Caray, Caray!

I've been writing this on breaks at work, I was going to go a little farther but what the hell. Hopefully I'll have more soon.


At the end of the computer fiasco, Ariel the Little Mermaid corners Jessica Rabbit and tells her that he knows she’s responsible and he wants her to spy on the company for him or he’ll let the right people know, at which point she’ll be bounced out on her ass.

At the cocktail reception, Lety manages to somehow, I don’t know how, lose a shoe in the outdoor fountain. She argues with a drunken waiter to get it back, eventually it ends up back on her foot. She heads inside to find Fernando.

Inside, Fernando is scoping out the hotties, looking for some fresh meat. He sets his sight on one of the sales ladies, named Magali. She’s pretty I guess (she is going to be the female lead in Heridas de Amor) but there’s something not hot about her, I’m not sure what. Fernando doesn’t agree with me however, he zooms in. He and Omar put on a whole song and dance and seem to win her over, a little anyway. Fernando’s cell phone rings, of course it’s Marcia the unblinking eye, he nervously does the whole “what’s up? Oh nothing, this is boring, you know heh heh” thing since he’s standing next to his next conquest. He eventually gets her to laughingly agree to appear as a model in one of Conceptos’s next videoclips. I love they way they say ‘videoclip’ on the show, pronounce that with Spanish pronunciation and you’ll see what I mean. Veeedeocleeep. I love it, especially coming from Luigi.

Lety calls RoboPapa, who is pissed that she’s out late. Doesn’t she know all the men are just waiting for their chance to rip her clothes off and abuse her?

Jessica Rabbit goes home and finds notes from both the electric company and the gas company – she’s cut off. Miss high life has spent all her money on trying to look rich, now she has no electricity or gas. She calls her dad and begs for money, but apparently she has done this many many times before and he tells her tough noogies, no dice.

Fernando finds Lety outside waiting for a bus, he gives her a ride home. Marcia questions him when he finally gets back to his place, “Where the hell have you been?” “uh, with Lety.” The Unblinking Eye seethes. And seethes some more. She then rakes him over the coals about the report from the meeting, Fernando gets a “what the hell am I doing here” look on his face.

Meanwhile, Lety dreamily writes in her diary some more about how awesome Fernando is. Again.

The next day Omar tries to seduce Jessica Rabbit with his constipation looks, he says they should get together at her place later. She rushes to the Unblinking Eye to whine. “Maaaaarcia no tengo luz ni gas! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaarrccciiaaaaaaaaaa!” She begs Marcia to basically fix the problem for her. Marcia breaks down and loans her the money.

The big showdown over the 35mm vs video camera is progressing. Fernando intends to go all video now that the 35mm has been broken, so he tells Luigi “ok I’ll get you a new camera in a while, for now why don’t you use the video camera. You know, for a while.” Luigi, in his own special stereotypically gay way , says no.

Fernando and Marcia discuss his plans to give Lety signing authority on all the bank accounts. Of course, she is livid and thinks it is a horrible idea, based on her incredibly unrealistic jealousy of Lety. Fernando explains that she needs the authority because…… Tadaaaa! We’re all going to L.A. to drum up some business with some U.S. companies! They’ll be leaving in a few days/weeks, it wasn’t very clear. Fernando, Marcia, and Omar will make the trip.

J.R. tells Marcia that the money she loaned her wasn’t enough to pay her bills. What she DOESN’T tell her is that she used the money to pay her credit card, not the electric and gas.

In the next meeting, the subject of the next veeedeocleeep comes up, Fernando casually mentions that he has the model for it. He says Magali’s name, Luigi flips. He knows her and looooves her. “she’s so pretty, so divine!” He often says ‘divine’ in English. One of his little quirks is to say little bits in English a lot, most frequently “oh my GOD!” Hilarious. Again, the Unblinking Eye is all pissed off at Fernando for having the balls to be in the same room as an attractive woman, over the whole Magali thing.

Cinerent, one of the companies from the cocktail reception, decides it wants Conceptos’s business at any cost. Miguel from that company calls Lety and says he wants to take her to lunch to talk business. We see Miguel in his office with his extremely attractive boss discussing his plan to bribe her. This boss lady took me by surprise. Usually the hottest women are stars, or are featured heavily in the few episodes they appear in. This character could have been played by any woman between the ages of 25 and 80, for some reason this absolute knockout got this dud role. It just seems strange, that’s all. Anyway, Lety tells El Club that she has a lunch appointment, they all titter on like somebody proposed marriage.

Miguel says he’ll call her from his car when he’s in the parking lot, he doesn’t want anyone to see him with such a Fea. However, basically the entire company happens to be outside when she gets in his car. Patricia, one of the ladies in El Club, can’t believe Lety is going off with such a guapo. This guy, guapo? No way. He has the strangest ears I’ve ever seen. They look like bat ears. I was mesmerized by them and had to rewind a couple times because I wasn’t paying attention to dialogue. He could fly away with those things, or hear supersonic sounds. Like dog whistles. Lunch begins and Miguel tries to pump her for inside information on Conceptos with very little tact. Lety freezes up and doesn’t tell him anything. He goes on to tell her that he’ll offer her the lowest prices, she can come to him with whatever the prices are from anywhere else and he’ll give them a lower price. Lastly, he says he’ll give her a kickback – up to 500,000 pesos a year possibly. This is a ton of money, especially since that ‘89 LeBaron seems to have the family strapped for cash. Lety of course is appalled by the suggestion and suggests that Miguel take a long walk off a short pier. Or the Spanish equivalent of that at least.

Omar tries to work his constipated charms on J.R., she puts him off by saying that she’s having dinner with her father, in reality she is too embarrassed by not having power or gas in her apartment. The mere mention of ‘father’ sends Omar packing, he’s in it for the sex, there’s no way he wants to go anywhere near her parents.

Lety is in her office wondering what to do. She’s insulted by Miguel offering a kickback, but she wants the money to help her family. She decides to at least tell Fernando that Cinerent will offer prices lower than anyone else. She won’t tell him who to choose, but giving him that info won’t hurt. She manages to convince herself of this and tells him that part of Miguel’s offer.

Ariel the Little Mermaid shows up at J.R.’s apartment, he wants more info on what is going on with the company since he can’t get any scoop from anyone else there. He finds out about her electricity and gas being out and proceeds to mock her about it, then demands some whiskey. He derides the whiskey he gives her as piss. This guy is the perfect guest. J.R. can’t wait for him to leave, she won’t even sit down. “ok thanks for stopping by see you bye bye now ok bye.” But the Little Mermaid takes off his jacket, loosens his tie and gets comfortable. J.R. tells him all about Lety getting signing authority for the bank accounts. She goes on to tell him about Lety sneaking off with Miguel the bat-eared guy and says it must be for some secret business, Miguel is sooo handsome and would never go on a social date with a fea like Lety. The Little Mermaid calls Olarte to tell him about Cinerent and to see if Olarte knows anything about them, then gets off the phone and attempts to seduce J.R. She is REALLY not interested, she is repulsed by him, but he has too much power over her and she gives in. Blech.

Lety calls Tomas and tells him all about the lunch and the offer of a bribe. She also tells him that she told her friends that Tomas was rich and handsome and that the two of them were on the way to being an item. She told her friends that to throw them off, the cleaning lady reads fortunes and senses that Lety has a crush on somebody. Lety doesn’t want anyone to know of course that she dreams of bumping uglies with the boss.

With J.R. not available for the evening, Omar is out cruising the bars and he runs into Paula Maria, the receptionist. If you remember, Paula Maria is BUILT. She is dancing around in a micro-mini skirt and a top that looks about like a band-aid. Omar gets his super-constipated look, sucking air through his teeth like this trip to the john is a painful one, and lays some Fernando-quality lines on her. Oye guapa! She’s already a bit drunk, he gets her more drunk, she already likes him because he’s handsome and rich, so she’s an easy conquest. They head out of the bar together.

We see the Little Mermaid getting dressed in J.R.’s bedroom, we also see a very un-satisfied looking J.R. sitting on the bed. I don’t get the impression that Ariel was a great lover. She still has her dress on that she was wearing that day. He tells her that he’s going to keep coming by for information and sex and there’s nothing she can do about it. She says nothing. After he leaves, she desperately calls Omar on his cell phone. The phone rings on the nightstand next to Omar, who is laying in bed with Paula Maria. OOOoops. He answers, thinking Paula Maria is asleep, and tells J.R. that he misses her too, yes honey I love you too, etc. Paula Maria is awake, she hears the whole thing. Her face contorts into a very jealous scowl. Shortly thereafter Omar gets up and while getting dressed, implores Paula Maria not to tell anyone about what happened between the two of them. It was so special, etc, lets keep it between us, la la la. Same old story.

Fernando drops the news to Lety about the trip to L.A., he asks her to make the travel arrangements. He also decides to buy from Cinerent, since they offer the best prices. Lety calls Miguel the bat-eared guy and tells him that Conceptos will buy from them. He tells her “ok I’ll have your money ready, just tell me what bank to put it in.” She says nothing and gets off the phone.

In the morning, Paula Maria rides to work with Omar. Another day, another Conceptos employee coming to work in the same clothes as yesterday. Omar tells her for the 1000th time to keep what happened just between them. I think we get the message Omar. He then gives her a constipated grimace to keep her horny. Apparently Omar has stumbled across the look/grimace that drives women wild, like some secret chemical, or some special combination of words like what works so well for Fernando. Hola guapa!

Omar and Fernando start concocting a scheme that will be a major part of the story for quite a while. Fernando wants to start a second ‘shadow’ company to protect Conceptos in the likely chance that some of its creditors want to take some assets from them for unpaid loans. Business is bad, if they can’t make payments the company might go under. I’m not sure what passes for bankruptcy in Mexico. They will put this new company in someone’s name who they completely trust, since they can’t use their own names or the company won’t be separate enough. This shadow company would be given first rights to Conceptos’s assets if they go bankrupt. If the company gets all the company stuff, Fernando can protect himself from losing the company, so long as the owner of this new company can be trusted.

Lety tells her father what Miguel the bat-eared guy offered her, she tearfully says she doesn’t want to do it but the family needs the money. RoboPapa wheeeeezes through the conversation, his frequent need to draw a deep breat causing a 30 second conversation to last a good five minutes. In a nutshell – “wheeeeeeezz Lety mi hija hseeeeeszz don’t do it gaaasssspppp keep your integrity cough cough wheeeeeEEEEEEeeeezz gasp it is the first step down a slippery slope HAAAACCCKKK don’t do it.” Lety, even more tearfully than before, I think because she can hear her father slowly dying every time he talks, agrees that morally she cannot take the money.

Meanwhile, Ariel the Little Mermaid has made some progress. Olarte told him that Cinerent regularly offered kickbacks, he’s sure that is what Lety and Bat-guy were meeting about. Ariel is momentarily angry at Olarte, “that means you were taking kickbacks before?” but gets over it. He must admire Olarte’s sliminess, though it will never rival his own. He gets Olarte to call Bat-guy on the phone and tapes the conversation. Olarte leads the conversation to the subject of Lety and kickbacks, Bat-guy tells him everything, insinuating that Lety accepted the offer. Ariel gets an evil grin going, excited at the idea of bringing Fernando’s trusted assistant to ruin.


Lety goes to Fernando and confesses that Bat-guy offered her a kickback in conjunction with the low prices and she considered taking it. Of course, then, she quits. She says he can’t trust her any more so she’s quitting. Again. I think this makes quitting twice and getting fired twice.

Ariel arrives at Conceptos with his little cassette tape, prepared to wreak havoc. He first goes to Marcia’s office to set the plan in motion. He asks her, “does Fernando still trust in her blindly? He does whatever she says?” She answers yes, rolling her eyes and growling. He says “check this out then!” and plays the tape. Marcia is pissed and also is excited at the prospect of getting rid of Lety. The two of them storm off to Fernando’s office together to kill the rabbit. Uh I mean get rid of Lety, I was feeling like Elmer Fudd there for a minute.

Lety is still crying and trying to quit when the Little Mermaid and the Unblinking Eye storm into the office. Ariel is VERY proud of himself as he starts flinging accusations at Lety and brings out his smoking gun, the recording of Olarte’s call with Bat-guy. They listen to the tape. Fernando then tells them that Lety was just telling him everything before they came in. She DIDN’T take any money, and that phone call doesn’t prove anything anyway. Bat-guy never said he gave her money and Olarte has already proven that he can’t be trusted. Marcia turns on Ariel and switches sides, now siding with Fernando. They tell Ariel to grow up already and find something else to do besides potting the downfall of Conceptos. Don’t you have a real job Ariel? I can’t figure out what it is, but there must be something that keeps you in that bad haircut and ugly suits.

After the others leave, Fernando tells Lety that he has even more confidence and trust in her now than ever, de ninguna manera can she quit. By coming to him and telling him everything she has earned his trust. This doesn’t entirely make sense, but whatever. If I told my boss that I almost accepted a bribe, that I reeaaaallly thought about taking it but didn’t, he wouldn’t be telling me ‘good job.’

Olarte calls Ariel to see what happened, Ariel tells him to disappear and never call him or see him again. Adios. Now if we can only get rid of that GROSS fingerlicking Lopez the HR guy. He’s so nasty.

Labels: fea-e