Caray, Caray!

Labels: duelo

Hello everyone. My name is George. I came across this website looking for Duelo de Passiones recaps. I really liked what I saw and decided to ask blog mom Melinama if I could join the Accoralada recap group. She graciously allowed me to join and here I am. I started watching Accoralada three weeks ago and got caught up to date here. I hope to do a good job.

A little about me, I'm 18 years old and I lived in Puerto Rico for 5 years during which I learned spanish. I currently reside in New Jersey where I go to college. I guess that's all for now.

Labels: acorralada, recapper-intro

Cande is spilling the beans to Mayeya that Miriam is Leo’s real mom and he hears it all and starts to hyperventilate. He goes to church to have a mini-breakdown. He prays to la virgencita about having such a crappy mom, “What’s a boy to do?” He tells the priest, who already knew but whose lips were sealed vis a vis the confession defense. Leo whines that he was much happier without knowing the truth and now has tons of questions.

Dolores goes to D’s house to get some stuff for Tiberio, but D is in a grand funk. She tries to talk him out of it, to no avail.

Gabriel is missing MA and feeling sorry for himself and how lonely he is.

MA is remembering happier moments that didn’t involve bondage by duct tape and old smelly bandanas. What a great opportunity for a flashback! She starts praying, and even the kidnapper is impressed with her strength of character.

Leo goes to confront Miriam and looks none too happy about it. Miriam’s not too pleased either, but finally blurts out the truth, she’s his mom. Wondering why she never said anything or didn’t look for him, she says that when Cande started working there, she didn’t know for awhile that he was her son and she never looked for him because she wanted to leave the past in the past. She tells him that she was too poor when she had him, and that if she kept him, she never would have gotten to where she is today. He calls her on it, saying that she traded her son for money. She tells him to stuff it, hasn’t he been happy with Cande in that neighborhood. He says, yes, I have been happy, because in that neighborhood we have something better than money, something that she will never have (since you can’t buy it in a store), values, feelings and heart. Leo’s not done yet though, then he tells Miriam that Thanks be to God, that she abandoned him, so that he could find out what a real mother acts like. Then he compares himself with Joselyn and how much better his life turned out. As he leaves, he asks who his father is…but she doesn’t tell him. He leaves and she cries.

Otilia visits Cande to see how Leo is doing, and (oops!) ends up spilling the beans about Elsa not working for her anymore. Cande goes to ask Elsa about it. Elsa has a little fit that Cande prefers everyone else to her and doesn’t support her, her real daughter. Wah wah wah.

Pau tells JC that she wants to find out who her real mom is.

Gabe is flashing back again (apparently he doesn’t believe in Miriam’s philosophy of leaving the past in the past) and whining how much he loves MA, and how much he misses her.

Safari Prey Joselyn (kind of like Malibu Barbie) comes in to find out how Miriam is, but really just wants to make sure she doesn’t anything stupid…like share anything with Leo. Jossie tells her mom that she doesn’t have any feelings, so this shouldn’t be a problem.

Cande’s worried about Leo, who arrives and tells her that he knows the truth about Miriam. He tells her all about it and they cry and hold each other. He tells her that she’s his real, only mom and that Miriam is just an old selfish bitch. (well okay, he didn’t say that, but he wanted to.)

Gabe, JC & Pau are chatting about the recent arson that affected Leo. JC thinks it was probably his dad. JC visits Leo (who is now limping around like House) and Leo tells him all about his mommy and how confused he is. JC offers his help & support and they give each other a big ole hug.

Delores and Tiberio are having coffee. Tiberio forgot to take his medication that morning and is acting very paranoid. Dude, maybe coffee’s not such a good idea.

Cande goes to confront Miriam. Actually she just went to pour some salt into Miriam’s wounds, telling her that Leo loves her more. It kind of sounded like a playground fight there for awhile (nyah nyah nyah nyah nahhhhh), Miriam probably just wanted to stick her tongue out at Cande as she walked out the door.

Continuing in the family reunion theme, Leo goes to chat with sissy, who doesn’t really know what to do or say. He offers to be her big brother and she opens the door for him to get the heck out. My tivo ended there.

Labels: mundo

Marcia calls Fern in N.Y. to demand an explanation of why his picture is in Lety’s office. She says she knows he ordered Omar to do it. She is especially ticked off that Omar cut her out of the picture. Fern swears that did not tell Omar to cut Marcia out of his life. Marcia calls them both infantile. She says she knows he still loves Lety. She slams the phone down, which leaves him so aggravated that he is tempted to throw his cell phone into the water behind him. He regains his composure and kisses the phone, apparently remembering that it is his only link to Lety while he is in N.Y.

He immediately calls Omar [did you marvel at how easily he was able to dial the number even with his leather gloves on? I did!] Fern yells at him over the dumb plan, and moreover for getting caught by Marcia. Omar says he only agreed to take part in this idiotic scheme because he is worried about Aldo’s intentions with the company. Besides, what did Fern expect when he gave Omar his instructions at 5 in the morning? Fern tells Omar that he has a fancy new phone, and for the benefit of us who don’t know how advanced these new-fangled contraptions are, he explains that he can receive emails, pictures, etc. on it. He orders Omar to send him a picture of Lety. Omar agrees to do so but hopes Fern has purchased anti-gargoyle-virus software for the phone.

Omar sneaks into conference room with his camera. He listens at Lety’s door but doesn’t hear her comment to herself about how stupid he is for planting Fern’s picture there. Aldo stops by to visit Lety. As he walks in, Lety suavely places the fruit basket he gave her earlier on top of Fern’s photocopied picture on her desk. As they chat, Omar reaches over the doorframe with his camera and takes picture from above the door [I guess that’s supposed to be a window above the door between the presidential office and the conference]. Aldo presents an oral dissertation on mole. He pitches idea of asking Julieta to help with mole preparation. Lety loves the idea. They continue to talk and Aldo picks up basket to ask why she hasn’t eaten the fruit. He sees the photo under the basket and mutters “Fern Mendiola… Fernando Mendiola…Grrr…” Lety explains Omar the Imbeciles’ practical joke. Aldo wonders why on earth Omar would do that.

We get scenes of N.Y. Fern walks along thinking that when he gets back he will definitely show Lety how much he loves her. He thinks they should be walking here hand--in-hand, enjoying N.Y. together. He sits on some steps and thinks that he should get her a gift that will show her how he feels -- something spiritual, or perhaps he should write her a letter… no, he decides a letter is a bad, bad, bad idea. In any case, he is determined that seguramente (surely; without a doubt) he will prove his love when he returns.

A weird scene follows where he walks through a small crowd of people. One of the women remarks that he is a beautiful man. The rest of the group laughs at this and he walks away anxiously. Huh? What the heck was that about?

He hails a cab, and so does a new mysterious woman. She’s beautiful and wears a trendy cap. They argue about who needs the cab more. They discover they are both Mexican and switch their arguing from English to Spanish. He explains that he must get to a meeting and the future of his company depends on it, etc., etc. The cabbie yells at them to get in. A double-decker bus with a big colorful “MEXICO” sign which I recognize from the Mexico tourism ads passes by [what a coincidence… NOT!]. Anyway, the new girl wants to share the cab with him. Fern looks at her like a recovering alcoholic might look at a big bottle of whiskey just sitting on the shelf and no one around to stop him from taking a swig… in other words, he knows better stay away from her. He politely walks her over to another cab and directs her into it. As he walks back to his own cab, she calls him neurotic. He yells back “Yeah, welcome to N.Y.!” The girl marvels at his lusciousness and prays, “Oh please God give me that man, I want him for me. He’s neurotic but he’s so cute! Oh well I’ll never see him again.”

Omar emails Fern a picture of Lety looking very uncomfortable.

Lety tells Aldo she thinks Omar just planted the picture just to bug her, and he succeeded.

Omar talks to a client, who can not meet with him because he is at a golf tournament. Omar says he will find a solution and call him back. He hangs up and ponders whether Fern would kill him if he went to left the office to go waaaay over to wherever the tournament is to get the contract signed.

Aldo continues to flirt with Lety in her office and Omar sneaks in. They are standing too close for Omar’s comfort and he interrupts them. He tells Aldo he would like to Aldo to go with him right now to meet some clients. Aldo accepts. After Omar leaves Aldo tell Lety he only agreed to go because he wants to figure out what’s going on in Aldo’s puny little mind.

In the cab, Fern receives Lety’s picture via his cool new phone. He shows the picture to the cabbie. The cabbie remarks that she is beautiful, he can tell she has a beautiful soul. Fern, who is not used to this kind of reaction he shows Lety’s picture to others, is visibly pleased. He exclaims “Man I like you already!” [inEnglish!!] The cabbie warns Fern that she’s going to drive him crazy. Fern replies that actually, he’s already crazy-- crazy for her! [Okay, stop and rewind to enjoy Fern speaking English in his irresistable Mexican accent again; stop; rewind; stop; rewind... sigh!]

Tomas gives Marcia the tickets and stuff she needs for the trip. Marcia scolds him and says that because of him she had a nasty run-in with Lety. Not realizing Tomas is already in Marcia’s office, Alicia walks in to tell Marcia that he is back. Tomas excuses himself. Alicia begs again for Marcia’s car. After much dramatic griping, Marcia agrees and hands over the keys. She says she is lending Alicia the car on the condition that she keep her informed of Lety’s activities, especially if she (Lety) leaves the country. Marcia walks out and Alicia kisses Tomas’s phone and Marcia’s keys. She begs God to never let her be poor again.

Fern is on the phone with Omar again. He sits at a fountain and thanks Omar for sending the picture. He is very pleased with it. Omar remarks that he knows love is blind, but never he knew just how much! He reports that he walked in on Lety and Aldo in her office, and that he had to “throw water on them to separate them.” [His choice of imagery gets more and more repulsive, what a talent!] He says he plans to become friends with Aldo in order to find out his intentions.

Aldo walks into the vortex and everyone jumps at the chance to fawn all over him. Luigi invites him to lunch, and so does Alicia. Aldo says he would love to go with both of them, but he has a business lunch to go to. He walks away with Omar and everyone waves goodbye and throw kisses at him.

Tomas sneaks up on Alicia to invite her to lunch. Alicia agrees but suddenly remembers she’s having lunch with her dad. Tomas senses that she is lying to him.

Lety calls mom to tell her about Aldo’s mole idea. She’s honored and excited. The cuartel walks in and yells greetings into the phone. Lety hangs up and agrees to lunch with her friends. Meanwhile, at home, Erasmo is ticked that Julieta accepted the job without consulting with him.

In the downstairs lobby, Alicia asks Saimon if he has any snacks. Tomas walks in and asks if she’s reconsidered his lunch offer. Alicia admits that she lied because she does not want to be seen in public with him. Celso walks by with Sanson and a box of dog biscuits. Alicia’s mouth waters. Tomas tells her that if she eats with him, she will get a better lunch than dog biscuits. He offers to order food to be delivered so they can eat there at the office.

Lety and the cuartel go to an open air restaurant. They ask for the gossip about the fight between Aldo and Fern. They guess that the second man that the PG was talking about is Aldo and demand that Lety confirm this.

Fern sits in an empty meeting room and looks at Lety’s picture. He talks into his phone, pretending to do a talk show, and rehashes to himself, “Here I am in N.Y.. I met a gorgeous woman, and promptly put her in another cab. I don’t need the temptation… Well my friends, until next time…” Impressed with himself, he remarks that he should have been a deejay.

Aldo and Omar sit down at a restaurant and share a toast. Aldo savors his wine while Omar gulps his down. Omar starts to question Aldo about his taste in women… does he like them blonde or dark? Aldo says he’d rather talk about business. Omar says he forgot the business documents. He tells Aldo he seems very nice and intelligent, and that they could be excellent friends. He complains about his friendship with Fern, and all the stuff he’s had to do for Fern since they were kids. He says Fern is unstable. Aldo asks Omar to honest, he knows the business meeting was a pretext to get him here, and ask what Omar really wants. Just then two women walk in and recognize Omar.

Fern tells people at the meeting that he was late because of the argument with the woman over the cab. Just then the same woman walks into the meeting room. His jaw drops. They introduce her as Karla, the publicity agent who has been assigned to his account. He smiles uncomfortably [be strong, Fern!]. She asks him to explain his project. He gets excited and says they are going to love this idea. He begins to pull out papers haphazardly from his case and makes a big mess on the table.

The two pretty women join Omar and Aldo at their table. They try to converse with Aldo, but he gets a call and walks away to answer it. The women tell Omar that he was right, Aldo is guapisimo. Omar tells them he had to use the pretext of a business meeting with clients to get him to come. Aldo returns and says they should order because in a hurry to return to work.

The cuartel is relentlessly trying to get some juicy gossip from , Lety, but she refuses. Irmita defends Lety’s right to keep it to herself. They ask to know just one thing-- what did Fern and Aldo came to blows about. She says it was about work. They don’t believe it. Lety finally agrees to tell them. She says, “They fought over me. They are both in love with me, Leticia Padilla Solis!”

Will the cuartel believe Lety?
Will Fernando keep away from Karla, or will he fall off the wagon?
Will Alicia eat lunch and bust out of her outfit? ... And if that happens, will Tomas be lucky enough to be around to see it?

Labels: fea

OK--I've volunteered to do Zorro recaps. I don't know how often they'll be done, but I'll at least get a weekly recap done. If anyone else would like to help recap this novela, I'm willing to work on a team. I recapped Wed. episode, just to give it a trial run and to see how long it takes me. I cannot promise that future recaps will be this long. I'm going to try to condense, in terms of words and time. Of course, I've been known to take a short story and make it long---I'll try to overcome that tendency. So hopefully I'll get better at all of this. Anyway, on with the show....

Esmerelda faints at the news that tomorrow she'll be wed to Cmdr. Montero (weasel face-as coined by someone else in an earlier post) and that Montero's duel with Diego (aka Zorro) will convene at dawn.

Meanwhile back at the ranch....Alejandro and Diego de la Vega are visited by Maria Pia who informs them that there will be no duel and that Diego and Esme will be getting Fernando’s approval to marry once she fixes some things. Alejandro is worried that Montero won’t take the news very well. He reminds Diego and MP that although Fernando is the governor, Montero is the head of the military and with the army behind him Montero could cause a lot of problems. Diego is quite happy that he’s going to be able to marry Esme, but worries that Maria Pia looks sad. She assures him not to worry and that she has fixed things with Fernando because there is no one she cares for more than her sobrino, Diego.

Upstairs at the governor’s house, Esme has been taken there after she fainted. Her aunt (cannot remember her name), Mariangel (her sister) , and Montero are all hovering around her bed. Esme’s tia sends the other two away as she takes care of Esme. When Esme revives she and her tia discuss what happened with Maria Pia. They both were sure that she would be able to convince Fernando to stop the duel and allow Diego and Esme to marry. Esme wants to know why her father hates her so.

Meanwhile, downstairs Fernando (eye patch man/governor) is busy getting drunk and moaning that if he cannot be happy no one should be happy. Montero comes down from Esme’s room and Fernando starts rehashing things with Cmdr. Montero. Right now, Fernando doesn’t think that Maria Pia will live up to her end of the bargain, so tomorrow’s wedding is still on in his mind. He tells Montero that once he is married to Esme she will be his problem, yadda, yadda, yadda. Montero says he’ll tame Esme and she’ll be a most dutiful wife (he’s a pig). He changes subjects and tells Fernando that we will soon know the true identity of Zorro, but doesn’t give too many details on his plans.

Cut to Maria Pia praying to God, asking for forgiveness for what she is about to do. She tells God that Fernando can have her body, but that her soul will always belong to God. I’m not quite sure what God thinks about this. Immediately after her prayer we get a scene w/ MP and Fernando getting it on. That was quite quick, but wait it is a dream. And the sick thing is, it wasn’t either Fernando’s or Maria Pia’s dream, it was Sister Suplicious (sp?), the psycho sister or nutty nun—take your pick. She wakes up with a start and feels guilty for thinking of MP that way. Nutty Nun goes to find MP and confesses to her about her dream. MP is a little freaked out considering the conversation she just had with God. Nutty Nun tells MP that there has been some chisme in the convent about the fact that Maria Pia and Fernando used to be engaged a long time ago. She also tells MP that the voice she heard the other night in the convent was Fernando’s voice. Maria Pia tells Nutty Nun that she’s going out for the evening to take care of family business. She needs to go see her hermano, Alejandro.

Back to Fernando. He’s still drinking and moaning that he feels nothing without Maria Pia. He pulls out his pistol stating that he would give his life for her, but then doesn’t follow through.

Meanwhile, back at casa de los de la Vega, Alejandro and Diego are visited by Montero’s lieutenant Pizzaro (truly an evil man, IMO). He brings news of the duel that it will begin tomorrow at dawn outside the city. Brilliantly, Diego and Alejandro deduce that MP was unable to convince Fernando to bring an end to the whole thing. Diego isn’t concerned the whole thing can go as planned, after all he’s got a secret weapon---he is really El Zorro.

In the local bar, the hunchback Olmos meets with the prissy Tobias. He knows that Tobi is going to contact some people back in Spain to see if he can get a lead on Zorro’s identity (apparently Zorro’s style of swordplay is very distinct and there is only one teacher who teaches that style). Olmos tells Tobi that he’s there for the governor, that Fernando wants to know Zorro’s identity and is willing to pay handsomely for the information. Tobi likes the idea of being a private dick (he’s got the second part of that down pat already). He and Olmos, after agreeing on a sum, toast their new friendship.

Maria Pia doesn’t go to see Alejandro, instead she goes to Fernando’s. She tells him that she’s willing to sleep with him in order to save Diego. At first Fernando tells her that it will no longer be easy to call off the duel, that it will cause a lot of problems---he is unwilling to have Montero as an enemy and that’s what would happen if Fernando takes back his permission for Montero to marry Esmerelda. However, the idea of having a booty call with Maria Pia is too much to resist. So he agrees to stop the duel and allow Esme and Diego to marry. He and MP agree to meet at their old meeting place, some cabin in the woods, the next evening at 8. As MP leaves Fernando’s house, we see the Nutty Nun hiding behind a tree. She is distressed that MP lied to her and that she is meeting with Fernando.

There is some conversation between Olmos and Fernando. Fer tells Olmos that everything has changed and Olmos waxes poetic about love (our little hunchback has a big time crush on Fer’s other daughter,Mariangel---so me-thinks he’s referring to her during his ode).

Flash to Tobias and his horny wife, Catalina. Tobias is busy writing his letters to Spain and completely misses his wife’s overtures for them to get busy. This man is so prissy and completely oblivious to his wife.

Back at los de la Vega, Yumali (the whitest looking Indian I’ve ever seen) is praying for Alejandro. She is indebted to him because he saved her from being caught by Fernando and he helped her recover from her gunshot wound.***A little back story, she attempted to kill Fernando, the governor and Alejandro’s best friend, because he used to practice genocide on the local Indian population. Fer is responsible for killing Yumali’s sister and brother. Her sister, is Diego’s mother. Back then, Fer lost his eye during this encounter. So his hatred for Indians grew even stronger. He doesn’t understand why Alejandro protects them, but hasn’t figured out that the woman that Alejandro recently had baptized is the same one who tried to kill him recently***Anyway, Yumali is concerned because she knows that Alejandro is planning on marrying Esme’s aunt (who’s name I cannot remember). She doesn’t like the fact that Alejandro’s fiancée is Fernando’s sister. Also, she’s got the hots for Alejandro, so there’s some jealousy there.

Outside the house a black-caped figure sneaks inside, climbing over the side of the balcony. The figure goes into Diego’s room where he is sleeping, and brandishes a sword. Diego wakes up and takes on the intruder, only to find that it is Esme. The two play kissy face and rehash what’s happening/not happening with the duel. They get interrupted by Dolores, Diego’s former nanny and current housekeeper, she had heard from Yumali that Diego and Montero’s duel was to go ahead as scheduled. She is very concerned about how well Diego will perform in the duel, but now she wants to know what’s going on between Diego and Esme. Although she’s never met Esme, she knows who she is just by the look in Diego’s eyes (and she’s obviously bothered that Esme is in Diego’s bedroom). Dolores tells them she wants to know everything and orders them downstairs for tea and food. The three of them rehash the duel status---which I can no longer remember where it stands for all of them, but I think they think Maria Pia will be able to convince Fernando to stop the duel and allow the D&E nuptials to take place (MP already has convince Fernando, but I’m not sure if they know that yet).

Elsewhere in the house, Yumali has decided that she needs to see Alejandro, so she sneaks into his room and starts to caress him as he sleeps. He wakes up and the two get busy. Alejandro calls Yumali “Regina”, the name of his dead wife-mother of Diego. Startled, he pushes Yumali away and tells her this isn’t right. He’ s her godfather and also her employer. He also reminds her that he is an engaged man, he is going to marry Esme’s aunt (I don’t remember her name---IDRHN). Yumali warns him that IDRHN has bad blood, since she is the governor’s sister. Al sends Yumi out and she tells him that his mouth says “no”, but his body says “yes” (or perhaps that’s what I thought she should say, I no longer remember, but none-the-less the comment is fitting for this scene).

So whilst all of this is going on, Mariangel (Esme’s redheaded half sister) sneaks out of the governor’s house to go have a romp with Montero. These two have tangled in the sheets before and during this episode they are getting busy on the desk in Montero’s office at the prison. MA wants to talk about the duel, hoping she can get Montero to call the whole thing off. He’s a little ticked that she’s bringing up Diego’s name in the middle of their love making session.***Side note, Mariangel wants to marry Diego because he is rich and attractive. I also think a side benefit is that her sister loves Diego, so it would be a way to hurt Esme because Mariangel hates her.****MA asks Montero to be noble and call off the duel, but Montero says no. So MA makes a veiled threat….that if something were to happen to Diego, then something might just happen to Esme too.

So, back at the governor’s house with both daughters having sneaked out, drunk Fernando is tucked into bed by his sister, IDRHN. She goes on about how he used to be more carefree and less vile. That they had such a wonderful childhood. Even though he has changed, she still loves him.

Now it is morning and Montero is waiting for Diego at the duel site. Fernando shows up and tells Montero that there will be no duel, as dueling is against the law. He says he has also dispatched men to Diego’s home to keep him from breaking the law. Fernando tells Montero that Esme isn’t worth it and that Fernando has decided to allow Diego and Esme to marry. This really ticks Montero off and since Fernando has gone back on his word, Montero starts waving his sword at Fernando. Fernando, not one to play it clean, kicks Montero in his wounded arm and their duel begins. END OF SHOW

Just a couple of things to know about this show:
1. Diego has a servant Bernardo, who is mute and plays deaf so he can gather info
2. So far the priest, Bernardo and Esme are the only ones who know that Diego is really Zorro
3. Alejandro thinks that Diego is a bit of a wimp, because Diego really plays that up in order to keep his daytime identity even more removed from Zorro
4. Mariangel was rescued by Zorro and she’s got her eye on him, not for marriage but for other recreational activities
5. Esme’s mother is being held prisoner in Montero’s prison. She is a gypsy queen and currently is wearing what is supposed to be an iron mask, but it looks like it’s made out of paper mache
6. Yumali has a special gift with animals, and helped cure Alejandro’s sick horse Quixote
7. Maria Pia broke her engagement to Fernando because she knows he killed Diego's mother, Regina...Dolores is the only other person who knows this (I think)

Labels: Zorro

Agent Ruiz asked Alina, "Is it true that Alvaro Montellano abused you physically and mentally, forcing you to be in this place?"

Alvaro, aka Don Loco, glared at Alina, then took her hands and told her to answer the senor, adding to Alina's surprise that her mother had been certified insane.

After musing that Don Loco would carry out his threats against her mother if she told the truth, Alina said, "I am here because I like it." Agent Ruiz asked why Blanca had accused Don Loco. Alvaro laughed and said Blanca was after revenge because Elias had always loved Soledad. He told Agent Ruiz he'd go with him to see Blanca.

When Blanca (being dead) didn't answer their knock at her door, Agent Ruiz told Alvaro he wouldn't pursue charges against him because he didn't have any proof.

Alvaro went home to Soledad and they accused each other of being insane. (Alvaro: "You are insane, insane, insane!" Soledad: "I know you are, but what am I?") Alvaro won the argument by calling Soledad a "damn traitor."

Elsewhere, hairy disgraced psychiatrist Dr. Z (I don't remember his full name) told Dr. Vasquez that Alvaro was sick with celotipia (jealousy) which made men aggressive against women "and often ends in death."

Meanwhile, Soledad cowered on her bed, crying, "Don't hit me, don't touch me!" Alvaro looked guilty and said, "It was my fault. Forgive me. I'm an animal." He said he didn't want to make her feel bad, adding, "Blanca deserved death."

Soledad asked what he'd done to Blanca. Don Loco said, "Me, nothing, but it's better you know your accomplice is dead." Soledad cried and told herself that he had killed Blanca and would kill her too.

At the club: Edelmira gave Alina a cup of tea, claiming it would calm her nerves. Alina went to her room, collapsed on her bed, and told Coral, "Edelmira gave me something." Coral said, "I have an idea," and started to whisper.

At the cave: Luba prayed for help for Flor. Gaspar arrived, beaming, and said he was hungry. Pleased, Luba asked if he liked Nora. Gaspar said, "I like her a lot. But I can't forget the child I'm expecting with my little doll."

Alina sneaked out of Edelmira's club while everyone was watching something else (that was Coral's big plan??) She reeled around the countryside, saying, "Ay, Tonqui, I feel very bad," then passed out.

Suddenly a jaguar showed up. (The same one that chased Gaspar? How did it know Alina passed out? It must be a psychic jaguar.) Tonqui started barking at it.

Emilio rode up, shouting Alina's name. (He must be psychic, too, because I didn't see anyone tell him Alina had left Edelmira's club.) Seeing the jaguar, he yelled, "Calm down, Tonqui!" and took off his jacket and shirt (revealing an undershirt), paused to put his jacket back on (because a hero has to look good while saving girls from jaguars), then somehow attached the shirt to a stick and set it on fire, creating a torch to fend off the jaguar. (Why didn't he just use his gun? Never mind.)

When the jaguar was gone, he cradled Alina in his arms and said, "Alina, wake up! It's me, Emilio!"

Orlando, disappointed not to find Alina drugged in her bed, went to Edelmira and said, "She escaped!" He set out on horseback to find her and encountered Emilio, also on horseback, with the unconscious Alina.

They yelled at each other, Orlando told Emilio that Flor didn't love him, Emilio rode off with Flor, Orlando looked after them and called Emilio an idiot. The usual.

Thelma went to Castulo's room. He greeted her, "Hola, preciosa," kissed her, then said it was too dangerous to stay there. He took her to Jose's cabin. They were in bed together when Emilio arrived with Alina (what a coincidence!)

Thelma escaped without being seen and Castulo greeted Emilio, who put Alina on the miraculously remade bed. Orlando asked what Castulo was doing there. Castulo claimed he came to the cabin when he wanted to be alone, adding that it used to belong to Jose Gomez. "They say he was Flor's father."

Like a shiny object, this information was enough to distract Emilio from his questions. Castulo left, caught up with Thelma outside, and said he would take her back to the hacienda.

Emilio kissed Alina, who woke up and asked, "What are you doing?" Emilio said, "I brought you here because you felt bad," kiss kiss, "forgive me." Alina asked, "You're making fun of me, right?" Kiss kiss. Emilio said, "This isn't right. It's better that I go." He paused long enough to tell her it was Jose's cabin, then left.

In Don Loco's office: Don Loco told Sergio that Blanca was dead. Sergio asked if Don Loco killed her. Alvaro said no, "I'm not a common murderer."

Orlando the Snake showed up to see Don Loco and announced, "Emilio Valtierra decided to save Flor. Who knows where he took her."

They had a drink together. Orlando said he would find out where Emilio had taken Alina, then tell Don Loco. Alvaro said, "There must be rivalry between you and the captain," and added that he wouldn't let Emilio or anyone else protect Alina.

At the cave: Gaspar told himself, "I like Nora's kisses," then remembered his encounter with Thelma at the Devil's Cave and thought, "But my little doll is having my child."

He told Luba, "I don't know what to do now. I have two women." When Luba tried to argue with him, he said, "You don't understand me, Mama!" Luba worried about how to make him forget Thelma and the child.

At Jose's cabin, Alina pondered, "This is where he wrote the letter that caused all the problems." She wondered who the letter was intended for, then searched the cabin for clues, but didn't find anything. She asked, "Where are you, Jose Gomez?" then spotted a statue of the Virgin Mary and prayed, "Make this man come back to Sierra Escondida and tell my father the whole truth."

Emilio went to see Luba and told her where to find Alina. Luba woke Gaspar up and said, "We're going for Flor," then fretted that they couldn't bring her back to the cave because if Alvaro found her there he would kill them.

Back at home, Emilio encountered Thelma, who told him she had felt the baby move for the first time. Reluctantly he touched her belly and said he felt it, too. Thelma said, "It makes me happy that you're begining to adjust." Emilio muttered to himself, "I'm going to be a father and I can't understand it."

Angel went to see Edelmira, who told him Emilio had rescued Flor.

Luba and Gaspar visited Alina at the cabin. Luba urged, "You have to escape!" Alina asked, "With what money?" Luba said, "I have the money the patron gave me for taking care of you!"

Alina said she was a coward and didn't dare confront her father. She asked Luba to take Tonqui back to the cave and feed him. Luba told her that Tonqui was loyal and could be trusted, unlike Emilio, then left with Tonqui and Gaspar.

Back at the cave, Luba told Gaspar to bring Alina breakfast in the morning and not let anyone see him. Gaspar said sulkily, "I'm angry with you, Mama," because she didn't understand that he was having a child with his munequita.

Luba said, "I only want you to forget this so nothing bad happens to you. I adore you, son. You are everything to me."

Orlando confronted Emilio and asked where he'd taken Alina. Emilio said angrily that he knew Orlando had paid to have Flor. Orlando claimed he only wanted to help Alina, that he was worried for Emilio. So Emilio told Orlando where Alina was (duh!!!)

Orlando advised Emilio to dedicate himself to Thelma and the baby. Just then Angel arrived and demanded, "What have you done with Alina?"

Emilio asked if Angel still wanted to marry Alina. Angel said it was what he wanted most. So Emilio told him where Alina was. Way to keep a secret, Captain! Emilio added that Luba was going to fetch Flor. Angel, showing the common sense his brother lacks, said it wasn't safe for Alina to return to Luba's cave.

Meanwhile, Soledad told Alvaro what a terrible person he was. Alvaro said, "I didn't kill anyone. You have to control your nerves. Take this pill."

Soledad tried to refuse, but he forced her, then said, "That's better, you obey me. It's better that you do what I say." After he left, Soledad cried, "What is this? What is this?

At the end of the episode, drunken old Jeremias decided to pay a visit to Jose's very popular cabin and found Alina there. He leered at her and said, "Look what's here! What a treasure I've found!"

Words from this episode:
celotipia = jealousy
vulgar = common
asesino = murderer

Labels: duelo

We begin today with a recap of yesterday's finale, in which Max, in a really ugly tight blue sweater of some sort, confronts the evil Octave, who is still in her "jaunty" nautical-themed Love Boat attire. "Did you steal F/G's fortune?" Octave wants to know how he could even conceive of such a hare-brained idea, deftly avoiding the question. Max tells her Diana's attorney told him.

Back to Luscious Lunkhead's room where Rene is asking him about "the servant" Larry's married to. Larry gets cranky and defends Little Doormat, saying her name is Gaby and she doesn't deserve the pain she's suffered. Rene, in his usual grandiose hand gestures, tells Luscious Lunkhead that LL is obviously in love with his wife and but too dense to even know it. Doe-eyed look from LL.

F/G, still in her red polka-dot dress, with the bizarre black velvet cabbage-sized flower around her neck, is turning down the bed for Dimwit Diana, who looks dazed as usual. F/G tells DD she needs to rest after her busy day. DD is going to need all her strength for tomorrow. F/G kisses Diana on the forehead. "Your kiss is like that of a mother," exclaims Diana. Heart-warming music plays in the background.

Now we're in Diego's room at the hospital where Pancho is at Diego's side. Diego-the-Stalker wants to know where Diana is. Pancho says she went home to rest. Diego asks, "Is it true I'll never walk again?" Alas, Pancho says it's true, "but don't worry, I will always be at your side." Heart-tugging violins play in the background as Diego says all he wants is Diana.

RM is back in her bed after dinner. She tells Isabel that the therapy is taking too long, to which Isabel replies therapy is a slow process. "Isn't there something else we can do?" I—"Well, there is a hospital in Houston that caters to people in similar conditions. They have special equipment that provides electrical currents and warmth, which expedites the healing process." ***Why on earth this hasn't been brought up before is beyond me. We've already established RM has a ton of money in the bank and could probably afford to buy the Houston clinic if she wanted.*** The good news is that there was no mewling in this scene. Yippee!

Max is still confronting Octave, with a busty red-acetate-robed FM in the background, arms folded in such a way as to offer maximum cleavage. Yolanda makes the mistake of walking into the room at this point. Octave tells Max to ask his aunt about the kind of trash F/G is. F/G even murdered her own husband! "Is it true? asks Max. Yolanda is impactada.

F/G has now returned to Paco's bar, still in her best wedding-guest attire. She tells Paco she can't perform after all the trauma of the day. "No hay problema" says Paco. F/G goes on to proudly state how she told Max what a low-life, scum-sucking, sea-hag his mother is. "I'm sure right now Max has a thousand questions for his mum. I'm sure she'll deny everything, but at least I've planted the seed of doubt." Paco is saddened by F/G's all-consuming hatred of Octave.

The scene among Max, Octave and Yolanda continues, with Octave laying it on thick and heavy to Max, and wanting Yolanda to back up her story. Yolanda hems and haws and finally, vaguely states that F/G was sent to prison for killing her husband. Octave tells Max that F/G was her best friend, but that F/G stole Octave's husband. Max orders Yolanda to tell him the truth, not what his mom is coercing her to say. Yolanda "ums, and ahs" to the point where Max FINALLY catches a clue as to what's happening. At this point the scene shifts to RM and Isabel.

RM is telling Isabel that they both need to go to Houston and rent an apartment. RM has more than enough money for them to stay there for an extended period and get all the therapy she needs. Isabel can be her personal slave—I mean assistant. Further, if Isabel goes with her, Isabel will get a healthy stipend for her efforts. Isabel seems to be digging this idea.

Little Doormat and Diana are having girl-talk in their room. Little Doormat tells Diana that Max came to the hospital but F/G prevented him from seeing Diana. Gaby goes on to tell Diana that F/G tore Max a new orifice about what a lying sack of. . . his mother is. Gaby mentioned F/G being in jail. Diana says, "speaking of jail, there something I've been meaning to tell you. Our mother is apparently in jail." A bucket of foreshadowing is introduced.

And we're back to a continuation of the scene between Max and Octave. Even FM finally walks off in disgust. Octave says she took over the perfume company when F/G went to jail. Max accuses her of stealing the company and Octave counters it's the perfume company that has made them rich. Max, as expected, states he'd rather be poor and how ashamed he is of his mother. After Max leaves Yolanda and Octave discuss Octave's confession. Octave smugly points out that Max only knows the partial truth; he has no idea F/G was innocent and that F/G's husband was killed by his father.

Gaby wants to know why Diana thinks their mother is in jail, since Granny M has always maintained their parents were dead. Diana tells Gaby she heard it from a neighbor. Gaby wants to know what mom did; Diana doesn't know. "When I asked Granny M, Granny M repeated our parents were dead, but acted really nervous." G—"Do you think Granny M is hiding something from us?" D—"I do."

FM is gossiping to Bruno about the confrontation between Max and Octave. "Octave is a thief! Imagine that!" FM apparently now thinks Octave is her hero. FM also thinks there's some other skeletons lurking in one of the thousands of closets at Psycho Mansion.

Octave and Yolanda show up in F/G's room at Paco's Bar. Lots of posturing. Fiera v. Fiera while poor Yolanda cowers behind Octave. Each tells the other "You're in BIG trouble now." Of course that's not exactly what is said, but you get the idea. F/G and Octave each tell the other to be afraid, and that the other one will be going to jail forever. F/G asks Yolanda if she's afraid; Yolanda is quaking in her boots. Octave, of course, can't be intimidated. Octave is clearly a Joselyn wanna-be.

We are treated to an airborne Rene launching himself at a leather sofa while Larry looks on. Larry has on his tight olive t-shirt, but has now added an extremely dorky-looking camouflage hat. Lunkhead is telling Rene that Pilar wants to get married and he should probably find an attorney to talk to Gaby. He can't face her after he's treated her so badly. He's "Oh so confused!" Rene, in his usual effusive way, thinks it would be a huge mistake to marry Pilar. Pilar is a liar. Despite replaying the scene several times, I can't tell if Rene thinks Larry should be with Gaby or not. Can anyone out there help me with this?

After Rene leaves, Lunkhead calls Little Doormat, who is curled up on the sofa, crying and looking completely forlorn. She's whispering Larry's name when the phone rings. Speak of the devil. . .Larry says "Soy yo, Larry." Little Doormat is impactada.

Lots of predatory circling in F/G's room, with Yolanda begging to leave. Yolanda wants no part of this cozy little scene. Enough said. . .

FM shows up in Max's room to stir the pot about his mother's admission. She wants to get a drink, a Screwdriver. Max looks surprised. "You've always detested vodka!" Oops!

Lunkhead and Little Doormat are on the phone. Gaby wants to know why he's calling. "Is it to talk about us?" L—"Yes. Pilar wants to get married." Gaby tells Larry that Pilar doesn't love him. In fact, the day he sent Gaby to get his cell phone, Gaby caught Pilar in bed with Kike. "Why didn't you tell me?" asks Larry. "Because I didn't want to see you hurt. However, if you love her and want to marry her despite all that has happened. I'll sign the divorce papers." Gaby hangs up on Lunkhead, and you can see the hamster running overtime on its little wheel in Larry's head. "Gaby? Gaby? " I guess Larry was in the "Hot Bods" line when the brains were passed out.

F/G v. Octave continues. Come on now, we get the idea. Let's move on.. . . Dramatic music reaches a crescendo!

Max continues to press FM about her sudden change in drink preferences. FM makes some lame excuse. Max says he's noticed something different about her, but he can't quite put a finger on what it is. She looks the same but she's different some how. She even kisses differently. FM tries to blame it on the two-year coma, but Max is having difficulty accepting that excuse. FM tries to seduce him, but he's suddenly developed a headache. He stands there with his bathrobe open showing part of his bare chest. More gratuitous chest shots of all our young nubile/studly actors. FM says she'll be in the Jacuzzi if he's interested. She heads to the bathroom and starts freaking out that Max is going to figure out she's an impostor.

Gaby goes into the bedroom crying. Diana asks why and Gaby tells her about Larry's phone call asking for a divorce. Diana says F/G is right. "We need to take revenge on these Irascible boys for wreaking such havoc on our lives." Diana convinces Gaby to join the "I Don't Heart the Irascibles" club.

Next day at the only hospital in TeleMiami. Lala is sitting at Diego's side and stating she wants to make his favorite flan. Diego doesn't want flan. Diego wants Diana. "Why didn't she stay the night with me?" Dang, this guys creeps me out! Right on cue Diana arrives and Lala heads home to take a bath and change clothes. Right as Diana is asking Diego how his night went, in walks Doc Evil. Diego wants to know why he's there. Doc Evil replies that Diego is his patient. Diego gets himself worked up into a lather and accuses Doc Evil of paralyzing him.

Isabel tells RM that she's obtained all the information about the hospital in Houston. All they need to do is call and RM will be admitted. RM wants the call placed yesterday. Isabel asks if they should tell Bruno and Debora about their leaving. Absolutely not! "They'll find out when I confront them after I'm healed!"

Diego continues to be mad that Doc Evil is his physician.

Pilar and Larry are hiding out somewhere with lots of shrubbery around them. Larry has his purple shirt unbuttoned half way down his chest. Thank heavens he has ditched that ridiculous hat. Pilar tries to kiss Larry but he pushes her away. Pilar is back on the marriage bandwagon and wants to know why they have to continue to sneak around. Larry points out they can't exactly hang out at Psycho Mansion, mother wouldn't like that. Pilar continues to protest saying he needs to tell mommy he is divorcing the servant and marrying her, at which time Larry uses the spine he was given and says "I'm not going to marry you." He tells her he found out about her getting caught in bed with Kike right before the wedding. Pilar is impactada.

See above. Diego continues to be mad that Doc Evil is his physician. "Get me out of here right now!"

Max is at the office telling Emili-Oh that Octave is a thief. She stole the mansion, the factory, everything from F/G. Now F/G is turning Diana against him. "Oh, woe is me!"

Larry and Pilar are arguing. Pilar asks how Larry can take the word of a servant over her. Gaby is manipulating him. "What about Peyote?" asks Larry. "She confirmed what Gaby told me." Pilar tells Larry that Peyote was mistaken. Larry says the only manipulator around here is Pilar. "Gaby wouldn't lie. Gaby is pure". . .blah blah blah. Glycerine Tears of True Dolor are running down Luscious' cheeks.

Back to the hospital. Will this ever end? I meant to point this out earlier, but Diego's squawking about not being able to provide for his family reminds me. How are they going to explain Diana's baby now? Diego was paralyzed before their wedding night. I suppose it will come up sooner or later. This question is far more interesting to me than the actual conversation between the two of them, in which Diana says she will work and provide for both Diego and the baby. "A job won't be a problem now that I have been declared innocent."

Emili-Oh is telling Max he should go to the hospital and see Diana. M—"What if the big, bad, scary F/G is there?" Emili-Oh tells Max not to be an idiot again.

After some discussion about Diego wanting to leave the hospital to get away from Doc Evil, Diana tells F/G she's ready to the join the Vengeance club.

Diego and Diana are outside. Diego wants to know who shot him. Could it be Max? Diana says Max isn't capable of shooting anyone. Diego, in stalker mode, is furious. "Why are you defending him? Do you still love him? You do, don't you. Answer me!" ***News flash…how many different ways has Diana told Diego she doesn't love him, she still loves Max. Is Diego just now hearing what Diana's been saying for months? What a narcicist!***

Max, in a lavender shirt and tie, goes to visit Granny DS, also head to toe in lavender. Even the dolls are in lavender. All the lavender is distracting. Max and Granny DS discuss Diana and how sad they are that Diana is no longer a part of their lives.

More dull conversation between Diana and Diego. Diego is going to be the only father that Diana's baby is going to know. B-O-R-I-N-G!

FM walks up behind Max and throws her arms around him. She asks him what he's thinking. FM says to herself Max will never know Diana is having his child.

Pancho joins the family soirée on the patio. He wants to know why Diego left the hospital. Lala says Diego wanted to leave. Diana joins in saying she's a nurse and can care for him. Pancho, with furrowed brow, tells Diana if she ever leaves Diego for Max, he will personally kill her. Lala is impactada! Diana has that usual dumbstruck look.

Credits roll!

Labels: acorralada

We open with a reprise of the scene where Diana is questioning how Doc Evil, someone with a clear conflict of interest, could be doing the surgery on her beloved Diego. Doc Evil says why not? I’m one of the best doctors in Miami. (and the only doctor in TeleMiami, as Alex has pointed out). I am a professional. He is my patient (whose shooting he was celebrating only a minute ago).

Octavia is thinking again about Paco’s voice . . .

Doc Evil thought bubbles at the operating table . . . this operation is risky: I could leave him an invalid for life. (Yeah!) The scalpel, please.

In the waiting room at Hospital TM, the family gathers around. Pancho is blaming Diana for everything that happened. Paco and Gaviota tell him to stop, it’s very unjust.

FM stares at a drunken Max. Max has the same torpid expression asleep that he has when awake.

Paola is still wearing the spider web costume from the clearance rack at Frederick's of Hollywood. I notice there is a bad reproduction of a Miro painting in the room. Another masterpiece from the Irascibles' world-class art collection.

O wants Paola to go to rehab, because she is becoming a libertine. Paola says she’s tired of having to keep up appearances. She asks her mother, why do you treat me different from my brothers? Cut away before impactada Octavia can answer.

Back at the hospital Gaviota is also saying that Doc Evil should not perform the surgery.

At the little house, RM is trying to stand up in her wheelchair (silla de ruedas).

Now O answers Paola: Why are you asking such a stupid question? Well, mom, I never got a hug or a kiss, you never congratulated me on my school degree (or something having to do with school). I’m sure that Paola was another model student, like RM.

O thought bubbles: because you are a child of sin, and the only man I ever loved. Then she tells Paola not to waste her time.

Back at the hospital, Doc Evil tells everyone that there were two bullets and Diego is not going to be able to walk. There is a spinal cord injury.

Appropriately enough, we cut to RM, who now manages to stand up out of her chair. I did it, she shouts triumphantly. (“I can walk, mein fuhrer,” to quote Dr. Strangelove.) Oops, she falls down. Isabel tucks her in bed and warns her that she’s doing too much.

Cut to Doc Evil’s office, where Andres is lounging around on the couch. You get a good view of Doc Evil’s cheesy seventh grade anatomy illustrations. I've been meaning to comment on these. You know you're in a cheap production when they use these types of illustrations in a doctor's office.

Paola is now commiserating with Yolanda. Yolanda points out that Octavia is a very special character (understatement of the year). Paola asks Yolanda to hug her. Pobrecita.

Max now wakes up. FM calls him a drunk, but he says he had to drink to escape her shrieking. He has a point. She says she does it because she loves him so much. He says she is talking too much. I can’t live without you, she claims.

Back at the hospital, Diana goes into the room where Diego is on life support. You don’t deserve this, she says, crying. Gaviota tells her to be strong, not to cry, but she can’t accept it. Paco says they should go to the cafeteria to get a snack.

Lala is praying in the chapel and Pancho comes in. She is worried about how to tell Diego he can’t walk. They should break it to him gently. She begs Pancholon not to be hard on Diana, she says Diana cares for Diego. Pancho is still grumbling about how this would not have happened if not for Diana.

Caramelo calls the mansion to tell them that Lala can’t come to work. She actually says: “Is this the Irascible Mansion?” Max answers the phone. She tells him what happened. Betcha can't guess where he's going next.

Nancy cries over Diego. Naturally, she seems much more upset than Diana.

Max leaves the house and FM shrieks.

Diego is having a nightmare in his hospital bed. Nancy tells Diana to be strong.

Doc Evil laughs at Andres.

More boring blabber between Diana and Lala.

Yolanda begs Octavia to treat Paola better—the poor girl is falling into an abyss. O reminds her that she conceived the baby when her husband was on a business trip and she’s a product of sin, yada yada yada. O is losing patience and wants to throw Paola in the street, if I understood correctly. (P.S., I apologize for an error I think I made the last time this was mentioned. I thought she said she went on a business trip, but now it seems that she said the husband was on a business trip.)

Max now shows up at the ER. Gaviota calls him trash. No, you’re trash, he says. You were in prison. (hasn’t he learned anything yet?)

As usual, O asks FM where Max is. She should get a LoJack. FM tells her he’s drunk again, on account of that nurse.

Diego is waking up. Pancho continues to blame Diana right in Diego’s earshot. Way to go, bro. Lala tries to get him to stop. Diego wakes up. What’s going on? I can’t feel my legs! Where’s the rest of me? I heard shots and got a big pain in my back. I can’t feel or move my feet. I am paralyzed. Pancho, the soul of discretion, blurts out: You will never walk again!

Meanwhile, Gaviota and Max are trading insults. Yes, I was in prison too long, but I am not a killer. It was an injustice by the Irascibles. Your mother gave false evidence, she took everything. (I think she also said that O killed the husband.) You’re crazy, Max says. Yeah, I’m crazy with the injustice. Then you took Diana and Gaby. You’re ruining everything. Look, Lady, he says: You have no right . . .I like the way he resorts to high-handed classism. Muertas de hambre should never have the temerity to make accusations against their betters. Gaviota vows to get back everything and avenge the injustice. Gaviota tells him to leave. She doesn’t want him near Diana. Granny M wants to avoid a scandal.

Diego is railing at the long useless life that stretches before him in a wheelchair. He wants to die.

Nancy comes in to see O. O yells at her. I gave you two hours off for the wedding of that piano teacher, and you come in hours late. Nancy is crying bitterly. She says it’s terrible, that Diego was shot after the wedding by a masked man, etc. She cries hysterically. Is he dead, asks O? Stop crying. You’re acting like he’s your husband! Nancy says that he will be paralyzed for life. FM affects her gleeful look.

Rene comes in to see Lunkhead. We haven’t seen much of him for a few days. He is lounging on bed in his usual position, but this time his nether regions are clothed in jeans. He is wearing an odd green T shirt with embroidered gold dots. Rene tells Lunk that Paola is out cold in her bed. He asks if Lunk was thinking about Pilar. No, he was thinking of Gaby, of a kiss. You’re thinking of your wife, the sirvienta? Could be that you love her without realizing it?

Nancy tells O that by the way, Lala won’t be able to come to work for a few days. O dismisses the igualada. Now O and FM rejoice over the news. This development means that Diana will be out of Max’s life for good. She won’t dare leave her husband if he’s a cripple. She’ll have to stay with him and play the saintly wife. They cackle like two hens.

Back at the hospital, Lala wants to stay all night, and Diana says that she will stay. Pancho throws Diana out, and Lala scolds him.

FM and O continue their figurative high-fiving. That baratija Diana cannot steal Max. He’ll have to come back to his wife. “Baratija” is defined as “trinket,” but their tone implies a heaping helping of “muerta de hambre.” We should just start abbreviating it as MDH.

Max bursts in with a burning question on his lips: Tell me the truth, Ma. Did you steal the house, the fortune and the perfume factory? I want to know if you’re a thief. Cut to O’s shocked face, no surprise. It will be fun to see her squirm. Credits roll.

Labels: acorralada

Casa Soriano. Gaby’s making dinner, Diana answers the door. The String Quartet of Doom plays. Enter Max, come to apologize. He was an idiot, he admits it, etc. Close-up of Diana, looking sullen. “Habla,” she says.

At Intracoastal Five Star Rentals, a.k.a. Dr. Evil’s Lair, Andrés and Ignacio are being a couple of sore losers. They haven’t come up with a scheme yet, just something on the order of “ruin that nurse and make her crawl before delivering the final blow.” The only thing that’s changed is motive. Now they’re adding their humiliation in court to the list of grievances against Our Heroine. Oh, and Andrés owes Diego one. Flashback to Diego’s brief, shining moment as a Fiera just to make sure we remember. Andrés is going to get revenge on Diego and Diana. Close-up of Dr. Evil, mildly impactado.

We are now transported to Casa Irazabal. Paola and Rene hurry in and sit down on the lovely gold velvet couch in the foyer. Paola’s managed to save herself from the police, but will she save herself from her fiera of a mother? Yolanda comes running in and they decide that Paola should hide in her room. Octavia would never think of looking for her there.

At Casa Soriano, Max is still apologizing. It’s an awful lot of dialogue, but he’s getting through it. Diana wants to know why it was easier to believe Camila and Dr. Evil. Especially since she gave him her virginity. Max doesn’t have a good answer to that but Diana’s not interested in listening, anyway. It’s her turn to do the talking after the way he dogged her 'round.

In Paola’s bedroom. Octavia runs her house like a concentration camp, and Paola’s already served 20 years. She’ll stay until tomorrow, but she doesn’t want any more confrontations with Mamacita. Yolanda replies that Paola needs help. Once again she entrusts her wayward niece to Rene. Once again she expresses the hope that Rene’s not using. Paola asks her to ease up on the sermons. Yolanda tells Rene to give Paola some counseling (come again?) and asks him to stop in the library before he leaves. The door closes behind her and we know there will be no remorse from these Bright Young Things because we get a few bars of the “Fiera” song. They burst out laughing and joke about what delinquents they are, how they really put one over on poor Yolanda. Kids these days.

We return to Casa Soriano, where Diana is circling Max, getting him told. Our Heroine may speak softly, but she carries a big guilt-stick. Every grievance is a blow which Our Hero stoically endures until Diana pulls him around to face her. She’s going to deliver the coup de grace, I just know it. “You’re the one who lied to me!” And then she starts flailing away like mad, starting with his claim of being a widower and building to a grand little speech on the evils of machismo. Max is taking one for the team here, no doubt about it. This is followed by the “Not with married men” speech. Her prim outrage and the virtuous little diatribe make it easy to picture her in a candle-lit room, hair in a chignon, angrily slapping her fan against her hoopskirt. “Your worst punishment is losing me forever!” He promises to get a divorce but she doesn’t want to hear it. Tomorrow she’s marrying Diego. Max looks like he had a line…it was right on the tip of his tongue…was it…damn. So much for attractively impactado.

Paola’s boudoir. Rene has decided to take his bomboncito Yolanda seriously and advises Paola to stop seeing Pancho. They argue but don’t tell us anything we don’t already know. After Paola says she doesn’t want him to badmouth her Panchito, Rene leaves. Paola sulks for a second or two, then picks up her phone and calls Pancholón. She wants to have a Serious Talk. He tries to soothe his “fierita”. Paola thinks it’s time for a career change. The illegal jewelry trade is too risky.

We check back in with that other fun couple, Max and Diana. He’s telling her not to make the mistake of marrying Diego. You don’t love him, Max protests. I’ll grow to love him is her response. (Diego’s got Lala, Gaby, and Diana all drinking the same Kool-Aid.) You’ll never love Diego the way you loved me. (That’s an interesting approach. Stupid, but interesting.) Max repeats that he’s an idiot. I repeat “Damn straight you are.” Diana’s getting increasingly bitter as the scene progresses. They continue to argue until she tells him to go back to his wife, who needs him. “From now on,” she decrees, “you and I are two strangers.” Close up of Max, with the Glycerine Tear of True Dolor. Pobre de Max. Before he goes, he says he hopes she doesn’t regret this. All she regrets is having met him. Ouch. Bye, Max. Thanks for playing. The door’s hardly closed when Granny M. and Little Doormat enter to find out what happened. Diana hurries to her room, with Granny and Gabby right behind her. They heard it all. He deserved it. Diana gets all weepy. Despite the noble platitudes, she loves him with all her might, will never love another like she loved him (didn’t we just hear that somewhere?) etc. Little Doormat, a.k.a. Pollyanna the Glad Girl, points out that Max didn’t know how to appreciate Diana any more than Larry knew how to appreciate her. Granny M chimes in, saying that Gaviota was right about the Irazabal clan getting enjoyment out of stepping on people and hurting them. Diana would like to hate Max, but she can’t. Every day she loves him more. Awkward-looking group hug.

Bar Don Paco. The seven extras came back – we can hear them going wild. Gaviota has just finished a show. She and Paco are in her dressing room. “Listen to that applause,” says Paco. “You’re a wonder.” (Because she kept them in their seats tonight?) She attributes her success onstage to her success in court. As usual this brings the conversation to Our Heroine. Gaviota would rather see her married to Diego than to an Irazabal.

At Psycho Mansion, Yolanda is beseeching Rene. Help Paola, advise her. Rene says he’ll give her more advice than a parish priest. Yolanda thinks rehab might be best for Paola. You can count on Rene. Close-up of our boy mugging. She’s charmed by this. Everything’s cute when Rene does it. He changes the subject by asking Yolanda out on a date. An open-air reggaeton concert. Va a estar de pocas pulgas. (Anybody know this expression?) Yolanda prefers classical music. Rene clowns some more before saying “As you wish”, followed by a lingering kiss on the hand. He departs. Yolanda sighs. Ay, bomboncito.

Paola and Pancho. Same conversation as above.

Max is in the parlor. Enter the spider, I mean Octavia, once more dressed like a seventies call-girl. She saunters over to the couch and asks Max if he plans on getting drunk again. What’s the occasion this time? Diana’s getting married tomorrow. Don’t lie down and die on account of this mujercita. Does Octavia know who the defense lawyer was? No. Fedora Garces Ledezma. Close-up of Mamá, her face so immobile you would think she’d gone for a botox treatment and told them “Super-Size me.”

Back in Gav’s dressing room, our torch-singing attorney tells Paco that she has to get revenge on Octavia, find her daughters, and make Diana and Gaby very happy. I guess Paco doesn’t remember the first 32 times she told him that. Or maybe Gaviota doesn’t recall. By the end of the scene, she makes it to rehash number 34.

Chez Diana. She’s lying on her bed. She’s unhappy. “Tomorrow I’m marrying a man I don’t love.” Close-up of Diana looking even unhappier. End of scene.

We return to Casa Irazabal, where Max is reminiscing about the last time anyone saw Fedora/Gaviota. Tía Yolanda met her in the street one day. And when did Fedora/Gaviota become a lawyer, Octavia wonders. A lot of people go to school while they’re doing time. Octavia also wonders how it came to pass that Fedora/Gaviota of all people was Diana’s lawyer. It could have been a coincidence. Max kisses her on the shoulder and they say good night. Octav thought-bubbles: “I don’t like this at all. These two, allies? What is this bond? What plots are brewing in Fedora’s twisted mind?”

Casa Soriano. It’s Our Heroine’s wedding day. At first I don’t recognize the hostess, then I realize it’s Granny M in her Barbara Bush party dress. In come Lala, Diego, Pancho, Caramelo, and Nancy. Nancy’s in surprisingly good spirits for someone who’s attending the ill-fated wedding of the man she loves. The Orphans of the Storm are in the other room, preparing the bride for her Big Day. Gaby is being endearingly officious. After all, the happy couple has her to thank. Nancy knocks at the door. Poor Nancy, Little Doormat says, dying of love for Diego. Sigh. She lets Nancy in and they’re all smiles. Nancy doesn’t beat around the bush with Diana. Diego was never going to love her. Diana is his great love. Nancy wishes her the greatest happiness. Diana stands and we get a good look at her wedding dress. It’s a strapless sundress with a wide band of black lace around the waist. It appears to have been made from a bedsheet and one of Granny M’s old girdles. Nancy and Diana hug. Close-up of Nancy. She is seriously bummed.

Now we’re in Max’s office. He’s got that blank stare under furrowed brow expression on his face again. He is remembering Our Heroine’s words: “Tomorrow I’m marrying Diego.” Enter Emilio. He has some orders to be signed. Max isn’t listening. He’s just sitting there, staring. Emilio finally gets his attention. “Diana’s getting married today.” Emilio gets a close-up so that we can see him thinking “Aw, man, not this again.”

Gaviota’s room. She’s sitting on the bed, putting on her shoes. For some reason I flash back to similar scenes from Pre-Code movies, except that the actress has usually just finished with a trick. Maybe it’s the black choker with the huge black rosette. Or the red dress with black polka dots and Gav’s signature extra-wide belt. But there are no folded bills tucked in her garter and she won’t light a cigarette and gaze moodily into the camera. No. She’s just getting ready for the wedding. There’s an insistent knock at the door. Adjusting her top, she goes to answer. It’s Octavia, just stopping by for a minute before she gets on the Love Boat. While the skin-tight halter-top with the nautical pattern is quite jaunty, I don’t think that’s why Gaviota is impactada. “Octavia!” Close-up of Octavia, staring at Gaviota the way a snake looks at a cornered rat.

Out in the bar, Lorenzo the lovable old barman is being questioned by Paco, the man haunted by the woman who betrayed him. Paco wants to know who just went in to see Gaviota. Lorenzo has no idea.

Back in Gaviota’s dressing room, we get a splendid shot of her idea of wedding-guest attire. If she slipped on a ruffled petticoat under that dress, she could entertain us with the can-can. But that’s not going to happen, it’s Fiera versus Fiera here, even if they’re not playing the Fiera song. Instead the Synthesizer of Doom plays loudly as Octav sashays through the dressing room to Gaviota’s bedroom. “So you live in this cow-shed.” Midshot of Gaviota in the archway, with her Gay Pride rainbow boa visible between the groovy beads hanging behind her. She smirks, as if to say, “Are you kidding me, bitch?” Octavia grills Gaviota on her acquaintance with las hermanas Soriano and Gav refuses to answer. Octavia grabs her arm and calls her an ex-con who reeks of jail. Although it pains me to say it, girls and boys, there are no prizes for guessing where that remark leads. Where it ends is the menacing violin music and Gaviota turning venomous as she states her intention of recruiting Diana and Gaby to avenge themselves on los Irazabal. Close-up of Octavia thinking “If I could shoot you dead and get away with it…”

We return to the boda. The justice of the peace arrives, out comes Diana, it looks like our young couple is going to take that fateful step on the road to unhappiness…No, not yet, Gaviota’s not there.

Back to the Gaviota, who’s still reciting her Litany of Revenge. She doesn’t get any reaction out of Lady O until she says Octavia will pay for the death of Gav’s husband. Octavia wheels around and calls Gaviota a miserable murderess. Gav slaps her and neatly intercepts the counter-blow. “Don’t you dare,” Gaviota warns, “because I’ll leave you bald.” She tells Octavia to get out, even holds aside the beads for her. Well, Octavia has to go, anyway, she’s got a boat to catch and Captain Steubing to vamp. They exchange rabid fiera glares as Octav struts out. After a last look at our Avenging Angel, we follow Octavia through the bar. Paco comes out of his office and calls out. She stops, but does not turn. He asks who she is and at first she looks puzzled, then as the camera pulls in closer, impactada. Commercial.

We come back to Andres, in a rental car, staking out the wedding. He calls Dr. Evil to announce that he’s on point and that the best part is yet to come.

At Paco’s bar, Octavia thought-bubbles: “Who does that voice remind me of?” That voice, a.k.a. Paco, keeps asking inane questions. Octav keeps her back to him and then Gaviota appears. “What are you still doing here? I told you to take off.” Octavia leaves without turning or saying a word. Paco asks Gav about the Mystery Woman. She fills him in. He’s sorry that he didn’t get to see the face of the woman who caused her so much harm. That’s okay, Gaviota’s going to destroy her the same way she destroyed Gav. One of Paco’s employees enters to remind Paco that they’d better get a move on.

Outside the unassuming little tract home where the unlucky boda is about to take place, Andrés watches Paco, Gaviota, and Lorenzo pull up. Inside, the guests are happy that the stragglers have finally made it. Pleasantries are exchanged and then it’s time for this wedding business. Diana forces a smile, but it only lasts a second or two.

Max is fiddling with a pencil instead of working on billing or signing orders. He tells us that they’re probably getting married right now, as he speaks, with the show’s theme song playing. He is so upset that he breaks his pencil. And he’s glad he broke it, too!

We cut to the ceremony, with Diana looking melancholy until Diego flashes that weaselly grin at her. She forces another weak smile and looks down. The theme song continues to play while everyone in the wedding party gets a close-up. We end with the bride and groom again. The expression on Diana’s face tells us she regrets it already.

In the rental car. Andrés opens the glove compartment and takes out a gun much like the one Faux Marfil pulled on Real Marfil several capítulos back. Since he’s got his back to us, we can only see his eyes and nose in the rearview mirror. Even so we can tell he’s got an evil grin on his face. That’s some pretty snazzy camerawork.

Back to the boda. Diana and Diego sign the register, then Gaby and Pancho. The justice of the peace declares them man and wife, applause all around, the newlyweds rise. “Now you’re my wife.” “Sí, ya soy tu mujer y tu esposa,” is her rather peculiar reply. The Orchestra of Doom begins to play, and it's not Lohengrin.

Poolside at Casa Irascible. Pilar is catching some rays and Luscious Larry is in the pool. He swims up, invites her in, she declines. They blather on a bit: Octavia would have hysterics if she knew Pilar was here; Pilar wants Larry to get Mamacita to forgive her; whatever happened to that sirvienta. From there it’s a short step to “I want to get married as soon as possible.” Larry wants to wait a few months. Pilar is not a happy camper.

The boda’s still not over. Lorenzo brings out a tray of champagne, and everyone toasts.

Max is drinking, too, but he’s having straight scotch and he’s not feeling too festive right now. They must have tied the knot, he tells us. He’s lost her forever because he’s an idiot. Enter Mamá. Max asks if she came to torture him. Not at all. But she hopes today is the last day he’ll think of Diana. Mmm, don’t bet the perfume factory on that, Octavia.

Back at the pool, Pilar hasn’t given up. She doesn’t see why they should wait months when he could easily divorce that sirvienta. They argue over her use of the disparaging word “sirvienta.” Larry speechifies a bit, extolling Little Doormat’s virtues and calling her an angel. He starts to walk away, then comes back to really let Pilar have it. While Pilar was off rolling around with Kique, Gaby was at his side, etc., etc., etc. He forbids Pilar to dis Gaby again. He leaves, only this time he means it. At first Pilar is miffed, but then she laughs. If he defends her like that, it’s because he’s in love with la sirvientita, only he hasn’t realized it yet. Why this amuses her is a mystery.

At Casa Soriano, the newlyweds toast each other. This leads to a sappy conversation in which Diego basically tells Diana that he is her love slave. Then he gets a little more practical. It turns out that in their mad dash to the altar, these impetuous kids forgot to make honeymoon plans. Diana is suddenly feeling very Scarlett O’Hara. She wants to think about it tomorrow. Diego is enchanted by this reply. “You don’t know how much I love you.” He leans in to kiss her, but she dodges by setting her glass down. “Let’s go out for a walk.” “Now?” Well, whatever his princess wants. Her wishes are his orders. He announces their plans to all and sundry. Lala tells them not to be long, there’s still the cake to be cut and photos to be taken. (And bullets to be fired, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.) The Synthesizer of Doom music swells as they leave the house. Andrés watches them, nodding. “There’s the happy groom,” he says and once more we are treated to a flashback of the scuffle in the courthouse hallway. Back in the present, Andrés tells the new Sr. y Sra. Suarez to get ready. He puts on his sunglasses and starts the car.

Irascible Manor. Max comes stumbling in. He looks like he really tied one on. Faux Marfil is flipping through a magazine – probably Vogue, although Guns & Ammo is also possible. She’s wearing a low-cut, baby-doll kimono, or something like that. It’s hard to focus on the actual dress with all that cleavage screaming for attention. But about Max and the little woman. He announces that he’s the biggest idiot in the world. She’s not happy to see him drunk in the middle of the day. I don’t listen to her any more than Max does. Suffice it to say that she gets him up the stairs and onto the bed. Again he says he is the world’s biggest idiot, but Faux Marfil has decided to use this to her advantage. She starts undressing him. “Kiss me, kiss me, tell me you love me, that there’s no other woman….” And so on. Max must be wasted, because he’s returning her kisses and declaring he loves her, only her, only…Diana. Diana? That little slip of the tongue causes Faux Marfil to go right into Chihuahua on crack mode. Max begins to realize that he didn’t just get drunk, he got puking drunk. He struggles to rise.

The boda again. Pancho and Caramelo are admiring the cake topper. Paco pulls on the bride’s little tulle veil and predicts that Diana will never love his idiot brother. The marriage is a farce. (He may be a muerto de hambre, but he’s right on the money there.) Pancho then pulls the cake topper off, stealthily puts it on the floor and steps on it, grinding the bridal couple’s little plaster heads to dust.

Cut to Diego and Diana walking down the street, with Andrés driving three feet behind them. They of course do not notice him. He stops to put on a ski mask, gets out of the car, walks up behind Diego, shoots him twice in the back, and flees. Diana drops to her knees in hysterics, screaming for help, screaming Diego’s name, shaking him – wait. Isn’t she a nurse? Shouldn’t she have some rudimentary knowledge of emergency first aid? Fortunately we go to commercial and I can have another glass of wine.

Back in the mansion. Faux Marfil has worked herself up to complete fiera hysteria. She screams and screams and screams and screams, pausing for breath just long enough for Max to bellow “Shut up!” Gracias, Max. By now he’s up and moving again. Faux Marfil isn’t finished, however. She was just getting her second wind. I don’t really follow it too well, but this tantrum is not only genuine, it’s operatic. (Scary, Expressionist operatic, not the Mozart in powdered wigs variety.) I gather Faux Marfil’s lambasting Diana because she screeches “She doesn’t love you!” about six times in a row. And then Max does the unthinkable. Close-up of Our Hero, suddenly sober. Attractively impactado. Well, I’ll be damned.

We move on to Ignacio’s office. He asks Andrés how it went. Andrés sums it up very neatly. She got married, and he widowed her.

At Casa Soriano, Lala and Granny M are hoping that their kids find happiness together. Paco, Gaviota, and Lorenzo are behind them, nodding sagely and murmuring in agreement. The phone rings and Gaby answers. It’s Diana. Bit by bit, as the String Quartet of Doom gets louder, Little Doormat is told that Diego’s been shot, is in the hospital, and is muy grave. He’s lost a lot of blood. But he’s alive, thanks to Diana’s emergency response technique. I’d hate to think what might have happened if she hadn’t repeatedly screamed "¡Contéstame!" while shaking his head like a maraca. But back to our friends. Gaby is impactada. She breaks the news, rather perfunctory pandemonium follows, and everyone hurries out.

Back at the hospital, Andrés tells Dr. Evil he’s sure he killed Diego. A nurse knocks on the door. They have an emergency. A man with two gunshot wounds. Gee, I wonder who that could be? Andrés is sure he killed Diego.

The operating room. Diego is face-down on the gurney. Dr. Evil thought-bubbles: “This is Diego? The husband of Diana Soriano?” He tells the nurse to prep the patient. He’ll be right back.

Diana is pacing up and down in front of the desk. Dr. Evil approaches her. Diego’s condition is serious. They’ll need to operate. And Dr. Ignacio Montiel Evil himself will perform the surgery. Close-up of Diana, impactada.

Roll Credits

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