Caray, Caray!

Eleazar visits Carmen in solitary.  He lies that the kids are all fine and tells her she's safer there, away from The General, and that she needs to be careful with her.  He asks her about the bags and Carmen remembers that the tags were still on them and she saved them.

Diego visits the "security" department at Caprico and asks for an incident report and the security videos.  He's surprised to find Natalia in his office and they make googly eyes at each other while she puts him through to someone to return a call.  Outside, a grumpy Karina arrives…late…and gets stalled further by yet another call from Diana.  Grumps is pissed that Natalia is in the office and refuses to apologize to Natalia.  She tries not to provoke him and tells Diego not to fight with him on her account, but well, Grumps needs no provocation.  Diego gives Natalia work-related instructions that she probably both understands and will be able to carry out effectively.  Out at Karina's empty desk, Vicente does a little mental math and decides Karina + Diana = Trouble.  As Karina skids to a halt in front of her desk, Vicente summons her into his office.  She's still frantically scratching her neck as he asks her when, exactly, she touched the baggies, because he never saw her.  Of course, she can't give him a good answer.   "Diana's the one who told you to plant the drugs, right?"  Karina confesses they did it together, but it was Diana's idea.  Vicente is furious because they could have gotten the company in trouble.  He tells Karina she'd better not call Diana and warn her as he storms out of the office.

Eleazar calls Alberto to tell him about the tags. He's going over to the house to look for them right now, but first he calls Natalia to fill her in.  Natalia won't leave work, but she reminds him that Luz has keys to Garcia Central Station.  She notices Karina and her frantic neck-rubbing, but Karina says it's nothing, to the accompaniment of her incessantly-ringing cell phone.  Karina's looking disturbed enough that Natalia seems concerned about her.  Cause she's nice like that.  Or possibly because she's worried that once Karina rips her own throat out, they'll never get the blood out of those fancy carpets.  Even Diego notices the neck abuse.  Karina starts to crack, saying it's all too much…though she never says what, exactly.  Diego gives Natalia some more instructions before he heads out to the plant.  Someone from the foundation that sent Tad to Paris and asked him to jury yesterday now calls Vicente to ask about the appointment that Vicente is blowing off to deal with his miscreant granddaughter-in-law.

Vicente goes to the house, screaming for Diana, but she's out.  Irene is home, though.  He gets the call from Karina about his meeting, but he tells her to cancel it.  Irene grabs him as he clutches his chest and swoons.  I gotta say, I don't think Vicente's obsessive need to control everyone around him is good for his health.  Of course, he probably thinks the problem is that they won't allow him to control them, but that's Vicente for you.

Eleazar looks through the boxes on Carmen's dresser, but he can't find the tags.  He finds a picture of Carmen with all the kids and wonders where he'd put a box of romantic mementos…if he had one. He finds a box under her nightstand.  It's got baby clothes in it…and pictures of the baby daddies, who he recognizes on sight and knows by name…annnnnnnnnd tickets from when they first got a movie theater in Tuxpan and went to see a horror movie together.  He remembers how he was totally angling for her to clutch him in terror, but he was the one who ended up nearly crawling into her lap.  And he liked it, too, just like he always likes Carmen's heavenly hugs.  "What if you had loved me like I always dreamed you would?"

Lala and Irene hustle Vicente out of his jacket and tie and into bed.  Lala goes to call the doctor as Vicente gripes that it's nothing and he's fine.

Diana keeps calling Karina, who keeps hanging up on her.  Karina finally answers the phone long enough to tell Diana that Diego's not there and neither is "that woman" (ese tipa) for the moment.

At the Artsy Fartsy Foundation meeting, a suit calls it to order, noting that Vicente won't be joining them.  Tad is surprised to hear they were expecting Vicente at all.  "Oh, yeah.  He's our biggest sponsor.  Has been since 1991.  I distinctly remember how, on the day he became our sponsor, we had a solar eclipse.  We were all meeting him and it suddenly went from day to night."  Yes, that always happens when an evil rat bastard shows up to give a lot of money to a charitable foundation that sends the dude who's boinking his daughter to Paris just before she can tell him she's pregnant, not that it would have mattered anyway.  Tad does the math, too.

Diana hauls Natalia into the ladies' room to berate her so-called friend Eulalia for being two-faced.  "Let's drop the pretense!"  "OK," replies Natalia, "I saw you kissing your lover."  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Diana!

Finally, in a folded-up piece of paper, Eleazar finds the luggage tags and calls Morales.  He sends Morales to the suitcase store to find out when the bags were sold.

Diana tells Natalia she's struck gold and is willing to pay for her silence.  "Oh, save it.  If I'd wanted to tell him, I would have, but it's none of my business."  Still, Diana would feel better if Gabriela would accept the money.  "Oh, stuff it!  My mama and Papa Juancho didn't raise me to be that way, back when I was a little girl in Tuxpan!"  Oops…she said the "T" word!  Diana realizes who Natalia is and thinks she's been around since Diego met her.  "It's on now!  You're going down!"  Whatever.  Natalia's not going to let Diana step all over her.  "I met him when he was single, and I hadn't seen him in years, until I showed up here.  And I'm not fixin' to interfere in his marriage, even you totally have it coming.  Besides, it's not like I really need to give him the scoop to convince him to divorce you."  Diana swears Diego's been hers for, like, ever.  And, of course, this convinces Natalia that Diana was Diego's girlfriend back when she met him in Tuxpan.  Really, Natalia?

The doctor's verdict is high blood pressure…and Vicente has refused to treat it.  Irene knows it's serious, but she doesn't think she can convince him to take care of himself.

Artsy Fartsy Foundation meeting breaks up and Tad asks the guy who told that touching eclipse story if he's, like, absolutely, totally, completely sure of the date Vicente joined the foundation.  Well, sure he's sure…and not only that, Vicente made it a condition of joining that Tad win the scholarship/internship that year.  "Boy, you sure owe him one!"

Irene calls Diego to tell him about Vicente's health.  She wants to pass on the responsibility of convincing him not to drive himself into an early grave on to Diego.  Not that he thinks he'd do a better job of that than Irene would.  He's intrigued to hear that Vicente drove himself to the house and was looking for Diana.

Who is currently interrupting her friend's workday yet again to complain that Natalia's "that girl from Tuxpan."  She tells Karina that her brilliant strategy was to make Natalia think that Diego was still dating her when she met him in Tuxpan.  "But that's not true."  Whatever.  Diana demands that Karina reinforce the idea every chance she gets.  Karina's actual boss calls to tell her to cancel all his appointments for the day.  Diana hopes to go home and convince him to join in her vendetta against Natalia.  Karina's still all itchy, on account of having followed Vicente's instructions and not warned Diana that she's in big trouble with Grumps.

The suitcase shop is tracking down the sale and they have no problem giving Eleazar the security videos once they figure out what day the suitcases were sold.  Or so they say.  I dunno.  Maybe they're in on it and they're the ones who put the extra zipper in.

Karina steps away from her desk for a moment, telling Natalia to answer her phone if it rings.  Natalia reminds her to say "Please," but it goes over Karina's head.  Diego shows up, and he's brought Natalia a present.  Insta-soup.  Ok, that's kind of cute.  But she's not in the mood--she'd rather talk about whether he was dating anyone when he met her in Tuxpan.  Seriously, Natalia?

Diana gets home and finds out that Vicente's having blood pressure problems.  And boy is she gleeful, thinking this makes him ripe for manipulation.

Diego, of course, swears he wasn't with anyone.  He reminds her that they were interrupted that night by Alonso, saying "Dr. Mendoza" had shown up.  Well, "Dr. Mendoza" was really Diana, who had followed him out there, cause she was obsessed with him and wouldn't take "no" for an answer.  He went to go tell her to leave and to keep her from doing anything bad to Natalia.  Natalia buys it, but she won't tell him why she asked in the first place.

Diana goes into Vicente's room and puts on the waterworks.  She starts to tell him about Natalia being "that girl from Tuxpan," but Vicente trumps with "I know you're the one who planted the drugs in that girl's desk."  He rips into her for being stupid, lowering herself to what he thinks is Natalia's "level," and doing something that could have messed with his bidness.

Diego asks Karina if Diana stopped by.  He takes the neck rubbing as a "yes."

Vicente digs into Diana some more, saying he only "let" her marry Diego because he thought she'd be a classy broad, but now that he sees she's a lowlife, he's got half a mind to support Diego in getting a divorce.  Diana babbles about how she luuuuuurves Diego and just wanted to get Natalia away from him.  In the background, Irene passes by the partially-open door as Grumps says that they can agree on that, "but not by bringing drugs into my company!  This had better be the last time, or I'll turn you in."  Irene has entered the room by the time Grumps finishes his speech.  She leaves his medicine and says it's up to him whether he takes it or not.

Natalia's eating her Instasoup in the break room.  Diego comes in to eat HIS Instasoup, which, hey, it's a free break room, so she can't really object.  She has to give him instructions for the soup, and then asks him to please eat it in his office.  Diego swears again that he told the truth about not being with Diana when he met her.  His only proof is a kiss, though, so he basically threatens to kiss her if she won't believe him.  "Fine, I believe you.  Gimme the soup and I'll show you how to do this."

Irene is interrupted in her sketching by a call from Tad.  He wastes time asking her not to hang up on him and saying he has to say something important.  So she hangs up on him.

The store video shows The Louse buying the bags.  The clerk remembers him as being charming and handing her one of his cards.  Of course it says "Roberto Esparza, Broker," which Morales remembers as the name he used at the hotel in Miami.  Morales escorts the clerk to the station to take her statement, after Eleazar assures her that she's not in any trouble and her testimony could help free an innocent woman.

Irene can't get back to her sketching and calls Alonso.  She tells him about the phone call from Tad and that she really wants a drink.  Alonso tells her to get the hell out of the house and meet him at the café.

Diego asks Natalia about Diana's visit.  "She was just trying to get to me, that's all."  Diego is sure there was more to it than that.  "She wanted to know if I was the one from Tuxpan.  She didn't know it before, she just figured it out because I mentioned Tuxpan."  Diego says the whole mess with Diana will be over soon.  "Whatever.  That's your deal.  How's the soup?"  Diego says it's the awesomest soup ever…cause he's eating it with her, of course.

Irene shows up at the café, shaken, and insisting that all she really needs is for Tad to go away and for her never to see him again.  She cries about what a mess she is and Alonso insists she's "talented, creative, caring, beautiful…a woman in every sense of the word."  Irene, if you don't want him, I'll take him!

Diego should be working, but he's too busy thinking about how he was thisclose to kissing Natalia in the break room.  "Security" shows up with the video Diego asked for.  He says it's not very clear, and indeed, it's not.  Two very pixellated figures skulk around in the hallway.  It would probably useless in court.  They should probably get an upgrade.  The security guy knows the footage was from last night, just after Natalia showed up, but she's the only person other than Diego who was signed in.

Monday: Smoochies, luuuuuurve, screechy Diana.

Labels: te-quiero