Caray, Caray!

In no particular order:

Desperate Woman Reads Teen's Old Tweets
Isela warns Mini that if Ahole finds out that "we" can't conceive, he'll dump Mini. And if he finds out she's helping MA, he could kill her.

Mini disagrees. As long as they can get a "son" for him somewhere, even if Ahole finds out ("and he WILL find out," Mini says), no way will he throw away his big chance at the prize.

As for MA, Mini thinks she knows how to find him. She looks at Frida's tweets/blog(s)/other social media. But there doesn't seem to be anything recent and it's all about Tato, Tato, Tato.

Grandma in Old Pajamas Begs Grandson: "Get a Job"
MA questions Mati about the papers that were hidden in the busted bust. All she remembers is that her husband told her not to lose it. She can't recall any details (at least not today). She warns him of the dangers of being idle and urges him to get a job.

Fragile, Vulnerable Boy at Monastery Retreat Takes Bath, Forgives Mother
Drunk "Nun" Feeds Dog with Fork

Leo lectures his mother at great length for stealing from a super-poor family. It will take them forever to make that money back, and in the meantime the RPs will be stuck living in the roof-shack that much longer. She should go to confession. If the archbishop forgives her, then maybe Leo will too.

AS says it's too bad he feels that way... she won't be able to help him with Countess Macarena's visit.

That shuts Leo the hell up. He takes a bath. AS feeds the dog (with a fork) and has the hotel boutique send up a selection of designer suits for Leo to take whatever he likes.

Ex-Wrestler Considers Offering Unlicensed Plumbing Services
Chuy tries not to show Lupe how depressed he is, but all the bad luck is starting to take its toll on the Son of Sumatra and he ends up in tears. He's going to need to do some extra work to bring in more income - maybe as a plumber. He and Lupita share a good cry.

Lupita goes to the roof later to collect some laundry - there are an awful lot of bras on the clothesline - and asks MA why doesn't he fix up the shack a little? He doesn't think they'll be living there long enough to justify the effort. (HA!) And why does he want to buy this house at all, for that matter? Lupe says she and her siblings grew up here, but what interest could MA possibly have here? She suspects that he's hiding a little secret behind his jokes.

Self-Proclaimed "Naco" Evades Brawl, Confronts Pretentious "Fresa" Girlfriend
At the school, Tato continues to beg Frida to take him back. She says no way. He's not an anarchist or even a vegetarian! Forget it!!

Later, she finds JT is still hanging around. He wants to drive her home after she's done with her school stuff (she has some stuff to do at the admin offices or something) - she tries very hard to get rid of him, but he refuses. Then Tato shows up and he and JT exchange more insults. Frida sends JT away. "I thought you were better than these fresas," he accuses, but he leaves.

Frida tells Tato that she is definitely NOT JT's girlfriend, but it's only because they don't have much in common. And, sure, they're from different backgrounds, too. Tato jumps on this - see, that's why WE should be together! Frida says no, no. You're a total fake.

Meanwhile, Jordi and another jerk follow JT into the parking lot. They have a fight over whether being a plumber or other blue-collar worker is as worthy as going to school to become a captain of industry. The fresas call over a big scary friend and for a moment it looks like it will be three against one; but JT makes a spectacular acrobatic steeplejacking escape through the parking lot, cheered by applauding onlookers.

Later, JT calls Frida out on her behavior. He didn't like the way she treated him in front of her friends. Frida says it's not as though we're "chavos." JT agrees: she's embarrassed to be seen with a naco like him. Frida pretentiously says she has an obligation to the working class. JT says, "You're full of it, you're a total fake, and I won't be the object of your anthro-pornographical curiousity."

Auditor Incriminates Crook, Gets Big Bag of Money from Lovelorn Flunkie
Ahole tells the board that this independent auditor Mr. Berlanga has uncovered information that conclusively proves that Adolfo helped MA commit the fraud. The board examines the proof and agrees that Adolfo's gotta go to jail right now.

Vilma discreetly pays Berlanga; Ahole is conveniently absent and will no doubt later claim not to know anything about this. Later, with Vilma, Ahole gloats. "He'll never even suspect me because I'll be 'helping' him get out of trouble!" "And burying him even deeper," Vilma co-gloats, taking off her glasses and licking her chops.

Ahole says this calls for a celebration. He'll have a cigar... and lucky Vilma gets to light it! (Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.)

"Seven Seconds in Heaven" Postponed Again By Retching Wife
At home, Ahole quickly disrobes for a quick quickie with his wife. Mini begins retching, and Ahole hurriedly puts his clothes back on. She recovers, and seductively tries to pump him for information about MA and the fraud... she's soooo worried Ahole might be implicated. Ahole proudly says it's not him - it's Adolfo. He starts taking his clothes off again. Mini retches elaborately, and this time I don't think she's faking.

Telenovela Characters Use Phone Call to Explain Slowness of Plot
Saul tells MA it's too soon after Trejo's death to continue bugging the real estate developer about the special secret clause regarding the million dollars and the Menchacas' house. And MA tells Saul that Granny doesn't remember anything, but he'll keep trying. They need to contact Adolfo soon, but Saul asks MA (and us) to be patient.

Adolfo is coming home from wherever and sees a zillion police cars around his building. All of the police are looking at his building, and apparently none of them are watching incoming traffic, so Adolfo just drives away undetected.

Later, MA worries that Leo isn't home yet. He knows Frida can take care of herself, but Leo is "fragile, vulnerable, and different." He finally gets Leo on the phone; Leo claims to be at a monastery retreat.

Costly Countess Sets World Record for Most Disses Per Minute
The Countess has arrived. Leo greets her with a very large bunch of roses. He says they can't go to the RP mansion, because it's being renovated. They can't see Frida, because she's traveling. They're taking the hotel bus, because a limo would attract the paparazzi.

Macarena scopes out the hotel suite and thanks Leo and AS for getting it for her. (AS will have to get another room.) She says it's not as nice as the one in Dubai, but she loves it. She thinks they should have a banquet; AS offers champagne. Mac tastes the champagne, pauses, gives it a funny look, and guzzles the rest of it.

Crow Pie Served to Classmates Who Taunted Fatherless Boy
MA has another heart-to-heart with Emiliano. The boy is upset because the kids tease him for not having a father, and his mother treats him like a baby. He's in fourth grade, for Pete's sake! I think MA says all mothers are like that - even the ones who aren't drunks. (Something like that?)

At school the next day, Emiliano pulls away from his mother as quickly as possible so his friends won't see them together, but they make fun of him anyway. He insists that it's just that his father is busy. The teasing continues until the teacher comes. "There's someone here to see you," she tells Emil. "Your mother won't let anyone else take you home from school and she's not here yet, but your father is here."

All the kids run to the gate. You'd think an ice cream truck had turned over. MA is at the gate. "Hey! Sorry I couldn't take you to school this morning, but I was busy doing parent stuff. Do you forgive me?"

Next time:
Bumbling Husband and Wife Compete to Find Fugitive
Local Gangster "Disappointed" by Recent Events

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