Caray, Caray!

We join M&M in Mao's manse. Moni is reassured by Mao that Coni is off at the dentista's office getting the damage to her pearly whites repaired. Of course she has the best most efficient dentist in all of DF if not the entire world. You and I would still be thumbing through a two month old Newsweek while our dentist is taking his own sweet time boffing his dental assistant or whatever it is those guys do between patients. In any event Coni is lurking nearby observing this pitiful display. She seethes and almost steps out, but thinks better of it... They whine to each other, oh poor us, the evil Coni has won. Moni moans that they'll never get to be together. Mao vows that he'll find a way to stay in touch. Oh grow up you two! Next!

Mercifully for us Coni has heard enough and intervenes. Actually, Moni is on the brink of spilling the soup about Coni and Beto and Coni would just as soon that this revelation be deferred to another time...like never. She leaps out of her lurk and orders Monita to leave. Mao points out that the prenup doesn't go into effect until they are actually nuptialized. Moni says that she was about to leave anyway, but they do risk an adiós kiss. Take that Coni! Moni leaves on her terms as Mao tries to make himself scarce with Coni shouting threats at his back, "Monita is prohibited to set foot in this house!"Wooo! She then follows Moni down the stairs shouting insults, "Notice how all your men end up with me?" and threats, "In language you will understand, "Tengo el sartén por el mano (I've got the skillet by the handle... shout out to Emilia... I've got the upper hand)." Wooo! Moni wheels and lashys down insults,"They view you as meat," and threats of her own. She knows all about Coni and Beto. If Coni hurts Mao, well, she'll be hearing from Moni. If Coni doesn't want to get married wearing false teeth (dentaduras postizas), she won't mess with her. Wooo!

At Grupo Sermaño, Loriloca is worried about Sal, who is twitching like a poisoned pup. Oh, that's right, he is. She has noticed that things aren't working out between he and Gabi as he had hoped. I'll bet. She still is concerned about him. The drug has nurtured his innate paranoid predilection and he wonders if Gabi might be listening at the door. Will someone please pay attention and get this man to a Dr.? She checks. Nope. She adds that in contrast to Gabi, clearly a dope, she likes his new hip look. She is sorry she let him go. He twitches an incomprehensible response.

Meintras tanto, Gabi is sharing her concerns about the drastic change in Sal with Paula. "He looks ridiculous, shameful."Paula observes that it is certainly his love for Gabi that is driving this. The tight jeans show off his nice pompis. Who knew? "Hey, hey, those are my pompis!" Regardless, Gabi loves him so much and wishes she could help him.

Some time passes as the sun sails across a cloudy sky, leading us to a fonda where Beto and his temp-dad, don Cesar are conferring over caballitos of Tequila. Cesar complains that in his relationship with Nieves, which otherwise would be going famously, Beto is the fly in the soup (mosca en la sopa). He's not a little boy anymore and should give his mom some breathing room. Beto once respected don Cesar, but she is after all his mother. He was up here, now he's down there. Cesar tells Beto that things happen, but Beto wonders why these things are happening to him. He's lost Monita, he's lost Constancia, and he's lost his mommy. Cesar tells him that he hasn't lost his mommy, he's gained a daddy. "Put yourself in my place," Beto says. "I'll pass." Cesar tells Beto that he lost Monita a long time ago. Ouch! "But she is the love of my life." "What about the other?" questions Cesar. "She is my great adventure. It hurts that she is about to marry someone else." "You want everything," Cesar observes. Well, yeah. Beto pictures his life, in the world of Roberto Ochoa, with Monita as his loving, faithful wife with several little Betos and Monis, and with Constancia as his faithful lover on weekends. Don Cesar chuckles, "Costs nothing to dream. Salud." "¿Salud mi? Salud, no, "whines a dejected Beto.

Back home in the 'hood, Paula can't believe that Beto was messing with Coni. She and Estrella are sympathetic with Moni, who happens to be walking up. Pau tells Moni that she just found out what's going on. Moni casts an accusing glance at Estre, who says that they are just worried about her and Pau notes that she would have found out anyway. Estre thinks that Mao needs to know about Beto and Coni but Moni cautions them that Mao must not find out. Estrella and Pau as well as we, don't agree, but Monita insists. Who can resist that pretty face? Estrella, our KIT (kougar in training) announces that she broke things off with Aldo.

And speaking of our little TIT (toker in training), we encounter Aldo tossing and turning in his bed. He's reminiscing over recent events in his life; a stint in the cubicle of castigation, his admonishment by Mao at the hideout interrupted by Coni and the cops who followed him there, his kiss off by KIT, and the fury of the Femsibs over his betrayal. Gee, almost makes me want to fire up a fatty, or at least hit the Jose Cuervo. He reaches for his stash, which he has cleverly hidden in his slipper. Dopers aren't always your deepest thinkers. He furtively glances over his shoulder then exits the room. I wonder if he has the good judgment to take it out side? Nah, of course he doesn't.

Now what with the flu and the whole tone of this episode so far, I don't have a lot of patience this next scene. Beto steps into Moni's apartment. He wants to talk. She doesn't. I'm with you Moni. OK let's get this over with. I love you Monita." Haven't we seen this scene already a while back? "Well, what about the mumi?" "Means nothing to me, I swear." "Face it your upset because the mumi's getting married, you're in love with her." Next!

The little TIT has found relief in a reefer., and is seeking solace through the little buds plugged in his ears. Thankfully we are not treated to his tunes. His purple haze is pierced by the intrusion of Katia. Perhaps she will sense that something is amiss with our lad. She has demonstrated a good rat-sniffing nose previously. Her entrance startles our stoner, "¡Aldo! ¿Cómo Estás?" Well right away she sense that something is wrong, but can't quite put her finger on it. Take a deep whiff, Sweetie! He hands her his Ipod and shuffles off to bathe, just as Luisa enters with a glass of orange juice. Or is that a screwdriver? These kids don't seem to have a lot of supervision lately. Luisa thought she'd find Katia here after she left without her juice, Katia asks Luisa, "What's up with with your brother?" "Ay, I don't know, but it looks bad."

Godfrey Daniel, once again more morose meandering mutterings by Moni and Beto. OK, here's a news flash, Moni can't stand the mumi. What's more she can't abide Beto diddling her. She tries to extract a promise from Beto that he'll stay away from her. Hold it just a freakin' minute Princesa, isn't that the same deal that Coni has demanded of Mao that your panties are twisted in a wad over? He narrows his eyes, looks away, but Moni persists. Look me in the eye and promise me..." Beto squirms, then not only promises to steer clear of Coni but anyone else of the estrogenic persuasion. Beto! He proceeds to stroke her face and proclaim his undying love for her and who should amble up just now? Yes. Mauricio in the flesh who overhears just enough to throw him and us into a deep funk. He hears Beto point out that Mao will marry Coni and that he, Beto, will fight for her love. He just wants a chance. Tearing up on his way out Mao bumps into Alicia who picks up on his dejection. He asks her not to reveal to Moni that she saw him here. Haven't we been through this before as well? Beto persists, Moni is torn, a chaste little hug...Next!

Aldo finds himself outside the movie theater with Katia who is as cute as a pitbull puppy and smells twice as nice. She has her sister's sense of fashion (if one ignores the chop job on her hair...could she have been attacked the same dangerous dog groomer as Nieves and Cesar?) without the accompanying turbid temperament. He spots his new BFF Chubi who seems to be on cruise-control. He gives Katia some cash and sends her off to purchase their tickets. He has business to take care of. He approaches the ever mellow Chubi and asks for some more herbs. What? You're already out? Slow down Buzz, there's a room in rehab with your name on it. Turns out that Chubi is above all a businessman. No cash, no stash. "Look me up when you can afford it, now have a nice day." Aldo frowns.

Well someone is happy. Beto is telling his mom that he now has another chance with Moni. They had an honest heart to heart and he feels that since Mao will be out of the picture, he stands to win over Moni. Nieves looks doubtful but is delighted when Beto tells her that he is kicking Coni to the curb. She gives him a hug and kiss but then whacks him upside the head when he admits to not exactly telling the truth.

In order to fill up a little time and give your feverish recapper a respite, we are treated to scenes from the racetrack with Mao playing with his little car. No, not that little car, this is a family show. Let's see who sponsors Mao. I think perhaps NEXTEL may play a part, but I also spot logos for Ford (is that a Mustang he drives?), Mapfre (whatever that is), Advil (could use some of that right now), IMPACT (they have that in Mexico?), Sherwin Williams, OK, enough of that Carlito. We also get a glimpse of Moni hard at work back in training with Cesar trying to remind her to take it easy, You just got out of a coma! He also asks her to speak with Nieves. Back at the racetrack Mao and Tono bond. Mao whines about Moni, Coni, Beto, the kids, but essentially about oh poor me. Tano squints and listens like he actually cares. Ho hum.

Thank goodness. We are back at the offices of Grupo Sermaño and looking into the conference room where we find Lalo poring over some brochures no doubt planning the upcoming wedding. He is intrigued by the idea of a wedding in a hot air balloon (globo aerostatico) but recognizes that the bitter Mao won't approve. The door behind him opens and out struts Beto who greets Lalo with a manly slap on the back, frightening our prissy planner, "You almost gave me a heart attack!" He scolds Beto for failing to knock and tardiness which does not faze his happy assistant. Beto advises Lalo to relax. Lalo spritzes him with an atomizer. Understandable. As Lalo enumerates the reason that they can't relax, Beto picks up a bride's magazine with a photo of a bride and groom on the cover. To his horror, the couple on the cover morphs into Connie and Mao. "¡Ayy!" he shouts as he tosses the magazine as if he'd picked up a rattlesnake. Lalo is jumpy, "Do you realize how much this manicure cost? It's French. What's the matter with you? Didn't your mother feed you?" "My mother breast fed me till I was eight years old." "Too much information," Lalo protests and spritzes him again and walks out ordering Beto to "Stay!". Beto picks up the atomizer which Lalo has left behind on the table and sniffs it. Ewww, not his favorite scent. Coni slinks in with honey dripping from her lips. Coni slinks in with honey dripping from her lips. "Hola, Beto." Uh oh. I smell trouble for Beto. Hey, remember your promise to Moni! Wow, he does and tries to leave. Coni stops him and begins her subtle seduction.

Out front, Lalo consults with Gabi. He's not pleased with her choice of assistants for him. "He's a wild animal." Gabi tells him that she has problems of her own. Deal with it Lalo. At this moment the elevator door opens, spilling out a vivacious Ximena pushing a glowering Rolu in his wheelchair which is rapidly developing a permanence of it's own. Lalo is not happy to see Rolu calling him a disagreeable marisco (crab).

In the conference room, Coni has resorted to a full-court press. Looking ravishing in a clingy but simple grey tank top and grey slacks, and by the way, that wonderful dentista even whitened her teeth, she stalks her prey like a feral cat.He tells her not to touch him ("No me toques," a line commonly heard in telenovelas, but rarely uttered by men). He backs up. She paws. Oh, please, throw me into that briar patch! He even tells her of his promise to Moni. It's over between him and her. She's intent and intense. She pounces. "It's over when I say it's over." He resorts to another tried and true telenovela plea, "¡Sueltame!" Trapped! She kisses him. Oh the shame!

Lalo continues to complain about Beto to Gabi. She is deaf to his pleas. She points out that each of us has a cross to bear. Ximena has her husband...he has Beto. Ximena offers to tell Gabi three things, then in deference to Rolu amends it to only one thing. "Rolu is not insufferable." Both Rolu and Lalo have complaints. Rolu thought that they were going out to eat. She assures him that they will. Lalo asked her to come help and she brought along the lump (bulto). No problem, she gives the wheelchair a shove thus removing the hindrance. Rolu complains from across the room that he is not a lump.

At the gym Moni skips rope. Cesar has brought Nieves for their little chat. Don't be nervous my little lime snow cone." Nieves is reluctant. "Moni's a noble girl," and then he oversteps, "besides, she already knows that you're a gossip (chimicolera)." She lets him have it with an elbow. They talk. Monita wants to know why so many lies. Nieves admits that she thought her Betito had achance and that she tried to get him to be honest with her. Then she realized how much Moni loves Mauricio. She knows she doesn't deserve pardon but she loves her like a daughter, the daughter she never had. Dang, she's good. I believe.

Meanwhile, Coni is in heat. She is chasing Beto around the conference table then leaps upon the table and stalks him on all fours like the lioness approaching the helpless little antelope. Ximena bursts in and was to join in,"Pin the tail on the burro?" Taking advantage of the intrusion, Beto bolts, "Look at me good Costancia, you've lost all of this." Smiling that mischievous smile, she notes that Coni is completely sweaty (sudada). "You're not over your craze for el Fantasma Vengador!" Looking a bit crazed, Coni bites her lip and says that Monita can have neither, "I want them both."

Carlos