Caray, Caray!

El GRAN FINAL ~

Gabe and Nic watch the video on Demian's cell phone and see Jos' confession to the many murders she's committed over the past couple of years. --Why, who'd a thunk it? --Nic says that with all the explosives Demian gave her there is no doubt she was the one responsible for murdering Demian as well. "She is a murderess!" says Gabe. Yes, they are both impactado.

Jos smiles to herself. She vows to herself to keep fighting for what is hers. "No, Mamá. Not a new Joselyn! The same Joselyn as ever. I am going to take back everything that is mine. Nobody will be able to restrain me."

Jos keeps swilling her adult beverages and popping downers till she starts seeing double in the mirror. Only, now Jos's double- actually treble-- begins talking back to her. (Remember Star Trek's Trouble with Tribbles? This is trouble with trebles.) Said reflection scoffs and sneers at her about how evil she is. Yes, she's Cruella Deville, with no way out (and certainly with no upside either, now, come to think of it. She's back to less than zero.)

This now somehow comes as a shock to Jos and Jos begins to argue with the treble in the mirror. The treble continues ridiculing her for all her past acts of wickedness, corruption, and depravity. Yep. It's the beginning of her conscience finally emerging to haunt her. Jos makes all the textbook excuses to her troubled trebled self: she was only defending herself; she became this vengeful, murderous sadistic monster because yes, her momma made her that way. Treble says Ha! no way. She comes by it naturally and enjoys the heck out of it every time. You can't lie to your treble so don't bother.

Cecilia tells Leo she admires him so much she's going to join him in Mexico City to study medicine and to be close to him. He is impactado.

Gabe runs into Mariangela's office and then takes seemingly forever to spit out what he and Nic just found out. Jos with Miriam's complicity was responsible for the deaths of both her mother, Aurora, and Clemente, her father. They also had planned Little Lui's kidnappiing. They were the cause of all their suffering. (No duh. Gabe is really slow to catch on at times.)

Ti asks to be forgiven by JC and Paulina. He acknowledges he owes a lot to the love and support of his mother throughout all of this. JC and Pau give him hugs and warm words of affection. The important thing, Pau reassures him, is that he wants to change his ways. Ti is glad to be out of stir but still feels he had to go to jail intead of Demian because his father would never have been able to handle the stress of being behind bars. Karen is there and wishes she'd had the love and support from her mother somewhere along the way also.

Miriam and Jos are discussing Jos's carelessness in killing Demian and in confessing all her murderous activities. (Hmmm. Come to think of it, it's a good thing Jos didn't tell Demian about putting the viper in Reggie's van or the novela would have ended right then and there with Demian jumping over the desk and making mincemeat of her, but I digress.) Luck is no longer on their side. Things have become very dangerous and Miriam isn't so sure it won't come back to bite them in the backside sooner or later. It turns out to be sooner as Mariangela suddenly storms into the hallway of the manse.

She confronts the two with killing her parents. "Murderers!" she screams, and then slaps both of them silly with a couple of totally unexpected but very satisfying whaps. Shocked, Miriam goes into her "Really? Prove it." act. The two fieras both claim she hasn't got any proof of anything. The police sirens wail in the background as Mariangela drops the news on them: "Ha!Ha! Too late. I can prove everything I am saying!"

Nic and Gabe arrive just then. Miriam says there's no proof of anything. Nic shows them the cell phone. "Demian recorded Jos' confession on his cell phone before he died!" The jig is up. The cops arrive behind Gabe.

Miriam knows they've been caught red-handed. She is furious and walks over to Jos and slaps her so hard it nearly knocks her over. "Idiot!" Jos gets in Miriam's face and threatens her then, " Never ever touch me again!" They handcuff the fieras and literally have to carry them off to jail. "I'm the mother of his child! Gabe!" Jos is still screaming and kicking as they take her out the door.

Back in the boonies the kids are suddenly coming in to the little clinic for their vaccinations. Surprisingly German comes to apologize to Leo for bullying him and causing so many problems in the clinic. (What? No law suit? No jail time for the mean old loony toon? I guess not. That would mean no future nookie from Ceci.) Leo's an easy sort, so once German is forgiven, he asks Leo's intentions towards Cecilia.

Leo explains very honestly how he feels and assures him that he respects her even though he doesn't love her right now. They are going to give the relationship a try, he says, and he believes it won't take long with a woman like Cecilia to forget his past personal problems and to fall in love with her.

Elsa gets a few hours out for good behavior and Sylvestre takes her back to visit Candy in the old neighborhood. She is all smiles and healthy looking again. Elsa asks her mother to forgive her for her horrible behavior and the way she treated her and Leo for so long. Candy and she share hugs and kisses while Syl watches and smiles.

There is a big sigh of relief with both fieras now caged. Gabe and Mariangela share a minute of happiness upstairs in the manse with their two children. Yes, Mariangela has both of her children back in her arms.

Miriam and Jos share a jail cell and the two start grousing and blaming each other about Jos's carelessness. Jos kept ignoring Miriam's warnings and then, she told Demian everything they'd done! She's angry that this is why they finally got caught. "You had to open your big mouth and brag on and on!" --"Who would have thought he'd have recorded me on his cell phone?" "I disown you as my daughter!" They end up in fisty-cuffs over it so the cops finally have to come in to separate them and put them into separate jail cells.

Karen comes by to talk with her mother. Karen stands there snivelling. Jos is snide and says, "This is what you wanted right? Me in jail? Well now you have it. Don't ever come back to see me again." Karen asks her if she regrets anything she's done. Jos answers, "Not at all." Karen is crushed and leaves.

Dolores comes to harrass Miriam. Miriam says, "Satisfied?" Dolores replies, "I should say I am.....untroubled." The guards come in to transfer her to the prison and Dolores rubs it in that they're now the ones going to prison and that they'll be spending the rest of their lives rotting behind bars. As Miriam is taken away she gives Dolores the foreign equivalent of "Screw You" with hand signals. Dolores says to herself, "Brother, just as I swore to you."

Gabe must comfort Karen as prodigal son, Rogelio, returns home. Karen is all weepy eyed. He finds out that Miriam and Jos are in jail and he offers her his support and gives her a hug. Gabe looks at the two and (just like me) has a hard time figuring out if this is a big brotherly hug or something more. It's aparrent Gabe does like the change he sees in Rog.

Cecilia realizes that Leo is packing his bags to leave. She asks if he's coming back or not. He explains a couple of his family need his support right now, but he is definitely coming back to her. Cecilia plants a big fat kiss on Leo and he asks for a second one.

Gabe comes to visit Jos in prison. She says, "What were you expecting? For me to be sobbing and asking your pardon?" He complains to her about the nasty way she treated Karen. "She deserves that and more." Gabe is flabberghasted and asks her if she would want Karen feeling so horrible after telling her she'd killed her father? "Edgar was a nuissance for me. I had to get him out of the way. You know what? I don't regret it, either."

Gabe is disgusted. "You are never going to change, Joselyn. However, I do forgive you." Jos hits the roof and tells him to get lost and fast. "I don't need it. I hope you and Mariangela would rot and never be happy! Rot! Get out!"

When Leo gets home he tells Candy about the new feelings he has discovered he has now that he knows about his biological family. He also tells her about Cecilia. Elsa knocks and they make a big deal out of her calling him "brother" now. There is lots of joking and smiling all around with Sylvestre and Candy.

Leo goes to visit Jos at the prison. He offers to be there for her and to give her what support he can. "What can I do for you?" --"Get me out of here!" When he says that isn't possible she immediately rejects him; but then Jos has a supposed change of heart. She starts to cry about never having had the love necessary from her mother. She ended up the way she did and in prison because of it and now it's too late for her. (Caution, Will Robinson! Caution!!) She plays on Leo's heartstrings like a well tuned Strativarius violin.

While walking around the central business district later, Elsa and Sylvestre get a rude surprise. They are professing their feelings for each other when El Mastín, all dirty and stinking drunk (and still in the same tee-shirt and pants from when he left her on the street to die from her overdose) bumps into them with a bottle in his hand. He's high as a kite and panhandling for money.

El Mastín's mind is so burned out that he doesn't even recognize them anymore. He's too drunk or high or both. Sylvestre pushes him away. El Mastín trips and falls down against the side of a building and babbles on to himself. Sylvestre is ready to beat the tar out of him, but Elsa stops him. She is so shocked at his appearance. She realizes this could have been her fate and tells that to Sylvestre.

That night Leo is riding with Jos (now magically dressed like Catwoman in a black bodysuit) in the back of a police van. They're in route as he got her transferred to a psychiatric clinic. Suddenly Jos pretends to feel sick and has him stop the van for her. The minute the driver opens the door she double crosses them and uses a tire iron on the policeman and grabs his gun. Leo stares at her. She forces Leo to cuff himself to the policeman. She drives off in the van screaming, "I do love you, Leo! Now get out of here!" (Cute. They call handcuff's "esposas" (wives) in Mexico.)

Jos is aparently having a mental breakdown from all the guilt that has surfaced in her psyche. She's running along trying to find a way out and begins to see her reflection in windows of the buildings; it's screaming accusations at her along with Federico, Clemente and Demian. Freddy and Clemente keep whining and blaming her for their deaths. They moan and question her why since all they did was try to love her and protect her as any father/stepfather would. Demian even appears and begins bragging about pursuing her all the way from Hell to avenge his death. She breaks down into tears and tries to run away from them all.

Nic and Gabe get word Jos has escaped. Gabe takes his car and starts looking for her in the area near where she fled the van. Jos's Cruella D reflection continues to mock her until Jos tires out and ends up tripping and breaking through a glass door. She bends down and picks up a jagged piece of the glass and runs off with it.

Gabe nearly runs Jos down near the construction site of some large partially constructed building nearby. He gets out and runs after her. He follows her up to the top of the unfinished building. He tries to convince her to come down and hand herself over to the police.

She swears she will not go back to a life behind bars. --"Why did you refuse to love me? Nobody loved me!" (To the end she's the victim and blameless.) He tells her to think about her daughter and son who still love her and that she can change. He'll help her without bitterness or hate. "Really? No! It is too late to help me. I don't have the strength anymore. I just can't go on." (I am thinking about now that I can't either. Jump already, will ya? Die and put us all out of our mysery. Ay!)

Sirens start blaring again. Jos is beside herself with fear and self-loathing. "Adios, Gabriel. Forgive me. Remember I did it all for you, for your love." She cuts her wrists and lets herself fall to the bottom of the construction pit.

A couple of minutes later Leo, Gabe, Nic and Dolores and Karen are all gathered around her while she's lying there dying. Leo begs her not to give up. Jos tells him she really needed to have a brother. He says he's sorry too because he would have given anything to avoid so much of her suffering. She then tells Karen she does love her and is sorry. After that she turns to Gabe and asks his forgiveness. Of course he gives it to her with tears in his eyes.(You're a better man than I, Gunga-Gabe.) She asks him to be sure that Mariangela takes care of her children. Finally Jos tells him she was only ever able to be happy with him. Fully repentant, she dies.

Leo comes to visit Miriam in prison the next day and offers her his love and support. After all she gave him life he tells her and he respects that. He shocks her by calling her "Mamá". She sneers a bit and refuses to accept him, but as he walks off she flinches and calls him back, "Hijo!" She asks his forgiveness and they cry together.

A few months later it is just before Mariangela and Gabe's wedding ceremony. Pedro has returned for the event with a new 'do and it seems that he and Diane are going to start dating. Rogelio gives him his best wishes and then asks him in front of the family to forgive him for his horrid behavior towards his cousin all these many long years. A paunchy Pau fixes her father's tie. JC is there in the room also. Gabe grabs them all and tells them how important they all are and how thankful he is to have their love.

Leo walks Mariangela to the altar. Her gown's unbelievably long train stretches for an entire block behind her. Before the ceremony Gabe tells her now there is nobody to keep him apart from her any longer. Mariangela tells him that from that day on their happiness will be eternal.

The two say their vows on the banks of the lake beside the Cervantes Bravo mansion. Afterward they take a celebratory canoe trip around the lake and meet up in the middle of the bridge that crosses it. Everything everywhere is covered in masses of nuptial flowers. On the bridge they tell each other how much they love each other and embrace happily as they look to the lake and beyond. FIN.

Roll credits --and pop the champagne!

Labels: mundo

Aaron

Erica and Gaviota

Rodrigo and Gaviota

Hilario

Clara



Dona Pilar

Isadora

Minerva

Labels: Destilando, synopsis-cast

In Jalisco, in the beautiful town of Tequila, an ardent, pure and strong love rises, just like the famous liquor that carries the name of this hot, fertile region where it is produced.

Teresa Hernández, called Gaviota, is a fieldworker who travels across the country with her mother Clara, working the harvests. Every year, they come back to Tequila for the harvest of the blue agave [See How Tequila Is Made] at the Hacienda called La Montalveña.

This hacienda is the property of Don Amador, patriarch of the Montalvo family, a family with a long history in the production of tequila. As the story begins, Don Amador knows his death is near; he arrives to pass his last days in this land he loves so much.

When Don Amador dies, his family comes together for the funeral. His grandchildren - Rodrigo and Rodrigo's cousin Aarón - arrive from London, where they are enrolled in doctoral programs. The cousins were raised like brothers, but their grandfather's will wakens ambition in Aarón, as the control of the family fortune will go to the family of the first grandson who sires a son. Aarón feels confident, knowing that Rodrigo has never been able to make love; however, Rodrigo's destiny changes with the arrival of Gaviota in his life.

Rodrigo and the beautiful fieldworker, in the moment they meet, feel for the first time the disturbing call of love; their bodies awaken a passion which dominates them. Both surrender themselves to it completely.

Rodrigo promises Gaviota that he will return and marry her after he receives his doctorate in a year's time. Not long after, Gaviota discovers she is pregnant. Without having an idea of the size of the world, the innocent young woman decides to go to England and find Rodrigo. Deceived by a local photographer who promises help, Gaviota falls into the hands of a band of white slavers (tratantes de blancas - ?) who send her to a Parisian bordello.

The valiant young woman escapes and begins her voyage in search of the man she loves. Alone, without knowing the language, she has only her faith and grand love to sustain her in the worst moments. Aided by a generous Italian and a group of English nuns, she will return to Mexico to find a life much different than the one she left behind: a life of sadness and deception; a life in the big city, where ambition, rancor and lies reign, a life which may turn to stone the innocent heart which began this journey.

Labels: Destilando, synopsis-cast

Labels: Zorro

I want to say something to "Ret" and other people who are frustrated that they're not learning Spanish as fast as they would like: I bet you're learning way more than you think. Reading Spanish, understanding spoken Spanish, and writing/speaking Spanish are three different skills. Throw in Colloquial Spanish (like you hear in on TV) vs. the Proper Spanish (like you study in school), and there's an additional dimension of complexity.

There's lots of overlap, of course, but if this is what you're trying to do - learning all of these skills at the same time - you need to give yourself credit for making some progress on several things at once, rather than the results you'd get by focusing on just one skill at a time. For what it's worth, I'm getting a lot of mileage by concentrating on reading - it's slowly getting easier to understand spoken Spanish, too. But I still can't put a decent sentence together on my own. I'm WAY behind where I was in high school, [mumblemumble] years ago, if I want to write or speak Spanish. But I can read 10 times better now than I could then. Why? Because I've been reading the captions (not only on Univision, but also on the US shows I watch with Spanish captions).

So, approach learning any way you wish, but measure your achievement by the number of things you know - not by the things you don't know. The smarter you get, the more you'll realize how much you still have to learn, so if you worry about the stuff you haven't mastered yet, you'll go nuts. :-)

Enough lecturing! On with the recap!

Yeah, so, Lety is standing there with a bonsai tree and Fern's got a little fountain, because after a group hug, Saimon his mixed up their gifts. Saimon leaves, and Fern and Lety re-exchange their gifts. They testily question one another about their doings in San Miguel Regla and Nueva York. Naturally, both refuse to answer, and both claim that they're not asking out of jealousy. Oh, they are sooooo jealous. Fern says his friend's grandmother says that when someone gives you something, you have to take it and not be a jerk. So they go their separate ways with their gifts.

Fern kisses the bonsai tree and strokes it on his way back to his desk (he gets the captain's chair 'cuz Omar's out). He tries it out in a few different spots and begins trimming the foliage with loving care.

Lety carefully takes the little fountain and, after a few nanoseconds' thought, decides to put it on the table behind her desk where she can conveniently turn her back to it. She does so with exaggerated nonchalance.

Night falls, but quickly gets up again

Next day, Alicia tries to call Marcia, but is annoyed to hear that Marcia has checked out of her room. Alicia fears that if Marcia doesn't get back soon, she's going to lose her boyfriend, and Alicia won't be able to go to the big expo.

The cuartel comes off the elevator and Alicia takes off with her clown kit because hey, whose makeup DOESN'T already need freshening up at 8 or 9 in the morning, am I right ladies? PM tells her fellow gossips that they all need to get makeovers today, so as not to offend the tender eyes of their clients at the expo. PM admits she's hoping her new look will have Saimon at her feet.

Sara suggests asking the people who will be working with the dancers to work on them too. Irma stamps her foot and says no, Luigi would kill them if he found out.

Luigi and Aldo come in at that moment, and the cuartel pretends to be busy. Aldo mentions to Luigi that he'd like a favor, and Luigi says sure, anything. He tells Irma to join him in the studio when she's finished wasting time with the living dead. Aldo lags behind... to butter up the living dead, I guess. He offers to help them with their "problem." Irma explains the situation to him as they both head back to Luigi's.

Next off the elevator are Fern and Carloca. Hmm, what a coincidence - they just happened to arrive at the same time. Sup with that? Carloca bids the cuartel good afternoon - huh? Maybe we skipped the whole morning. Either that, or coming in five minutes later than the cuartel makes them terribly late. Anyway, Fern advises the cuartel to be a little more discreet with their persecution of him today. Grinning like children, they chorus "Sí, Don Fernando." His tie has yellow and blue stripes that match the colors in the lobby.

The Reluctant Genie

Luigi babbles a bunch of artsy-fartsy crap at Aldo to explain why he doesn't want to do the favor that Aldo has asked. "I know I said your wish was my command, but c'mon, Aladdin wasn't that mean to his genie." (Well, maybe that's because Aladdin's genie wasn't quite so rude to Aladdin's girlfriend!) "Please, what you're asking is Luigicide!" he continues.

Yes - Aldo has asked Luigi to do the makeovers for the cuartel, and the mere thought is giving Luigi the vapors. (BTW, according to Dr. Baker from Little House on the Prairie, "the vapors" was flatulence.) But, he says, he'll do what Aldo asks. He points out that this favor isn't even for Aldo - it's for those horrible magpies (urracas). Luigi says he's creative, but he's not a magician! He cries and says it will be bad for his career and his ego.

Aldo gets all touchy-feely around Luigi's shoulders. (At one point, Luigi looks at Aldo's hand on his shoulder, and reaches for it; at that exact moment, Aldo "just happens" to move his own hand to Luigi's other shoulder. Don't tell me Aldo isn't knowingly and happily exploiting the effect he has on Luigi. Not that I feel bad for Luigi. But it's not nice to do that.) Aldo says this favor will be good for the expo, which is important not only to Conceptos, but also for Aldo personally. Luigi sulks prettily, but Aldo's persuasive droning, rated-G caresses, and lightweight guilting ("if you make them happy, you'll make me happy") get the better of Luigi, and he gives in.

Aldo gives him a manly hug in thanks, which makes Luigi all shivery. I swear this is almost as romantic as the first time Fern kissed Lety. Luigi says he wants something in exchange - Aldo must be at his side at all times during this makeover. Aldo agrees, and Luigi high-fives him tenderly. You know Luigi's never going to wash that hand again.

The MLSoD is hungry and it must be fed

RoboPop goes to the batcave to do the accounting for the expo. After he closes the door, Lety sneaks another look at the inscription in Aldo's book and unhappily wishes Fern had written it instead of Aldo. She turns around and looks at the little fountain. Fern picks this perfect moment to come in with Carloca. He sneaks up behind Lety and whispers in her ear. She whirls around in surprise, nearly knocking him over. She says she likes the water because it reminds her of the sea. "The sea," she repeats, stroking Aldo's book. Yeah, right - who is she trying to convince? Hah. No one is fooled.

Fern introduces "Carla DomensaEEN." Lety prompts him, and he corrects himself without acknowledging his error. Smooth move, Ex-Lax! The women greet one another politely, and Carla admits she tried to meet Lety yesterday. Lety says she smelled Carla's nice perfume yesterday. Carla admires the fountain, and Lety says it absorbs the bad vibes. Fern looks mildly offended by this, and Carloca beams, enjoying the awkwardness.

Speaking of awkward, RoboPop pops out of the batcave like, well, not to mix metaphors too much, but like a cuckoo clock. He wants some invoices or something. He is taken aback by the sight of Fern, who bows profusely. RoboPop gives Fern a cold greeting, but is much friendlier to Carla. Fern makes a disapproving noise.

Lety asks Carla if she'd like anything, and Carla says "no, I'm fine." Lety raises her eyebrows, as if in sarcastic agreement. Carla says Fern gave her a tour of the company yesterday, and she saw the commercial, and she was really impressed by it, and especially by the use of people who aren't stereotypical models. Fern pipes up that he told her that that was Lety's idea. Carla asks how Lety came up with the idea. (Oh, Carla's being very naughty! She thinks she's going to get Lety to thinking about how ugly and unworthy she is!)

Lety says sure, they can talk about her ideas to save the company after the, hmm, how to say it (she does an imitation of Aldo)... the maneuvers Don Fernando made. ("WE made," Fern coughs.) Fern excuses himself, offers his hand to Erasmo who is still standing there admiring Carla, pretends he was only putting up his hand to smooth his hair, then gives Erasmo a goofy fist-bump on the shoulder and leaves.

Erasmo excuses himself as well, bidding Carla a needlessly fond farewell, which evokes another disapproving noise from Fern, who hasn't completely finished closing the door yet because his nosey nose is in the way. Fern leaves for real and Erasmo retires to the batcave, or the cuckoo clock, or whatever I'm calling it these days.

Alone at last, Carla wants to talk to Lety about Fern. Lety says she's not interested in talking about Fern; Carla says that's not how it looks to her - after all, Lety was the one who brought up the problems of Conceptos, to make Fern uncomfortable. Oh, touché, Miss Psychologist! Lety denies this, and says she only mentioned it because Carla had asked and she was with Fern in New York. Carla notes that Lety is well-informed, and asks if Lety investigated this, because it looked like she had a very good spy network. Lety says no, it's just that she's the president, so she knows about everything.

Carla says she's surprised by Lety's glibness. Lety says she only discusses her emotions with her friends. But if Carla really wants to talk about it, perhaps she, Carla, should tell Lety how she feels. Carloca gladly obliges. She says she respects Lety, and that she's confirmed the impression she had formed of Lety.

"As an object of ridicule, right?" Lety replies angrily. (Oh, dammit, Lety, you were doing so well!) Carla says no. "Then what's all this about respect?" Lety asks. Carla says Fern talked a lot about the marvels of Lety.

(Fern is at his desk again, staring at the bonsai plant and Lety's photo on his phone, wondering what Lety and Carloca are talking about. "I have to forget Lety!" he tells himself. Okay, so the first 4611 times he said it turned out not to be true, but perhaps the 4612th time will be the charm.)

Lety's eyelid twitches, and she asks what else Fern said about her. "Fernando told me more about you than you can imagine," Carla says. "Do you want details?" she offers.

Lety says no, they used to work together, she mostly as his protege... "and you fell in love with him," Carla finishes. Lety insists that there was only work between them, nothing else. Carla says they were a good team. Lety sadly confirms that yes, they were a good team - for work.

Carla says she's glad they had this chat, and that she now understands everything Fern said about Lety. (Lety looks confused and concerned.) They shake hands, and Carla leaves. Carla looks only slightly surprised to find Lola and Martha practically falling through the doors trying to listen. Those two pretend to brush invisible scuff-marks off the doors with their sleeves. Carla asks the rest of the cuartel where Fern is, and like a line of dancers, they point to Fern's door. "How nice you are," Carla says to them sweetly and sincerely as she leaves the Vortex. Oh wow. She really is an Aldette.

"What brutes you are, really," Alicia complains. "It's inborn," she tells them. The cuartel responds with brutish faces. "Inborn," she repeats, getting up for another round with her clown kit.

Just then, Irmita enters the Vortex with the good news that Aldo convinced Luigi to do their makeovers. They all squeal happily.

In the Rehash Room

Peeking out his own office door, Fern sees Carla approach. He hurriedly closes the door and pretends to look busy, and hums a few notes that might be the beginning of the Mundo de Fieras theme (or might not). Carla comes in and he nervously asks how her trip was. He wants to know what she and Lety talked about, too.

Carla tells Fern that he hurt Lety. She's profoundly hurt. What did he do to her? He admits that he used Lety to save his company, and along the way, he fell in love with her. But then she found out his original motive and felt betrayed. She had read this letter that was written by the stupid...

Just then, Omar comes in. He drools and babbles over Carla's beauty. Fern gets up to scold him, and Omar seizes his chance to take the big chair. Fern assures Carla that Omar's very mature, and not at all childish. They bicker competitively until Carla interrupts to introduce herself. Omar babbles some more about her beauty and Fern advises Carla not to even try to understand him. Omar keeps going, though; he says, "it's like, how can I say it..." (a la Aldo) and leans back in the chair. Fern grabs the chair right out from under Omar (I love his tie with green, blue, and white stripes; watching these guys' ties has become like a second hobby for me). He warns Omar that his techniques won't work on Carla.

Undaunted, Omar tries to make a date with Carla for this evening. She reminds him that she's going to the expo, which begins tonight. "Aw, forget about the expo, who cares about that?" replies the diligent former VP of finance. He babbles some more (Fern imitates him) and complains about Lety's "image." Curiously, Carla asks Omar what his problem is with Lety - she seems like a surprising woman. (I'm starting to really appreciate Carla, even if she is up to no good!) He says "let's just say she's not a saint of my devotion." Fern points out that he's not a saint of her devotion either - more like a demon.

I have to admit, all the fighting over the chair does brighten up the rehashing somewhat.

Later, Fern and Omar continue rehashing without Carla. Omar drools about her a little bit more and reaches to move the bonsai out of the way. Fern panics and screams at him, grabbing at the plant protectively and picking at it with the scissors. Omar is saying something about using Carla to forget about Lety. Fern's not listening. Omar wants all the juicy details. Fern tells him to calm down. Omar wants to know if it was love at first sight. Fern says please, she's a woman and you must respect her! Mumbling, he leaves the room, complaining that Omar doesn't respect the female sex.

Omar grabs the plant and the scissors and prepares to make some adjustments of his own. Fern catches him before he can do any damage.

Bad news

Aldo confirms to the cuartel that Luigi will indeed be giving them makeovers. In the salon, Luigi has donned a surgical gown, bonnet, and gloves. At his command, he and his staff put on surgical masks. He crosses himself, puts on protective dark goggles, and goes in. His staff cross themselves as well.

Luigi inspects his subjects and complains. He says he's going to show them that Dr. Frankenstein isn't just someone in a movie. Today he's going to do what Dr. F did. He'll give life to these... mercifully, Aldo interrupts. Luigi assures Aldo that he'll do as he promised. He asks Martha to smile, and says he needs to file down their teeth! Irmita asks about the protective gear, and he says he needs to shield himself from their ugliness, especially his eyes. (He's saying this lightheartedly - everyone's laughing, including Aldo.) He adds that he's also protecting himself from parasites, protozoa, rotovirus, etc. Sara starts getting offended, and Juana reminds her that they're getting free makeovers.

Luigi asks to see their hooves (pezuñas), oh all right, their claws (garras). Their hands, he finally requests. They wiggle their fingers at him. He talks about Aphrodite and Venus and says he's going to need the help of all the gods. He begs the gods' forgiveness for violating the laws of nature. You know what, this is all very cute, but I'm starting to WISH they'd run an Emagrece Slim ad at this point... I guess Aldo feels the same way, because he nicely suggests that Luigi get started. The cuartel takes their seats, the surgical team beauticians come in with their masks, and the magic begins.

(What? No product placement ads for the makeup and hair care products??)

Luigi and a female beautician step outside to sneak some kisses. Kidding! I guess they're just takin' a break. Absolutely no effort is required on his part to hear what the cuartel are saying in incredibly loud voices - they want to get Aldo a gift for convincing Luigi to give them makeovers. One of them (Juana?) says "if he did that for us, just imagine what he must have written in that book he gave to Lety." Martha suggests that they sneak into Lety's office later, when no one can see, and check it out.

Luigi's day is ruined. Not only does he now know that the book wasn't meant for him - it was meant for the PLATYPUS. He pulls off the medical garb and hurries to Aldo's office for a scolding, but Aldo's not there. He has a mini-hissy-fit and petulantly scolds Aldo's chair instead. He sits in the chair and looks at some "flavor of life" artwork on Aldo's desk. "Flavor of wretchedness," Luigi moans. "Flavor of disgrace."

You know what, Luigi, your dog's not dead, so why don't you just shut the hell up right now.

Aldo's desk phone rings, and Luigi takes a message. It's the publisher of Aldo's book. He knows the event's tonight, but there's going to be a slight delay. He knows it's a serious problem, and they're working on it. He promises that the books will arrive. After the phone call, Luigi fusses some more and decides to confirm whether what he overheard was true.

Free makeovers - you get what you pay for

In the Vortex, Alicia is answering everybody else's phones in an irritable tone. More irritable than usual, I mean. She tells one caller that the beachball (Lola?) went to the pool to give herself a bath. She tells the next caller that Martha and her witch friends are getting ready to scare people at a midnight show. She tells the third caller that the constipated giraffe (Sara) has gone to the bathroom to see what's going on there, since there's nothing going on in here.

Lety (I love that white jacket - is it just me, or is that actually not too frumpy?) and Aldo come out of Lety's office. Lety asks Alicia (who looks nice in that color, I think) where everyone is. Just then, Sara loudly announces the cuartel. Aldo hurriedly covers Lety's eyes as the newly made-over cuartel marches in. (A little less goose-steppy this time, fortunately.)

I got a "free" makeover once. I don't know if it's still the case, but you used to be able to make an appointment with the makeup ladies for the brand of your choice at the "finer department stores." The object of the "free" makeover, from the makeup lady's point of view, is of course to build rapport with you and make you feel pretty so you'll buy some products. She works on commission, and they don't pay her to stand around giving out free makeup.

My pal made an appointment for the two of us to get "makeovers" from a brand which I will call Unique. The makeup lady put foundation all over us and then drew totally new faces on us. It was both amazing and grotesque. My friend was happy with the result; I was, to put it politely, "fascinated" by it. It wasn't just any new face; it was the face of a Precious Moments figurine. As drawn by cartoonist Gahan Wilson.

When I heard that Luigi was giving makeovers to the cuartel tonight, I wondered if he would be heavy-handed like the Unique lady. Instead, he basically waved a curling iron in the cuartel's general direction and called it a day. Nice job!

The cuartel line up in the usual way to show off the fruits of Luigi's genius. They've all got new clothes, new hairstyles, and I guess the makeup is different (I don't see a big change).

Irma looks a little more elegant and her hair is down. Sara looks more girly, with curled hair, jewelry, and a pink outfit. Lola's hair is down too, which makes her look younger, and PM actually looks sluttier than before, in a new Bic Banana outfit with no blouse and they've taken out the curls and crimped her hair instead. Martha's hair is in a ponytail, which makes her face look fatter.

And Juana? She has a new purse, and that's it.

Lety tells them they're the most beautiful women on the planet. "The planet of the apes!" Alibooby retorts. Lety is surprised to hear that Luigi did all of this. (She's probably surprised because she would have expected him to do a better job.) They tell her that Aldo got him to do it. She thanks him, and they begin singing his praises (literally).

Fern and Carloca enter the Vortex. Carloca seems cheerfully perplexed. Looking suspiciously at Aldo, Fern asks what they're celebrating. They (Fern and Aldo) approach one another as Aldo tells him to ask the women. Lety and Carloca haul their men back to safety.

The cuartel explain that they're getting ready for the expo. Lety snottily tells Fern that thanks to Aldo, Luigi fixed 'em up really pretty. Aldo and Fern approach each other again and are hauled back again.

Carla diplomatically tries to break the tension (again) by introducing herself to Aldo. The two of them hit it off and elope. (Don't you wish?) They are hauled apart by Lety and Fern. I am sad.

Carla tells Fern she's going to go back to the hotel, because she's tired. She approaches him for a kiss, but Sara gets between them! She asks Fern if he likes her new 'do! (Someone bleats like a sheep - I'm not sure who!) He tells her she looks very nice, but I think she has a nauseated look on her face. Fern and Carla leave, and Carla tells the cuartel they look super-nice. "We'll leave together too," Lety hollers after them, clutching Aldo's arm possessively.

Aldo says he has to go get the books for the big event. He calls the cuartel "princesses" and they squeal at him. Gag. He kisses Lety's hand, provoking more squeals. Again, I love her jacket and I want it! Except in a color that will camouflage spaghetti sauce stains.

In the main lobby (the Vortex of Boredom?)

Yazmin is admiring her reflection in the mirror. Or perhaps she's feeling jealous of that pretty girl in the round window and plotting her death. Either way, nothing interesting ever happens in the main lobby! Fern and Carloca step off the elevator. Fern is complaining that they're not a cuartel of ladies, they're a cuartel of disrespectfuls, and they belong in, not a cage, he loves them, so maybe a fishtank(? "pecera"?). Carloca adds that they won't let her kiss him.

Carla suggests that maybe this isn't coming from them, but from "someone else." Fern says the cuartel love Lety, but they would never behave like that for her, because she's so well-behaved herself. In fact, he says, she's probably scolding them right now. Carla says that the secretaries defend Lety in every way, because Lety knows how to win people's hearts.

They agree to meet up later at the expo. Carla tries to give him a kiss. Fern's hand gets in the way.

In the exec lobby (Vortex of Stupidity)

The cuartel ask Lety if Carla's explained her strategy to keep Fernando. Lety pretends not to be interested. (Juana's now wearing a sweater, but I think that's her old sweater, not a new one from the makeover.) Lety tells them that Carla is not the woman they think she is. Well, I don't know what woman they think she is, so I'm not sure what Lety means either.) They try to coax some concern out of her, but she says that if Fern and Carla have a problem, it's their problem. The cuartel groans skeptically when Lety adds that Fern and Carla look good together. They cheer Lety and she runs back to her office.

Saimon then comes out of the turbolift and practically drops dead when he sees PM. He doesn't even notice the other women. Apparently, the no-blouse, crimped-hair does something special for him. How unusual. PM slyly asks, does he remember that calendar he got her with those colored pens? Because tonight she's got a date with a guy in green. Saimon looks sadly at his blue tie, then tells her he forgives her for that other thing. "Oh, so NOW you pardon me, huh?" PM replies. She tells him it's too late for that. Lola says the women are united. Irma takes out a pair of sunglasses and tells him they're going to the grand opening of the expo. The rest of the cuartel put on their sunglasses too. They jeer at Saimon and send him away.

In the cuckoo clock

Mom's on the phone. Lety is distracted, and RoboPop prompts her to take the call. She tells Mom that of course she and Pop are invited to the expo. With all the work she's put into preparing the moles, how can she not go? She tells mom to fix herself up and they'll all go together.

A pressing issue is on RoboPop's mind - he wants to know what happened to "the executive." Lety says she's gone back to the hotel to change. RoboPop is worried that she may not be receiving the kind of hospitality befitting of a stranger among Pueblans, or somesuch. Lety scolds him for staring at her. RoboPop angrily replies that Erasmo Padilla Galarza has never looked at any woman besides Julieta Solis for many years, since that one afternoon he met her, he's never betrayed her, not even in his thoughts, even though temptation is everywhere.

This appeases Lety, and she tells him to go home and get ready. "Me with your mother?" He asks. "No, I'm going to have you go with Carla," Lety answers sarcastically. RoboPop shakes his head. (Kids these days, I tell you what.)

More scenes in the Vortex

Lety tells the cuartel it's time to go. She asks Alicia what happened to Marcia - isn't she going to the expo? Alicia says Marcia's been on a waiting list for a flight, and she's not sure whether she caught one or not. (Are you telling me that suddenly Marcia's phone is broken? After all this time, it only just now has broken? The way she abuses phones, I figured either she'd have broken it a long time ago, or else it was made of cast iron and couldn't malfunction. Maybe her battery ran down while she was nagging Fern about something.)

Alicia fishes for an invite to the expo. Lety tells her she shouldn't go to the expo without knowing what happened to her boss. "I think you'd better wait," Lety tells Alicia. "And then you can go together!" The cuartel behaves obnoxiously, as usual. Lety leaves, and Juana asks Alicia to please take out the trash. Lola tells her to answer the phones.

After the cuartel is gone, Luigi tries to sneak into Lety's office. Alicia catches him, and he casually moves away from the door. Suddenly he exclaims, "oh! You're losing some neurons!" As Alicia looks down in alarm, Luigi steals into Lety's office.

The Monster Ladyparts Seashell of Doom Sees All

Luigi starts to sit in Lety's chair, but hops away at the last second, not wishing to catch any ugly-germs. He quickly finds the book and feels sorry for himself. "The flavor of life," he whines bitterly. "For me, it's the flavor of bile, the flavor of deception." He still holds out hope that the cuartel was joking about the dedication.

He looks inside the cover and discovers, with a sinking heart, that the only joke was on him.

---

Next week
Luigi, Fern, and Omar compete for "World's biggest fool." Who will win?
Will a fairy godmother turn the clown kit into a Technicolor stagecoach so Alicia can go to the ball?
Will Marcia ever get back to Mexico and have a catfight with Carla?
And hey, where'd Tomas go?
Find out next week on La Fea Más Bella!

Labels: fea

To recap the end of yesterday's episode, Diana calls Psycho Mansion and "just happens" to get Nancy. I can't remember who pointed it out, but why is it that whenever someone calls The Big House, the appropriate person always answers the phone. But I digress. Diana wants Nancy to go into either Larry's or Peyote's bedroom and find Kike's phone number on one of their phones. I'm not quite sure why Lunkhead would have Kike's phone number, but I suppose they were possibly friends before I started watching this show. Nancy asks Diana what on earth she wants with Kike's phone number. Diana says Larry snubbed Little Doormat, now it's payback time.

Marfil and Debora are having a showdown at the jail. Debora wants Marfil to bail her out, "I'm your sister!" There's also some of the "I hate you!"--"Well, I hate you MORE!" exchange. The best part is when Debora starts begging Marfil to help her. Marfil tells Debora to apologize and beg…on her knees!

There's a meeting of the Irascible clan; Yolanda, Max, Lunkhead, Peyote, and Octave. Peyote wants to know why they've all been gathered. Octave announces that only Yolanda and Max know the story. Lunkhead pipes up "I know everything, too! Max told me!" Poor Peyote realizes she's the only one who has no idea what's going on, once again proving her point that Mama likes the boys best.

Octave tells Peyote there's a woman who is out to get the Irascible family, and in fact, is protecting Diana and Gaby. Peyote wants to know why this woman, F/G, hates the Irascibles so much. "What did you do to her, mom?" Octave tells her to quit asking questions. Finally Max steps in and tells Peyote the Irascibles will be hosting a party at Psycho Mansion, honoring F/G and the Soriano sisters. "Too much!" says Peyote, in what sounds like unaccented English.

At first Debora refuses to get on her knees and apologize for stealing Marfil's identity, but finally she does. Debora is still wearing her pink and black bathrobe-looking short dress. Marfil looks quite elegant in her all white outfit. After Debora apologizes and begs for forgiveness, she tells Marfil, "now pay my bail and get me outta here!" M--"It sucks to be you, Debora, because you can rot in this jail for all I care!" Debora is muy impactada!

Lala walks into the house where Pancho is sitting. He tells her to sit for a moment. Lala tells Pancho that she can tell by the tone of his voice that something is wrong. "Are you and Caramel fighting?" Pancho at first tries to deny it, but Lala says he can't hide it from her. "Marriage isn't honey, but making up is sweet." She then leaves and Pancho tells the camera, "If only Mamacita knew that I'm in love with two women! Peyote wants to get married – and I want to marry her – but I'm already married." What's a poor Panchalon to do?!

Lala enters Caramel's room and tells Caramel she knows about the fight. Caramel asks, "He told you?" "Yes," says Lala. Caramel goes on to tell her that Pancho said all these mean and ugly things to her and she doesn't understand why. Pancho was fine when he left that morning, but returned furious. Lala suggests that something must have happened out in the streets. Caramel asks Lala if she thinks Pancho is in love with another woman. "Of course not! I'm sure it's nothing. Perhaps you should go to the mall and buy yourself something "corte de tela." I'm sure in a few days everything will be fine." Caramel tells Lala she's crazy in love with Pancho, and if he leaves her for another woman, she'll just die!

Back to the showdown between Marfil and Debora. This scene is now getting boring to me. Marfil keeps whining that Debora is now going to pay for all the evil things she's done in the past. Debora then spits on her. Pretty good job of blocking that scene. I'd hate to be the stand-in! Debora then says she's going to kill Marfil. Marfil has "spit" dripping down her forehead. Marfil responds Debora is never going to see the light of day, when all is said and done. The scene thankfully ends with Debora screeching, "I hate you! I hate you more than ever! I hate you!"

We're now at Casa Soriano—not Casa Diego, as he'd have us believe. The doorbell rings and a voice off camera tells Gaby to get the door. It's Kike. Gaby asks what he's doing there. In walks Diana to explain everything. "I know you hate Larry, and now you're going to get the chance to humiliate him again." Kike has a look of "bring it on, sister!"

Octave is slugging down a drink of something, brandy perhaps(?), when there's a knock on the door. Nancy announces Octave has a visitor. Octave barks at her "I don't want to have any visitors!" "Not even me?" asks Reynoso as he walks into the room. Licencio Reynoso is bringing a list of names that F/G wants invited to the shindig. Octave is clearly not happy with this development.

Kike has now heard Diana's plan and loves the idea. He's going to escort Gaby to the fiesta. Gaby doesn't like the idea. Luckily for Diana, Gaby is such a pushover. Diana railroads Little Doormat into bringing Kike to the party and making both Pilar and Lunkhead jealous. Apparently Gaby is the only voice of reason, but since she has no spine, her half-hearted protests fall on deaf ears.

Octave tells Reynoso there is no way she's inviting Camila, Sylvie, or Kike to her soiree. Reynoso makes some sort of threat and Octave caves. She will include these three losers on the invite list.

Lorenzo is talking to F/G at Paco's bar. He tells her Paco is hurt that he can't escort F/G to the party. F/G says she wants to go alone with her daughters. She doesn't want her enemies to think she needs a man to protect her. That's not the image she wants to present. Lorenzo tries to be PC saying Paco loves her so much, and has been waiting for her for years. I believe he alludes to F/G stringing him along and F/G defends her actions saying Paco has known all along the way she feels.

Meanwhile, back at Psycho Mansion, Octave is saying how much she still loves Paco. She keeps repeating his name.

Good news for Debora! Some poor saps have finally come to bail her out! Heaven only knows why. It's Lunkhead and Yolanda, the Big Doormat. Octave gave them the money. She's free!!!

Max is skulking about in his room, when Octave barges in. She tells him she sent Yolanda and Larry to bail out his "wife." Max is not happy and tells her as much. Octave says FM is an "Irascible," and as such, is not going to stay in jail. She needs to be at the party. Octave goes on to say that Max had better stay away from Diana and play the role of devoted husband. Max all but stamps his foot proclaiming, "NO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!"

Peyote is leaving a message on Pancho's phone, saying she hopes he's thinking about marrying her. Just as she makes kissing noises into the phone and hangs up, in walks Emili-Oh. He tells Peyote she is looking particularly pretty today. She replies she knows. After some small talk in which he says he wants to help the family, he finally gathers up the courage to ask Peyote if she'd like to go out to dinner with him. She dismisses him completely saying dinner is annoying – dancing is more fun. Talk about raining on his little parade! He wants to help her get off the drugs. It's bad enough she casually dismisses his heartfelt proposition, she then goes on to stick a knife in his heart by telling him he's "gray" and "boring." Emili-Oh says he wants to help her, be a leader to her, blah, blah, blah. Peyote laughs at him and sinks the dagger even deeper saying he's got a nice body and is cute, but he's "gray" and she doesn't like the color "gray." She'd never be interested in someone like him. She flounces out and poor Emili-Oh looks devastated.

Pancho walks into the bedroom where Caramel is standing in front of the mirror. She is wearing a floral robe that is covering some lingerie. Pancho asks why she's not at work. Caramel, clearly sad, says she doesn't want to fight with him. Pancho feigns ignorance. When she asks where he's been, he tells her at the gym. Caramel asks if he doesn't want her any more. "Of course I do," says Pancho. "You're my little hembrita (which the dictionary describes as meaning female, doe, cow, hen), my little woman." I won't speak for Caramel, but I'd not be happy if my husband referred to me as his little cow. At any rate, Pancho says he's going to take a bath. Caramel sadly realizes there must be another woman, but what type of woman would catch his eye? Then it slowly dawns on her…Peyote!

Debora blows into Max's room shrieking as always. How could he leave her in jail for so long? Max says it wasn't that long, and besides she deserved to stay there after stealing the baby. Debora screams back that it seemed like a 1000 years, and besides, "She stole the baby and pretended it was me!" Ooops! When Max asks what the heck Debora is talking about, she hastily replies "nada." Max tries to get her to explain, but Debora is doing the Chihuahua thing. Finally Max throws her out and tells her to spend the night in her old bedroom. Debora is incensed and squawks and yips the whole time as the door closes behind her.

Debora stomps into her old room where Bruno is fixing the bed. Debora is ranting on and on about Max. Bruno is trying to calm her down. Suddenly Octave appears in the door. "My adored mother-in-law," exclaims Debora. "Thanks for bailing me out; your son Max wanted me to rot in my cell!" Octave asks if it's true that Debora stole the baby. "Of course not! Believe me!" "Whatever, forget it" says Octave. "I need to tell you about a party we're having." "Party?" asks Debora. "What party?"

Reynoso is in F/G's dressing room reporting he gave Octave the list of invitees. F/G asks if there were any problems. "Nope," says Reynoso. F/G tells him that Paco has agreed to pay for fancy dresses for her and the girls, but she doesn't know what to do about the jewelry. "Don't worry," says Reynoso. "My wife just happens to own a jewelry store and once I tell her the situation, I'm sure she'll help you out."

Debora is now mad about the proposed party. She starts yelling at Octave, who tells her to put a cork in it, "you're getting on my nerves!" Octave tells Debora she doesn't like the idea of the party either, but she has no choice. F/G has her over a proverbial barrel. Octave leaves and Debora is now ranting to Bruno. She tells Bruno Marfil is the one who stole the baby and framed her. Bruno is impactado! "But Marfil can't walk!" Debora breaks the news that Marfil is completely cured and out for revenge. Bruno grabs her heart and collapses on the bed. Debora goes on to say Marfil hates Debora and the plan was to bury Debora in jail. "She hates me!"

F/G is at Granny M's house telling the girls she's made arrangements to get dresses and jewelry for everyone. They are going to be queens. Diana is excited. Gaby is nervous. F/G states "Right now, I bet Octave has her henchwoman, Yolanda, inviting everyone." The scene fades to Yolanda on the phone, checking something off in her little black book.

The doorbell rings at Isabel's apartment. It's Bruno. She's come to talk to Marfil. Bruno tries to explain why Debora took Marfil's place. Marfil yells at her and calls her a traitor. You tried to hide me here with Isabel, but Isabel helped me get better and now you all are going to pay for your treason. Debora can rot in jail now! Bruno, in between sobs, begs for forgiveness. She then tells Marfil that Debora got bailed out and is back at the mansion. Not the best thing to tell Marfil. Lots of yelling, Bruno groveling, and Isabel finally throwing Bruno out.

Gratuitous scene of Max and Larry in skimpy bathing suits discussing the party. Larry asks Max if Diego will be there.

Diana walks out of the bedroom into the living room where Diego is sitting. Diana babbles on and on about how great the baby is. Diego tells her to sit down, they need to talk. "For the 1000^th time, I don't want you going to Psycho Mansion to that party. "I'm sorry, Diego. I'm going whether you like it or not," says Diana petulantly.

Marfil and Isabel are discussing the party. Marfil says tonight she's going to reclaim her place as Max's wife. Isabel doesn't understand how she's going to pull it off. *** I don't understand either. Can someone explain their exchange to me? I'm just too tired to replay this scene 50 times to figure it out myself. ***

F/G walks into Paco's office, but Paco isn't there. Only Caramel. F/G has an updo and a long black dress with a bunch of dead-bird feathers around her neck and shoulders. Caramel does a double take and tells F/G she looks "mah-velous. Simply mah-velous!" F/G says the only ones she wants to see with open mouths are Octave and Yolanda.

Switch to Granny M's house where Diana and Gaby are getting ready. They both appear to be wearing bridesmaid's dresses. Gaby's is lavender and has an empire waist and lavender gauze over the top. Diana's dress is red with a pink gauzy thing and some faux bauble in the middle that is attached to a string that ties around her neck. It reminds me of the type of dress Cleopatra would wear. There is no shape to Diana's dress. At least they're not wearing dead animals. Gaby still has on her ubiquitous glasses. Diana takes the glasses away and demands that Gaby put in contacts. I must say Gaby cleans up nicely, so you can imagine where this is going. Diana is excited, Gaby is nervous.

Paco walks in and tells F/G how wonderful she looks. He warns her to be careful at the Irascibles. More discussions about how she's using the girls as pawns and her telling him the girls will be fine. Does this woman ever think of anyone besides herself? I am truly losing sympathy for her!

Pancho is at Granny M's house getting Diego all riled up, as if Diego wasn't already riled. Pancho tells Diego that F/G is a crazy woman. I must agree with him on this point. Gaby walks out and pours salt in the wound by telling Diego he's not going to believe how beautiful his wife looks. Diana walks out and Pancho announces she must be all dolled up for Max. Diana asks Max if he's got anything to say. ***Diana truly is dumber than a box of rocks. She can't honestly think Diego is going to be happy.*** He tells her, yet again, that he doesn't want her going to the party. Pancho stands there smirking. Diego sits there sulking.

F/G and Paco are still fighting. Actually, F/G is droning on and on again about how Octave stole her house and killed her husband. Poor Paco is just standing there taking it. Paco really needs a good woman who can appreciate what a wonderful, tolerant, faithful guy he is. This world truly needs more men like Paco! Anyway, he finally suggests they leave.

Debora is whining to Max about the party. She says Octave's face looks bitter. Given that Octave's face never moves, I'm not sure how Debora can tell. Max says the evening is going to be hard on Octave. Debora also refers to Diana as a tick (Una garrapata). ***What a wonderful description!*** Debora is also wearing a black dress with what appears to be the clone of F/G's dead-bird feathers. Her hair looks like something out of Petticoat Junction or Gunsmoke. She also has some bright pink lipstick that glows in the dark and looks like it was put on with a trowel. Max tells her "First of all, Diana is not a tick!" Secondly, you'd better be on your best behavior."

LET THE PARTY COMMENSE!!!!!

Lala opens the door and in walks Camila in some skanky peach dress exposing her navel. Her dress has the same tacky bauble between her breasts as Diana's, along with the attached string that ties around her neck. She is clinging to the arm of Doc Evil.

Sylvie, ah Sylvie. Never the one to disappoint!!! She shows up on Andres' arm wearing something out of a cabaret, complete with three huge yellow plumes sticking out of her blond wig. There are also lots of Mardi Gras beads hanging from her wig as well. They appear to be the first arrivals. Andres is mocking Sylvie's outfit. She tips her head to hit Andres in the face with the plumes and calls him indiorante. This word is not in my dictionary. None of them can figure out why they've been invited to the party.

We're now at Isabel's apartment. The camera is focused on the fabric that passes for a door. We hear Isabel asking if she can come in. As she walks in, she says how elegant and beautiful Marfil looks. The camera slowly pans from the floor up to Marfil, who is dressed in a pink dress with dead Easter bunnies around her shoulders. Marfil announces she's ready to go to the party and reclaim her spot as Max's wife.

We return from commercial break to see the party that has been hyped for three days or so. There are maybe 15 people in the room, and boring cocktail music is playing in the background. There are a bunch of extras passing as guests. Now there's a job I'd like – play the role as a guest at a party. Bruno is dressed up and actually looks like a woman. Her hair actually looks normal when it's not slicked back. Poor Yolanda is dressed in a hideous lime dress that laces up the back and, I believe, has some long fringe that hangs from her hips like that fringe in the infamous lamp from "A Christmas Story." It is not flattering and I feel bad she got stuck wearing it. I wonder if she earned extra pay to wear the get-up.

Max pulls Octave aside and tells her she'd better change her expression. Unfortunately, I don't think she can help it. She tells Max she's dying from humiliation. It's hard to focus on the conversation because Sylvie is in the background sticking her feathers in everyone's face. All I can focus on is yellow feathers.

Debora is asking Emili-Oh when that pelusa, AKA "lint," is going to arrive. Emili-Oh tells her to mellow out. Debora whines to stop defending that "zopilota." Zopilota is not in my dictionary either, but I can tell it's not flattering.

As Debora walks off, Andres stops her and says to meet him in the library. Debora says "no way!" Andres promises to make a scene and tell everyone she's an imposter if she doesn't do what he says. The library is suddenly looking pretty good to Chihuahua-on-crack-girl, and she heads in that direction.

Once in the library, Andres follows her in. He comments how good she looks in her dress with the dead-bird feathers. Debora says they can't stay there for long or her husband may catch them. "Let me remind you, I'm the only husband you have." With that, Andres grabs her and forces her to kiss him. It turns into some face-sucking event, with the day-glo pink lipstick smeared everywhere. Yuk! In the midst of all this passion, who should happen to catch them in the act, but Camila. At first she is impactada, then she starts smirking!

The doorbell rings and in walk Rene and Pilar. Pilar hones in on Larry and kisses him on the cheek, thoughtfully wiping off the lipstick she's left. Larry looks none too happy that Pilar is there. Peyote makes a snarky remark and Rene tries to get everyone to calm down. At that moment, the doorbell rings again. . .

F/G walks in with her nose in the air, followed by her faithful stoolies, Diana and Gaby. Reynoso brings up the rear. I now count 17 people standing stiffly on this sound stage. So much for this huge society party. What a joke! The cheesy cocktail music continues to play. I'd rather watch paint dry than hang out at a party as dull as this. "Buenas Noches!" states F/G. Lots of glares, stares, and dopey looks. F/G and Octave shoot death-ray looks at each other. Doc Evil is staring at Diana. Max has on his best "bitter beer face." Close up of Pilar staring. And so it goes. The only one who seems truly happy is Peyote. But that's probably because she's high.

I'm really disappointed with this party as the credits roll. What a letdown!

Labels: acorralada