Caray, Caray!

On this, my last night to recap CS, did I get an exciting episode filled with madness and mayhem? Death and destruction? No. I got about 5 minutes of good action and the rest is flashbacks and filler. But for all my readers in Viewerville I will do my best to make this enjoyable.

Disclaimer: Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am not responsible for how boring this episode was, for Leo’s ugly dress, or for the rat in the bucket.

Juan is chained to the ceiling and Rod is teasing him with the whip. Beat me Big Daddy! Come on! Too bad he just can’t get behind Rod and get him in a sleeper hold. He’s tall enough to do it. Me, I’d have to stand on a chair and that would kind of ruin the surprise. Rod leaves and locks him in his cell. He keeps trying to get loose.

Over at De Marin’s, JimAngela is so happy to think that she will be married to Gabe by tomorrow. They talk about everybody being happy. She’s sad when she thinks about Juan Mari reminds her that Gabe is suffering also.

Gabe is on the beach practicing his sword fighting and freaking out his horse. He stabs the sand. Tomorrow he gets married but his friend/father figure/boss is not at his side. He looks determined and pissed off.

Santos is on the beach looking out to sea. He looks very sad also. Jacinta sees him and tells him not to be sad because they are about to marry. He says yes but he is sad because Juan won’t be with them. He is always with us. His heart is always with us. Santos cries.

Juan is doing pull-ups in his cell. No wait, he’s trying to escape. My mistake. Somebody bellows his name. It’s Rod. He’s just checking to see if Juan’s accommodations are to his liking. No, that’s not it. He’s going to enjoy Juan’s suffering. You don’t know how much. Juan calls him a coward. Rod gets all warmed up. He uses that whip like a girlie-man. I’m so afraid. Gabriella from FELS makes Rod look like a girl scout.

Regina is sitting up in bed looking pretty in pink. She remembers back to when they were forced to get married. She remembers the wedding day. Flashbacks from the ship. She realizes that she has loved him all this time. She kisses her ring remembering her first kiss with Juan and all her other kisses after that. She says you can’t be dead. You can’t abandon me.

Back at the Finca Rod is finished with his flogging. Juan insults Rod and Rod insults his father. Juan gets all lathered up and says don’t insult my dad. Juan says you never accepted that my mom could love someone besides you. That I am their son. Rod hits him. That rat in the bucket disturbs me. Your daughter is expecting my child. Rod smacks him again. It will be a bastard. Regina will never return to you. Still the rat. Ewww!

It’s a dark and stormy night. Arcadio is still pacing at the finca. Where is that woman? Leo shows up and said she had to get the jewels. Arcadio tells her everything is ready for tomorrow. He escorts her to the dungeon.

Juan is still trying to get loose. He’s trying to pull the beam down to get his hands free. Good idea. He thinks of Regina and works harder to get himself free. He has flashbacks of Regina. The night she told him he could sleep with her. Their first night of passion. He thinks that she has to know that he is still alive.

Over at the doctors, Pablo doesn’t think it is wise for Regina to go to the weddings. She begs to go to the religious ceremony. She wants to be there since Juan can’t. She has faith that he will return. She says they should all be happy because that is what Juan would want.

Over at Renato’s he’s talking to himself. I can’t look at Regina because Juan is not back. I’m not convinced that Juan is dead. He flashes back to the sword fight on Penon del Diablo. Regina’s son will be a bastard.

Down in the dungeon Rod is trying to convince Juan that he loved MdR with all his heart. You don’t know love. I continue loving her. If you love my mother as much as you say then why are you such a pain in everyone’s ass? When your mother decided on another it changed my whole life. It made me what I am. For the first time I’m speaking the truth. Really? I love her more than my own life.

The next day everyone is gathering for the big event. Did I see Fully? Noel is going on about the ceremony and how great it was. Mari agrees. Colibri announces the novios are coming! The three couples appear in boats. Everyone looks so awesome. Pedro gives a toast to all the couples but especially to Juan who he knows is with them on this special day. Let’s start the music. There is a huge cheer for that. Music and dancing begins.

Over at Renato’s he drunk again. Leo comes home and blasts him for always being drunk. She makes him take a look at himself in the mirror. He sure looks like hell. But he did come back from the dead so maybe she should cut him some slack. If’s he’s going to redeem himself he better get a move-on. Only two more episodes to go. He starts to take a drink but pauses. Dramatic music plays in the background. He must have heard me. He turns and looks in the mirror again. He throws his drink at it. Do you know how many dumpster diving trips it would take me to find a mirror that awesome? Geez!

Back to the party. Snore FF>> Noel is singing FF>> for real. Everybody is laughing at him. Oh the horror! Make it stop! FF>>x2

Renato comes down fresh as a daisy. I hear the Rocky theme song playing in my head. He looks at himself in the mirror that he ruined and thinks that she will see him as the Renato he was before.

Back at the fiesta Eusabio and Pedro are acting like the 3 stooges minus one. Noel gets asked to dance. I’m not even going to comment on that. More FF>>

Back to Rod and Juan in the dungeon. (Thank Gawd!) I think Rod’s losing his mind. He just keeps talking but not really to Juan. He keeps talking about how beautiful MdR was and how rotten Juan’s father was. Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. Juan tries to get through to him. To tell Regina that he is still alive. She’s very fragile. She might lose our child. Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s going to happen. I think Rod is about one brick shy of a load at this point.

Back to the party. Man, I’m getting whiplash. Each new husband tells their new wife how much they love them. Each bride looks beautiful and each groom looks handsome. Except maybe for Santos who looks better but the jury is still out on that one. Smoochies all around.

Over at Pablo’s Regina is still trying to convice him that she feels great and wants to go to the party. He wants her to get back in bed and rest. Party pooper. The doc leaves. Regina says screw this, and gets out of bed and covers her head with a shawl. Because for sure nobody will recognize her.

Renato is riding his horse through the countryside.

Arcadio is pacing and thinking that he needs a bottle of something.

Pablo comes back to check on Regina and sees that the bird has flown the coop. What did you expect anyway? She left. She must have gone to the wedding party. Really? You don’t say? Duh!

Arcadio is doing what he does best--lurking. He sees Regina walk by. He sneaks up behind Regina and grabs her. Bastard! He throws her to the ground and yells at her about what a bad woman she is. He straddles her and holds her on the ground. He smacks her. Where did that come from?

Juan is still trying to have a rational conversation with Rod. He’s still trying to convince Rod that he needs to see Regina. He calls the finca the house of death. Rod pulls out a gun. He’s not going to be happy until Juan is dead.

Back to Arcadio who is trying to rape Regina. Where’s Renato?

Rod is still taunting Juan in the dungeon. He’s pondering if he should shoot him or leave him in is own hell.

Finally the Lone Ranger shows up and pops Arcadio a good one. Regina is a mess. Renato tells him to fight like a man. Arcadio pulls out a knife. Renato manages to get it away from him. He goes to Regina. Don’t turn your back, don’t turn your back! Arcadio has another knife, and who wouldn’t? I always carry a spare in my pantyhose. Arcadio grabs Renato and stabs him a couple of times. He’s down. End. See what I mean?

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