Saturday, February 21, 2009

Tontas no Van Friday 2/20 Oh What a Night!

Our amazing evening begins with two short scenes from the other day. First, Chayo, surrounded by friends at the Institute, receives a call from Eduardo's lover, who warns Chayo that Ed is going to divorce her, and then marry the amante. In the other scene, Lucía tells Meño that Charly is selling drugs.

In Santi’s office, Paulina complains that Isabel showed a lack of taste and breeding by not inviting Pau to the boda. Santi calmly points out that the wedding was for guests, friends and family, and Pau doesn’t fall into any of these categories. Pau then insults Isabel, calling her a cartoon hippie. Now Santi’s not so calm. He stands up, tells Pau that the only time he has ever laid a hand on a woman was when he operated – don’t make him break that record now! Paulina snarls some more, when Arturo’s Mom Margarita enters, accompanied by Hortenisa, who ushers Pau out of the office (crying “no me toques” all the way). Margarita wants to be prettier, younger, what can Santi do? Turns out the real problem is that Arturo has a lover.

At a fancy outdoor restaurant, Patricio confronts his Dad about having a lover again. Art tells Pat not to meddle in his private life. Fine, replies Pat, then take back this key to the safe deposit box if you don’t want me to meddle. Art denies this is meddling, rather it’s to save Pat’s mother’s life after Arturo dies.

Back in his office, Santi advises Margarita that plastic surgery isn’t going to solve her problems, she needs another kind of help. He suggests some kind of therapist (maybe another of Santi’s patients will become one of Candy’s clients!).

Well, Pat was given specific instructions not to open the safe deposit box until Arturo died. So where is he now? At the bank, as the attendant carries a silver gray metal box to him, leaving him to determine what Dad was hiding.

It’s evening, and Ed has prepared a romantic dinner for him and Chayo. As he finishes pouring the wine, Chayo walks in, and slams the door, obviously angry. She throws down her pocketbook, as he wonders what’s up. She grabs the wine glass, and downs it in one gulp. She informs him that the tonta (her) who doesn’t criticize, and who didn’t get mad out of fear, is no more. She’s had it. She’s going to be in charge of her own life. She drinks HIS glass of wine. If he wants a divorce, fine. Ed’s getting frantic, and after Chayo relates that the amante called her, HE pours two more glasses, which they both drink. He says the amante is lying. Chayo doesn’t trust either of them. Ed says he’ll prove he is through with the lover, and everything the lover says is a lie. Deal, responds Chayo, and they clink glasses.

Now we see our darling Marissa, in Candy’s office, looking at Candy’s computer diary, talking on the phone to a friend. As she’s talking, Candy happens to approach the doorway, and hears and sees all. Marissa tells her phone friend what she thinks of Candy – Candy acts like a friend, then wants to stab you in the back. Mari picks up a letter opener/knife and says if Candy had a pocketknife like what I have in my hand, she’d be stabbing me right now. Mari looks down at her tummy, and as she ends the conversation with the friend, complains about her escuincle (which seems to show she’s not even so happy about her little baby to be. I think escuincle just means a kid, but it’s not such an endearing term. Or maybe it’s a “low-class” word, I’m not sure). Candy repeats the word to herself with a questioning face, as she quietly exits.

Santiago is sadly remembering that Mari made him swear to forget Candy, and they both swore, although their fingers were crossed. Donato brings him a drink to deaden the pain.

Candy is walking at night, talking on the phone to Lulu, telling Lu about the baby clothes, the reading of the diary, the escuincle remark, what’s up with Marissa? Lu thinks Mari doesn’t really want (or love, it’s the same word, quiere) the baby. Candy doesn’t think things are too bad, but Lulu cautions her, watch out for Marissa! Please!

After the commercial, Ed asks Chayo are you ready? Ready, she answers, as they clink glasses, down another round each, and he dials the amante, with the phone on the table, on speaker. After the amante answers, Ed asks her what was the deal with telling his wife he was going to divorce her? Amante admits she made it up (Ed’s happily gesturing see, see?), but amante adds does he think she’s going to stand idly by with him happy with his wife, and sending her (the amante) to the devil? (at this, Chayo wants to strangle the phone). Ed grabs Chayo’s hands, and tells the amante okay, that’s all I wanted to know, but the amante says, wait, remember the great time we had when….Ed quickly presses the hangup button, as Chayo grabs his hands to stop it. Ed thinks he’s proven his point, but Chayo says you’re not getting off that easily.

We switch to Candy, at home on the computer, staring off into space. Chava comes in without knocking, is sent back to enter again properly, which he does. When he comes back in, he wants his bedtime kiss, but notices that Candy is a little sad. She denies this, wants about 35 kisses, they hug, and he tells her he got a perfect 10 on the homework she helped him with, and the teacher likes him, and said he was the only one who got everything right. Candy praises the teacher, and tells Chava how he’s her whole life. They hug and kiss some more, as Chava goes off to bed. At least Candy does have this one bright spot in amongst her troubles, but she then flashes back again to the wedding, where she swore (with fingers crossed) to forget Santiago. She thinks to herself the baby needs a papa who loves him, and therefore, there’s nothing more to consider. Candy will have to forget about Santiago.

Well, I guess Ed is trying to convince Chayo a little more, because at this point, they’re slow dancing (remember how much wine they drank!). She has pardoned him, but she still doesn’t trust him. He smiles and wants to know if she wants a little test of his love. She’s up for that, but she also wants him to be committed to her. He says, that’s the problem, he doesn’t exactly know how to behave to show he’s committed. He wants her to help. Can’t she help? They’re both smiling now, and kissing a little, and hugging a little, as he jokes about her little kiss, saying eso estuve medio chafa – literally that was half shoddy, but she’s laughing and hugging him. It’s nice to see them happy.

We switch gears to a weeping Lucía. Donato knocks, tells her that Charly has asked for her twice now, what should Donato tell him. Nothing. Lucía doesn’t want to see him now.

Meño is pacing the floor at home, waiting for Charly. (Let me just say in advance, I don’t think he’s handled this too well. When Charly wanted a moto, Meño just said forget about it, I’d rather have an angry son than a dead son. But that’s not the way to deal with things. I think Meño should have stayed calm, said maybe one day you can get one, but you should save up, and in the meantime, research motorcycles on line, give him some articles, say maybe in a few years, and with safety classes, something like that. Meño’s quick and extreme response wasn’t enough. It’s just like when everyone told Charly and Luc about sex. Use a condom. That was it, one sentence. Of course it didn’t work. They need to take more time with their teenagers. Of course we’re just seeing snaphots, and maybe there were more conversations, but the results speak for themselves).

Okay, end of sermon. It’s time for tonight’s key scene (or scenes, a lot is going on). Charly comes home, Meño grabs the front of his shirt violently, saying we have to talk! Candy comes downstairs, what’s going on? Don’t meddle, reponds, Meño. Doorbell rings, and it’s Santi, so Candy and Santi go outside to talk.

Meanwhile, in Mexico City, Patricio confronts a drinking Arturo in Art’s office. Pat slams a manila envelope down on the desk, demanding, what’s this?

Santi and Candy are walking along at night, Santi pretending to shield Candy from paparazzi, he doesn’t want any more photos of them kissing, but Candy says not to worry, there won’t be any more kissing. Santi can’t even remember what he wanted to talk about, but Candy has come to a decision. They should forget each other. This will be their adios. Santi is acting calm, sure, that’s fine. Candy is getting a little teary, as she adds that she shouldn’t be the godmother of the baby either. Santi agrees, they both say adios, Candy starts to walk away. Santi says this is when, in the old movies, the hero and the beautiful girl make up, but Candy says this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. Goodbye.

But their hearts are breaking, as Santi gets in his car and drives off.

Back home, Meño is reading Charly the riot act. There are only two places to end up with drugs, dead or in jail. Charly protests, so now you care, when you abandoned me years ago! Meño argues that his mother kicked him out. Oh, you poor victim, says Charly sarcastically to his father. If I want to sell drugs, I’ll sell them. If I want to buy a moto, I’ll buy it. Candy comes in, telling Charly she understands he wants to be a rebel, but this is a crime. Charly shoots back, yeah, well wasn’t what YOU did, pretending to be dead, a crime? Meño yells at Charly you’re not gonna sell drugs, or else I’ll…..Or else what, screams Charly, are you going to hit me? And Meño does. He slaps him, and Charly runs out. Candy runs after. She tries to grab him. He tells her to leave him in peace! He runs into the middle of the street, just as Santiago’s car zooms around the bend, and despite his braking, crashes into Charly! Charly’s out cold on the ground, bleeding from his forehead. Candy is distraught. Santi is calmer, checks Charly, don’t worry, he’s going to be okay. Meño runs up, also distraught. Santi reassures them, and calls for an ambulance, it’s urgent!

In our parallel storm, Arturo scolds Pat for opening the safe deposit box before he died. But now Pat knows. Right, Pat says he now knows his father is a murderer. It turns out that Arturo has built a number of buildings not to code, to save money. He used third rate materials, and the buildings are structurally unsound. Pat is incensed. It’s a crime, and people could die. This report says the buildings are unsafe. Yeah, well, the inspector changed the official report, so the one that’s filed says everything’s fine, counters Art. Pat shouts back of course! You bought that contractor, the way you buy everything. But what am I supposed to do with these papers? Art tells him that when Art dies, Pat will have to manage things, so he has to know about this. Pat keeps insisting, what if a building collapses, or there’s an earthquake? Well, we’d lose everything, and your mother would be on the street. But don’t worry, none of my buildings has ever collapsed (telenovela famous last words:)). Pat wants nothing to do with any of this. Really? Arturo reponds. How long have you been in your little artisan business? Not long. Whereas look around you. I have an empire! Don’t you want to give that to your children, to your wife? Because Candy still happens to be your wife, he throws out, hitting Pat like a thunderbolt.

The ambulance has arrived, Charly is strapped onto a stretcher. Santi and Candy will ride in the ambulance, I think Meño will drive separately, Gregoria will watch Chava, the police will take Santi’s car into custody.

Pat can’t believe all Arturo’s money came from risking people’s lives. Arturo (still drinking) reminds Pat that he grew up in luxury. He never asked where any of the money came from. Pat informs Art that Art got all this money for himself, not for Pat, and Pat would have traded all the money for the love of a father. He would gladly have preferred his Dad taking him to play fútbol, or to a bullfight, rather than have any of that money. He would glady have traded the money for a Dad who would help him blow out the candles on his birthday cake. Arturo thinks these are nice words, but he insists he did everything for Pat. Pat knows it’s not true. Arturo did it all for himself, for his lovers, for his macho pride. And look at him now, drinking to anesthetize himself. Arturo warns Pat to respect him. Pat walks out, telling his father just keep on drinking. Which he does.

In the ambulance, Santi explains he was driving to Candy’s house to see her, he came around the corner, may have been a little distracted, didn’t see Charly until it was too late. Candy reassures him, as Charly moans a little, his head immobilized to protect against neck injury. Doctor Santi asks if Charly knows who he is, and who Candy is, and since Charly does, that’s a good sign. Although Charly can’t remember what happened, he’s conscious, nothing is broken, they’ll be at the hospital in 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, I guess to remind us that things are NOT okay, we see Isabel sitting in her robe at Jaime’s house, looking wistful. She thinks about Rocío, Lucía, Santiago. Jaime comes in, what’s wrong? She asks what he hears. Nothing. Well, that’s the problem. She misses the shouts of Santiago, the smell of the kitchen, all the excitement at her old house. Jaime comforts her, saying she’ll get used to the sounds and smells of this house. Yes, maybe, she answers, but would he be mad if she asked him for something? Whatever you want, my love, says Jaime, clasping her hands. A divorce, she answers, as he lets go of her hands, and looks at her with a mixture of mild shock, but maybe some amusement (hopefully he’ll change her mind).

At the hospital, Meño has arrived at the same time as Candy, Santi and Charly. As Santi goes with Charly on the stretcher, Meño admits to Candy that he hasn’t done this in a long time, but he prayed the whole way to the hospital. Candy hugs him as he says that if Charly dies, he’ll die. Fortunately, the doctor comes out, and Charly is fine, no broken bones, no brain damage, they just have to keep him overnight for observation. Santi explains that Charly’s blank about the accident is normal, it’s a defense mechanism against trauma. Meño wants to stay with Charly, and Candy says she’ll stay too. This prompts Santi to volunteer as well (since he wants to be with Candy). But Meño gets rid of them, knowing Santi wants to talk to Candy.

Santi runs out after Candy, who was going to take a taxi. He wants to walk and talk (and I think he knows yet another magic place to show her). She thinks he’ll never give up, he’s so stubborn. No, he just wants to talk, he won’t try to convince her of anything. Besides, this is their farewell night.

Meño is talking to a sleeping Charly. He feels guilty. He remembers when Charly was born, he held him in his arms, and promised never, never would he let Charly be cold, hungry or afraid, because Meño would always be with him. Please forgive me, he says emotionally to his sleeping son. I failed you. I didn’t fulfill my promise.

Yes, Santi has brought Candy to another magical place, a pretty park, with picturesque trees, as they talk under the moonlight. He tells Candy he will always love her. He wants to sleep with her, wake up with her, bring her breakfast in bed every day, and he wants a home, a home with Chava, Lucía, Rocío, and the two of them, a family, and he wants to love her for his entire life. Thank you, says Candy. For what? Candy explains that she has wanted something like that her whole life too, and she thought the only place one’s soul could be cured was at the Institute, but now Santi has just put a little bandaid on her heart. She thought she would have to bring up Chava alone, but now she realizes that if she wants, if she needs someone in her life…Santi now says thank you, and Candy asks why. For talking with honesty, and from the heart. Santi also has had problems, raising Rocío alone, and Lucía, and caring for his mother, and he never had a woman at his side. They sit down in front of a huge double oak tree, as Santi tells Candy that she is the love of his life, his only love. Is he the love of her life? Does she have to answer right now? Well, at least before dawn, says Santi. Candy feels a bit cold, and Santiago gently wraps his arms around her.

Night turns to day, and our lovers have fallen asleep, sitting in front of the large tree. A drop of fresh dew falls on Santi’s cheek, and he wakes up smiling. He whispers her name, and she awakes. He dreamed she was his. He asks why people say farewell at night. Does the night hurt less? The day is much harder. But you never answered my question. She says it’s time to leave, and they stand up. She says she’ll always be there when he needs her. She wants his heart to be happy, and for him to have a good life. They hug deeply, then break apart, holding hands, staring into each others’ eyes, tranquil at last. As she walks away, she turns back, and says, “and the question you asked me? The answer is yes.”

(I just have to say this was the most beautiful scene in this telenovela so far for me, and it brought tears to my eyes, both when I watched it live, and again doing the recap).

Of course, we’re not done yet. Pat is back at his own office, and puts the envelope with Arturo’s incriminating papers in his safe, just as Alicia breezes in. She wonders what the papers are, and he tells her they have to do with his father, but don’t ask further. She’s fine with that, how about they talk a bath together, as she rubs up against him. No, he’s going to play fútbol with his sons. She still wants him to bathe her, or maybe she’ll go with him to the game? Nope, you don’t like fútbol, bye, enjoy your day, as he walks out. She looks at the safe and makes a face.

Santiago is having a tea for breakfast, as Donato says he looks a little tired. No, he’s fine, today is an easy day at the office, only one surgery, an ear job, and everything is great (estoy a todo dar). Besides, last night was one of the best nights of his life. So, Donato queries, you were thinking about last night? Not really, says Santiago, and he starts talking about how he’s wanted a son for a long time. Of course, this is our telenovela cue for trouble, as Rocío has come downstairs, hears this, and listens in behind the door. Santi tells Donato how he’s wanted to teach a son how to play fútbol, how to head the ball, etc., as we see a concerned Rocío.

And in Candy’s office, Patricio and Chava have come to visit, and they’re both wearing Americas’ jerseys! They jump up and down, as she remarks he can’t wear that shirt, it’s a filthy thing (me da roña), and she whips it off of Chava, gets out the kids’ Chivas jersey she just happens to have behind her desk and quickly puts it on him, reminding him and Pat that Chava is a Chiva just like his Mom. Well he has some eagle (Americas) blood in him, too, says Pat. Candy tells Pat he can make Beto an eagle, but not her Chava. Pat then says the real reason he came is to invite the two of them to the big stadium, because the Americas are playing Chivas. Really? Yes, says Pat, just the three of us, like a family.

Next time: More rivalry, Candy vs. Marissa for Santi, Santi vs. Pat for Candy.

Vocabulario:

Eso estuve medio chafa – That was half shoddy. Probably used better in the negative, eso no estuve medio chafa – that was not half bad. Also means not authentic, see comments for more explanation.
Escuincle – a kid, maybe a brat
Estoy a todo dar – everything is great
Me da roña – That’s disgusting (it gives me filth, or scabies!)

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Fuego en la Sangre, 02/20/09: Triple Boda Bliss


El Por Fin ¡Por Fin! (Parte 2)

[Fernando Escandon, the residents of Cd. Serdán who knew you best may not miss you and Gabi, but certainly the undertaker, the florist, Dr. Mendez (especially his drug reps), and the local Chamber of Commerce definitely will, because you’ve made them all very, very happy with the additional business you’ve thrown their way these past few months. However, as all things, both good and bad, must come to their appointed end, so have the two of you. Boo-hoo. You’re through. Adios. Adieu. ~~]

We begin at the end, the end of the three pair of lovers enjoying the afterglow of celabratory SEX now that the Twosome of Terror, Cruella Gabriela and Felonious Fer, have supposedly both met their befittingly horrific ends.

The next morning the whole gang, including Ofelia and Margarita who’ve come back for the big bash, are at the Bat Cave to celebrate El Dia de los Muertos (The Day of the Dead). --I guess that means that Fer actually offed himself, appropriately enough, the day before on Halloween.-- Pablito’s abuela, Bernie, Rosario, Libia, JuanJo and Maria Libia, are all fondly remembered. All sorts of traditional foods are left per the custom. (So the ants and the wild animals get to party hearty once the humans have their say and split. What I wanna know is who really gets to drink that bottle of reservado tequila Tío Vincente just left for Juanjo?) Padre Tadeo officiates and Libia’s Lily lights up with mucho appreciation.

At the same time, the one-eyed grave-digger returns to the ghoul-shed at the cemetery and finds Feo’s forgotten bag of booty with the stolen sacristy goodies, while the mini-light on that coffin-cam lets Viewerville peek inside the otherwise pitch black casket to see that Gabi is still 6 foot under, still alive, and still screaming in terror for Fernando. (How many days and nights has it been already? Three or two? That b!tch is as stubborn as the day is long, but no way even she should last that amount of time without air.) Another night falls and another full moon rises. The grave digger finally shows up the next morning and starts digging the coffin up to steal the money Fer told him was buried inside it.

Meanwhile, across town the Reyes’s hold a rodeo and riding competition to benefit the local orphanage. The three Elizondo sisters are wearing their Petticoat Junction best. Eva’s sitting there next to Sofia and it looks like she’s been to Puebla City for a much needed coif and ‘cure. Juan, Franco, and Oscar entertain the crowd with their singing (which has miraculously much improved since that fiasco of a serenade a few weeks ago. Viewerville accordingly sends its best to the A-team in sound production who finally got back from vacation.) Even Capricho, who obviously knows that he’s been the real headliner in this horse sh!t show, busts a move and prances for the cheering crowd. (Take a bow, big boy. Take. A. Bow! You’re one handsome hunk o’ horseflesh and the only thing worth an instant replay today.) The singing eventually ends and the competition begins.

Juan comes over to play kissy-face with Sofia a few times and the camera goes into slow-mo as a mysterious hand secretly aims a rifle at the two of them and waits to take its best shot.

Tío V.O. sings for the crowd a bit later and the crowd goes wild again, especially Maria Esperanza. (Don’t overdo it, Essie. At your age you might pull something.) Again the mysterious hand takes aim at Juan and Sofia, but doesn’t shoot.

The announcer tells the crowd that the Reyes’s made a special cash donation to Padre Tadeo’s orphanage and they all applaud.

Finally comes the “Pass of Death” competition and Juan appears in the ring. Just as Juan is about to jump onto the second horse to make “the pass” a shot rings out. Juan falls from his horse and for a minute or two nobody can tell if he’s been hit or not. The shot missed him but apparently the loud noise of the shot surprised him. Anyway, Juan tells the crowd he’s fine and the fun will continue. He gets back on his horse and tries the trick again and, of course, wins the competition. (Come on. Did we actually think he wouldn’t?)

Sofia hands over the donation to Padre Tadeo who thanks them for their charitable gift and lectures us all that there is nothing more important in life than a child. Everyone cheers again. (Oh! There’s Hortensia in the crowd, smiling. Hmm. Maybe if she’s lucky next Mother’s Day, Rigo and his brother will go in on a little cosmetic dentistry for Horty, maybe pay for a veneer for that hideous tooth of hers.) All of a sudden, the town’s favorite top cop, our dear Comisario Muttonchops, runs over to Juan and Sofia and tells them it was the grave digger who shot at Juan earlier, but he’s been caught now and is behind bars. Juan says then on with the party and the crowd cheers again. All the little children there (all dressed in cute little charro outfits) get balls and other toys for gifts.

Night falls and the full moon rises on Cd. Serdán again. The grave-digger apparently gave up and decided it would be more fun to take pot-shots at Juan, cuz Gabi's still in there and this is the night that she finally gasps her last. Whether it was the ol' bum ticker or suffocation that got her, it’s not quite clear; but we see her mouth and eyes are open in a gruesome death mask at the end. In both her eyes is Feo’s smiling reflection, as if he might just have come back for her after all. Boo-wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!

The town celebrates that night after the rodeo competition with a charity bazaar. Everyone dances to the beat of the magically musical refrains of Margarita (the Goddess of the Cumbia who is back from... wherever). At the end of the night there are fireworks displays ablaze with each of the couples’ names. (What better reason for another kiss?) Fireworks continue to go off, muy symbolic of the lovers’ feelings for each other.

The next morning is the triple boda. Juan and the boys are getting ready. We don’t get a shower scene, but we do get the next best thing: bare torsos with towels wrapped around otherwise bared buttocks as Quintina helps Juan and the others get dressed for their big day. In between questions and complaints they stop to tell her how much they love her and that she’s been like a mother to them. They thank her for all the support that she has offered them, especially as their “paño de lagrimas” (crying towel). She's going to miss them once they've gotten married. Guess she's movin' in with Rigo and Horty. (Anybody stop to wonder who's taking over the Hacienda de Horrores and who's got dibs on the Double R? And BTW, who's gonna get the short straw and where are they going to live?)

Meanwhile, Sofia and her sisters are waiting down at the end of the drive of the hacienda for some mysterious somebody that Eva says was looking for them. Suddenly they hear Grampa Augie’s voice and are thrilled to see him there for the wedding. (Santi doesn’t show up, though.) He tells them Rosendo filled him in on what had happened there after he left. Through his tears Augie says it was a shame that Gabi had to die the way she did, but that he warned her Fernando would be the ruination of her. She just would not listen. Suddenly Sofia feels a bit awkward and leaves the group. Augie tells her he knows she must feel strange now because they’re not blood relatives. He tells her it doesn’t matter to him one bit and doesn’t change a thing. They all share another group hug. Ah yes. The family’s complete now that he’s come back for the wedding. (Viwerville dabs its eyes.)

Later that day the Reyes’s make their way to the church on their valiant and beautiful steeds to await their brides’ arrival. The brides make their arrival in individual carriages at the Temple of God (Cholula on the Pyramid), the big beautiful church on the crest of the hill above where the rodeo was held. They get out at the entrance to the church. Rodeo riders are lined up in costumes while kids do rope tricks with their lariats. (Is that Sarita with all that exposed cleavage this time? Truly a plunging neckline Root and Rosario would be envious of.) They walk in on the arms of their grooms. (Looks like Sofia has the most beautiful dress, full of sparklies and of course, the longest train. Sort of reminds me of a giant white caterpillar crawling behind her. Juan’s got his shirt unbuttoned like the slob he is, while his brothers are dressed to the nines in their best white charros. Oh well, with a build like that, he’s allowed.) The three couples arrive together at the altar. The whole town is there with the exception of Uncle El Jefe, who’s apparently still doin’ time, and Pedro.

Padre Tadeo officiates the marriage mass. (Ah, ok. Juan finally had the sense to button up and look respectable. Lordy, he does clean up nice, though!) FF>> When Pad Tad finishes and they’ve all said their vows, the happy couples kiss. Everyone makes their way outside to celebrate their wedding in one hell of a big boda bash. Pad Tad smiles and gives them his blessing and then thinks to himself that “as always, love triumphs.”

Bobby Pulido and his band are there to entertain along with the Margarita. There’s dancin’ and romancin’ for one and all.

When the new brides hurl their bouquets, Maria Esperanza and Quintina both catch one.

Juan and his brothers each serenade their brides. (EY must have been practicing long and hard because this time he stays on key and actually pulls it off. Thank gawd for small favors and a decent audio tech.) As the afternoon sun begins to set, each couple demonstrates their abiding love with tender, impassioned kisses.

In the end only Juan and Sofia remain. They are locked in each other’s arms and in a kiss that seems destined to last as long as this damned novela has.

El FIN ¡POR FIN!

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Friday, February 20, 2009

Doña Bárbara - Thurs., Feb. 19 - DB declares war and Marisela changes her mind about the hacienda

DB reacts badly to the verdict. She screams that Marisela can't win anything. She slaps her lawyer when he tells her to sit down. She accuses Santos of buying the verdict. The judge orders the guards to arrest DB. She screams at guards not to touch her, that no one touches Doña Bárbara. The guards start to drag her out. Melquíades goes to her assistance and is knocked out by a guard. The guards finally succeed in dragging DB out while the people in courtroom sit stunned.

In the hall, DB, still being held by the guards, says that Santos must be happy that he has killed three birds with one stone: he has her hacienda; he can get it on with Marisela and now he has gotten rid of her as well. Santos asks her to calm down but she curses him and Marisela as she is led off to jail.

A guard wakes Melquíades up. He asks what they did with his Doña. The guard says that she might be detained for some time. He staggers off and Fausto slinks in. Fausto offers the guard a wad of money and asks for a copy of the book that all the witnesses signed. While he is waiting, he spots the volume of Danger's diary that Andrés carelessly left on the plaintiff's table. He puts it into his bag.

DB fiercely resists being locked up but eventually the guards get her into a cell. She says that the guards will pay for what they have done. She calls for Melquíades, for Eustaquia for Balbino but they aren't there. Then softly she calls for Santos, her Santos and starts to cry.

Marisela says that is was terrifying to see DB that way. She never thought the litigation over the hacienda would end that way. Santos says that he doesn't have any words for what happened. He tells Andrés to get Danger's diary while he puts their stuff in the car. Santos tells Marisela not to be so upset. She couldn't do anything for DB. These are the consequences of her actions. She will return as the legitimate owner of La Barquereña and it will never be called El Miedo again. Marisela says nothing.

Fausto tells El Sapo that he got the Danger's diary back. El Sapo approves. He says that he may need it in the future. He asks if Fausto got what he wanted. Fausto says that he got a copy of Santos Luzardo's signature. El Sapo says that he will get an artist to reproduce the signature. Having Santos' signature will be very useful.

In the restaurant, Santos and Marisela sit silently each with different flashbacks. Santos flashes back to DB destroying the fence and fighting with the guards in court. Meanwhile Marisela is flashing back to DB trying to save her when Meléndez was going to rape her. They are interrupted by Andrés who tells them that apparently someone stole the diary of the gringo.

Melquíades burst into the office of DB's lawyer and tells him that he is going to get her out of jail right this minute. The lawyer says that he can't. Someone has to pay her bail. Melquíades tells him to pay it and DB will reimburse him. If he doesn't, Melquíades will kill him.

Pajarote and María Nieves bring Bartolo to see the terneras. MN tells Bartolo that they want him to talk. Talking is his great talent. MN tells Bartolo to talk to Altagracia all day long. Altagracia gives MN the look. At that moment, Carmelito bursts in to say that Marisela won the case and is back in town. There will be a party at Altamira.

DB gets let out of jail. She gives her lawyer the look. He says that thank to his efforts, she is free. DB says that he is a disaster, a good for nothing. She says that it is his fault that she lost the case. The lawyer says that DB will pay for hitting him in public and she will pay with interest the sum that he paid as her bail. DB says that he is a bigger fool than she thought. She isn't going to waste her time with him.

Marisela wants to go to Cecilia's house in Progresso but Santos says that Cecilia and everyone else is at Altamira to celebrate her victory. Cecilia offers a toast to Andrés and tells Marisela that Lorenzo must be very content in heaven right now. She congratulates Marisela. Marisela says that she has nothing to say. "I have nothing to celebrate," says Marisela, "DB has just had her home taken away. Should I be happy? No, I'm not happy."

DB comes to see the judge. "How much were you paid to make that decision?" asks DB. The judge tells her to leave immediately if she doesn't want to go back to jail. DB says that she won't do anything to him. She just wants to know who paid him. She asks if it was Santos or Marisela. She says that she won't tell anyone and will give more money than Santos did. At that moment, a guard comes in and says that the lawyers for the next case are waiting. The judge makes his escape. DB tells Melquíades that she is sure that the judge was bought but she doesn't know by whom.

El Sapo is reading Danger's diary. He says that DB is dangerous. She would rot in jail for the rest of her life for half the things that are described in the diary. Fausto agrees. He says that he is in danger and may not be of much use to El Sapo in Progresso anymore. DB suspects him and may end up killing him. El Sapo asks if Fausto is afraid. Fausto says that with what DB knows about him, he has reason to be afraid. She has threatened him. El Sapo tells him not to worry. He will get someone else to divert all the suspicion that DB has about him. Fausto says that is good but who will he get? El Sapo says that he has a candidate.

Cut to Pernalete [One would assume that the next scene would indicate who the person El Sapo has in mind is but Pernalete?] As translated by Federica, Pernalete complains that his life has no dignity and he wants to die. Then he insults his daughter and Josefa. Josefa angrily replies that she and Federica are earning more in their line of work that he did as police chief. She tells him to relax and enjoy life.

Still in San Fernando, DB says that no one will take El Miedo away from her.

Santos comes to see Marisela. He says that everyone has come to celebrate. Marisela replies that she doesn't want to celebrate. She has fulfilled her father's last wishes but they weren't her wishes. Santos says that she has recovered the land of her father and grandfather. That is very important. Marisela says that it isn't important to her. She has been very unhappy because of that land. Santos replies that it wasn't the land; it was her, it was DB that made Marisela suffer. Santos tells Marisela that there is oil at La Chusmita and probably in their other lands. She can't give that up. She asks why he didn't tell her before. He said that there was a lot going on and he didn't get around to it. But he is telling her now. She is going to be very rich. "You too, right?" asks Marisela. Santos replies that he is worried about the oil. She might not believe it but he doesn't like it. If the oil deposits are exploited, this place will never be the same and he likes his land the way it is: green, fertile and clean. "Don't you like it this way?" he asks.

Antonio comes to the party to congratulate Marisela but Cecilia tells him that Marisela needs to be alone now. Cecilia asks about Lucía and Antonio says that she is fine. Antonio says to Cecilia that he feels very guilty.

Santos tells Marisela that if the oilfield is developed, all this would disappear. He is sure that DB wanted to exploit the oil deposit. He says that all the haciendas would disappear, one by one and be replaced by a lot of people and trucks. Nothing would remain of what their ancestors built. He asks if she understands the importance of what would happen. He asks if she is interested in what he is saying. Marisela says that she wants to be alone. She doesn't want him to bother or confuse her anymore.

María Nieves comes into the kitchen where Altagracia is about to start washing the dishes. He congratulates her on the fantastic fiancé she has won. "Everyone speaks well of him," says MN. Altagracia says that she is sure he is happy that she is marrying someone else. MN grabs Altagracia and and says that he will be happy when Bartolo holds Altagracia like this and kisses her like this. "Make the most of it," says MN and walks away.

Santos tells Antonio that he doesn't know what to say to him about his situation. Antonio says that the worst thing is that there isn't anything he can do except pray that nothing happens to his wife and child. "You love Lucía, right?" asks Santos. "It's difficult not to like her, Santos ," replies Antonio, "She is good and caring. She adores Toñito. She adores me. I will do everything possible to support her, to make her happy but love continues to be embedded in my heart." "Cecilia" says Santos. "Yes, Cecilia, always Cecilia," replies Antonio. Antonio offers a toast to the love that never dies.

DB has returned to El Miedo and she is as mad as a wet cat. Eustaquia asks what happened. DB says that Marisela won the case but she swears that she will never give up El Miedo. She says that the old DB is back. She tells Juan Primito to put food out for the rebullones. JP tells her that they died a long time ago. She tells him to revive them because this hacienda will return to the way it was before. This is the hacienda of fear.

Santos tells Antonio that Marisela doesn't want to love him because he lived with her mother for almost a year. She thinks that what he feels for her is a small reflection of what he felt for her mother. Antonio asks if that isn't true. Santos says no. Living with DB was a hell that he doesn't recommend to anyone. She was consuming him like she did with Lorenzo. He says that DB had a lot of traumas and hidden demons. Antonio asks if Santos doesn't love Marisela because she resembles her mother. Santos say no. Marsiela has some of DB's explosive temper and a few of her gestures are the same but in fundamentals, they are very different. Marisela is transparent, incapable of resentment. He isn't saying that sometimes he would like to strangle her for being so stubborn but he knows that he could live with her the rest of his life.

At this point Marisela comes up and says that she has thought about it and decided that she doesn't want El Miedo. She wants to return it to DB. Santos asks if she is crazy. They just spent a whole month fighting to get back what belongs to her, to fufill her father's wishes. Marisela says that the problem - it was her father's wish. She has never dreamed about the hacienda, the money, the cattle and not even the oil that has appeared. Antonio asks about the oil and Santos explains that oil has been found at La Chusmita. Marisela says that DB is suffering and she has caused it. "Santos," she says, "What's going on with you? Doesn't it hurt you to see DB like that?"

DB is telling herself that she will get revenge on everyone when she hears Lorenzo's voice saying that he is here to torment her day and night to get his revenge. Melquíades has armed DB's guys. DB tells BP that he has to decide whose side he is on. Melquíades tells the vaqueros that they are watchmen. Now, the war has started for real.

DB tells Eustaquia that she has lost everything - her hacienda and her one true love, Santos. Now Santos is her worse enemy. Eustaquia tells her not to talk that way. She should take time to think. DB says that there isn't anything to think about. Santos has left her for her daughter and now he has taken her hacienda, her lands, everything. Eustaquia urges DB to leave and start again somewhere else. DB replies that she won't leave her hacienda. She will wait for Santos here. She gets her gun out and says that before she has to hand everything over, she will kill him and herself.

Santos tells Marsisela that DB doesn't deserve her compassion. She has enough money to buy two haciendas like El Miedo. Marisela repeats that DB has lost everything - her hacienda and... Santos finishes her sentence by saying that she feels guilty because she is a sort of consolation prize for Santos after he left DB. Marisela denies that she is any kind of a prize and says that she hates Santos when he is so proud and insupportable. She turns to leave but Santos says that she has to stay until she understands that she has the right to claim what by law belongs to her - La Barquereña and his love. At this point Antonio leaves.

Pajarote tries to get Genoveva drunk again. She takes a glass but throws the contents on him and yells at him.

Marisela asks why Santos says that she has a right to his love. Santos starts to speak but Marisela interrupts and says that her final word is that she has the the right to give the hacienda to whomever she pleases.

Santos tells Antonio and Cecilia that Marisela has gone crazy. JP comes running up to report that DB has returned to El Miedo in a foul temper and is saying horrible things that have made JP run away. Santos leaves to prevent DB from doing something stupid.

Marisela interrupts Cecilia's prayers to ask where Santos went. Without Cecilia having to answer, Marisela figures out that he went to El Miedo.

DB, now dressed all in black, passes out cartidge boxes to her employees. She tells them to be vigilent. The war has started and she won't be taken from El Miedo alive.

BP starts to walk away and Melquíades jumps him with a knife asking where he is going. BP says that he is just to pee.

Marisela gets into the truck and says to herself that Santos thinks he can make decisions for her but he will find out who the real Marisela Barquero is.

Meanwhile Santos is sadddling his horse and saying to himself how stubborn and foolish Marisela is to reject the hacienda they just put so much effort into getting.

Fausto delivers an invitation for Pernalete to attend a gala party in San Fernando recognizing all he has done for Progresso. Both Josefa and Federica ask to accompany him and Fausto says that they both can go.

El Sapo tells the judge that Marisela needs a lot of help to recover what his hers. El Sapo says that he wants to send DB an eviction order requested by Santos. When the judge says that Santos hasn't requested any such order, El Sapo shows him a request signed by Santos and now we know why El Sapo wanted Santos' signature.

Santos rides to El Miedo. DB appears, shoots her gun into the air and asks what he is doing there. Santos says that they have to talk. DB points her gun at Santos and says that she doesn't have anything to to say to him. At this moment, Marisela is arriving in the pickup. DB fires and hits Santos who falls off his horse. Marisela jumps out the truck yelling Santos' name and saying the DB has killed Santos.

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Las Tontas - Thursday 2/19 - Chava's got two grannies and it's Abi a Gogo

From last night: There is a hubbub in the restaurant and slap-fest in the kitchen. Lulu thinks Eduardo is Don Juan Tenorio but Chayo's not impressed and gives him a purse whack. If he gets to see women when he wants then she can see guys when she wants!

It's the wedding day and everyone is present and dressed to the nines. The Abandonados are drinking, Jaime is nervous and it looks like his son (and a pal) showed up after all. The bride is lovely and her son his hot hot hot. Bigger-than-life size cut-outs of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band silently observe the festivities.

Hola mi amorrrrr! Alicia surprises Pato at the office. She shows him a necklace she'd like to have. "Yes, my little lice, whatever you want" he sighs. She bounds out of the office like a fiendish energizer bunny and he puts his face in his hands.

The rickety dude who's performing the wedding says the union is much more serious than what's on paper. They're going to celebrate a natural union, a zoological union (Que??? chimes the crowd), an animal union where the panther of the suburbs is marrying the dinosaur of Coyoacán. (Que?? chimes the recapper.) He sprinkles them with a wet flower and pronounces them marido y mujer.

Marissa pulls Candy and Santi aside to extract a promise from them, she wants them to forget each other for a bunch of good reasons. Santi wants to discuss it in private with Marissa but Candy pipes up "I promise!", so Santi promises too and they all three toast. Weird. When Mari goes to play with the kids Santi tells Candy he knows she had her fingers crossed.

The kids discuss grandparents and Chava wonders, if Beto's abuelo is Pat's dad then why isn't he Chava's abuelo too? Good question.

Rickety dude limps through the kitchen pretending to snoopervise but it's an excuse to drink all the booze, rub against Tina and stuff food in his pockets. Donato offers to pack him a lunch (itacate = packed lunch) but the dude prefers to cram his pockets and cheeks with food. Tina's pissed.

Santi tries to make a toast but rickety drunk dude gropes Isa and calles her his panther. He flashes the peace sign as Lalo leads our obligatory drunk wedding guest away.

Santi makes his toast and semi-graciously welcomes Jaime into the family.

Meanwhile Charly's new "friend" German heaves pebbles at Charly and lures him away from the crowd. He's got the goods and I think his plan is for Charly to buy the mota and then share the profits. Doesn't sound like the best plan to me. Good luck Charly.

Pato admits to his crabby mom that dad visited him for a couple of days and of course she thinks dad's got a lover. Whatever, she's here to visit Dr. Plastico and she heard Candy's alive. Pato confirms it and he manages to put a big smile on Crabby's face, she's got two grandsons!

The newlyweds kiss and celebrate and are ready to leave for their honeymoon. Isa is used to micro-managing the household and tries to give Santi detailed instructions on everything. She even thinks Marissa should stick around to help to see if she's up to running the household. Isa still doesn't think Mari's the one for Santi but it's too late for Candy.

Drunk rickety dude stumbles through their goodbyes, "make love not war, stop the war in Vietnam." I think I just figured out where Charly could get better drugs.

Santi tucks Lucia into bed VERY TIGHTLY. She has a question, has he ever (pretends to hold a joint and puffs)? He freaks until she assures him she's not smoking, but he knows how it is, right? This gives him the opportunity to give her a long PSA against drugs and peer pressure. Meanwhile Rocio's in a pipi holding pattern on the pot waiting for papa to provide the missing papel.

Charly meets German to receive the goods. He tells the guy he doesn't smoke pot he just wants to make some money, but before he knows it Charly's going to German's house to meet some girls and German's got some good s**t too.


Candy lolls around on her bed stuffing her face with popcorn and thinking she can't forget either Santi or Pato. Deja vu anyone? Mom in a flannel nightgown and cap joins her and has something to say that she's been wanting to share for some time now. She wants Candy to forgive her sister; Al is very unstable and will try to kill herself if Pato leaves her. I'm not sure what that has to do with Candy forgiving Al but Greg seems certain.

Several quick scenes at the Instituto, Candy's apple computer, Ceci wistfully watches Candy, Barb gets into an elevator and some guy, one of the Abandonados I think, joins her. He flirts but she cuts him short, she's been married twice, had lots of guys and he's not her type. Suddenly the elevator lurches and the lights go out. Barb freaks and the guy tries to calm her, somehow they both end up with flashlights. When the lights go back on her shirt is unbuttoned and his is off so he can fan her with it. "Thank you" she cries as she hugs him. The elevator doors open and Lulu gets an eyeful of Barb hugging the half naked guy. He hands Barb his card and quickly exits for his appointment with Dr. Plastico.

Lulu is impressed, she wants to be just like Barb. "What, claustrophobic?" asks Barb. "No, liberated" gushes Lulu as Barb quickly zips up her blouse.

Gregoria is mopping the floor at home when she receives a surprise guest, Pato's mom Margarita. Arturo told her everything (Greg gasps), that Candy is alive (Greg is relieved) and she has a grandkid. Margarita kisses Chava's photograph.

Isa calls Santi from her honeymoon to say she absolutely knows she is needed at home. I gather this isn't the first time she has called. Some honeymoon.

Charly and German talk about the best place for him to sell his mota, and that would be school of course. German comments how much the little blonde liked Charly, he used a condom, right? Because last year she got pregnant and it cost German some dough to get rid of the kid. Charly's impactado, she was his girlfriend? The friend keeps pressing, "were you careful, you were careful, right?" Charly reluctantly lies that he was. Oh dear.

Chava meets his new abuela and happily gives her a kiss and calls her Abi. Abi comments how much Chava looks like Arturo, he's got his eyes, doesn't he? Greg lies and says she hasn't seen Art's eyes. She needs a cup of tea.

Abi makes Chava sit on her lap and they discuss Soccer teams. Greg keeps pulling Chava away from abuela Abi and Abi pulls him away from abuela Gogo.

Santi is in consultation with his pal when a sobbing Hortensia tells him his novia called to summon him to the church so they can discuss the final details of their wedding, boo hoo. Santi's friend tries to console Horty by calling her baby baby baby and saying "Call me" in English. Then, in a sort of Spanglish he reminds Santi he doesn't love Marissa and it's a mistake to marry her.

Ceci fears that Candy is working too hard and Candy admits she's doing it to keep her mind off Santi. "You're anesthetizing yourself," Ceci observes.

Now we have a romantic Kany Garcia song (Hoy ya me voy amor) and some romantic flashbacks of Santi and Candy...he wipes dog crap in her hand, she wipes it on his face, they argue, they kiss, she cries, he consoles her, she tells him she's in love, Marissa announces she's very pregnant, Santi shows her the pendant. Back in the present she drops said pendant on the ground and vows she doesn't love him. Pato must have followed he because he picks it up a little later.

Meño waits for the elevator and Lulu joins him. She still wants to cure him even though he insists he's not sick. He escapes into the elevator not realizing he has just entered Lulu's most recent fantasy, love in the elevator a la Barb. Que barbara!

Candy's in the church praying again, she's confused and needs help getting Santi out of her head. She hears the wedding march play and Oh Crap she's in the same church where Santi and Mari are rehearsing! She quickly hides but Santi glimpses her. Mari hugs Santi as Candy and Santi gaze sadly at each other.

Charly's hangin with the homeys when Lucia strolls by. She loves him but she doesn't like him being around German and his bad business. Surprisingly she puts her foot down, if he sells drugs they're quits; she doesn't want to visit him in jail.

Instead of leaving the church Candy stands in her little corner praying loudly to the virgin, woman to woman.

Meño and Lulu burst out of the elevator. He tells her once and for all He Is Gay. Does she know what that is? She says it's a sickness, like alcoholism, and she's going to cure him. How many times are we going to beat this dead horse? Enough already!

Later on Lucia catches Charly flirting with her friends. "Charly!" she shrieks and boy howdy does he jump. One girl Daniela butts in, they're only buying a little pot, silly. This sets Lucia off, she says the silly people use drugs, the smart ones say no. She screams at Charly not to touch her, not to call her, he's dead to her!

Isa sneaks around her honeymoon hotel room with the phone. Jaimes sneaks behind her holding something. She doesn't see him so she tries to call home. Aha! Guess who's holding the unplugged phone? He scolds her for calling 17 times in the morning and 11 times after breakfast. OK fine, call home if you want to! And she does. At this rate they're going to beat Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney's short wedding record.

Lalo and Raul are practicing their hip moves again and frankly they are hilarious. Their ties are especially fetching.

Chayo tells her gal pals that Eduardo has promised to never see his girlfriend again. Ever. Candy advises her not to make up with him until she's sure. The telephone rings. Whoever do we suppose it is? Chayo's face falls, "You're a cynic!" she blurts into the phone. It was Eduardo's lover and she told Chayo to prepare herself because Eduardo is going to divorce Chayo and marry her. Candy does an about-face and advises Chayo that it could be a trick. "And what if it's not?" asks Chayo.

Lucia visits Meño at the restaurant. She needs to talk, she's not a gossip or a traitor but she's worried about Charly and Meño should know that Charly's bad. He wants to buy that damn moto so he's selling mota.

Tomorrow: Candy tells Santiago goodbye and they both cry. Lulu warns Candy to watch out for Marissa.

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Fuego, Feb 18 redux ("Here, Just Drink This.") AND Feb 19, in which the evil lovebirds gasp their last.

Uh-oh, folks - I'm posting this for Melissa, who sent it to me adding: Sorry if this is short, I’m getting ready to leave for Mexico City in the morning. Not sure what are the previews -- I watched on You Tube. However, she recapped the wrong episode by accident I got home for the last ten minutes - I'll put what I saw at the end of this recap...

I've moved a seat-of-the-pants recap Ibarramedia kindly left us in the comments) to the bottom of this post. Thanks, Ibarramedia!

Feo is hiding in front of the Doble E, but starts shooting and Juan and Oscar. Rosendo breaks down the door of the cabana, and the Doc, Rosendo and the three sisters find Gabriela lying on the floor in front of the coffin with her eyes open – they think she’s dead. The girls are screaming and crying for their Mamita, who hated. The shoot-out at the Not-So-OK Corral continues. Feo has a gun with never-ending bullets – the boys use rifles. Rosendo tells the boys the vieja (old lady) is dead.

Sarita and Jimena are inconsolable, Sofia tells Gabriela Acevedo to rest in peace. Sarita starts blaming the three of them for killing their mother. More crying.

Feo shoots a few more bullets then starts running down the path – Juan and Capricho run after him.

In the kitchen at the Doble R, Eva is catching Horty, Quinto and Eugenia up on how Sofia knows that she’s her mother. Fatima comes running in crying, and tells them Crabs is dead. Fatima was treated so poorly, could they be tears of joy?

The three couples are in the office at the Doble E (minus the 2 E’s). The boys still want justice for Feo. The girls say that Crabs lost her mind at the end. Sarita tells them that Fatima told her that Crabs left the big house with suitcases, but didn’t take any of her personal things. Sarita wonders out loud, what could possibly be in those suitcases? It’s so mysterious and weird. Jimena says it’s almost like Gabs planned her own death.

Out on the road, Feo attacks some random guy and takes off on his horse; translation: Mexican carjacking.

Eva shows up to console the girls – more crying. Eva tells the girls she loves them and that all three of them are her daughters. Doc Too Little Too Late comes in and says Sofia found a letter inside the coffin. Franco pulls Oscar aside and says he’s worried about Juan, out there alone chasing Feo.

Back at the Barranca of Libia’s death, Feo calls out for Juan, but when Juan sees him Feo pulls a gun on him. Feo says isn’t it curious how they’ve met up in Libia’s favorite place, the exact place where he killed Libia? Juan goes after him, but Feo shoots him in the arm. Feo kicks Juan and tells him how he’s killed everyone that’s ever gotten in his way. He tells Juan to prepare to die, and holds the pistol to Juan’s head – he pulls the trigger and nothing! No more bullets! The fight is on! Punching, choking, etc. Juan finally gets the better of Feo and like a crazy man holds Feo’s head under the water repeatedly until he thinks Feo is dead. Mighty Joe Juan Screams like a wounded animal! Libia! Libia! Out of nowhere Feo’s one-eyed helper shows up and hits Juan over the head – Juan falls unconscious. The guy helps Feo out of the water, Feo loves his new BFF for saving him. Feo picks up a shovel and brings it high over his head to finally deliver one last blow to kill Juan. The trumpets blare! Do doo dooooo! Officer Mutton Chops has arrived!!! He shoots at Feo but the bullet ricochets off the scoop of the shovel! Feo turns and sees the all the men, including Oscar, with their guns pointed at them – he says they’ll never find him and runs off into the night. Why didn’t they just shoot him????

Sofia starts reading the letter containing Gabi’s last wishes. Gabi wants no wake, and wants to be buried this very same night in the cemetery in the pueblo. She doesn’t want any changes to anything. It has to be just the way she’s written. The all agree to comply with her wishes, including Pad Tad. Jimena and Sarita are still crying.

Oscar, Juan and Mutton Chops come into the kitchen. They tell Franco that Feo got away, Juan has a superficial bullet wound, but his head hurts (Oh that Juan, he must’ve been thinking again!) Mutton Chops says all roads are being watched.

Feo’s changing into some spiffy new Mariachi duds that One-Eyed BFF has brought him. Feo tells him that if the damn gun hadn’t run out of bullets everything would have been different. BFF hands him a new coat and tells him if he hadn’t shown up in time Feo would have been dead. He also gives Feo a new gun with lots of extra ammo. Feo is so happy with his BFF I think he might want to kiss him. Feo tells him he’ll be very well compensated, but he has one more thing to take care of – Gabriela Acevedo’s last wishes.

We’re at the funeral in the church. Eva thinks to herself she’s forgiven Gabriela even though Gabi never forgave her, and hopes that G-d forgives Gabriela also. The girls continue to cry. Juan shows up and stands over the coffin. He says he and Gabi always hated each other, but once he and his brothers met her daughters they forgot about vengeance, but they still hated Gabriela more and more each day. He says she was responsible for the deaths of his parents and sister, Gabi never loved anyone, not even her daughters and that’s why she died alone and despised by everyone. He tells her he doesn’t hope she rests in peace, he says he’ll leave it up to G-d to give her what she deserves.

At the cemetery the black crow caws. They lower the coffin into the ground. Sarita and Jimena continue to cry. Feo watches from afar. They each throw a handful of dirt onto the coffin. Pad thinks to himself how Gabriela went without reconciling with G-d or her daughters. He asks G-d to forgive him for not being able to help Crabs. Feo’s BFF and the black crow watch from afar also. Pad prays.

Daybreak in Ciduad Serdan, and Sofia and Eva are walking through the Hacienda Minus Doble E. Sofia says she wants to go see her daughters, but Eva tells her there’s no rush, they’re well taken care of. By now the nuns are probably thinking they should’ve just gotten married and had sex if they were going to get stuck taking care of three rugrats all the time anyway! Sofia tells Eva she doesn’t ever want to be separated from Eva again. Ruh Roh. This is a bad sign. They get in the black SUV and Rosendo is taking them to the Hacienda Doble R, but there’s some sheep in the way. Rosendo gets out of the truck to shoo away the sheep when Feo comes up with a gun and konks Rosendo over the head, knocking him out. Feo comes over to the SUV with his gun and pulls Slofia and Eva out of the truck. Stupidfia, who should’ve locked the doors and jumped into the driver’s seat, offers Feo her bag, if it’s the money he wants. He says he doesn’t want her stupid money, he wants her! Eva says, “Yeah, over my dead body!” and Feo says, “Oh yeah!” and he shoots Eva in what looks like her heart, but she’s still alive. Sofia is holding her while Feo watches. Feo grabs Slofia and she tries to pull away but Feo konks her over the head and knocks her out also, while Eva screams don’t take her. Cut to Telepathic Juan, who tells Capricho that Sofia is in danger. Rosendo finally wakes up and rushes to Eva, she tells him what happened. Juan rides up, finds out what happened, and rides off to chase down the SUV. Capricho is going for the Triple Crown.

Feo is putting Sofia in the back of a wagon covered in black cloth. Juan continues the chase. Feo has taken Sofia to his little hideaway and she wakes up and remembers what happened. Feo restrains her. He tells her she’ll never see her mother again, she’s dead.

Cut to Eva in the dispensario. Rosendo says it’s all his fault. Doc says they’ll try to save her. Pad asks the statue of Jesus when will Feo stop hurting people, when?

Feo tells Sofia that everything is her fault. If she hadn’t despised him, none of this would have happened. He says he loved her. She says he doesn’t know how to love, only to hurt. She says she never felt anything for him, this really pisses him off. He says he knows how to love, and tonight he’s going to show her. She says no way, Juan will come and save her before that. Feo says Juan will never come between them again. – he tries to kiss her. Yuck.

Back in the Doble R kitchen, Juan is frustrated because he can’t find Sofia. Everyone gives him a pep talk and out the door they go again to search. Quinti is going to go and pray. Juan tells them about Eva.

Sarita and Jimena have come to see Eva. They tell her they need her, especially now. She has to be strong and recover.

Nightime. The Coffin Cam shows Crabs still resting peacefully, hands folded across her chest.

So anyway - I turned on the tv about 9:50 and saw:

  • Juan had Fern (who had a very white bristly stubble all over his face) cornered under a tree and he aimed his gun at him, but Fern shot himself. Juan shot in the air many times in frustration. His brothers came. They discussed that fact that Fern was, yes, say it in unison, "bien muerto."
  • Gabriela woke up in her coffin. She did not beat on the lid as I hoped, but she gasped a lot and called for Fern, but Fern did not come to let her out because he was "bien muerto." She gasped and gasped.
  • Eva is fine, in her hospital bed, there was a love fest around her bed.
  • Then the happy couples all promised each other that they would be happy forever. How anybody can ever say that with a straight face I dunno.

and Ibarramedia wrote:

Oh noes, that is from yesterday. I'm guessing Melinama wrote in red.

I guess I will try to do this from my head. I will need a lot of help to fill in the blanks and I apologize in advance for typos since i'm not a fast typer and may not see the errors in my haste to get this done. Please don't mock my rough translation. I'm not that fluent yet. Here goes:

In the shed Fernando confesses to the murder of Don Bernanrdo. He says that it was an accident, but he provoked him and grabbed the steed by its reins.

He confessed to killing Armando and Rosario. we see a flashback of him shooting Rosario. He says it was stupid of her to be nosing around his safe and helping Juan Reyes. Fernando says he shot Eva,but we know that already. Sofia asks how is my Mama? How is my Mama?

At the dispensario, Eva is in bed being visited by the 2 sets of lovebirds.

Meanwhile, Sofia keeps asking how her Mama is. She yells at Fernando and demands him to answer her. Juan rides Capricho into the cemetery. Sofia yells at Fernando, I hate you!!!, I hate you!!! Damn you! Let me go! Let me go! Fernando tries to kiss Sofia but she resists and bites his tongue instead. Fernando spits out blood in disgust and leaves very pissed off. Sofia weeps helplessly.

Juan visits Gabriela's grave and yells at Gabriela from the beyond. Blood of my sister! where is Sofia? Damn you where is sofia? He demands to know where she is and although she is dead, thinks she is behind all this. He condemns her and rides off.

Nightfall comes signified by the full moon. Sofia pleads Fernando not to touch her. Fernando confesses to killing Ruth. Flashback to her murder. A marvellous and passionate death says Fernando. He killed her while making love to her.

Sofia exclaims that Fernando is a sick man. He is very disguting and repulsive. She is repulsed by his presence because he is morally repugnant.

Meanwhile, Juan is at the tomb of Libia. He is seen talking to himself, then a methaphorical lightbulb clicks and he realizes that Sofia is still alive and that he can feel it. Use the force and follow your heart.

Eva miraculously goes to mass accompanied by Sarita and Jimena. I'm in love with Sarita's legs. Eva is able to stand up, walk and kneel down before Padre Tadeo.

Fernando unties Sofia. I think he says that he will pleasure himself with her then kill her later. She again pleads Fernando to let her go. He tells her to shut up.

Juan finds them in the shed and a struggle ensues between Juan and Fernando. The one eyed undertaker, the sepulterero slugs Juan from behind while he had Fernando in a choke hold. Juan beats him up while Fernando makes his escape. He climbs on top of the crypt and thought bubbles that the sepulterero is an idiot after seeing Juan get away. He shoots at Juan and the Reyes Brothers Franco captures the sepulterero and leaves to take him to the commisario. Juan asks Oscar to take Sofia to Eva.

Eva is sick and weak again. She is back at the dispensario. Dr. Montez gets rid of Sarita and Jimena and he tries to revive Eva. Moments later, Sofia arrives but the dr. has given up hope and throws up his arms in resignation.

Sofia asks her true mother to answer her. she refuses to have her leave her. Eva opens her eyes and miraculously lives again. She asks are you really here? Another day has come and gone. Nightfall turns to dusk. Cut to Gabriela twitching her fingers amidst the sounds of heartbeats beating. Sofia consoles unibrow baby. (I think that is her real daughter. Both Sofia and Adela's)

The sepulterero is dropped off and he quickly escapes and drives off in the truck of the commisario and dumb and dumber. All three are worse than the 3 stooges at this point.

It is daybreak and Gabriela begins to be revived. Juan and Fernando have been fighting all night long. I swear those two lasts much longer than Manny Pacquiao and Oscar De La Hoya would in a fight. They even have stronger stamina than Lance Armstrong and Michel Phelps. More than 12 hours of fighting and running overnight would kill a normal human being. But these guys seem to have superhuman endurance. The battle carries over to a passing train. The back and forth continues through different cars in the locomotive with neither man gaining a true advantage.

Sofia prays to the Virgin Mary de Guadalupe to protect Juan. Juan and Fernando get off the train and he corners Fernando who stand in front of a tree with an 'F' branded into it. Juan seems to smile or grin. In his dying declaration, Fernando says you won't be lucky enough or strong enough to take Fernando Escandon alive. Fernando points the gun under his chin and commmits suicide.

Juan angrily runs to Fernando's corpse yelling you damn dog!,You damn dog! you denied me justice. Then fires his pistol in the air twice. Oscar and Franco try to calm him down as Juan grabs Fernando's corpse and screams you damn dog!

We shift to coffin cam and we see Gabriela reviving and asking where she is. She calls out to Fernando and starts to panic. the commisario of the town arrive with Padre Tadeo and dumb and dumber at the place where Fernado committed suicide and confirm that he is indeed dead.

The three brothers arrive at the hospital and notify their fiancees that Fernando is dead. The threat is over. He commited suicide rather than be captured alive. Juan asks sofia how Eva is. Sofia says that she is getting better thank God. Eva pledges her eternal gratitude to Juan for saving her daughter. She asks what happened to fernando. They say he is dead. And they don't have to worry about him anymore.

Gabriela still cries out for Fernando and in desperation, quickly uses up what little oxygen she had left. She later dies asphyxiated within the coffin. Descanse en Paz Dona Gabriela Acevedo de Elizondo. The sepulterero is supposed to be digging her out to get the money. He is just standing there.

The Reyes brothers go to Libia's tomb and tell her that Fernando is dead and God will mete out justice to him. The three promise to be together always.

Sofia, Sarita,Jimena and Juan,Oscar and Jimena pledge their eternal,undying and unconditional love for each other in their own rooms while making love to their respective partners. Oscar and Jimena are seen without their clothes save for their trademark boots during a passionate time in bed.

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Cuidavo con el Angel, Feb 19, 2009

Omar is awakened from his stupor by Blanca/Ivette and runs away scared.

JM goes to visit Onelia who Balbina says was sick earlier on in the day.

Omar runs to see Lirio/Marichuy and is saying that only she can save her. He thinks he is going crazy and that Ivette is perusing him.

Onelia tells JM that she feels dizzy and that her head hurts. She still cannot believe that Viv was capable of murdering someone. JM feels her pain, but it is what happened. He tells her to go see her doctor tomorrow. Onelia reminds him that she will leave his house on Sunday.

Omar awakens and Marichuy asks him if he feels better. He does and hopes that he caused her no problems with Amador because he stayed the night. She tells him not to worry about it; he did not see him come in. Omar asks did he not sleep here last night. Marichuy informs Omar that he never stays the night.

Eduardo and Beatrice are talking about Amador showing up at the baby’s baptism. Eduardo thinks that he wants her, but she tells him that he just wanted to cause problems. He doesn’t care for her or the baby. She wishes that he would just leave them alone. Eduardo tells her that there is only one way that he will leave her alone and that is to marry him.

Elsa is talking to Nelson who appears to be sleeping. She’s rambling on about Blanca and JM. When Nelson does not respond, she asks him if he is bored with her conversation. When he still does not reply she tries frantically to wake him up.

Beatrice tells him no that she cannot accept. She tells him that once Elsa is free… but all of a sudden Elsa runs up crying and asks Eduardo to help her because Nelson is not responding. Beatrice hugs her.

Marichuy thinks with Omar so drunk last night, he must have dreamt her up. Omar tells her that he remembers seeing Ivette in the garden earlier on that night. And he was not drinking then. Although she is far away in Europe somewhere. Maybe she died and that is why she appeared to me, but it seemed so real. I think I am going crazy and you are at fault.

Rocio goes to talk with Blanca and wants to know what is wrong. Blanca tells her that JM talked to her last night and she thinks that things are going to end with her and JM.

Marichuy says you blame me for what is going on with you? Omar says yes, for leaving me and making me live again all the pain of abandonment. Only you can save me. Only you can help me forget Ivette.

JM goes to check on Onelia again and she tells him that she still feels the same. He tells her that she must go see a doctor. Then dumbass JM tells her that if she needs a couple more days she can have it. Onelia smiles smugly.

Rocio wants to know why Blanca is saying that. Blanca tells her that JM found Marichuy again and now there is a baby. Rocio says what baby? “Did you not know that they have a baby together”, asks Blanca. Rocio is shocked and cannot believe it.

Ceci is looking for Marichuy’s apartment. She rings the doorbell and waits.

JM finally tells Rocio the complicated triangle involving himself, Marichuy and Omar. Suddenly Omar comes in and informs JM that he spent the night at Lirio’s/Marichuy’s.

Olga finally answers the door for Ceci with the baby in her arms. Ceci just stares at the baby.

Omar happily tells JM that there is nothing going on between Amador and Lirio/Marichuy. Rocio interrupts and tells JM that it is time for him to leave for Blanca’s therapy. JM tells Rocio to tell Blanca that he will be with her in a moment; he just needs to talk to Omar for a second. After Rocio leaves, JM asks Omar what he was doing at Lirio’s/Marichuy’s.

Marichuy rides her bike to Wal-Mart and starts buying toys for the orphans. She and a store clerk fill up a shopping cart full. (How is she going to get all that stuff in her little basket on her bike?)

Omar instead of answering JM’s question starts talking about Blanca. JM says that is not what I asked you. What I’m telling you has to do with your question responds Omar. I am suffering from hallucinations. I keep remembering a woman who I thought I had forgotten. I think I have told you about all this. Because of her I was late in helping a woman deliver her baby and they died. That’s why I moved to the hacienda. And it was Lirio who saved me. Did I tell you that I helped bring her baby into this world? (I wonder what in the world was in that coffee that he drank at Marichuy’s because he is bouncing from one thing to another)

Ceci asks Olga who the baby belongs to. Olga tells her that it’s Marichuy’s. Ceci becomes breathless and asks her to let her hold the baby since she knows that she is the grandmother.

Marichuy rides her bike down the sidewalk with a trailer thing at the end hauling all the toys she brought for the orphans behind her. She also brings fruit. The orphans are so happy along with the nuns.

Omar recounts the story of how he helped save Lirio/Marichuy and the baby’s life when she went into labor. He says God gave him another chance to save a life. Do you understand how she came to save my life? That is why I cannot lose her. That is why I keep seeking her out and why I want to be with her for the rest of my life. You don’t know her, but to know her is to love her.

Ceci is so happy to be holding Marichuy’s and JM’s baby. She asks Cande why she was not informed of the baby’s birth. Cande tells her that Marichuy did not want anyone to know about the baby. Olga is nervous and asks Ceci for the baby back, but Ceci begs her to let her hold him a bit longer. Cande tells Ceci that she needs to leave before Marichuy comes home.

Onelia tells Isa that she left the house so that JM thinks she went to the doctor. He’s falling into my trap so that I can stay at the house. Onelia wants to slowly destroy Blanca for murdering her daughter.

JM starts questioning Blanca about her childhood. Was it a happy one? Blanca tells him that her parents were good to her and they died when she was 16. JM asks her how her attitude was after they died. Did she ignore her studies, your interests or activities? No, she had to take care of her little sister who was 13. She was very innocent and very dependent on my mother. So I dedicated my life to her. JM asks her how her sister died. Blanca opens her eyes and does not want to answer the question. JM insists that she tell him so that he can help her. He again asks her how she died. Was she sick or did she die because of something you did? He keeps pressing and finally she yells out that her sister committed suicide and says no more. JM finally says the session is over and he wants her to rest, he will stay with her. He says to himself that she wants to be with Marichuy and their son.

Onelia pretends to be ill coming into the house and Mayita asks her what is wrong. Onelia tells her that the doctor she went to says that her blood pressure is high and gave her some pills to take. She tells Mayita that the reason she’s sick is because she does not want to leave the house and her. Mayita promises to visit her all the time wherever she’s at. Onelia reminds her that she sees her everyday at the castle.

Ceci comes in the living room excited and wanting to tell Patricio where she was just at. He rudely tells her that he knows where she was. He hopes that she was treated better then he was. Ceci tells him that they have a grandbaby. Patricio actually smiles while Estephania is pissed.

JM goes to visit Mayita in her room to say goodnight. She tells him that she cannot sleep without a kiss from him. He gives her one and she asks him why Onelia has to leave. She wants her to stay.

Marichuy and another guy are practicing another play. She misspeaks a word and Amador gets onto her. They continue, but Amador again stops them. He gives them pointers and tells them to start again. Marichuy asks him if they can stop because she wants to go home quickly. She has a funny feeling, but Amador tells her no. They have to finish practicing.

Cande begs the baby to go to sleep. She touches his cheeks and notices that he is burning up.

Eduardo tells Elsa’s parents that Nelson is not doing to good. Elsa’s parents worry about her.

Cande is crying and praying. She decides that Eduardo is the one to call and remembers that he usually hangs out with Elsa so she looks for the number in Marichuy’s address book. She calls and finds out Eduardo has just left. She then decides to call Omar. Balbina takes the message and goes to find Omar but comes across JM and tells him about the phone call regarding a very sick baby.

Marichuy is in the theater and gets a standing ovation. She walks into her dressing room with Olga talking about how Amador refused to let her go see her son before the performance.

JM storms into the apartment looking for his son.

Ceci talks to Patricio all about the baby and how wonderful she feels. Patricio brings her down with his dumb comments.

JM tells Cande that they have to give the baby a bath to bring down the tempeture.
JM has the baby on the bed and tells Cande that the bath seems to have helped bring down the tempeture.

Tomorrow: Olga tells Marichuy that the baby is sick and Omar finally finds out the truth.

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Tontas no van - Wed. Feb 18 - You can hide the truth but the truth can't hide you

We open with Marissa not amused in the least bit at the face book shot Ali gave her, Ali offers to send them to her computer.


Candi and Santi finish their conversation, basically the same thing as usual, he’s getting married and going to have a boy and he says he’ll be th best pa ever, but the one he wants is her.

Gregi is cooking for Meno, he likes the food and gives her a job. He still wants to know who her boyfriend is.


Mari has flames coming out of her ears as she wonders what these two fakers are going to do when they see this.


Pau fights with Santi about getting to see Roci, she wants to get back the time she lost. HA! Santi reminds her she abandoned her. She says I’m still her Ma, she’s forgiven me so you should too. He says fine as long as she stops putting these things in her head about pa not loving her and she needs to go to NY and all that, it’s really bad. She agrees, thanks him and goes out.


Horty nearly knocks him out to hand him the photo his girlfriend left. You can guess what it is….

Mari now presents the same one to Candi and makes her feel bad for doing the same thing to her that her sister did, yeah it feels the same, remember it? Our “perfect princess” can say nothing and runs out sobbing. The sobbing continues for quite a while. She decides Mari is right and that she has to leave Mari alone to be with Santi. Mari on the other hand recharges her armaments to now deal with Santi.


While Candi is cleaning herself up in the bathroom, she notices the baby clothes in the trash. Of course Barbara comes in and wonders what she is doing with the gift she gave to Mari. Candi is perplexed. Now I would have ratted her out right then and there, but Candi lies (again, though this time it’s probably not to hurt Barb) and says Mari was showing them to her. I’m thinking, why would you throw them away in the common bathroom of your mutual workplace? Bizarre.

OK, so now it’s Santi’s turn to get chewed out and he tries to calm Mari down and tell her she matters. She gets faint and rejects him wanting to help her but he wants to check her out. She makes a face like maybe she’s ok after all, hard to tell.


Charly and Lu are at the mall with some buddies, the boys are making fun of Lu for being so serious about school, saying it doesn’t really help. Lu gets mad because Charly agrees. She stomps off with her girlfriends. One of the guys asks Charly if he really wants his moto, because if so he has a good business he’ll share. Ok, here we go, yes, it’s the wonder herb, definitely not above board. Ay yay yay, Charly is starting that slippery slide I fear.

Now Ali tortures Pato with the photo. She wants him to know Candi isn’t the same person he fell in love with. He says fine, well you’ve hurt me so there. She says she didn’t want that, despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s already lost all her dignity and she doesn’t even care if he sleeps with Candi, she only wants him not to leave her.

Zamora and Tono discuss that Lulu is going to be the fat armed one. Ton takes it literally, but Zam says that just means she’s going to flip out when she sees Greg in the kitchen. He also says that the school won’t accept him with the makeover Candi is doing. They whisper some stuff, so I guess a surprise is coming.


Ok this was weird. Candi finally goes into to talk to Mari and says she didn’t mean to hurt her, but Mari says eh, don’t worry. Santi is irresistible, it’ll change when we are married. I’m over it already. Huh? Ok, whatever. Candi busts her on the baby clothes, but Mari acts like she didn’t know where she left them and thanks Candi for saving them for her. Candi is perplexed.


We have a random scene in the kitchen to learn that tomorrow will be Izzy’s wedding. She gets a stiff neck, so must be she is nervous - seems to happen after Donato remarks she'll soon be going to live with Jaime.


Of course Lulu arrives and wants to know what Gregi is doing there. This breaks down into insults and a standoff with a knife, Lulu being called at fatty from Tlaquepaque, and Greg getting called something, maybe pulpista from the Plaza de Liberacion. I wasn’t able to record, so this part is from you tube without captions. If you did get it, feel free to let me know. The plaza is the big one we always see, here’s a great pic I took, and it’s a very public place so there's some sort of put down of street peddler or lurker or pidgeon, or something you might find in such a place. Anyway, Greg informs her this is not her kitchen now, so go, and persuades her with the knife. Lulu scampers off.





Mari is at Raul’s and wants him to read an article about how a woman was drugged woke up naked and the next thing she knew she was pregnant. He figures that she is suggesting he do the same thing to Candi and tells her she’s nuts. She responds that she thinks Candi needs some love and maybe he could be it. He says no way and shuts her up, but he might be thinking about this.
Everyone is outside of Izzy’s room including Jaime and it appears she really is having a nervous breakdown. She passes a note to her son that she suspends the wedding.

At home Candi and Ma are talking about the tossed baby clothes how strange it all is, and how upset Lulu was. Charly suggests that he wants a moto and no one likes that idea. The doorbell rings and it turns out to be Ali. It also turns out that Pato was there too and comes running down just then with Chava and playing lucha libre masks. Ali remarks how great that the whole family is there. She decides to tell Candi that Pato is innocent and that he was practically unconscious from drink. Candi doesn’t buy this though and Pato wants to leave, but Ali wants her family back. Candi says no. Pato escorts her out and Candi goes up to bed leaving whatever was on the table before pending.

Next we see Jaime freaking out , they call for a doc but Santi asks what he is , a firefighter? Jaime decides he doesn’t need that kind of doc help, and he’s fine. He wanders off and Santi goes in to see his crying ma. She loves Jaime but turns out she doesn’t want to leave her house and her family. Santi tells her he wasn’t for it at first, but if Jaime makes her happy then they should come to live in this house. They hug and he calls her his darling little old lady. She takes offense at this and he blames it on the Argentinos having a saying, but she says they aren’t Argentino so she wants him punished and kicks him out for being rude.

Ed and Raul are doing very nice hip moves to the tele and Raul suggests that maybe Chayo isn’t really putting the horns on, but instead is sending herself flowers to fool him. I liked watching them move their hips.

Jaime and Izzy make up and Mari shows up not wanting to sleep by herself, so she wants to sleep with Santi. He of course, standing in front of his daughters tells her she will sleep in the guest room and like it. She’s a little slow on the uptake, but eventually gets that they can sneak later.

Chava notes to Candi how long it’s been since he’s wet the bed. Hmmm, the Pato effect perhaps? Everyone says good night, and Candi asks for them to take Chava to school because she has her test very early. They talk about going to the wedding.

Chayo is happy she finally slept in the same bed with her husband for a change. Turns out he’s on the phone, but Candi tells her to keep playing the game and to tell him she’s occupied. She fears it may be too much, but goes for it.

Lalo tells Santi he was happy to spend the night with his wife. This happiness is forgotten quickly as he gets a call and gives a kiss, was it from his wife or lover? I think it was his lover because he makes an excuse of working a lot and that’s why he hasn’t called. He thinks maybe he’ll see her tonight, but Santi reminds him, no, he’s coming to his Ma’s wedding.

Mari goes into Candi’s office and sees that she is writing a diary on her computer and sits down to read it. Lulu comes upon this and decides to fake she heard Mari calling her. Mari says no, she was only turning off Candi’s computer because she left it on. Neither one believes the other and they give each other stink eye.

Lalo goes to the office to take Chayo out to lunch but he falls into a trap. I don’t get this, she was worried about not talking to him on the phone, but instead she fakes making out with a man and driving off to a restaurant making him follow her? Big leap there, sort of deserving of what happens next. She goes to Meno’s restaurant and of course Lalo follows and rushes in wanting to know where his wife is. He grabs Charly and fakes that he has a gun in his pocket. Meno tries to talk sense into him and learns his gun is the two finger barrel type and wonders what’s wrong. Chayo, who is boiling over at this point, comes out and proclaims that she’ll leave her guy if he leaves his girl. And the writers leave us until tomorrow.

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Fuego, Wed., Feb. 18: What have I done to deserve this?

Hey, are any of you Gloria Trevi fans? This past weekend I saw her in Chicago for her birthday/Valentine's day concert--it was amazing!
And to think it took over 218 episodes for Sofia to hit up the 80’s vintage rack at the Goodwill. Oh, and Sarita even took off her fake glasses. How sweet.

So, Gabi is, yet again, the hapless victim of her own drug-induced circumstances, and envisions green gases emerging from the mirrors and tea cups—just like Alice in Wonderland. Well, whoever said you can’t take it [wealth] with you was sadly mistaken because clearly Gabi’s stuffing the dough in the sides of the casket will serve as a fine offering to her mythological higher gods, and will probably get her a pretty good seat at God’s table… unless she goes to the other place, in which case she would still probably eat in the company of the head honcho. Anyway, all the “new-attitude” girls are freakin’ out about Mommy locking herself in her cabin again. Ok, who left the borderline sociopath alone in a locked room with alcohol and sharp objects? You know what the color scheme does to her… So before the boomerang family physician can pop out another unmarked bottle of “medication,” the girls bust down the door, only to find mother dearest lying in a pool of what we hope is her own filth. Sure, no one here will ever be able to put two and two together, but let’s just take the gray face as a sign of a rapid, soul-less death. And I thought we only used partial-color body parts in senior portraits…

Outside is just like any other day on Bonanza—except the diabetes supplies guy is probably doing commercials. The big, bad Fernie and his valiant steed circle the strong-willed, do-gooders on their respective ponies. For many narco-traffickers, this is merely child’s play. For a civilization that just discovered the heretic ways of gun powder, this is a battle reminiscent of the Alamo—which would have gone much smoother had they used their own company minivans.

The 218th meeting of Self-righteous Hypocrites is now in session. “I was never your daughter, but I always loved you like a mother,” wines Sofia. The other two are floating in a river of their own tears and pity. That’s funny: Isn’t this the same woman you labeled hopelessly crazy and you did everything in your power to escape her wrath? I guess (multiple) attempted (and successful) murders mitigate themselves in the dying hours of someone who always despised us. Then again, I wouldn’t know because I don’t belong to this upstanding organization. Oh, I see, now it’s time to blame ourselves. Of course, now we will deny that she’s really dead. Boy, we’re gonna go full circle in the recovery process before the next commercial break.

So, little Eva can officially join the circle of devoted housewives and mothers because Sofia officially recognized her as her legitimate mother. Somehow I doubt DNA testing was ever involved, but it’s still a nice gesture. And to think, Eva had all this confidence even before she knew Gaby kicked the bucket. Poor Fatima, an aspiring member of the aforementioned organization, is crying cats and dogs herself because her constant source of verbal abuse and physical assault has bit the dust. Whoever will chastise her for braiding her hair with green ribbons? The only one who doesn’t have her own breakdown is Eva, who is surely doing a silent cheer on the inside because Lifetime Competitor Numero Uno is out of the way, facilitating Eva’s acquisition of two more “daughters she never had.”

Now, while our beloved characters are wallowing in self pity (which may appear to the untrained eye to be reverence and remorse), I will mention that the bitch got off way too easy, but that doesn’t even surprise me because God knows that if the Televisa team had another brain, it’d be lonely. All I can say is thank you for not surprising me. Oh, and girlies, don’t even attempt to play the “mother never loved us” part, your sister’s been doing that her entire life.

So I’m not really sure why it took Eva all night to get over to the mansion if she “came as soon as she found out” in the middle of the day. And for that matter, if your beloved, beloved mother just died minutes ago, would you change and freshen up to hug your boyfriend? And if the Reyes really operate in a trio-terrific team, why would they leave their eternal role model alone to take on evil incarnate? Well, the point is, they did, and sure enough Fernie has Juan at gun point, again (yawn), but a fist always beats a gun—at least that’s what they taught the children at the dispensary—and a man’s worth is determined by his ability to remain conscious under water. Because I’m on the verge of falling asleep, I’ll briefly relate that Juan, in his brutish glory, punched-out Fernie while repeating “you killed my sister.” Then Juan thought that holding Fernie under water for 15 seconds was long enough to kill him several times over, so he stood up, pounded his peckers, and belted out the “Libia” song, which ended with a blow to his head from a curious Mexican peasant-farmer. Leave it to the disgruntled proletariat to knock off the good guys. Of course, Fernie is not dead yet, and at this rate I’m beginning to think he’s basically Mexico’s Tuck Everlasting. So, naturally, Fernie picks up a shovel to kill the already (probably) dead brute, but his ego is only surpassed by his incompetence and Team Good-guys arrives and, like the pussies they are, politely warns that, if pushed, they might kill Fernie. Well, that was enough to get Fernie packing and in “un dos por tres,” he was outta there.

Right, so before the bitch is even in the ground, let’s pull out the will and start dividing up the assets. At least Slow-fia has the decency to give the devil’s corpse a proper burial. Stiffy Paddy Taddy has been robo-tized and parrots everything the dyed-hair woman mumbles. No, Jimena, Mommy’s diamond studs are mine!

I really don’t understand why everyone on this show has a disability. Sally had God-knows-what going on with her forehead and eyes; the obsequious peasant-farmer has some weird shit goin’ on with his eyes, too. And I won’t even begin to list the mental incapacities of our protagonists… I know they do this so people can relate, but next time I want a show where people can operate cell phones and spell their names.

Well, no time is wasted to get Crabi in the ground and out of the way of the family fortune. Lucky the family has a personalized servant-priest at their beck and call. These funerals are always the most intimate of reunions. Though, I for one would have been dancing on the casket and serving party cocktails by the gallons. I guess we all have our ways of “mourning.” Because the Hypocrite club never convened, it’s only appropriate that Eva, too, initiate herself and ask Gabi to forgive and accept her. Ok, honey, Gabi can’t hear you, and do you really think that just because she died she would suddenly like you? NO. You’re not allowed to have friends, remember? I swear they shot the scene from the first episode I recapped (Bernie’s death) and this one on the same day. Would these people really pay for two caskets, and would the actors really be able to cry twice? “Lo dudo muchisimo.”

Of course, Juan couldn’t attend the funeral with everyone else, so he goes to the after party the next morning. You see, that’s the custom in Mexico to leave the dead corpse in a hot room for days until the magic angels return the body to Jesus. In case you care (and I know all you “I’m looking for a Spanish teacher” people care), Juan tells Gabi that she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, but he’s a good Christian boy so he knows that God and Jesus and he should forgive her.

Ok, these people are drugged. One scene is day, one scene is night, the next day, etc. You’d think that by the last show they could maybe get the technical crew up to a community-theater level, but apparently we’re still stuck with lighting for basements and industrial areas. So, if you thought that it was day, it was just the tweaked-out lighting guy’s trippin’ imagination. Back to the story; the now seven living people on this show gather at the midnight burial of Gabi the Great. Now, I’ve never had a pretend abusive mother die, but if I did, I would never, never, never, burry her ass in the middle of the night with a Frankenstein-ish priest and a handicapped peasant-farmer sleeping on the graves. Oh, I lied, there are only three people present at this funeral; Fernie and sidekick are watching from afar, and therefore not in attendance.

I really don’t understand these people. If Sofia breaks a nail, she contemplates the gravity of the situation and carries on for days. If her supposed “love of her life” pretend mother dies, she’s as giddy as a school girl the next day. New-mom Eva and new-daughter Sofia go out for a drive. Their trip is interrupted as the idiotic driver takes them to a sheep pasture (in Caribbean Mexico?), where instead of turning, he wants to go straight and therefore gets out to do whatever it is he thinks he can do. Meanwhile, mother and daughter are just a bunch of chatty Cathies until said driver is pounded to a pulp by Fernie (Who the hell knows how no one saw him in a wide-open pasture.), and then Fernie holds the girlies at gunpoint. Given his history of gun-points, I am confident that these girls are actually safer with Fernie at gunpoint than in the empty hands of the rage-full husband/boyfriend/son-in-law Mighty Joe Juan. Of course, I’ve been wrong before. Well, I told Eva “don’t be a hero.” But, she just got too much confidence too fast, and that’s why she put herself between Fernie and Sofia, and ended up shot. Because it’s painfully obvious that she has to die according to telenovela custom, don’t be surprised when they burry her tonight.

Because it wasn’t enough that mommy dearest #2 just got shot, Sofia had to play the hero (it’s a serious trend on this show), but only ended up in the back of Fernie’s truck. Naturally, Juan instantly had the premonition that “Sofia is in danger.” If he could only direct his premonition powers into finding her and being able to kill the enemy… Just as Fernie pulls away, the driver comes to, and assists Eva.

Ok, Sofia, you were slapped on the face, not crushed by a Mack Truck—don’t pretend to have amnesia. And don’t even start to pretend to love/need/depend on your pretend mother.

Oh, here’s a great scene. PaddyTaddy: “When will Fernie ever stop?” It’s a question the greatest intellectual minds and philosophical gods have pondered for millennia. No, actually, you blithering moron—it stops whenever you open your goddamn mouth, you stupid idiot. Here’s my question: “How many murder confessions does it take for PadTad to consider doing something about women who are continually raped and killed on his watch and conscience?”

Great, Sofia, the man has you at gunpoint and you have the balls to tell him that you hate him. Fernie is going to show her a good time tonight. Jail/bondage scenes are always better than abandoned barn scenes, so I’ve got money that Sofia will end up loving Fernie after tonight.

Good going, Juan. Your mother-in-law is on her death bed, and you have to tell her that you can’t find her daughter, who is probably already dead. It wasn’t the bullet that killed her, it was Juan’s ignorance. Which only proves that being that stupid is not only debilitating to oneself, but deathly detrimental to others.

And so, our story ends.

Well, I never expected anything from this telenovela, so I’m sure as hell not disappointed. What, if anything, just happened? Where’s Gramps? All I can say is; if these people are supposed to be average, maybe even above-average in their region, does that mean that half of the people operate at a level below them? If so, I suddenly understand the entire Welfare System of the U.S.A.

Over-arching theme: A family that eats, sleeps, bathes, and thinks together, attempts revenge, murder, and false marriages together—even when they’re not sure why.

Lastly, and most importantly, I want you to know that I was only able to write these recaps because I was writing them for each and every one of you, who consistently and loyally demonstrated your kindness, support, and friendship. If one good thing came from the triple wedding, it is this here FELS family. I will always remember fondly the hilarious times we shared on the Caray website, and I wish you all the very best of health, wealth, and happiness.

Your friend,
Nickster

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