Caray, Caray!

Recap by HellaShelle

Things are just about ready in El Santuario house. Adelina thinks it’s like time never passed, everything’s exactly the same. No, Aldonza reminds her. It’s not the same without her mother. Adelina gathers her up into a hug. When does Aldie want to move back in? Aldie says tomorrow. Adelina thinks that’s a little fast. Despite what she said two seconds ago, the house isn’t 100% ready yet, but Aldie doesn’t think there’s a reason to wait; it’s livable. They’re discussing it when Emmanuel comes in to tell Aldie someone’s looking for her. It’s Cris.

He needs to talk to her. It’s important. Well, she has nothing to say. But he does. But she doesn’t. But he does – Thank God Joaquin comes in to ask if there’s a problem. No, Cris just wants to talk to Aldonza, that’s all. She tells him he can state his piece and then leave. He would like some privacy to share his inner most thoughts and feelings and here, away from his house, he can actually get it. He and Aldonza head outside to talk.



Valeria washes her face as a variation of the Wicked Witch of the West theme plays. There’s some lovely photography work as she opens her mirrored bathroom cabinet and her eyes light on an unlabeled bottle of pills. She takes them out, closes the mirror and silently confers with her reflection. They come to decision.

Cris swears to Aldie that what he said last night was true: he loves her. What’s more, he’s sure she loves him back, despite what she says, otherwise she wouldn’t have responded to Kiss 2.0 in a way that melted TV screens across the country. Don’t speak for me and don’t be ridiculous, she fires back. He knows this seems crazy because he was marrying Valeria, but they’re over now. Well, who the heck told him she wanted him to break up with Valeria?! Aldonza asks. He answers that Val was the biggest obstacle to them being together (shows how much he knows). Aldonza tells him that at no point has she thought he could be her partner, not in love, not in anything, and he’s treating his girlfriend/fiancée like crap. Cris scores his first point of the night by pointing out that he can’t be with anyone else knowing that he’s in love with Aldonza. Too bad, Aldonza says flatly. She doesn’t feel the same way about him, so he left his girl for absolutely nothing. He doesn’t believe her, he says, taking a step closer and lightly grasping her arms (ah, here it comes…). She won’t be able to escape him or what they both feel. She asks him to let her go. She has to leave. Cris matter of factly tells her that it doesn’t matter how much she fights, sooner or later she’s going to recognize their situation for what it is. (This escaping, “doesn’t matter how much you fight” language is creeping me out, but only because we know what Sev did.) She tells him to let go of her again and leaves.

A glassy-eyed Lola’s home and she’s fine, just checking out the fridge for a snack. Everything’s cool, Dominga…except that she broke up with the E-man. She sniffs into Dominga’s hug. Her grandmother thinks Lola did the right thing since that relationship was born of tricks and deceptions and stolen kisses. Dominga says she’d ream her out, but it looks like she’s already gotten punished for this whole affair just by having it. Now E-man’s gotta step up and fix the mess he made. Lola adds that she has to, ugh, leave the road free for Mari to slither up it. Dominga agrees, for Mari or anyone else. Or would she rather he hurt her again? No, she advises Lola to maintain some dignity. Lola agrees again, that’s why she told him she doesn’t want to see him again…which was dumb! Why did she do that?! She smacks herself in the head. She could’ve just put him on the rack for a few days or months, but instead she sent him packing and she loves him, the idiot. What’s she going to do?

Cris arrives home to find his parents laying in wait for him in the living room. Sev gets to be point: what is this about Cris not marrying Val? Cris confirms. Cande can’t believe he says it so blunty and calmly, but Cris calls it like he sees it. Sev thinks this is a terrible way to treat a woman (really, Sev? Seriously?) and Cande thinks Cris is “just confused,” but Cris put the cabash on both of them because he knows he doesn’t love Val like that. It took a lot for him to recognize it for what it is, but he’s not turning back now. Well, Cande says, he looks like a capricious child. No, Cris insists, he just refuses to get married just because he gave his word and they’re already planning the wedding. He doesn’t want to have a marriage without love, like theirs (ding, ding, ding! Give this man a million dollars!)

Sev jumps in: they’re not talking about his and Cande’s marriage, and he doesn’t have the right to judge them. Cris points out that they’ve discussed his more than once and he just doesn’t feel like repeating that mistake. They’re going back and forth when Val calls Cris’ cell. She’s laid out on her bed, talking in halting sentences. She just called…to say goodbye…she loves him…

All of the Mendozas can guess what’s up. Cris asks his dad to call Hum while he and Cande rush out of the house. Sev tells Hum he needs to get home immediately then, after hanging up, says that this is all they need and Val’s an idiot (yes. We know.)

Mari (la descarada), comes bopping up to Dominga outside, asking for Emmanuel. He’s not there. Can Dom help her with anything else? No (ponytail swish), she just wanted to talk to him. She’s embarrassed about the show they gave last night. Dominga’s like “good! At least you have a little shame.” Mari, la descarada, pouts at Dominga not to be mad at her and Lola’s her friend and she’d never hurt her, but she tried to steal Emmanuel from Mari and that’s why he kissed her last night, so now Lola should understand that it’s Mari he’s into and I might have missed something because I closed my eyes and tried to block out the ringing in my head here. Dominga says that all of this might be true, but the way they did it sucked balls. They humiliated her girl. Mari says she knows, but E insists that he had no choice because Lola just wouldn’t see the truth. Dominga gives this chick waaaayyy too much credit and is like well I guess if it happened that way, then none of it’s your fault. What?! You guys, I can’t. Imma slap Mary La Descarada in the town square. Mary fakes like she’s getting emotional and asks Dominga to talk to Lola and put in a good word for her AND E. She turns, smiles and bops away and I have mentally jumped out of the Renato fight and it’s just me throwing his lying heffa into the mud and beating on her.

Pru is reading a magazine with her feet up when people start pounding on the door. Cris and Cande burst in. Cande tells Pru to be calm as Hum and Cris rush to Val’s bedroom. Cris breaks the door down and they try to get a barely conscious Val to react. Cris finds the pills and helps Hum move her into Hum’s room (um…why?). Cande gets Pru and Cris downstairs to give Hum space and protect Val’s privacy.

Uriel and Irma are having a parent conference at a café. Uriel is relaying his morning meeting with Sev, telling Irma that if E is playing with their little girl, he deserves to lose his job (hold up, what?!) and he has Sev’s full support and E’s going to have to respond with actions, not words and I’m angry again, so let me know if I miss something here. Irma’s like “eh…I don’t know? Are you sure he’s even  really interested in Mari?” Uriel stops for a moment while his giant ogre self works through having a thought before setting on an action. “Um, duh, that’s what I understood…” Yeah, it’s too much for his brain so he repeats that E’s going to have to demonstrate his affection for Mari with actions, not words. Irma, now officially the only useful person in this family, switches topics. She saw Padre J this morning and he told her about Rob’s mass. Uriel doesn’t want to go, but Irma urges him to. Not many people will be there and it will be a nice gesture for Aldonza. I want the father to give a fiery sermon on judging people based on rumors and suppositions and outright lies and I want him to stare and Mari the whole time.

The Santuario crew is finishing up for the day. They have to get ready for the mass. Aldonza says she’ll never be able to thank them enough, Joaquin and E say the happy faces of the Alcocer girls is all the payment they need. There are smiles and hugs all around. Joaquin dims the bulb because he might not be able to make it to the mass (on account of his wife being a shrew), but Adelina assures him they won’t be offended. La descarada calls E and says they need to talk. Hell yeah, they need to talk! E agrees and tells Joaquin to head out, he’ll catch up later. E asks Mari wth?! with her last night, and she says they should talk in person. (E, no. Do not meet with this viper unless it is brightly lit, with plenty of witnesses and a lawyer.) E says he can’t right now because he’s going to Rob’s mass, but they can meet up tomorrow. Uriel and Irma come in so Mari cheerily agrees, sends him a kiss and hangs up. She kisses them hello and says she was talking to her boyfriend, E, before bopping away. Uriel takes this as proof that they’re together. Because he’s an idiot.

Cande’s updating Sev via phone. Dominga comes into his office to ask if Cande will be back soon because she and Melesio can’t miss this mass. Who died? Sev wants to know. Dom tells him it’s for Rob and Sev gets lost in memory.

Hum lets everyone know that Val’s ok and Pru and Cande go to her. Hum holds Cris back to tell him that Val did this idiotic thing because of him, so he should stay away from her and not torment her more with his presence and he better just leave before Hum forgets that Cris is his godson. Cris tries to say he’s sorry and didn’t mean for this to happen throughout Hum’s speech, but Hum keeps cutting him off. Which is fine. Unlike with Uriel and E, there’s no info lost in the middle. Cris leaves.

Lola’s crying on Aldie’s shoulder. Aldie’s sympathetic, but she’s sure Lola will get over this. No, Lola says. When it’s true love, it buries itself in the heart and won’t die. Like with her and Cris. Aldie doesn’t want to talk about him. Lola wants to know why Aldie’s mad at him, what’d he do? Aldie tells her about the behind the scenes of the engagement party and the subsequent engagement cancellation, and Lola’s a little thrilled. Cris did all of that for Aldie? Awww! Aldie’s like no, he’s a jerk. That’s a jerk move that no one deserves, not even Val, who I hate. She tells Lola she told him to get a life and Lola’s like why?! That was superomantic! Not everyone would do that! Aldie agrees; not everyone would, only someone who doesn’t know wth he wants would do that. Lola asks if Aldie knows what she wants cuz her eyes shine when she talks about Cris and she can tell Aldie still loves him. They’re saved by Renato, who’s calling Aldonza on her cell to ask if she’s ready. She thanks him for coming to the mass b/c she knows it’ll be a small group. Renato thinks that’s fine; why would she want a bunch of hypocrites around anyway? Good point, she says. The important people will be there. Renato says he’ll be by to pick her up in a little bit. Lola’s like wow, I can’t even get a dog to bark at me and you’ve got two Prince Charming’s falling all over themselves to get to you and you won’t even either one the time of day! Some girls have all the luck.

Pru is telling Val she was so worried! The Ice Queen tells the freaked mom to leave her recently suicidal daughter to go get Val something to drink. Pru protests, but Val backs Cande up. Cande starts lighting into her for pulling this idiotic stunt. Doesn’t she have a sense of self-preservation? Val reveals that even she’s not that dumb. She only took two pills and threw the rest away. Cande’s still ticked. They were worried sick! Even Hum bought the act! (Guess he’s not that great of a doc after all) How could she play with them like that?! Val’s like how could Cris play with me like that?! He just tossed me to the side, like so much trash, all for Aldonza. Cande doesn’t even want to hear the name. She insists this isn’t over, but Val’s not so sure. Cris is likely to defend Al against the whole world if necessary. Cande puts on her plotting face and says no, Cris is all about Val right now. He feels guilty and ashamed. Pru comes back in with tea or something for Val. Cande says she’ll send Cris in, but Pru says he already left. Val’s says I told you so. He’s probably with Aldonza.

Aldie’s thinking of how few people will be at the church while Lola idles in the background. She asks Adelina if Roberta was really such a bad person. Adelina says no, Rob was just unsatisfied with life. Aldie asks if Rob was happy as a child, and Adelina says yes, but she was always rebellious and atrabancado (hurried, rushing). Nothing was ever enough, so she was always frustrated. Aldie’s surprised that the sisters were so different. Adelina agrees, but insists that they loved each other and she’s so sorry she couldn’t help Rob find happiness. Aldonza knows she tried her best, and God knows all she did for both she and Rob. Al would’ve loved to have a sister like Adelina. Lola pipes up to say she’s here and they share a group hug.

Cris is feeling the weight of his world on his shoulders. Melesio asks what’s up and Cris says he told the truth and placed his bets and nothing is working out. Aldonza wants nothing to do with him and he’s making the woman who does love him suffer. He tells Mel that Val tried to kill herself and Mel says Cris can’t blame himself for Val’s actions. What’s more, is Cris sure Val didn’t fake it for attention? After all, she loves herself a lot. Cris says no way, then admits that the thought did cross his mind, but he doesn’t think she would go that far. Mel hits the nail on the head and says that’s because Cris is noble and thinks everyone else is too, but they’re not. Cris still doesn’t (want to) buy that. Mel says the heart makes people do crazy thinks. Dominga finds them and fusses b/c she’s been looking for Mel and they’re going to be late. Cris asks where they’re going and she tells him they’re going to Rob’s mass.

After the commercial break, PJ is wrapping up Rob’s mass with a moment of silent prayer. He’s just closing out he mass, when Cande comes swooping down the aisle. She descends upon Aldonza, screaming that Aldie won’t get her way! Cande will die before she lets her son hook up with her! She lands a huge slap across Aldonza’s face while everyone looks on in shock and horror…Including Cris.

Hum has told Val that he’s the one that kicked Cris out. She’s pissed; she wanted to see him. Hum says he did it cuz he’s her dad and given the circumstances, he thought it was best.  Pru, por variar, is on Val’s side and says Cris was also desperate to see Valeria. Hum asks Pru to let him talk to Val alone.

“Candela!” PJ booms out. “How can you act this way in the House of God?!” Well apparently we aint seen nothing yet, cuz the witch has gone bsc. She grabs Roberta’s urn and is about to smash it on the ground when Cris grabs her. Al snatches the ashes, hands them off to Adelina and has to be held back by both Adelina and Lola from tearing Cande to pieces. Cris is furiously ordering his mom to leave. Candela screams that Cris needs to be with Val and, in case he’s forgotten, it’s Aldie’s fault that Val tried to kill herself and Aldie ruins everything she touches, including this church! PJ bellows at her to shut up and kicks her out of the church. Cande poisonly swears that Al is going to hell, screams at Cris to let go of her and broomsticks her way out.

Back at the Zapatas, Hum says he doesn’t like what happened tonight. As bad as Val feels, this is not the way to feel better and it’s not what Val learned in this house. Val says she can’t take it that Cris is leaving her for another woman. Hum counters that he couldn’t take it if Val left this world, for any reason. Val asks for forgiveness and Hum makes her promise she won’t do it again. He tells her she can’t make Cris love her the way that she loves Cris and he’s not the only man in the world. Val cries that Hum’s depressing her more and should leave; she wants to be alone. Hum just wants her to know that he loves her and is there for her.

PJ says what just happened is too shameful to even comment on. He wishes everyone a good night. Aldonza is on the verge of tears and homicide.

Cris wants to know wtf Rob did to Cande that Cande would do what she just did. Cande says the only thing he needs to understand is that she won’t allow him to get involved with that whore. Well, Cris won’t allow her to manage his life. Cande, astonished, asks if he has rights over Val’s life. She thinks it’s nuts that instead of being with Val, he’s come to pay his respects to a whore. Cris tells her to stop before he has to get rude. Cande, with tears in her eyes, says he’s should have more respect for himself, rather than being here, dirtying his family name. They both agree that it’s useless to talk to each other. Cris moves to usher her away, but she tells him not touch her, she can walk alone.

Emmanuel was watching from afar. As Cris and Cande leave, Mari slinks up to him, wanting to have their talk. E says he already made it clear: not today. (Sidebar: Oh this is the shot from the opening credits.) E wants to know wth is up with her. She knows what went down last night. She forced things. Mari insists he kissed her back. For a second. She felt it. Lola is watching this from the sidelines and after watching Mari try to affix herself to E like a barnacle, Lola runs away. Meanwhile, E’s like no, I was drunk and you took advantage. E tells her point blank that she did it so Lola would see them. Mari testily admits that yes, she did force things, but it wasn’t so Lola would see, it was because she likes him and she had to put up a fight. E’s like wow…you’re horrible. Mary’s like, no I’m not, I’m sincere. Not like Lola, who did exactly the same thing and now thinks E’s her property. E puts the stop to that immediately. He’s no one’s property and to start, Lola kicked him to the curb. What’s more, everyone’s trying to confuse or seduce him. What’s even more, everyone thinks he’s the worst because of what he did to Lola. And to finish things off, her dad threatened his job over this. For some reason, Mari still tries to kiss E at this point, swearing she didn’t know. E says he’s had it. He’s not going to be blackmailed and he’s not going to be forced into a relationship. If he loses his job over this…well, he’ll leave it to God. He stalks off and a pouting, scheming Mari remains in the plaza.

Hum tells Pru that Val’s depressed and still insists on getting back with Cris. Pru thinks it’s logical. It’s terrible to be made a laughingstock, especially since they just announced the wedding. Hum thinks what the people say is the least of their worries. What matters is that their daughter’s hurting. Pru says, yeah, in large part because of what the people are saying! (She has a point). Hum says it doesn’t matter; they can’t force Cris to love Val and it’s clear that he doesn’t. Pru says they can talk to him; they can’t just do nothing. Doesn’t he realize they almost lost their daughter? She worked herself into tears again. Hum says yes, of course. He loves his daughter, but it’s clear that she’s desperate; she’ll do anything to keep Cris. But if they want to really help her, they have to be together on this. She has to help him make Val see that she can’t force Cris into this. Pru starts to protest, but Hum gently stops her. Is she with him or not? Pru gives up. Yes, she’s with him. She just hopes they’re not making a mistake that will hurt Val even more.

Cande storms in and is stomping upstairs while Sev asks what happened and is Val ok. Cande pauses to say that, physically, Val is fine. But she cried an ocean and their son doesn’t appear to care! Sev relays Dominga’s message and Cande snaps that she doesn’t want to hear Rob’s name in her house. She glares at Cris and adds “or her daughter’s”. She finishes storming away. Sev calmly turns to Cris and asks what happened. Cris tells him what happened at the church. Sev is surprised, but smirks.

Adelina and PJ are getting home. Adelina’s glad Renato took Aldie out for dinner. PJ is indignant. Adelina agrees. Whatever Rob did to Cande, nothing justifies what Cande did tonight. PJ agrees. He fills Adelina in on the broken engagement. PJ says Al should’ve known this could happen because Cris told her he loved her at the party. Adelina’s shocked. Why didn’t Aldie tell her?! PJ says honestly, nothing would make him happier than to see Aldie married to a nice boy like Cris…but, Adelina finishes, in this town it would be like condemning them to la hoguera (burned at the stake?). PJ agrees, but if that’s what Cris and Aldie want, neither PJ or Adelina can oppose. Adelina is shocked. You mean we’ll have to give them our support?! PJ says there’s a diff between not agreeing with them and going everything they can to stop them. That would be stooping to Cande’s level and that’s the last thing he’d do.

Sev is amused that after over 20 years of guarding her rep and keeping her cool to the point of being frosty, Cande flew off the handle, in a sacred place no less. Cande says a lot of things came together to make her explode. Sev asks sarcastically if she couldn’t have chosen a more public place. The town square perhaps? Cande says that’s exactly why she exploded in the church. It tears her up that Rob’s ashes are there. Sev asks why she still hates Rob after all these years. She’s dead. Cande says Rob ended her only chance at happiness, killed her dreams, and the family she wanted to have. Sev says she makes it sound like the distance between them actually bothers her. Like, maybe, she really was in love with him…

Tomorrow: More fall out. Val puts her manipulator prowess to work.

Recap by HellaShelle

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