and make it good. Life in prison is hard for those with no money to buy protection. *digdigguiltguilt*

Migui is threatened by prison Cyclops. The snot is promptly beat out of Migui.

Tia is now making deals with baldy. She wants to help him get even (desquitarse de mi sobrina)? In the words of 5ft: TACKY. She makes a production of answering her new celular and letting baldy know it’s Don Rohell. Obviously it’s bad news.

Cupcake calls Mercedes. Mercedes hangs up on her. Mercedes and Ernie share a moment.

Cupcake arrives home. Tia is pissed. A little backpedaling (since in theory Tia wasn’t supposed to know yet.) Cupcake doesn’t lerve him! She’ll work for the dude ‘til the debt is paid. Tia asks if she’s talked to Gus. Can he at least help? Ana says she’s not a rogona (does an English translation exist? Basically, "I’m not gonna use my assests to take advantage.")Tia she should have taken the Rohell marriage deal. Ana will work for him, that's it. Cupcake will leave a letter for Gus. She’s going to go say goodbye to Migui. Sob story from Tia about no money and lights, gas etc being shut off.

Rohell tells Bruno to offer the family of the deceased a settlement (two million pesos.)

Cupcake visits Miguel. Gus news. Miguel tells her to marry Gus. Be with the guy she loves. She calls him out since he broke up with Dany and she’s suffering because of him. Miguel’s hand is infected. It even smells bad. Not funny, but really? She sniffed it? I have to laugh. Cupcake is an idiot and makes a scene. Miguel is like “ixnay on the ellingyay. Ugthays!" She convinces Miguel to get the hand looked at.

Sin and Effer talk about La Paloma. She’s pissed and wants to see the vet’s report. He talks dirty.

Cupcake whines about how scared Miguel is. Bruno is going to help and make awesome WTF? faces when Tia pats him on the shoulder. Bruno leaves. Tia talks up Bruno and Rohell. Recapper’s assessment: Bruno = rock. Rohell = hard place. Ana is somewhere in between. Tia wants to know if Ana has talked to Gus yet. Ana is sure if Gus were there he would help.

David asks Rohell if he wants him to speed up the deal with Miguel. Sin arrives. Rohell leaves. David wants to take Sin shopping for the bestest dress. David hints about getting married.

Tia can’t pay the rent. Baldy shows up and says he sold the house….to a nice lady who wants them out in two days!

Labels: no-podia

I take over recapping just as Pancho's friend in his undershirt pulls out the defibrillators he probably bought at Harbor Freight and almost gives Mystery Mascara Mama a big shock - but decides she hasn't had a heart attack. The Mystery Mama turns out to be the famous singer Alejandra Guzman who flaps her wings so annoyingly at the start of every episode.

• Ana asks Freddy if he wants the same from her that he wanted from Elena - and if not, what? He claims he doesn't want to go to bed with her. "Why? Because I'm not attractive, not at your level? ..." "What do you want me to say?" "Why do you want to be my boyfriend?" He compliments her and there's more kissing.
  
• Chela, still livid that Enzzo dares to twirl the dog around her (or something like that - actually he offered chocolate), yells when she picks up the phone, but it's Pancho - he has a big problem!
  
  Chela meets him at the undershirt doctor's place. The undershirt doctor thinks Guzman just hyperventilated and needs to breathe into a paper bag (my mom had panic attacks and that's what she did).
  
  Chela and Pancho decide to take care of her at home until she's better. Suddenly the crazed singer wakes up yelling at the universe, why can't she have what she wants - which is to be a famous singer but also have a normal life. She is quite angry and nutty. Luckily she faints again.
  
  Pancho slept on the couch. Sometime in the night all the mascara got sucked off Guzman's face. She wakes up confused...
  
  ... The breakfasting Lopez family is surprised to hear someone yelling about kidnapping. Guzman threatens Pancho with a drinking glass and says she's a warrior. And doesn't want breakfast. Chela sweetly talks to her like she's a scared baby. Guzman remembers being terrified by the press after her concert and running...
  
• Moni says she saw her mother, for sure! They looked in each others' eyes. Pepe can't believe the mom would then simply disappear.
  
  Moni is surprised that Freddy apologized. Pepe figures he did it so he could keep being the Avon driver.
  
  Then Pepe asks Moni if she'd like to live with him. She likes the idea, but where? How about a little apartment? She loves the idea. She's worried about her dad killing her when she tells him.
  
• The two guys in berets are wearing striped pajamas so you know they're in jail. They call Vince and sigh about how great it was to meet Candy. He says they owe him his money back.
  
• Guzman's keepers are despairing, they too think she's been kidnapped. She doesn't want Chela and Pancho to tell anybody where she is. Pancho calls Rebe: he doesn't go to work, but there is a meeting he has to go to. Why doesn't he tell her what's going on?
  
• Back to the Lopez household, where everyone wonders who's hidden in the back room. Guzman whines about her life, she never sees her family, she wants to disappear, she's missed all the birthdays and homework and graduations, she's tired of hotels.
  
  Chela tries to cheer her up. Pancho says he'll call her mother Sylvia, but she doesn't want her mom to see her this way. She decides she wants to stay with them a while.
  
• Why did Abejita's white puppies turn brown? Melita tells Temo she wants to be like golfer Lorena Ochoa, who's coming to Avon for the important meeting. Temo talks soccer.
  
• Enzzo tells Arnoldo he likes a woman! But he can't tell Vince because he's made so much fun of him about Candy. "She's very attractive, but of 'another level.' "
  
• Chela and Pancho chat with Guzman about family. She was alone a lot when she was little because her mother was famous too, I guess. She whines more about what she never got. She wants to use "tu" with them, and to hide for a few days and live normally, she'll pretend to be her own sister (except for the tattoos).
  
  Pancho says he doesn't want to lie to his kids, but it's too late anyway, they were all eavesdropping. He tells them to tell nobody they're harboring a superstar. They give her one of their famous bear hugs.
  
  Chela gossips with Guzman, who upon figuring out that Chela's in love with her brother-in-law who's in love with somebody else, wisely suggests: "Why not find some other guy? They're makin' them thangs every day." [Quote from the Sweet Potato Queens.]
  
• Big meeting. Vince is furious to see Sandrucha there; she tells him she has a new position courtesy of the Pres. Temo shows up to get an autograph from the golfer. The golfer's manager happens to have one and gives it to Temo, whom he finds cuter than I do.
  
  Vince is indignante, even more so when he realizes Temo wants the photo for Meli! A big fight almost breaks out in front of the perplexed golfer-manager, who then invites Temo to the dinner (and Temo invites Meli).
  
• Ana and Lupe, in a gratuitous plunging-bathing-suit scene, see on TV that there is a big fuss being made about Guzman's supposed kidnapping. Guzman rolls her eyes when they tell her.

Tomorrow: a lot of policemen with guns come to rescue Guzman from Pancho.

Labels: familia

I'm glad I got to see chato get sprayed with the hose in the recap... he brought new meaning to the term tirar perros, as the lines he uses on the maids are some real dogs.

Melly and Temo plan to steal Abeja's puppies to spare them from "sacrifice" (maybe Pina is a closet satanist).

At the scene of the inept carjackers, Pancho yells at his "hija," la burra, to get out of there (the carjackers have a van dangling above her). Negotiations with the crooks aren't going so well, but then Candy shows up. She brings her massive resources into play to distract and enchant the crooks into dropping the guns. Meanwhile Pancho gets in the truck and prepares to make his exit. The bumbling fools are so enchanted by their "aztec princess" that they don't realize they didn't get the money till Lopez & co. make their exit and the cops show up.

Abeja's puppies appear to be at least the size of their parents. Temo hides them under the table while Melly faces off with Pina (Pina and Melly are my favorite pair on the show). Things are getting tense when a dog barks, and Pina is about to look under the table when Ado limps in, sobbing. As if only noticing now, Pina remarks that this is a house of locos.

Chela, in a hot dress and heels, has trouble setting aside the apron. She tells herself that the habit doesn't make the nun, and no ill will come of this. Candi bursts in, sees the flowers, and snatches the notes. She explodes with glee when she finds that she was right about Transeti! They can't help but discuss his muscles, and Candi tries to insert the idea that she can seduce.

Elena has decided to be a villain with no motivation other than self-pity. She's also not a very effective villain.

Pancho, looking forwards to some "alone time" with Rebe, has another moment of consultation with Laurita's photo. He confesses that he's nervous about what he's about to do. He thanks her for a second chance at love. The candle flares, which he takes as a sign of permission.

Ana, grossly, thanks Arnold for the kissing lessons. Gushes about Freddy. After she leaves, he reveals that he's IN LOVE WITH HER EEWWWW.

Pancho shows up at Rebe's in a suit, with roses and a mushy note. She says he smells delicious. He pulls out a cd and it's the theme song! Anyway, they have a fancy meal (where'd the waiter come from?).

Melly has rescued the pups from cruella. They're at Pancho's and Ana is about to leave for exfoliation when Freddy shows up.

Moni is hanging out on the street at night, discussing how weird shit has become, when an overdressed, over-made-up lady shows up and, bizarrely, immediately recognizes her as "mija." Craaazy alert. She could just as easily be some random crazy, but Moni "has a feeling." The lady suddenly disappears, and the friend begins to doubt MONI'S sanity.

Pancho and Rebe are just getting down to business when the doorbell rings. Pancho: "don't tell me you ordered pizza..." It's Arnold, with news about Ana. Pancho walks in with his shirt half off to yell at him for interrupting. Then he has a little jealous fit at Rebe for her supposed past with Arnold.

Freddy sees the pups and threatens to tell Pina, but Melly holds her ground and blackmails him (threatening to tell Pina that her nene is dating a Lopez).

Pina answers the phone, "hola, mansion irabien," because "desaparicion" isn't there. Yuyi calls from the opera and wants to talk to melly, but she's not there.

Freddy shows up at the Lopez' to apologize to Pepe, which he actually does kind of nicely. Pepe accepts, which must have seemed like a waste of potential drama to the writers

Pina calls for Ado, who lacks her normal enthusiasm. She's lovesick for Pancho's fat chauvinist friend, and Pina is weirdly sweet, admitting that Ado is like her only friend.

But Pina says Chato is a fool with the boots nose. Why is Ado this way about such a jerk?

Uh-oh, transeti calls to "locate Chela." Chela is doing her Avon work at a friend's house. The friend says she looks radiant, with a very special light in her eyes. "but, you haven't had more signals from above?"

Pancho and Rebe are back to smooching but still won't hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. How long can they drag this out?

Chela just about jumps out of her pants with rage when Transeti shows up with chocolates. She still remembers when he tried to kick them out of their home: "don't forget that I don't forget." She won't let him give her a ride home, despite the lightning.

Enter a new and wildly random subplot: a strange, half-naked, tattooed lady (who appears to be the freaky-dancing singer of theme song) in the rain, running in terror with dripping makeup. Meanwhile, Pancho, struggling with a tire on the Burra in the rain, surely wishes he'd stayed in with his hot girlfriend. He sees this bizarre apparition get hit by a car and rushes to her aid.

Pancho takes her to a sketchy doctor buddy of his (who is quite a sight in his undershirt and stethoscope. He applies the eeg sensors, and that's all for part 1 of tonight's show.

Labels: familia

Labels: no-podia

Traditional Scottish Prayer:
From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!

Review: Flowers for Chela, Tears from Pina and Pez Plots for Pancho y Rebe, Freddy keeps the not-galan pressure on Ana at the Promontory de Preggers. Ana has gone from overall clad tomboy to simpering satin and lip gloss girl. Freddy pops the big adolescent question of novios. At the table in the mansion, the family jokes good naturedly at Temos romance, Graciela comes in all dressed up and lovely. Rebe and she pass a nearly pleasant greeting. Freddy misses the cue on hiding romance from Ana’s father a la Candela and Vin. Speaking of devils, Candela and Vicente show up as Mata Hari and Cyrano (sans feather in cap) and are photographed my Mara’s dinner companion. Back at the P.P., Ana shows Freddy her new kissing skills.

Almost new: Dona Fernanda in Berlin, Germany answers the hotel door muttering about the hotel service but Inez pushes forward to bully her way in the door. She demands the moment has come to tally up their accounts. The irritating Chato with hat glued to head, comes in for another free meal but instead earns a pitcher of the delicious tamarind spilled on him by the slender maid. After she slaps his chest in mock drying, she leaves while the other comes in carrying a large bouquet of flowers for Chela with a card from Enzo. Chela looks stormy, sulky and maybe just a tad turned on.

Back to Berlin, Inez demands, look me in the eyes and tell me exactly what happened when you had a romp in the hay with my husband (revolcaste con me marido.)

Chela goes snarly when they ask who sent the flowers. She doesn’t want the third degree. But she immediately reflects on the vision of an abs-alicious meeting in the gym with Enzo. Enzo, with thankfully no greasy hair, is simultaneously thinking of the same moment when he told Chela she looked hot even though she just blew smoke out her ears in irritation. As he is musing until he is laughing alone, Enzo has to defend his sudden sunny mood to Moni when she enters. He mutters there is someone that I just noticed but who hates me. Oh never mind.

Freddy seems genuinely starry-eyed at Ana’s new skill. She warns him not to treat her like she hears he treated Elena. He swears innocence while he is really fascinated. He’s hoping for more of those graduate kisses maybe even a thesis.

In the restaurant where no one ever seems to eat, Candi and Vin continue to hide behind their hats from Mara, Pina’s great friend. They talk about how he doesn’t care for or love PIna while Candi continues to say if you didn’t really care you would leave her and marry me, but then you wouldn’t have money. She so has his number but still can’t count. They kiss.

Fernanda wants to know why Inez came 1000’s of miles to see her. Inez demands to know what she did with her husband. Fernanda says she never had any affair but she did love him. And his love for her was because he found home so cold. Inez always knew there was more and insists that she knew he stayed with Fer in her house.

Chucha rejects Chato’s next stupid flirtation. The table jokes more about Chato’s handling of his multiple flirtations. Chela looks sad until Pancho asks her what is wrong. In a pout she leaves the table.

Fernanda tells Inez that her husband left her house because she rejected him and she told him not to come back. Inez repeats that she now controls 35% of Avon but will soon have it all. Inez rejects Fer’s protestations of innocence and raises her cane to revenge her husbands death. Fernanda backing away from the crazed little crone clutches her chest in fear and asks Inez what she intends. Inez, seems intent on pounding the cookies out of Fer with the cane but instead suddenly clutches her own chest and falls backward into a faint but is continuing to breath heavily. Mortal combat between ladies so old and so frail is a high risk sport, kind of like sex would be, lots of heat and smoke but not much fire!


Pina whines in her kitchen in her elegant dressing gown and bright blue boa that she has lost her fight to keep Vin. Adoración thinks she is going to name Candi, but Pina says the lover of her husband is …drumroll…SANDRA.

Mara and her companion come over to the table to discover who the crazed couple is. Vin stays talking behind his hat and Mara finally thinks they are actors. Candi bobs her curls in a hopeful yes. Mara’s instamatic popping friend just wants to kiss Candi’s hand but is batted away by Vin’s hat so he apparently doesn’t recognize him but remember he does have those photos.

Pina asks Adoración if she can imagine Vin with Sandra and Ador makes a creeped out face, she would rather not imagine it.

Rebe and Pancho make out when still so snotty Ana comes in looking dreamy and faintly rumpled in her satin dress. She makes a perfunctory greeting to Rebe so Pancho is ready to have another talk about her rudeness when Rebe points out that Ana’s behavior is because she is in “lurve.” Pancho and Rebe make out more.

Off in her room fondling her gifted flowers, Chela is thinking for a change not about Pancho but about Rancetti. Though she still feigns disgust.

Next morning at Avon, Sandra scolds Vin . He is trying to fire her.

Alex shows up at the tenement to try to talk with Elena’s brother Tomas but Elena is awful with him bitterly mocking him for being a rich boy (and not her rich boy, me thinks.) Alex kisses Lupita and says he doesn’t now why Elena is in such a snit.

In the office, Sandra is trying to act as though her revelations to Pina were of no consequence but Vicente gets out that Pina has made her forgiveness of Vins sin with her contingent on his firing Sandra. Sandra cries she has the mortgage and her retired father and others dependent on her in the house. Vin stays cold and unbending so Sandra leaves his office in tears. Candi comes in and finds Sandra packing. She immediately seizes on this situation being so unfair (and her fault.) Then she scolds Vicente who has had no luck at all today with the women in his life.

At the race track. Freddy comes in his helmut and ace driver costume. He reluctantly shakes Pepe’s hand. Freddy takes off with meaningful looks at the greaser mechanic. Moni assures Pepe that the kiss from Fraudster meant nothing. She is entirely his. Pepe seems mostly sure of himself and of her. Everyone is worried about the test and the expensive machine Freddy is driving. Ana swoons about her handsome new novio. In the next round or so, the steering wheel comes loose and Fraudie, losing control over this magnificent machine, heads toward the barriers of cement with real fear in his eyes. What did this naco do or let the greasy one do? Hold on for some ads.

We’re back, Freddy somehow avoids the barrier, clips some cones, threatens the fans in the stands then comes to a slipping stop in the grass. Vin rushes over to hug his saved son. Pepe is immediately sure something was done to the car. Freddy blames Pepe then is followed by his father blaming Pepe. Pancho lines up behind Pepe but Ana clutches Freddy’s sleave as she lines up behind him. Freddy and Vin take off in a huff and Tomás wants to inspect the car right away but Pancho says we need to have this inspected officially, something is fishy here (hay un gato encerrado.) Ana sticks with her father but doesn’t look too loyal. Enzo has half way changed his tune. At least he asks Pepe what could have happened to the steering. Pepe assures him it was totally important for his work to test well.

Lupita and Alex have seen the whole thing streamed on the computer then Lup gets a call from Pepe while Alex has a flashback of Freddy telling him that his mechanic (Greaseman) was going to help him finish off Pepe Lopez once and for all. Back with Lupita who is being her charming self with a table full of small children, he has dreamy unclear thoughts. When she returns she says how much she loves children and doesn’t he too? He then reveals that his childhood was largely abandoned by parents who travelled all the time, for whom work was the most important thing and their social life, theater and all meant more than their children. He has abandonment issues (did they die too, I missed that line). So he is not sure about having children. Lupita kisses him with extra tenderness through his bitter tears.

Candi and Pancho leave the race field. She tells Pancho that Sandra told Pina that she and Vin were lovers.

Alex realizes that having children with Lupita would please her so smartly asks her how many she wants to have. She grins warmly, saying five or six. They kiss on it.

Candi continues that she told PIna aobut Sandrucha and Vins so pPina has made Vinc fire Sandra. Pancho says Sandra is not going to go without work most of all for your falult.

Chela goes to school (is it an Avon sales class or real adult education?), dresses well and begins to look like a woman with a brain. Or that is my hope for this silent scene.

The receptionist down stairs (that used to flirt with Pepe) is sitting at Vin’s secretarial desk. And Pina arrives being pleased to see the desk unSandra-ed. Pina then pushes into Vin’s office to say, if Candi knew you had an affair with Sandra and it was of only one night like you claim, how could Candi know of it? It must have been a full blown affair, she concludes. She can’t believe that the man she loves most in all the world would betray her with a cheap affair with his secretary.

Freddy tells the Greaseman (sorry I can’t remember his name and don’t care enough to look it up, he ticks me off) that he was having such a good time driving that he forgot for a minute that they had loosened the steering wheel. He is enraptured with the great race car but is easily distracted with the tall ad truck going by with Ana ‘s face plastered truck high with her Avon debut. That’s MY NOVIA he tells Greaseman. Really? Yeah! he is suddenly very proud of his conquest.

Pancho asks Sandra why she would have an affair with a married man. She is n’t sure But he kindly reassures her that she will not be left on the street. From now on she will work for Rebeca and will be promoted How does head of (sorry didn’t get the dept.)? She is ecstatic. She leaves while Rebe and Pancho smile at each other.

Chela saunters by with snotty nose upturned to Enzo and asks how did he have the nerve to send her flowers when she hates him. He says suavely says, your eyes say something else. She hangs on to her hate a little longer, but watches him closely.

At the race track the official mechanical inspector says something was definitely loosened in this car. He has videos camaras to see who could have approached the car. Pepe, Moni and Tomas are still worried about the car and finding out who altered it.

Freddy calls Ana to say he saw her Avon ad all over town. She is pleased and he swoons off of the phone all caught by the “video memory” girl called cousin Melli. Is your novia named Ana? She asks when he gets off the phone. He tells her not to be nosy (metiche) but Melli is easily smarter than Fred and will hold this knowledge for her further use when needed.

Rebe and Pancho pledge to be completely in each other hands and all night long. They can’t wait until they can be together all the time. They do everything but sleep in the same bed.

Enzo wants to kow how old Vin feels when he is with Candi? 11 or 11 and a half at most, says Vin quite sincerely. What about the issue with Sandra? Vins says, I took care of her. Vin gets a call about someone continuing the preparations. He won’t tell Enzo now what is happening. The bloom seems to be off the romance among the three pesketeers.

In a hospital bed in Germany, we see a pasty faced Inez looking scared as Fernanda comes in. Hola, Inez says Fer gently.

Pancho and Rebe kiss and act happy on the steps of Avon planning an evening date out in the Burra. When suddenly, the black clad, pez gun carrying, beret wearing duo charge up the stairs. Pancho gives them his money and keys and her purse and tries to be friendly. The pez shooter does turn out to be a water gun, so after squirting the surprised couple, the theives make off with La Burra. They finally discover that they only lost the Burra, they are not hurt, but Pancho cries for his dear truck.

Back in Berlin, Inez hears an apology by Fernanda who begs her pardon for what happened to her husband. She blesses and kisses Inez and leaves the startled looking old lady puzzled in her bed.

La Burra is full of burly boys who now report to Vin’s cell that they are awaiting instructions for the next part of the plan. They have accomplished the first step as he wished.

Freddy comes by to pick up Ana and they kiss.

At the police station, Pancho reports that his Burra has been stolen but has to correct himself for the shocked officer that La Burra isn’t an actual burro but is his truck. Rebe has to remind the officer that this was a serious holdup. Can they describe the crooks? Both Rebe and Pancho say, they looked just alike (egual), The officer is totally clueless and wants to blow it off. Just then the ladrones of La Burra arrive at the junkyard to find it locked. They don’t know what to do.

Freddy and Ana get back in his car to go off but the car seems flooded. He doesn’t seem to have a clue of what to do. Ana asks him to pop the hood and she provocatively leans over the engine and begins to fix it. (She has totally redeemed herself in my eyes with this satin covered butt shot with nonchalant control of the motor.)

Rebe drops Pancho back at his house. He is inconsolable at the loss of his beloved Burra. It makes him think of his Papa and the times they worked together. Rebe assures him that they won’t stand by with arms crossed. They will get his beloved truck back. He goes into his house while Rebe promises the air that she won’t fail him and she will do what need to be done to get La Burra back for her love.

Ana has fixed the car and with greasy hands comes back into the car, kisses an astonished Fred but gets a call about La Burra’s fate and has to leave him immediately. Freddy is unexpectedly star struck with his low-class ingénue.

Pepe is discussing results that he will get tomorrow when Pancho comes in to tell Pepe and Moni that his sad look is from losing La Burra. Ana arrives at that moment. When the chips (or burras) are down, the members of familia Lopéz are hardwired to close ranks and support each other unconditionally.

Temo whines to be part of the rescue team that will go after La Burra. Chela reminds him he has school tomorrow so cannot go. Moni, Ana and Lupita take off with Pepe to comb the city all night, with no luck. Pancho stays to worry alone in his room. Chela comes in later with tea and wants to know what he was doing when this happened. When he says he was about to go out with Rebe, she says, you mean you didn’t go out? In spite of what he was doing, she is glad that nothing happened to either of them. (Nice little shift in attitude.)

Melli rats out Freddy with PIna that he has a girlfriend. He demures, mumbling that she is named Anita. Pina plows on about who could she be and who could her family be and how rich and famous could they be. She names countless acceptably rich families.

Rebe calls Candi and says I need your help. I have an idea of how to get La Burra back. Candi is enthused to help. The kids keep looking and driving around.

At the breakfast table the talk centers on Freddy who won’t eat. Vin is mildly interested but Pina wants to hear more about this Anita. Milli says it’s Ana and the table gets inot an uproar. The boys leave and Melli asks Pina, what are you going to do with the puppies of Abeja and Popeye? Oh, they will have to be sacrificed snoots, Pina. SACRIFICED! screams the precious moppet.


At the office, Vin gets a call from the idiot La Burra thieves. They want more money and need to know what to do next. Vin tells them he will come to the junkyard but then sees Pancho coming in and manages to ask him, why the long face? When Pancho says, it is for the loss of his beloved La Burra, Vin snorts. Father and son car rustlers smirk as poor Pancho goes to his office with head hung low.

Pepe gets off of a kissy call with Moni when naco Freddy comes in to challenge him but Pancho comes in to stop the abuse. Pancho wants only to get la Burra back but Pepe sees the smirk on Fraudy’s face.

Vin shows up at the wrecking lot and sees the robbers dancing inside of La Burra. Vin has more money. He gives the order to finish La Burra off, and the car in the air is dropped by a crane that lands on a car beside beside La Burra. Go figure, one of the beret bandits is driving the crane.

At Avon, the parties have gathered, demands are made, posturing ensues. They want to get on with blaming thinking it will be Pepe’s doom, but the suit with the most interest in the car’s development says before they get going, they are going to see a video. Freddy sinks into his seat.

Moni finds out that her mother’s name isn’t Vargas, it is Ruiz, from the investigator.

The robbers hear Candi and know her voice which is on the radio inside the truck. She is giving a plea for help to recover La Burra. She gives the description and license number and the robbers decide it’s time to double dip and to get close to the luscious Candi too.

Meanwhile, the conference room video shows Fraudy and Greaseman approaching and altering something under the hood of the racecar. The investigator concludes: It is clear that the video shows the car was sabotaged by Freddy and his Greaseman. Freddy tries to whine that the video was altered but NO ONE buys it around the table. Freddy is looking like his goose is cooked. Back from break, the investors conclusion that Freddy needs to be taken off the project. Freddy begs Enzo who has no say over it. You will have to find a new pilot but Pepe is doing a great job with the car and we will continue as planned. Nothing more is to be done. The investor group leaves and Pancho congratulates his son. Freddy slams out the door.

Chato gets in trouble flirting too far and wide. With a maid from Lopez’ house while Adoración shows up and cools his ardor with a nice garden hose shower. This is enjoyable since most of Chato’s antics are neither comic nor a relief.

The beret headed nacos call the radio station and get Rebe on the phone sitting beside Candi. They make a deal that the women can come to get La Burra and they want money but they want no police or they will destroy La Burra, and oh yes, they demand two autographed photos of Candi. Rebe says of course, no police and with photos and money. They will be right there to rescue La Burra. The nacos rave about the ravaging Candi photos they are about to receive.

Moni shows up to accuse her father of giving her a false name for Violeta Ruiz who was not named Vargas. Why?

Meli tells a shocked Temo that Pina has threatened to sacrifice the puppies.

Moni accuses Enzo that he lied that he was present at the registration of her birth and he should stop lying. She stomps out again leaving him sputtering.

Melli and Temo are off to rescue the puppies. Miniiture super-kids united in a noble quest..

Pancho is crying to the boys that losing La Burra is like losing a living loved one. Just then Rebe and Candi come in chiming in that La Burra is saved.

Freddy runs in tell to Daddy that he is about to be denounced. Vin assures him that he will not be charged with any crime. Freddy wants Daddy to make him the pilot driver of the spiffy racecar like he promised.

The nacos decide to put on bandito bandanas to rob Pancho again even though Candi has come and offers the money AND the photos. Just where does Vicente find these people? One lets a VW bus begin to descend from the crane as we fade to the knuckle-to-chair-gripping close AGAIN!!

I am mostly thankful that this will be the last week of double episodes. I am also going to be gone in February to Costa Rica and Oaxaca. If anyone is interested in a 5 week guest spot, please let me know. I would like someone to take January 30 (that is next week) and all Mondays through the end of February.

Labels: familia

Roberto Vander is Esteban Nájera


He is father of the protagonist Camila and her brother Armando, husband of Elvira. He is a charming man but a compulsive gambler. His character is weak. His wife is the one who holds the reins of the house while he spends his time gambling it away.


Thanks to Elvira he succeeds, for a time, in becoming the owner of the rancho El Talismán, but in spite of his therapies he once again falls into his vice, instigated by Don Gregorio. He loses El Talismán in a poker game and his family must leave the ranch.


Julieta Rosen is Elvira Nájera


Mother of Camila and Armando, and wife of Esteban. She is a beautiful woman of much character, and the lover of Gregorio for a while. When Esteban loses everything due to his gambling vice Elvira becomes bitter about life and bitter towards her children.


When they buy El Talismán Elvira becomes Gregorio’s lover to get money from him, but Gregorio doesn’t fall for her trap and dumps her. When she loses everything Elvira swears vengeance and, years later, uses her own son Armando to avenge herself against Gregorio via his granddaughters.


Elvira disregards the fact that Pedro has deposited the value of El Talismán in Esteban’s bank account.


Pablo Azar is José Armando Nájera



Brother of Camila, son of Elvira and Esteban. He loves his sister Camila and is willing to do anything for her.


He is impulsive and vindictive, but malleable. When his family owned but then lost El Talismán he developed a hatred for the world and has vowed revenge.


Driven by his mother, and using two names, he loves Don Gregorio’s two granddaughters and enjoys watching them fight each other.




Sergio Reynoso is Don Gregorio Negrete


Antagonist, father of Lucrecia and Antonio, grandfather of Fabiola and Florencia.


He is a hard man, heartless, who has always wanted El Talismán but has never been able to obtain it.


Rich and powerful, he has just about everything but he wants El Talismán, so it becomes an obsession and he becomes capable of killing to get it. Years ago he was about to take it away from Esteban, the father of the protagonista.


In the beginning he was in love with Matilde, Mariana’s mother, but Matilde loved Bernardo and married him. This makes Gregorio such a bitter man that he marries una cualquiera (so maybe a nobody, maybe a tramp?).


It is Gregorio’s fault that Mariana has gone mad.




Lola Ponce is Lucrecia Negrete


Antagonist, daughter of Gregorio, sister of Antonio and sister-in-law of Doris.


She is very beautiful but obsessive, and accustomed to having what she wants when she wants it. She is a bold woman who, because Pedro has denied her his love, decides to get it at all costs. She knows Pedro is married but she doesn’t care and so keeps sniffing around.

Her father supports her because if Lucrecia can conquer Pedro then Don Gregorio will have El Talismán. Lucrecia hates Camila ever since she arrived, and she knows Pedro likes her, but Lucrecia is a hypocrite a pretends to be Camila’s friend to keep an eye on her movements.


She will make life impossible for Camila



Aarón Díaz is Antonio Negrete


Antagonist. Son of Don Gregorio, husband of Doris, brother of Lucrecia. He is a daddy’s boy and used to getting whatever he wants. He is bad, selfish and cruel.


As a young man he seduces Mariana and leaves her pregnant. His father wants Antonio to marry Mariana in order to get El Talismán, but Mariana doesn’t want to marry him because she knows he’s only doing it because he wants her ranch.


Antonio doesn’t care about Mariana or his son and finally his father marries him off to Doris, the daughter of a friend. Doris and Antonio have a hate-filled marriage. When Camila returns to the ranch Antonio falls in love with her and wants a divorce from Doris in order to be with Camila.


He always looks after his own interests. He is the father of Fabiola and Florencia and is good to them in spite of everything else.


He doesn’t admit it, but even though he hates his wife he sure likes making love to her.



Blanca Soto is Camila Nájera


Camila Nájera is the daughter of Elvira and Esteban, and sister of Armando.


Protagonist, a beautiful woman, and positive in spite of much suffering as a child thanks to her father’s vice. She has moved on. She is an agronomist, lover of nature and a very positive person.


She is direct, sweet, and enchanting but she is not a wimp. She’s strong like her mother and gets what she wants through kindness. She tries to be fair in everything and always finds the bright side of things. She is in love with Pedro Ibarra and is, at first, unaware that he is married.


Camila is always in conflict because she love Pedro, but she believes he is guilty of her father’s ruin. Camila does not know that Pedro paid her father in full for their ranch, and believes he took it in bad faith.


Camila never doubts the love she feels for Pedro, but she does doubt she can live with someone who, she believes, has done so much damage to her family.


Rafael Novoa is Pedro Ibarra



Protagonist, husband of Mariana. He married her to help keep Don Gregorio from taking her baby. He is handsome, manly, and although he seems cynical he is basically a good man.


He was raised in an orphanage and he helps the orphans whenever he can. He came to the country as an undocumented worker; Mariana and her father help him succeed.


Pedro tries to regain el rancho El Talismán for Mariana. He loves his wife like a sister and married her as a favor, however he falls in love with Camila. He is afraid of love and uses his cynicism as a shield.

Pedro is considered a bad guy but in spite of this Camila falls in love with him. Pedro is a man who is fair, direct, simple and foolish.


Karyme Lozano is Mariana Aceves

Mariana Aceves is a complex character who suffers the consequences of her mistakes. 

Despite knowing the hatred between her father Bernardo and Gregorio Negrete, she carries on a clandestine love affair with Gregorio's son Antonio.


She marries Pedro Ibarra in order to protect herself from the opportunistic Los Negrete, who wish to take her child (by Antonio) from her. Will Mariana allow Pedro to lose what is most important to him in order to regain El Talismán?
 

Labels: synopsis-cast, Talisman

Caption Alert! I don't know when this started, but I first discovered on Monday night that English captions are now available on CC3!

Not all TVs support CC3, and even those that do aren't always user-friendly about it, but do give it a try. Sometimes the translations are really good and sometimes they just seem like machine translations, but they should be a huge help for a lot of people who are trying to follow along.

A week ago, Pancho broke up with Rebeca, quit the Avon presidency, and then Rebeca quit too, and Fernanda was getting sick. Now, all of these things have been undone and we are back to normal, with the addition of a few new people.

For the life of me, I don't know why Nico's replacement had to be named Chato. That's just going to further complicate the existing confusion over "Ch-" names. To review: The maid is Chucha (nickname for Jesusa). Pancho's friend who looks like Kojak is Chacho, which is also a nickname for something but I forget what. The new guy is Chato. Vince is sometimes called Chente, which is a common nickname for Vicente. And then we also have Chela, although she's less likely to get mixed up in the name confusion.

Okay, so, back to the story.

Part One: Inappropriate Kisses

Pancho goes to Ana's room and tells her to stop being so disrespectful to Rebeca and to especially stop referring to the woman he loves as "la tísica." She's going to respect Rebeca and above all, she's going to respect Pancho! Ana says Rebeca has divided the family and turned Pancho against her. Pancho says nobody is turning him against Ana or anyone else in the family. He's just asking her to be nice. He loves her more than his own life, but he loves Rebeca too.

So Ana stomps out of her own room to grump to Temo about how la Tísica has turned Daddy against her. Hey, way to turn Temo against Rebeca and Daddy! The girl is irony-proof.

After accepting Pina's slap and accusations with calm mortification, Vince admits that he's friends with Candy but not lovers, sheesh, how can she think he'd have a lover like Candy Lopez? She asks him about the underwear (I'm not sure what she's referring to) and he says it was a scheme on Pancho's part, he's the troublemaker. Pina rather doubts that Pancho would be in favor of his sister having an affair with Vince. Vince says Candy is the height of vulgarity and he could never sink so low, how could Pina pay heed to some dopey secretary?

Pina's evidence is Vince's telescope and the smell of Candy's cheap perfume. Vince admits that he spies on the neighbors, but Sandra is a liar and she's on Pancho's side. He says he's sick of this war with Pancho that is screwing up his happy wonderful solid marriage with Pina. How can she doubt him after their hot interlude last night?

Chela matriculates at night school or whatever.

It's night, but everyone's still at the office. Rebeca feels badly that Pancho has to confront his kids about her. Pancho says he should have done it a long time ago. Arnoldo shows up with some print ad mock-ups. Vince is supposed to review them, but he's gone home, and anyway Pancho is Ana's father so wouldn't he like to see them first? (I note that only her face is in the ads, so there was no need to put her in a short-short dress for the photo shoot.)

Vince waits outside for his secret date with Candy. Popeye gets to him first, wanting Vince to make good on his agreement for a meeting with Abeja and the kids, but Vince blows him off. Candy shows up and he starts tell her about the disaster with Pina and Sandra, but he's interrupted by a call from Enzo, who is drunk and miserable. Vince blows him off too.

Ana waits by the roadside for Fraud to pick her up for their secret date. He's still at home, though, and Pina is looking at the ratings for her timeslot. Candy's show is in first place! Argh!!

At the restaurant, Vince is asking Candy's forgiveness. Again. But he panics when he sees Pina's friend Cathi come in with her husband Erasmo.

"Come on, Freddie, you can do it," Fraud encourages himself as he pulls over to pick up Ana for their date. She is wearing a T-shirt over a long-sleeve shirt, along with her finest overalls. Fraud looks nervous and ready to either throw up or run away. "You look very... very... special, Ana," he manages to squeak. Ana is very excited. They get in the car, but they don't go anywhere. Some date. He insists that he likes her, that she's very pretty, he likes her singing. He kisses her. Instead of being thrilled, she looks confused. And surprised.

Fraud pulls away and makes a face. It turns out she isn't as experienced as he expected. (This seems to be a recurring problem for him.) Ana confesses she's never kissed anyone before. But she promises to learn. She gets out of the car. He asks her not to be that way. She says they'll get together some other time, and bolts. Fraud grins like a doofus and lolls his tongue around thoughtfully. (Thank you, Julia, for laying all that groundwork regarding Fraud's tongue. I think we know what surprised Ana during the kiss.)

Vince asks Candy to hide under the table. (You can see where Fraud gets his suave dating skills.) He doesn't want Cathi to see them together and make things worse with Pina. He tells Cathi that he's here for a business meeting and he's waiting for a client. She thinks they should keep him company until the client arrives, but actually he thinks they should all get out of there entirely. Last time he was here, there was a giant roach swimming in his soup. So the three of them leave the restaurant, leaving a VERY angry Candy to crawl out from under the table and find her own way home.

Enzo, who is still drinking, asks Mónica if he isn't enough for her. She wants to know why she's never met her grandparents. Fortunately, he's feeling chatty. He never met his father. His mother was a single woman. She made her living doing other people's laundry. She'd dead now, "and why are we talking about your grandparents?" Moni says she just wanted him to think would it would be like not to have known his mother. "My mother was a good woman!" he roars, throwing his very heavy yet surprisingly breakable glass. (It appears that Happy Nostalgia Hour has ended.) "And what about mine? Is she a bad woman? Why did you fall in love with her?" Enzo says she changed a lot, and please just drop it.

Candy is walking home when Vince pulls over and begs her forgiveness... again. Again. Again. She smacks him with her purse and says he has to stop doing things that need to be forgiven. He has an idea. "Divorce Pina and marry me?" No, he wants them to go out as Cyrano and Mata Hari again. Yes, that will solve all their problems.

Chela walks in on Ana saying "I have to learn...", so Ana says she wants to learn how to ice skate. Um... nice save? Anyway, she tells Chela it's been an exhausting day. First the photo shoot with Arnold, and then a fight with Dad. It's all Rebeca's fault, she claims. Chela seems only too happy to take this at face value.

Ana isn't at breakfast next day. Arnold called her in to Avon early. (I'm starting to think he lives there.) Pancho tells the family she's been in a snit ever since he told her yesterday that she - all of them, in fact - need to be more respectful to Rebeca. "Why are you looking at me?" Temo asks. (Some kids wear smart-alecky well. Temo does not.) Chela disingenuously tells Pancho he can't make the kids like Rebe. "I'm not asking them to like her, just to respect her." Yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it, Chela!

Candy wants to drive herself to the gym, over Gonzalo's protests that she doesn't know how to drive. She nearly gets rear-ended by Pina and decides this is a great time for them to have their talk. Pina rolls up her window, but this barely makes a difference, only muffles their voices slightly. Pina calls Candy a traitorous home-wrecker and lots more things, but Candy says Sandra only said those things because she's jealous.

This prompts Pina to roll the window back down so we can see her shocked face. Candy says Vince and Sandra had a thing a while back, and if she's making trouble now it must be because she's having some sort of problem with Vince now. Candy, for her part, has never slept with Vince, and why would she lie about that? Pina accuses Candy of using Pina's show to get her own show, but Candy says fine, don't believe me, whatever. Pina drives off.

Chela overhears (or at least sees) the end of this and Candy isn't happy with herself at all.

Ana is daydreaming about Fraud's disappointment in her lack of kissing experience. Arnold notices her distraction. He encourages her to talk about her feelings. She asks if he's ever been in love. He says yes, in fact he's in love with someone now, but she, er, HE is in love with someone else. Well, she's in love too, and he asked her out, but it went badly because she didn't know how to kiss. She had a boyfriend before, Manuel, but they didn't kiss on the mouth.

And here's where it gets weird: Arnold offers to teach her how to kiss. Okay, I know that being out of the (imaginary, in his case) closet must really cramp his style when it comes to getting some action with the ladies, but this is ridiculous. He tells her it's perfect because he doesn't even like women. (Not sure if I can follow that logic.)

Meanwhile, Rebeca is telling Pancho Arnold's secret. He's not gay, and he's in love with her.

Arnold continues to urge Ana to let him "teach" her how to kiss. First she has to close her eyes. Picture the boy she likes. Imagine they're dancing. Imagine his face gently approaching hers... and they are kissing. It's good for a couple of seconds, but then she bites his lip. Now he says her love should flow like electricity from her lips. "Gently, delicately, no biting." They try it again, and she pictures herself and Fraud kissing while bathed in pink light. Meanwhile, Arnold pictures himself and Rebeca kissing in lavender light.

Ana happily thanks him and runs away. Arnold nearly swoons into a chair and asks himself what he was thinking.

Now Pancho is worried that nongay Arnoldo will seduce Rebeca away from him. She says Pancho is much more handsome. He is skeptical and quotes Lamberto's dicho that they're too close to see each other's defects.

Candy admits to Chela that she should have told Pina the truth, but she and Vincente aren't lovers. Chela says sure, but you're that close. Chato and Chacho show up wanting breakfast. Chucha and Goya vie for Chato's attention. Candy tries to get Chela to go to the gym with her.

Arnold goes to Pancho's office with the proofs for Ana's ad campaign. Didn't Pancho just see these the night before? Well, now he's seeing them again. Pancho keeps looking at Arnold suspiciously, and he doesn't even know the half of it!

Chucha and Goya go to the market with Chacho and Chato. Adoración is there too, asking Jessinia for some herbs to deal with Pina's afflictions. Jess watches in amusement as Chato and Ado meet for the first time and fall in love at first sight.

Part Two: Wooing and "Woooo"ing

Candy and Chela go to the gym. Chela complains that the outfit she borrowed from Candy is too tight. Candy reminds Chela that she wanted to change. Enzo, who's been rippling his best muscles in their general direction, says hello to Chela. She is offended by his attention and the fact that he's looking at her. She's even more offended when he says that he was taken by surprise at how attractive she is. Yeah, the nerve of some people.

Chato helps Adoración home with the groceries. They would seem to be on the fast-track to matrimony or something. Ado lets on that Pina is a bit nervous. Pina comes down and does not like the looks of Chato, and likes him even less when Ado says he's one of Pancho's minions. Pina kicks him out and tells him never to come back. (I predict he will save her life within the next week!)

Meli plays outside with her friend Ramona. (This must be Daniela Castro's other daughter. Recapper Jim predicted we'd see her soon.) Temo comes along with a letter he's written for Meli, but Pina tries to bust up their little lawn party. Meli gets lippy with her and Pina threatens to send her back to her mother. More lip from the kid, who doesn't think it's fair that Pina won't even let her go outside. Pancho joins the fray, and Pina is snotty with him about Temo trying to make friends with girls of a different "level." Pancho takes her aside for a chat.

At the gym, Chela is doin' it wrong. Candy shows her how to use the overhead press machine and comments on Enzo's super-fine bod. Chela really doesn't want to discuss that, but can't stop stealing glances at him. You know, because she hates him so much, she wants to get a good look at all his big stupid muscles. But she keeps catching him looking at her, and then she looks away in embarrassment, and he does NOT look away because he's so horrible and shameless and muscle-icious.

Pancho tells Pina that kids and dogs don't know about social "classes," so why get them all worked up over that, why not let them have their fun. Pina whines about all the problems that his family has caused her family. Her radio show, her precious dog, and her poor "My Husband." He says he had to take the presidency for Fernanda, because she's like a mother to him. He doesn't mean them any harm, but they've had a lot of trouble, leave the kids out of it, because he and his family are good hardworking people. And she's a good person too and should have more self-worth. Pina looks like she's taking this last part to heart.

Candy is telling Chela again that she's never done anything with Vince. Chela asks what's the worse betrayal - sex or love? Candy plays dumb and says she feels sorry for Sandra who will be getting in a lot of trouble for this. Now Enzo comes down a hallway with no shirt on. He looks like an anatomy chart. A mean, evil, horrible, hatable, luscious anatomy chart. "Goodbye, Graciela, Candy." Chela is staring at him speechlessly with wide eyes.

Chato is still charming the heck out of Ado and asks her to give him a call next time she has a day off. He leaves, googly-eyed. Ado is googly-eyed too. "He's so ugly... and so gorgeous!"

Vince rehashes with Enzo about Pina. Suddenly Vince notices that Enzo looks different. Hey, it's only been like 15 episodes or something. Celeste comes in, saying that the car company has some questions for Enzo. Enzo asks her to call Pepe.

I guess things are going well with the Avon racecar. Enzo calls just as Fraud shows up with some other dork. The car company execs want a demo tomorrow, so the car has to be ready. The new dork is Fraud's mechanic Walter. Fraud whines that he's putting his life on the line with Pepe's car. Didn't they already have this conversation? Yes, I quote Julia from Thursday night: "I don't know how this delicate petunia manages to drive a racecar without having the vapors. Or biting his tongue off." Well, there's always tomorrow.

Fraud is sooo sure that Pepe hates him. Pepe says he doesn't think enough of him to hate him. Hee! Fraud thought-bubbles that Pepe will have plenty of reason to hate him.

Lupita helps Chela with her homework and remarks that Chela looks good these days. Ana says she'll have no trouble getting Dad, then. Chela says that's not why she's doing this. She's doing it so she'll feel better about herself. Then Fraud calls Ana for another "date" tonight. Maybe this time they will actually go someplace?

Fraud asks Walter if the plan is still on. Walter says yes. Fraud says it has to be tonight. If it all works out, Walter will get the rest of the money.

Candy helps Ana get ready for her date. Ana isn't completely sure about dressing up for Fraud, but Candy is enthusiastic.

Fraud is beside himself with excitement. Actually he's beside Walter, breaking into the lot where the racecar is locked up. This is how Fraud gets ready for a hot date.

Pina is sulking up in her room and doesn't say much when Vince says he has to get ready for another dinner appointment. He notices that she's acting a little strange, but doesn't get interested until he sees that his closet is empty because she has packed up all his clothes. She tells him to go to Sandra, who will no doubt be happy to see him. No, she hasn't lost her mind. She's thinking of herself for a change.

Fraud and Walter leave the car lot feeling pleased with themselves. This will be the end of the mechani-naco!

---

Pancho tries to bond with Temo over Temo's love for Meli, since that's how Pancho feels for Rebe. Temo says it's different because he and Meli don't have kids; besides, Auntie Chela loves him. Pancho asks how Temo would feel if Meli's little friend Ramona liked him too. Ah, well there, point made, that's just how he feels. So from now on be respectful to Rebeca, m'kay?

Ana feels like a clown wth all the makeup Candy is putting on her. Candy promises that Fraud will go to pieces when he sees her. (Or wedges, perhaps.)

Pina tells Vince she heard about Sandra from Candy. Vince says Sandra is a very vulgar woman and so is Candy, but Candy is a much better woman than Sandra. Pina recognizes this as an admission of guilt, that he did have an affair with Sandra. He claims it was just one time, too many tequilas after a rough day. And somehow, this was Pina's fault. (Pina takes offense.) He begs her forgiveness. She leans in close and says "NO! No I don't forgive you. For now, get rid of that filthy woman and then we'll see."

Chucha and Goya argue over Chato. Goya recognizes that it's the same situation they had with Nico, except Chato smells better. But they're not happy with him for ditching them at the market. Pancho comes in and quickly figures out who they're talking about. He asks them to make a nice dinner for the family and Rebeca and Chacho and Chato, and not to let Chela do anything. Chucha and Goya quake at the thought of seeing Chato again. "Don't forget I saw him first!" Goya complains.

Ado is doing something in the kitchen when she hears a noise at the window. Then a louder one, and the window breaks. It's Chato, trying to get her attention outside. He's waiting with a bouquet of herbs or flowers or weeds. She comes out to see him, commenting that he's awfully fast. He steals a few chaste kisses, but I can tell neither of these two have been to Arnoldo's School of Osculation. Meanwhile, Goya comes outside looking for Popeye and sees them and is jealous.

Pancho sees Ana all made up and says she looks great. He'd like her to join them and Rebe for dinner. She denies that she's still mad at him, but says she has an important date. Candy too. Pancho's not nosy enough to ask who either of them has plans with. Wow.

Arnold overhears Rebeca talking mushy to Pancho on the phone. He should offer her kissing lessons, but instead he asks if she told Pancho the truth about him. She said yes, sorry, but she couldn't lie for him. Lies and omissions have caused too much trouble for them. She's sure he won't tell anyone, though. Arnold won't explain why he's been living this lie for so long but says that if anyone finds out, it will be the end of his career. (A guess: he used "I'm gay" as an excuse to turn down some powerful but horny woman who was interested in him, and if she ever finds out he was lying, she'll ruin him.)

Ana and Candy wish each other luck on their hot dates.

Chela takes a break from her studying to daydream (evening-dream?) about the Evil Beef-a-Roni and tries to stop thinking about him. Pancho catches her in mid-try and admires her for being stronger and more brave now than ever. He gives her a big hug.

Fraud seems very enthusiastic to see Ana looking much more girly than usual. She's afraid she looks silly. Yes, they're going to go somewhere this time - someplace quiet. (In other words, nowhere that anyone will see them or he has to spend any money. Cheapskate.)

Chela tries to hide her disappointment when Pancho reveals that Rebe will be coming over for dinner, but at least Chela doesn't have to cook the meal. Anyway, instead of getting all grumpy, she says it's no problem and she'll support him. She tells Pancho she needs to get ready. He leaves and she calmly unleashes a lengthy string of unflattering epithets for Rebeca, of which "Tísica" is only the first. "Coming over for dinner! That's just swell."

Fraud has taken Ana to Makeout Mountain, or is that the Kissin' Cliff or Naked Knoll or Studly Summit or Hussy Heights or... I guess it doesn't matter what it's called, as long as it's not Pregnancy Promontory. There is a nice view of the city and the distant mountains, all shrouded in pollution mist. "You like me, right?" he asks her. He asks why. She goes on and on like a fool about how he has this air of superiority that she really likes. He says most people don't like that about him. Then he asks, "do you want to be my novia?"

The remaining members of Pancho's family entertain Rebeca with tales of each others' romantic lives. When Rebeca asks Temo if he really has a novia, at first he looks like he's going to say something bratty, but Pancho gives him a look and Temo politely answers that she's not exactly his novia, but he does like her. Pancho asks about Chato; Chacho doesn't know where he is. Even this draws loud, annoying, titillated "wooo!"s from everyone. Ugh, why don't we just add a laugh track and call it a night? Chela shows up on cue and nicely says hello to Rebeca. Pancho doesn't notice how great she looks, but Chacho does as usual and she ignores him as usual.

It turns out that Fraud only wants Ana to be his SECRET novia. Because her father wouldn't like it if he found out. Ana blurts that he's right, Pancho sure didn't approve of Candy and Fraud's father. Oops.

Cyrano and Mata Hari are at this moment checking in at another fine restaurant. They've both brought hats so they can hide their faces. They are congratulating themselves for coming up with this great idea when Vince notices that Mara (Pina's friend, the woman from the magazine that said Chela was Pancho's wife) is sitting nearby with some guy named Clark. Vince tries to hide behind his hat, but neither he nor Candy seem able to tear their eyes away from Mara. Mara notices this weird couple and asks Clark if he knows them. He doesn't, but he takes a picture. They're both looking right at the camera!

Fortunately, Ana's slip of the tongue (so to speak) does not get her into trouble, because Fraud has no curiosity whatsoever when it comes to other people. Ana says she has a surprise and tells him to close his eyes. This kiss seems to be working out better than the last one. There's no pink light around them, though.

There's a knock at Fernanda's hotel room. It's Snorty, er, Inés. "It's high time we settle our scores, Fernanda!"

Chato arrives late for dinner. Goya thought-bubbles that he's going to pay. She goes over to him with a pitcher of cold tamarind juice and pours it into his lap, "oops, so sorry." Then she nearly beats him up pretending to dry him off and mutters through clenched teeth that he won't get away with keeping three women on the hook.

Then Chucha rushes in with an elaborate floral arrangement for Chela. "There's no doubt that your beauty is the greatest - Enzo Rinaldi," she reads the card to herself. "Who's it from, Chelita?" asks poor Chacho, who's going to just DIE when he finds who his newest competition is...

Next time:
On Vince's orders, Pancho and Rebeca are menaced by a man with a beret and a tiny gun. Does that thing fire bullets, or just Pez? Also: Sandy & Candy present Slapfest 2012!

Labels: familia