Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Abismo de pasión #70 6/19/12: The forehead crack’d from side to side ...

A curse upon your chiles cried

the witch who drives the plot.

Tonight, in the writer’s room, the Bitter Irony Squad was in charge. Lots of foreshadowing. Lots of bombs set to go off in the next few days. [The optimists managed to sneak in a little Tupperware – but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.]

The Old:

At Hacienda Harango, Alfonsina broadcasts Paolo’s scandalous history with Kenia over Radio Begoña. Bony B is troubled. She knows her daughter has a thing for Paolo. An anvil hovers.

At the Procesadora, Kenia realizes what the old airplane tickets mean: ¡No era Estefanía! ¡No era la mamá de Elisa la que se iba a escapar del pueblo con este hombre! (It wasn’t E! It wasn’t Elisa’s mom who was going to run away with that man!) An anvil hovers.

The New:

Ingrid doesn’t know what Kenia’s talking about. But she stuffs the tickets into her giant purse (they must be valuable or why would he lock them away all these years?), then closes the safe.

Casa Castigo:

Elisa, who still hasn’t noticed she forgot to put her pants on, replays Alfie’s threats for Lolita. She mentions how Horacio defied Alfie, refusing to kick Elisa out when ordered to do so and for his trouble, got fired.

Cantina:

Horacio discovers that the Gabino Mendoza Employment Agency isn’t hiring right now.

The Fields:

Damián, the city mouse, joins forces with country mice Gael and Lucio. Dam may not know from habaneros, but since they’re Elisa’s habaneros, he Dam well can learn.

Casa Tovar:

Edmundo listens dumbly as Begoña explains (dumbly, but using words) why she went calling on Carmina: she was just trying to please him by expanding her circle of friends. A pie cart rumbles in the distance.

Doc Tovar’s office:

Enrique catches Paloma on her way out and asks her to the movies. She can’t – she’s seeing Gael tonight. They’re novios! And since Dam is still in love with Elisa, Enrique shouldn’t give up hope for his hothouse Flor. That’s why God invented rebounds, right?

Casa Castigo:

Now jobless, homeless and penniless, Horacio seeks solace from Lolita. He’s heartbroken that he has to back out of his marriage proposal since he can’t support a wife. Don’t worry, she says, they can get married when he gets a job.

Horacio perks up. “Does that mean you’re saying yes?” It does indeed. And it was his defense of Junior Miss Chile Pepper from the black widow Arango that helped her decide.

The novios lean in and exchange a sweet smooch when ...

Enter Augusto. He had no idea Lolita and Horacio were keeping company. Horacio needs a job? Sorry, dude, there’s no money for hiring. Now Augusto squints and sees the “I Defended Elisa from the AlphaBitch” sticker on Horacio’s chest. Oh. Well in that case, he can stay and they’ll sort it out.

Kenia, reeking of sweat and desperation, the pit stains of the blue dress invisible in the darkness, lurks outside. She spots Paloma walking up to the house.

Elisa welcomes her best friend with a tongue-lashing. She’s furious that Paloma told Dam about the Faustian bargain Elisa made with Alfie. And now all hell is going to break loose and it is All Paloma’s Fault. [No one slaps Elisa here but we’ll all feel better if we close our eyes and imagine one. Thwaaaap. Okay.]

Dam, his back dam sore from working in the fields all day, surprises Gael with the news that they are going to be roomies for a while. He’s going to be staying with Uncle Lupe. No way he’s going back to the Hacienda after the stunt his mother pulled.

The Blue House:

Ingrid greets Gabino with her customary mating call: Gimme my money!

No can do, says the gentleman. The money is deposited in the bank. Under his name of course.

This makes Icky Ing a little testy. She tells him that compared to his late boss, Rosendo, Gabs is insignificant (muy poca cosa): ¡Eres así de chiquitito en todos los sentidos! (Literally, You are soooooo small in every sense of the word! Figuratively, Hit me.)

Predictably, Gabino slams her one, right in the kisser (Whamp!), drawing blood. He tells her to shut up but apparently she understands him to say “Keep talking – I love the sound of your voice”.

She’ll tell Alfie he’s kept her in the house and ... and ... other stuff! “Looky here!” She fishes the plane tickets out of the huge purse and waves them in his face. And she demands an explanation. Oh yes, the anvil hovers, hovers, hovers ...

And what does Gabino do? Damned if he doesn’t give her one! An explanation, that is. He spills the sad sordid Rosendo/Carmina story, Estefanía’s innocence and tells how Carmina came to lend them the house. He also confides that one day the tickets may protect him from Alfie. After all these years and all those lives destroyed by her insane and misdirected hatred for Estefanía, she would lose face if the truth were known.

Gabino knocks back a shot.

Hacienda Harango:

Alfie, still in her smart, sleeveless, beige and white polka dot shirtdress, has taken to her bed. Guido and Flor hover. She doesn’t need a doctor, she sniffles. She needs her son. And all he cares about is Elisa! Guido offers to go Dam-hunting but is spared the effort when Padre Lupe enters. No need, he says, Dam is staying with him. Lupe would like to talk to his sister privately, so Flo, still shlepping around the hacienda in 5” heels and jeggings and Guido, looking very slight, retreat obediently.

Alfie turns the switch from Pathos to Arrogance as soon as the Landuccis leave the room. When she begins “Damián is my son and everything I’ve done ...” Padre finishes “... is out of love and for his own good.”

Padre Lupe isn’t in the mood for her poisonous mishigas tonight. He tells her straight out: Change your attitude or lose your son forever! Goodnight, sister!

Flor is waiting outside the room and now begs Lupe to tell her what’s happening. Why is Dam staying at Lupe’s house? He’s her novio, after all. Her novio? That’s news to Lupe. He promises to speak to his nephew. He’s sure he’ll come by to see her and explain.

Padre Lupe’s home:

Gael is shirtless. Dam has his top buttons undone. [Hold the image for when you need it because the night is gonna get ugly.]

The two are grumpily marking their territory in the small bedroom. The conversation turns to affairs of the heart. Dam confesses that Elisa is still turning him down because she’s afraid of what Alfie might do to Augusto.

Dam disapproves of Gael’s courting Paloma when he isn’t in love with her. Gael accuses Dam of doing the same thing with Flor. More than once. (Well yeah, we know they’re both being jerks but they’re not ready to see it.)

La Ermita – el centro:

Pathetic Paolo has finally dragged himself out of bed, out of the house and onto his phallocycle. He rolls on down the main drag, spots even more pathetic Sabrina right outside her house, and convinces her to hop on. See paragraph one above. Note: no one is wearing a helmet. An anvil hovers.

Inside the Tovar house, the Rotten Orange and the increasingly delusional Begoña are extolling the virtues of mature marital love and the importance of learning from one’s mistakes. Begoña invites herself and Edmundo to dinner at the Castañon home the following night. As the Orange One leaves, both women realize Sabrina hasn’t come home yet. Uh oh. Still hovering.

Casa Castigo:

Lolita lays down the law: no pre-boda friskiness just because Horacio is living on the property. For his part, Horacio is ready to ask the padre to set the date. Horacio hasn’t said much about his family. What business were they in? His father had a butcher shop (carnicería). [A butcher shop? Oh give me a break!] Now he thinks he’d like to open a carnicería of his own right here in La Ermita.

Elisa comes home still unaware of her pantslessness. She’s delighted to hear their plans.

Hacienda Harango:

Toña washes, Braulio dries. Toña blathers, Braulio listens uneasily: Damián left the hacienda, Alfie threatened to destroy Elisa and Augusto and then fired Horacio for defending Elisa. And now poor Horacio is out of work (Lo puso de patitas en la calle She kicked him out) and it looks like poor Lolita may end up an old maid after all (a lo mejor queda para vestir santos) since there’s no money for a wedding now.

Casa Castigo:

Kenia crouches behind a wall outside the quinta. She listens to Augusto and Carmina chatting. Have we ever heard them speak so pleasantly to each other? They kiss briefly and he sets out to see Edmundo. Kenia lurks. The anvil is poised.

Donde Don Lucio:

Thirty seconds of sweet – Maru shows up with a stack of reheatable containers and Lucio insists she come in, heat them up, and join him at the table.

Donde Alfonsina:

Fifteen seconds of bitter reflecting thirty years of the same – Alfie stares at her image in a mirror, tears stream down her face. Wanna bet who she’s crying for?

Donde Padre Lupe:

Lupe is concerned about Florencia. Dam always complains that his mother is manipulative but isn’t Dam doing the same thing in his treatment of this young woman?

Speaking of whom ...

Guido coaxes his daughter to eat and frets when she talks about needing pills to sleep. He tells her it was a mistake getting back together with Damián. The truth is Dam doesn’t love her. Florencia isn’t willing to hear this. Why can’t daddy be more supportive?

Casa Castigo:

The Mean Orange corners Horacio: “If you’re going to be living here, you’ll obey my orders”, she snarls. “I need someone to do the dirty work.”

That isn’t in his job description, protests Horacio.

The Rotten Citrus has her own approach to Human Resources – do what she says or Lolita will find out he murdered Blanca! Anvils hover.

Elisa and Lolita (Lolita is the one on the right, the one wearing a skirt) are all joyful girlish glee about weddings and butcher shops. “Wouldn’t it be swell if Horacio set up his carnicería right on the spot where Blanca met a fiery death in her little casa de modas?” enthuses Elisa. “I bet don Lucio would help you out.” [The Bitter Irony Squad are wetting their pants in the writers room as this scene plays out.] Anvils fill the sky as far as the eye can see.

Elisa cuts her prattling short when she catches sight of Kenia, still lurking in the darkness. WHAT is she doing there? Enough with the obsessive stalker crap already!

Kenia defends herself: It’s not an obsession. She’s in love with Augusto! And he has never been happy with That Woman.

That Woman has lied to them her whole life! And now it’s raining anvils!

Take a deep breath and lie back and float in the cool waters of the cenote.

Avances: Carmina hits Kenia’s head with a stone and then pushes her under water ... Dam is determined to win back the shrewish, er, I mean, spirited Elisa’s affections ... Dam falls off his horse and Elisa appears troubled.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Refugio Para el Amor #35-36 Tue 6/19/12 DESTINY (aka Rod Torreslanda) Comes Knocking on Paz and Luci’s Door


Just the bullet point facts tonight folks, typed up in real time. Fill in any nuances I might have missed. If anyone would like to try their hand at recapping, we’ve got a few open spaces.

-Violeta brings Claudio Luci’s family’s deeds. Claudio is not surprised the Torreslandas made Luci’s life hell. He starts the investigation into the properties. He’ll miss Luci, but will keep in contact with her. He’s sure Don Aquiles is playing dirty with the properties issue.

-The Gossip Girls come to spread the word that everyone knows Paz’s house is for sale by Don Aquiles, and some gorda is interested in buying it. Magda is sure Luci’s lawyer friend will solve the problem.

-Violeta tells Estella she thinks it’s so romantic that Rod came looking for Luci. She’s sure he’ll continue looking for her, like in a fairytale. Estella says she gave him the money to return to Rosa.

-Rosa tells Padre what’s done is done and now it’s time for them to continue with their lives. She wants Padre to convince Pato of this. She also wants to now be at peace, which will be easier now that Aurora look-alike Luci is gone. She’s not going to lift one finger to bring the truth about Aurora’s baby to light.

-Claudio has some sad time at Aurora’s grave about Luci leaving.

-Rosa bitches to Connie about Rod returning to Mexico to see Luci, and gloats about getting rid of Luci. Connie is frustrated by her sister’s crazy attitude. Rosa says Connie would do the same to protect her family. Connie denies it and points Rosa to the truth about what’s really bugging her—Luci’s resemblance to Aurora. Rosa admits it.

-Claudio gets more legal red tape run around in his quest to move his wife’s and child’s remains.

-Gala has a fit with Brigida over the phone because her homing device on Rod stopped working. Brigida will get the info for her on Rod's location.

-Julie and Gala are determined to find out more about Luci’s past. Julie is sure Rosa will continue to be an ally. Better a divorcee for her son, than a servant.

-Rod hears Rosa admit her hatred for Luci is because she looks like Aurora. He gives her back the money she gave to Luci and reams her out. Max comes in and Rod announces that he’s going after Luci. Rosa’s threats against Luci have just made him see more clearly how much he loves Luci. Rosa has a breakdown and weeps on the floor. “Don’t do this to me Rodrigo, please.”

-Rod tells Pato Rosa’s latest tricks against Luci. Pato tells him that if he really loves her, then look for her and make her happy!

-Paz and Madga are stunned and happy to see Luci back.

-Rod asks Violeta where Luci went. (Can’t he guess?) Violeta isn’t talking. Rod begs and pleads his case.

-Luci tells the moms that she didn’t have the skills and experience needed to help the paralyzed young man she worked with, and missed them (Paz and Magda). Magda wonders if maybe she could have recommended Vio for the job. Uhm…Vio's happy with the job she has. Luci does not reveal the truth. Luci assures them that her lawyer friend is still working on the properties case. Magda wonders if this lawyer has other interests in her. Nope. He feels like a father to her. Luci is no longer afraid of Aquiles. She’s shocked to hear Aquiles is selling their house, but has faith that Linares will help them.

-Aquiles tells Procopio that what he did to him (the beat down) is just a taste of what he could do to him. He’s still plotting to get his little dove, Luci.

-Luci’s painting a pot when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Rod! (She really should have asked who it is now that she’s back in Don Aquiles country. She got lucky.)

-Padre visits Pato, who seems to be in a better mood. He shows Padre what he can do with his right hand. He’s decided to dedicate himself to recovering. He’s in a good mood because he’s sure Luci will be back. Rod’s gone to get her.

-Rod hugs Luci and kisses her passionately. She pulls away. She came back to the pueblo to get away from this impossible love. He clarifies that he didn’t take Gala to Miami with him. He loves Luci and wants to be with her.  He embraces her again and says he knows she loves him too. Rod says he’s decided to confront the whole world to be with her. (His mother, Gala, etc.) She starts ranting about how impossible it all is, so he shuts her up with another passionate kiss.

-Gala whines to Rosa that it’s her fault things developed between Rod and Luci, since she warned her about it. Rosa doesn’t want to hear it. She thinks they need to do something drastic. Gala recommends they hire an investigator. They want to find something in her past to use against Luci. Frigida has just what they need. She knows of someone who's been threatening Luci, with the initial “L.”

-Luci doesn’t want to be the cause of Rod separating from his family. All he needs to know is whether she loves him, then he’ll be prepared for anything.  He’s pleased she’s not calling him Joven anymore. He wants to hear her call him Rodrigo. She’s got a better name for him…Muchachón (mushashón). They seal it with another kiss.

-Luci and Rod make like Demi Moore and Patrick Swazye in Ghost and play in the clay. He asks her to marry him and gets a face full of clay when Luci caresses his face in surprise. He wants to ask her mother formally for her hand. He rushes out to prep for the big ask, and Procopio follows him, and then reports back to Aquiles.

-Pato initiates a meeting at Torreslanda to tell them he’s taken over some projects because Rod’s gone to San Francisco del Alto (Het Het) to find Luci. Max loses it. He calls Rod to asks what the hell he’s doing there on personal business when they have so much real business pending in D.F. Rod feels his personal business is more important and hangs up on Max.

-Lastra gets frustrated that he can’t reach Luci. He’ll use the brother to get to Luci. Ivan brings up how interested Aldo seems in their business.

-Lorenzo wants to make Lastra and the Torreslandas pay for what they did to Luci. Vio thinks the best vengeance will be for Luci to marry Rod Torreslanda. He who laughs last, laughs best. She wants Lorenzo to be careful about messing with dangerous people like Lastra. Forget vengeance. What he needs to concentrate on is Linares getting their property back.

-Luci is grinning from ear to ear when Magda and Paz return. She tells them Rodrigo came to find her and wants to marry her. Mom and Madga want an explanation about who this guy is. Who is he? Where did you meet him? Magda starts running around making coffee and getting things ready.

-The Torreslanda guard tells Lastra to take his ass to the street and away from the gate. Lastra then calls the house and gets Frigida. If Luci doesn’t respond, I will come looking for her at the house. Frigida can’t believe her luck.

-Rod actually shows up. I was worried Aquiles would break his legs or something. Paz nearly passes out when she hears his full name—Rodrigo TORRESLANDA. Madga catches her before she falls. They have her sit down. She catches her breath and tells them she’s fine. Paz keeps staring at Rod and chugs down some water.

-Flashback alert! Young gardeners Paz and Galdino, and some little boys playing in the background (Rod and Pato?) Luci, Rod and Magda want to take Paz to lie down. She doesn’t want to be rude to Rod.  When he strokes her shoulder in concern, she nearly passes out again.

-Rod tells Paz that he loves Luci and wants to marry her. Paz wants to know if his parents are in agreement. I’m a grown man and no one interferes in my decisions. Magda wonders if they aren’t rushing things. Rod points out that they actually met long ago, right here in the pueblo. All this DESTINY is too much for Paz. She decides to go lie down. Luci takes her and Rod worries about her to Magda. Magda just thinks it’s a mother’s natural reaction. She’ll be fine. What Paz wants most is the happiness of her children.

-Paz asks Luci who is this young man and how did they get to know each other. Doesn’t she know there’s a great difference between them. Luci tells her she knows this is the man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with and she loves him. Paz asks his parents’ names and nearly has a heart attack when she hears Maximino and Rosalena TORRESLANDA. She fakes being ok and has Luci leave her alone. Then she has a major meltdown. “Help me Galdino! What am I going to do with this heavy truth?”

-Magda brags about Violeta being a night nurse. Rod is surprised to hear this but doesn’t argue the point. Ariche comes over and wants to know who the muchachón is. He’s not pleased to hear he’s Luci’s novio. He looks the big guy up and down.

-Frigida reports the latest Lastra call to Gala.

-Julie gossips with one of her friends about how Rod could dump a prize like Gala. Julie keeps the Rod has a disease story going. Gala’s health is more important than the money she would have gotten, plus, Gala doesn’t need the money.

-Gabriel and Marcos tell Pato that Rod can check on the foundation they started while he’s up north. Pato does not want them to bug Rod with work. He’s off seeking his happiness. Pato also looks really happy.

-Paz pretends to be asleep, but is really crying in her room. Magda knows something is wrong and that it has to do with Rod. She begs Paz to stop crying and to calm down. Paz hyperventilates about Rod’s parents and how they’ll react.

-Rod tries to win Ariche over by having him give him a tour of the pueblo. Rod and Luci take every moment they can to kiss and coo, which annoys Ariche. The gossip ladies see Luci and Rod kissing in the plaza and assume he’s from the capital. They drool over Rod. Procopio also spies on them, but gets a nasty surprise when Ariche chases him off with his slingshot and some well aimed rocks to the butt.

-That milkshake Hannah is playing with looks delicious. Anyway, Hannah tells Lula all the drama going on at her house. She is sure, by continuing her studies, Luci will be a better wife for Rod than Gala. Boris comes over, and Lula leaves. He’s mad that Hannah’s had no time for him, and asks her to be his novia.

-Max wants Oscar to pay off the judge in a big way. Oscar doesn’t see the point. Plus, there is no way Claudio has enough money to beat them at the bribe the judge game. Max doesn’t care. He just wants to make sure the judge is not on Claudio’s side.

-Lic. Barrera is also worried about Judge Avila and tells Claudio. Claudio knows that the judge is a key piece (pieza clave) in all of this.

-Oscar asks Connie out to dinner, saving her from having yet another futile conversation with Rosa about leaving Luci alone.

-The three witches, Gala, Rosa, and Frigida meet about Lastra’s call. Gala uses the caller id to get Lastra’s number. She plans on calling him and does as soon as she gets back to her office. We’re both interested in finding that woman. Let’s do it together.

-Hannah tells Pato she told Boris she’ll tell him tomorrow if she’ll be his novia. (Clear as mud, right?) She’s not sure if she likes him that way, plus there’s the Lula issue. She decides Melissa will be the best person to give her advice, rather than Pato.

-Paz admits to Magda that Rod is the son of the woman who gave her Luci.

-Ariche is bragging to Rod that he’s the best with the slingshot, and Luci is pretty good too. He demonstrates his skills, then has Rod demonstrate. But Rod hits the balloon vendor instead. Oopsies! They buy all his balloons to make up for it.

-Procopio reports to Aquiles that some big, blond, blue eyed, city guy has come to steal his little dove away. No one will take his dove away from him!

-Paz continues the tale of how Rosa gave her the baby and money and made her promise to take Luci away so that she’d NEVER have to see her again. Paz doesn’t remember much about Luci’s parents. Just that the husband fell into disgrace and the mother Aurora died in child birth. Magda wants to know why Rosa didn’t keep the baby out of the goodness of her heart, as she was friends of the baby’s parents. Paz doesn’t know, but Rosa was always cold and distant. She hardly ever said a word to them. Magda thinks it’s DESTINY that put Luci back on that woman’s path. Paz is scared of what’s to come. Magda says it’s time Paz told Luci the truth. Luciana has a father who’s probably out of jail and looking for her. Luci has a right to be in that house as a lady of society, not as a servant like us.

-Rosa argues with the Padre again. Her job as a mother is to open her children’s eyes when they make an error. Later at the house, Julie rubs it in Rosa’s face that she can’t control her kids. Rosa says she’ll die before she lets Luci set a foot in her house.

-Pato tells Hannah that Luci would never come back to their house as a servant—she has too much dignity. If he were Rod, he’d marry Luci without thinking twice about it.

-Luci and Ariche dance in the plaza and Rod cuts in. Much happy dancing, swinging, and kissing.

-Don Serapio congratulates Paz on Luci finding such a great novio. Paz barley holds it together.

-Lorenzo tells Polo that Aldo wants access to the Inferno office. Polo thinks it’s a bad idea.

-Boris pressures Hannah into saying yes. She doesn’t look so sure. She interrupts Pato’s musings about Luci to tell him he now has a brother-in-law. Pato tries not to laugh at her.

-Rod and Luci stroll the streets of Het Het and shout out their love. She takes him into a little cave/amphitheater filled with candles, and they spin and shout their love at the top of their lungs.

-Another group of three witches (Gala, Rosa, and Julie) meet to talk about the investigation into Luci. Oscar and Connie interrupt. They are going on a date. No Julie, we did not invite you. Aldo calls to say he’s going out too. Rosa wants to make sure he’s not slumming with some low class girl like the other men in the family lately. Oscar and Connie go on their merry way (but not before Julie invites herself on a 3-person date with them that weekend), and leave the witches to do their bitching.

-Rod asks Luci once again to marry him in the romantic amphitheater of twinkling candlelight. They end the episode with a long, gentle kiss.

Avances: Gala and Lastra unite evil forces. Paz tells Luci and Rod that they will suffer.

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EL TALISMAN Post Mortem – The Last Gasp - 6-19-12


Post Mortem by Anita, Intrepid Editor in Chief, Freesnow Underground Gazette


Memorable Quotes

“I'm trying to imagine Pigorio's hell à la Dante Alighieri. Doomed to get his bacon scorched and then kicked hard for all eternity by pregnant, pithed off amazons wearing pointy-toed shoes? Rotisseried while having to watch a big screen of all is ex-servants enjoying the good life thanks to El Tal's generous new owner.”  The Cap’n.

“I wish, since Mariana had to die, that her ghost could have stuck around to haunt and taunt the immobile Pig. Or if she was unavailable, repeat visits from Elvira.” Carlos.

“No wait, the new favorite line is: ‘We know from past shows this means he [El Piggorio] has morning sickness and is pregnant.’”  The Cap’n quoting the original quote from Rosemary La Otra’s recap when Don G fainted.

“Everyone grab those feathers and hot wax and I will see you at the boda!”  Rosemary La Otra.

“So much hope, so little delivery. Still, it's been fun mostly because we made it that way. El Tal was a hoot to mock.”  The Cap’n.

“We were coming off a CME high and just assumed its replacement would be a decent substitute. No one told us the editors and continuity guys came over from Maybe I'll Come Home in the Spring. lol Does anyone remember that hallucinogenic movie?”  Rosemary La Otra.

“Nobody told us it was a comedy, either. We just weren't prepared.”  Forgettable quote from Anita.

“Well, the producers and writers deserve no awards, but our actors sure do. Aaron Diaz, for being the first to figure out it was a comedy and running with that, and also for best death scene. Blanca Soto, for perseverance in the face of all adversity. Rafa Novoa, for having the wisdom to be completely stoned throughout the run. Julieta Rosen, for never forgetting her line "el cheque es mio" despite the headbands cutting off the blood to her brain. Lola Ponce, for maintaining her cheer and lust even while wearing strangling tight pants for months.”  Julia.

“A blooper reel would wash some of the angst away -- and I imagine we'll be commenting well into next week and perhaps beyond. It's hard to let go of the oobleck.”  Blue Lass.


How We Might Have Made This TN Better

“I would always have Pedro with a brain, I would have told two actors portraying siblings not to ‘fool’ around until after the TN finished - their relationship was always apparent on screen. I would have given the cops some kind of thinking process if only for one episode. It was just too much of the "good" guys being soooo stupid, it was just too over the top. These writers should know sometimes the good guys do win one and it does not have to be in the last episode.” Nellie

“The first thing I would have done to make this TN better, I would have replaced the directors. The actors are all so wooden. I feel like I am watching a high school play (and that is being generous). It is not the actors or writers fault, it is the directors. Just watch any of the other TN and you see the actors actually moving around and well, just acting.

The second thing I would have done is changed the wardrobe group. The costuming is just ‘wrong.’ Cami in real life is very glamorous so why did they make her look like a throw back to the 60's? Doris always looks bad in whatever she is wearing. Lulu's very high heels make me cringe.” Rosemary Primera

“I wish that we could have visited Rennie's yacht. Surely Oscar has a boat.  I would have had Sarita in a different costume every day.  I would have liked more of Lucrezia, Doris, and Rita. 
More Oscar... he seemed so real.”  Carlos

“Aren't we overdue for a shower scene? The Prince of Darkness needs to take a long drench with some product-placed Suave shampoo and get rid of the grease and the scruff. Maybe if he were clean, he would feel better and behave better.”  Julia

“What to change:  Mariana doesn’t die.  Cut the Fab & Flo storyline. Maybe there should only have been one younger daughter--to make the Doris-Antonio relationship age appropriate.   Antonio should have been clean shaven and curly locked.  He should have been a little more Don Juanish with Camila. He could have wooed her a bit better and provided some conflict for her to choose between nice Pedro and naughty Antonio.

Maria-Angel-Manuel were great but came in too late.  More Rennie-Rita-Oscar-Elvira would have lightened the load of muck we got.  Don Gregorio could have been a more attractive older actor (so we wouldn’t cringe to see him in bed with anyone).  Make Lulu less crazy and more devious.  The whorehouse thing--we enjoyed making fun of it, but as smart as Doris was at accounting, she could have been cooking the books and stealing El Trash right out from under Antonio and Don G and found herself a handsome accomplice like Lucas for fun on the side.

Esteban's mother should have moved to Fresno and she wouldn't have taken and nonsense from Sarita and Gabe (or Elvira).  Claudio and Tia shouldn't have died in the explosion. They should have ended up in the hospital, terrribly wounded.   Claudio still would have had a chance with Flo--oops, forgot, I wrote her out.”  Endless paraphrased blather from Anita.  P.S. Carlos replied that, “Sorry, with GM footing the bill, that cute little Ford had to die a violent death.  Paty and Claudio were collateral damage.”


TAL*MART Grand Finale Sale.  No Refunds.  All Sales Are, Por Fin, Wait For It, Final

Clothing and T-Shirt Department

For Mike ONLY—Special order tee that says, “I can’t believe I watched the first 1/4.”
New tee with  “I can't believe I watched the whole thing!” (or summer porch banner)
New tee with “I'm SO glad it is over!" (also as a coffee mug, heck, make it a banner)
New tee with “I didn’t watch the whole thing, but enjoyed the recaps”
New tee with “They killed Renato! You bastards”
New tee with “Rafa can't possibly be as happy as WE are”
New tee with “Who’s Your Daddy?” (also mugs, ball point pens, and tote bags)
New tee with “POR FIN”
New tee with “The Few - The Slightly Abashed - The Talismaniacs! All for one and one for Alternate Fresno,” designed by Blue Lass
New tee with “The Few, The Proud – The Mighty Bashed, The Slightly Abashed - The Talismaniacs,” modified design by Anita

Cropped leather jacket (à la Lucrazy) with "Talismaniacs Raisin Hell" embroidered on the back

A Multi-colored Amorcito Pear apron for Tracy

Lulu’s red floor-length gown made to look like naughty underwear

The blue off the sleeve dress Camila wore to the wedding; the one she didn't choose after trying them on out shopping with Pedro that day…it was my favorite of the trying on session.

Rita and Rennie’s hand crafted from gently used headbands--short-short-skorts made out of 100% silk (dry clean only) or 100 % cotton

Fine lawn handkerchiefs with MI CHEQUE embroidered on the corner

Large avocado green table napkins with Wait For It, ES MIO stiched in yellow across the middle


Toy Department

Blow-up Glitter Mask Girl doll for Lucas.  Doris is temporarily unavailable

Blow-up Pedro doll for Lucrecia.  Washable, safe for drooling manicomio inmates


Grocery Department

Fresno’s Own Chocolatier™ selling individually, silver foil-wrapped replicas of Beltbuckle's last big meltdown in dark, indio xocoatl.

Holy Guacamole – blessed by the Padre, comes in flash frozen packs.  Defrost, grab some Tostitos from Maria’s kitchen or Ulises stop ‘n shop on LQNPA, dip, scoop and enjoy.

Edible Hats


Cosmetic and Hair Care Products Department

Fresh stock of Insta-Curl, for those desiring the HAIR, or the natural Aaron ‘luke’

Q=Speaking of hair, how about Cam's wedding 'do? That was some massive brioche on her head (attributed to the Cap’n)
A=Suave Products: attaching pastry to women's heads since 1942 (attributed to Blue Lass)

I'm going to go right out and buy some Suave Keratin Infusion Smooth and Shine Feel so I, too, can have el “luke” de Sarita


Special – Today Only

Coupon for The Only Frock ‘n Beauty (& Transplant) Salon™  in Fresno for Camila to get a brain, some pretty clothes and a decent hairdo. She is just plain dull.

Instant wedding kits with overnight delivery; crate includes strapless satin dress, rings, champagne, a selection of elegant foods on trays, flowers, and Suave hair smoother.  Kevlar vests sold separately.


Book, CD and DVD Department

New children’s nighttime story book, "Gregorio’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Slumber Party."

The New Spanish-English Telenovela dictionary, complete with screenshots of important guapos and galanes (and gallinas).

New Hercule Poirot mystery series set in Fresno.  In the first, One Big Yellow Underdog Pig, the famed Hercule arrives in Fresno by air to clear up a great mystery.  He checks into The Only Hotel Inn™ Fresno to take on the case of “What *was* the rivalry between the two great families from El Tal and El Alca” all about.  He rents a car and driver, then makes a courtesy call to El Capitán.  Mais oui, pour bonne chance, Le Capitaine aussi parle français.  The only clues he has are feathers, poison, a giant beltbuckle, some interesting glitter masks, avocado pits and some kinky leather pants.  He goes to see Brigitte at the Ho-House first.  He’s pretty sure she has all the answers.  Regrettablement, on his way to see her he has an accident when his automobile collides with an old turquoise colored Chevy.  While he’s in hospital being treated by Dr. Raúl, he learns that this mis-story was made into a non-award winning Spanish-language telenovela intentionally dumbed down for English-speaking audiences trying desperately to improve their Spanish.  Disappointed, he books a flight on the first plane back to France.  However, before he can leave, Le Capitaine calls him for help on “The Case of the Missing Pants.”  It had been assigned to Hawt Detective, but he’s been transferred to foot patrol.

Downloadable video of Rita and Rennie’s Awesome Crotch Shots (rated PG-13—suitable for the F¹ and F² girls, but not Santiagito)

A complete set of Aaron’s 10 favorite Westerns.  Uncensored shoot ‘em dead in clouds of dust, blood and palpitating heart scenes.  Individual DVD’s also available for rent from Tal*Martflix.

Angel Motivational CDs for listening while driving between Fresno and LA or Tijuana, "How to keep your avocados and your brains while surrounded by lunatics and high-pitched shrieking."


Miscellaneous Department

100% suede boda bag with leather, beaded fringe, tastefully leather-tooled on the front, “Who’s Your Daddy?” The reverse has a blank space for the purchaser to fill in.

Clearance on body bags.  Some clerk made a typo in the order.  It should have been bod-A bags (see above for detailed description of previous order).

Magic Eraser to get those pesky marker lines off your monitor (after you finish the Name Game)

Leftover Peacocks and Peahens.  They breed profusely, so in order to keep the population in check, substitute marble eggs (the hen is too stupid to know the difference, except she can count, so make sure you do before making substitutions*).  Fertilized peacock eggs are not that tasty, but in a pinch, they can be fed to El Piggorio.  *this is true

Fresno Yacht Club Grand Finale Celebration Glassware, from shot glasses to supersize.  If you are lucky, one of them will have an exact duplicate of MI CHEQUE in it, although it has no value.

Slightly used Yacht, for sale by Oscar, who is moving to Montana.

Julia’s Secure Locks, a Best Buy, but hardly ever used appropriately.

Reformulated Luminol—picks up bacon grease stains

New line of sympathy cards by Ufforea™ (what Pedro felt when this was over).  Appropriate for both the dead, the un-dead, the newly dead and the nearly dead cast and crew of El Talismán.
Just in—Por Fin™ anti-plaga spray, guaranteed to cure all those aflicted (Expires, oh, shoot, it expired 6-15-12).

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Abismo de pasión #69 6/18/12: Expectations on the Patio may be a smidge higher tonight

El Refrito
  • Sr. Cat Food and Don Lucio discuss the terms of Fina's loan. The Assgu is Redeemable table sends up a cheer and buys a round when Assgu vows to help Elisa keep those lands.
  • Dam and Elisa discuss the terms of Fina's loan. Dam thinks he and Elisa will get back together, but Elisa won't sacrifice her father to be happy...oh, and then there's the pesky Flor problem. They both end up in the overused (but somehow never old) "we are crying on opposite sides of the door" cliche. 
Lo Nuevo
Take my advice and FF>> Through:
  • The Chismosas at the market and Tonia being rude to Lola. I hope Tonia's boobs blow up in her face.
  • Don Lucio and Don Cat Food at the café: take one.
  • Maru's visit to Padre Lupe (AKA: Don Celestino) BTW: is Maru the hipocorístico of some other name?
Now, down to bidnez...

Don Lucio y Don Cat Food at the Café: Take Two
Don Cat Food cracks a joke about the two of them getting involved in "problemas de faldas"(yuk yuk) Don Cat Food admits to Don Lucio that he has a hankerin' for Kenia. Don Lucio reflects on Assgu's past and how he's always had a weakness for minors. Remember? He even had to wait for Steffie to come of age before they married? Ewwww. Don't we call those pedophiles? Assgu and the "she cheated on me with Rosendo" garbage. (Thanks to Julia I totally understood Don L when he said "otra vez el burro al trigo" again with this crap?) Assgu compares Kenia to a fire you have to burn to get a good harvest. She reawakened his desires and confesses the fire is not out. (Blergh. I threw up a little bit.) Luckily he changes the subject to helping Elisa work her lands and helping her get out from the clutches of Fina Arango.

Dam Grows a Pair (Alernate titles: "SQUEE!" and "Hellz Yeah!")
Dam Pithed comes in and demands to know why mom made Elisa break up with him. Fina plays it cool and Dam tells her he knows everything and she better not dare to deny it. She doesn't and what's more, she most certainly will send Don Cat Food to jail. Dam Determined tells mamá that if she does anything to hurt Don Assgu she can forget she has a son! But she is determined! She says no matter what she is going to keep him from having anything to do with Elisa! But he'll show her! She can't run his life! He leaves and Fina immediately calls Casa Castigo. Carmina answers and Fina demands to talk to Elisa. Carmina and Fina make small talk about the separation chisme, but Cheat-ho says it's false. Elisa comes in and grabs the phone. Fina promises to sink both Assgu and Elisa and hangs up on her. When Elisa gets off the phone, Tía Nosy-ho wants to know what's up. When Elisa tells her to mind her own business, Tía Naranja tells her if it has to do with Assgu, it IS her business and she won't let Elisa's foolishness ruin her chance with Assgu now that things are back to how they were. Elisa tells her to leave her alone. Aw, C'mon! Slap the Orange PITA!!

He's Leaving! (More Squees! and Hellz Yeahs!)
Dam is packing his bags. He's not putting up with mom's crap anymore. He is leaving and doesn't want to have anything to do with her,  the Hacienda or the Pro Ce any more. He is sure of one thing: he's going to live his life on his terms (hmmm, he's starting to sound like a Broadway musical....) Maybe Elisa will never accept him but he isn't going to accept Fina as a mother either.  (A round of drinks on me!!! Huzzah!!!) Fina chases him out and swears that if he leaves he can never come back. He throws down his keys and says he doesn't plan on ever coming back. Oh, and sit down and enjoy this next part: He tells mamá no wonder dad left her. Life with her must have been hell!! THWACK!!!!! Fina slaps Dam. Exit Dam. Fina curses Elisa a thousand times. (¡Maldita! ¡Y mil veces maldita!)

Alejandra Orozco and Óscar Cruz are now featured performers during our theme song while Dam and Elisa make out in the background.

Feral Fina
Flor comes running (what is she wearing? Jean leggings?) wanting to know where Dam Free went with that suitcase. Fina turns to go and Flor follows. Fina bears her fangs and turns on Flor. Flor backs down.

In the habanero fields
Assgu asks Gael to work full time at Elisa's greenhouse. They discuss the ridiculous deal with Fina. Don Assgu is going to sell his lands to pay Fina. Don Assgusto has to help repay Elisa for what she did for him (Another cheer wells up from the Assgu can be Saved Table and high fives are exchanged.) Gael thinks it's a good thing that out of all this mess Don Assgu is willing to help out his daughter. Don Cat food is not going to let the Devil Fina sink his daughter, too. He wants Elisa's first harvest to be of the highest quality and tells Gael to give it his best effort.

Flor tries to get Guido to find out what's going on since he and Fina have always gotten along so well.

Cenote of Lust and Nausea
Dear Caray mates...I made a joke to the husband tonight that he should watch with me. I told him I could just note his reactions and the snark would just write itself. He refused this invitation on the grounds that he would get a little R rated (boobies!! more boobies!!!) I thank all the TN gods that he turned down this invite. Lord knows what he would have said about this scene. 
Assgusto is having dirty thoughts when Kenia comes upon him (with sweaty pits.) She had followed him from the village. They discuss the Dam Misunderstanding. He tells her he is going to give his marriage another try (idiot.) Kenia wants to know why he's staying with a woman who does nothing for him, whom he doesn't love and never loved. He explains she's his wife and Kenia is just a girl. In a "I Dream of Jeannie" editing flash, Kenia takes off her dress and asks Assgu if she has the body of a girl or a woman. Assgu looks...and picks up her dress and covers her. He asks her to get dressed. Yuck. He has old man hands. Manicure, dude. Manicure. (Don't you know those toes are hideous? So thankful for black socks right now.) He starts to walk away.

La Casa Azul (Thank Heaven for CCs)
I was a little distracted at the beginning of this scene. What the heck was Gab doing with that beer bottle? Drowning a bug? Anyhoo. ING comes home and tells Gab she's taken her money out of the bank in Merida and leaving La Ermita. Kenia has ruined everything and she can't hit Fina up for cash anymore. Gab asks about himself. Didn't she care about him? She doesn't want Fina to do something to her. He's got everything under control. ING doesn't want to stay and she doesn't trust Gab. Well, he says, you don't treat HIM like a dog. ING doesn't leave 'til he says she can! He grabs her purse, chokes her and steals her money. He leaves her coughing and sputtering.

Back at the Cenote
Kenia tells Assgu not to refuse her. Assgu says he won't betray her...and Kenia tells him Carmina doesn't deserve him. Assgu explains that he means Steffie. Kenia says he betrayed Steffie by marrying her own sister. Assgu says it's different because Carmina never produced in him feelings like Steffie did...or like Kenia does. Carmina threw away her best years to be married to a man who could only give her bitterness. Kenia says the Assgu she knows isn't like that. She knows the passionate (urp) Assgu who wants to live and love and feel again. But Assgu won't take the risk. Steffie was young when she married him and ended up loving another man. Kenia doesn't want to be compared to his first wife. She loves him! Steffie told him she loved him, too. But she betrayed him and left the village with Rosendo Arango. He leaves Kenia crying on the banks of the Cenote.

Some Bullets

  • Elisa visits Hacienda Arango and argues it's not her fault Dam found out and besides, she still is not back with him. Fina  repeats that she will sink Elisa and her dad.
  • Don Cat Food and Gael talk about making the greenhouses produce and that his workers work there. OH, and he tells Gael he has the hots for his sister. (Ewww.)
  • Kenia goes to Casa Azul for money. She wants to leave. She and ING decide to try and get the money back from Gab at the Pro Ce
  • Elisa forces her way into Hacienda Arango to extract a promise that Fina will leave her dad alone. Fina bellows for Horacio and Braulio to throw her out. Brau is at work and Horacio refuses to throw Elisa out (And the Horacio table goes wild!! Tequila Sunrises for everyone!) He gets fired for his trouble
  • Gael says he always knew Assgu had the hots for Kenia, but he just wants to know: did Assgu take advantage of his sister? Assgu assures him he did not!
  • Don Assgu tells his employees about the sale of the land, but tells them they can work Elisa's land (synchronized cheers from the crowd.)
  • Dam (disguised as Braulio...ok, not really, but the bandana looks like Brau's) visits Tio Lupe and explains Fina's shenanigans. Dam will stay with Lupe for a while. He offhandedly tells Lupe he won't be in charge at the Pro Ce anymore. Lupe tries to tell him not to leave the Pro Ce, but Dam Done Gone.
  • Guido comforts Fina while she blames the Bouviers for everything.
  • ING and Kenia arrive at the Pro Ce and discover that neither Dam, Gab nor Paolo are there (and that ING can forget getting her job back, simply not showing up does not speak well of ING's work ethic.) ING and Kenia are given permission to wait in Gab's office.  
In Gab's office 
They get right to work. Kenia stands guard and ING goes right to the safe.

Commercial break.
When we return it's Sabrina and Doc Tovar, but you know my rule: It's past 11 PM and this is boring. (Sab just tells Doc that mom is trying to be a better person, she even made friends with Carmina Bouvier!!! Cara de Panic from Doc Tovar.) Oh, then we cut to Casa Arango where Begonia has come to call on Fina. Be-gone gossips and Paolo comes up and so does Carmina (but not together) Who cares FF>> (vocab: preñar-to impregnate; compadecer-to feel sorry for)

Finally! Back to the office!
Kenia still stands guard and ING manages to figure out the code on Gab's safe. But drat! No money! Just an old stupid envelope with really old plane tickets (una reliquia-relic.) ING notes it's for Carmina and Kenia remembers Assgu's words about Steffie leaving with Rosendo. Kenia realizes it wasn't Steffie who was leaving with Rosendo, but Carmina! Oh my!

Avances

  • Mark Tacher shirtless. Who cares about the rest?

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Refugio Para el Amor #33-34 Mon 6/18/12 Rod Thinks He’s Don Juan, But Gets a Dear Juan Letter From Luci Instead


Frigida the snitch reports to Gala on the conversation she overheard Hannah have with Rod. Gala throws the phone, with a force and flourish that would make Sergio Sendel proud, after hearing that Rod is desperately seeking Luci.
                                   
In her apartment, Violeta tells Lucia that she understands why Gala would be pissed that Rod dumped her at the altar for another woman. She would feel the same way. It’s enough to drive any woman crazy. In fact, that’s what happened to Sabina La Loca back in Het Het. She was ditched at the altar, and went batty from that moment on. Luci tells Vio that Sabina prophesized that she was going to find her destiny when she left the pueblo. Luci thinks Sabina is plain wrong, because she’s got nothing to do with this town!  Vio says there must be something that Sabina saw that Luci’s just not seeing. Luci tells her about her father’s dying wish that she find Rosa Torres. Vio is ready to help search, but with a name that common, it’s going to be hard. Perhaps it’s a rich relative with an inheritance for her! Luci thinks it might just be best for her to return to the pueblo.

Rod begs Mati over the phone to tell him what happened to Luci. Mati tells him to talk to his mama and to leave Luci in peace! Don’t hurt her anymore. She doesn’t deserve this kind of scorn/contempt (desprecio). Rod assures her this isn’t just some whim (capricho). He’s serious about Luci. Mati finally relents and gives him the phone number for her sister Estella’s house. It’s a good thing Luci didn’t give Mati her new cell phone number; it’d be known to half of Mexico City by now. That was WAY too easy.

Aldo is telling Pato about hacking into the Inferno computers from the club’s office. He wants to do it again. Pato warns him to be very careful. This isn’t a movie; it’s really dangerous. Rosa storms in like a harpy on jet fuel and yells at Pato that Luci is gone, she won’t be allowed to set a foot inside the house again, and Pato needs to just accept it like a man and not make threats about not eating, taking his meds or doing his therapy. Pato starts yelling at her for being so horrible to Luci for no reason. Rosa shouts over him and orders him not to raise his voice to her. SHE’S the one who holds the reins in this house, and no one tells her what to do, not even him. No one is to mention the name Luciana in this house again. She’s dead to them, and the dead are left in peace! She leaves in a whirlwind of her harpy exhaust fumes, and Pato tries to hold back his tears.

Ariche can tell that Luci is not happy (smart kid). He wants her to come back to the pueblo with him. He also wants to know why Marianita isn’t happy. He offers that she can come back to the pueblo with them too, and his mama will take care of her. (Look what I brought home for you mama! Another kid for you to house, clothe, feed and educate!) Luci hugs and cradles her pseudo-son and kisses him.

There’s a meeting happening at Empresas Torreslanda, with Rod on video conference. They discuss an opportunity for the company to host some huge golf tournament at the Miami golf club they’re investing in. Max doesn’t seem super excited about it, but doesn’t shoot it down either. He wants Rod to stay in Miami a while longer to finalize some more deals.

Estella becomes sadder each day that she hasn’t heard from her daughter. Her phone rings, but instead of Ofelia, it’s Rod looking for Luci. Estella takes his number down.

Gala’s cheery, bright colored dress (which I love) does NOT reflect her mood. She can’t concentrate on work, so she leaves everything in her assistant’s hands and leaves the office. Meanwhile, in their apartment, Julie is once again selling an exclusive story about a Torreslanda scandal (this time involving her own daughter) to line her designer pockets.

Aldo calls Vicky to ask her on a date. She uses her father as an excuse again. Her dad doesn’t like her to go out multiple times during the week. Aldo offers to speak to him for her. Seeing as she was talking about her Sugar Daddy, and not her real daddy, she has to do some fast talking to convince Aldo not to speak with Don Jero. Aldo says he’ll call her later to see when’s a good time to come take her out.  She’s still smiling when she hangs up, so she must not be finding it too hard to juggle her sugar daddy and her toy boy.

Oscar gives Max the update on the Claudio situation. Oscar doesn’t believe they’ve found anything that compromises Max, and most of the people who were involved have long gone. As for the witnesses who testified, surely Claudio and his lawyer are ahead of them in tracking them down. Max doesn’t look pleased. And he’s right not to be happy. Across town, Lic. Barrera tells Claudio that he’s found two of the three original witnesses. Let’s speak to them, like now!

Max tells Oscar he needs him at a business dinner that evening. They have to bring the women folk, so Oscar is free to invite someone. He decides to invite Connie. Vicky calls her Mr. Big, and tells him about her jacuzzi dreams that involved him. He’s quite willing to make those dreams reality, but it will have to wait till the weekend. In the meanwhile, he doesn’t want her going out and being unavailable when he calls. Besos! Besos Chiquita! Max’s next call isn’t quite so filled with hearts and flowers. It’s Rosa and he reminds her of the business dinner that night.

Julie and Connie hang in Gala’s apartment. Connie thinks it’s time for everyone to stop making a fuss about the wedding that never was. Julie pretends to agree with her and says from now on, she’s going to butt out of Gala and Rod’s beeswax. Girl Scout’s honor. Yeah, right!  Connie doesn’t look like she believes it either. Connie gets a call from Oscar who invites her to the business dinner. Unfortunately, Connie’s already got plans to go to her daughter Melissa’s presentation. Showing us where Gala’s lack of dignity comes from, Julie invites herself to be Oscar’s date for the evening. She just LOVES business dinners. Neither Connie nor Oscar are very pleased about this, but poor Oscar the gentleman can’t do anything about it.

Luci takes Ariche on a job interview with her. It looks promising. Claudio calls her and tells her he put Lastra in his place. If he keeps bothering her, they’ll take him to court for harassment.  Claudio invites her to accompany him that evening to an event.

Pato is not hungry and even Nana Mati can’t convince him. Mati reminds him how far he’s come and that he must continue. Pato says that he and Luci had plans. He was going to help her finish her high school degree. Mati points out that he can still be in contact with her and call her at her sister’s house. Rosa comes in to bitch at Pato again. Then Max comes in, sees the situation, and demands to speak to Pato, ALONE. Max can’t believe that a Torreslanda is getting so darned depressed over a woman!  Pato says that Max can’t understand. From the prison of his bed, Pato sees things totally differently than Max does. Luciana represented HOPE for him.

Luci gets the message that Rod called from Estella. If he continues to look for her, then she’s just going to have to go back to her pueblo. Almost on cue, there’s a knock at the door and it’s Hannah saying that Rod desperately wants to speak to her.  Across the pond in Miami, Rod’s half dressed (thanks again writers/director), when there’s a knock at his hotel door. She must have some sort of Hot Bod Rod is Shirtless radar, and a private jet, because it’s Gala. She immediately starts climbing all over him like a poisonous vine, and begs him not to reject her. He just shakes his head and looks at her in disbelief. “Qué haces aquí?!”

Hannah offers an apology for her mother’s behavior, on behalf of herself and her brothers.  Luci is adamant that she is NOT going back. Hannah understands, and would do the same in her situation, but her brothers need her.  Luci doesn’t want them to call her and she wants them to forget about her. “How could we forget you?”  Hannah tells Luci she will have to tell Rod herself, to not keep looking for her. She pulls out her phone.

Meanwhile, Gala continues to beg Rod for another chance, and destroy any bit of dignity she might have had left. Rod reminds her that she’s a strong, admirable woman and this is beneath her.  She promises (threatens?) she’ll win him back. For now at least, she just wants to be close to him. He can’t deny her his friendship, can he? (Sure he can! Keep hold of your rocks Rod!)  Rod’s phone rings, and Gala picks it up. I think that’s already crossing over the “friends” line. Hannah is not happy to hear Gala’s voice. This recapper is happy Luci wasn’t the one making the call, but she does clearly hear that Gala is on with Hannah. When he hears Luci’s waiting to talk to him, Rod says he’ll call right back, and leaves Gala alone in his hotel room.

Luci does not want him to call her back. She just wants to be left in peace! And if not, she’ll be forced to return to her pueblo. She has a bit of a meltdown in her frustration with the situation. She tells Hannah she’ll always carry them in her heart. Hannah promises they won’t search for her again, but begs her not to go. She asks Luci to consider her a friend, and however she can help her she will. She tells Luci how much she and Melissa care for her.

Max refuses to listen to Pato’s hopeless talk. Tomorrow Pato will start going a special rehab clinic. He needs his two sons well and by his side.  Especially now that Claudio Linares has declared war.  They need to beat (vencer) him, together!

Fabian and Lorenzo talk about crossing the border to find work. Fabian is thinking of doing it, but Lorenzo tells him not to be stupid. Hannah interrupts to ask how Lorenzo is doing, and they make googly eyes at each other and shake hands for way too long. Hannah asks him to take care of Luci and to not let her return to the pueblo. Lorenzo is in the clouds after she leaves and calls her chula.

Gala searches Rod’s suitcase for incriminating evidence. Not finding anything, she concludes that that estúpida Hannah is playing cupid between Rod and Luci. Meanwhile Hannah reports to estúpido Rod that Gala answering his phone was a major setback.  Luci does not want to speak to him and has threatened to leave town.

Luci cries to Vio that Gala answered Rod’s phone.

In Het Het, Magda and Paz are sure that soon Luci will be able to resolve the properties issue once she has the deeds. They happen upon Procopio, who looks like he’s been run over by a truck—crutches, bandaged leg, black eye, cut lip, and hair askew. Madga tells him that’s what he gets for being a gossipy traitor (metiche y traidor). Magda just laughs at him more when they find out Don Aquiles beat him down.

Rosa’s campaign to control every aspect of her children’s lives continues. This time, Hannah’s under fire. Rosa wants to know where she’s been and with whom. She's not happy to learn it was with Luci. Hannah tells her to knock off insulting Luci. “Luci is out of our house and our lives, forever!”  Well shove it mama, because Luci is the one who never wants to come back here. Rosa can’t believe her kids turned out this way—without dignity and without any clue about the differences between the classes. The Torreslandas asking a servant for forgiveness! (Perish the thought! ) Hannah can’t take any more of this b.s., so she excuses herself. “If this continues, you and I will have problems Hannah!”

Hannah wakes Pato and tells him the bad news about Luci. Pato regrets not being able to do anything. Hannah tells him that Luci especially will never forget him.

Gala reports back to Rosa on her frustrated attempts to guilt Rod back to her. Rosa tells her to keep trying because he’s still in danger (from that man eater Luci). Oh, he WILL come back to Mexico as MY fiancé.

Oscar shows up at the business dinner with Julie on his arm, right after Rosa has told the business prospects’ wives that her sister and Oscar are coming together. (You see what happens when you ass-u-me Rosa?) The men talk business, but the women seem to want to talk gossip. They point out that Rosa and Julie seem to have maintained their frienemy status, despite what went down between their kids. Julie talks up her LONG friendship with Rosa, so long in fact, that she knows Rosa’s many secrets. Rosa looks like she wants to shove that wine glass down Julie’s throat.

Claudio happens to have taken Luci to the human rights talk being given by a brilliant young woman-- Melissa. Luci tells Claudio how she knows Melissa.  After the talk, Luci congratulates Melissa. Now that Luci doesn’t work for the Torreslandas, Melissa wants her to drop calling her Usted and señorita. She asks how Luci knows Linares. Luci reminds her of that legal trouble she had, and that Linares has been her angel in the whole affair. Melissa is glad. She’s read many good things about him. Hannah brings Melissa a drink and is also happy to see Luci. On the other side of the room, Connie chats with Claudio and they exchange business cards. He congratulates her on having such a brilliant daughter and then congratulates Melissa herself. After Luci and Claudio leave, Connie asks the girls how Luci knows Claudio. Melissa is more curious to know how her mother knows Claudio. “It’s a very long story.”

Rod calls Estella’s phone, AGAIN, looking for Luci. Luci comes home just then and looks at the phone like it’s a poisonous snake when Estella says who’s on the line, but she takes the phone. She says they have nothing to talk about, but he begs her to listen. He only wants to tell her that he loves her, wants to see her, and that she means so much to him. Luci tells him he has no right to play with her feelings. “Luciana, I’m in love with you.” He begs her to let him speak to her when he gets back from Miami, then asks her not to call him Joven any more, just plain Rodrigo. She agrees to both, but tells herself it’s impossible for them to be together when the call ends.

Rosa’s bitching at Max for brining the ladies along on the business dinner meeting as if they’re arm candy. She was particularly bugged by Julie’s presence. But she knows Max likes that kind of flashy woman who attracts attention.  Max wants to know what the hell her problem is. Rosa says all men are the same and points to Oscar who is apparently dating both Connie and Julie. Max doesn’t get it, but you know what they say—You don’t try to understand women, you just love them. The meeting must have gone well, because he’s in a REALLY good mood. He hugs her and asks her not to be mad, then invites her up to bed. When she brushes him off (she can’t even bring her stiff arms up into a hug), he gives her one of his eye rolls.

Gala’s march down Pathetic Lane continues. She’s wearing a salmon colored rubber band dress and knocks on Rod’s door to ask him out to dinner. When he refuses, she brings up the friendship card again. After all, they were friends before they became novios. She’ll wait for him in the café for breakfast tomorrow morning. Once outside his door, she swears she will make him pay for each humiliation. (Girlfriend, you are humiliating yourself. Rod’s got nothing to do with that.)

Mati and Frigida are feeling the loss of Luci with the extra work. They’ll get an agency to find a maid for them this time. They report to Rosa that some annoying woman, Nellie, called to invite her to her birthday party, and Pato is already asleep. Upstairs, Max checks in on Pato and tucks him in a bit more before giving him a kiss. (How can such a bad person be such a good dad?)

Vicky’s daddy (the real one this time) is suspicious of Vicky’s story of going to a friend’s house, again. She hustles out the door and into Aldo’s car and has him drive off quickly. Don Jero comes out shaking his head, but it’s not clear if he saw who was driving the car.

Over some delicious looking soft tacos, Connie has just told the girls the story of Claudio Linares. Melissa’s worried, considering he’s sworn to get revenge/justice against her uncle.  She hopes he’s able to prove his innocence. Connie explains that Claudio and Max were best friends in college and law school. Hannah wants to know how could her dad accuse his best friend of fraud?  (See answer below.)

Oscar has headed back to the office and calls Max to give him an update on the Claudio case. Max tells Oscar that he doesn’t have friends. (BINGO!) He wants Oscar to make sure the judge of the case doesn’t talk to Claudio. Oscar doesn’t think this judge is very trustworthy, as he has a dirty record. The day after tomorrow, they’ll tell him when they can meet with the judge.  

Connie explains that she was overseas with her husband and kids when the whole thing went down, so she doesn’t know the whole story. Connie explains how sad the whole thing was and how long Linares spent in jail, and now he’s reopened the case to clear his name. Hannah wonders, if it wasn’t him who did the fraud, then who was it? (Oh, Hannah. You have so much to learn about your papa.) Melissa explains how respected Linares is in academia. Hannah points out what a weird coincidence it is that Luci knows him. Connie doesn’t think it’s so odd that Linares would be drawn to Luci, since she looks so much like his dead wife. Connie tells them about the baby girl, but claims she doesn’t know what happened to her. She would be 19 now. Hmmm…

Claudio speaks to a picture of Aurora about what their daughter would be like now. She would be like Luci or Hannah. Actually, had things stayed the same, their daughter and Hannah would be friends, like Luci and Hannah.

Hannah and Melissa think Linares’ story is so sad. Connie makes them promise not to speak about this with anyone. Max and Rosa are really on edge about Claudio and the reopened case.

Max sends Vicky a quick text message from bed, while Rosa heads to the bathroom. Vicky cheerily shuts her phone down when she see the message. She and Aldo are once again at Inferno. Aldo is playing the big shot impresario and pumping Polo for info. Ivan brings him and Vicky back to the VIP gambling rooms. Ivan seems pretty confident that they’ll get money out of this rich boy. As soon as Ivan leaves, Aldo leave Vicky gambling at the tables to try to get into the office again. This time the door is locked and Ivan is right behind him. Aldo covers by saying he was just trying to find the bathroom. Ivan doesn’t look like he’s buying that story for one second. He checks to make sure the office door is secure.

Max tries to get frisky. He wants to make love to his woman. Rosa says not be ridiculous and rejects him. Max tells her she should pray for herself in all her prayers.

Rod gives in and actually has breakfast with Gala. He continues the stupidity by telling her he’s in a rush to get back to Mexico that day in order to meet up with Luci. Then he excuses himself to the little boy’s room. Gala immediately calls Rosa to tattle on Rod and Luci.

Gabriel comes to take Pato to therapy, since Rod isn’t there. They need Pato in the office. He can’t let them down. Pato continues to be bratty and says he’s useless. Gabriel wants to get to the real issue.  He asks if Pato’s in love with Luci too.

Marianita tells Ariche how sad she is because she misses her mama. Ariche tells her that her mother will return very soon, because mothers can’t be far from their kids. Plus, Ariche plans to come visit Marianita and Luci during all his vacations. Fabian and Ariche get ready to go back to Chihuahua. Fabian announces that after returning home, he’s crossing the border! Estella asks him to contact her daughter for her and he agrees. The temperature in Estella’s home goes down 20 degrees when Ice Queen Rosa shows up.

Rosa demands to speak to Luci alone. She prohibits Luci from seeing her kids. (You’ve got to be kidding me!) Luci tells her she’s not in her house anymore, so she doesn’t know what hell she’s going on about. Rosa demands that she not seek out her kids. Luci’s had enough of this b.s. She has her principals and DIGNITY!  She won’t let Rosa insult her. Go order her kids to not seek her out, not her.  Rosa tries to force money on her (her back pay plus more) as an incentive for Luci to make herself scarce. Luci rejects it and tells her to take her damn money and leave. Adios Señora! Luci opens the door and shows her out, but Rosa must have the last word. She drops the money on the table and rushes out. Luci is royally ticked off.

Gabriel wants to know what’s keeping Pato from going to see Luci if he really wants to. He’s the only one stopping himself from getting better and getting Luciana. Pato thinks about this.

In Het Het, Paz is finally free of the cast and sling. Magda warns her to take things slow. No rush to get back to work. Paz thanks her for being such a good friend.

Luci is wondering why Rosa hates her so much. Violeta comes in and is shocked Rosa came all the way there. Vio says those people have no right to try to make her life miserable. The two kiddies rush in to lighten the mood. Marianita finds the envelope of cash and Estella opens it up. She and Vio are shocked by how much money it is. A fortune! Luci still doesn’t want it. That woman can rot in hell, with her money! She asks Estella to guard the money to return to Mati, and then leaves with the kids.  Vio tries to talk her out of ditching the cash.

Vicky is on the phone with her Sugar Daddy, while giving a manicure. She misses him so much. She went to bed early last night, that’s why she didn’t get his text message.  (Uh huh.) He misses her too. They’ll see each other this weekend. Just then, Toy Boy Aldo comes into the salon to visit his girl. Vicky talks fast to get Max off the phone. Just in the nick of time, because Aldo is right behind her. He very sweetly tells her that he can’t take her out that night, since he got in trouble for coming home so late with the car. She got in trouble with her dad too. Aldo asks, how about they go out this weekend? Uhm…Vicky says they’ll talk later. She’s all smiles when he leaves, but her boss gives her a hard look. She knows Vicky is playing a dangerous game.

Oscar reports that the judge will meet with him tomorrow. “Excellent. If he wants money, negotiate with him.”  They talk business. There’s a Canadian, Micha Luis Carmacho, Max wants Rod to meet with in Miami. Max is going to pick Pato up from therapy and return home with him to eat.

In Miami, Rod meets with the gringos with the bad accents. Max calls him to demand that he meet with the Canadian that evening. He doesn’t care that Rod needs to return to Mexico that night for something important.

Violeta convinces Luci to get all dolled up for her date with Rod that night. Luci worries that he’ll be a no show. Vio doesn’t think so. She thinks Luci should live her life and fight for her love.  Luci doesn’t look so sure. They have so much going against them. What if he isn’t serious and just making a fool of her? (burlar de mi)

Rod calls Estella again with a message for Luci.

Rosa tells Connie that she gave Luci lots of money to leave her kids alone and leave forever. Connie is livid. Why won’t she leave that girl alone?! None of this is her fault! Julie interrupts their argument to bring them the hot off the presses chimes (that SHE sold to the press). The front page article says that Rod didn’t get married because he has some mysterious, contagious disease, and loved Gala too much to expose her to it. LOL! Julie tries to look perfectly innocent as she reads them more of the article. Violeta is reading the same magazine and Luci starts reading over her shoulder. Rosa loses it. She blames Gala for not being able to control the press. In Miami, Gala is looking at an article about their failed wedding on her Ipad. She puts it away when Rod comes back to the table. Both of them say they don’t care about the gossip. Gala’s determined to travel with Rod whenever he leaves- today, tomorrow, whatever.

The deeds have arrived, along with Luci’s birth certificate, making Luci happy that she can resolve the property issue and finish her high school exams. Mati also gives her Rod’s message that he can no longer make it back to Mexico that evening, and must reschedule for tomorrow. Luci is crushed.

Later that evening, she’s telling Vio she’s sure about what she’s going to do. This is her reality. She can’t hide from it. Vio says she has her support. Luci prepares to write a letter.  She remembers Rod’s kisses and cries.

Fabian, Ariche and Luci prepare to go back to Chihuaha. The kids cry as they part. Fabian has taken Estella’s daughter’s info and promises to look for her. Luci thanks Estella for all she did for her and hugs her.

Gala and Rod return to D.F. in a private jet. She’s wearing a super sexy, black and white striped dress (Jessica C. has always had great gams), but it’s not enough to convince Rod to share a car back into the city with her. He asks the pilot to get her in a cab/car. Ha, ha!

Rod arrives at Estella’s just in time to hear that Luci left town and left him a Dear Juan letter. He drives to the park where Luci ground his rocks into sand when she told him off, and reads the letter.
“You changed my life, from that afternoon when I first met you. And things haven’t been the same since. I fell in love with you. I love you and I want to shout it out forever to the world. I love you with all that I am, with the force of my being. But you and I are from opposite worlds. Our love can never be. When you read this letter, I’ll be far away. And I’ll stay far away, forever. Don’t look for me. Forget about me. And thank you. Thank you for making me feel what I have never felt before. –Luciana”  

Rod cries into the crumpled letter.

Avances: Rod tells everyone in the family, including a shocked Rosa, that he’s going to fight for Luciana’s love, no matter what, or who, gets in the way. Then he goes to find Luci in Chihuaha. 

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Amorcito Corazón Discussion #14-23 June 18-22

Slap dash recap of the first hour (*le sigh*)
Part I
Either my DVR can't tell time or Looneyvision has struck again because my recording started right off with Juancho and Willy in the Pinzón living room. What happened to where we left off Friday? Isa was beating on Fernie's car window. Oh well.
  • So Isa shows up and picks up Marilechuga from school. The Mother Superior gets snippy. Marilechuga tells her Isa is her friend and neighbor so *nyah*
  • New character alert! Duqueque (sp?) A cute little chamaco who's mom abandoned him (?) I kind of missed most of his history. Help anyone?
  • Beba's son continues to give her a hard time about Willy.
  • There's an impromptu birthday costume party for Marilechuga. Lucía gets the sexy cat woman suit...meow!
Part II
  • Horty forgot Marilechuga's birthday. Ha! Panic to get a great present, cake yada yada.
  • Dad takes Marilu out for a dinner fit for a princess. It is so darn sweet!!!! Truly a must-see. And it's awesome when Horty interrupts to tell her to come home and get all her gifts and the girl TELLS HER NO! heh heh.
Part III
  • Isa talks with Zoe about taking care of mom when she's discharged from the home.
  • Álvaro tells Zoe the NEED to stay married. Some very conservative muckity mucks want him for some high paying position in the company (lord high overseer of Latin America?) Gringos are somehow involved. 
  • Beba wonders if Horty wants Manuela (Sofía's twin/ex-SIL of Fernie) to marry Fernie. Horty says no way.
  • After the princess dinner, Marilechuga insists that they go see Isa to give her a rose from her b'day bouquet.
Part IV
  • Horty soliloquy-s to pics of her daughters Manuela and Sofia. They are so different despite looking so similar. Manuela apparently changed even more after her sister's death and Horty feels like she lost both of them the day Sofía died.
  •  Lucía thinks about Willy and vice versa.
  • Fernie and Isa both have weird nightmares about marrying Doris/Poncho respectively. Marilechuga the hada waves her magic wand and Fernie and Isa end up together at the altar. Then there is a weird Fernie as Lobo, Isa as hunter thing. Meh. FF>>
  • Poncho serenades Isa at her car. He's terrible, but it's funny.
  • Mother Superior overhears Marisol telling Barbara about Lucia wearing the sexy cat suit.
There was plenty of other stuff I missed, I'm sure. I was flying through my recording. I'll post some second hour happenings in the comments.

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