Caray, Caray!

Marissa announces her engagement with Santi to Isabel. She goes on and on about what a great party she is going to organize. Ma is guardedly elated. Well, maybe not so much. She’s at least polite. She is willing to say that Mari’s hair is a little frizzy though.

Ali is doing yoga and Patsy wants to tell her something after he asks her why she didn’t come to bed last night. She preferred to sleep in her studio. Patsy wants to tell her something important.
Santi sees the sign about the offices for rent outside when Candi asks what’s up. Santi recites the greetings as it should go, and then tells her he’s noting the sign.

Ali asks Patsy what’s the problem. Que the heck, all of a sudden he’s not interested in telling her, tells her to forget it and walks out...

Ali calls Ma and Ma makes fun that her daughters don’t care about her. Ali reminds her two of them are dead and yes she cares. Ma says but you aren’t here, and she says because she’s in Guad with her husband. Ma says are you sure he’s your husband, maybe really he’s not. This freaks out Ali and so she does what every loving daughter does and orders a ticket for her Ma to come to Guad as she wants to speak with her.

Candi and Santi fight over whether or not the offices are for rent.

The kiddies decide they will be novias but not until they grow up. Chavo decides this is in 2 days.
Santi bugs Tio about renting the offices, Meno says he’ll see what he can do for a free operation. Santi says he’ll operate on Tio’s buttocks if he gets him into those offices. Now there’s a lovely thought.

Zamora asks the doc if (I couldn’t even read the damn captions fast enough, sheesh!!!) when he tells women about that stuff do they swoon and he says yes. Zamora tells Tono they are going to now be doctors. Interesting.

Rocio tells Papi about becoming novios and Santi tells her how to e-mail her Mama.

Patsy is asking a professional about how to go about recognizing a child that is about 6 yrs, when Ali comes in and ends that conversation really quick, before he gets an answer. She remarks that here Ma told her something weird, that he's not her husband. He thinks it's like what his Ma says, since they haven't married in the church, then they aren't married.

Isabel is impactada that Rocio wants a boyfriend already. They go to the bedroom and Roci announces she's just received a letter from her Mama (after like 7 years?????) Santi thinks this is great because now she can forget about Marissa. She says that's not even a joke. She had no Mama, and no she has two, and she cares for them both the same.

Santi thinks now they don't have a problem, instead 35 problems. Caray! Isabel asks if Marissa mentioned the wedding and notes he's less than enthused. She also asks Santi why he’s promised to Marissa. He likes the warm bed essentially. Ma says he could get a stuffed bear to keep him company. He is worried that because they are colleagues that if they separate for some reason there will be lawyers and fall out etc. ma reminds him she is a very smart woman and she will find a way to obligate him to stay with her. He thanks her for that comforting advice, he's not a fool. Tickling ensues by Rocio who has come back. Sooo cute.

SAnti nows stalks Candi on the street but this time he wants to talk to her as a parent. She doesn't buy this, but he struggles to tell her that her son wants to be his daughter's novio.

A mob piles out of an elevator and we see that Patsy goes to see Sole and collects the birth certificate, I guess to register Beto as his. Ali is stalking him in her bright red auto and sees this meeting and wonders what's up.

We learn that Beto is a Pumas fan because of his "father", Pat greets him and wishes luck to him for the Pumas. (Note that this team is a rival of America, the team Pat likes)

In the zocalo, Lucia meets up with Charly and he is excited she came. He hasn't found work yet because everyone wants someone 18 years old with experience, but he is close, 17 and a half. Well, 17 and half a month. Lucia willingly gives him her telephone number and tells him not to give up. They joke.

Santi notes that Candi isn't feeling well, he notes she has no temperature and she indicates that's the only good thing. She recites all that is wrong and that Pat will soon discover she's alive and when he does he'll take away her son. Santi swears he knows the best lawyers and won't let that happen.

Just then Mari and Roci call and blackmail him into coming to the park.

Lulu teases Candi that she was with "her doctor." Candi says he's not hers, but Lulu says if she doesn't want him she should send her double in in her place. Yes, Lulu says she is Candi's double, two Candies, and double her size. Sigh...

At the park, Marissa tells Santi that she and Chio are getting along famously and that she even called her Mama isn't that great? Hmmm Santi is not as warm about this, she tells him he should hug her.

She returns to the house just in time to watch Rocio and now it's Isabel's turn to exchange a number. She has to go out and leaves instructions.

Ali is worrying about where her Ma got off too because they have confirmed that the plane has arrived.

Charly is chatting with Zamora about getting Luci's digits when Candi's Ma shows up and shouts that "you killed my daughter". Zamora, who is standing in front of Tio Meno and holding up a knife thinks she's talking to him, but of course she's talking to Meno and in the next scene he tells Zamora this and to take a hike. He complains she should confront him about such things in private.

This conversation continues and Ma accuses that since he was dead of course he helped Candi "die" too. He says it was Candi's idea and he only protected her like a good uncle. She hurls that his "sickness" has ruined the whole family. He says to be gay is not a sickness, it's a lifestyle choice or "option of life". I suppose depending how you interpret this, it was an interesting characterization to me, because I think many would argue that it's not a "choice" exactly, rather a state of being. Regardless, Ma isn't buying it and insists he's sick. He says she's the sick one, he's chosen freedom and without regrets.

We go to the restaurant where Isabel learns her friend can't make it. She sits near the piano player and is thrilled that he is playing Chopin. He kids that she might be Ingrid Bergman and introduces himself as Jaime.

Candi and Tio are chatting about the office rental sign again when guess who shows up but our Doc Plastico who offers a whole years advance on the rent. This causes Candi to flashback to getting the news of her sisters death by plastic surgeon hand and she shouts no way is he renting. This conversation turns into a war over who will use the space, she says she's going to start her institute for the soul again and that she is going to compete against him for all of his patients. Blah Blah Blah they agree it's war and tear up the sign.

Ali moves in for the kill as she has now visited Sole to ask what Pat was doing there. Beto rushes over offering that he is a friend of his Ma's. Hmm, how friendly. Sole sends him off so they can talk like adults. Now there's some irony.

Revisit of the argument the high point of which is that Doc ends up telling Meno to forget about his buttocks. Candi can't believe he sold out for some buttocks. He tries to brush it off that the flesh is weak and the buttocks as well....she stomps off.


Ali reveals Pat is her husband and wants to know what's up. Sole ends up telling her that look psycho chica, I used to work with his Pa who send him here to bring me some papers. He couldn't come himself. All of a sudden Ali is happy, understands and leaves. Que the heck. I'm thinking she thinks that Sole is having an affair with Arturo. Guess we'll find out.

Jaime and "Chabeli" are getting on well, chatting about dead spouses and Chopin. Turns out he would like to see her again. Her answer to this is to give him a tiny photo, the first one she gave him must have been wrong as she had a mustache so she changes it.

Meno agree to help Candi in her war against plastic doc but only if he can be a salsa teacher in the institute. If not, he rents to the doc. Of course she agrees despite the blackmail.

Zamora says something about Don Meno being the king of the butterflies while he dances.

Santi kvetches to Mari about the rental dispute and he learns that she also works for Mari's bro as the columnist of Stupid women don't go to heaven. Mari wants him to stop talking about her or she will cut off his tongue.

Sole calls Pat to tell him of Ali's stalking. he is in a spa getting one heck of a massage.

Candi and Lulu are chatting at lunch she needs to eat greens, and Santi will not forget Candi

Zamora is trying out his great idea to be friend of doc Plas to get a girl. It doesn't work, he gets a slap.

The girls try on boots etc. Seems Santi and Mari are shopping too and arguing about something and Candi. Of course these folks are going to meet up. Sure enough they do when he and Mari decide to go into the dressing room together. Candi recognizes his voice and looks in on them then runs off. He screams that he saw her. He doesn't find her in the room next to them though and Mari is skeptical of course.

We now go to the arguing about why Ma took so long to arrive. Anyway, Ali wants to know why she says Patsy isn't her hubby. She does break out with the whole church things, and Ali says whatever, he is mine.

This was great. Isabel comes out as the hippie she wishes she was, but they have a Joan Baez song in Spanish dubbed singing over her. The house workers are thrilled at her "costume." I don't know, I'm thinking she's too old to have been a hippie, but what do I know.

Ma tells Ali she had such a real dream that she was hugging Candi, Ali is freaked out about all the dead people talk.

Eduardo's wife shows up and chats with Horty about maybe having her bubis done secretly. Some nice boobies never hurt anyone Horty tells her.She ends up taking a bank statement that comes for her hubby.


Candi again expresses to Tio that she is concerned about Pat discovering her and taking away her kid. Despite him telling her it's hard to take away a kid from his own Ma, she says he has money and lots of power. I guess that is evident from the red Ferrari that he drives around in Mexico. That takes cajones for sure.

Labels: Tontas

Buenas noches a todos.

Alternate titles:
Can you donate blood if it contains fire?
How many sherry-soaked brains does it take to reach a verisimilitude?

How convenient that Ricky happened to break and enter into the Elizondo home just as Gabi was getting all hot and bothered after listening in on all the fun they were having in the next room over. However, rooms turn over rather quickly at this joint, and it’s not really “prudent” for Ricky and Gabi to see that Fernie tied Ricky’s daughter to the bed post and used the vino tinto as a personal lubricant. Root sits naked on the bed, feeling betrayed, bewildered, but mostly sexy and amazed. She ponders her sexual appeal to middle-aged “hacendados” and wonders why her other gentleman friend came to wake her.

Unfortunately for Gabi, Ricky didn’t come for a quickie. Mostly, he’s just pissed that he saw Juan kissing his daughter. “Imaginate.” The son of his arch-nemesis kissing his only daughter. How could she be so lucky? Gabi coyly reminds him that Robles-Reyes was only a mere rival; which makes the kissing all the more appropriate. For the love of his daughter he slapped the shit out of Juan. Oh, how he loves his daughter. Gabi: “If he only knew that Root isn’t his daughter.” And to think, all the sadistic beatings and “wine showers” he missed… At least he has the comfort of knowing that his thoughts were not wholly incestuous, but merely unrealistic considering his age.

Another episode, another failed attempt of Raquel to pass for Judy Garland. Mainly it’s the hair and outfit, downing narcotics with Johnny Walkers, and competing with her much more qualified and talented daughter for a place in the audience’s heart. Now, like our beloved Judy, she’s hit rock bottom and wants to confess to Pad Tad. This alone could send her on the Farewell Tour that never stops farewelling…

It seems that the adopted kid is still having diabetic problems, or whatever they “think” she might have. Because it’s been over two weeks and they haven’t found anything, they’re sending tests to Puebla, which at most, would be like sending test results to Hattiesburg, Mississippi. (Holla to all the Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans)

So Raquel gets on her knees and starts talking about Root. Here we go... Before she can continue, Pad Tad rudely interfjects that he already knows that Root is Eva’s daughter. Woa, woa, woa! This is HER confession, buddy. Yes, Pad Tad is a bigger town gossip than the local gas-station clerk, and is always on top of the ever-changing, local genealogy. Shot down, once again. Raquel tells Pad Tad that Root is NOT the daughter of Eva, but the daughter of Gabi… OMG! This will make him the most popular priest on Facebook! Now he knows even more scandalous, albeit obvious, information which he can undoubtedly share with his fellow clergy and patrons at the next Swiss Steak Bingo Hall.

Here’s my thing: looking at all the women on this show, it’s obvious that they weren’t turning tricks in the dark every night of their bygone youth. So I ask, with full comprehension that Sofia is the “smart one” in the family; how could you finally get lucky after years of useless flirting, carry a kid for nine months, pop the thing out one crazy, forgotten night, and then have no inclination whatsoever if the local Hoochie Mamma might be the biological fruit of your loins? Think about it, because I know these idiots didn’t…

Well, we know that whatever Miss Judy slurs to Pad Tad must be true because the subsequent scene is Gabi telling Ricky how much Root is like her. I mean, after all, they are so similar, they would have to be mother and daughter, right? Surely Root would make a better daughter than Sofia, so why not trade babies thirty years later? It would be like the ultimate layaway program, ever.

The story goes like this, props to you if you guessed it: One sunny day, Raquel was holding Eva’s baby while nobody else was home. Hmm… She was really itching for her 10:30 Cosmo and ciggie, so you can imagine how nervous she was. Just then, she suddenly remembered that Gabi’s newborn was left unattended in the next room over. From the bridge of the nose and the seemingly flat forehead, Raquel instantly knew that that kid would sell much easier on the black market (I mean, it’s real estate after all). So, to spite Gabi, but mostly because she had a killer hang over, Raquel switched the black-haired kid for the bald kid. They were both in white blankets, and nobody around was conscious, so what’s the prob.? Then, apparently (remember, we're getting this from a drunk), Gabi took advantage of Raquel’s drunken fit, and refused to return Sofia unless Raquel gave her the Robles-Reyes land because it came with a damn-good watering system. After carefully weighing her options and deciding that Root could do much better on the black market than an easily-replaceable sprinkler system, she said “NO DEAL.”
After finding that Root didn’t sell as quickly as she anticipated, Raquel’s been resenting that decision for years. But, these things happen when you lose consciousness before noon (Like I always say, that’s when you know you have a problem.). That’s why, with the grace of God, she wants to change. Now I can officially say; like Jesus, and Liza, and Judy, Raquel is making a comeback.

Pad Tad is reflecting on today’s very important and scandalous confession from a former alcoholic and substance abuser. He laughs as he reminds himself that God’s mysterious paths always end up working-out for (mostly) everyone. That is, unless the miraculous paths interweave and end in turmoil and disaster. He looks for his friend on his left shoulder, he’s not there. He looks for the other friend on his right shoulder, not there either. These disappearances ignite a painful, albeit obviously insightful, memory. It was when Rosendo, the ubiquitous and multi-purpose ranch hand, informed Pad Tad that Ricky was scheming to kill the Robles-Reyes. Damn it, he says, why didn’t I listen to him and Raquel? God, as always, fill me with the light so that I can help these hopelessly desperate, witlessly insane people. God, please don’t unleash Pad Tad on these helplessly desperate morons—you saw what happened last time… and the time before...

Just when poor, alcoholic, border-line suicidal Raquel had clung-on to a bit of the false hope Pad Tad miraculously instilled in her, she walked in on Ricky and Gabi mindlessly and passionately making suck face. If this doesn’t push her over the rainbow’s edge, I don’t know what will…

And another thing, you don’t just walk-in on people while they’re in their own home. I mean seriously, you wouldn’t just walk up to any old hacienda and decide to go in without knocking or asking to enter it. And another thing, did Raquel actually think Ricky was being a faithful husband? Though, her poor sherry-soaked brain probably didn’t know the difference…

Root shivers with sensuality and excitement as she remembers the “special” way Fernie tied her delicate wrists to that hard, sturdy bed post and made a woman out of her by pouring cool, sweet merlot over her white-hot, lily skin. The thrusting, the banging; it all seemed so surreal. No one has ever made her feel so alive, so feminine. What a shame that he’s Gabi’s husband; surely, she could never fully appreciate all his manhood.

What is it with these people? They “can’t sleep” so they drink even more booze and start expressing themselves through art. Well, I guess it's not as bad as booze AND ambien. Fernie’s rendition of Capricho looks like something a paraplegic first grader made with his eyes closed. Gabi ruined the mood, so he crosses-out his refrigerator-quality work with charcoal. Basically, both have moved on to bigger and better pastures while still holding strong to the simply unachievable, unrealistic, and un-fun image of monogamy. By pretending to be hurt by each other’s deceiving ways, they perpetuate their misery and failing image of a functional marriage. (Am I dramatic or cynical? Only time will tell...)

Now the adopted kid is in the hospital and like every other time someone goes to the hospital on this show, she “might not make it.” Well, slap my ass and call me Sally, I sure as hell hope the kid doesn’t make it, then all my problems would be solved, says Gabi.

As if Raquel hadn’t already reached rock-bottom, the kid she knows as her “daughter” tells her to get packing, and never return to see her again. Somehow, Raquel is strong enough to get up in Gabi’s grill and express whatever catty feelings her alcoholism had left inside her. Gabi is not surprised by Root’s behavior; after all, it’s just like something she would do. And sure as hell, while she’s got little Root in her hands, she’ll channel her evil powers in order to get what she wants. She then comes to the realization that Raquel is not her arch-nemesis, but that damn Eva, who happens to be…what?... you guessed it, praying. She simply does not understand why she feels this inexplicable maternal bond to Sofia.

Back at the hospital, they finally found out what was wrong with the kid; she isn’t Juan’s or Sofia’s biological kid. That was the problem…! No, actually, we already knew it; see, we adopted her out of love. Bull shit. You “adopted” her because you wanted your real kid, but you didn’t want to put all three through DNA testing because you’d look like hypocritical morons. Yes, even you two idiots drummed-up enough intelligence to think that one through. Too late, though. Well, even though you’re not her “real father” you’re still good enough to donate your blood to her. Sofia would just die if her daughter dies, I mean, who would take care of her when she gets old, who would she bitch slap every time she got drunk, and who would she have to swap or sell in case she needed drug money or sprinkler systems?

It’s time for the transplant. Things go from bad to ugly to worse when Juan’s baby’s heartbeat lowers two beats/minute. It’s terribly dramatic. Juan even prays for the heartbeat to raise two beats. My question is; how can you donate blood if it has fire in it?

Tomorrow: We all know that Juan would give his last drop of blood for his daughter (?). That’s why the transplant is crucial. But will they survive? Let’s hope not… Though, something tells me that they probably will…

That’s it, kiddies. Sayonara. I’m off for a two-week hiatus in Cozumel. Maybe I’ll find myself and “grow-up,” as some of you have suggested. Doubt it!!!

Until then, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year! And to all a good night!

Labels: Fuego

Amador goes to visit Marichuy and walks into the house. Micaela tells Amador that the baby will be arriving in about 15 days which makes the snake smile.

JM is trying to hypnotise Viv so that he can get info on her whereabouts while she was presumed dead. Unfortunately her cellphone rings and it wakes her up. It's Estephania informing her that the baby will be coming soon.

Cande's teases Marichuy about the name the village people are calling the baby. Marichuy is not finding it funny. Cande asks her if she has picked out a name for the little chamaco yet. Marichuy wants to name the baby after JM.

Viv continues talking to Estephania while JM is still in the room. He is not happy.

Marichuy continues to talk about her choice of name for the baby. She wonders how JM will react when he finds out about the baby. Cande asks her if she is worried that JM will take the baby away from her. Of course responds Marichuy. What if it is a girl? Will you call her Maria de Jesus? No another name. Marichuy starts tearing up thinking that she and JM will not be together. She will go in one path and he in another.

JM asks Viv what Estephania wanted. Viv lies and tells him Estephania was inviting her out. Viv gets up to leave and JM asks her where she is going. She wants to dress up and perhaps go out and asks him if wants to accompany her.

Marichuy is talking to her belly about JM. Micaela shows up and asks if she is up for visitors. It's Amador.

JM tells Viv that she is sick. Only my memories responds Viv and that will not interfere with wanting to have fun. She again says that by them both going out together it could help her get better. JM finally relents and tells her that he will be taking her out that night. She is happy. JM is pissed off thinking that Viv is playing with him. He wonders why fate gave him Viv and not Marichuy.

The cute doctor is examining Rocio and says that she can leave the hospital tomorrow. He reminds Rocio of the promise she made to him that he would be the first one to take her out.

Amador is informing Isa that the baby will be born in about 15 days.

Micaela wants to know if Marichuy wants Amador to come to the room to visit her. Marichuy says no I will get up and go into the living room. Micaela starts to protest, but Marichuy cuts her off and says that the doctor told her to rest not stay in bed all day. She gets up and starts in again about the pain. Micaela starts to panic and Marichuy laughs and says just kidding.

Amador tells Isa to call Estephania and tell her that the baby will be born in 15 days. He hangs up quickly when Marichuy walks in. She asks what he is doing here. He wanted to find out how she is doing and to talk to her. Marichuy says I want to talk to you too and find out about the folks back home. How is JM?

Estephania calls Viv that the baby will not be born yet as she first thought.

Amador says that he has no contact with JM. He hears about him thru the folks that visit Rocio in the hospital. She also wants to find out how Mayita and Cuate are doing. She tells Amador that Mayita is so cute and she looks like JM. She wonders if her child will look like him and how she wants to tell JM about the baby. She wonders out loud if Mayita told JM about the baby. Amador says that JM is probably to busy with his wife trying to get her better. This sobers up Marichuy.

Estephania explains to Viv that she had false labor pains and that the baby will be born in 15 days. Viv says that 2 weeks will pass quickly. Estephania asks Viv if they are still going out for coffee, but Viv tells her that she will be going out with JM tonight. Estephania does not look happy about this.

Amador asks Marichuy about her plans after she has the baby. Will El Leopard be coming back when the baby is born? She does not know when he will be returning but hopes that he does. She trusts him and tells him that El Leopard is really nice. Amador tells Marichuy that when the baby comes to let him know so that he can be there. I guess she promised that she would. He tells her that he cares for her not like a woman, but an actress. (I cannot believe that she buys this crap)

JM is dragging Viv out of the taxi. They both looked intoxicated. She cannot walk so he has to pick her up and carry her. (I had hoped that he would have dropped her)

Marichuy does not know if she can be an actress after the baby is born. She wants to take care of the baby. Amador says you can still devout time to your craft, because the baby will not be a hinderence.

JM is carrying Viv into her bedroom and they both fall on the bed. JM tries to get up, but Viv will not let him. She starts kissing on him and he mumbles about going back to his room. She starts talking crap, but JM is passed out drunk. She starts to undress him. The next morning she leaves the room smiling while JM is still asleep on the bed. She walks into the kitchen and asks that breakfast be sent up to her room for her and JM. As she walks back upstairs to the bedroom she comes across Blanca. Viv tells her that the other day she gave her a look of such disdain it looked like she wanted to kill her. Do you have any mental problems? I don't like that you are watching my daughter. Blanca tries to defend herself but Viv yells at her that she is now in a position to voice all her concerns and make any decisions.

Marichuy is in bed dreaming and she has a nightmare that she is holding her baby and several people enter the room trying to take away her baby. She kicks and screams at them. She wakes up crying and clutches her belly.

JM finally wakes up in Viv's bed and sees his clothes thrown on the dresser. Viv walks into the room and informs JM that she has ordered breakfast. JM asks Viv what happened last night. Well what happens between a man and a woman when they are married she replies. JM is muy impactado.

Marichuy tells Cande about her dream. She has a premonition that something bad will happen when the baby is born. Cande consoles her.

Viv is telling him how sweet and passionate he was and how wonderful it was last night while they were doing the deed. JM is disgusted and storms out of the room.

Cande and Marichuy are having breakfast in their room and Marichuy asks if she knows when El Leopard will be coming back. She says again how nervous she is about the baby.

JM is telling Eduardo about what happened last night. He cannot remember anything and he has tried. Eduardo tells JM that now he has to except Viv as his wife in every sense of the word and live a married life with her.

Estephania congradulates Viv on bedding JM. She asks if JM is happy about all this. Viv admits that JM does not remember last night. Estephania says well now we need to find out if that is true. (them having nookie last night) Viv asks if she thinks she is lying with Estephania reponding that Viv is the master in that area. Viv assures her that it is all true. It was all good and now he is finally my husband in every sense of the word.

Mayita tells Abuela that her mother does not care for her. She never checks to see how she is and does not let Blanca tuck her in at night.

JM says that he cannot be with Viv like before since knowing Marichuy. Before he had to put up with her because of duty. Eduardo asks if Viv had every intention of getting him drunk to have her dirty way with him.

Marichuy asks Cande if she knows when El Leopard will be coming back.

Balbina and another maid are taking JM's clothes from his room into the master bedroom. Viv tells Onelia that all is well. Onelia is happy.

JM asks Balbina what they are doing with his clothes. She says Viv told her to remove the clothes and put them in the master bedroom. JM says hell no, put them back. He storms into the bedroom and asks why she told Balbina to move the clothes. Viv tells him for convience. Why have your clothes in another room when you will be staying here? JM informs Viv that he has ordered all his belongings back into the other room. Viv says that all his things are already in the master bedroom and that is where it will stay. JM pleads with Onelia to talk to her daughter, but Onelia leaves instead. Viv asks JM why he is acting that way. After last night she thought that things would be back to the way they use to be between them. JM tells her that he does not believe that anything happened last night.

Back in fantasyland Abuela tells Mayita to have patience with her mother.

Viv asks JM why he is talking to her like that. JM tells her that if they did the deed last night, it will be the one and only time it happened. Because it will not happen again. Why asks Viv, we are married and I love you. Mayita will be happy to have another sibling. JM looks at her like were the hell did that come from?

Cande finishes her bowl of soup and tells Marichuy that she does not know when El Leopard will be returnning. But soon due to a problem with an irrigation system (?)

JM tells Viv let's make a deal. I will behave as your husband if you agree to be hypnotised.

Marichuy is in her room playing with a basket of ribbon and the door opens up and Marichuy jumps up and says "Tu, eres tu!" In walks El Leopard and she rushes to give him a hug. She is happy to see him and vice versa.

Amador is talking to Isa and Estephania about the plan.

Marichuy and El Leopard are talking about the impeding birth of her little chamaco. He says that he heard she was feeling ill and she tells him what the doctor told her. She is speaking really fast and El Leopard is trying to keep up with what she is saying.

At castle San Roman, Rocio has finally returned home and Balbina greets her. Viv comes down the stairs and pretends that she does not remember her. JM is observing all this. Rocio asks where Mayita is. JM tells her that the nanny has her. Rocio goes up to her room. Viv wants to talk to JM. She wants to let the nanny go because she thinks she has mental problems. She feels scared. JM laughs at this and defends Blanca. He says that Blanca will be staying.

Marichuy and El Leopard are outside talking (with that damn bird on her shoulder) and he tells her that something compelled him to come back right away. He had a premonition that something bad was going to happen to her.

JM is in the library and Estephania walks in and offers her congradulations. He interrupts her and asks why she is telling Viv things that she does not need to know. Why did she tell Viv about what happened to him and Marichuy in the past? Estephania tells him that she did not say anything about that to Viv. JM says I don't believe you. Estephania fires back that I have always been loyal to you and to prove it, I am going to tell you something. I know where Marichuy is. (Holy toledo, I so did not expect that. What was she thinking?)


Tomorrow: JM tells Ceci that Estephania knows where Marichuy is.

Labels: Cuidado

Regurgitated: Vituperous Viv tells Onelia she’s sure Juan Miguel is seeing some woman; Stefi told her that she saw him with some French dame at a bar. Viv is going to follow him and let him know what’s what.

Marichuy tells Cande that Amador has come to visit again. Cande is shocked that he would come back after she told him not to. Marichuy tells her that he wants to know when the baby is born so he can be nearby. They can’t figure out why he is so interested. The two unsuccessful fugitives fret.

Fresh and tarty: Ivette is in Blanca’s room, all dressed up for a night of skanking around. She goes to the closet and takes out a shiny silver dagger (I think? I know nothing of weaponry) and tucks it under a red ribbon around her thigh, under her dress.

Onelia follows Viv toward the castle door, begging her not to do what she has in mind. Viv insists that JM is not going to deceive her. She is surely going to catch him with that woman. She reminds Onelia that he doesn’t know that she disappeared and hid from him deliberately. In a very loud voice. Right there in the Foyer Confessional. Too bad Juan Miguel wasn’t hiding behind a Magic Lollipop Tree to hear all that. Onelia asks Viv to be careful.

Ivette greets Juan Miguel at Ivette’s Casa de Creepiness. I don’t know why she needed to get the dagger at the other place if she was coming right to the armory. He sits down and she massages his shoulders and gets him a drink. She asks if he’s falling in love with her and he says forget it, it will never happen, he is a married man and will not divorce his wife. Ivette asks if he loves his wife and he says he’s in love with another woman whom he lost and cannot have, but staying married is a moral obligation.

JM’s moral obligation enters the brightly-lit bar and orders a drink, thinking to herself that they will show up soon.

But…they are still at Ivette’s place, where our Man of High Morals is getting fondled up and down while discoursing on his emotional state. He says that Viv is sick, so he feels sorry for her, and also sorry that he can’t return her affection, but it’s hard to try to love her when he’s still in love with someone else and bitter and remorseful that he ruined that relationship. Besides, he remembers that Viv wanted to divorce him earlier, but he didn’t want a divorce because he wanted to maintain his home life as it was. JM reminds Ivette that she will get nowhere with him, and if he thinks the situation is getting dangerous, he won’t see her anymore. Dude, you’re repeatedly seeing a woman who won’t keep her hands to herself, makes no secret of the fact that she wants you, and holds knives to your throat. Where exactly do you draw the line at “dangerous”?

Viv returns to the castle and tells her ma that she was following JM but lost him, and he never showed up at the bar. She’s sure he’s with that woman somewhere, though. Onelia tells her to let it be, but Viv insists that she needs some ammunition to use against JM so he won’t force her to have hypnosis. I don’t think you can really be hypnotized against your will (at least that’s what the hypnotist at school assemblies used to tell us), so she should just agree to it and then say it didn’t work. Viv gets a bright idea.

Francisco and Luisa nervously await Elsa’s arrival. The doorbell rings, and they stand around and discuss whether it could be her rather than going to see. It is Elsa, and she is all teary and apologizes for having a ruined marriage and coming back. They say no apologies are necessary, and don’t quite manage to hide their delight that she has left Nelson and returned to them.

Viv enlists Onelia’s help in her plan. She wants to know what the big secret is in JM’s past. Onelia hedges and doesn’t want to tell her. Could it be that Onelia will be the first to flip from devil to angel? Well, she is maybe only just edging that direction. She tells Viv that he committed an indiscretion (deslizo). While he was married to me? Viv is astonished, but more nosy than hurt.

Marichuy lies in bed and talks to herself. She’s afraid of Amador, and she doesn’t know why he keeps following her.

Onelia tells Viv what she knows of the story, that there was an incident with the girl, but it actually didn’t go very far and he was just following her to try to apologize. Viv says it doesn’t matter. She insults her husband and says now she’s got him in her hands. I don’t know what kind of blackmail material that is if pretty much everyone already knows about it.

Elsa and Beatriz sit outside drinking coffee. Elsa laments that her marriage to Nelson was sad and bitter. She wasn’t thinking clearly when she married that useless, lazy idealist. But, now she’s gotten over her illusions, and she’s realized she should never have left Eduardo, who is smart and hardworking and supportive (just say it, Elsa—he has money!), and now that she isn’t blinded she is going to try to rebuild her life. Beatriz sips her drink to avoid discussing her own love of Eduardo.

Speak of the handsome devil, and he appears. Ed walks out onto the patio holding a bouquet of flowers. Beatriz smiles and stands up, but he hands the flowers to Elsa and Beatriz sits down, disappointed. Ed welcomes Elsa home and then asks Beatriz how she is. Beatriz excuses herself, and they try to get her to stay, but she says they have a lot to talk about. She leaves and Ed and Elsa look at each other significantly, and if I’m not mistaken Ed licked his lips. I don’t know why he bothers with her, she was never nice to him even when they were engaged. (P.S. Ed, call me instead. I’m pretty sure I will never cheat on you with a pretentious, lazy poet.)

Juan Miguel walks heavily down the stairs of Castle San Roman in what looks like the same shirt as the night before. Blanca stops him and whisperingly reports the conversation she overheard, wherein Stef told Viv he was with the French Maiden (well, okay…unlikely a maiden) at the bar. He looks confused as to why he isn’t getting away with this.

Isabel and Stefi sit on some steps and drink booze. They toast to the success of their plan thus far.

JM thanks Blanca for keeping him informed, and says she must not think much of him, going out with another woman. She says she doesn’t get paid to think; she’s just an employee and has no right to judge him; her only goal is to keep the family intact and functional for Mayita’s sake. Also, she wants him to be happy. He says his happiness lies in Marichuy’s hands, and she has left him forever. He’ll never be happy again.

Stefi tells Isabel about seeing JM and Ivette in the bar. They cackle. Then they laugh about Marichuy, and if she thinks she’s going to use her baby to get Juan Miguel back, well, she’ll be left with “un palmo de narices,” by which she obviously means with not much but I can’t tell you why that phrase means that. I did learn from my slang dictionary that “narices” is sometimes used as a euphemism for “cojones.” They continue to babble at each other in “…my pretty…” witch voices.

Some time later, as in months, we are back at the hacienda, and Marichuy is looking big and wearing maternity clothes and knitting something pretty. She drops the knitting and says, “aaaayyyy” and Micaela asks her what’s wrong. Marichuy just clutches her large belly. Mica decides that Marichuy is in labor and helps her to the sofa and yells for Cande/Lala, Nacho, and Cosme.

All these months later, Estafa is still living on the Velarde largesse. She is sitting on the lawn at the mansion doing yoga when Ceci comes out to tell her that she is going over to Castle San Roman, aka Casa de Locos, Nadie Curado, to visit Viviana. Stef looks all twitchy about that.

At the Hacienda, Micaela is covering Marichuy’s legs with a blanket and fanning her face and telling her to breathe deeply and to pant like a dog. Basically she has no clue what to do. Cande is no help either, just insisting that it’s not time yet. Micaela wants to get Nacho to bring the truck to take Mari to the hospital in town, but Cande says he’s not around; he’s gone shopping. Mari continues to yell in pain and Mica runs off to see what she can rustle up. Cande wants Mari to move to her bed, but Mari would rather just stay where she is, thanks.

At the Crazy Castle, Balbina tells Viv that Ceci has come to visit her, and Viv remember to pretend she doesn’t know who Ceci is.

Marichuy is in agony and begs Cande not to leave her. They lament that Omar/Leopardo still hasn’t returned; he’s been gone much longer than he said. Now she worries that she’ll have to deliver her baby there, with no assistance. There has got to be SOMEONE out of all the people on that hacienda who knows something about delivering babies. Or they should call Eduardo and have him give instructions. Mica returns and says she’s summoned Nacho. Marichuy worries that the baby won’t survive. The camera lingers on her belly for a long time with a heartbeat sound for accompaniment.

Ceci and Viv talk about Marichuy and her relationship to various parties. Viv says she knows Marichuy was married to JM for one day and wants to know what happened between them. Ceci looks pained.

Marichuy looks even more pained. Cande and Mica try to convince her that everything’s going to be fine, while they just hope that Nacho comes soon with the truck.

Ceci tells Viv how desperately she’s tried to find her daughter and appeals to Viv’s maternal feelings for help with any information which could lead to her return. Unfortunately for both Ceci and Mayita, Viv does not have maternal feelings. She says she can’t help.

Marichuy’s contractions have subsided, and the three ladies alternately pray, try to convince themselves the pains won’t return, that it wasn’t real labor, just anxiety, Leo is going to return in time, everything is going to be just fine.

Ceci says goodbye to Viv as Juan Miguel arrives to say hello. Ceci flees and JM and Viv have a staring contest.

Marichuy sleeps on the couch and dreams of having her baby and Juan Miguel, all happy and together.

Isab!tch and Amador laugh that Ceci is going everywhere asking about Marichuy. They agree that Viv won’t say anything, because she has the most motive for keeping Marichuy away. Amador says that he’s still having Mari watched, and the baby hasn’t arrived yet.

I guess Viv won the staring contest. She tells JM that Ceci was asking her if she knows where Marichuy is, ha ha, isn’t that funny, how would Viv know? JM feels sorry for Ceci, missing her daughter. And what about you?, Viv asks. You know we split up for good, he says. It must be so hard, after a love of so many years!, she retorts. What? She says she knows they hadn’t just met.

Nacho and some other farmhand finally arrive and hold their hats and stare at Marichuy like she’s dead. Mari insists that she’s fine now, and the baby isn’t going to be born yet. What do you know about it?, asks Cande. They still want to take her to the hospital but she insists she doesn’t want to go, she just wants to go to bed. Nacho decides that they should at least bring the doctor there. Will it be the old one, or the drunk?

Juan Miguel admits to Viv that he committed an error in the past, but he’s been paying for it ever since with his upright and miserable life. Viv says she’s the one who has paid; he is so cold to her. He claims that if she were different, he would never have looked at another woman.

The ladies help Marichuy into bed. Mari tells Cande about her dream of being with JM. They both cry.

JM and Viv continue to attempt to assign blame for their miserable marriage. It’s all depressing and nothing we don’t already know, so I’m going to skip recounting it, but JM notes that it’s remarkable that Viviana can dredge up all this history when supposedly she remembers nothing. He threatens her that sooner or later he is going to find out what she was doing all that time she was gone.

JM walks into the house and Ed has just arrived. JM tells him it’s like Ed fell from heaven! That’s what I think, too, but it sounds a little funny coming from JM. Anyway, Juan Miguel thinks Viv’s behavior is strange; why is she refusing a treatment which could help her? Ed asks whether he thinks she’s faking, and Juan Miguel says they have to find out.

Viv, wearing a shirt dress that I think was meant to be just a shirt, whines to her mommy that her husband is going to find out she’s lying to him. Mom is worried that he’ll figure out Onelia was the one who told her about Marichuy, but Viv says they’ll just say Stef did it. I like that as a plan. For everything. Just blame Stef.

JM tells Ed he shouldn’t hypnotize Viv without her permission, but he needs to fight with the same weapons as the enemy, and yes, he does consider Viv his enemy. He is going to hypnotize her. Eduardo advises him to think carefully before he does anything and looks concerned.

Onelia warns Viv that JM will leave her if he knows the truth. Viv doesn’t believe it. Viv is summoned to the room with the fireplace by JM. He has a metronome all set up, and tells her to watch it; it’s therapy. I guess a pocketwatch would have been way too obvious, but I wonder why they even own a metronome. I mean, I own one, but I used to take piano lessons. I never even thought to hypnotize people with it. He sips coffee while watching her get veeeerrrry sleepy.

The villanous vixens get on the horn to share the news that Marichuy has had contractions but still no baby, and what luck, Leo hasn’t yet returned! Ceci interrupts Stef’s glee by returning home, crying over another dead end. She asks Stef very pointedly whether she REALLY doesn’t know where Marichuy is.

The somewhat oldish doctor, who may or may not be a drunk, tells Marichuy that everything will be fine, but recommends bed rest. He thinks the baby will be born within a fortnight. They all look astonished at that news for some reason. Is that still early? We don’t know.

Stef insists she knows nothing, but can’t look Ceci in the eyes while she says it. Ceci looks suspicious.

Marichuy eats soup in bed. The baby is still not born. Amador arrives at the hacienda, where unfortunately the peasants do not have orders to shoot on sight. He asks Micaela about the baby. She is not happy to see him but reports that there is still no news.

JM encourages Viv to relax and sleep. She keeps staring at the metronome and her eyes close.

Avances: Juan Miguel might learn of Viv’s cabana-boy-murdering? The hijo is born, and Marichuy fights off demons which may be imaginary.

Labels: Cuidado

The picture is merely a joyous family enjoying each other's company on Sunday in case you have forgotten what that might look like. The beanies should be arriving soon.

Subtitle: Three Seductions and an Operation?

I am still looking for someone to take four Tuesday nights starting Jan. 13 through Feb.3, 2009. I don't know the end date of Fuego yet so it will be 4 times of Fuego or a combination with Fuego and the new telenovela, which I think is Mañana es Para Siempre starring our (no es feo) Fernando Colunga and many other favorites like Lucero and that gold medal winner of the cell phone hurl, Sergio Sendel. But there are 207 episodes per Wikipedia so my estimate is that this will end about the 20th of February if there are approximately 49 episodes left depending on how they handle the two part finale, and we have some breaks for Christmas and New Year's weeks.

The night begins one more sorry time with the sisters Elizondo's playing hard to get or impossible to get but wait there are other suckers out there to take up the slack.

Feo threatens the ex-jail bird that he pinned the Bernie killing on, but in turn is threatened by Padre Tad looking plenty mad. Gabriela is told by Raquel about Ricardo's abusive behavior toward his beloved Ruth. Ricardo will be the sociopath we all know him to be if he finds out that Root is not his, Raquel opines.

Gabriela looks in the mirror and says I am the most beautiful in the land, and the most powerful and thinks about poisoned apples, no, no, different story.

Pad Tad and Feo face off with mutually menacing threats, scudding clouds tell us this isn't headed to a happy choir practice session.

Uncle reads the riot act to the Reyez boyz for their disgusting behavior and mistaken conclusions about the death of their parents, he chides Juan for letting Sofia's harvest be ruined because he has denied her hacienda water. Oscar shows us how jealous looks even sober, But he won't listen to Tio about letting her go to someone else if he can't be happy with her.

Rosendo shows up to plead with Juan about the harvest. Rosendo is pained but doesn't know why Juan and Sofia can't get happy. Juan tells him that he has his parents death by Bernie to avenge.

Rosendo has memories of the face off with Elizondo and Uribe and he most clearly sees the snake buckle. Rosendo doesn't argue with Juan or tell him anything useful but remembers the buckle and that it was definitely Uribe's not Bernie's. We see him kneel with Pad Tad to tell him of his memories and fears. Egad, does everyone who knows the truth have to go into confession or into melt down so we can't make any progress here?

The baby's temperature is down, Sofia is so pleased and relieved but it is short lived since Gabriela oozing poison and sugar slimes in the door as she appreciates the baby's recovery but hands Sofia the paper which initiates her challenge to Bernardo's will and testament. With her sickening grin she assures Sofia that she will stop at nothing until she has regained all her property and power and oh, by the way I am so happy the baby is better. Wonder how the baby will look when she is out on the street?
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Paddy Tad assures Rosendo that he must break his silence and tell the truth about Gabriela's lie. Rosendo is afraid that confronting Ricardo Uribe directly will result in another tragedy. May God bless them all.

Feo Fernando is digging up his old money stash in the night forest

Quintina is selling tickets in her yellow uniform, giving death defying rides and counting her money like a circus carny.

Juan shows up in black hat and shirt while Juliana shows him her black negligee under her white robe, She removes his shirt and presses the flesh. She flashes back a Sofia telling of her eternal love of Juan which is so broken but she draws back from the warm and willing bare chest to say she can't go through with her desires. She knows Juan is so noble and so helpful but he must go and go now before she loses her resolve. Go to Sofia and don't let anyone separate you.

Feo is checking out his treasure of money, poison, gold lockets taken off of dead damsels and oops, slams the safe door closed when Ruth walks in. He uses the moment to slam her against the mirrored chest in a passionate assault. Can't tell if she half way likes it...

Juan shows up in Sofia's room with one baby and no nuns. Juan asks her pardon and she tells him that Maria Jose is sick again. They discuss her temperature that Sofia worked so hard to lower but Juan feels the baby and she seems too warm.

Juliana tells Papa that she is glad she gave Juan his out instead of carrying out her caprice. Juan is going back to his true love. She learned a great lesson but before she can tell her Papa, she faints with the rose still in her hand. Papa yells for her to react but she doesn't.

On a horse in the night, Juan and Sofia ride triple, Juan yells that the baby isn't reacting either as they speed toward the hospital. When did the dry ice forest open a hospital?
*********************
Feo and Ruth try to enjoy their moment by the mirror. She asks him to wait and he offers her a drink, yes she needs a drink so he leaves the room as she thinks what to do but we soon see the expensive looking wine in glasses looking sexy and provocative until she throws her wine in his face. He looks perplexed then throws his wine in her face. She slaps him, he slaps her b back they kiss some more, clothes slide away in jerk frame motions he approaches. No vocabulary here, none needed.

Side tragedy, the young wife Eugenia tells her mother-in-law she doesn't know how to handle let alone deliver the bad news that she won't getting pregnant. Rigo comes in, Mom leaves and Eugenia shows him the analysis envelope but he says this says the person who can't have children is me.

Juan and Sofia arrive at the clinic with screaming baby. The doctor pushes the parents out the door, he needs to examine the child who really has great lungs.

Rigo says I know how much you wanted to have babies. She tries to say it doesn't matter so much but their love matters to her. He counters, I'm good for nothing and will let her go on to find someone who can give her a family..... Mom has been listening and rushes in to ask him what he is saying.

Gonzalo makes a proposal to Sarita that he wants her to be the woman at his side for all his life. So, my little chickadee, will you be my novia? She considers...

Oscar slides into Jimena's bedroom with bandages under his sombrero. They discuss the futility of their happiness, he wants to know why the other guy was kissing her. The best thing she says is to separate forever and tells him to go. Sadly he accepts the rejection once more. In the background Franco sings as the full moon rides high again. Franco is actually singing in the kitchen but the brothers hunker in their little bedroom, Tio comes in the kitchen with a bottle of Tequila.
Sara remembers Franco then tells Gonzalo that she accepts and will be his novia.
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Tio opens said tequila bottle in the kitchen and Franco begins to spill the story one more time of why they are all such a miserable bunch of unrequited lovers. Franco can't figure out why they have to keep suffering for the death of the parents. Beats me why we have to keep suffering right along with them.

Juan and Sofia talk about their suffering and worry about the baby.

Rigo, Eugenia and Mom talk about why it makes sense to get divorced because he can't have baby. He don't feel like a man, Mom thinks a MAN is one who loves, supports and stays faithfully with his love. Eugenia then divulges that at first she didn't love Rigo because she still loved Benito but as time went by, she came to love him for his great love and sweetness. She would prefer sacrificing being a mother rather than lose him.

Gabriela's gaze dwells on her empty bed which reminds her that her heart is empty too and has been more and more lately. She sensually sniffs a handkerchief and says the only man she ever really loved is Ricardo. For this she gave him the greatest most profound gift, something he always wanted, the best gift ever, something that Raquel could never give him. We are accepting all bets here: whatever could she mean....teehee.
********************
Papa Uribe decides that nothing will separate him from his beloved baby girl. He will seek her out and tell her what he is looking for and find out why she is looking for kisses from the Reyez bum.. Meanwhile darling daughter is using her belly button as a wine cup as Fernando has tied her up with leather belt to the bedstead and oops papa approaches, how sexy.

Sofia and Juan decide that not only pain has kept them together. They remember moments of happiness and love. Sexier scenes with Juan and Sofia than we have ever seen fly by and the babies being charming and not screaming for a change tells us that fantasies can take many forms. But back to reality in seek revenge and suffer land. None of their dreams has come to life like they planned. Is it love or pain that is forever but they are bound by it. The tears flow together.

Next: Well Nickster, looks like you get the operation, I think they found the hospital, I got some expected and unexpected seductions.

Labels: Fuego

Alternate title: Fools Don't Go to Heaven, They Edit Telenovelas

The editing in this episode was really jumpy and disjointed, and a few of the scenes seemed pointless. Or else I'm just cranky. Take your pick. But here's how it went.....

First the rehash: Lucia and Charly are wending their way along the city streets, flirting and giggling with each other. Young love.

Raul is dealing with his guilt over leaving Marissa alone after the death of their parents, and her pregnancy and abortion at 15. This resulted in her inability to have children now and Raul's need to persuade Santiago to marry her. Brotherly love. Protective love.

And he adds that he wants the marriage to happen as soon as possible. Uh, that's really the couple's decision, don't you think? mumbles Santiago desperately. Well, I just don't know what I'd be capable of doing if somebody hurt her, threatens Raul.

From there to the trashbin. Only it's Alicia this time, having to sort through lots of packing materials to retrieve Candy's portrait and carving for a very angry, hostile Patricio. He's so p....d he doesn't even help her climb out of the bin, once she's found them.

Another scene change. Now it's the kids talking, Chava, Rocio and Gordo, about playing and homework, girlfriends and whether or not the chubby friend should be called "Gordo" or not. Why was this scene inserted here? No idea. Let's just say it did not advance the plot line. Come to think of it....what IS the plot line? Opinions welcome.

We zip from there to the clinic where Santi and Lalo are lightheartedly putting a patient under. She's counting from 100 sheep down and is out by number 97, giving the boys time to decide what CD they want to listen to while Santi operates. Remind me to never have surgery...of any kind!

Zip again and we're at Meño's house. He's trying to persuade Candy to tell Soledad her secret and ask her to keep it. Folks, nobody keeps big secrets like this but hey...I'm not writing this baby.

Back at the clinic, Santiago and Lalo talk about expanding the clinic to another city, two weeks here, two weeks there, making lots of money and oh yes, let's get the wives...that is Lalo's wife and Marissa together to seal the deal. Surgery continues during all this but Santi is distracted. (That's it, no surgery ever!)

Lalo thinks it's because Santi's sleeping with two women and you can't sleep with a woman twice without falling in love with her. (News to me, folks) But Santi tells him it's "different" with Candy. He's thinking "above the waist"...like he did when he was in love with his wife Paulina. Lalo, who is strictly a nether regions guy, is dumbfounded.

We cut to a scene where Candy is plucking one of Meño's eyebrows. And then a scene at Santiago's house where the maid is serving him coffee, and when he seems to call her Señorita, she assumes that he's in love with her.

You see what I mean about the editing and chaotic scene changes. Jeez, it's enough to give you mental whiplash.

Now Santi's on the phone to Paulina who seems annoyed at being asked to write to her daughter once in a while. She's busy, she's working for gosh's sakes! She'll get around to writing but let up on her already! She hangs up the phone as if to say, What a pest! Santi's solution is to make up two different e-mail addresses so he can send some Mom e-mails to lonely little Rocio. I'd feel bad for the child but so far this episode seems so unreal, I can't get into it.

Right before we break for ads, we have a scene of Patricio driving, remembering a time when Candy was singing to him as they cruised along. Okay, we get it. He can't forget her!

In a little post-eyebrow-plucking chat, Tio Meño and Candy are disputing her feelings for Santiago. She claims he's an idiot and an "estupido" and she want to hate him but slips up and admits she also finds him "divino". You're in love with him, observes Meño. No way! Okay, why do you think that? Want the long story or the short story? Tio asks.

Well, we're spared that conversation by returning to the kitchen with the maid and the butler and she's explaining that the use of "señorita" indicates the boss considers her a virgin and his intentions towards her are serious. He's a gentleman, she adds, and you, sir, are not! (a reference to the butler's bedtime escapade with Marissa).

Don't get too comfy, we've got another scene change:

Now we're out in the street, Candy is jogging, turns her ankle and collapses on a bench. Whoops, here comes Soledad. Gotta get going again. Soledad wants to know why Candy ran off the other day and never answers her phone. More fibs from Candy and she lurches up and runs off again, while harsh jangly piano music plays in the background.

Another random scene. Meño's in the kitchen with the lonely romance-seeking cook. She's on her latest crazy diet, trying to get in shape for some kind of love life.

Okay, okay...I know there's some unifying theme in all these brief scenes. Everybody's looking for love. Nobody's satisfied with their body or their current romance. Every one is burdened by wounds of the past, even the little kids (Mom doesn't love me. Rocio. Dad doesn't love me. Beto. Who's my dad, my grandparents? Chava. And don't call me "Gordo"! the chubby kid.)

Santi, the plastic surgeon with oodles of free time, is perched on Candy's doorstep again, this time ready to lift her depressed mood by renting a plane and flying her to Mexico City to visit her father's grave. Yes, she's finally feeling guilty about not being with Dad at the time of his death. So, presto, Dr. Prince Charming is ready to meet her needs. Is she scared to fly with him? Well, just a little bit....but off they go.

They're at the gravesite with a delicately tearful Candy laying gladioli on the grave when her mother appears. Impactado looks all around. But you're dead! screeches Mom. You betrayed us all! You lied to us all! What are you doing at my husband's tomb!?

Must add here that Julie suggested "Qué haces aqui?" as one of the most common phrases in telenovelas...and sure enough, Candy's mom asks just that. Right on the money, Jules!

Mom isn't done berating Candy. Not by a long shot. (And can't say I blame her.) First she flings the flowers in Candy's face. Then she adds, You killed him! He doesn't want your flowers! For me, you ARE dead! And off she goes.

And speaking of dads, Patricio arrives at Soledad's house to tell her.....But wait, first a bunch of advertisements....okay, whew. Yes, he IS the father of Beto and will give him his name and financial support. Soledad doesn't want his money. It's not for you, it's for him, snaps Pato. But I want a father for my son! You're asking me to give up the people in my life for the last 8 years to give your son a father. Don't make problems for me. But Beto will lack for nothing financially.

Santiago and Candy are still at the cemetery, trying to sort through the emotional chaos that the mother/daughter confrontation left behind. Candy's bemoaning the fact that her lies killed her dad. She told so many lies. Santiago's trying to put the best face on things by reminding her she was so angry and so hurt that she really couldn't think. (For 7 or 8 years!? I guess "love" IS blind.) Candy's also angry for not realizing that Pato had other lovers, even when he was engaged to her.

Pato, at this moment, is in a church having a chat with the Virgin. He's confiding that he can't forget Candy and that he wants to be a better person. Okay, those of you who think Pato's a pig (I don't, actually) just get ready....çause clearly he's on the path to redemption. A loooong path, but he's on it. In case you're not sure, later on he's playing golf with his priest buddy. I'm just sayin''.

The meeting with Mom has regressed Candy to early childhood. She feels just like she did as a youngster when she got caught out in some kind of mischief. If only she could run to Mom, hug her, tell her she loves her and ask her forgiveness. Why not? suggests Santiago. You can do it...just take one step at a time, with maybe a little push from me. As they turn to leave the cemetery, he turns to look at Dad's grave and whispers, "Don't worry. I'll take care of her."

Well, yes, here's that scene of Pato with the priest. Confession on the 17th hole. I'm not a saint. You conceived a child when you were drunk, notes the priest...Yes, you're certainly not a saint. But have you told your wife? (the answer is "no")

Two other folks who aren't saints: Raul and Marissa, squabbling over Candy. She wants her fired 'cause she's the b***h who's stealing her beau. He's dumbfounded by this information but no matter. He's not firing her because her column's a hit and why kill the golden goose? Marissa would like to pluck that goose and throttle it, but Raul's not playing.

Candy and Santiago arrive at her childhood home. The gate is open. He steps discreetly aside. Mom spots Candy and says...yes "Qué haces aqui?" Tension. Pause. They hug. Mom drops the packages she was carrying. The romantic love music swells in the background. I get misty-eyed. What can I say? I'm a sap (and I know it won't last.)

The lovely music stops playing and human reality intrudes with more remonstrances from Mom. (One can hardly blame her. A couple of tearful hugs and one or two "perdoname's"hardly make up for that kind of hurt.)

More recriminations. First Veronica died. Then you! Then your dad. I sacrificed my life for you three. And after your dad's death, Alicia left me here to struggle along on a miserable pension! Suddenly Mom remembers Santiago, asks Candy to bring him in and urges her to eat some cake because she's too thin. Okay, Mom's a little ADD here, but with all these scene changes, I 'm feeling that way myself. Yowsa!

Meanwhile, Santiago is in Candy's old room which hasn't been changed an iota since her "death". Even the lipstick love message about Patricio is still scrawled on the mirror. Big symbolic scene when Candy comes in and slowly erases it. And we have a reiteration of her basic mantra. Mom must keep my secret. No one can know I'm alive. The neighbors might tell Patricio. yada yada yada. Candy and Santiago leave but not before a parting shot from Mom.....I still don't forgive you!

And now a dream scene. Patricio is in bed alone (don't ask me where Alicia is....maybe cleaning off dumpster dirt) and having one of those yearning dreams we've all had of searching for a long lost lover and never ever finding him or her. (My dream always takes place in Paris and I'm looking for Philippe, having lost his address for some reason. I never find him. And Patricio doesn't find Candy either. Poor baby)

Zip. We see Candy in the kitchen, so distracted that she burns her hand trying to cook. Harsh jangly music plays, in case we didn't get it. Meño comes in and sarcastically says he'll be glad to clean up the mess after Candy flounces off.

Meanwhile, Candy's mother is trying to explain the whole convoluted mess to her local priest. He's completely flummoxed and sure she's out of her head so he advises, "Say three Our Fathers, four Hail Mary's and have your blood pressure checked. Sounds like reasonable advice to me.

Instead of a priest, Candy finds herself talking to that scary puppet Merengue. She explains to Meño cum Merengue that her life is all topsy-turvy. Mom knows she's alive, there's this mess with Soledad and she's just flat-out miserable.

More ads and then a crazy scene in Santiago's office. He's trying to off-load some work on Lalo and then confronts his partner about the pink lighter and secret smoker story Lalo told his wife to cover up his infidelities. Of course, as a friend, Santiago played along but he's not happy. And it seems Marissa was concerned about Santi's absence from the office yesterday (he was running around Mexico City with Candy) but Hortensia, faithful secretary that she is, covered for him by telling Marissa the doc and Horty were in bed together! What's not to love? More chitchat about Santiago's sins being less than Lalo's because Santiago is not actually married to Marissa.

Big change of scene. Santi's mom and niece are talking and our teenager wants to throw a 60's party to raise money for foster homes. Granny can't believe the 60's were actually 40 years ago and does a little old lady routine. Random scene? What can I say? Talk to the editor.

Meño's fretting about Candy's pale cheeks (he wants to lend her his rouge but just then Charly pops downstairs) and is warning her that her mother will surely talk. Well, of course! And in rapid-fire fashion, Santiago learns that Candy and her uncle will be renting the offices next to his and Candy makes Soledad swear not to reveal her secret.

And now the previews: Soledad wants to know the secret. Santiago and Candy are going to be competitors. This is war, total war. (They make silly faces at each other.) And Mom drops the bomb on Alicia that Candy is alive and Alicia's marriage is invalid.

Hey, who says nothing ever happens in these telenovelas?

Only one vocabulary word tonight. enmienda = correction, amendment. Meño used it when he was persuading Candy she really didn't think Santiago was "estupido"but really "divino"!
Since she changes her mind every five minutes, you'd better learn this word!

Labels: Tontas

Lorenzo asks DB who told her she could come to Altamira with such idiocy. "Santos Luzardo," replies DB, "He told me himself." "Santos couldn't have told you that because he put me in charge of the hacienda and he never told me that you were coming." "I am his woman," says DB, "and Santos told me that we would live together in his house. Those were his words. And you should be quiet because I am the only mistress (dueña) and señora of Altamira."

Melendez tells the attendees at Santos' cattleman's association meeting that rebels who are working against the government are in this area and they killed a border guard. Anyone who helps them will have their property confiscated. He expects that if they have any information, they will advise him. Melendez says that he is leaving shortly to go to Progresso. Melendez and his men leave the meeting.

Antonio and BP fight while Lucia gets dressed. Antonio's shirt gets ripped in the fight and Lucia tells him to come to the house so she can lend him one of her father's shirts.

Federica begs Pajarote to stay with her. She is sure the baby is his because when she says his names, the baby moves. "Please, stay with me," says Federica. "I'll be dead and buried first," exclaims Pajarote as he runs out the door.

DB tells the Altamira folks that if they are going to live under the same roof, they should talk like what they are: a happy family." Lorenzo is telling DB that she can't just come in and push them around when he has an attack. DB tells Lorenzo to please have the good taste not to die in front of her. She doesn't like such scenes. "Bárbara Guaimaran," says Cecilia, "you don't respect anyone, right? But be careful because in this life, everyone pays." DB tells Carmelito that he has to hand over the accounts of the hacienda to her.

DE tells Santos that the cattlemen are nervous and are returning to their haciendas to be with their people before the search starts. He says that they have some fear about Santos. DE asks if Santos is involved with the rebels. Santos says only that Gonzalo has been his friend for a long time and if he asked for help, Santos would help him.

Marisela says that if it is true that DB is coming to live here, she will leave. DB says that she isn't throwing Marisela out. They can all live at Altamira like a big family. She asks if Marisela has forgotten that DB is her mother. "Some mother!" exclaims, Marisela, "first you send me off to live in a hut with my father and then when I am in a house, you want me to leave." DB says that she didn't say that but if Marisela wilfully misunderstands her, that's her problem.

DB demands that Carmelito tell her all about the business of the hacienda and bring her the books. Marisela tells him not to.

Lucia gives Antonio a new shirt and looks at him appreciatively when he puts it on. When he goes to do his work, she says that she likes him a lot.

Cecilia gives Lorenzo some water. Marisela comes in and says that they are leaving right away. Cecilia says that is just what DB wants. They just have to wait until Santos comes back. Marisela says that she won't wait. If Santos prefers DB, she won't stay. Lorenzo says that if Marisela leaves, he will too. Marisela suggests that they go to La Chusmita but Cecilia says that they have to find Santos and find out what he is thinking so that they will know what to do. She says that if Santos wants DB to come and live at Altamira, she will leave too.

Nestor tells Santos that there is a whole detachment of the secret police in San Fernando. He says that all the entrances to the town are being watched and the government is afraid that things will get out of hand. He says that people are very afraid. Santos says that he hadn't noticed anything. He says that he has too many personal problems to get involved in such matters. "Fine," says Nestor, "I understand that you don't want to tell me what is going on. But I know that you belong to the group who believes that this situation has to end. Santos, people like Gonzalo Zuloaga are a hope for this country."

Leon and the other El Miedo vaqueros won't let Gonzalo into Altamira. Leon tells Gonzalo that what is going on in there only involves the local people. He should be more concerned about his friends. He says that people from the city ought to learn not to get in the way.

DB is looking at the books of Altamira. She says that Santos could do better and she will help him.

Cecilia, Lorenzo and Marisela are getting ready to leave Altamira and Casilda is devastated. It appears that the vaqueros are leaving as well. DB says that she hasn't done anything to make them leave but if they all want to go, the door is open. Tomorrow, there will be new employees at Altamira and she instructs Melquiades to go to Progresso to hire people. While she is giving her orders and elaborating on the type of people she wants to hire, all the Altamira folk walk away. Finally, only Gonzalo is there, "Keep talking to yourself, señora," he says and walks away.

While the Altamira folk wait for a boat, Gonzalo tells Marisela that she can't leave Altamira. It's her home. Marisela says that she can't stay if Santos has put DB in charge. Gonzalo asks if she believes that Santos told DB that she was in charge. "No," says Marisela, "but I know Santos and he is being manipulated by that woman." Gonzalo asks what Marisela is going to do in San Fernando. Marisela replies that she wants Santos to tell her to her face why he deceived them when he promised that DB would never live at Altamira while she and Lorenzo were there. Gonzalo says that he wants to go with her but Marisela replies that would be crazy with all the police looking for him. Gonzalo acquiesces but asks Marisela if he matters to her.

DB brings Eustaquia and Juan Primito to Altamira and says that they are going live there. Eustaquia is shocked that DB has thrown Lorenzo and Marisela out of Santos' house.

"Of course, you matter to me," says Marisela. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you or to the guys." Marisela asks Gonzalo why everything is so difficult. He asks why she is saying that.
"Because love hurts," says Marisela, "falling in love hurts. I thought it would be something nice but it isn't." "Yes," replies Gonzalo, "It's true. Sometimes it hurts but it hurts more not to have someone to love. That is why I am going to fight for your love. Even if you tell me that you don't like me even a little bit (ni una migadita, literally, a little crumb). I know that little by little I will win your heart.

The Altamira vaqueros say to Cecilia and Lorenzo that they can't just sit around and do nothing. They will tell Antonio what has happened in case DB tries to do anything to Melesio and the terneras. Cecilia agrees that Antonio should be told. Cecilia tells Marisela and Lorenzo to cheer up and not let anyone say that a Barquero is afraid to confront life. She tells them to get in a boat and go to San Fernando so that Santos can put things right.

"What should I have done?" DB asks Eustaquia, "Let that child drag Altamira to ruin? I had to get involved (tomar cartas) in this matter, vieja (old woman). It would only occur to Santos to let a person with no experience like Marisela manage this place."
"Tell me another one! ('a otro perro con ese hueso', literally, 'to another dog with that bone')," says Eustaquia, "Tell the truth - that you were dying of jealousy because Santos put the girl in charge of his hacienda. You had to show up destroying everything, making yourself important. But this rashness will cost you dearly, Barbarita because Santos has told you a thousand times not to mess with what belongs to him."
"But I belong to him, too." says DB, "And if he really loves me, he will give me my rightful place. It's them or me. He has to decide, vieja."

The Altamira vaqueros go to DE's hacienda and tell Antonio about DB taking over at Altamira. He leaves with them to check on his father and nieces.

Santos and DE are about to leave the hotel in San Fernando when Lorenzo, Cecilia and Marisela show up. He asks what they are doing here. Lorenzo replies that Santos' woman threw them out of Altamira. Santos asks how DB could have done such a thing. "You want to know why?" says Lorenzo, "Because you let her. Because she governs you, Santos. That's why!" "You swore that she would never come to Altamira," says Marisela to Santos, "and the day you put me in charge of the hacienda, she appears with the authority that you gave her. It's too much, Santos. I won't take another slight, not from her and not from you." Santos says to Marisela that he told DB that when she gave La Barquereña to Marisela, DB would be mistress of Altamira. He never told her to show up there, give orders or have her thrown out. "I don't know whether to believe you, Santos," says Marisela. Santos says that she will believe him because they will go to Altamira right now and clear this up. Marisela says that she won't go back to Altamira until DB is gone.

Gonzalo tells Melesio that the documents Santos gave him prove that he owns La Sandovalera. Melesio says that documents won't stop DB if she wants to throw him out. Antonio and the Altamira vaqueros arrive.

Antonio decides to take Gonzalo back to El Miedo and leaves the vaqueros to take care of Melesio.

Santos speaks to Marisela alone in the hotel in San Fernando.
S: Look, I'm really sorry about all this. I promise that tomorrow you will be able to return to Altamira.
M: Until when, Santos? Until that woman is completely in control of you? She's nearly there already, right? It's only a question of time before she is done with you. My father was right just like he always is.

Gonzalo returns to El Miedo. He tells Andres that he needs to get better as soon as possible because things are getting complicated. "Bárbara can't be trusted," he tells Andres, Cósme and their terneras. "She has us here because of Santos but the day that they have a confrontation, the first to be left holding the bag ('en pagar los platos rotos', literally, 'paying for the broken plates') will be us. He says that they should be ready to leave as soon as possible.

DB is unimpressed with a dinner of rice and fried eggs. Eustaquia says that is all she could make because this isn't her kitchen and she didn't know where anything is. "I've told you that you have to get used to the idea that now this is our house," says DB. "No, it isn't!" yells Santos coming into the dining room, "It's my house! No one gave you permission to come here and run roughshod over everyone. This is wrong, Bárbara. What the hell are you doing here?"
DB: You told me that I would be the dueña and señora of Altamira.
S: That would be in the future after you handed over La Barquereña.
DB: Yes, but that was before you told Marisela that she was the dueña and señora in front of all the employees. You made me look ridiculous and I can't permit that.
S: Ah, so that's it. I put Marisela in charge of Altamira for two days. Do you understand? Two days! And that annoyed you because you can't stand it if I make a gesture to your daughter.
DB: That's right. I did it because you are too trusting. That idiot could have caused you to lose everything.
S: Those were my orders and you aren't someone who can countermand my authority in my house.
DB: I am your woman.
S: You aren't anyone. Listen to me carefully. You aren't anyone to throw my people out of my house.
DB: I didn't throw them out. You can ask anyone here. I didn't throw them out. They left because they are proud, disagreeable and bad mannered. I suggested that they stay here because we are a big family.
S: Bárbara, don't be a hipocrite. Don't play the innocent. You know as well as I do that Lorenzo and Marisela have more than enough reasons not to be where you are. Listen carefully to me, Bárbara. You've done it this time. You gone too far, do you hear me?

Melesio tells Antono that he is concerned that if the terneras can't work at Altamira, they will have nothing to live on. Antonio says that DE pays him well and he can support them. The Altamira vaqueros show up and says that they have to talk to Antonio. Melesio suggests that Antonio work out his anger with their disloyalty by having a boxing match.

Andres promises Josefina that he will come back and they will get married and have a nice family. Melesia borrowed Cósme's clothes while hers are being washed. He says she looks nice. She says that she looks like a circus clown. "I love my little clown," says Cósme. Melesio begs him to take her with him. Cósme says that he can't but he is hers forever.

The three vaqueros sit down with Antonio. As usual, they make Pajarote do the talking.
Pajarote: We want to ask your forgiveness because we behaved very badly towards you.
Antonio: That's true.
Carmelito: Federica set a trap and we fell into it.
Pajarote: That's what happened. Federica and Josefa deceived us like they deceived you.
María Nieves: We wanted to tell you the truth but we didn't dare. We thought everything would just work out.
Pajorote: The boss was your friend and you were with his aunt and didn't say anything.
Antonio: That was different.
Pajarote: Betrayal is betrayal. What's good for the goose is good for the gander ('la salsa que es buena para la pava, la es buena para el pavo, literally, 'the sauce that is good for the tom turkey is good for the hen turkey') .
A: Ok, but the difference is that I got blamed (achacaron el muerto) and I was the only one who didn't sleep with Federica. You were my best friends and you didn't say anything.
C: Wait a minute, Antonio, we, I thought you had slept with Federica.
A: Me sleep with Federica? Really, I don't know how you had the stomach to do it.
P: The truth is that she isn't pretty but she has her skills (mañas). (He indicates the other vaqueros.) Ask them. Speak up, you pair of foxes.
C: She was great
MN: I agree.
P: Please don't yell at us any more. I'm the one in trouble now. Federica told me that the baby is mine.
A: When? (María Nieves and Carmelito move away from him like he has a contagious disease.)
P: It was today in town. We had some noisy tickling (cosquillitas alborotadas) and she dropped that bombshell on me ('me soltó esa perla', literally, 'dropped that pearl on me').
The other vaqueros look at Pajarote for a minute and then they all laugh.

DB and Santos-
DB: But I've already done it. I've come to your house as what I am, your woman. I've moved your plans forward because you told me this would happen, that sooner rather than later I would be here as señora of Altamira. Did you or did you not say it? So I'm here. I messed up (metí la pata), I admit it. I got ahead of things but I'm here. And what? What are you going to do? Put time back? Convince your mutinous workers to come back to work?
SL: Don't even think about messing with my employees. You aren't me and this is my hacienda, mine!
DB: Fine. Your rebels are yours. I'll be quiet. But as for Marisela and Lorenzo, I swear by all that is sacred that I didn't drive them out. Why did you think of putting that girl at the head of the hacienda? Santos, don't look at me that way, my love. I know you are furious because they went to San Fernando and spewed poison against me but very soon you will see that it was the best for everyone. Please, say something.
SL: Yes, I will say something.
He drags DB out to the door and tells her to get out with her people.
DB: You wouldn't dare throw me out.
SL: I would and don't come back until you give La Barquereña to Marisela.
DB: I won't move.
Eustaquia pleads with her to leave saying that she feels like a thief here.
DB: I've said I won't leave and I won't.
SL: (sarcastically) What are you going to do - tell your sorcerer (brujeador) to kill me?
The Altamira vaqueros appear and ask if Santos needs any help. Santos says no. DB and her delinquents are leaving.

Cecilia finds Lorenzo writhing in pain in the hotel room. He says that he has very little time left and wants to experience every second of it unlike the years he lost to alcohol. He asks Cecilia not to tell Marisela.

Marisela is in the hotel dining room and someone comes up to her. "Did you lose my double?" she says to him. "Barbarita? is that you?" asks Melendez.

Labels: barbara

WHO TOOK MY TRAINING WHEELS? Just when I was starting to get the hang of recapping, Univision took my Closed Captions! My friend Jo Ann says that you learn the most Spanish when you have no safety net. Tonight we’ll find out. Please post anything important that I miss or get wrong.

Santiago locates Lucía’s doctor. I’ve never been to a plastic surgeon; do all of them decorate their offices like bordellos? The doctor is on the phone with Lucía, and when Santi hears him say, “Even though you’re 15, yes, I will operate on you,” he manhandles him into a room and ties him up. Santiago recites #3 of the top five telenovela phrases of all time, “Lo no puedo creer” - I can’t believe it. (Any guesses what other phrases are in the top five?) Santi lectures him on ethics, but the other doctor defends himself - it’s an easy way to make money. The doctor agrees to help teach Lucía a lesson, in hopes Papa Bear will cut him some slack.

Meño calls Gregoria for the first time in years. He asks about Patricio, and Gregoria confirms that Pat moved to Guadalajara.

Isabel bumps into Candy at the mall. What a classy lady! Notice how she successfully counters Candy’s insults toward Isabel’s son? She does it with a velvet glove. Did I mention yet today, how much I adore Isabel? First she gets Candy to back-pedal on name-calling (Plastic Doctor). Next Candy claims that the beauty they make is a lie, and women are their victims. Isabel reveals that she lost a breast to cancer and felt like less of a woman. Candy tries to teach the cancer survivor how she should feel about her body, but she doesn’t get far. Isabel counters, “That’s because you have two of them. My son did the reconstruction and gave me my life back.” That shuts Candy up – mark this day on your calendars! Clearly Isabel doesn’t let Candy walk all over her, unlike...

Santiago is giving literary critique on Rocío’s bedtime stories. “‘Once upon a time?’ How cliché!” Roc asks him to read Mama’s letter (ghostwritten by Papa) once again. He recites it from memory because she has asked him to read it so many times.

Meño confirms to Candy that Pat moved to Guadalajara, and that Gregoria calls him son-in-law. They don’t realize that Pat married Alicia. Charlie bounces in and wants to know why his dad wears rubber gloves to wash dishes. It’s another try-to-look-macho moment.

While she’s putting him to bed, Chava tells Candy he doesn’t want to move because he’ll miss his friends. “Please, Mama!” As always, Candy runs from the problem: “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Pat goes to see the carving he commissioned, a bas relief of Candy, chest nearly uncovered, hair flying in the wind.

In the schoolyard, Chava tells Rocío that she’s too young to have a boyfriend. Note that Rocío is about five months older than Chava.

Soledad tells Candy that Beto is not Jorge’s son, and that she went out with her boss a month before her wedding. She shows Candy the man’s picture - it’s Patricio. Beto is a month older than Chava. Candy runs out of the apartment (remember how Candy handles problems?). She flashes back to their night together, and works out the numbers - Pat cheated on her five weeks before their wedding.

Lucía is waiting for her examination, with her eyes covered with a relaxation mask. Santiago sneaks in and listens. He looks like a very disappointed papa, and Lucía is dressed like a 22-year-old going out bar-hopping. Santi listens to her lies until he’s heard enough, and then he breaks in, “I can’t believe you’d do this.” Lucía leaves in a huff with the standard teenager refrain, “You never let me do anything.”

The other doctor tries to play older-and-wiser, “Thank you for teaching me an important lesson; I won’t do that again.” Santiago answers, “You bet your sweet bippy you won’t; tomorrow I’m reporting you and they’ll take your license.”

Candy ends up in church, yelling at God (been there, done that, got an answer). He promised He’d never let go of her hand, and He broke that promise and left her alone. Just then a little boy steps up, gives her a flower, and says, “You’re not alone.” Candy got her answer, and her anger is gone. The boy has disappeared.

Meño tries to teach Charly that it’s okay for a son to hug his papa, and that real men aren’t afraid to show their feelings. “Yeah, Pop, whatever.”

Alicia asks Pat why he got the carving of Candy; “Was it to hurt me?” Pat reminds her that when they got married, he said he would never forget Candy. She orders him to get rid of Candy’s photo, and he refuses. Your trusty recapper agrees the carving was a bad idea, but at least Pat doesn’t let Alicia walk all over him, unlike...

Santiago tells Luc to get into the car. To prove how grown-up she is, she throws a tantrum and whines, “It’s not fair! You treat me like a little kid!” Santiago reminds her that she’s acting like a little kid, and she can’t just go over his head. But they both go over my head with their high-speed chipmunk-speak. They are talking so fast, even Camil gets tongue-tied - mark this day on your calendar! Hispanoparlantes, did I mis-hear anything? And what is the joke as she’s leaving (other than the part about a safe taxi)?

Alicia takes Candy’s photo from Pat’s office while he’s out and calls someone to help her remove the carving.

Isabel is reviewing her investments. Donato tries to advise her to invest in property on the horn of Africa, and she tells him to get back to work.

Candy tells Meño to stop calling Pat her husband, but Meño insists – you married him, you’re not divorced and you’re not dead, ergo he’s your husband. Notice that Meño doesn’t let Candy walk all over him, unlike…

Santiago slips a note under Candy’s door, telling her to open the door and find her happiness. Santiago is waiting on the other side, eyes closed, lips ready, and as the door opens, he asks for a kiss. But it is Meño who opens the door, ready to deliver the kiss as requested. All three laugh, one more nervously than the others.

Arturo’s mortality is catching up with him. He holds his chest to remind us of his heart attack. Hoping to bury the hatchet, he tells Pat to learn to forget the past. Pat suggests that Arturo start by apologizing to Pat and to his mama. We see that Art’s heart was attacked, not tenderized. He claims he has no sins to forgive. Pat notes how easily Arturo dismisses the fact that Pat never had the father he needed. Arturo insists that Pat is the sinner for causing the death of his wife. Napalm your own son – nice touch, Art.

We can see why Pat is so weak - his father doesn’t just withhold support; Arturo actively undermines him. Pat is no saint, but I propose that the apple fell as far from that tree as anyone could dare hope.

Santiago suggests that he should tell Candy his past so she can see his wounds. He wants her to understand him better, and maybe she can help him heal. Maybe she won‘t be afraid of him anymore. (Is it really wise to trust your deepest vulnerabilities to someone as cruel as Candy?)

At the beach at Chapala, Santiago explains his family legend. Note, “tatara” means “great-great” (grandfather, grandson, etc.), so Santi adds the extra syllables (tataratatara) like we would add great-great-great. He says, “It’s so far back, I don’t even know if we’re related.” He draws a “Circle of Truth” in the sand and sits down in the middle of it. Once you sit in the circle, you can’t lie. If you lie, (you‘re condemned? someone help me here). In the background, we see the pier where the wind and the sun talked to Candy.

Santiago tells her that now she should ask whatever she wants to know. Candy doesn’t mince words. “Tell me about Rocío’s mother.” Santiago knew it was coming, but still he knows it’s going to hurt, probing the unhealed gash he has been avoiding for seven years. He seems to be fighting back tears. He explains that Paulina was different. She was like a fish out of water. He loved her very much, but he didn’t notice what was happening. Maybe it was his fault too. She tried to tell him and he didn’t listen. He worked to be the best plastic surgeon in the country (do we hear Jaime‘s voice here?), and to be a great father, but he didn’t work to be a great husband. When she left he didn’t go looking for her, he just stayed here feeling abandoned. Enough! Now it’s Candy’s turn, like it or not. That’s the rules.

Santi told the story he has been trying to put out of his mind for seven years. Candy tells the story she has incessantly, obsessively concentrated on like a chipped tooth for seven years. “I opened the door and saw my husband kissing my sister...” It has become her mantra. She loved him very much. She told them she was dead so she could start a new life. She hated (?) them all because no one supported her (except that guapisimo hombre who tried to cover her with his jacket). If only someone had told her that she was right. If only someone would have just given her a hug. Santiago feels her pain so deeply, you almost feel more sorry for him than for her. He tells her she was right, and he gives her a big brotherly hug.

Charly gives his “singing waiter” audition in front of a full dining room. Plácido Domingo, your job is safe. Maybe Sven and Ole did it to make their singing look good!

Chava talks to Meño man-to-man. He has a couple of girlfriends, but he wants to get more. Mama can’t be his girlfriend because a guy can’t marry his mama.

Raúl puts Marissa in charge of Candy’s column.

Santiago thanks Candy for trusting him enough to tell her story, especially since she doesn’t trust men Candy has a secret. “My heart is right to want to be with you. But my mind ...” Santiago tells her that her heart is very wise and she should listen to it. Candy shoots him down. “You have a novia. I don't want to do what my sister did to me. I don’t want Marissa to open a door and find us together. Sorry. We just can't continue this.” She walks away and Santiago is left, empty-handed again. Two steps forward, two steps back.

Santiago! Listen up! You’re preaching to the choir! She just told you that you already won her heart. It’s her mind that is rejecting you because you have a novia. Romancing her heart won’t win her mind. Can you think of a way to get rid of that obstacle? Think. Think really hard!

Meño tells Candy that Chava has many girlfriends and he’s on his way to being an unfaithful husband. Candy tells him that won’t happen because she doesn’t want it to. Candy, truly you have a dizzying intellect.

Charly has a new job: Mr. Hamburger. He’s in the zócalo (central square) dressed up in a silly hamburger costume, doing a dance that scares the pigeons, passing out flyers. All the old cities in Mexico have a zócalo with a cathedral, government offices, a paved open square, and pamphleteers handing out coupons to everyone they can buttonhole.

Marissa orders her secretary to tell the columnista to come meet with her immediately. We discover that Marissa is an equal opportunity hag. She is rude and condescending to everybody!

Meño asks Candy how it’s going with her new love. She rejects the idea, but Meño won’t back off. “Face it. He can be the one.”

Lucía backs into Mr. Hamburger and knocks him over. His costume is so awkward, he lies on his back, legs and pickles flailing, like an overturned cockroach.

Candy arrives at the magazine office, and she and Marissa are both surprised at the new boss/employee relationship. Awkward moment, but Marissa recovers first. An opportunity to humiliate your rival doesn’t come along every day. Marissa eliminates major parts of Candy’s column and tells her to do a rewrite. Candy tells her to stuff it.

Pat discovers that Candy’s photo and carving are gone. Alicia threw them in the trash to get Candy out of their life. Notice Patricio’s ears - they can double as barn doors.

In Raúl’s office, Candy is trying to resign the column. Marissa will gladly escort her right out the door. She and Raúl have a little power struggle which he wins, which Candy enjoys. Raúl keeps handling Candy - her shoulders, her arms, her back. He insists they do lunch - for business, of course. She rejects the idea but he’s not listening. It’s a little hard to tell whether Raúl is a good guy or a bad guy, but the way he treats Candy today gives him two strokes in the “bad guy” column.

Charly gets fired. Lucía feels guilty for causing it, and she says she’ll walk out with him. Charly is so thrilled that she wants to talk to him, that he runs into another patron and falls over again. Walking around town with Lucía, he says he could take a job as her bodyguard. He’s nervous because he gets that way when he’s with a girl he likes. They are very cute together.

Raúl goes to talk to Santiago. He explains that he feels very responsible for his sister. When their parents died, he was living elsewhere and she was left alone. She got pregnant at 15 because he wasn’t taking care of her. She got an illegal abortion, there were problems, and now she probably can’t have children. Santiago is hit hard by the news. Raúl made sure to always protect her after that, and that’s why he’s here. He orders Santiago to marry Marissa pronto.

Tomorrow: Candy visits her father’s grave, and her mother sees her there.
Alicia goes dumpster diving.

Labels: Tontas