Caray, Caray!

In Los Angeles, Roberto and Alicia did a lot of kissing and holding hands and sight-seeing, and they slept on the same bed (in all their clothes) before rushing off to meet the U.S. contact Jose Guadalupe (who is a real slob) and talk about how important family is to U.S. Latinos and that they are bicultural. I don't think those were very subtle observations.

Roberto says she's sexy. She's never slept with a man (she's invisible to them). He admits he hasn't had any action for a long time because his life has been difficult. He's thinking: yeah, I was in prison. She says: oh yes, your sick brother. He is embarrassed but doesn't come clean. I think I need an acronym for this because it happens so often. EBDCC. When it's time to go home she asks if they're going back to status quo ante and he says, basically, yes. They have to be very discreet. "Is it because of Luciana?" "I feel nothing for her. In fact I can't stand her, if you see me with her it's because she is a very hard woman."


Elsa asks Magos to help with her new work. Magos: "I'll think about it. But I need to go out and get some air now. And would you lend me some money?" "I don't have any, imagine." Up comes little Ximena and lends money to her mother! OMG.

Magos meets with some skeez who wants her to fence stuff for him. It turns out later he has "chuladas" (wordreference says that's "coarse things") aka real artificial fur products and all kind of bootleg knockoff purses. "You sell them for me. With your first profits, you pay me for getting you out of jail. After that you keep the rest of the money."

Gumaro says he's been offered a job repairing condos and offices for some government agency.

Elsa shows Lichita a bunch of weird looking clothes she suggests Lichita buy on credit "to invest in upgrading your image."

Roberto gets turned down for the apartment loan due to his criminal record.

At Ikonika Luciana is screaming about being poisoned. She accuses Elsa and/or Lichita - the latter calmly points out it was Chuchette who finished making Luciana's salad that fateful day, "She said she knew just how you liked it!" Chuchette is mortified. "Have a spoonful of your own chocolate," Lichita tells us.

Luciana goes to Sandra to get Elsa fired and Elsa comes in just then. "You wanted to see me?" she asks Sandra. Luciana thinks it's because Sandra wants to fire Elsa. "Don't be an idiot, Luciana. Elsa, I loved that tea you brought me. [That tea had actually made Sandra smile sort of tenderly.] And forget about being on probation, you are permanent now!"

Then Luciana goes to yell at Roberto about the trip to L.A. "I didn't call because my cellphone ran out of battery." My son Ezra has used this bogus excuse on me hundreds of times.

Then somebody comes in asking for travel vouchers for two, so Luciana finds out Alicia went with him, and they have a big laugh together about what a pathetic nerd Alicia is. (Matadita - crummy little loser.) EBDCC. Roberto counsels her not to keep beating on Lichita - "it will spoil the game."

Augusto wants to propose some candidate in front of some advisory board. It needs to be somebody perfect, somebody, in fact, identical to himself. In a luxury hotel somewhere, Chuchette is lounging on his bed waiting for him.

Nestor overhears Alicia telling Braulio that she and Roberto are an item. He runs off and tells Luciana, who tells him it's a big game. She, Chuchette and Nestor sneak into the bushes and take cellphone pictures of Alicia puckering up to Roberto which they circulate through the office.

Alicia comes to Roberto's office and happily announces, "Your aunt Venus is here to see you." Here is one of my favorite moments from this episode.

Roberto embraces Venus, whispering, "I'll explain later." EBDCC.

Elsa comes in and invites Roberto, his brother, and his frosty aunt Venus to come to a meal. "And if your brother needs a special diet due to his infirmities, no problem." When Alicia and Elsa leave, Venus frosts him bad about his lies and says he has five months to come clean to everybody about his criminal record and get his finances squared away.

Sandra tells everybody they've landed the mattress campaign and Duarte is getting it. Duarte gets called to Augusto's office where he's told to sit down but there are no chairs so he sits on the floor and fawns over Augusto while Augusto practically steps on his hands. Roberto points out that earlier Augusto said everybody has to make it on their own merit, but now, nepotism. Augusto responds, "It's a family business and only the family will rise, and your boldness is inching towards stupidity."

Luciana complacently tells Roberto she can influence her uncle and help Roberto win the big promotion as long as he takes care of "all this" meaning her fine cuerpazo.

Gumaro and Robert are jawing when Alicia calls, surprise! Roberto had forgotten about the family meal, but it's all ready. No time to get the wheelchair! So hahah Roberto carries Gumaro in his arms! He drops him.

At the Gutierrez home, Nacho asks "what are your intentions with my daughter?" Roberto bullshits him about taking time to get to know each other until Nacho falls asleep. At the table Ximena asks, does Gumaro work at all? "Or is it like our house with Alicia working her ass off and my mother sitting around watching telenovelas?" [Did you notice there was one of the famous Stairways of Death in the novela Mags was watching?]

There's a flashback of Luciana's engagement to a really old duke who gives her a giant sapphire engagement ring that's been in his family for centuries or whatever. We also see her parents fawning over the duke.

Gumaro finds, and gives to Roberto, the picture of Mateo that Beto took with him to jail. He takes it to work, which is a mistake, because nosy Luciana finds it, turns it over, and asks wonderingly, "Mateo? Who is this little snotnose?"

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Next: Episode 26

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