Caray, Caray!

From before: Pat is questioning Alicia about the photo of him as a kid, which is missing from its normal spot. Alicia says to ask the maid. Pat says wasn’t your mother here? Alicia says you’re nuts, I’m going to exercise. As she leaves, Pat says to himself, “it was Gregoria” (Suegrita)

In the antro, Charly and Lucía are happy after their first kiss. They think they might be novios, but quickly realize they have to leave, ‘cause it’s late. They run out. And about this time, Santiago is stumbing around in the darkness of Lucía and Rocío’s room. Sleeping Rocío swings her arm and almost hits him. He goes over to the bunched up covers of Lucía’s bed, and she’s not in it!

Now, the new stuff.

Meño and Candy are drying dishes. Meño explains that Pat showed him the photo, and Meño didn’t give anything away, BUT Pat saw a lot of things in Meño and Candy’s place, and Pat’s not going to let it drop. Meño asks Candy why she’s chatting with Pat (online). Candy says she wants to protect Chava. She has to maintain distance from Pat. Meño shows her with his hands, that the distance is getting smaller and smaller. The time has come to tell the truth, that you’re alive, Chava is his son, etc. That’s what you do, and “away with the pain” (his famous line, fuera dolor). I don’t think Candy’s convinced.

Lucía sneaks into her room, glad nobody noticed she left. So thinks Rocío looks cute (until sleeping Rocío swings her arm and almost conks her). Lucía is dying of sleepiness, but there’s her little bed. And out jumps Santi! He starts giving Lucía the third degree for sneaking out, going to the nightclub. Rocío keeps making noises in her sleep, but Santi keeps shushing her. Lucía says it was worth it. This doesn’t make Santi any happier. He’d die if something happened to her. Lucía says please forgive me, I’m sorry. Santi says promise me you won’t do it again. Lucía says please don’t prohibit me from doing things that make me happy, but I will promise not to do anything I’ll regret later. Santi’s okay with this. But he can’t see how she can sleep with all the noise Rocío makes.

At the breakfast table at Santi’s, Isabel fires Donato again. Santi unfires him. Santi wants to know about Isabel’s male friend, and is still upset that his mother has a boyfriend. She says he’s not my novio, we’re just friends. Santiago thinks Isabel should only have women friends. Lucía thinks it’s unfair that Abuela can have a novio, but she has people checking her computer, and not letting her go to an antro. Rocío wants to know what an antro is.

In a restaurant, Candy sits down at Santi’s table. He was going to meet Marissa and explain what Marissa overheard the other day (when Candy reminded him of all the advances he’s made to her). Candy say’s it’ll be breakfast for three.

Pat shows the picture to Suegrita. This picture is of me, right? Yes. Step two, why did you rob it, and why did I find it in your brother-in-law’s (Meño’s) house?

At the restaurant, Mari shows up. Candy and she embrace, to the chagrin of Santi. Mari then says if the two of you are together, I’m fine, I’ll leave, no problem. Candy tries to stop her, but Mari says to Candy, no more games, be sincere. Do you love him? Yes, I love him, says Candy.

Meño is shaving, and Chava has lathered himself up, too, and is copying his tio abuelo. He asks why can’t the little dog make pipi in the bathroom like Chava. Because he has to go outside, says Meño. But I’m little and he’s little, says Chava. He asks the dog if he wants them to take him out to the street to make pipi, then asks Meño if he (Chava) missed any spots with the shaving. (I remember a scene like this with my own son, who now has a full beard.)

It’s a little tense in the restaurant, since Candy said she loved Santi. All three are grabbing croissants, but not really eating them. All three are sputtering, until Candy says, sure I love him (Santi), because he a nice boy, in fact he’s a classic chameleon macho. What’s that? Candy says she had the idea, and she’ll explain it to Marissa at the Institute. Her idea is to have a “machogram” or maybe a macho meter, to identify the various types of macho guys. Candy leaves, and Marissa tells Santi if you want a sincere, adult relation, just tell me. She leaves, and Santi is left dumbfounded, asking the waiter why the restaurant is empty, and bring me some juice.

While Alicia stretches, Pat shows the picture to Suegrita, and Alicia says, yeah, why was the picture in Meño’s house? Pat says, tell the truth this time, Suegrita, wouldn’t that be sexy? (Pat sure is pompous). Suegrita says well, there’s a kid there who could almost be your son, he looks just like you (Pat) as a child. Pat says it’s true, my son is friends with another boy who is Meño’s adopted son. Hmmmm.

Mari enters Candy’s office, and Candy asks how the breakfast ended. Mari’s not sure. Mari asks Candy if she loves Santi. Candy admits she does, but she loves herself more. She keeps telling Santi to leave her alone, but he doesn’t pay attention to her pleas. Well, then maybe he loves you, says Mari. No, says Candy, he’s your novio, and I think he’s just like all men, trying to get as many girls in bed before the wedding. Candy doesn’t want to hurt Mari, and really wants to be her friend. They hug. Then Candy starts telling Mari about the machogram. For he column, she’s classifying all males as different types of macho men. And Mari’s novio is a chameleon macho, the biggest liar of them all. All females look good to this breed of macho. To unmask him, all one needs to do is say I’ll only go to bed with you if you marry me. He’ll go running for the nearest exit. Mari’s laughing, but she asks Candy, should I laugh, or should I cry?

Santi and Ed are about to do an operation on a sleeping female patient, but they’re more interested in talking about things. Santi tells Ed that Candy called him a chameleon macho, and he has no idea what that is. But the worst was that Mari wants to split with him. No way could that happen, there would be legal problems, because Santi and Mari have stock together, they’re partners, and what’s more, women don’t break up with me, I break up with them! The two nurses groan. Santi says you girls be quiet, in the operating room you should be just like men and just agree with everything. Ed says, but you do ask their opinions, no? Santi says I don’t care, women don’t break up with me, I break up with them, and I’m gonna break up with Candi. Yes, I’m starting to take control right now. Okay (to the nurse), give me a scalpel, put on some rock-pop music like Jesse y Joy, and we’ll do the operation. The song Espacio Sideral by Jesse y Joy (who also sing the Tontas theme song) begins.

Candy is helping Victoria pick out clothes for Vicki’s new image (Candy is the image consultant of the Institute now). Vicki wants a white top, but Candy thinks dark would look better. Vicki’s phone rings and it’s Santi, who says why haven’t you called about your preop tests? Don’t you want to look great? Vicki says I’m super busy, but I can’t wait for the results. Bye. Candy says why didn’t you tell him the truth? Vicki says I should have, but you know, he’s so handsome, and that gaze of his (mirada), is so, you know? Candy says, yes, I know. But let’s go find that black top.

The 3 kids, dressed nicely (school uniforms), are talking on a bench. Chava says he told his mom he wants a dad, but not as her novio. He asks Beto, do you want Patricio as your Papa? Beto says my Dad is in California, and I’m going to find him. Rocío says, is that far away? Yes, very far. Chava asks, is it farther than the Chivas’ stadium? No, I don’t think that far, says Beto. Do you have the money to go, and are you going to miss school? Beto says I’m saving up, and I’m not going to miss school . I’ll just go tomorrow after class!

Isabel is telling Santi that Lucía’s not even 15 but already is responsible. Santi says don’t praise her, she just snuck out last night. Isabel says our little girl is in love! What? says Santi. But I’ll talk to her, says Isabel. Santi says well I was going to, and I know I should, but, but… Isabel says don’t worry, I’ll talk to her. Santi says okay, but please, none of that peace and love, free love, hippy sixties stuff, you know? Isabel laughs.

Chava and Beto run out of school and are greeted by Pat. Chava says we want some coins. Why? To go find Beto’s Dad. Meño shows up, grabs Chava. Pat wants to talk about the photo, but Meño says he’s in a hurry, and Pat leaves. Chava says he said I was your son, but that’s wrong. Meño says sometimes I say that, but we have to go now.

Ed and Santi are talking while Ed’s putting lots of sugar in Santi’s coffee. Santi says, remember that chubby patient with a virtual novio? She didn’t show up. He has a bad premonition. Ed says it’s not the first patient who left at the last minute, things are fine. Santi says I feel something is starting, like the start of the diabetes you’re gonna get with all that sugar in the coffee. Remember Candi said she was robbing our patients to turn into her clients? I think she’s actually doing it. Ed says all you talk about is Candy, don’t worry so much. He gives the coffee to Santi, who almost chokes on it, from way too much sugar.

It’s time for the Isabel-Lucía talk. Lucía is looking at her computer, saying Wow! Isabel rushes in, and says stop looking at porn! However, it was just a computer screen with Charly Charly Charly written all over it. So they have a talk. Isabel says, you may not believe it, but when I was your age, love had the same feeling as you have now. So tell me the details! We kissed, gushes Lucía. That’s beautiful, says Isabel and hugs her. Lucía says she can’t stop thinking about Charly. Who’s Charly? asks Isabel. Well, I met him at the hamburger stand, and actually I don’t really know much about him. Isabel says you should find out if he’s from a good family, that’s important. Isabel says, I’m not talking about a family with money, but a family that is sensitive, compassionate, humane.

Meño says to Chava, California is way far away, much farther than the Chivas’ stadium, in fact it’s in another country, the United States. So, says Chava, I guess Beto will have to miss a day of school. No, Chava, little boys can’t go to other countries without their parents. But Beto wants to find his real father, says Chava. Meño says, well, Patricio is Beto’s real father. No, says Chava, Beto just wants Patricio to be a friend.

Santi is spying now on Candy at the Institute, hiding behind a screen or room divider. Vicki is the center of attention, dressed in her new outfit, picked out by Candy. All the women (and Meño) are oohing and aahing. Vicki doesn’t want to go on her date with the virtual novio alone, she needs support. Candy says, well the novio doesn’t know us, we can all go to the restaurant with you, and be there watching without his knowledge. You see how the Institute supports its clients? My patient, interjects Santi, halfway tripping over the screen. Because Victoria Garza is my patient, and you certainly look beautiful today, Victoria, he says, gallantly kissing her hand. But what are you doing here? Candy says I told you I was going to take your clients. Patients! Says Santi. Now, Victoria does look nice, you’ve done a good job. But you can’t deny that surgery would do a more substantial change. Candy says but only the physical would change. Vicky says she feels good. She never would have thought it, but the Institute worked! Santi realizes he’s outnumbered, and leaves (sneakily grabbing a magazine or brochure on the way out).

Lucía and her three amigas want to talk to Isabel, but Donato stops them (since Isabel is with Jaime). We see Isabel rehearsing a song in English with Jaime on the piano..

In the restaurant, all the women have come to support Vicki at her date with the virtual novio. No one seems to match the photo (of Sebastian Rulli). They see a chubby, nerdy guy with a flower, sitting by himself, and decide he’s the one. But they have to warn Vicky. Candy calls Vicky on the cell phone, and says, would it matter if your novio was not as handsome as Sebastian Rulli? Well, says Vicki, it would bother me a little, since I don’t like being fooled. But I myself am not really super beautiful, I’m just charming or enchanting, so I’ll give it a shot. Okay, says Candy, pointing to the chubby guy. Say hello to your virtual novio, who looks a little bashful (penosito), no? Vicki hesitates, but with gestures of encouragement from the group, strides up to Ignacio and confidently sits down. He’s apologetic about the photo. Well, then show me you’re as nice as the guy who wrote to me online. He extends his flower, but it flops over. He says it was pretty when he bought it, but in his nervousness the flower sort of wilted. But the truth is, he says, that the flower is nothing (indigno-unworthy) compared to your beauty. Vicky takes the flower and says you ARE charming, my ex virtual novio. High fives at the ladies’ table.

Santi’s telling Ed he’s mad about the Vicky thing. He’s miffed that they’re actually succeeding in stealng his patients. Ed says well, did they really make the girl prettier? Santi says well, she was still a bit ugly, but she looked beautiful, he can’t explain it. Bell rings and Marissa and Chayo enter. They’re really happy, especially since they had the success with Vicki, who found her “gordito”. Ah, says Santi, he was fat, so he fooled her. Everyone lies on the internet. Yes, say the girls, but thanks to our Institute, they found love anyway. Mari tells the score: Institute One, Clinic, Zero. Santi says we lost a battle, but not the war. We’re going to be strong. Rocks, boulders. Calm down, says Ed. Rocks, says Santi.

The teenage girls and Lucía want to talk with Isabel. She cracks the door. They want her help with the Sixties party, which is for the orphan children. Isabel assures them she has not forgotten about it at all, and promises it will be a deluxe party (fiesta de lujo).

Soledad opens the door and is impactada to see that it’s Jorge. I came to see my son, he says.

Pat shows the money to Alicia she had given to Soledad (which she gave back to Pat). Pat is mad and warns Alicia not to try to make Soledad leave.

In the park, Beto and Chava are playing soccer when they see Jorge. Beto runs to him, joyfully hugging him, yelling “Papá!”.

Soledad visits Candy, and they go into Candy’s bedroom, where no one can hear them. I have two things to talk about, says Soledad. First, Jorge came back. Candy says he couldn’t live without you. No, he came back for Beto. Now Beto has two Dads. And secondly, I have a question, says Soledad. I know you said not to tell Pat about you, but he showed me this photo, and what’s up with that. Okay, I’ll tell you the truth, says Candy. I was married to Pat. Chava is his son. So your son and my son are brothers.

After the commercial, Soledad says, so they’re half brothers? No, all that half this and half that bothers me, they’re just brothers, says Candy. Soledad says they should be told. No way, Pat would find out, and he can’t. Why? Because for him, and for my sister, I’m dead. What? Well, I made them believe I’m dead, and now Pat can’t find out, or he could take away Chava. Faking your death is a serious crime, what would the judge think? I even faked the death certificate, there were some ashes…. Just swear to me you won't tell Patricio! Okay, okay, I swear I won’t tell him, says Soledad. But isn’t it too bad the boys can’t know this wonderful thing, that they’re brothers? Brothers!

Jorge tells Beto, I’m your Dad, not the guy who was with your mother before I married her. I know, says Beto, you’re my Dad. Chava says Beto was going to find him, but kids can’t find parents who are lost. I wasn’t lost, says Jorge, just on a trip, and now I’m back. So are you going to live with us now, asks Beto? Jorge hugs him, but doesn’t answer, fighting back tears.

The girls are talking with Isabel. She tells them they have to agree to one thing. The girls say okay, but only if your handsome son comes to the party. Isabel will work on that, but here’s the condition: The fiesta has to have a slogan and a theme (un lema y un tema). The theme will be Peace and Love. If we’re going to have a 60’s party, we have to use the philosophy of the sixties. Rejection of war, harmony with nature. Happiness, respect, kindness. The girls think this is fantastic. And if there’s any fighting, I leave, says Isabel. No problem, says Lucía, the fiesta will be Peace and Love. They all start chanting “peace and love”, dancing sixties dances and flashing the two-fingered peace sign.

Alicia is mad at Pat. She asks Pat if he understands why she gave Soledad the money. Sure, to make her leave. But that’s not all, says Alicia. She’s afraid of losing Pat. She lost her sister. She lost her father. She has a family with Pat. Okay, I understand, says Pat (slightly moved, but not too much). And, adds Alicia, who is Rojiblanca! Oh, you were spying on me. You didn’t answer my question, says Ali. He doesn’t answer her, just acts outraged that she doesn’t trust him, her jealousy is incredible. He walks out. She frowns.

Santi asks Isabel if she’s joking. No, I want you to resurrect (desempolver, which is funny since polvo is dust, so it’s sort of undusting) your old rock group. Mineral water, madame, asks Donato? No thanks, says Isabel. No, says, Donato, that was the name of the group, Agua Mineral. Oh. What song would they sing? Donato says, “so many guests and so few tacos”. Isabel says no tacos at the party, it’s vegetarian. No, says Santi, that was the name of the SONG Ed and I composed long ago! But I can’t sing anymore, that was years ago. Would you do it for Lucía? Well, did she ask? No, but she’d like it, and won’t you do it for me? Well, Santi says I can’t do it now, I’m a great plastic surgeon, and not a rock singer, blah, blah, blah to commercial.

Jorge is yelling at Soledad. Why did you let that man in the house? He’s Beto’s father. But I’m his father, says Jorge. Who fed him? Who taught him fútbol? Chava and Beto overhear, and Soledad tells them to go to their room. Chava says we have to go so they can have an argument. The kids leave. What was I supposed to do?, asks Soledad. Wait for you forever, beg you to come back? You left us alone. The doorbell rings. Jorge knows who it is. He opens the door, it’s Pat, and Jorge punches him. Please leave says Soledad. I’ll go out of respect for a lady, says Pat.

Zamora is giving Toño love lessons, so Toño can woo Candy (right!). He’s going to teach Toño about the first kiss. Toño wants to go to the bathroom, but Zamora tells him to bear it like a man. Professor Zamora needs an assistant. Fortunately, there’s a girl right there (named Alma), and Zamora asks if she’ll volunteer for the lesson. She agrees. He gallantly encircles her waist, tilts her back, and plants a big deep kiss on her, to the fascination of Toño. Zamora then suavely hustles the lady into the back room, singing a love song (with a pretty good voice), and motioning for Toño that he can’t see this part of the lesson. As they leave, Toño muses that teachers have all the luck.

Candy is talking to Lulu, wondering why Santi hasn’t called. Lulu thought Candy didn’t want to talk about Santi anyway. Candy says, well, she just wants to stay informed. And by the way, about the picture Candy took of Lulu….Lulu asks if she’s going to be famous in a magazine. Well, not exactly. Candy explains she sent it to her ex, Patricio, and called herself Rojiblanca. Who’s Rojiblanca? You, Lulu, and you’re going to meet with Patricio, she says with her mischievous smile..

Bárbara sees Cecelia put a flower on Candy’s desk AGAIN.

Ed comes to Santi’s house, and asks Donato where Santi is, since his phone is off. Donato says maybe buying a new electric guitar, since he threw out the old one years ago. But why? asks Ed. Well, he’s going to reform your old group, Agua Mineral, and you guys are going to play at a sixties party being organized by Señora Isabel. Ed looks intrigued.

Bárbara has followed Cece into the ladies room, and is grinning from ear to ear. Cece asks what’s up, and Bárbara says, I saw you putting the flower on Candy’s desk. Cece’s a little mad about this. (I was just thinking, that Bárbara is supposed to have been divorced two times, according to the synopsis. I don’t think Cece is ever going to get anywhere with Candy, but could Bárbara also be secretly bi?).

Isabel is having tea with Marissa in Mari’s apartment. Mari wonders why Santi hasn’t called. Isabel thought they broke up. Well, not really, says Mari. Mari says I know you think that Santi isn’t the man for me. Isabel says, no, actually, this may hurt, but I don’t think you’re the woman for my son. He needs a wife, a mother for his children, someone to light the flames of passion. And you’re not that woman. What do you mean, I don’t light the flames of passion for Santi, asks Marissa. Well, has he called? No, says Mari. If I were you, adds Isabel, I’d be asking myself why.

End of episode.

Previews: Candy returns a big bunch of flowers to Santi. But he says I didn’t send them. I’m not sending you anything. And in another scene, he brings flowers, and Candy thinks they’re for her, but they’re for Marissa. Is Santiago using some psychology here?

Labels: Tontas