Caray, Caray!

In case you missed the drama from yesterday's episode, the show begins with Diana and Mojo Max joined in a lip lock on the floor. Camila is not happy about this turn of events and tries to break up our hero and heroine. Max finally gets up and actually has a smirk on his face. He tells Camila what she saw was just a happy accident. Camila wants to leave this little soiree, but Max won't hear of it. He tells Camila she can go if she wants, but he's staying! I noted he still has that smirk on his face. Camila starts making a scene until Emili-Oh tells her to put a lid on it. Dimwit Diana, tells Alvaro "He kissed me!!!" As Nina has pointed out, Diana didn't seem to be pushing him away. Diana refers to Max as a cretin. Gaby is hysterical. What if Diego sees that picture in the newspaper?! Alvaro, ever the gentleman, wants to know if he can toss Max out, but Diana doesn't want a scandal. Um, I think it's a little late to be thinking along those lines right now.

Yolanda is still confronting Pillow. Yolanda wants to know if Gaby really pushed Pillow down the stairs, or if Pillow is using this as a ploy to turn Lunkhead against Little Doormat. Pillow immediately gets defensive. "How can you even think that! Why are you defending that servant! Why are you against me?!" Yada, yada, yada. Big Doormat stays calm and basically says Gaby is too innocent to try to kill her and the baby. Pillow screams at her to get out. Yolanda reminds Pillow that if she had to choose who was more credible, Gaby or Pillow, it would most certainly be Gaby. "Have you forgotten you left my nephew at the altar when you ran off with another man?" As far as Pillow is concerned, that point is moot. More hysteria and "Largates!!!" until Yolanda walks out. Pillow then sits in her bed channeling Regan from the Exorcist. I kept expecting her head to swivel. She certainly had the other mannerisms down pat, including the drooling, eyes rolled back, and the shakes. Pillow is mad!

Outside Pillow's room, Limpid approaches Big Doormat. Big Doormat tells him she believes Pillow is deceiving him. The Orchestra of Doom lets out a crash as Limpid is, well, trying to mull over what his tia is telling him. The tricycle is in overdrive.

Cruella is in an office at Perfumes 'R Us talking to herself. I couldn't find the meaning of the word atarantada. Suffice it to say she's lamenting the fact she just wanted to come to the party to have a good time, but she walked into an earthquake. Camila comes barging into the room and is blaming Cruella for all the evils in the world. The scene is actually pretty funny and Camila chases Sylvie around the conference table, threatening to blacken Sylvie's other eye. Another black eye would certainly match her black and white ensemble, which includes what looks like a black and white dust mitt as a top, a Cruella Deville wig, white go-go boots, the Dalmatian puppy purse, and black and white striped hose. Definitely a man-magnet. All I can think about is that childhood song, "Round and round the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel" Actually, the weasel is chasing the monkey. . .

Camila joins Max back at the fiesta. Max is talking to Emili-Oh and still gloating about what happened. Camila is not having a good night. Max calls her his watch dog, and she replies "You're dang right! A dangerous Doberman with fangs!"

Diana is in the other corner of the ring with her posse, Caramel and Gaby. Diana is fuming that Max had the audacity to bring Camila. Gaby asks if Diana is jealous. Caramel tells Diana to calm down and put a smile on her face, "You don't want Max to know how you feel." Diana puts a fake smile on her face while she's whining to Gaby and Caramel. Two slimy lechers walk up and start hitting on Diana. She starts flirting with them and asking if they're reporters. Nope. They are execs from a rival perfume company. They didn't realize the prez was such a babe. Diana is eating up all their cheesy lines. Diana suggests their companies can merge so they can all work together. Now it's Max's turn to get jealous and put on his best lemon-sucking face.

Yolanda is telling Larry to give Gaby the benefit of the doubt and investigate. Big Doormat reminds him of all the evil things Pillow has done in the past. Apparently Larry's little brain cells have completed a data dump of those old memories.

Meanwhile, back at the "cocktail party," Diana is wheeling and dealing with Fric and Frac. Cruella keeps walking back and forth behind the slime balls, checking them out from behind. The camera pans for a second on Diana, and when it returns to the Hardy Boys, Cruella has vanished into thin air. Now you see her, now you don't. Any way, Alvaro walks onto the set and says he'd like to steal 'this beautiful woman' for a moment. Diana and Alvaro discuss what a success the party has been. I wasn't paying much attention to them, since Camila is draped all over Max and making all sorts of faces in the background. Camila is certainly more amusing than the platitudes being exchanged between Avarice and Dimwit.

Caramel and Emili-Oh are talking about all the guys flocking around Diana and that Max looks like he's going to explode. The camera keeps bouncing among a flirtatious Dimwit with Avarice, Caramel and Emili-Oh, and Max with Camila. You can just tell the party is building towards a climax.

Pancho is laying in his bed, frustrated with the disappointing turn of events this evening. Lala walks in and the conversation turns to Peyote and her drug habit. We get a PSA about what happens to addicts, along with Lala blaming Pancho for Peyote's addiction. Pancho says she did drugs before they met, but Lala counters it's worse than ever now. "You've got to DO something!!"

Regan, I mean Pillow, has regained her composure. Limpid has returned to bring her some water. Pillow is laying it on thick; she's so glad he's there for her. Etc. Suddenly Larry asks, "Is it true that Gaby pushed you, or did you fall?" The Orchestra of Doom suddenly comes to life as Pillow is impactada! Commercial.

Back at the fiesta, a very drunken Sylvie is trying to pick up Fric and Frac. She wants to know if they're married. Apparently Frac got divorced six months ago. A studly "actor-wanna-be" waiter comes up with champagne and Sylvie starts combining the drinks into one big glass, about knocking over the tray in the process. She then starts hitting on the waiter, who refers to her as "senora" by mistake. She makes a big point of clarifying that she's a "Senorita," before dismissing him.

Camila is telling Max that all the women at the party are commenting how handsome he is, and that she's the envy of all the women. Max isn't in the mood for her flirtation. Camila then makes the astute observation that Diana is flirting with all the guys. Max is not amused. Sylvie comes stumbling over and makes a scene. She swaps her empty champagne glass for Camila's full one. She then drags Camila away from Max to meet some men. Camila is truly embarrassed that she's associated with Sylvie. After Camila is hauled off by Sylvie, Max takes the opportunity to interrupt a conversation between Dimwit and Avarice. Max asks Diana if he can speak with her. Avarice points out that Diana is in the middle of a conversation already. "I wasn't talking to YOU!" says Max. Diana tells him she's most certainly not going to interrupt her conversation with Avarice to speak with Max.

Lunkhead has reiterated his question. "Did Gaby really push you, or did you fall?" Pillow gets all huffy. "Your Aunt Yolanda is putting all sorts of bad thoughts into your empty head! She hates me because of the wedding debacle! I've fallen into an abyss and need you to promise me you'll never leave me. I need you more now than I did when I was pregnant! Promise me you'll NEVER EVER EVER leave my side!" Lame Larry takes her hand and promises her he'll never leave. What a tool!

Max and Avarice exchange insults and Max threatens to turn the event into a circus if Diana won't talk to him. Diana says he's got five minutes. In her office. More mud slinging between Max and Avarice as Max is following Diana into the office. These two boneheads are half-heartedly squabbling about the usual. Once again Dimwit's words are saying "no, no, no," while her eyes are saying, "yes, yes, yes!" Their faces are a couple of millimeters apart. If it wasn't such a close up, you could probably see their chests heaving. ***What? No overbearing love theme or Orchestra of Doom? What gives?!***

Nancy, in her sexy, low-cut "good girl" white tank top with pink lace, is giving Diego a pep talk. She misses the old self-assured Diego who taught piano lessons. Diego, ever the victim, says "that" Diego is gone, now that he's in a wheelchair. Nancy says he needs to think about himself (which of course is all he does). Diana isn't the only person who could love him. Diego says he realizes Nancy loves him, but he will never be able to love her. Nancy is crushed! Personally, I think Nancy deserves a much better guy than Dismal Diego. Either Jorge from Paco's bar or Emili-Oh would be better choices. Of course, anyone would be better than Diego!

More of our Dopey Duo, Max and Diana. Max is saying he knows she wants him. Diana is playing not-so-hard-to-get. They're still millimeters apart. Diana points out they're both married and need to be faithful. Max retorts that neither of them love their partners. Diana gives him the two-minute warning. Max says he wants to kiss her, and he knows she wants to kiss him. Diana doesn't want more of a scandal, people will talk. . .Max likes this Docile Diana. With about a minute and a half left of Max's five minutes, they finally kiss and their love theme starts wailing in the background. Commercial.

Kike is walking down the hospital hallway and sees Larry sleeping on the omnipresent red sofa. He moves his hands like he wants to hit Larry. I loved the look on Kike's face. Perhaps if he had hit Larry, it might knock some sense into Larry, but we're not so lucky. Kike has come to visit Pillow. She's sleeping when he walks in, but he wakes her up. He's heard about "our baby. Sandy told me." Pillow is afraid Larry will see them together, but Kike assures her Larry is sound asleep, wearing his ripped jeans, on the ugly red sofa. The same ugly red sofa that's in Pillow's room. Pillow giddily tells him the new plan and they giggle with glee that Lunkhead believes Gaby pushed her.

Diana and Max finish their kiss and Max is telling Diana they still have another minute. Caramel walks in to say Camila is looking for them and she's M-A-D! Camila storms in and says she knew she'd find them together, probably kissing. Max replies it's not Camila's concern whether or not he's kissing Diana. Emili-Oh then joins the Otra Fiesta to advise Max a reporter wants to speak to him about his plans to export a rival perfume product to Europe. Diana says she's not afraid to be left alone with Camila. Max leaves and Emili-Oh tells his sister "to behave." Diana and Camila square off and Camila throws champagne in Diana's face. Uh oh!!!!

Speaking of Jorge, he's bringing a drink to Paco in his office. Jorge wants to know why he's still at work, isn't he a happy newlywed? Paco replies he may be a newlywed, but he's far from happy. He can't forget Fidiota. She even tried to commit suicide! Jorge points out Fidiota didn't try to kill herself just because Paco married Octopus, she was also distraught over Diana's kidnapping.

Pancho is having a conversation with a sleeping Peyote. Either the mattress has dried, after Lala poured the bucket of water on Pancho, or Peyote is sleeping in the biggest wet spot ever. Pancho is apologizing and saying he doesn't want anything bad to happen to Peyote. He can't help it if he loves both her and Caramel.

Camila and Diana are still exchanging verbal insults. "You want a scandal? I'll give you a scandal!" Caramel hands Diana a pair of scissors and Diana is making cutting motions with them in front of Camila's face. "What are you going to do with the scissors?" asks Camila. Diana grins as the scissors go "snip, snip, snip" in the air. Now Camila is afraid. I don't think I've ever seen Diana with such animation in her face in all the previous 80 episodes. I didn't think she had it in her. Commercial.

Max is giving some boring statement to the reporter. Gaby grabs Emili-Oh and wants to know what to do about Diana v. Camila. Emili-Oh suggests they stay out of it and not draw attention to what's going on. Gaby reluctantly agrees. Besides, with that fiera Caramel, there's not much to worry about!

Jorge is still counseling Paco. Paco says if only he knew Fidiota wanted to marry him, he'd never have married Octopus. He mentions something about Octopus wanting him to throw his cell phone in the ocean. Jorge, ever the voice of reason, suggests that Octopus knew Fidiota was calling and didn't want him to get the messages. That's why she wanted him to ditch the phone. This is a newsflash to Paco. Paco should be the father of Lunkhead, not Peyote.

Cut to the cocktail party. Camila is strutting out of Diana's office in thigh-high stockings and matching black bra and panties. Apparently that's what the scissors were for. I figured they'd cut off her hair, but I guess that wasn't the case. Camila is squalling for Max. Photographers are snapping photos. Diana introduces Camila as the model for their next campaign. Sylvie is jealous! Emili-Oh once again covers the humiliated party with his jacket (remember when he did that for Sylvie when her wig was pulled off at the Irrascible party?). Emili-Oh, Sylvie, and Camila leave as Max grabs Diana's arm and drags her into the office. All eight extras are impactados. Max asks Diana why she would do something like that. Diana basically states Camila asked for it. Avarice breaks into the room and after more insults Max, in his matching lavender shirt and matching lavender and purple striped tie, punches him and leaves. Avarice is impactado!

Doleful piano solo as Fidiota is drunk in her room, lamenting the loss of Paco. A string ensemble joins the piano solo. Meanwhile, Paco is wondering if what Jorge said could be true. Did you note that Paco is wearing the same white shoes worn by Diego, Max, and Larry? Boy those shoes make the rounds. I digress. Paco misses Fidiota and wonders if he made a mistake by marrying Octopus. I think he'd be making a mistake if he married either one of those two idiots.

Emili-Oh, Sylvie, Camila, and Iggy are hanging out at Intracoastal Resorts. Camila is tearing into Sylvie for ruining her evening. Those two bicker for awhile before Emili-Oh yells at them to shut the heck up. It's not Sylvie's fault the evening was a bust. It's Camila's fault for trying to make Diana jealous! I didn't realize spineless Emili-Oh had it in him. Iggy weighs in with his two bits. Camila is on a rampage, however. The doorbell rings and it's Max. Camila's voice is apparently dubbed in by our favorite little "Chihuahua on Crack" as she shrieks at Max for not defending her. The Orchestra of Doom plays. Commercial.

Camila is still ripping Max a new orifice for not defending her. Max didn't realize Diana had it in her to cut up Camila's dress. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed Camila didn't have much on to begin with? The lingerie look seems to be the norm with our Camila. It must just be the principle of the matter.

Caramel, Gaby, and Diana are happily rehashing the great evening and cutting off Camila's dress, when Diego rolls in. He is in a snit, as always. "It's 4 o'clock in the morning!" Caramel makes some excuses for them. Diego states he doesn't care if Caramel is out until 4, but he certainly doesn't want his little woman out that late!

Max is apologizing to Camila. More of the same. Camila wants him to promise to take Mini Max away and leave Diana for good. Max promises. More bickering until Max leaves and Emili-Oh follows him out. Iggy tells Camila and Sylvie they're both pathetic. As Camila storms out of the room, she pushes Sylvie onto the chair.

Caramel and Gaby head off for bed, as Diego's Inquisition of Diana continues.

Sylvie is ranting and raving to Iggy. Iggy wants to know why she didn't just pick up some guy. Sylvie replies she's a virgin and is saving herself for someone special. Suddenly Doc Evil is interested in her ramblings. Sylvie tries to throw herself at Doc Evil, but in Sylvie's drunken state, even he's not interested. As he tries to walk off, she's trying to take his pants off. Iggy is flustered.

We see a nightgowned figure in flip-flops walking across the tile to a desk. A perfectly manicured finger punches in eight numbers (beginning with 1153) on the phone. Andres walks out of bedroom to answer the phone. M—"Andres, I need your help!" A—"Who is this?" M—"It's Marfil, I'm alive!" Andres is impactado! The Orchestra of Doom kicks in as the. . .

Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada

Recently some anonymous reader posted the same negative comment about one of our shows on two separate recaps. I let the first one stand but deleted it the second time.

Perhaps it was the same person who then complained: "Your censorship on a public web site is troubling... clearly you want to stifle your readers from thoughts that are contrary to yours. Much of what is wrong with our society today is exactly what you've portrayed by deleting out the so called "negative comment".

Why don't you allow your reader to judge for themselves and voice there own viewpoints. This is a free society, a free and public Internet and a "respectful" (learn that word) exchange of ideas is always healthy.

This was my reply: Anonymous 2:55, if you are the one who left the identical negative remark on this post, I would prefer that you not post anonymously.

I don't hold with your idea that this website is "public" in the sense that it is owned by those who visit it. I certainly don't agree that "Much of what is wrong with our society today is exactly what you've portrayed by deleting out the so called "negative comment".

Much of what is wrong with society today? Give me a break. This blog has an identity, a character, which I choose to cherish and protect. This is not a site for nasty gossip, and it is not a site for political soapboxing. I repeat, if people dislike what they see here (or DON'T see here - in the form of nasty gossip about actors or railings against shows which do not model the particular world view preferred by the reader), they are welcome not to read, and if they hate a show, they are welcome not to watch it. That's a free society. Start your own blog.

So to be clear, I intend to remove comments if they contain:

• Spoilers. Many of our readers DO NOT want to know what's going to happen next, and since most of our shows air weeks or months earlier in Mexico, it's hard to preserve the suspense here. I try to help them by removing any comments which "give away" something which has not yet aired on U.S. television.
  
  Honest speculation by people who have not seen the actual future shows is allowed.
  
• Negative gossip about stars' real lives. Much gossip is fabricated, anyway, as any sensible person knows - but true or not, I consider remarks about actors' personal lives to be "spoilers" and will remove them.
  
• Political polemics about what our tv shows should or should not contain: this is a gray area. If you leave the identical obnoxious comment on two posts I will certainly delete the second iteration.

By the way, the comment anonymous was championing concluded approximately thus: "This sort of show should not be shown on our television networks." So much for free speech.

Comments on my comment policy are welcome.

Labels: announcements

Okay I am pitching in and doing a recap of LFMB….Please excuse me as while I have seen most of this…I saw it on a computer, fast forwarded with no captions..I never sit thru a whole show anymore…so well here goes…If I miss any big chunks..well feel free.

Damn after an hour of this…give me staircases and good old fashion cheats, thieves and other people of honor..

Okay the show opens with Caro conning Omar into thinking Aurora is there in this building where they are gonna shoot a commercial…Actually it is pretty embarrassing as she points and Omar screams Aurora….Thank you..that just put the final nail in the coffin of my “Omar Love”, well R.I.P.

Caro & Luigi, meet Aurora out in the street as she bounces along the sidewalk…Another point I gotta make here is this…along with her several layers of “Sherman Williams NuBeige” face paint, does she also apply body makeup? Cause that dress is pretty low-cut and we all know, south of Lety’s chin has never seen the sun. Jest askin..

Luigi is all hysterically squirming over being in the presence of Aurora, of course she snottily puts him in his place, Caro giggles in the background…Hey Caro, Dr. Frankstein never tittered over the monster he created.

The ever busy Cuartel

Now over to some TV show that is being filmed, the announcer is talking about latest news and fortune-telling..(at least that is what my dictionary says…probably cause psychics are big on TV in Mexico)…We hear the boisterous cuartel..maybe they are doing a special on “Nacas in Today’s Working Environment”…A guy..the photographer that has been after Aurora, stops them…he and Sara recognize each other…they bring up the nite she hit him in front of Lety’s house ***REHASH*** Sara starts pushing the guy around again…(Why oh Why doesn’t she just change her name to Butch and be done with it).

The announcer guy tells them to stop it…They start talking all at once, the cuartel says they must speak with him, it is about da-da-DA “La Mujer Misteriosa”, Senor Oriegel (I guess he is some talk show guy in Mexico); tells Ernesto to let them pass..and they all run over to the couch and start patronizing the guy…I guess this comes from months spent with Aldo.

Back to humiliating unworthy humans..
Luigi is bowing at the feet of Venus, when Omar, with every intention of working on my last nerve; runs out on the side walk, shouting mi Amor….blah blah blah…Caro drags him off and Luigi continues to worship Aurora..

The TV station:

Okay, after the cuartel has done everything, but offer the guy a group lap dance at a single rate..we move on..Senor Oriegel asks for names, dates like real information about Aurora and of course the “AssHats” and I mean that in the kindest way, have no hard information, TV guy says if they get him the 411, they’ll get the big prize…So it is off on another swell adventure, with Ernesto; the battered photographer in tow

It’s a BachelorPad babee…
Okay Aldo has the two young babes at his Bachelor Pad, oooooppppss sorry the stalker chick (I don’t care enough to look up her name) & her better looking, but non stalking friend. They are talking about that enormous tome of culinary delite and how it will no doubt end world hunger, the War in Iraq, cure cancer and enable the 40% of the Mexican population who exist on less than 2.00 dollars a day, to better their lives, so they can get HDTV to better see Aurora. (That is a real statistic I heard on NPR, the other day).

Okay Aldo starts his usual diatribe of the awesomeness of food, ***personally I am thinking about the awesomeness of a doble Tequila right now***; stalker chick starts talking about the sensuality of the tastes and the aromas..of the food and her friend is giving her the “For the love of everything that is Holy Shut-Up” look…Stalker chick goes on how she plans to pay homage to Aldo, seriously, I kid you not. Aldo being all coy & noble says “Moi, why who would be interested in Moi”? Ahhhhh Stalker chick..
Realizing her friend is off her meds, non stalker chick jumps in takes over the conversation. I so know, the old, “So do you like anybody?” question is next….

The Trailer, Now if we only had a Park
Aurora & Caro are in a travel trailer and I know this sounds impossible, but Caro is putting MORE make-up on Aurora, while Aurora whines in a Lety voice…Luigi annoys from the outside and Caro says Luigi is in love with Aurora…

The I Love Lucy touch
Photographer guy is driving Sara & Marta to the commercial as Sara threatens him with a good beating.

The Commercial

There are actual models standing around in modern clothes while Retro Aurora…in a peach colored with hooter sequins evening dress, tells about accessories, I don’t know or care why. Now then the Naca relief comes running in and of course interrupting the shoot, questions start…Aurora says she never works in Mexico, just in Hollywood..Ya think? I think that is a late night show on HBO.

Back to the Trailer
Omar & Fer are having a conversation, how Gargolety has an Amante…she has been acting so mysterious lately…Fer is convinced Lety is steppin out on Aldo….Omar is shocked, he can’t believe…yeah me either, I had enough trouble with lightening striking twice.

Back at the commercial shoot the photographer is grilling Aurora…”Oh leave me in Peace”, she asks..Sister I’m feelin your pain, now he queries, “What is your name?”
Caro is on one side of her and Luigi on the other…she says her name is “Aurora Mayer de Salinas”. (Sergio Mayer and Whatever Salinas)

Fernando now runs into the commercial shoot as usual when more than two Conceptos are in the same area…Chaos reigns..He & Aurora look at each other…The frozen scene..the looks…Does he recognize her? Go buy a lottery ticket, the odds are much better of you winning than Fernando getting a Clue***
The Vortex

PM & Lola are standing around the Vortex of Stupidity wondering where Sara & Marta are. (You didn’t think they would actually be working did you?), the phone rings …Oh Hooray, they won the trip…cause the Mysterious Lady has been found…Thank gawd I will sleep like a Moty tonight.

The Shoot

Fernando chases off the photographer and Aurora talks all snotty to Fernando, wow...

Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd
Nor Hell a fury, like a Fea scorn'd.
Thanks to William Congreve

Jacks rushes in…he wants to Nix the whole commercial…
Lots of people saying “Que?”

Now Aurora is all mad that Jacks cancelled the job…I guess it will hurt her Diva status..
Jacks wants to cancel it cause the commercial has to go along with the pilot TV show he wants…Anyhow to make a really long boring story short…Fernando steps up and says they can do it…they will do both. Aurora is muy impacted..

The Vortex

I guess there is some complimentary dinner with Fer Colunga that goes with the trip.

The Shoot

Fernando talks Luigi who is way scared into saying they can do the pilot…Jacks likes Fer’s attitude & bravery. Fernando is actually in charge…damn who’d guessed it?
Aurora has a tender look at him as she wanders off twitching all the way.

In the trailer she tells Caro she is going to help Fernando, put on the show…

On the street Fer tells Omar & Luigi the whole company is gonna be in on this..everyone is gonna help…Caro agrees to help. Caro is givin Omar the eye…

Back at Conceptos
Fer starts talking to Lety…he asks her about her appointment..she asks if he thinks she is seeing another guy. This is like people that put a chain around a 70’s Pinto, dude just cause you like it doesn’t mean someone else will.

Back to Aldo and stopping Global Warming

Aldo is showing the ladies out and he is blathering on and on about food..maybe it is a metaphor, but I don’t get it. You’d think he’d just shut up and break out the can of whip-cream and some chocolate sauce. Both girls do the kiss good-bye, but stalker chick kisses half his mouth and lets the kiss linger. Adios, Aldo has a knowing giant display of chiclets…maybe he is gonna go shake up that can now?

The Office of Con

Alicia tries to make Marcia put up the money for the hall, banquet and music for the wedding. That is not going to happen.

Alicia calls that other man of mystery (her papi)…she tells him she can’t pay for the wedding and good ole pops says he will, spare no expense…at least that is what we are lead to believe as pops is not heard.

Alicia goes to Tomas’s office with the great news. Tomas wants to talk to Pa, but no way he is too busy. Tomas gets up and asks Alicia for a kiss, she takes off his glasses and tells him to get contacts, nope, she tells him to get more fashionable glasses, then drops then and allows Tomas (who is blind with out them), walk and thus crush them.

The Shell Room

Lety & Fer are telling Marcia about the whole Jack thing…she is of course like we know nothing about this, Marcia backs up in front of the shell picture. Fer & Lety are talking how they can make so much money and finally get Conceptos back…Marcia has a knowing look on her face…I have come to admire her greatly and she is actually one of the few people I kinda semi like on this show, you can see the thought bubble that this is the last chance to pay off the debt and get rid of all of these AssHats once and for all…

She says she is in…Fer hugs her then hugs Lety, they do the three hands in..one for all and all for one..Whatever…Now they gotta come up with an idea for the show.

In Front of Conceptos

Stalker chick is sitting in a car taking notes…Aldo walks up to Celso and starts an incredibly lame ass conversation about what does Celso talk to Samson about all day? For a minute I'm scared he is trying to hit on Celso...Well I gotta say this for Aldo he is a riveting conversationalist...
Riveting.

I believe this is the time to bring up the fact that NO ONE...NO ONE on this entire show has ever had a normal relationship (well maybe Simon & PM), but every relationship goes from "Hi how are you" to freakin stalking in less time than it takes to throw the pet bunny in the soup pot. Need I name names? Lety, by Fer & Aldo...Fer by Carla, Aldo by stalker chick & Luigi, Aurora by Omar..Alicia by Tomas..NOTE: I do not consider the Marcia following Fer or calling him stalking, she was in a long term relationship and she certainly had good reason to mistrust him. That was harassment and bad judgement.

Now back to the Shell Room

Okay Fer sits top of the desk and Lety sits across from him….Fer says he loves Lety and can’t live without her. They lean in for a kiss…

Golden Circle of Goodbye…

Hate to be a naysayer..but Darth Aldo is on his way up in the elevator and he senses a ripple in the force…

FootNote: While I am certainly no shrink, I did have 3 years of psych in College…is it not a bit abnormal..that the persona of Aurora can be a total snotty bitch and say all the things Lety can’t? Then Lety is all nice and innocent acting to their face…I’m thinking issues..serious issues

Also I have decided that Lety & Aldo belong together and I am quite happy about it...in fact I think they would make great neighbors...kinda like Ned Flanders is to the Simpsons...you know Aldo would cook all kinds of awesome stuff and invite you over, you could probably dump the kids there for six months at a time, I bet Aldo would even mow your yard...And no matter how you let yourself go...Well, you'd still look better than the neighbor lady...

Looks like the Wedding is Monday...Yipppeeeee

Labels: fea

EPISODE - May 10, 2007
* Esmeralda tries to bribe Aguirre to take a message to Diego for her - He refuses, he loves his freedom and job too much to risk everything for her. She tries desperately to convince him. Nothing works - in fact, he tells her that she has no money so stop trying to trick him. He leaves.

* PT and SK praying in convent room. Zorro bursts in and says the Montero and men are outside. PT says Zorros is here to help SK escape. SK doesn't want to leave (because of Esmeralda). Zorro kneels beside SK and convinces her they need to leave for her own safety. PT checks out the window and sees Montero and his men outside.

* Men round up the nuns and other pilgrims outside the convent doors. Montero and MP have a heated argument over his presence at the convent. He yells and demands to see PT. As he goes to strike MP, PT exits the door and yells at Montero. PT stands to block the entrance door. Montero is angry and disgusted and pushes PT aside as he and his men storm inside to start searching. Men hold PT and MP tightly as they go inside.

* Inside, on the courtyard walkway, PT screams his outrage at Montero for even daring to storm inside the house of G-d. Montero isn't interested in the scolding. He is only interested in finding one person he suspects is being hidden at the church. Montero orders the guard to slug PT - orders accomplished, PT falls to the ground. MP, struggling with the guard holding her, yells and cries.

* Border crossing soldier happily pleased with his "afternoon delight" gift from the slave driver, buttons back up and leaves Sor Loca crying, sweaty and bloody in the bushes. Two men have to carry her and put her in the back of the cart with Renzo and Camba. Camba is nervous and curious - Renzo apologizes profusely to Sor Loca for not doing more to defend her.

* Montero is inside church office. Guards tie PT up to chair. Montero starts to torment and interrogate PT to find SK. PT refuses to answer or reveal anything. Montero threatens to put him in prison. Guard enters with handkerchief they found - Montero antagonizes PT to say who the gypsy was that left it - PT remainds silent - Montero sniffs the hanky.

* Out in meadow, SK apologizes to Zorro but says she can't leave without Esmeralda. Zorro tells her that Esmeralda will always be in their hearts and says to use the memory to return to Spain and fight from the throne. SK still wants to go back and confront Montero. Zorro says right now that is impossible and dangerous. They need to continue with the current plan. They mount their horses.

* Aguirre returns and brings Esmeralda a basket of food - for two days. She panics and begs him not to leave her alone. He says not to start begging and bribing him again - it won't work - she is a prisoner and he is but a humble soldier guard taking orders from Montero. He tells her there is paper and ink in the bottom of the basket - use it to pass the time. He leaves, locks the cell gate, and reminds her he only does what he is ordered to do.

* Gerardo comes to Olmos in the bar with good news about the Duke in Spain, and activities in San Diego. Olmos is gleeful in his own way. Gerardo ends the happy dance with the bad news of the King's assassination. Olmos is upset and paranoid, thinking that will make California (alta and baja) a possession of the Duke. Olmos also realizes that with Esmeralda's death they have nothing to use as leverage in dealing with the Duke - Gerardo and Olmos decide to find SK and use her instead.

* Duke Jacomo consoles Queen B after the death of her husband the King in the castle ballroom. She thanks him for his loyalty and advisement and friendship. He gets her paranoid about a rebellion and overthrow, but assures her that he would never let anything like that happen to her. She doesn't seem convinced.

* Alej finds Dena on a rural road. She explains why she went to speak to her brother Fernando. Alej is the ever-loving understanding husband and listens as she vents her outrage over her brother's actions. They kiss. Yumi appears in the meadow overlooking the road and watches Alej and Dena kiss.

* Fer meets with Cardinal and orders a reason why the governor's office wasn't informed of his arrival. Cardinal tries to get into a shouting argument with Fer - Fer orders Cardinal to leave the vicinity in three days. Cardinal tries to refuse due to MP's installation ceremony as Mother Superior. Fer is disgusted by even the notion that his beloved MP will be Mother Superior and is adamant about the departure order for Cardinal.

* Soldier hauls MP by the arm downstairs. MP yells and asks for an explanation and to be left alone. Other nuns walk behind them. On courtyard walkway, MP breaks free from soldier's grip - soldier explains the order by Montero to bring her into the office for questioning. MP agrees to go voluntarily and peacefully. Before MP can explain anything to the nuns, the soldier grabs her arm and pulls her away.

* Zorro and SK arrive at the gypsy camp. SK cries as she hugs and meets everyone. SK really starts to cry as she hugs Jonas and Azucena. A spy looks through a rock opening and sees Zorro and a lady with the gypsies. He suspects the lady is who they are looking for. He scurries away.

* Esmeralda, at the table in her cell, eats the bread and writes a love letter to Diego.

* MA enters Diego's room, while he is away. She shuffles through papers on his desk, looks at the books on the shelves, and then starts to look in the drawer of his bedside table. Bernardo enters and surprises MA. He tries to sign for her to leave. MA plays dumb to the hand signs and refuses to leave. She lays on Diego's bed and says he can leave, she'll straight up later. She wants to learn all the hidden secrets of her husband. Bernardo watches her like a hawk. MA chuckles to herself.

* Soldiers drag MP into the office just as Montero is beating up on PT. MP shouts her outrage and demands he stop. Montero says he will stop when she tells him the truth. PT says they won't say anything. MP makes up a story about a gypsy who came to the convent a long while ago and left it, she doesn't remember the name, it's been so long ago. Montero doesn't believe a word of the story, and demands again that they tell him the truth. (he's getting rather redundant with his violent temper tantrums don't ya' think?) MP scolds Montero for going against church doctrine. He tells her to stop with the doctrines, he's tired of it. He pulls out a pistol, cocks the trigger and aims in at PT's head.

* At the gypsy camp, Jonas thanks Zorro for his help in bringing SK there. AW Shucks! 'twarnt nothing, I'm just here to help, says Zorro (well, i'm really paraphrasing what he said here). SK thanks Zorro for everything. Zorro leaves. SK tells Jonas she holds both Montero and Don Fernando personally responsible for all the bad things that has happened to her and for Esmeralda's death.

* Lead spy returns to Don Fer's office to tell him that Zorro has taken SK to the gypsy's camp. Fer asks him to organize a posse of men, they are going to pay the gypsies and SK a visit. Spy leaves.

* Olmos shows up for the secret meeting with Aguirre in the apartment. Aguirre closes the front window and checks with Olmos to make sure he came alone and wasn't followed. Olmos asks for the location of Esmeralda's body - Aguirre says that information will cost him a lot of money. Olmos is surprised. Aguirre makes Olmos promise not to yell, scream or lose his temper - Olmos grows impatient and promises to remain calm. Aguirre tells him that Esmeralda isn't dead.

* In the church office, Montero continues to threaten PT's life if MP doesn't tell him where SK is now? MP panics, PT stays silent. Montero clicks the trigger - nothing happens - Montero laughs about bluffing just now, but sooner or later, it may be real. PT tells him power has made him crazy. Montero laughs that he is in control, times have changed, he will be vigilent and they may become martyrs in the end. Montero and men leave. MP unties PT and they hug.

* Olmos questions Aguirre over the validity of his statement. Aguirre says it's true, Esmeralda is alive. Some horses bellow and a loud bang is heard. Aguirre gets nervous and closes the other window. Aguirre crouches down as he continues to try and convince Olmos it is true. Aguirre shows a piece of paper with a peso amount on it. Olmos says that is a lot of money and in order to pay, he needs proof first. Olmos tells Aguirre that if it is a lie, he won't pay a dime. Aguirre is adamant it's true. Olmos again demands proof before payment.

* Alej sets Dena on their bed. Dena asks where Yumi is. Alej says she left - she's a free spirit and needs to be free.

* Yumi sits in tent/shack with grandma White Buffalo. Yumi is sad. White Buffalo gets her to open up about Alej and Dena being married and in love. She can't compete or interfere with that. WB tries to get her granddaughter to return to the hacienda, but Yumi won't go back.

* Alej tells Dena he loves her so much as he kisses her. Dena pushes him away and claims she can't do it anymore. She's changed, especially now that Esmeralda died. Alej understands and tries to console her - time will heal all wounds. She apologizes.

* Bernardo meets Diego/Zorro in the Z-cave. Bernardo says MA is searching his room for his secrets right now. Diego/Zorro is surprised and curious. D/Z tells B about SK and the gypsies. D/Z needs to find a way into Callao and rescue Esmeralda ASAP.

* Azucena and SK sit and console each other over the pain of losing their children. Azucena explained that when Esmeralda died, Renzo went crazy and left abruptly.

* Slave driver and associates watch the group of slaves taking a break under a tree. Renzo tries to keep Sor Loca conscious - Camba starts to go crazy, breaks free from chains and runs away. Slave driver and associates run after him - other slaves get restless. In the commotion, Renzo carries Sor Loca away in the opposite direction.

* MP and PT meet with Cardinal. They discuss Zorro; the order by the governor for Cardinal to leave in three days; MP brings up Sor Loca's disappearance; Cardinal is adamant that the installation ceremony will be held without interference.

* Vigilantes ambush the gypsy camp. Jonas and the men try to fight them off - the vigilantes keep fighting against them. As the vigilantes hit Azucena and catch up to SK, Jonas screams. Don Fernando appears and all fighting stops and everyone stares at him.

* Olmos and Gerardo outside at night meet to discuss the new information from Aguirre, and possible reasons why Montero spread the lie that Esmeralda died. Olmos tells Gerardo that Aguirre will give them proof of Esmeralda being alive. Olmos then twists the end of his mustache and laughs about Esmeralda's days of suffering.

* At Callao prison, Aguirre sneaks back to visit Esmeralda. He has agreed to help her get the message to Diego. She is so excited. He needs proof to take to Diego so he will know it's true. She's stunned by the request. He says no time to explain, give him proof or he won't do it and will leave. She stops him and gives him the letter to D she just wrote. Aguirre sees the letter and doesn't think it will work - she assures him it is proof enough for Diego. Esmeralda thanks him and blesses him as he leaves.

* In his bedroom, D and B wonder what MA was looking for. Everything seems back in order and tidy. D gets an idea to look in his bedside table. He takes out his keepsake box and notices his letter from Esmeralda is missing. He wonders why MA would take it.

* MA lays in bed with a glass of wine and laughs at Montero as he reads the letter she swiped from D's bedroom. (HA-HA! your wife was never yours, MA says.) Montero joins MA in bed - they discuss how different she is from other women, she doesn't let anything or anyone phase her - she defends D for being there for their baby - Montero reminds her that if it weren't for the baby, Diego would be with Esmeralda and she would be up a creek without money, friends or paddles. The evil twins kiss.

* Fer confronts SK - SK pleads for the safety of the gypsies. Azucena seconds the plea; as Jonas tries to speak up, Fer aims his gun in Jonas' direction and shoots Jonas in the leg. Azucena cries. Fer grabs SK by the arm and hauls her away. The vigilantes and gypsies start fighting again.

* D finds PT at the hacienda courtyard walkway. They discuss what happened with Monty at the church convent earlier (search for SK, they only found a gypsy's handkerchief, he and MP stood up to Monty's threats and torments). D tells PT that SK is with the gypsies. PT is worried and says they can't let Monty or Fer find her, she will be dead for sure.

* MP talks with the nuns at the church about the decisions made to go ahead with the installation ceremony so they all will be official nuns with habits, despite the order for the Cardinal to leave in three days. The times are very dangerous for them. Sor Carola stands up and gives support for the decisions made. Sor Novincia asks about Sor Loca. MP explains and says they will pray for Sor Loca's safety and peace to return to town. MP dismisses the nuns.

* Renzo and Sor Loca stop to rest. She cries how dirty the rape made her feel, and he should just leave her. He consoles her and energize her to continue to fight and live. Dogs bark in the distance and Renzo helps Sor Loca up and they take off again.

* Aguirre returns to the secret apartment to show Olmos Esmy's letter to Diego as proof she's still alive. Olmos is skeptical that it isn't just a forgery. Aguirre uses all his powers of persuasion to convince Olmos that it is proof of the truth. Aguirre says to take it to his friend, the town calligrapher to validate it with some other document that Olmos has access to. Olmos still skeptical agrees to use the calligrapher to validate the letter. Aguirre will wait for word and leaves. Olmos reads the letter and discovers Esmy is pregnant with D's baby.

* In her cell, Esmy sits and talks with her baby about her dream of D rescuing them and living together "happily ever after." She eats a grape.

* PT and D finish talking. They hug. PT leaves. Dolores comes out and talks to D about Dena's depression over Esmy's death. D says only time will be able to heal that wound. D then asks Dolores if she thinks MA is really pregnant. Dolores says of course MA is, and the baby will help alleviate some of the pain caused by Esmy's death.

* Fer and SK out in the middle of nowhere at night. She vents her outrage over Fer killing her daughter, the only reason of her to live, and holding her hostage in prison for so many years. Fer reasons that he wasn't responsible for Esmy's death - SK doesn't believe him and continues to vent her horror and anger - he continues to give his own mixed-up side to history. She yells that she blames him for the death of her husband and Esmy's father when BANG! the gun goes off and SK falls over the side of the cliff and POOMP! she lands face down in the dirt in the valley below. Fer looks over the edge and leaves.

Labels: Zorro

Rodgrigo is talking to the photo of his late grandfather in his study at the hacienda. Rod says he doesn't need to go to church to honor Amador when Rodrigo already feels close to his grandfather by working the land. Rod remembers his grandfather's last jima two years ago with sadness, but then brightens up. For the next jima, Gaviota will return!

Isa, in her bedroom, remembers that the upcoming jima means Gavi might be back.

Several days later, we see Hilario on horseback, riding up to the tree where Don Amador is buried. Rod is there with his horse. Hilario tells Rod the workers have arrived.

Roman has a clipboard and greets the workers as they arrive. Rod observes at a distance, on his horse. Isa is also nearby, spying on Rod. Roman gives the signal that Gavi didn't return. Bad news for Rod, Isa is thrilled!

In DF, everyone is gathered outside a church, waiting for Don Amador's Mass to start. Aaron and Minnie approach Dona Pilar, "we're here." They want to know, where is Rod? Pilar says, don't talk about him.

Mariana, in a dark pantsuit, is greeting people as they enter the church. Minnie gives her a dirty look as they pass by. Gavi's admirer from the tequila meeting gives her arm a squeeze as he passes by.

In church, the priest is talking and Aaron is nodding off. Gavi also closes her eyes and remembers when she first saw Rod, getting out of the car at the hacienda. She opens her eyes, and the guy who squeezed her arm is turned around to grin at her with a stupid look on his face. She looks away from him. Later she looks behind her and does a double take to see Clarita at the church, praying in the back. Clarita is praying to Amador, saying they will see each other again some day. Gavi turns back around to see Mr. Tequila, still with the grin, leaning toward her in anticipation.

Later that night, Gavi confronts Clarita. Why was Clarita at the church, why is she so sad that she has been crying all day? Clarita is pouty and does not want to say much. Finally, Clarita says that she knew Amador before Gavi was born, had a lot of respect for him, and he was closer to her than a relative. Gavi hugs her mom.

La familia is gathered at Dona Pilar's and all eyes are on Rod and Isa as they arrive. Isa greets Pilar and apologizes for not being at the Mass. Pilar tells her not to worry. Rod leans in to kiss Pilar ("how are you?") and she leans away. Aaron pulls Rod away, and they start talking tequila. Bruno and Aaron start going at each other, Bruno is concerned about the price of Aaron's project putting the rest of the business in danger.

Minerva is ready to pounce, and asks Aaron to tell everyone who he put in charge while he is working on his new project: Mariana Franco! Minnie helpfully points out that there is a requirement that the boss be a Montalvo. Bruno agrees. There is discussion about who should take over the job instead of Mariana. Aaron, Bruno, and Patricio say they can't do it. Aaron, drink and cigar in hand, approaches Rod and says he is the perfect person for the job. Rod is confused. Isa and Sophia come over to convince Rod to take the job. Rod blows up at everyone and says that they don't appreciate the job he is doing at the hacienda and are worried that Gaviota will return and he'll marry a jimadora! Grandma Pilar is mad and wants the familia to stop talking about the business and the hacienda.

The next day at work, Gavi tells Aaron she can't go to the junta, she's sick and needs to go to the doctor. He tells her no. Rod and Isa stroll into the lobby and ask for their plane tickets. The receptionist tells them the tickets are for tomorrow and Rod gets mad. Mariana Franco is responsible for that, and he is going to go up to talk to her. Gavi gets a call that Rod is on his way up. What to do?! She grabs a blue scarf to put over her hair and sunglasses, sitting down just as there's a knock at the door.

Rod comes into Gavi's office, angry about the tickets and yelling at her. They argue. Sophia comes in also, greets Rod and Isa. Rod sees the watch on Gavi's arm and is impactado. Isa and Sophia leave for the cafeteria. Rod tells Gavi to look him in the eyes and she doesn't. He leans down and turns her chin toward him, taking off the sunglasses. She is staring at him with big eyes. He says, it's you. They lean in close and are happy for a moment in their own little world.

Just then, Aaron opens the door. Rod and Gavi spring apart and start yelling at each other about the plane tickets. Aaron is thrilled, you've met my assistant, isn't she great? Gavi is glazed eyed. The primos leave and Rod tells Gavi they'll talk later.

At the cafeteria, Isa tells Sophia the real reason they weren't at church was that Rod was waiting for the jimadora to return. And by the way, Rod doesn't like Mariana. Minnie arrives, anticipating Mariana's destruction.

Gavi is in a trance in her office, then she realizes the is in trouble. She calls her mom. The Montalvos could throw her in jail if Rod tells them who she is. What to do? Clarita gives her some advice, based on a telenovela she remembers and tells her to be strong.

The junta is underway and Pilar tells everyone that she had a dream that Amador was not happy. Rod is thinking about how he removed Gavi's disguise. More talk about Mariana's position, who should take it? Elvira is listening outside the door with anticipation, Bruno closes the door. Rod agrees to take the position, everyone is shocked and/or thrilled. Grandma is happy.

Aaron calls Mariana into the meeting room, she thinks this is the end of her job. Rod is thrilled to see her and grinning at her. Aaron tells her to sit down, and they talk about the job arrangements. Bruno tells Marina about the Montalvo rule. Minnie, who has to be restrained, tells Gavi that she's not in charge anymore, Rod will be her new boss!

Rod looks at Gavi, she is shocked. Rod will need some info on the details of the job from Gavi, right uncle Bruno? Pilar wants the family to reconcile, especially Aaron and Minnie and Rod and Isa. Now that Isa and Rod will be in the city, Pilar thinks their marriage will be more solid. Gavi is looking ill. Isa toasts to her and Rod's first wedding anniversity. Rod looks grim. Gavi excuses herself. The family celebrates. Aaron wants to give Isa a hug.

Later, outside in the hallway, Isa tells Rod she has a special surprise for him. Daniela mocks Isa after she leaves and talks to Rod about marking both his anniversary and divorce.

Rod finds Gavi in her office and they have words. He wants to know why she changed her name and is working for the Montalvos. She tells him it just happened. Rod wants to know why he didn't hear any news of her, why she didn't come back. She says that person, who she was before, no longer exists. That died when he got married.

He says he never has touched Isa, etc. They have very specific rules for their marriage. Gavi wants to know why Isa would agree to something like that. And why Rod would stay with someone he doesn't love. He tries to explain, the problem is the Isa loves him. Gavi tells Rod that he makes her sick!

Labels: Destilando

Hi folks, Carmel is on vacation and I'm helping her out with Thursday's recap. In order to save my sanity I fast-forwarded through a number of scenes, mostly between Duhmilio/Duhlina and Don/Doña Loco. Please let me know in the Comments if I have forgotten anything important. Thanks!

Angel has his biggest scene in weeks, he tells Don Max that that Santos guy tried to kill him. Max curses Santos whom he thought was dead and Castulo who was supposed to have killed him. Angel emits a small cough or two but he's definitely looking better these days.

In a shout out to traditional healing, Dr. Vasquez inspects Duhmilio's leg and pronounces Luba a miraculous curandera. Her herbs can do much more than moderns meds.

Duhmilio agonizes about Duhlina marrying Dohlando. Cut to Duhlina, I think she is in a bedroom at La Rinconada, she stares at the bottle of Luba's magic Green Fairy Liquid that happens to be on her dresser. I'm not sure how it got there or why she has it but I guess it's important. She goes to bed at 11:00 pm as per the long closeup of her clock.

One hour later...Duhlina sleeps and a hand covers her mouth. It's Duhmilio, he says he wants to help her. OK, here we go folks, round and round the mulberry bush with these two. They go from Shhh Be Quiet I Wanna Help You to yelling loudly. Thelma, indulging in a gigantic midnight snack, eavesdrops from the hallway. She hears Duhmilio tell Duhlina that he loves her, not Thelma, with all his heart. Thelma is mid face-stuff impactada.

The new and improved Dr. Love knocks out a prison guard and steals his clothing and semi-automatic.

Luba and Gaspar hide the cofre in the cave. She stabs her table multiple times with her big knife.

Thelma sleeps with the baby. Emilio hobbles in, sees them and says "my son."

Santos finds the dead Dr. Zavela tied to a chair. He vows to avenge Dr. Zavela's death. Castulo will pay!

Don Max is in a hot rage. He threatens Castulo for lying to him about Santos. He kicks Castulo in his rock hard stomach and says he'll kill Santos himself.

Soledad has a flashback of being in bed with Don Loco. It's gross. He comes in and kisses her, but I fast-forwarded through this and all their scenes so I don't know what they said. Something stupid and repetitive I'm sure.

OK, now I am very impressed. Dumb Dr. Love has turned into James Bond. He singlehandedly breaks into the prison leaving a wake of unconscious guards behind him. He frees Elias and they run from the cell block. Cut to a shot of them laying in the back of a truck, peeking out from a coverlet of black visquine like a couple of kooky kids at the drive-in. It leaves the prison and takes them, undetected, to freedom. Hooray Dr. Love!!

Coral gets scared at El Meson and goes to spend the night in the cave with Luba and Gaspar. Coral reads the note that Emilio gave Luba and says it will put Don Loco in jail.

Next Day - Don Loco tells Mariana that everything is arranged with Dr. Vasquez. She will go to the asylum that day.

Luba kisses Gaspar goodbye. She must go to San Mateo to deliver Duhmilio's letter. They say goodbye like they'll never see each other again.

Coral and Granillo fret about how to keep El Meson in business now that the staff has changed careers from dancers to murderers. Four hot chicas show up. They say they can sing and dance. They audition by shaking their booties. They're OK, nothing special, but Granillo and Coral smile. They're an improvement over the last batch anyway.

Carmen, Rosita and Braulio are still fretting about Santos and wonder why Don Max can't leave them in peace. Speak of the Devil, Don Max In Black storms in and demands to see Santos. I must be perverted because I think he looks pretty good today. Say what you will about the guy, he is a snappy dresser. Max tries to kidnap Rosita, Braulio pulls a big knife on him.

Thelma the Stupid decides to cross the muddy river on a spindly swinging bridge while holding the baby in her arms. Duhmilio and Duhlina approach from the opposite side. Thelma threatens to throw herself and the baby into the raging torrent because she heard Duhmilio declare his eternal love for Duhlina.

Braulio punches Max but Max overpowers Braulio, big surprise...NOT, and drags Rosita out by her hair.

Don Loco and Soledad visit the one padre in town in order to plan Duhlina's marriage to Dohlando. Don Loco says all he wants to do is make his wife happy and recoup all the time they lost. Don Loco leaves the room for a moment and the Padre tells Soledad he's happy she has worked things out with DL. Soledad tells him she's just pretending with all this stuff, Loco is as loco as ever, in fact he's worse.

Grani and Coral hire the four girls. They decide to take a road trip to San Mateo to drum up new business.

Duhlina and Duhmilio leave Thelma sobbing on the bridge. They chase each other around through several scenes, generally being vague and uncommunicative but angst-ridden because of their mutual love.

Braulio berates himself for being a wimp of immense proportions and not saving his daughter from Snidely Whiplash. Santos walks in and Braulio tells him that Max just dragged Rosita off to La Rinconada.

New development #1, in which a scene moves from point A to point B instead of round and round: Malena, Dr. Vasquez and the evil Sergio are in the stagecoach taking Mariana to San Mateo. They must stop as there is a carefully place tree branch in the road. When Sergio and Dr. Vasquez get out to move the branch two masked men with guns leap out. They kick the tar and feathers out of Sergio, give a nudge-nudge-wink-wink to the doctor, and drive off with Malena and Mariana. Mariana has been rescued by Dr. Love and his sidekick Elias.

New development #2, in which Singing Aunt gets a backbone: Back at La Rinconada Aunt Rebequita hears a commotion downstairs. She rushes to the great room and sees Max trying to force himself on Rosita. She demands that he release Rosita and she tells the girl to run away, "Vete! Vete!" She and Max have glare-down. He acts like he is SO busted.

Duhlina has a flashback of Thelma threatening to throw the baby in the river, "I must renounce Emilio forever."

Tonight's big finale: Duhmilio tells Duhlina that he simply cannot allow her to marry Dohlando. I guess this is supposed to sound noble, but he just sounds like an ass.

Advance: The Cacique meets Luba on the road and threatens her.

Labels: duelo

[Hola, Fea Fans! The second half of the recap has been added.]


Marcia enters Fern and Omar’s new bachelor bunker, lugging in one of her suitcases. Fern notes that she sure brought lots of stuff with for this here visit. She clarifies for them that she is actually here to stay… for good. The guys try to smile but they are muy impactados.

Tomy and Alicia go to pre-cana class. Before they even get in the door, the church lady starts to lecture them about the sacred sacramental sacrament of marriage. She indicates that, per the church doctrine, they are must bare many children. Alicia assures the church lady that she wants many Tomasitos. Tomas is delighted with anticipation of hearing many little Oxis calling “Aaaaay, Paaaapi…”

Aldo and Lety are at his place. They are doing some major giggling and baby talk. There is knock on door. Through the glass door, we see it’s Carmina with a bottle of wine. Carmina is bummed out to see that Aldo has company. Aldo answers the door and introduces her to Lety. Carmina apologizes for interrupting, says she they can meet tomorrow instead, and leaves. [At this point my mom notes that this actress always plays bad girls and on talk shows she has made a bad impression on mom. I say, great -- all the more reason for Aldo to hook up with her. He can instruct her on all that circle of life crap, make her his new grasshopper, and at the same time open up the road for Fern and Lety.] Lety also decides to leave. She tries to look cheery as she says goodnight. Aldo looks pensive.

Marcia hasn’t even unpacked and she’s already nagging the boys about the mess in the apartment. They object to her staying but she says they are like her brothers. She says the place is a cuchitril (pigsty) and starts to clean up. Fern notes that at least now the apartment will be impeccable. He wonders id maybe Marcia is here with the intent of reviving their amor. Omar doubts it. Marcia comes in and orders them to start cleaning. This really bugs the boys, since it conflicts with all the couch potato-ing they probably had planned for the evening.

After pre-cana class. Tomas and Alicia hurry home. Tomas tells Tomama the news that Alicia wants lots of kids. Tomama is ecstatic. She announces that the first kid must be named after Tom’s dad --Pancracio!

Marcia claims the biggest bedroom for herself and tells the boys they will have to sleep together. They respond in unison “Primero muerto!” (I’d rather die first!).

Lety gets into bed and mom comes in to ask what’s wrong. Is she mad at Aldo? Lety nods yes. She explains about how they were at his house alone (and quickly clarifies nothing happened) and about his visitor, “She had a bottle of wine and to top it off, she was very beautiful!”

Meanwhile, Aldo practices his pensive look some more. He hopes Lety didn’t get mad about this sexy girl who showed up at his door, late at night, with a bottle of wine, a low cut dress, and CFM shoes.

The boys play Chin Champu (Mexican rock-paper-scissors) to decide who gets to sleep on the bed (Marcia called dibs on the other one). Fern drags Omar from the bed (or maybe vice-versa… in any case, there is a lot of romping going on... sadly, this does not lead to a pillow fight.) Fern reasons that he needs the bed because what if Marcia sees him on the couch and tries to go for some hanky panky? Omar doesn’t buy it. He stakes his claim on the bed. Despite the “I’d rather die” oath a bit earlier, Fern decides to gets into bed too. They roll around trying to get comfortable. They finally settle down but then Fern yells at Omar to stop spooning him! Priceless!

In the morning, the boys are still sleeping. Fern’s feet are at Omar head. Omar is dreaming of Aurora. He hugs Fern’s leg and talks to it sweetly. Fern wakes up and jumps out of bed. He and accuses Omar of being in Luigis’s club. This causes Omar to squeal like a teenage girl.

Tomas, Alicia, and Tomama are at a clinic to take blood samples, which are a prerequisite for their marriage license. Alicia is afraid of the needle and sways as if about to faint. Tomas puts his head on her breast to comfort her. Tomama doesn’t like this and pulls Tom’s head to her own breast. Alicia and Tomama bop Tom’s head back and forth, like a big red-headed ping-pong ball.

Lety is having breakfast with her parental units when Carolina calls her to ask if Omar got his job back. She confirms that he did and Caro is relieved. Lety giggles over Marcia’s interest in Omar. Marcia changes the subject by asking about Aurora. Lety confirms that Aurora was signed to do the campaign. Caro wonders if this will be difficult to pull off. Lety’s like “Well, Duh!”

Tomas helps Alicia as they walk into the office. She’s pouring on the drama and whining about having all her blood drained out of her.

Lety is in the vortex asking PM for so paperwork when Aldo walks in. Surprised to see him so early, she hopefully asks if he cancelled his meeting with Carmina. He tells her that his meeting is not until lates. She brings him to her office and immediately asks him to cancel the meeting, saying that Carmina “me da mal espina” (rubs her the wrong way). Aldo admits Carmina was a bad girl to show up so late at his place, but insists there is nothing to worry about. It’s time kissy-face ad nauseam.

Carmina tells her friend that she can’t believe how horrific Aldo’s girlfriend is. She goes on about how hot and smart he is. She’ll have to find a way to mix business with pleasure.

Everyone (the cuartel, Alicia, Aldo, and Lety) is busy not working in the vortex. Fern and Marcy walk in together. Alicia gasps when she sees them. She exclaims that they look so awesome together. Marcia tells everyone that she and Fern are living together now. Lety is impactada but recovers before anyone can notice. She congratulates them. You can tell she’s trying to be a good sport about it, though her heart is breaking. Fern and Marcia clarify that they are not “together,” but that they’re roomies now -- along with Omar -- because they have all sold their apartments.

Lety and Aldo exit the vortex, and Marcia speculates that Lety must really love Aldo because, not only did she not explode in a fit of jealousy, but she actually seemed happy for them. This is not what Fern wanted to hear.

In Lety’s office, Aldo has the same reaction as Marcy. He is surprised but happy that Lety didn’t get jealous. Lety turns and somberly says that, as a matter of fact, she is jealous... of that girl who showed up at Aldo’s place! Then she backs down and giggles, giving the false impression that it didn’t really bother her. Hugs and giggles… hee hee… blegh!.

Omar and Luigi wait for Aurora in front of a really nice building where they will film the RetroMode stuff. Luigi goes on and on about the virtues of Aurora. Omar gets fed up with Luigi. He wants to be the only one infatuated with Aurora. They continue to fight over who is the most fixated on Aurora as Caro walks up to them. She laughs at them, probably wondering what they would do if they realized they are fighting over LETY! She explains she is here to see her bud Aurora, plus she wants to see Omar’s face when he sees Aurora.

Aldo asks Lety if she will go to the shoot. Lety of course will be there in her Aurora get-up, so she can’t be there as Lety. She tells Aldo that she will go only if she has time. Fern comes in and tells Aldo he has great news. He is able to pay off about 50% of the Conceptos debt. Aldo says that’s cool but he is in no hurry to collect. Fern says thanks but adds that he is in a hurry, since this will at least get him half of his company back. He leans in close to suggest to Aldo that he choke. Aldo in turns leans in to fix Fern’s tie and suggest that he asphyxiate. Fern then asks Lety for help getting paperwork together for the loan payment. She tries to weasel out of it (remember, the film crew is waiting for Aurora elsewhere).

Alicia visits with Marcia. Marcia reiterates that she thinks Lety was sincere when she congratulated her and Fern. Alicia asks if Marcia plans to reconquer Fern. Marcia explains that she could have moved in with Bozo and Humbo but decided to move in with Fern instead to protect him from Omar’s influence. Alicia doesn’t buy that. Hmmmm… I’m not sure that I do either.

Lety explains that she can’t help Fern right now because she’s gotta go. Fern reminds Lety that, as her assistant, she must tell him of all her appointments, meetings, commitments, etc. She tells him that she has something personal she must attend to. He asks if it’s something personal ‘from home’ or personal ‘from the office.’ Lety’s lips are sealed. She asks him to take messages for her and mentions that it’s not necessary to tell anyone she has left the offices. He asks “Oh really? Not even Domenzain” ( in a French accent). Lety giggles. Before she leaves, Fern says he wants to make it absolutely clear that there is nothing between him and Marcy. Lety responds that she believes him, and that she just wants him to be happy. Fern asks “And are you happy?” She says that she almost always is, but sometimes… things get… complicated..

The cuartel asks Lety for permission to leave to take care of personal business, but they won’t say where.

In his cubby hole, Fern winders what Lety meant about her life being complicated. How does her life get complicated? He recalls that she said it was something personal. He thinks it might be something ‘dark.’ He recalls how his life got complicated with all the lies he had to tell to cover up his cheating on Marcy, running from one woman to another.… He jumps out of his seat, saying that it can’t be. He calls Omar. He is relieved when he realizes that Lety is not with him (he must have been thinking that maybe Marcy was right about Lety trying to hook Omar). Fern tells Omar that Lety is being weird. Omar is not interested in Lety and hangs up Fern. Fern tells the dead phone line “Yeah, I’ll call you later!” He decides he must find out what’s going on.

Omar is anxious about seeing Aurora again. Caro pretends to see her and points. Omar looks. She points in another direction. He looks. They go on like this and she laughs at his gullibility.

Aurora finally arrives. She is wearing a pale blue leopard print dress. She looks fabulous and, to her credit, she is push up bra today!

Luigi runs to her and tries to kiss her. She pulls away and says he’ll ruin her makeup. He is not offended; in fact he is charmed to see she is a true diva. Caro gives Aurora a thumbs up. Aurora Luigi for a drink and a kiwi salad. Ok, now Luigi is offended. He tells her he is not the chacha (short for muchacha -- literally “young woman” -- which is how a maid is sometimes referred to, as in “my muchacha is very good with the ironing, but she couldn’t fry an egg to save her life…”

Labels: fea

Monday's episode begins with Pilar's doctor telling Larry and Gaby that Pilar will not be able to get pregnant again. Synthesizers of doom close the scene.

Then we're transported to Diana's office at the fabrica, where Max has comes storming in wearing black pants, a lemon yellow dress shirt, and a black vest. He looks like he should be dealing poker at a casino or something. They have the same discussion they've had for days - D: Don't storm into my office like that. M: I will if I want to. We have to talk about OUR son. M: It's MY son. Same old same old. Except that Diana admits that Gaviota the lawyer/singer/perfume executive has informed her that he has right to see his son. They argue over the terms of the visitation, and Diana threatens to take the baby out of the country. Max tells her that if she does, he'll take the baby away from her forever. Diana responds with her typical glassy eyed stare. Suddenly she pulls herself together and lets him know that she'll fight like a fiera for her son! Their argument is broken up by Emilio and Alvaro who come in to tell them that all of the employees can hear their fight. Diana orders Max out of her office, Max threatens to take the baby, and turns to leave her as she sports her best glassy eyed stare. Alvaro tells her to stay calm, it's difficult for a mother to lose her son.

We return to hospital TeleMiami, where the doc is telling Larry that the violent fall is the reason Pilar won't have children. Unfortunately, these things happen everyday. He leaves Larry alone with Gaby so that he can chew her out for pushing Pilar down the steps. He tells her she will always have the death of his son on her conscience. Pobre de Gaby!

Back to the fabrica, where Alvaro is watching Diana drink a glass of water. He tells her that from now on she should call security if Max comes back to the office. She doesn't think he'll come back. *HUH?* Bueno. Back to work. By the way, Alvaro has an idea for a way for them to get some good publicity - how about a cocktail party and invite owners of the other fabricas to make them think that we've recovered financially so that they're lower their guard? Diana thinks this is a swell idea - as long as it's not too expensive. She tells him they'll host it at the office to cut costs. Alvaro thinks it's a great way to get some free publicity - and they can announce their substitue president. Diana's not sure if Fedora will be back, but tells him to go ahead and plan it within the next two days. There's nothing like a last minute cocktail party at the office to show the competitors that you're back on top!

Jump to psycho mansion, where we're treated to a showdown between Fedora and Max regarding the upcoming custody battle. Fedora promises to keep Maxito out of the evil clutches of the Irazabal clan, who only know how to cause pain. Diana is just trying to protect her son! Max puts his hands on his hips (which puts some serious strain on the buttons of his yellow blouse) and lets her know that she better not try to keep him from his son.

At hospital TeleMiami, Larry is telling Pilar's friend Sandy the bad news when little doormat tries to offer him a cup of water. Larry knocks the cup from her hand and tells her this is all her fault for pushing Pilar! Larry storms off and Gaby pleads with Sandy to tell the truth, but we all know that Sandy's not going to stand up to the evil Pilar.

Next we're transported to Fedora's bedroom where she's sneaking a few fingers of whiskey from a crystal decanter when someone knocks at the door. She stashes the bottle and lets Diana in so that she can give Diana the lowdown on what she and Max talked about by the pool. He wants to see the baby every day, and on weekends, and Fedora advises her to work something out without going to court, because Max has a good case against her. Cue the synthesizers of doom!
After the commercial break we go to Paco's apartment where Comisario Gomez is at the door and wants to speak with octavia. The Comisario is investigating the death of Reinosa and wants to know if O's wedding was planned or was at the last minute. She lets him know that her private life is none of her business, and she does not need his best wishes because she's already immensely happy.

Back to Fedora, where she's telling Diana that right now Diego is the legal father, but if Max has a DNA test, Diana will be at a disadvantage because she lied to Max about the baby.

At Paco's, Gomez thinks it's interesting that O is now married to a man who used to be Fedora's lover. So did she marry for love or revenge? She doesn't care who he used to be involved with, he belongs to her now. Why are you here anyway? He lets her know that he's there to investigate Reinosa's murder. She basically tells him 'sorry about your bad luck. I don't remember a thing.' As he leaves he tells her in a sarcastic tone that she looks beautiful as always, Paco must feel proud to have a wife as special as her.

Fedora and Diana are still planning their strategy to win custody of Maxito. GO! FIGHT! WIN! (Sorry - I was just really moved by Fedora's speech).

At Emilio's place Max is filling Emilio and Yolanda in on his plan to take Diana's baby. Yolanda, always the voice of reason, asks him to think this over carefully - if he does it, Diana will hate him forever. He doesn't care - he's already lost Diana, but he won't lose his baby too. Emilio tries to make him understand -- why push her away? YOu love her and she loves you. By the way, there's going to be a cocktail party at the fabrica. Max is excited about this - he's going to go, since he works for the competition. And he's going to take Camila to make Diana jealous! Emilio sums it up perfectly when he says "Eso es una locura, Max!" Max puts on his best sucking lemons face.

Octavia is pacing like a caged lion as she tells Bruna that the comisario is just trying to intimidate her, he couldn't have discovered anything. Bruna is impactada - does O have something to hide? O denies any involvement in the murder, and makes Bruna promise not to say a word to Paco. Of course Paco walks in just in time to hear Bruna agree to the promise.

We return to the mansion where Diana is telling Fedora about the cocktail party. Fedora loves the idea, as long as they're not "throwing the house through the window" -- a phrase that's been used several times in this episode. Fedora also tells Diana that she's not ready to return to work yet, that Diana and Gaby should continue to run the business. Somebody needs to tell Fedora that Gaby has a serious attendance issue. I can't remember the last time she went to work!
At Paco's apartment, Octavia tells Paco that the secret is that she was cooking a stuffed chicken for him, but she burned it. Paco the genius falls for this and tells her not to worry, they can go out to dinner.

Fedora and Diana are back to discussing the cocktail party, when they're interrupted by Gaby, who enters the room in tears with the story of Pilar's fall and Larry's accusations. She doesn't want Larry to think that she could do something like that.

Meanwhile, Larry's at Pilar's bedside when she wakes and starts talking trash about Gaby. She knew what she was doing - she tried to kill Pilar and the baby. Por eso, he should hate Gaby for all of the pain she's caused. Not to worry, all of the love that Larry had for Gaby has turned to hate. He'll never forgive her.

Skip to Ignacio's place, where camila is on the phone saying that of course she'll accompany Max to the party tomorrow night! She hangs up and does a happy dance for Sylvita, whose wig of the day is orange and yellow. It's the usual silliness with these two. Sylvia wants to go to the party, she's sure she'll meet a millionaire and become a trophy wife.

Back to the mansion, the family is assembled by the pool where Nancy is serving breakfast. Diana invites Diego to the party, but he refuses. PSA regarding disabled people being able to have fun too - Caramelo tell him that heck, in the US, there was once a disabled president! Diego's not changing his tune - he said he's not going and he's not going!

We're treated to some scenes about town in Miami, and then we Skip forward to party time! Alvaro enters the room with Diana and Gaby on each arm. Diana's wearing a slinky green dress that's a little more grown up than the pink monstrosity she wore to the last cocktail party. Gaby's wearing a chocolate brown strapless number but she's ruined the look with a pink headband that makes her look like she's going to the prom. The press asks Diana for a statement from the young new president, and she tells them that it's a challenge, but she has valuable employees and they're hosting the party to show that soon they'll be back on top. Cut to commercial.

We return from the commercial to see a car moving slowly throught the parking lot. Will there be another drive-by shooting? No, it's just Syliva, who's car has broken down. What bad luck! It's a good think the fabrica is close enough that she can walk - it would be a shame if the guests missed a chance to see her Cruella DeVille wig and coordinating black and white outfit - complete with white go-go boots!

Pilar is holding court in her hospital room, where Yolanda has come to check in on her. Yolanda sends Larry off to the cafeteria to get some tea for Pilar, and Yolanda asks her if it's true that Gaby pushed her or if she made it up to get Larry back. The synthesizers tell us we're not getting an answer just yet...

Back to the party, where Alvaro introduces Diana as the new president of the fabrica. He tells them that she's young, but she's a quick study - in just a few days she's learned what she needs to know! Then Diana gives a little speech where she tells them that it's a challenge, but she has faith. blah blah blah. Then the moment we've all been waiting for: Max arrives with Camila on her arm! Diana wants to know what he's doing there, but Alvaro says he didn't invite him. Caramelo asks Emilio if he invited Max, and he says that he told him about the party, but didn't invite him. Alvaro tells her that he's only there to aggravate her, she shouldn't let him get to her. This night is hers.

Skip to Sylvia, who's hoping that God gives her a little favor and lets her meet a rich, handsome guy tonight. Skip to Pancho the Naco who's saying that he doesn't have a single dollar, maybe he should go back to smuggling jewels. His buddy notices a mujercita walking towards them. Pancho says "Mujercita? With those clothes and that wig she looks like a clown!" They throw some pantyhose over their heads and jump out to rob her.

At the party, Gaby asks Max what he's doing there, and asks him to leave. Nope, not going anywhere, chica. I'm employed by the competition and I'm just here for the free booze. My family is in ruins and beer ain't cheap. Cut to commercial.

After the commercial we return to the robbery, where Sylvia shows Pancho and his buddy her best Ninja moves and manages to break free.

Meanwhile, Gaby is still pleading with Max to leave or she'll call security. He knows that she's bluffing, they won't want the bad press. Emilio convinces her that Max is right, they don't want a scandal. Gaby walks off and Emilio follows, leaving Camila to gloat about the shocked look on Diana's face when they arrived. Max agrees, and says she looked like she was about to explode from jealousy. Which is exactly what he wants - she should suffer the way that he suffered! Diana wants to throw him out on his ear, but Alvaro is still trying to tell her that the best thing to do is have a good time and ignore Max. Caramelo agrees. Just then the reporter approaches Diana and asks if she can take a photo of Diana with one of the previous owners of the fabrica. Cue the heartbeat track. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. The reporter explains that she wants to show that there are no hard feelings, and Max happily agrees. They stand in front of the elevator and prepare for the picture to be taken when the doors open and crazy Sylvia comes crashing through the door, knocking both Max and Diana to the floor. Diana lands on top of Max, but ultra smooth Max quickly rolls her over so that he can carress her face and come in for the KISS. For once, she doesn't resist. All of the guests are in shock, and the photographers are having a field day with this Kodak moment. Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada

Havent been able to do the recap. Perhaps y'all can post in the comments the gist of what happened. I will publish the recap later this week (meaning this weekend). Sorry!

Labels: duelo

Welcome back to Our Lady of La Selva sin Nombre, where Mother Superior, Hermana Sol, and Grillo are in Diana’s old room. Sister Sunshine explains to the occupant of the bed that they are in a convent in the middle of the jungle. In her “Once upon time…” voice, la Madre Elegida says they need to know her name, what she was doing all by herself in the middle of the dreaded Selva sin Nombre, etc. She concludes with, “You are safe now, all is well,” and smiles beatifically. We catch a glimpse of blonde hair at the edge of the frame, followed by a close-up of a female hand. This must be Marfil. Kudos to the manicurist: Marfil hasn’t been to the salon in weeks. She’s had multiple scuffles with her captors, survived a plane crash, trekked through the jungle, and she hasn’t broken a nail or even chipped the polish.

We move on to Perfumes R Us. Señora Presidenta Diana is typing away when Emilio enters to say that Max is outside and wants to see her. Before Emilio can make it out the door with Our Heroine’s trumped-up excuse, Max bursts in. Exit Emilio. Our Star-Crossed Lovers bicker over his paternal rights and this turns into the same old “You didn’t believe me” / “I said I was sorry” argument. She tries to throw him out as the Orchestra of Doom tells us that someone’s about to be impactado. Max tries to reason with Our Heroine. Why can’t they deal with their problems in a civilized manner? Why do they have to fight like cat and dog every time they see each other? These questions are too weighty for Diana’s little brain to handle all at once. Close-up of Our Heroine, clueless.

Over at Paco’s, Bruna and Lady Octopus are gloating over the Botoxed One’s visit to Gaviota. Lady O must have been having a wardrobe dilemma this morning; torn between a slinky cocktail dress and her beloved polyester slacks, she decided to wear both. While it’s not the most horrendous look I’ve ever seen (I worked in the rag trade for six years), it has the unfortunate effect of thickening her waist and widening her hips. But I digress. Octavia congratulates herself on driving Gaviota to attempt suicide. Bruna smiles and chuckles wickedly to signal her approval.

At TeleMiami General, Gaviota’s jonesing for a drink. Fortunately, she’s got that bottle of scotch tucked under the blanket. Unfortunately, Little Doormat pops in before she can even get the cap off. Good news: Fediota can go home tomorrow. Apparently the hospital staff hasn’t noticed anything odd about the pallor, the shakes, the whiskey on her breath. Oh, that’s right. Half the médicos in the hospital are on suspension pending trial for drug theft. Poor Dr. Quintana to attend to all the patients by himself. En fin, the String Quartet of Doom plays the Melancholy Samba. “I will fight for your happiness, blah, blah, blah.” Rehash of Gaviota’s bright hopes and rosy dreams before Paco’s ill-fated trip to Key West. Gaby’s heard all this many times over but is deeply moved nonetheless.

At Casa Naco, Pancho is berating Paola, who sits dolefully on the couch with the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor trickling down her cheek. He tells her she’s destroying herself. She replies that he’s destroying her. She’s using again because he’s done nothing about divorcing that cheap redhead Caramelo. Pancholón sticks to his point: Peyola was getting high before they got together. She does a fair amount of wailing to the tune of “You lied to me from the start.” He tells her to stop crying. He doesn’t like to see women cry. He’s a “macho muy macho,” the most macho guy in the barrio, and that’s why he has two wives. Which doesn’t excuse Paola going out and getting wasted. Pancho has missed his calling. He should be a pimp. In fact, he ought to go into business with Bruna. She would make an excellent brothel-keeper, with her black-ringed eyes and demonic laughter, gleefully pinching his lingerie-clad stable into submission.

We head over to Emilio’s to find Yolanda and René worrying about Paola, accompanied by the Piano of Doom. They say nothing new about Peyote’s dilemma until René suggests that they ask Octavia to intervene. Yolanda takes a deep breath. There’s a preamble to give the Orchestra of Doom some time to join the piano, but it’s not long before they build to a crescendo. Big Doormat tells René that Lady Octopus has rejected Paola for being illegitimate. And then Our Comic Studmuffin does the unthinkable: He is impactado, just plain old impactado, without the seventh-grade class clown faces and gestures.

Back to the lovebirds. Pancho tells his fierita that she’d better cut out the drugs or… Paola finishes the sentence for him: “Or you’ll leave me?” Hysterics ensue, but they’re mercifully short-lived. Maudlin violin music as Pancho tells her to stop crying, he loves her, etc. Then we get the more familiar String Quartet of Doom sawing away ominously as he goes on to say that he loves both of his wives, in his way. Things would be easier if she and Caramelo just accepted the situation. More blather about the needs of machos muy machos until Paola slaps him and runs to the bedroom. Señor Macho Machísimo is not pleased. The little woman has a lesson to learn.

Back in Diana’s office, Max is still trying vainly to talk some sense into Our Heroine. She’s bored by it all and just wants him to leave. He may have a light workload today, but Diana has a fábrica to save. Our Hero gets the “New Diana” speech and shakes his head in disbelief. It’s a bad sign when not even Max is dumb enough to buy this crap. The speech finally winds down. She has a meeting in ten minutes. He refuses to leave so Diana gets up to go. As she turns towards the door I can see exactly why her little gray skirt looks trashy. The slit is lined up with her rear cleavage and starts just under the buttock. That is not cute. En fin, Max jumps up and prevents her from opening the door. He threatens legal action. She tells him to leave, which he does. Close-up of Diana, rolling her eyes heavenward as she lets out a sigh. Commercial.

We come back from commercial to Casa Naco. Paola is stretched out on the bed, crying. Enter Pancho. He loved her from the start. But she needs to stop crying or she’ll look ugly and he won’t love her any more. (Yes, he really said that.) She begs him not to leave her, she loves him and can’t live without him. He can’t live without her either. As they hug, he thought-bubbles that he can’t live without Caramelo, either. They have make up sex.

Time to see what’s shakin’ at Dr. Evil’s Lair. He’s on the couch, in his bathrobe and slippers. I’ve missed a couple of episodes and am relieved to see that Camila has returned the costume she borrowed from Rebelde. I’m especially glad that she has also shelved the fedora. Now I can stop expecting her to suddenly do a Bob Fosse number, complete with “jazz hands.” Silva is there, doing a rather tawdry impersonation of Cher in “Moonstruck.” She tries to join in the scheming, but her lovely cousin shuts her up with verbal threats and Bruna-like pinches. Camila asks Ignacio if he knows a good lawyer. She wants one for Max, so he can get custody of Mini Max. A custody battle will widen the rift between Max and Diana; they will hate each other forever, etc., etc., etc. Ignacio likes this idea. He and Camila toast the success of their new enterprise while Silvia perches on the arm of the sofa, ruefully massaging her bruised shoulder.

We check in on Gaviota. She still can’t get her drink on because Diana has joined them. She tells Fediota about the heroic efforts that she and Emilio are making to save Perfumes R Us. After an awkward silence and some prompting on Gaviota’s part, Diana brings up the pending custody battle. Fedora heaves a sigh. Damn. Now she really needs that drink. Diana wants Gaviota to represent her in court. Gav admits to feeling less than enthusiastic about it, but she agrees. In a weary voice almost drowned out by the Orchestra of Doom, she vows that Max will never take Diana’s child away.

Aw, man, we’re going back to Casa Naco. I’m sick of these two. Pancho is asleep. Paola is at the dresser, brushing the ends of her hair. The doorbell rings. Wondering who it could be at this hour, she goes to answer. Gratuitous close-up of Señor Macho and the man-boobs that drive women wild. And speaking of wild women, guess who’s at the door? That’s right, girls and boys, Caramelo’s come over to play. Paola reacts with a “Good God, not you again!” while Caramelo stands with hand on hip and head slightly tilted. “That’s right, skank, it’s me again.” She swaggers into the living room. She just came by to remind Peyola that Caramelo de Cianuro is Pancholón’s real wife. These encounters would be more entertaining if at least one of the ladies packed heat. If it ever comes to a gunfight, my money’s on Caramelo. Paola would probably get nervous or high and put a bullet through one of her Manolo Blahniks instead of Our Good Sex Kitten. Anyway, it’s the usual “Pancho’s mine!” “No, he’s mine!” until Caramelo goes for Paola’s throat. Enter Lala. She breaks it up and threatens to throw them out. She gives them the “Pancho’s a dirtbag, have some self-respect” lecture.

Over at TeleMiami General, Gaviota’s alone and looking a little more relaxed. Apparently she managed to knock back a couple of stiff ones after the Hermanas Soriano finally left. That’s good, because Max enters the room. Fediota doesn’t waste much time informing him that she is once again Diana’s legal counsel. Our Hero counters by saying that he’ll throw TeleMiami’s best lawyer into the ring with her. Gaviota just wants him out of her daughter’s life. “Never!” Max thunders. They will never keep him away from his child. Exit Max. Close-up of Gaviota, troubled. Commercial.

At Casa Naco, Lala is still going on about dignity and self-respect. It’s waste of breath. More “Pancho’s mine!” “No, he’s mine!” Another intervention. After Caramelo apologizes to Lala and exits, Lala asks where Pancho is. “He’s sleeping.” That’s the last straw. Cut to the bedroom. Enter Lala with a large bucket of water. She pours the water on Pancholón. What is it with older ladies dousing troublesome youngsters on this show? It doesn’t improve their behavior.
We now find ourselves at the Convent in the Middle of the Jungle. Hermana Sol is saying good-night to their not-so-mysterious guest. She turns out the light and leaves.
Back to Casa Naco. Pancho enters the living room, wrapped in a sheet. Our Sleazeball Studmuffin wants to know why Lala drenched him like that. The bed’s going to get moldy; what did he do now? Paola sulks as Lala rehashes the War of the Wives. She tells her son that she can’t have these escándalos in her house every day. If he doesn’t make a decision, Lala will kick him out. Not likely. She’s an enabler. For all the shame and heartache Pancho has caused her, similar threats only result in Vieja continuing to support, feed, and clean up after him. Exit Lala, probably to change the sodden bedding.

In her office at the convent, Mother Superior lights a candle and crosses herself. There’s a knock at the door and Hermana Sol enters. La Madre Elegida remarks how strange it is that Marfil hasn’t said a word since her rescue. Sor Hermana agrees. They don’t even know what to call her other than “the woman they found in the jungle,” a slightly more convenient monicker than “the woman they found half-strangled and left for dead in the river in the middle of the jungle without a name.” Bueno, they wonder who she is and how she got there, making no connection between Marfil and the recent plane crash.

Casa Naco again. Paola says he doesn’t love her. He claims he just proved it by the hot make up sex they had. Yes, but she left everything for him, and he won’t leave Caramelo. The “Soy un macho” speech again. His fierita can’t handle the full force of his super-lovin’ all by herself. She might spontaneously combust, like the eponymous heroine of “Semele” after seeing her lover Zeus in all his divine glory. Paola calls him a few names, says he doesn’t love her, and runs out. Cue festive music for a close-up of Pancho. Again he reflects that he should have been born in a muslim country where every varón is the master of an adoring, harmonious harem. Yeah, right.

At Villa Vengeance, Gaviota and Our Heroine are strolling around the patio. Gaviota, looking very 80’s in her oversized, belted red shirt and black leggings, is glad to be home, surrounded by her loved ones: Diana, Gaby, Mini Max, Johnny Walker…Mother and daughter then discuss the custody battle. Fediota lets her know that Max will probably win visitation rights. Diana is impactada. Commercial.

Diego is in the back yard of Villa Vengeance. He is joined by Pancholón. He tells Big Bro his secret: He can stand up and take a few steps by himself. They high-five each other. Diego then asks his brother for a massage. Pancho immediately balks. His Machismo is too strong for one woman alone to handle, yet it will go out like a match if he lays hands on another man. Oookaaay. Diego has to tell him that it’s not kind of massage that high-ranking politicians and evangelical leaders get. It’s just to strengthen his leg muscles. He goes on to explain why they have to keep this a secret from everyone. Pancho tells Diego to forget about Diana. Diego vows that Max and Diana will never be happy if he can help it. He plans to remain an obstacle on their road to happiness.

Cut to Pilar and Sandy at the mall. Our Scheming Sex Kitten is in the mood to shop for maternity wear. Then Pilar spies Gaby, window-shopping in a tomato-red mini dress. Before Sandy has time to be impactada, Pilar bounds over to confront her rival. What’s Gaby doing here? This is a mall for rich people. They snipe at each other regarding Little Doormat’s social status and then start bickering about Larry. Gaby is as tired of this crap as I am and tries to walk away. Pilar follows her and manages to stop her at the top of the escalator. While Sandy shouts “¡No seas naca!” Pilar tries to provoke a shoving match with Little Doormat. Slo-mo montage: Close-up of Pilar stepping back onto the escalator. Close-up of Pilar screaming. Close-up of Sandy screaming while she and Gaby watch Our Evil Sex Kitten fall. Pilar lets out a little scream every bump of the way. When she hits the mezzanine, she rolls over into an unconscious heap. Back in real time, Sandy runs down the escalator, shrieking her name. We leave her to revive Pilar with the shake-and-shout maneuver while Gaby looks down on the scene in horror.

There’s a visitor at Emilio’s. Debora answers the door. Enter Diana, who sweeps in as if she owns the whole building. She wants to talk to Max. Our Hero isn’t there. Junior high-type insults are exchanged. Exit Diana. Close-up of Debora looking seriously miffed, then anxious.

Gaby’s pacing the corridor at TeleMiami General. Granny M’s old red couch has been moved out of Pancho’s room and parked against the wall. Enter Larry. He came as soon as he got the call from Sandy. He asks after Gaviota. Little Doormat gives him the happy news. Enter Sandy. Thank God Lunkhead’s here, Pilar has done nothing but call for him. She lost the baby. Que sorpresa. Gaby gets a bad case of the dry heaves as Larry and Sandy hurry down the hall. Close-up of Gaby, still heaving.

Cut to Pilar’s room. She looks remarkably hale and hearty for someone who just miscarried an hour ago. She fumes about Little Doormat. As Larry and Sandy enter, I notice that Granny M’s old red couch somehow made it down the hall and into Pilar’s room before they did. En fin, Pilar tearfully claims that Gaby deliberately pushed her down the escalator. Larry is impactado. Commercial.

We come back from commercial to Emilio’s. Debora is on the couch, leafing through a magazine. Max is on his way out. With his pale yellow shirt, dark vest and slacks, he looks like he’s going to tend bar somewhere. Debora casually mentions that Diana stopped by. That stops Our Hero in his tracks. She then accuses Max and Diana of using the custody battle as a smokescreen for their torrid affair. Max tells her to mind her own business. Debora goes into Chihuahua-on-crack mode, driving Max out of the apartment. Close-up of Debora

We go from one shrew to the other with a close-up of Pilar, complete with GTTD, as she repeats her accusations against Little Doormat. In fact, she’s going to file charges. And Larry has to hate Little Doormat, too, blah, blah, blah. Sandy tells her to calm down and suggests that Lunkhead have a chat with Dr. Quintana. As soon as he’s out the door, Sandy urges Pilar to stop telling so many lies. Gaby didn’t try to push her down the escalator. It was the other way around. It isn’t right, etc., etc. Pilar, however, is in Fiera mode. She grabs Sandy’s wrist and snarls that as her friend, Sandy has to support her in everything.

Cut to Larry, hurrying down the corridor. Gaby stops him to ask how Pilar is. Lunkhead has decided to believe Pilar. What does Gaby care? How could she go so far? Before this idiocy can proceed any further, Dr. Quintana appears. Pilar will never be able to conceive again. Round robin of close-ups: Larry, impactado; Quintana, muy serio; Gaby, impactada; Larry again, looking accusingly at Gaby. Nobody seems to grasp that having Pilar out of the gene pool is a good thing.

Over at Perfumes Gaviota, Max bursts into Diana’s office. Their squabble over visitation rights is interspersed with the “mi hijo”/“no, nuestro hijo” bickering. Diana resorts to name calling and Max literally applauds her dirty mouth. Diana threatens to leave the country with Mini Maxi. Maxi Maxi tells her he’ll go for sole custody if she tries anything underhanded. Dueling close-ups.

Roll credits

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