Friday, May 04, 2012

Abismo de pasión #39 5/03/12: Horacio = fail, Augusto = fail, Ingrid = fail, Florencia = fail, Others = not much better.


Old beans, courtesy of EJ and Marta:
EJ - "Elisa is pregnant. No she is not. Prove it. Not only is she not preggers, she is still a virgin. So there."
Marta - PP: No need for a doctor from this funky-smelly town! I don’t trust them! I did the pregnancy test at Elisa’s and it was positive. Dam: And why precisely in front of Elisa? PP: I did it when she convinced me to do it. And if this serves to get Elisa away from you and stop bugging between us, I don’t regret it! Dam: Regardless, I want Dr Tovar to examine you to be sure you are cargada. PP:  No! We are sure! We are having a baby! Those tests are reliable! And I don’t get why you doubt me. Dam: All this is so strange… even more now that it turns out your friend Kenya is also cargada with a child of Paolo’s. 

New beans:
Unfrigginbelievable, Damian does not automatically believe that Flor is pregnant, and he is suspicious because her friend Kenia is. Is this a telenovela first?  “No me digas!” Flor exclaims, feigning surprise at Kenia’s condition. “That must be why she came to La Ermita!”

Outside the clinic Begone-ya gives Paloma a hard time for “flirting” with Gael right outside her workplace, gasp! Paloma suggests she go inside where the chisme is hotter. Damien and Flo are having a “discussion”; they, ahem, ate the cake before the wedding so to speak. Paloma tells Gael that Flor deserves a slice of chisme instead of Elisa for a change.

Begone-ya rushes right on in and congratulates the half-happy couple. What does Alfonsina have to say about this preemptive strike? Damian cringes.

Paolo visits crying Kenia, not to see how she’s doing but to helpfully remind her it’s her own fault she lost the baby because she stole his bike. “No, it’s YOUR fault!”, she screams, “Largate imbecile!” (Just for fun I put that in the Google translator and it came up with “Take off asshole!”)

Ingrid slyly calls the clinic from work to find out about Kenia but hangs up when Maru comes back into the office. This telenovela has too many crappy mothers in it. And all the nice ladies are childless. No fair! 

Enriquito visits pop at work just as Begone-ya rushes in exclaiming about the latest chisme. Damian and Flor are expecting! Enriquito leaves in a snit. Gordito grumpily asks why she’s there and frankly...she’s forgotten. No matter, she’s off to “congratulate” Alfonsina.

Dam visits Padre Lupe to tell him Elisa said she doesn’t know what she feels for Dam and she wants him to leave her in peace. Then he drops the bomb that he can’t dump Flor because she’s expecting his child. Cara impactada de padre. 

Over at the The Only Bakery in La Ermita some bitch shuns Elisa. Looks like Operation Begone-ya Blabs was a success. Antonia arrives and is about to lose her shirt, no really.  Did you see it start to fall off? She tries to apologize to Elisa for something bad about her but Lolita chases her off.

Paolo, who only uses force when necessary, has a meltdown because he found his precious bike in the country, rolled, destroyed and alone (his exact words, LOL). To Flor’s credit, she can’t believe his insensitivity, only caring about the bike and not at all about Kenia. Aw heck, he says, quit yer bitching because Alfonsina paid Kenia off and Flor tricked Damian with the fake pregnancy so everything turned out just fine for her.

OK, pay attention now because this next scene is a winner. The Tangel-ho and her two cantaloupes have paid Alfonsina a surprise visit. Orangina says she couldn’t wait to see Alfonsina’s face, allow her be the first to congratulate Fina for being a happy grandmother. Just wait until the news spreads around the pueblo about Fina and her “respectable” family, bwahahaha! “Piffle,” says Fina, “mere rumors.”  The Tangel-ho’s eyes practically pop out of her head like ripe kumquats, “Soon every corner will be buzzing with the news about your son and his novia of questionable morals. See bitch, my family’s not the only pack of skanks in town!”

Gael sits in Kenia’s room. Is it the call of the blood? She wakes and doesn’t remember that he was the one who saved her. When he introduces himself she breaks into tears of joy, “Gael, what a great name.” He’s got to be wondering why all these new chicks in town keep acting so weird around him. Kenia tells him this must be what it feels like to have a big brother. Uh, OK.

Begone-ya has literally sprinted over to Hacienda Harango to congratulate Alfonsina. Which should they do first, the baby shower or the boda? Oh the boda first of course! Alfonsina rather too kindly dismisses her friend, she’s suddenly got a pain in the ass, er headache. (Snort! Get a load of Fina’s face.) 

Back at Casa Castañon Elisa remarks to Lolita that Tonia said something she didn’t understand. Tonia wanted to apologize for saying bad things about Elisa but Lolita rudely ran Tonia off before she could explain. Lolita huffs they are all the same at Hacienda Harango and talking about Tonia turns her stomach. Elisa needles her about Braulio.

Lucio goes to the rectory looking for Gael. Padre invites him for coffee and Lucio accepts because he’s so lonely at home. He can’t stand to think about the way that Blanca died. He’s trying to move on, not only for himself but for Elisa who is now more alone than ever since Blanca’s death. Poor guy, I want to hug him and make a grilled cheese sandwich for him.

Assgusto ambushes Elisa so he can force a pathetic apology on her. He regrets what he did. Hmmmph, she regrets that he believes her word is worth nothing. He asks how the trip to Merida went. Pretty much a failure, she says, just like he predicted. But wait, Crap Dad’s not done yet. Tia Carmina told him the chisme about Dam and Flor and he’s happy for them. So happy that he doesn’t want Dam to ever darken their door again.
Flor gets home and finds Enrique waiting for her. Boo hoo he’s heartbroken that she’s expecting a baby and the wedding will go on as planned. 

Next up at bat is Alfonsina. “Because of you we’re in every mouth in town!” (Yuck, must taste bitter.) Amazingly Flor admits that her embarazo es una mentira. She and Kenia cooked up the plot to rip Dam away from Elisa, but now she’s in a bind. “Help me, I don’t know what to do.” Fina grabs Flor and hustles her out of the room. “What we’re going to do is talk to Damian right now!” Say what you will about the Black Widow, she knows how to take control.

Gael is still with Kenia. She admits that she’s not really Flor’s friend, just the chick that got knocked up by Flor’s uncle Paolo. “No offense, but he’s the world’s worst lout,” observes Gael. Then he offers to call Kenia’s family for her, her mother maybe? Cue Ingrid and her weird, bobbing curls. 

Elsewhere Horacio is busily hacking at Damian’s saddle strap or cinch or whatever it’s called.

Damian strides up ready for his ride, with Fina and Flor hot on his heels. Fina says they need to talk AHORA! “Not now ma, I need to ride,” he says. Flor says she wants to ride too. Damian and I both go “Huh?” He reminds her she’s afraid of horses. Horacio is in the background, fidgeting and waiting for yet another of his ill-fated booby-traps to go terribly wrong.

Clingwrap gets her way, the couple ride off and moments later down they tumble. Dam takes control, “Mom call the doctor, Horacio get the horse and find out what happened, Flor everything will be fine!” But Flor’s not fine because she certainly does NOT want to get examined. 

Back at the clinic...
Kenia: Glare. I’m feeling better...ma’am.
Ingrid: Gael, I’ll call her mother, bad news is better coming from a woman.
Gael: See ya.
Kenia: I lost my baby, boo hoo. Alfonsina gave me money and I’m outta here.
Ingrid: How much money?
Kenia: Enough to start over. And by the way, I don’t want to see you ever again!

Begone-ya is on the phone making sure everyone knows the Elisa chisme that Alfonsina made Begone-ya swear not tell while knowing full well her yap would be flapping all over town. Ironically, Alfonsina has been trying to get through to the Tovar residence for the past fifteen minutes. “I need to talk to your husband right now!!” Doc Tovar heads off to the centro with Enrique trailing behind. Begone-ya excitedly picks up the phone with the new chisme about Flor.

Oh man, just when I was starting to think Elisa would have a tear-free day. She’s on her bed weeping, listening to their theme song, and remembering Damian’s kiss, sniff sniff. And that’s it, that was the obligatory crying scene.

Over at the clinic Enrique gets on Dam’s case for taking a pregnant Flor riding. Dam asks what business is it of Enrique’s and what is he doing there anyway? “Enrique, why do you seem more concerned than I?”

Paloma goes to the Pro Ces A Dor A to talk to her friend Damian about Elisa. Unfortunately Gabino finds her first and he doubts very much that Damian is friends with a witch’s granddaughter. Gabino throws her to the ground (the cad!) but luckily Maru sees and shoos him out. Maru tells Paloma that Dam is at the clinic with Flor. Paloma’s arm is bruised and I hope Damian sees it and asks why.

Stalker Ingrid is back at the rectory acting like an insufferable weirdo. She says for the 20th time she hopes Gael doesn’t have a bad impression of her. And for the 20th time he asks why should she care what he thinks? He tells her (finally!) he thinks it’s odd that she keeps sniffing around.

Padre shows up after Irritating Ingrid leaves and Gael admits She came to visit. Again. There is something very odd going on between that woman and Padre and Gael wants to know what it is! Naughty padre lies (badly) that he’s not hiding anything. He changes the subject, “Hey look at the pretty shiny object”, and tells Gael that Lucio and Elisa couldn’t get a loan.

Lucio visits Elisa to share an idea. Why doesn’t she make a contract with Damian? He’s sure Dam would help. No way, says Elisa. She won’t ask Damian or his stupid family for any favors.

Gabino slimes into the cantina to torment Horacio for buggering up Damian’s accident. These two just keep banging their heads against the wall. 

Orangina is bored so she decides to torture Elisa. ‘Oh, you’re crying.” (Lady, she is always crying!) Agent Orange is on a roll, she tells Elisa that everyone she touches dies....her mother, her baby brother, and Blanca. I don’t know why Elisa doesn’t state the obvious, that the titian Tangel-ho seems to be fine and more vibrantly orange than ever.

Fina has joined Dam (and Enrique hovering in the background) just in time for Doc Tovar’s prognosis. No neck or spine damage, and hey, false alarm, she’s not pregnant either. 

It’s a telenovela record, a false pregnancy cleared up within two episodes! What other telenovela cliche will Flor come up with to retain Damian?


Avances: Carmina and Paolo make eyes at each other. BUT Elisa calls Carmina on her perfidy and Assgusto stands behind her (it appears). Florencia is unmasked! (Not for long, I’m sure.)

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Thursday, May 03, 2012

El Talismán #67 Thu 5/3/12 Tonio Lies,El Viral Stalks

 

This will be a short bullet style recap. I missed the first ten to fifteen minutes of this capitulo today. Hubby had eye surgery early this morning and we got home just as the program was airing. He is fine and resting now so I will put up this recap.

Pedro and Marina are talking. He assures her everything he said is true. He leaves.

Tonio comes to see Mariana and confronts him with the fact that he got her pregnant just for El Tal. He wants to know where she heard this? She says Pedro. He says Pedro lies and Mariana is confused. Tonio tells her Pedro had a contract out on her to kill her. Santiago comes to the door and Tonio gets rid of him. Mariana wants to know who it was? Tonio says noone. Mariana doesn't remember anything. She wants to know if she was in love with Pedro, and Tonio tells her oh, yeah you were (liar, liar pants on fire). Pedro only married you for the money and El Tal. And besides he wanted to give the money to Cameela. He tells her she had and Aunt Patty, but she recently died. Mariana is upset that her Tia died. Tonio keeps pressing the point that Pedro is a liar, but for once Mariana isn't buying it. She says I don't beleive your claptrap. He tells her he has proof and hands over the fake newspaper article. He goes. She looks at it and is so shocked she has to sit down.

Cameela is nervous that Pedro went to see Mariana. Sarita and Padre tell Cameela to trust Pedro. Pedro comes back and Cameela wants to know what they talked about? They go back to El Tal so they can talk. Pedro tells Cameela he told Mariana he married her to give the baby a name and that they were always like brother and sister. Cameela wants to know what else. Well they kissed. KISSED!!!!! Oh, noes you didn't. You don't kiss your sister! He tries to explain that Mariana didn't remember anything and wanted to see if there were any feelings there. He tells Cameela that he told Mariana that he only loves Cameela, (what is this high school). As a matter of fact, he wants her to come with him to Mariana's. She really doesn't want to go but he talks her into it. They get to Mariana's and Cameela wants to leave, but Pedro says stay and talk to her. Mariana opens the door and is quite pithed off to see them there. She wants to know why Pedro didn't tell her, he was giving money to Cameela? She wants Pedro and Cameela to tell her the truth. Pedro you just wanted my money right? They both deny that, and Cameela is very indignant! They both want to know where she heard this from. She says Tonio of course! Don't beleive Tonio he is a liar. Mariana wants them to confess. She shows them the newspaper article.

Pigorio is out of the hospital and Doris is in the room with him, and just about the time they are getting cozy, who should walk in, (wait for it) Lucrazy. She wants to know why Doris is still here? She is divorced from Tonio now and she shouldn't be there. Then crazy as Lucrazy is, she senses something isn't right here. She has a little clue and asks them if they have something going on? Oh, they deny it of course. Pigorio turns it on her and says the obsession she has with Pedro is going to land her in all kinds of trouble and to stay away from El Tal. After Lucrazy leaves, Pigorio says something about Doris doing something and if she does, she will, wait for it, largate mi rancho para siempre!

Tracy and Panchito are on the porch talking and she asks him if he went to see Rennie by any chance and was it for Pigorio? Panchito hems and haws and says yeah kind of. Tracy tells Panchito in her English, Rennie is very dangerous, and in spanish muy peligroso. Panchito says his Papa is more than muy peligroso and not to worry. Lucrazy comes out and wants a cafecita and Tracy goes. Lucrazy tries to pump Panchito for info on Doris and Pigorio but Panchito isn't saying anything.

Tonio and Lucrazy are having a conversation and basically it was that they enjoy Pedro and Cameela's non wedding. Tonio swears he will get Cameela back by hook or by crook. He says Mariana doesn't remember anything and he has put thoughts in her head. Lucrazy tells him Cameela won't give up Pedro. Au contraire, is what Tonio says. I will find a way to make El Viral, oh noes, make Cameela marry me.

We find out Santiago's mother is in Mexico and Padre is determined to find her.

Manuel is at the hospital and tells the receptionist that Mariana is spending the whole day with Pedro. He asks if any patients have appointments, and she says no, but there is a woman in his office. He asks if it is Maria, she says no, an old friend of yours. He goes to his office and it is , wait for it, El Viral who today is a stalkerazi. She is all smiles and he asks her what she is doing there? She says to see you MI AMOR, get real already! She found out he was in town and just had to see him, and that their relationship was so intense, (oh please, someone, anyone, give HER the sleepytime tea). He looks at her like she is loca, and he tells her in no uncertain terms that Maria is the love of his life.

There were some things with Army, Angel, Maria, Flor and Fabi and their friends and they are mooning over lost love.

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Tonio is doctoring those pills again.

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Una Familia Con Suerte #233-234 Wed 5/2/12 Happy New Year

I am afraid this one might be a little jumbled: at some point last night, I got up. When I sat back down at the TV, I must have started my notes again, but in a different notebook. I don't know which one is which, so there could be a little time gap.

Anyway, the curtains rise on Lamberto (Beto's) Bunker of Love. They just finished a romantic dinner surrounded by livestock in cages (there's even a lamb. Can you imagine Beto killing a lamb?), and Ketita is still only mildly freaked out. She decides to perform a little psychology on him. He quickly admits that his anxiety is a result of his childhood - he was always "el nerd" and the other children picked on him. He used to go to sleep praying to not go to school the next days. This is just the right thing to say to a motherly Ketita, who gives him a kiss!

Much of the Lopez family assembles for the New Year's dinner. Lupita feels bad for killing Tomas' dream, but not *that* bad.

Doña Rebe and Candi must be extremely limber by now, because they've been doing stretches outside Pancho's house since last night's episode. Two identical-twin (down to their caps and goatees) delivery men show up with packages for Ana. Doña Rebe is smitten, but they're more interested in Candi. They love the calendar, they tell her. She gets a funny look, like maybe she just realized that those photos going public might not have been as nice a thing as she thought it was. The two men give their opinions on the best photos. "I like the schoolgirl." "I like Santa Claus."

Both of Ana's suitors, in their respective homes, are very pleased with themselves. "There's no way he could think of something this good!"

Doña Rebe and Candi crowd in on Ana... "open it, open it, don't read the note, just open it!" Adrian has sent her a fancy heart necklace with "AA" engraved for their initials. Booring... What did Freddy send? It looks like a picture frame and a mushy note. Poor Adrian... Ana's really gonna string him along before choosing Freddy. But she doesn't know that yet. The ladies are going to take her out for a makeover.

Doc Oc has good news - his condition is stable and he's taking Fernanda on a vacation!

Chucha, the fat maid is in love, as she tells Rebe. I don't know if they're making a cruel joke on her size, but the animated hearts that flash around her when she says so are brown and look like chocolate. Public Safety Announcement: she's been using contraceptives. Kind of sad that the second thing Rebe asks was "what if you get pregnant?" Hah, she doesn't want to lose a maid.

I can't help but laugh at poor Arnold's plight - Barbs just demands too much lovin! He's pretty funny. Likewise, Pancho has no sympathy and happily leaves the room when she shows up in a hot minidress.

Now the New Year's party can get started - the Astroloco is in the building! At dinner, he reads fortunes - I mean horoscopes. Doña Rebe is in for some prohibited love, and Candi has some dark signs. Pancho cuts Mario off right there, though. Realizing that he needs to lighten it up a bit, the Astro-nut gives his prediction for the new year: excitement and love! We see everybody's individual new-years countdowns: Beto in his boonkair, the Lopez in their place, Barb and Arnie dressed as romans in their private little bacchanalia (lol), and Chacho all alone.

Poor Sebastian thinks about his dead kid, who was asking to spend more time with him. He misses Pina...

Ana has a hilarious dream. Her, Pancho, Adrian, and Fred are all wearing giant stuffed heads and costumes (like mascots). Pancho shoots the starter gun and Ana (with her stuffed Accordeon) looks on in dismay as the two boys with giant heads race towards her. It's a tie and they leap on her. She wakes up and says "hmmm, I wonder what it means?" Dummy.

We meet Chucha's boyfriend, who's come to help her clean up after the party (chalk this one up on the list of random filler subplots, right next to the Astroloco). His name is Tiburcio, he's a little person, and Pancho makes some jokes at his expense but everyone forgives him because he's Pancho.

Meanwhile Barbs goes at Arnie for "round 10."

Sensing that the time is right, Frida makes an appearance at La Casa Popular. Pepe takes her out to eat, where she finds out he dumped la Sirena. She can barely restrain her glee, and very sweetly lets him know that *she* values him and would marry him at the drop of a hat. She makes an attempt, but he won't kiss her. Awww, what a dummy (Pepe).

Rebe is nauseous and has a headache and Palpitations. Pancho calls the doctor and then races out to get some sort of pressure gauge. Why not take her to this hospital? Doña Rebe comes in to fuss over her daughter. How sweet!

Candi and Doña Rebe make a really fun team. They discuss Karaoke, and I would LOVE to see them ham it up singing together. They take Ana out to get makeup and new clothes. There is some surprisingly dramatic music for the makeup sequence. Huh? Then Ana comes out (we don't see her) and the older ladies gape at her and there's a cut to commercials. Seriously, is a new outfit what passes for a cliffhanger now?

Pancho has taken to yelling for Chucha, just like Pina did. He admits to Enzo that he just likes yelling. I knew it!

Karina has sent Fred a text, urgently needing to see him! Fred ignores it, because he has enough on his plate and doesn't want to see her. Kari (at Monica's house) is telling everyone that it's a life-or-death matter, and Enzo lets slip that Fred is over at Pancho's house. The no-self-esteem stalker-chick pops up over there and announces that she's carrying Fred's baby! Uhhhh what? Wasn't Mérida a long time ago?

Fred has to snap out of it pretty fast, though, because Ana just arrived in her new getup. Incidentally, so did Adrian. Ana's outfit is hot but a few miles over the top. She's wearing a big black hat, gem-studded sunglasses, a black minidress with a torso cutaway surrounded by rhinestones, and sequined platform heels. Everyone gapes. Ana, however goes right to Kari. "What are you doing in my house, pelo de elote [corn hair]?"She gleefully replies "me and Fred are pregnant!"

That's all for last night. Did you guys notice the new animated transition-clips to signal the end of commercials? Also, it's back to the hospital next episode...


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Abismo de pasión #38 5/2/12: TRUTH OR DAREs and a VERY BUSY DAY of 'cargadas' in Dr Whipped's HEALTH CENTER...



 Tonight's recap courtesy of Marta Ivett


Replay of argument between siblings Alfie and Loopy… what kind of brother are you if you won’t support me?? … you should know by now I don’t support your schemes… you can’t try to rule over your son’s life! If DamNut did fall for Elisa, that is something you yourself brought about… you always tried so hard to separate them since they were kids… you know that what is forbidden is what is most tempting…    I don’t know why I came…  … (she leaves)… well, now that you mention it, frankly neither do I..
 
 
Kenya has her accident with the tree root strategically popped out up into the middle of the road…
 
 
Gabino laughs at the beat-up face of UnkaHunk… they talk about Elisa and whether she is worth the hassle. Gabino comments that Stefie was beautiful and the auntie does not sing rancheras badly either.
 
 
At Merida, Elisa is depressed, no bank is willing to lend us the money… Lucio tries to encourage her, to no avail. He tells Elisa that Blanca kept asking he not give up when he was looking for a job. Elisa says her intentions are to help out her father. Lucio says do it for yourself, not for your dad. To show herself she can move forward on her own… Elisa is still very reluctant. Lucio asks Elisa if she would be willing to lien her mother’s lands as guarantee on the loan. She refuses, she could lose them.
 
 
DamNut arrives at Castanon manor… Lola is hosting him but Nemo-Ho arrives and sends her away. Nemo-Ho asks Dam to leave before DeadBrain gets home. Dam says I will stay and DARE DeadBrain to tell me to leave himself… Nemo-Ho slips a comment about DamNut having more courage than his father. DamNut questions whether she got to know his father enough to be able to say something like that.  Nemo-Ho claims Rosie let himself be convinced by her sister to escape together, which caused his death. Killer stare by DamNut
 
 
Oh shoot!! Where was it that we had that old-organ type of music in a novela before? … those long bass dreadful sounds…  while Kenya picks herself up from the road…
 
 
Ingrid makes it all the way to Cielo Abierto...  Gael is surprised to see her, must be really important what she has to tell him to have come all the way here… she would give anything to erase the bad image he must have of her at this moment. Lets take a walk… ok
 
 
At Huarango, Alfie confronts Paolo… (since now he is useless for her in entertaining Elisa), she wants Kenya AND him to leave… she has no need to referee between DamNut and UnkaHunk, he is not interested in the job at the pro-ce-sa-do-ra, so his presence there is harming Princess Poop, the only reason you came here was to hide from Kenya.. that issue is already settled so you have no reason to hide out here anymore… so backtrack your steps back to Mexico, on the double!
 
 
Lucio shows Elisa where her mother and Rosendo had the accident… she gets upset/moved, she had never seen the scene of the accident before… Lucio says she was very little when it happened. She does remember it was Nemo-Ho who told her. She remembers her dad locked himself in his study for many days… she can’t stop thinking about it. She can still hear Nemo-Ho’s screams when Stefie locked her in the room… and when her father arrived and said Stefie had escaped with Rosendo Arango… Lucio is very understanding and supportive, putting an arm around her but not stopping her from releasing all her feelings… Suddenly  .. she realizes that it doesn't add up to, that if her mother was escaping from La Ermita, why did the accident occur as if they were headed in the opposite direction? … it is very strange.
 
 
At Harango’s… phone rings and Tonita tells Paolo ‘it’s the same woman that called you the other day!’
Carmina DARES Paolo to figure out a way to recover the ground he lost the last couple days with Elisa.
UnkaHunk is fed up with several people reading him the same company policy… Once she hangs up, Nemo-Ho keeps poking DamNut to try to get him to leave..  he tells her if it is regarding Elisa, he has all the patience in the world.. (I heard a very similar line in CS ’93) then Nemo-Ho changes target of her ironic attacks and DARES Lola to switch places, Nemo will put on an apron and serve the guests herself. Lolita accepts the switch. As Lolita leaves the room, Nemo-Ho spots the pregnancy test in the trash can.
 
 
Gael is walking with Ingrid, recommends that she not trust Gabino so much with her job at the pro-ce-sa-do-ra ... when he suddenly spots Kenya and runs to help her. Gael asks Ingrid if she had seen this young girl... Ingrid denies ever seeing Kenya before.  OUCH!!
 
 
Elisa gets home… she is not happy to see DamNut is there…She is not thrilled of what her dad will say to see him there… All DamNut cares about is that he loves her. Elisa tells DamNut she is not so sure she wants to face what they would have to face… she LIES telling him she does not love her enough…
Just as the air gets a bit heavy between them… out comes Nemo-Ho waving the pregnancy test at her and insulting her about the positive pregnancy test… ‘your dad will die when he finds out you are ‘cargada’ from … from who knows what guy’… (killer stare from DamNut for Elisa)
Elisa tells Nemo-Ho it is not what she is thinking, there is an explanation, but she wants DamNut to leave before she explains… DamNut won’t leave, wants to hear the explanation first… Nemo-Ho goes away to get DeadBrain… DamNut questions Elisa, are you cargarda? How can it be? With whom? .. Elisa says she does not need to give him any explanation… HE asks her not to let him believe what everyone says about her… She insists she wants nothing to do with him anymore… he says fine, this is Burger King, have it your way … of course Elisa stays alone crying and Lola comforts her (haven’t we seen this sequence before? )…Elisa whines…  there can be nothing between DamNut and I… Elisa does tell Lola that the pregnancy test belonged to Princess Poop… now Lola understands why Elisa kept quiet…
 
 
Back at road, Gael leaves an increasingly hysterical Ingrid (what is it she is so afraid of on the open road in the middle of the day?)… Gael runs to get help… Kenya reaches for Ingrid and asks her for help… Ingrid just stands there, seems to be getting sick at the sight or smell of her own daughter’s blood…
 
 
At Harango’s, Alfie wants PP to tell her what happened last night… Princess Poop tells Alfie she got ‘cuddly’ with DamNut last night but he rejected her… Alfie reprimends PP on her approach at trying to retain DamNut … PP gets desperate and asks Alfie for help… she is at a loss… Alfie says you are falling down to level with Elisa Castanon. You can’t behave like her and then expect to keep DamNut with you! … PP resents the comparison: yes, I made a mistake. Kenya advised me… KENYA?? I can’t believe you listened to her!... I already solved the Kenya annoyance… but if you really want to keep DamNut, behave like a decent woman, not like Elisa. You have to be the flip side of the coin! Is that clear? (eh.. no)
 
 
DeadBrain arrives home.. is ready to slap Elisa, Lola defends her… DeadBrain accuses Elisa of being worse or same as her mother… Nemo-Ho sinks the knife deeper, DAREs Elisa to deny she is ‘cargada’ (she should get an Assistant District Attorney job, she seems to have a ‘gift’ to make at least SOME people believe anything that comes out of her fish lips)… throwing some more insullts for good measure.
Elisa cannot tell the whole truth… but since DeadBrain questions her ‘word’, she DARES him to believe her… he says its not good enough.. She then DARES him to take her to the clinic so she can prove it.
 
 
Ramona rolls her donkey wagon to the scene of the accident… Irritable Insensitive Ingrid is literally just standing there. Ramona is in disbelief that Ingrid can just stand there… Ramona tells Ingrid the TRUTH, This young lad ‘esta muy mal!’  III takes her exit all hysterical, yelling she does not want to be there when Gael returns.. Ramona even more confused…  In her agony, Kenya asks about Paolo and  ‘mi bebe’..
 
 
Back at Castanon manor, Paolo came to see Nemo-Ho… to show her that she does not need help from noone. Nemo-Ho DARES him to show him he does… he SHOWS her she is wrong… (ok, that is sick).
(after commercial, we get the signature slap of the episode)… Nemo-Ho DARES ask him who do you think you are?? … he tells the TRUTH, that she is really so attractive she is irresistible and he can tell another TRUTH, he prefers more experienced attractive women… Nemo-Ho pokes him about having an easier time seducing young’uns, saying he can’t kiss a woman except by force… he says he does that when there is no other option… Nemo-Ho DARES him to take a woman without using force… claims he can only take young ‘uns… she DARES him to leave before DeadBrain returns, or DB can beat him up like Damian did, or even kill him. UnkaHunk throws one last dart DARE, it is curious you drool when you speak of your husband… oh by the way,  isn’t it strange that you married precisely with your late sister’s husband?  UnkaHunk DARES her to spill the details ..
 
 
Lucio arrives at Cielo Abierto and finds a very anxious Gael that is urging him to help take Kenya to the clinic.  Up the road, Ramona is still with Kenya trying to get her to drink some water… Gael and Lucio arrive, and as they carry Kenya to the pickup (nice pickup owned by an elder man who has not worked in many years and whose wife was a seamstress at a small town)… Ramona lets Gael and Lucio know Kenya is pregnant (‘cargada’, haven’t heard that term for preggers in ages!)
 
 
And now the scene that made me think of the ‘TRUTH OR DARE’ theme…
Alfie goes to visit GossipGirl… Alfie is faking being very anxious and disturbed by the situation…
Alfie: I only need a GOOD FRIEND to LISTEN … you know, I have to tell the TRUTH to someone!
GG: You can TRUST me.
Alfie: You have no idea what happened to UnkaHunk…  imagine that Elisa Castanon called him to come to the cenote and when they were getting hanky panky DamNut showed up and then Elisa began screaming FAKING that UnkaHunk was trying to rape her!
GG: You don’t say!
(of course the TRUTH as told by Alfie with her own very personal twist, bells and whistles is much catchier for a gossip goddess)
Alfie: I DARE you not to tell anyone… I just needed to speak to someone about it, Elisa Castanon is destroying my family and I am at a loss about what to do…
(Oh yeah, BotoxQueen, you REALLY want to DARE US to think you were honest in your worry and in begging GG NOT to tell a soul?... if the town had a paper, I can see the HUGE BOLD RED headline… ELISA FAKED A RAPE SCENE WHEN CAUGHT IN HANKY PANKY AT CENOTE … you had to go tell the ONE who would ensure the whole town hears about it before next Sunday’s mass)
I had to laugh, the facial expressions of both actresses made me laugh even more than the script itself.
 
 
DamNut arrives at the clinic, he wants to hear it from Paloma, Elisa is ‘cargada!’, who’s package is it?
Paloma is in disbelief, he tells her he came from Castanon’s where Nemo-Ho found a positive pregnancy test at Elisa’s room… Paloma curses ‘condenada vieja’ Nemo-Ho for trying to undermine Elisa in his eyes and SWEARS to him that Elisa has not been with anyone, she only loves him. Damian says Elisa did not deny it. She volunteers to find out what is going on, the only man she loves is you… Elisa just sent me packin!! Paloma is the confused one now, keeps swearing that Elisa loves him. Damian is not willing to wait… Elisa wants me out so I am going!, He was willing to FACE everyone but he has it clear that she is not willing to do the same. And that can have only one explanation, she does not love me as I love her! (I would give you an alternate explanation, Damian! I think Gael deserves Elisa more than you do!)
 
 
Damian runs into DeadBrain… they get talking/arguing about Elisa and the pregancy test… DeadBrain dares DamNut ‘If you have even touched Elisa’!  DamNut swears he never did or would disrespect her. DeadBrain wants DamNut to leave, DamNut says will stay until I find out what is going on with Elisa.
Inside, WhippedDoc is apologizing to Elisa for having had to do the exam… Elisa asks him to send DeadBrain home, don’t want to see him. When Doc leaves Paloma asks Elisa what is going on, why are DeadBrain and DamNut both convinced you are cargada? (sorry, can’t help but use that word.. lol)
Outside ONLY exam room in ONLY clinic in town… Doc, who is miffed at DeadBrain, tells him in front of DamNut that Elisa is NOT cargada (We see DamNut recover his breath looking up thanking God? Might as well use the moment of prayer to ask God for some brain cells, stupid! AARGGHH!!)… DeadBrain realizes DamNut is hearing them so he sends DamNut away’ none of your business’… DeadBrain asks Doc if he is sure… DUH!!... Doc says How about this for sure? It would take an ACT OF GOD for her to get pregnant! …when I examined her it was obvious she has not been with a man or lost her ‘Virtud!... how can you question everything about Elisa and always think the worst of her? Whether or not she is your child? Whether or not she is cargada? If she eats her toast with butter folded over? If she puts two sugars on her coffee? If she likes eggs better than pancakes? As a doctor, I ask that you please respect her. Go on home, she asked me to tell you she will go home with Dolores, she does not want to see you...
 
 
DeadBrain and DamNut share one final DONKEY TO DONKEY stare exchange before DeadBrain moves on.  As DamNut is about to head away too, here comes Lucio’s pickup with Gael and Lucio bringing bangled Kenya…  As they take her out of the car, Kenya asks for Paolo and her baby… Gael tells DamNut that Ramona said Kenya is cargada and that by what Kenya is saying, Paolo is the daddy.
 
 
Gabino and III meet at pro-ce-sa-do-ra, he is not willing to take her tardiness very often. she is not in the mood… He says she is special for him.. she DARES.. as special as Alfie Arango?  everyone in town says he has always been after Alfie for a long time…she DARES him would you ever fall for Alfie?  jaja never.
 
 
Paolo digs Tonita for info about Nemo-Ho, Stefie and DeadBrain story… she tells him DeadBrain could never forget his first woman… Princess Poop runs into the kitchen telling them about Kenya’s accident… Paolo only asks about his motorcycle, did something happen to it?? that is all UnkaHunk asks PP about
 
 
At Castanon manor, DeadBrain arrives home a bit deflated saying Elisa is not cargada… Nemo-Ho puts her brain in gear… thinks out loud to determine whose pregnancy test it is… of course the only visitor Elisa had, PP!  Surely PP gave Elisa her preg test so Elisa would leave her and DamNut alone.  DeadBrain is not happy to see DamNut and Elisa together, not even just as friends. Nemo-Ho says we have to stop them, you and I know they share the same father. DeadBrain gets mad and leaves…
 
 
At clinic, DamNut asks Gael about Kenya…
Dam: I swear I don’t get why she never told anyone she was cargada…
(in walks Elisa and thinks he was gossipping to Gael about the preg test)
El: So you are spreading the gossip…
Dam: I was not talking about you.
El: Then you already know.
Dam: Yes, I know what happened at your house was a misunderstanding.
Gae: would someone bring me up to date on the gossip here?
Pal: It is just Dam thought El was cargada.
Gae: Ah this is absurd! You are going to join the ranks of those who offend Elisa!?
Dam: Calm down, I did not offend her…. (eh… no?) Her aunt found a pregnancy test in her room and Elisa would not explain whose it was.
Lolita: Calm down, Gael… at least everything was cleared up.
El: Well, so now that you know what is happening with PP, I guess you will continue your engagement with her, right?
Dam: PP? what does she have to do here?
Pal: What do you mean what? PP is cargada with your package!
(in comes PP in person)
Dam: Are you cargada, PP?
PP: well, I did not want you to find out like this but… yup, there’s one in the oven!
Dam: That’s not possible
PP: Why not? Do you want me to explain about the birds and the bees here? Before we got to this town, you and I were doing the hanky panky often!... (Gael gets a couple coughs in) I was protecting myself but oopsies happen…
Dam: We should talk this in private.
PP: Sorry I had forgot people here are very ‘persignada’.
Pal: not that, we have morals and principles!
PP: Of course, with Elisa as the model! (this gets Gael jumping from leaning on counter)
El: Don’t engage with me!
Elisa gets Lola and Paloma and Gael to follow her out, but Elisa refuses that Gael take them home.
Paloma gets a bit miffed at Gael’s insistence to walk them home.
 
 
Back inside…
PP: I don’t get why all you care about is Elisa’s reaction to my being ‘cargada’ with your baby.
Dam: It is not Elisa’s reaction, it is a delicate matter…
PP: Yes, but I don’t see why it should create such havoc. We are engaged, next is wedding, the obvious next step would be children!
UnkaHunk: I will go see Kenya to ask her what happened to my bike…
Dam: Since we are here, lets get you checked by the doctor.
PP: No need for a doctor from this funky-smelly town! I don’t trust them! I did the pregnancy test at Elisa’s and it was positive.
Dam: And why precisely in front of Elisa?
PP: I did it when she convinced me to do it. And if this serves to get Elisa away from you and stop bugging between us, I don’t regret it!
Dam: Regardless, I want Dr Tovar to examine you to be sure you are cargada.
PP:  No! We are sure! We are having a baby! Those tests are reliable! And I don’t get why you doubt me.
Dam: All this is so strange… even more now that it turns out your friend Kenya is also cargada with a child of Paolo’s.
 
 
Previews:
The farse spreads like wildfire!!
PP tells Alfie she is really not cargada.
Gabino tells Horacio it has to be an accident…
Paloma falls down like someone pushed her… Elisa keeps on crying…
Seems some horse seat ropes get cut…  and Dam falls off the horse, along with PP.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

El Talismán #66 Wed 5/2/12 A Kiss For Pedro, Tonio Plots

 

Previously on El Talisman:

Tonio is telling Val that Lucrazy should have killed Pedro when she had the chance.

Today on El Talisman:

Pedro wants to go talk to Mariana.

Flor and Fabi escort Lucrazy back to El Alcatrash. They put Lucrazy to bed and want to call the doctor to get her on some meds. I say right on!

Cameela, Maria and Angel are all in the kitchen, and Cameela tells them about what Lucrazy tried to do to Pedro. Maria says she needs serious help. Angel says he and Army should be on their way to school, and where is he anyway? Cameela says he is in his room with the Gasbag El Viral.

El Viral, the gasbag, is still spewing her poisonious fumes at Army about her the dinero es MIO, El Cheque es MIO. Army with his new avacadoes tells her sorry shut it already about the dinero and the cheque, because you don't get the money, cause you know full well Papa gambled El Tal away. El Viral thought bubbles in that pea brain of hers, why doesn't anyone understand her? Please!!!!!

Army comes out of his room and tells Cameela that his Mama was still talking about MI CHEQUE. Cameela rolls her eyes, Army and Angel go and Maria says she is going too. She asks Cameela what she is doing? Cameela says she is going to El Tal.

Mariana is in her room trying on clothes. She wants to wear something pretty and can't make up her mind. She ends up wearing what she has on. She is thinking of Pedro, she wonders if she is in love with him. Dr Manuel calls Mariana and asks if Pedro made it there yet? She says no she is still waiting. He tells her to stay calm and it is important for her to talk to Pedro.

Cameela is waiting to go to El Tal and dreading the poisonious fumes of her Mama if she comes out of her room ,when there is a knock on the door. It is Tonio loaded for bear again. He is extremely pithed off and wants to know where Army is? He is screaming and yelling for him and Cameela is yelling he isn't there. El Viral, instead of helping her daughter, hides behind the door and listens for anything she can use. Cameela tells him to leave. Oh, he isn't leaving until he talks to Army. Cameela has to tell him again he's not there and she doesn't know when he's coming back and to, wait for it, LARGATE. Tonio tells her Army better never come near his girls again, and if he does he'll kill him. Cameela wants to know what all this is about. He tells her, I think a little of Army's scam. Cameela says her brother is a good kid and to leave him alone. He threatens Army again. She tells him to Largate she is going to El Tal. He asks her what she is going there for. She tells him she loves Pedro and only Pedro. Tonio insults Pedro and calls him an indio and besides he's already married to Mariana. Cameela says you found her to break up my wedding didn't you? He tells Cameela you WILL be my mujer for better or worse, get used to it, grabs her chin and is yelling at her. She is scared to death. Gabe and Padre come just in time and make him stop. Padre wants to know if he treats all women like this? Tonio tells Padre something about not being in church for awhile. Tonio leaves. Padre and Gabe ask Cameela if she is ok? She says she's fine. They all leave. El Viral is still behind that door and did nothing to help Cameela.

Pedro is in the truck and pulls over and says a little prayer for Mariana to please get her memory back. He sees Santiago on the street, he calls to him and Santiago starts to run, this time Pedro catches up and Santiago calls him a liar and wanting the police to catch him. Pedro explains for legal reasons he has to do this, but he will marry Cameela and they will adopt him. That stops Santiago for a minute, but then he calls Pedro a liar and says you are already married to Mariana. Pedro tells him he is divorcing Mariana and then marrying Cameela and they will adopt him. He calls Pedro a liar and runs.

Dr. Manuel is in the office and Maria comes in. They both look at each other like they like each other, but try so hard to hide it. Not hard enough I say. Dr. Manuel is staring at Maria, and she tells him it bothers her. He tells her she is beautiful and he so wants to hook up (oops I mean get to know her again), but she says it is impossible and you know why, wait for it, yeah El Viral. He tries to convince her they would be great together, he is happy he found her again, but Maria stops him cold, by saying don't try to convince me, and by the way El Gasbag, sorry, El Viral knows you're here in Fresno.

Fabi, Flor and Nana are talking about Cameela and how they will never accept her as daddy's new wife. Tracy overhears and asks them, just where did you hear this gossip? They tell her straight from the horse's mouth. Tracy tells them, never gonna happen. Pedro and Cameela are so in love, Cameela hates Tonio. Flor and Fabi say isn't Pedro already married to Mariana? Tracy tells them that yes, he is, but it is complicated, but in any case Cameela will never marry Tonio. Lucrazy is in her bed and hears this and just smiles. (Someone please give her some sleeptime tea) jus' saying. After this Tracy and Nana are alone and are talking about Pedro and Cameela, and Nana says the girls are right, Pedro is married to Mariana.

Mariana is still waiting for Pedro. Pedro finally makes it to Mariana's. She answers the door and he asks her if he can come in. She says of course. She is a little shy with him. She tells him to take a seat, but he just stands there. Pedro asks her if she remembers anything? He tells her to be calm and it will come back to her little by little. She wants to know why she left (I think). Pedro doesn't know. She wants to know what he feels for her? He says they have always been like brother and sister. She wants to know why they married. Pedro tells her because she was embrazada. She wants to know who the father was? He tells her Tonio. She is just stunned and can't beleive it. She wants to know if Tonio raped her, Pedro tells her no, she was in love with Tonio, but he only wanted El Tal. She just can't beleive it. She wants to know where the baby is and Pedro has to tell her the baby is dead. I think he tells her Pigorio had something to do with it. She doesn't remember anything about it. He tells her to be calm and she says so many horrible things happened. He tells her they were friends and her Papa knew before he died she was pregnant so in order to protect her from the Negretes he married her to give the baby a name. He asks her to please beleive him. He tells her she saved his life when he came to Fresno. She tells him she believes him and puts her hands on his face, and with longing in her eyes she kisses him. He isn't fighting it either. He looks stunned once the kiss ends and she has tears in her eyes. She asks if he still feels she is like a sister, he says yes. She tells him she has more feelings than a sister for him. Pedro tells Mariana that he is not the man for her. He just wants her to remember her past, her memory and he wants her to have a good life. He tells Mariana the only woman for him is Cameela. He tells her he is divorcing her so he can marry Cameela. He is now a little impatient with her. Cameela is the only love of his life. Mariana doesn't beleive him. Pedro tells Mariana he didn't mean to upset her and apologizes. He asks if she is ok? She says she beleives what he is saying, but is he sure he isn't in love with her?

Fabi and Flor are at school and Fabi tells Flor if Tonio marries Cameela she is leaving. Flor starts crying and says no please don't leave me alone there. Flor tells Fabi she beleives what Tracy said. They hug each other and thank Dios that they are sisters. They have a plaid blanket and sit down on it and talk about poor Lucrazy and then Army.

Lucrazy is in the parlor and Doris comes in. Lucrazy tells her I don't have time for your jokes. I tried to kill Pedro. Just leave me in peace. (What was noone listening? Why didn't they make Lucrazy that sleepytime tea?). Anyways, Doris tells her her obession is going to land her in the carcel. Doris I think tells her one day she will be the duena of El Alcatrash and that she has a lover, but won't tell Lucrazy who it is. Lucrazy rolls her eyes. There is a knock on the door and it is a letter from the court. Lucrazy takes it, it was meant for Tonio, and it is a lawsuit that Rennie filed against Tonio. Lucrazy doesn't look happy. Lucrazy calls Tonio on his cell and tells him about it. He is pithed. He had been stalking Mariana's apt building parking lot, but saw Pedro's truck there. This makes him even more pithed off. He is going to wait in the parking lot.

Pancho is visiting Pigorio in the hospital again and Pigorio is getting the gossip about what Lucrazy did. Pigorio insists that Lucrazy is NOT going to jail over this. I think Panchito said something about the manicomio but Pigorio nixes the idea. Pigorio says he wants out of the hospital bed and to go home to El Alcatrash, and he wants Panchito's help. Panchito says no, he needs to stay and get better. Dr. Raul comes in, and Pigorio says something like oh, where is my doctor, and Raul tells him he is it. Pigorio is not down with that.

Rennie and Rita are at the apartment talking about el dinero, when there is a knock on the door. They hope it's good news. Well it is, cause it's, wait for it, Panchito with the check Pigorio promised them. Panchito asks Rennie how he's doing, and Rennie tells him not good, very bad and to let Pigorio know. Panchito gives them the check and the stinkeye up and down and then leaves. They open the envelope and are happy with the cheque.

El Viral, the obessed with el cheque is mio, is at the hospital and asks about Dr. Bermudez. She says she is a friend of his, hasn't seen him in a long time and is he available? The receptionist says he is busy right now, but she wants to wait. She asks the woman if Dr. Bermudez is married, the woman gives her the stinkeye and says that's a little personal and we can't give out that info. In any case El Viral, now a stalker, will wait.

Meanwhile, Maria and Manuel are in the office, not saying anything aloud, but sure thinking it. They really like each other, but Maria will never tell, never say never I say. Manuel's phone rings, and Maria asks if maybe he shouldn't answer it. It might be Mariana. He says naw. He tells her about Marinana and how he found her. She likes what he did, but says she is pressed for time because she is meeting Angel her son. Manuel wants her to wait. He wants to talk about what happened in the past with them. He says El Viral never meant anything to him, she just basically used him. Maria says careful what you say, cause I may not like all she did, but she is my sister. She says her and El Viral are very different, or he says it. Anyways, she has to go, but she says something about El Viral's kids I didn't get.

Army and Angel are at the college and Army tells Angel if only he could see Fabi to talk to her. He wants Angel's help I think, but Angel has to go meet Mama. Fabi, Flor and their friends are by a tree and spy on Army and Angel. Fabi's friends try to convince Fabi to go talk to Army, but she won't go,even though you can tell she wants to.

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Tonio comes to see Mariana with that fake newspaper article he had made about Pedro killing her.

Pedro and Cameela come to see Mariana and she is extremely pithed off at them and shows them the article.

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Abismo de pasión #37 5/1/12: Reflexive Verbs 101, or, What They Do to Themselves


Casa Castañon: METERSE

Florencia: I’m pretending to be totally freaked out. Will you help me take a home-pregnancy test?

Eliza: I don’t have any friends that I didn’t pick up at the cenote, so I think this is a perfectly normal request. Come on back.

Flor: I’m pretending to be too freaked out to read. What does it say?

Eliza: What do you think? This is a telenovela.

Flor: Oh, goody! I pretended to pee in your bathroom, so we’re besties now!

Eliza: Hmm…should I start crying right away or wait until someone finds the pregnancy test in my trashcan?


Casota en la Selva: EXPLICARSE

Damián: Hey, Ramona, those amulets totally work!

Ramona: THIS STORY HAS ONLY BEGUN. YOU SHALL CONFRONT MANY OBSTACLES, YOUNG ONE. THE TWO OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT, NOT ONLY AGAINST THE WORLD, BUT AGAINST YOUR VERY SELVES.

Damián: Huh?

Ramona: I was being portentious.

Damián: Whatevs! Ride horsey now!


Casa Arango: ENFERMARSE

Paolo: Ha ha. You got Flor to walk around with pee in her purse? Yuck!

Kenia: In case you haven’t noticed, I need money. So either get on the bus or take the statutory rape train. Your choice.

Paolo: I thought you were crazy in love with me?

Kenia: I’m so over that.

Paolo: Wow, you’re way cuter when you’re playing harder to get. How about one for old times?

Kenia: Come a little closer…and let me show you WHAT I LEARNED IN JAILBAIT SELF-DEFENSE CLASS.

Paolo: eeeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeeee


Procesadora La Anita: REIRSE

Gabino: Who gave Kooky Cookie his own office?

Braulio: I did! Ha ha! On the orders of Young Damián! Ha ha ha! You’re not the Big Chili Pepper around here anymore! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ingrid: Hiya, treasure chest! Kissy-kissy!

Gabino: NOT NOW, INGRID. I’M PLOTTING REVENGE.

Ingrid: Well, don’t come knocking later. I’m not quite THAT easy.


Hotel La Ermita: NEGARSE

Horacio: No.

Gabino: Jeez, calm down. You don’t have to kill anyone.

Horacio: No.

Gabino: Damián just needs to have a little accident on his horsey. Enough to keep him away from the procesadora for a while.

Horacio: No.

Gabino: You know what they do to seamstress-whackers in the cárcel?

Horacio: Aw, nuts.


Casa Arango: ACOSTARSE

Flor: Hey big boy.

Damián: That negligee…it covers five times as much skin as your usual dress…I find the contrast oddly alluring…

Flor: Yes!

Damián: Yes! Wait: no.

Flor: WAAAAAH. I’m locking myself in my room until Kenia comes up with another plan.

Alfonsina: Kenia, Guido told me everything. Here’s a big cheque. Go away.

Kenia: Okay!

Paolo: I knew you girls could clean up my little mess.

Alfonsina & Kenia: Shut up, dinky-winky.


Bachelor Pad de Horsey: HUIRSE

Kenia: Hi! You’ve never seen me before, but I need to go stalk my half-brother. Where’s Paolo’s motorcycle?

Horacio: Right around the corner. Wait, what?

Kenia: I need to have an accident and there are no stairs. Get it?


Around Town: ENTERARSE

Kenia tells Ingrid she’s living at Casa Arango and now she’s the one who’s going to pretend not to know her. Like it makes a difference.

The Padre has a heart-to-heart with Gael about who loves whom. We know all this already, but it’s good to see we’re all on the same page.

Ramona has a heart-to-heart with Paloma about who loves whom. See above.

I swear Eliza has that dead pigeon stuffed and mounted in her room. Watch for it.


Avances:

The pregnancy test is found!

Eliza tells someone not to mess with her!

Paolo plants one on…the Orange?

[Keep the faith, y’all. I’m off to spend the summer in Alternate Fresno, where I’ve heard they have verdant pools, stealth mariachis, and really awesome sandwiches. I think that’s my mule-cart now...]

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Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Una Familia Con Suerte #231-232 Tue 5/1/12 The Love-Bunker

Ok guys, there was a lot of unhappiness this episode as well as a random astrologer who wants to be Pancho's friend based on the stars and stuff, but Beto took the cake today. An amazing scene that made this 2-hour slogfest a little more bearable.

Anyway, What seems to be the main plot driver this episode is Ana and her two men. She can't decide. Yeah, we get it already.

Also Pepe proposes to Monica, gets turned down because she "doesn't know if she's mature enough," and takes it as rough as you would expect.

Lupita is also unhappy, explaining to Tomas that she couldn't handle the stress of being a cop's wife and not knowing if he was going to come home.

----Continued----

Pepe wastes a romantic location (where his jefes first kissed) on the proposal to Ana - he throws down a trail of rose petals and Moni totters after him on heels. She refuses, but they'll have to think of something fast to wrap it all up before the series closes. Where's Frida when you need her? Oh yeah, angry and dejected.

After receiving the you-gotta-fight-for-love from his daughters, Adrian gets dressed up (no, he's always in a suit) and trucks over to la casa popular, where he makes his case to Ana, who is much shorter than him and dressed like a 16-year-old girl. The imbalance looks a little creepy and drives home the point that no one seems to care about the age difference (how old is Ana, anyway?). Anyway, she tells him that she's going to distance herself from Fred. And Adrian, too.

Tomas comes to meet with Pancho, come for his share of the Avon nepotism. Pancho says great, our head of security is an old dude, let's give you his job! So Tomas will give up his dream to steal some old-timer's sinecure. Way to go Lupita. He's totally going to resent you for it within the year.

Random PSA brought to you by Lamberto: The end is near!

Rebe's mom drools over the guy who delivers the baby-mattress, and we are reminded that she's now a free woman!

And gaaaawd, doesn't Kari have anything less humiliating and personally degrading to do than chase Fred? She shows up to gleefully roll in the dirt for yet another run at Pollis. Like clockwork, Ana shows up at the door. While Freddy goes to let her in, Kari takes her top off. At this point, with Ana, it's like Charlie Brown and the football. Will she fall for it AGAIN?

I don't get to find out, because over-the-air Univision goes dark. I just started using an antenna rather than cable, but all the other channels were still coming in fine. Instead, I watch a few minutes of "Conan, el Destructor" on Telefutura. The guy they have dubbing Arnold has a pretty funny voice.

When Univision returns, Kari has her shirt back on. Awww.

"Doña Rebe" is doing stretches with Candi, who is telling her about that time Vins didn't hide behind her when Napoleon tried to take her away. She says Vins his her reason to live. Poor girl.

Chela tries to speak to Moni on Pepe's behalf, and Moni flares a little bit of her mom's crazy in response. I think it's genetic.

Arnold and Barbs get busy in a costume shop, despite his mild protestations. And I mean busy.

Ketita gets off work early for her date with Lamberto.

And now the astrologist makes his appearance. Talk about your random subplots! He thinks that Pancho is the perfect embodiment of the Taurus and the Mexican spirit, admires his success, and calls him and the vice-president-who-just-stepped-in "masters of the universe." He would like to be Pancho's friend, and invites him to a new-years-dinner of like-minded astro-nuts (astrolocos, as Pancho says). Pancho, who is a fiend for flattery, is quite taken by the prospect.

Freddy and Adrian are both trying to scheme up plots to win Ana back. That's cute.

On his drive home, Pancho finds a dude selling lewd Candi calendars from the median strip. He pulls over to stop traffic and have a look. They're pretty hot, and the guy gives him one for free. He takes them to show Candi and Doña Rebe and Rebe all hot with righteous outrage, but he can't seem to get them on the outrage train. Candi, in particular, is extremely pleased with how good she looks in the photos!

Pepe tries to  complain to Lupita, Ana, Popeye, and Temo, but they would rather tease him for being a whiner and not thinking it through properly ("don't you remember what happened last time you lived with her?" "you want a little white dress to wear while you cry?"). They have a good point.

Now comes my favorite part of the whole episode. Beto has been following Mayan doomsday mythology, and he converted himself a little bunker o' love in a bank vault for him and Ketita. It is quite well-stocked with canned food, livestock (chickens, a turkey, and I could have sworn I heard a donkey braying at one point), and plants (which seem to be growing surprisingly well, given that they're in a bank vault). He extolls the virtues of his plan while Ketita quietly freaks out and looks for an escape route.

Pancho also chides Pepe for proposing to Monica. "Making a family isn't like making enchiladas." Well said.

And that's it for last night!

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Una Familia Con Suerte #229-230 Mon 4/30/12

Heart to heart talks and surprises! A recap from last week.

We begin with Melanie and Temo talking about Adrian and Ana. We also catch the scenes with Freddy and Ana in Freddy’s apartment and with Pancho and Rebeca’s conversation as well. We finally catch the scenes with Tomas and Lupita talking about the next police operation and the operation itself where Tomas has a run-in with a gun.

We begin today’s episode with Pancho and Sebastian talking in Pancho’s office. Pancho asks Sebastian to consider taking the vice-presidency intermittently while Vicente takes care of his legal and financial affairs. Pancho warns Sebastian that there might be problems with Vicente letting go of his position.

In another part of town, Chela and Enzo are showing their love for one another before Enzo has to leave for the airport and head for Monterrey. Enzo is very curious to know something about the upcoming wedding. Chela won’t say a word about it. Cute scenes.

Candy knows that Vicente will be pretty angry about being temporarily let go of his position as vice-president. She wants to surprise him by doing something very special…a Candy calendar! Arnold takes pictures and while he and Candy interact, Barbara comes in and lets Arnold know she doesn’t want him near Candy. She insults Candy and Candy doesn’t hold back and slaps Barbara. Barbara threatens Candy that there will be a fight if Candy is near Arnold.

Back to Pancho and Sebastian. Pancho continues to fill Sebastian in on his history with Vicente. While waiting for Vicente to receive them in his office, they talk about a more personal issue…Sebastian losing his son. Pancho opens his heart and lets Sebastian know how scared he was when all of his kids were in some kind of threatening danger at various times…Pepe with his hand, Temo in the well, and Ana and Lupita in the operating room.

Vicente finally decides to talk with Pancho and Sebastian, and of course, he’s both drinking and furious upon receiving the news that he is temporarily relieved of his duties. He immediately blames Pancho and figures that it’s what Pancho always wanted. He also begins to question and insult Sebastian. Sebastian defends himself and says that he can clearly see what kind of a person Vicente really is. It infuriates Vicente even more. Pancho breaks it up.

Candy and Arnold talk a little bit more and Candy makes a very stupid mistake. While they discuss how Candy will obtain her calendar (delivery, email, etc), she lets Arnold know that he can send her everything via facebook. Well…we already know what will happen, right??

Chela tries to comfort Rebeca on accepting her parents’ divorce. Candy tries to comfort Rebeca’s mother as well. Julio goes to see Pancho and offer him a sincere apology. They have a heart to heart talk about things. Julio lets Pancho know how much he appreciates Pancho’s good and noble qualities and asks him to continue making Rebeca happy.

In Monterrey, Enzo is considering buying a house where he and his family can live.

Next, we see a couple of thinking or daydreamers…Adrian and Pepe. Freddy interrupts Pepe’s daydream. Pepe tells Freddy that he plans on proposing to Monica.

Lupita and Tomas talk on the phone, and Tomas hides the truth from her. He knows how she’ll get. Lupita worries anyway when she hears him scream in pain.

Adrian comes to see Ana, and they also have a heart to heart talk. Adrian is very honest with her and tells her that the best thing is for them to not see each other anymore. He wants her to have the security and comfort to decide who she really loves and wants for a partner. Ana is stunned. While she understands his position, she is still very confused. Adrian continues to be honest with her. She’s left crying. Temo comes in and tries to comfort her as best as he can.

Pepe and Freddy talk like good friends about their respective love interests. They listen to and try and encourage one another.

Julio and Rebe also have a heart to heart talk. He explains that he’s going back to the United States and is very likely to get divorced from her mother. Rebe is saddened by this news and tries to convince her dad to at least stay for New Year’s, but he gently tells her that it’s best for him to go. It was a nice moment and conversation between Julio and Rebeca. Julio leaves, and Rebe and her mom have a little talk as well. Dona Rebeca is saddened by the ending of her marriage. She feels that she has failed.

Adrian pays a visit to Pancho and is honest about ending his relationship with Ana. Pancho understands the situation. More than offering advice, Pancho just listens. The conversation is cut short by Rebe who calls to talk. Pancho offers to come home for lunch and be with her for a while.

Lupita and Candy are on the computer when Ana comes in crying. They try and cheer her up and probably confuse her even more. Candy tells the girls about her calendar surprise for Vicente. Candy is the one who is surprised when she sees that her calendar is all over Facebook and is being sold on the street as well. Arnold made an error and posted the pictures on Candy’s wall rather than sending them to her privately. Vicente will be furious…even more!

 Much of the Lopez family spend some time together over conversation, lunch and dessert. Pepe and Tomas also talk, and Pepe lets Tomas know that hiding the truth from Lupita is not a good idea. Of course, when Lupita and Tomas are together and Tomas tries to cover things up, the truth comes out and Lupita freaks out and is upset that Tomas lied.

Vicente finds out about the calendar! He buys all of the ones the salesman is selling and is on a mission!

Sebastian fills Pancho in on how his son passed away. Pancho lets Sebastian know that even though his son is gone, he must continue to press on and live life for himself, to honor his son’s memory, and to find love once again. Slowly but surely, a friendship is beginning between them.

Vicente arrives home and confronts Candy about the calendar. Candy sincerely feels terrible about how things happened and tries to explain everything. Vicente asks for Candy’s forgiveness but tells her that he needs to get away for a while to put his thoughts and life in order. This breaks Candy’s heart, but she continues to support him and offer her unconditional love. Vicente tells her not to worry but also lets her know that he won’t be communicating for a few days.

Now we go to another heart to heart talk between Mother Rebeca and Daughter Rebeca. This time, it is the daughter who puts the cards on the table. She tells her mom that she won’t take sides or listen to how badly she speaks of her dad. She also asks her mom to think about whether or not she has any fault in the ending of her marriage. Hmmm.

Some other heart to heart talks take place. The first is between Tomas and Pancho. The second…between Freddy and Vicente. The third…Pepe and Tomas. The only thing I didn’t like was that Vicente wasn’t honest with Freddy regarding why Pancho removed him from his position.

Karina and Monica talk about Freddy. Monica continues to try and make Karina see that Freddy’s not in love with her. She won’t have it! She’s going to win Freddy and the love war.

Pancho brings his mother-in-law some candies to sweeten her life. They talk for a bit, and Pancho encourages her to go out on a limb and do something she’s always wanted to do but couldn’t because she was married. She rather likes this idea. Right at that time, when we’re about to find out what she wants to do, Candy comes in a mess and lets Pancho know what happened with Vicente. Rebe joins the conversation, and between everyone, they try and comfort Candy.

 At that point, there’s a loud knock at the door and when Pancho opens the door, he encounters a very loud and angry Freddy. This boy is showing character and attitude, which is something that Pancho likes but reins in a bit. Ana also comes into the picture, and Pancho talks to both of them and explains everything with the whole truth. Freddy doesn’t like what he hears but realizes that Pancho is right in what he said about Vicente bringing everything up on himself. Both Freddy and Pancho worry about Vicente wanting to isolate himself because they know he’s not that kind of person. He generally takes the bull by the horns and attacks or does something to show his spite and anger. This time, he’s almost running from his problems rather than facing them.

Ana and Freddy have another heart to heart talk. Freddy appreciates knowing where he stands with Ana. Ana’s heart is divided, and she doesn’t know who she loves more. There’s a short scene with Adrian and his oldest daughter. Basically, she lets him know that he needs to continue fighting for Ana.

Chela and Monica are at home talking about surprises. Chela lets Monica know a few of the wedding details but asks her not to say anything to Enzo because it’s a surprise. Then she says that Enzo also has a surprise but won’t say anything.

My DVR cut out right when Pepe comes to pick Monica up for a date. The last thing I saw was that he shows Chela the engagement ring he bought for Monica. My theory is that he’s got a special surprise planned for Monica regarding the proposal. My theory is that Pepe will receive a surprise as well.

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El Talismán #65 Tue 5/1/12 Pedro Has Avacadoes, So Does Army and the Loca Has A Gun

 

Previously on El Talisman:

Cameela and Mariana talk about Pedro and the wedding interruptus.

Today on El Talisman:

After this conversation between the two women, Cameela tells Mariana to please go and she does. Cameela shuts the door, sits down on the floor and cries her eyes out.

Gabe and Pedro are in the truck going somewhere, when a taxi pulls up in front of El Tal. Pedro thinks it might be Mariana, but it is Dr. Manuel. He introduces himself to Pedro and tells him Mariana lives with him. Pedro says, oh like your girlfriend? and Dr. Manuel tells him no like a daughter. Dr. Manuel tells Pedro he knows about the interruptus wedding and Pedro tells Dr. Manuel he is glad she is safe with the Dr.

After Mariana left Cameela's she just happens to run into Santiago. She is crying and he asks her what's wrong? She just tells him she can't remember her past and he hugs her.

Angel and Army are in the apartment and Cameela comes in the room. They ask her what is wrong and she says she talked to Mariana. They both hug her. She said she didn't want to talk to Mariana. Angel,the young voice of reason, says she ought to talk to both Pedro and Mariana and straighten up this mess.

Mariana has taken Santiago home with her again. He just wanted to make sure she got home ok and wants to go., but Mariana wants to talk to him. She asks what type of person Pedro really is? Santiago tells her in general he is ok, but betrayed him to the police. She asks him if he knows Tonio? Santiago tells her he doesn't know Tonio, but has heard he is a really bad man. After this little conversation, Santiago goes. Mariana is thinking and says so El Talisman is, wait for it, es MIO! (Sorry y'all had to put that in there).

Fabi and Flor are talking about Army, and here comes Tonio, loaded for bear. He is mad about this kid always penetrating El Alcatrash and Tonio lets them know he is the brother of Cameela. They are so not happy to hear about that. They say now they will never accept Cameela. Tonio tells them too bad. Fabi and Flor both tell Tonio that they will never accept her as a stepmother. Flor says she much prefers to stay with her Mama. Fabi and Flor tell Tonio they love him very much but will never accept Cameela. Tonio tells them he loves Cameela. Flor says she still doesn't like it, and Tonio tells her Pigorio forced him to marry Doris.

Manuel tells Pedro how he found Mariana on the street and helped her. He took her home to his wife and treated her like the daughter they never had. He tells Pedro little by little she recovered her sanity with his help. Manuel knows she suffered some kind of trauma but doesn't know what. Pedro fills him in on what happened. He tells Dr. Manuel he was a friend of Mariana's and she got pregnant by Tonio. Dr. Manuel wants to know what happened to the baby. Pedro tells him it died. He doesn't explain how though. Pedro tells Dr. Manuel he wants to keep Mariana happy and safe. Dr. Manuel says he will try to set up something where Pedro and Mariana can talk. Dr. Manuel leaves.

Mariana is thought bubbling about her convo with Cameela. She prays to God to please help her recover her memory. Dr. Manuel comes home and she tells him she went to talk to Cameela. They talk about what happened and the Dr. asks her what she is feeling. She says she is jealous of Cameela and that Cameela is in love with Pedro. Dr. Manuel wants to know why she feels this way? She doesn't know. Dr. Manuel tells her the only solution is for her to talk to Pedro. Dr. Manuel tells her he will do everything he can for her to get her memory back. He will always help her. He tells her Pedro told Manuel that Mariana is like a sister to him. She has tears in her eyes. Mariana says she is tired and Manuel tells her again he will help her. She is on her way to bed when who calls? Anyone! Tonio of course. She tells Tonio she feels bad about stopping the wedding. Tonio tells her don't worry about that. Just stay away from Pedro his is very bad.

Angel , Army and Cameela are still talking when there is a knock at the door. Cameela says, "I hope it isn't Lucrazy", but she opens the door and it is, wait for it, that's right NOT Lucrazy. It's Pedro. He grabs her and tells her he cannot be seperated from her and he loves her so much, she tells him she loves him too, and Angel and Army leave the room with their sandwiches, as Cameela and Pedro commence the long smoochies! After a bit, Pedro and Cameela talk. Pedro tells her what Dr. Manuel told him and Cameela tells him she talked to Mariana and Cameela tells Pedro that Mariana is in love with him. Pedro tells Cameela he wishes Mariana would recover her memory. They wonder how long it will take. Cameela tells Pedro once this mess is cleared up, at their next wedding, she wants to be married in the church. Pedro likes that idea. Pedro wants her to come back to El Tal, but Cameela says it will cause all kinds of problems because Mariana is the owner of El Tal and that for now she will stay at her Tia's apartment. Pedro isn't happy with that, but he leaves.

Pigorio is in his hospital bed, looking healthier than ever, and Doris has come to see him. She brought some food for Pigorio from El Alcatrash, because he can't stand the hospital food. He asks Doris to get him something to drink. She goes. When she comes back he lays it on thick about how Tonio is against him and now El Alcatrash is all broken up. Doris doesn't look happy. Panchito had come by earlier and told Pigorio all about the interruptus wedding and that it wasn't good that Mariana is back. Pigorio tells Doris he is worried that Mariana will get her memory back.

Angel and Army are eating their sandwiches in their room and talk about the women in their family. They both agree that Tia Maria and Cameela are the best. Army says oh why can't my Mama be like yours? They say out of all the women in their family, Cameela is the strongest character, HUH!!!! Army tells Angel he loves Fabi so much.

The Gasbag (sorry) El Viral is talking to Maria about Cameela. Maria warns her not to give Cameela any grief and to stop trying to get, what audience, that's right El Cheque!!!! from Mariana. By this time Maria and El Viral have made it to Maria's office. El Viral,the gasbag, is thought bubbling about how right it is to get that El Cheque from Mariana. Maria has left the room and El Viral notices the name plate on Maria's desk. Oh NO'S it has Dr. Manuel's name on it. El Viral thinks oh, it can't be. She thinks some more and says oh, it's got to be him. Maria comes back and El Viral, the gasbag, is spewing questions at Maria, like why didn't you tell me Dr. Manuel was here, and are you involved with him again? Maria says no they have a strictly professional relationship and to leave poor Manuel alone. El Viral thinks yeah, sure I am so going for him.

Pedro, Padre and Margarito are talking and Padre tells Pedro love will triumph, and Pedro tells them he needs their help, because they met Mariana before she lost her memory. They say anything they can do.

Pedro is on a horse and he is going for a ride around the property. Margarito and Gabe talk after he rides off, and they say Pedro will only be happy with Cameela.

A boy comes to Cameela's door with a rose. Cameela reads the little note that says much love, Pedro. Maria and Angel see it Maria says see I told you so, and Angel gives Cameela a hug.

Dr. Manuel is thought bubbling about Maria. Mariana comes in and asks if he is ok? He says he is and says once again he will help her get her memory back. He tells Mariana that Pedro is not a deceiver and he tells her Pedro has good intentions. She asks him if she was ever in love with Pedro? He says you have to talk to Pedro, it will do you good. She says your a good Dad. She asks about Maria, and he tells her a little of what happened, including how El Viral was so ambitious.

Army has been cornered in the room he shares with Angel by the Gasbag. She is whining and spewing this lethal gas about Manuel and who he is and how he never loved Maria only her. She says her children are always against her, I wonder why Miss Gas Spewer. She needs their help to retrieve, guess what everyone, Wrong, El Cheque from Mariana. Army finally has grown some avacadoes and tells his Mama Gasbag to stop being a victim and stop causing problems.

Angel, Cameela and Maria are in the other room, and Maria tells them that Manuel has come to town, after Cameela I think mentions Mariana is staying with him. Angel asks her who is Manuel. She tells Cameela and Angel he is someone she cared very much about when she was young. They both ask her isn't it great he's here. Maria not so much.

Pedro is still riding, when out of the bush, here comes, you know who, Lucrazy. She pulls a gun on him and tells him, if I can't have you, noone will especially not Cameela. She tells him she is loca for him . He has gotten off the horse in the meantime and is trying to get the gun from him. She shoots at him and says Tu Es Mio!!!!!. She misses him. Gabe, Sarita, and Margarito hear the gunshot. Over at El Alcatrash Tracy and Tonio have heard it too. Tonio goes to investigate. When Lucrazy sees she has missed Pedro she says I will kill you. Pedro is still trying to get that gun from her. Tonio comes on the scene and tells her to shoot him already. He has a drink in his hand as he is egging her on. Tonio tells Lucrazy to just aim and fire. Gabe and Margarito have come on the scene. She points the gun at Margarito when he calls her crazy. She fired the gun a couple of times at Pedro but missed everytime. Tonio is still egging her on. Kill him already, be strong aim and fire. She drops the gun and cries, as Tonio calls her estupida and loca. Flor and Fabi have come over to El Tal to find out what is going on and see their Tia in tears. They want to know what is going on? Tia tells them they wouldn't understand the love she has. They both take her home.

Pedro goes back in the house and Margarito, Gabe, Sarita and Domitilla say Lucrazy is well you know crazy. Pedro calls Cameela and tells her what happened. He wants her to be careful. He warns her Lucrazy is well you know loca.

Tonio has gone back to El Alcatrash and is talking to Valentin. He tells old Val what happened over at El Tal and that Lucrazy should have killed Pedro.

Next Time on El Talisman:

Mariana kisses Pedro.

Tonio visits Cameela.

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