Caray, Caray!

Productplacementadora La Anita:

After Damián interrupts the mutual choke-fest, Lucio tells him that he just came by to get a job recommendation. Damián says he’ll write it himself – by which he means he’ll get Maru to write it, and he’ll sign it. Maru is waaaay more than happy to do so. Better check that rec, Lucio, and make sure it doesn’t extol any non-work related virtues.

Damián strolls into the presidente’s office and sits down in Papi’s old chair. Spooky hummy magic-cenote music: ah, the memories. Hmmm…doesn’t he have any memories of that pivotal credenza in the corner? Wait! We like this show! DAMIAN, STAY AWAY FROM THE CREDENZA.

In pops Maru with the rec. Wow, that was quick: she must have had an old love letter on file. Damián is a little shocked to see that she has written “President of La Anita” under his name. Well, she couldn’t very well write “son of the last old dead president of La Anita,” could she? OK, but just so they both know, he’s not staying – yeah, yeah, yeah. (What do you call it when someone keeps insisting on something you know is not going to happen? An anti-anvil?)

Out on the packing floor, Gabino confronts Braulio – why didn’t you tell me the boss’s son was back? Braulio stands up to him: I don’t have to tell you everything. And anyway, just as you always said, the young folks are always waiting around to swap out the old folks, aren’t they? Jejé.

La Iglesia:

Damián drops in on the Padre and asks him about all those rumors about Eliza. Not true, says Guadalupe – she’s a good girl. People are just vicious gossips, especially, I’m sorry to say, yo’ mama. In fact, and God forgive me in advance for being such a loose-lips (boquiflojo), but Mommy Dearest has already gone over and smacked that poor girl upside the head.

Alfie, who’s been loitering over in the make-up department getting a busted lip put on, marches in when she hears her name. Thanks a lot, bro! Lots of bickering ensues and ends up with Damián telling his Mom she’s not the boss of him and he can pick his own playmates. Dude, I think you’re going to need to say that more than once.

Casa Castañon:

The Doc stops by to see his old friend Augusto, with whom he remains old friends since the days of old, even though they haven’t been in the same frame together for fifteen years. Greetings, old friend!

Augie is sober for once, although he still shambles around like Frankenstein. (I don’t remember that from before, but maybe in the old days he had less reason to lurch.) They natter about problems in the fields, and stress, and problems at home, and stress, and what old friends they are and all. Actually, Augie says, you’re the only friend I have left. In an amazingly smooth conversational transition, Doc pops out with, “You don’t really love your wife, do you?”

Well, um, no, actually. It was a mistake to marry her. The Doc tells him that even so, she has stuck by him all these years, and he should treat her better. Augie says Carmina’s not the shrinking violet you think she is – she can take care of herself.

Meanwhile, the Tropic Under Discussion is, of course, listening at the door. Eliza catches her and they have a little spit-spat about how badly behaved each finds the other. Eliza flounces off to the kitchen just as the doorbell rings. It’s Damián, asking after Eliza. Tropicana tells him she’s out running around as usual; who knows where or with whom. You know how those trashy girls are. Yeah, sure, I’ll tell her you stopped by, coz I have such superb social skills. I gotta go now and slather on a bunch of lip gloss to plant on the doctor on his way out.

Casa Tovar:

Bony Begony is giving her son a hard time for working so hard at the factory that he didn’t even bring home any gossip. What you should be doing, she says, is cozying up to the Prodigal Son – he’s the real dueño, and why shouldn’t he sack Gabino and give you the foreman’s job? Enrique’s eyes light up – really, Ma? Ya think?

The Doc comes back, and Begoña snarls that he’s not to worry, they ate without him. And where were you, anyway? Why, I stopped by to pay an old-friend visit to my old friend Augusto, like old friends do. She doesn’t much care for his choice of friends. Well, he doesn’t much care for hers – why doesn’t she dump that Arango harpy and hang out with nice women – like sweet, simple Carmina Bouvier, for instance? She looks at him like he’s the biggest idiot in the world, which he is. Yeah, you’ve got great taste in women – between crazy Carmina and that incompetent secretary, you’re 0 for 2. He flounces out, leaving her “con la palabra en la boca” (still talking.) Hard not to, really.

About Town:

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to us, Gabino has been running a Yucatán-wide talent search for someone smarmier than himself, and the lucky winner has fetched up at the cantina wearing a lean and hungry look and some kind of ratty straw man-purse. In between wild paranoid glances in all directions from under his scraggly bangs, he tells Gab that he needs to hide out for a while (presumably from the fashion police.) Gab marches him off to a hotel, makes him take a shower, and gives him a passing grade on his first exercise in gratuitous shirtlessness. He cleans up pretty good for a jumpy psycho felon. Maybe tomorrow he’ll get ponytail lessons.

“So what about that job you promised me?” “Chill out, pal, it won’t be long. My enemies are catching up with me, and I need you to watch my back.” Talk about job security – he won’t run out of work anytime soon.

In, Around & Between Casas Castañon y Arango:

Eliza and Lolita are reminiscing in the kitchen and Eliza asks her why she never married. She replies that there was someone, once…Eliza remembers: Braulio! That’s right! You were really in love with him, weren’t you? Lolita’s misty smile says it all, especially after Eliza remarks that he is always asking after her with Don Lucio. So, are you still in love with him? Whoops, we’re out of bread – here, you stir the soup while I run off to change the subject.

In the driveway, Lola runs into Damián, who asks if Eliza is back yet. Back from where? She hasn’t been anywhere. Oh, don’t believe anything her tía says – she’s just trying to keep you two apart. Here, let me drag you into the house and throw you at her.

Damián tells Eliza he knows all about the slapfest and now he understands why she was so cool to him. But we can’t let our parents run our lives – we have to confront them right now, starting with your Dad. Bad idea, Dam, he’s in his study, drink – um, thinking. All right then, come-onna my house, and we’ll straighten my mother out once and for all. (Gee, great idea, Damián! Shove Eliza up your Mom’s nose and then leave town. Way to make life easier for your homies. Clearly your grad degree isn’t in Psychology.)

While they’re strolling the 16 feet between mansions, Damián expresses surprise that Eliza’s never had a novio. I expect love to happen all of a sudden, she says, out of the blue. Dam-dam goes on to muse dreamily that he never would have suspected that he’d fall in love with a girl he’s known since they were children. Naturally Eliza thinks he means her and goes all Cinderella-at-the-ball. (Clearly his grad degree isn’t in Communication, either.) Fortunately that little anvil isn’t long in falling – about 6 seconds, actually. They go through the front door of Casa Arango hand-in-hand, and who should they meet but…

“¡Mi amor!”

…Florencia, who trip-traps across the floor as quickly as her blinding white ace bandage dress will allow and hangs herself around Dam’s neck like an Italian Medallion.

Well, looky there: Eliza can do that boiled-egg thing with her eyes, too. She doesn’t look as deranged as auntie, but give her time.

Labels: abismo

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