Friday, June 09, 2006

It's decided! We'll jump ship to "Heridas" when it starts!

From what we've heard, it's GOT to be better than "Barrera."

All recappers - including those who have already given up on "Barrera" - and also including those who've never written for us, but think they'd like to try it - will you be willing to have a look at "Heridas" when it starts, and maybe sign back on?

Is there a summary posted anywhere?

Anybody know when it's starting?

As I recall, Andrés, though he was playing a pretty stupid character in Alborada, was a hunk and a good kisser. I am even willing to go to the trouble to put the accent mark in his name. I feel optimistic.

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Barrera de Amor

Wednesday June 7

Ive been bad about checking in, blogging and watching the show the last couple of weeks. I humbly apologize and report that I am back in action. Looks like Barrera hasnt changed much either in my absense. I was hoping someone might have died or figured something out but the drama continues. As far as I can tell the only relevation has been that Remedios has figured out that the boss (Jose Maldonado) of Unibrow’s wine team is none other than the coward who cheated Eloisa, the father of Maite.

Veronica wanders the hotel and wonders how she got there. She wonders how she has the credit card of Valeria and how she got all the money she has. She wonders if the girls will think she stole the credit card or if they will think she is lying. She is worried about how she got to the hotel. She calls Andres to find out if the girls are coming to the hotel and cries when she hangs up.

Meanwhile Unibrow checks into the hotel Maldonado. Joan Rivers tells Unibrow that having guests is a pleasure for them and a family tradition. They wonder why Unibrow came with out his wife. Victor and Maria Teresa discuss the beauty of the city and give us a history lesson. Oh and a weather report of Quebec. Maite says she is nervous and happy, nervous and happy. Their window is like the windows of the brothel in Mexico and all the windows in this show. It shows a picture perfect image of Montreal just outside their room.

Nuria receives a cat scan while Unibrow admits to Jose how he can’t get over the girl from Aguascalientes who deceived him. Jose tells Unibrow how they abbreviated their servant’s long last name. (Mighty presumptuous of them no?) The men talk of their lost loves. Unibrow gets to save Joans dog from dying of being overweight. Seems Joan has been giving chocolate to her dog, without knowing it can kill him or her.

Valeria and Juanita arrive in the hotel suite in Sacacomie. Juanita won’t let Valeria tell Veronica the truth of about the whereabouts of Andres. She is suspicious of what Veronica has been doing. They all wonder how Veronica was able to get such a nice room. At the same time Jacinta calls their suite. Veronica answers and both she and Jacinta are surprised to hear each other. Jacinta demands the girls return to Montreal immediately. Veronica says that her grandmother LuLu sent her graduation money and that is how she got the room. They realize that Veronica will get a refund because they have to return to Montreal. Veronica acts all weird about it because she is worried about how she paid for the room to begin with. Valeria finds a beautiful dress in the closet and asks if it is Veronicas. Veronica denys owning the dress. It is the same dress that Sylvia reported of being J-Lo’s dress.

Victor and Maite arrive at the school to find out the girls have left. They are overheard and seen by Federico and Jacinta. The evil duo are stunned to see Maite. They decide to call the girls to tell them to stay so they can avoid running into Maite.

Victor and Maite continue their tour and history lesson of Montreal. Victor speaks French and knows all about Montreal. Maite looks around as if she is not paying much attention to what Victor says. Perhaps this is her way of showing that she is “taking in” the scenery of Montreal. Victor does a weird little jig for Maite.

Rodrigo finds out that he was caught cheating on a college exam. The professor has annulled his exam and wants to talk to his parents. Flash to Manola and Catayena talking about why Nicolas doesn’t answer the phone. Manola argues that her father is busy doing work. Little do they know he is busy in Jarandas bed. The ladies ask where are Rodrigos grades. He says he hasn’t received them yet. Later the professor calls Manola and she goes to see the professor. The professor thinks she is too young to be the mother of Rodrigo. (Could it be that Rodrigo looks to be 40 years old and not a young college student?) The professor tells Manola he thinks there could be a possibility that Rodrigo has a problem with drugs or alcohol. The professor says that the home is where a child learns the most. Manola tries to bride the professor to pass Rodrigo. The professor calls her on it and insists on talking with Gustavo.

The girls send Veronica to get more room keys. While she is gone they talk about what they are going to do with Jacinta coming to the resort. They can’t let Jacinta know that Andres is there. Valeria says she wants to go horseback riding. Veronica admits to being afraid of horses and doesn’t want to be left alone. They leave her alone anyway. Veronica then sneaks over to Valeria’s purse to put back the credit card. Valeria really wanted to find Andres not to ride horses alone. She meets up with him. Kissy Kissy. Promesas de amor. They ride her horse together. Better to get her arms around his tight abs.

Remedios tells Baldomero that she knows he is in love with Veronica. She tells him to fight for his love and to convince his father that Veronica is worthy of him. Baldo later finds out that a friend, Tina, has been hurt by Rodrigo. This will be a later story line Im sure.

Gustavo talks with his right hand man (whats his name?) and asks him to investigate why Unibrow was thrown into jail around 1985. He wants to help a friend (Maite) recover her friendship with Unibrow. Yea!

Jacinta finds time to visit a cathedral and talk with God about her plans to continue the Valladolid blood line. Her talks with God do her no good because as soon as she arrives in Sacacomie she is introduced to Victor and Maite by Veronica. The show ends with promises of more trouble for Thursday’s episode.

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La Fea Más Bella #16-17 Part Eight

El Club de Las Feas celebrates in the employee bathroom after Lety shyly tells them that Fernando called her his assistant. She has the exact same look on her face that your 12 year old niece has when telling her friends about some boy who touched her hand. In the midst of the celebration, Alicia oooops I mean Jessica Rabbit walks in. “Que paso??” with the o being like this – oooOOOooo? Like you would ask your kids who are pretending there isn’t any paint on the wall as you ask them “ok and what happened heeeere?” Las Feas tell Jessica Rabbit that Lety is the assistant to the president now, so she (J.R.) better watch her step. If they were guys instead of women, there would be a lot of chest bumping and “hold me back dude I swear hold me back” going on. J.R. laughs her fake fake laugh oh how I hate the fake laugh and says it can’t be true, Lety isn’t anybody important in the company, she’s just the leader of El Club. She is “La Reina de Las Feas.” HAhahaahahhaahahahahah as she leaves the room. Like the Joker after wrapping Batman and Robin with scotch tape and putting them over a goldfish bowl to finish them “once and for all!”

Jessica Rabbit runs off IMMEDIATELY to rat to Marcia about what Las Feas were saying about Lety. Here’s an Alborada flashback – there was one scene where Diego was whining to Dona Juana, she was telling him how stupid he was after he got in yet another screaming match with Luis, about how he was being immature to yell insults at Luis. “But he insulted me first!” he whiiiiiiiines. J.R. uses that exact same tone here. “They said she was the assistant to the preeeeesident Maaaarcia? Como se puede? COOOOOMMMOOOOO???” Somebody needs to have their bedtime bumped up about 30 minutes if they are going to be cranky like that!

Marcia calls a meeting con todo El Club de Las Feas and asks Lopez the finger licker to be present. She rips into them. They are chismosas (gossips), they don’t do any work, they waste time and money, they talk too much, etc etc etc and finally Fernando shows up. He cuts Marcia off, then tells Lopez to issue a memo announcing that Lety is now asistente de Presidencia! Marcia glares at him with those glassy unblinking eyes. Her eyes really shine, but I think that’s because they are marbles. If they were real eyes, she would have to blink every once in a while to keep them from drying up and falling out.

The next day Omar is hanging out and sees Ariel The Little Mermaid arrive and give a way too friendly greeting to Alicia and is jealous. Que macho these men. “I’m gonna screw whoever I want, but if you let someone say hello to you too nicely, I’m gonna be pissed. Just so you understand how it is.” Fernando tells Omar that he has to keep up his romance with Alicia to keep her away from The Little Mermaid, if she gets in with him she might give him information.

Lety is waiting for that damned Microbus to get home, it cruises right by without stopping. I think the Microbus company draws its employees from the same place that the DMV gets theirs. As she’s yelling at the bus as it disappears, Fernando pulls up in his sweet ride. I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of car he drives, but they never show the logo. I think it’s a BMW Z3 but I’m not sure. Something very much like that if not that. Anyway, he offers Lety a ride and says that she doesn’t need to take the bus, he’ll give her a ride home every single night. After her first little daydream, it’s easy to spot them now. Any time Fernando gets in close my wife and I look at each other “dream.” He asks what she’d like to listen to, she says she loooooooves Alejandro Fernandez. He says that’s his favorite too! Then they ride off to their castle where he’ll ravish her with no threat of repercussion from RoboPapa.

The sound of Fernando yelling “LETY!” snaps her out of it, he just asks if she’s all right. She says yes, then a model wanders by and Fernando’s attention is gone, like a cat who spots anything dangling anywhere. He offers the MODEL a ride, as they drive away he turns on the radio and tells the model how much he likes Alejandro Fernandez. Lety’s eyes shoot open “Tambien me gusta much Alejandro Fernandez……” but Fernando is gone.

Lety gets home somehow anyway and tells everyone, including the ever-present freeloader Tomas, that she is now officially the assistant to the president. They all want to know, “did you get a raise?” “uh no, but I’m sure he’ll take care of that later.” This proves to me that Lety has never held a job before. She gives him waaaaay too much credit. Who gives out money without being asked?

Marcia, the unblinking eye, hey that’s kind of like Sauron from The Lord of The Rings – his tower has this big red fiery eye that is referred to as “The Unblinking Eye.” So Marcia is Sauron. Well that might be WELL over the nerd tolerance of most of you so I’ll keep that to myself. Anyway Marcia is with Fernando’s parents complaining again about Lety. She regularly talks about how Fernando is a dumbass and is giving Lety so much responsibility, right to his parents! For some reason this doesn’t make Fernando’s mother feel strange, she agrees that Lety needs to go. Why? Who knows. The only reason ever given is that Sauron doesn’t like her. Ok, I thought I’d try Sauron once to see how it looked but it doesn’t quite work. I’ll go back to Marcia the Unblinking Eye. Later on, Fernando’s father tells Fernando that he is giving too much trust to Lety. She has a target on her back, watch out Lety.

Meanwhile, Lety is at home roping Tomas in to help her on yet another urgent, due tomorrow morning, business report for a meeting. Yawn. This is to keep the whole plot about Conceptos having money troubles moving along, but right now it’s all just snore on that end. I’m sure later it will mean something, for now bleah. Tomas, as usual, isn’t much help, he’s too busy giving little kissies to his LAMINATED picture of Jessica Rabbit. This guy is creep central, stalker, serial killer. I mean REALLY. What do you think he does when he’s home alone with that picture, hmmm? Never mind, forget I said that. Ugh. He rants and raves about her being with Omar, how can this be true? How can she be with him? Lety basically tells him “DUH you idiot he’s good looking and rich. Get over it. She’s a bitch anyway.”

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Barrera de Amor-Tuesday June 6

Sorry to be late with this; the blog site was down all day and wouldn't let me post! OK, here we go...

Vera-nica is wearing the sluttiest dress ever. As far as I can tell it's a backless dress that's on...backwards! She's blathering happily that finally stupid Veronica and that "babosa" (twit?) Violeta have gone so that she can put her makeup on in peace.

It's raining in Montreal and Federico is running around bumping into locals looking for the casino.

Remember the dress that J-Lo wore to the Oscars? The one that almost had no front? Well this is Vera's dress only pink, and she's wearing it along with her platinum wig into the casino.

Gustavo Arrives at the Vallodolid hacienda and is looking for Remedios. He wants to know the story of Eloisa.

Federico sees Veronica, does the cartoon bug-eye, asks her what she's doing there and what's with the wig? In French Vera says she doesn't understand what he's talking about. Then they speak English to each other. Federico sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. He says she looks just like a friend of his. Quelle surprise, she comes onto him! She speaks perfect English; I wonder where the actress is from?

Remedios tells Gustavo she, Eloisa and Griselda were the Three Amigas. Eloisa fell in love with an out-of-towner. Even though the townspeople said terrible things about her she was a good woman. Gustavo asks if perhaps the same thing hasn't happened to Maite. Remedios always believed Maite was innocent of the terrible things people said about her, but some things happened to give her doubts. One night she ran away with her daughter in her arms. She left a note explaining that she was leaving her husband for another man. She would have left but she missed the train. "Yes," says Gustavo, "I remember the scandal. Was there more?" "Yes, years later, just before Adolfo died in the car accident Maite was arrested by the Mexican civil authorities for being in a house of ill repute." Gustavo remembers reading about that in the papers. (That’s because Manola was waving the paper under his nose for days and even took a copy to Unibrow in Ensenada, remember?) "It was a round up and the photographer got a picture at the Very Moment she was arrested among the other women, hmmm..." a light bulb goes on over his head. "Why do you ask," wonders Remedios, "do you think she’s innocent? It WAS the perfect excuse for Jacinta to get rid of her once and for all." Gustavo wonders if there is another explanation. He wants to investigate but he needs absolute discretion. "Tell no one, not even your son." Oops, too bad his confidant is that bocoza (blabbermouth) Remedios.

Gustavo's maid Evelia is at the winery picking up Don Gustavo's favorite wine that doesn't give him a headache. Baldo arrives and informs them that Jacinta and Federico are in Canada for the girls' graduation. Teodoro and Baldo wish they could be there. Evelia says "el amor no lo frena ni el tiempo ni la distancia" or "love restrains neither time nor distance." They agree that even though they are many kilometers away Juanita has all their love. "And Valeria", adds Teodoro. "And Veronica," thinks Baldo. He's got it bad.

Maite and Victor arrive in Montreal. They are happy even though it's raining. She wants to take him to a special place, it's a surprise.

Valeria and Juanita are in their dreadful play costumes. They are nervous about the play and wonder where Veronica is. The director tells them to chill and to "rompete una pierna." Juanita is shocked, "Huh? Break a leg?"

Vera wins a few coins in the slots. Federico helps her scoop them up, using this as an excuse to nose-dive down her cleavage for a peek. Hey buddy, GROW UP!!!

Jacinta telephones Madre Consuela. She's tired and not used to travel, but she looks forward to seeing the Madre the next day. She says she's too tired to attend the girls' play (whew, that was close!), but she can't wait to see Valeria's face when she shows up at the graduation.

In Ensenada Unibrow tries to console Nutria but she's sick of his crap. He wants her to forgive him for continuing to obsess about Maite for the duration of their marriage. She says she thought their relationship was based on honesty. "But I have never lied to you," he reasons unreasonably. Silence. He leaves. "And you have never loved me," she replies to the empty room.

All of a sudden I think I'm back at La Fea. This slapstick scene features the long-suffering Don Jose and his household of wacky characters, the Joan Rivers lookalike (his sister?) with her doggy, his partner or friend, an old deaf dude serving dinner, and the old dude's nephew who is a portly middle-aged guy cast as a stuttering excitable kid running around in circles. I'm not sure what this scene is all about and how these people are all connected, but if it means anything I’ll get back to you later. For now let's continue with the very serious Barrera.

Ahh, it's a happy family scene at Gustavo's hacienda. Rodrigo in his do-rag is playing solitaire on his lap top and smoking a cigar, Manola alternates between pouting and looking bored, and Gustavo is cutting a deal on the telephone. Gustavo wants his clients to come to the hacienda for dinner but Manola says better to take them out to a nice restaurant. Rodrigo pipes up "better for them to see what a charming hostess you are." Gustavo wants his clients to see what a loving family they are. Manola replies that it may not work out, she has decided that she and Rodrigo have a Moral Obligation to travel to Canada for Valeria's graduation. "A moral obligation???" Even Gustavo has a hard time with this one. Of course! Manola's dad works for Jacinta and Gustavo knows how Jacinta hates to travel and what an experienced traveler Manola is. She can help Jacinta who doesn't speak English or French or anything. "But Federico’s with her." "Oh he’s great company," she sarcastically retorts. Gustavo, knowing he's losing this argument, turns on Rodrigo and yells at him for playing Solitaire instead of working.

In the casino Federico tells Vera about the coincidence of her looking like his friend who actually lives in Montreal, but of course Vera is much more beautiful. She likes this and lets him lay a big smooch on her. He wants to go somewhere where they can get to know each other better. She leaves to exchange her chips for money and he muses "No, she can’t be Veronica, but she sure looks like her." Federico is the grand poobah of sleaze in these scenes!

Remedios pines over Federico's picture. She vows to God to win back his love and respect.

Ick!!! Jacaranda and Nicolas are in bed when his phone rings. Naturally it's his wife who "wants to make sure he's OK." "Of course," he says, "here's a little kiss" as he loudly smooches Jacaranda and hangs up. She laughs at his stupid jokes because she wants something out of him.

Vera slinks out of the casino and catches a taxi. Rodrigo comes out shortly after and realizes he's been ditched. "Looks like that chick left me alone with boiling blood (la sangre hirviendo, i.e. all hot and bothered)." He smirks and adjusts his nads. Dude, gross me out!!

Maite takes Victor to the Notre Dame Basilica. I guess this is the special place. She thanks the Virgin Mother for bringing Valeria back into her life. Now she will have the pride and satisfaction of seeing her daughter graduate.

The girls are on stage. Andres arrives with flowers and Valeria forgets her lines.

Vera counts her money. She has had the best weekend of her life. "Andres, Andre...this time you're going to pay attention to me."

Maite and Victor leave the cathedral. He wants to take her to a marvelous restaurant, "La Cola de Caballo." The Horse's Ass?? I wonder what they serve?

UPDATE: My work pals just laughingly informed me that the La Cola de Caballo means The Ponytail. Whatever.

Andres gives Valeria and Juanita each a bouquet of flowers. He says Veronica told him about the play. They wonder where she is.

Don Jose is talking to Unibrow on the phone. After he hangs up he gets pensive and tells his friend how odd it is that he and Unibrow have such similar histories. "Yes," the friend says, "it's curious that you both had dashed romances in Aguascalientes." "And now he, like I, is back there working," says Don Pedro. His friend adds "sometimes life has surprises and takes us to a place that can heal old wounds." Or something like that.

Unibrow is still sucking up to Nutria who is on the laptop trying to ignore him. He's all excited because Don Jose offered him a larger percentage of the wine sales. He wants Nutria to go with him to Mexico City. "No." "Why not?" "I can't." She won't. Guess it's her last chance to wise up before she's killed off.

At the dorm Valeria and Juanita continue to wonder about Veronica's whereabouts. They worry that if she doesn't show up the nuns will expel her, and so close to graduation.

Cut to the great outdoors, Sacacomie Quebec, where Veronica wanders through the woods and removes a small animal from her head. Oh, it's her wig. She's disoriented and frightened. "Dear God where am I? How did I get here? Why?" She has something in her hand, a hotel key?

The girls wake up and still no Veronica. They're worried but they're afraid to tell the nuns. They decide to search the school one more time.

Unibrow is STILL pressuring Nutria to go to Mexico City with him, and she's STILL using her laptop to ignore him. Remember his belly? Today he is wearing a slimming black shirt. He wheedles. She uses the excuse that she has plans with Reina (the blind lady) and can't cancel at the last minute. He whines. She calls his bluff, handing him the phone and telling him to call Reina himself if it's so important. Gotcha! He leaves. Alone, Nutria calls the Dr. and tells her that after Unibrow leaves she'll come into the hospital for tests.

Vera is still wandering about in Quebec, now closer to a huge lodge. "Hey! It's the hotel that was in the the girls' pamphlet. What am I doing here? Maybe there is a clue in my purse."

Return to the hilarity that is Don Jose's house...Juana Rivers passes her doggie "Cherryita" to the deaf dude so he can feed it its special diet; she says old Tio gets deafer every day, hahaha. The "kid" wants to leave the table to finish or repair the record player. Don Jose rolls his eyes and points out that he has already dismantled every electronic device in the house, hahaha. But Juana Rivers needs help with the musical selection for her next event, a fashion show involving a designer clothing label that aids unwed mothers. It will be in a beautiful place, lots of trees, many flowers on everything. "Just like the beautiful paintings you used to make" says the manchild/electronics assassin. This sets her off talking about her days at the academy of arts and crafts in Barcelona. "Aiieee, again with the stories of art school," sighs Don Jose, "even though they never actually admitted you," hahaha. "You shouldn’t say that, some critics have called my style Neo Primitivism." Don Jose's friend pipes up, "Because it seems to be made by primitive man, but in this era." Hahahaha everybody laughs except Juana Rivers. I still don’t know why these scenes are included but maybe time will tell.

In Quebec Veronica wanders through the lodge, asks to use the telephone and is told she can make calls directly from her room. "My room? Where is it?" In her room she finds her suitcase with the clothes her mother gave to them along with the J-Lo dress that she doesn't recognize. She finds Valeria's card and thinks Valeria must be around somewhere. "Andres and his brother said they were coming here. Did I come with them? Why can’t I remember? I’m going to look for them."

Back in the vineyards Gordo, Teodoro and Baldo are inspecting grapes. Woohoo!!! My prize for the night, Baldo is shirtless and he's ripped, the hunk! Ahem...they are looking forward to exporting their wine to Canada. Remedios arrives with lunch, chicharron gorditas. No! Baldo, don't eat that fattening stuff! You'll end up all gordo!! The guys talk about what a great man Jose Maldonado is. The guys talk about what a great man Jose Maldonado is. The guys talk about what a great man Jose Maldonado is. Oops, that's me rewinding to ogle Baldo some more. Remedios screws up her face, looks all pissed and thought bubbles "Jose Maldonado is the swine who deceived Eloisa, the father of Maite!"

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Who will research "Heridas de Amor" ?

Hey, so there's a replacement coming soon for "Peregrina" - anybody know anything about? Could it, possibly, be better than Barrera?

Could somebody research and report, please?

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Heridas de Amor-Index

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Barrera de Amor: June 5

Remedios and Jacinta, the Bickersisters, appear to be in a cave, fighting yet again over the "affections" of Federico (whom we know to be as cold as a scorpion and disdainful of both). AN EYE FOR AN EYE A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH quoth Jacinta the serial killer as she rejoices that Federico likes her better.

In Canada, Juanita and Valeria ask: "Have we been deceiving Veronica? No, we've just been omitting to tell her the entire truth." Veronica's other personalities have been flirting with every macho in sight and therefore she is under suspicion... Both Andres and Daniel are coming for graduation, also making sales meetings across Canada for the Maldonado wine operation.

Veronica has three mirrors on her dresser: on the right she wears a bad blond wig, on the left she has a short haircut, in the middle she sees her actual self, wincing with the kind of headache you get when you have multiple personalities fighting with each other over which boy to snag.

In Mexico City, Gustavo and his father-in-law Nicolas have dinner together and Gustavo asks, "Was Maite's mother really as sexy as they say? And is it true you and she got it on?" "Hey, we macho guys can't help it if women come after us. But all my passion turned to rancor when she rejected me." "And there are all those rumors about her in the village." "Yes, pueblo chico, infierno grande. (little town, big hell)" Heh-heh. They agree that many of Maite's problems stem from her mother's reputation. Then Nicolas raises and lowers his eyebrows like Groucho Marx as he tells his local squeeze he'll be back soon to see her again.

Maite has tiresome flashbacks.

There are creepy candles being lit in that dark cave, it must be our serial killer, my favorite character, yes, it's Jacinta, giving thanks to God that he gives her such clear signs about what she should do. Now she prays: "Let the bastard son of Pedro come to me, have him become my son and fill the vacuum left by Adolfo's death. Though I'm sorry to say it, Federico is way better than Adolfo my actual son was. Federico is an authentic Valladolid."

Meanwhile, Remedios is also praying - that her son, that same evil Federico, will prefer her to Jacinta, "after I've done everything for him." She wonders if it was worth trying to "seek justice" for him, i.e. to live with Jacinta in order to secure his inheritance.

While Valeria and Juanita watch a video of happier times on the computer, Veronica "accidentally" knocks over Valeria's precious crystal flower. A flurry of accusations and apologies follow. Veronica, eyes wide: "When did I do it? Just now? Oh, how could it have gotten so late? I forget so much! I don't remember at all! Time passes so fast." Juanita is unforgiving and disbelieving. Valeria says it's ok that her most precious artifact (given by Andres) has been broken.

Unibrow gets his two minutes of airtime. His son asks about "the woman you used to love" and, as Nutria lurks in the shadows hearing every word, Unibrow says "That love is buried. I've been happy with Nutria, she's been a good mother. Of course, I haven't forgotten, some loves you don't forget."

Federico and his mother recap an event I never saw. It sounds like Manola attacked Remedios, then the humble indigenous worker Teodoro came to Remedios' aid, and now she's trying to protect Teodoro from legal action. Federico snarls: "That INDIAN can't work here any more! You prefer Teodoro to me! And Jacinta likes me better than you do!" What substantive, mature conversations these people have.

Unibrow and Nutria are at the doctor's office. The doctor tells Nutria: "No, it's not that you're pregnant, something is wrong, we need to do more tests." Nutria has symptoms - headaches - they're not getting better - uh-oh - she's going to have to die so Maite can end up with Unibrow, what an undeserved fate.

Andres and Daniel prepare for their trip to Canada - the Maldonado wine business is going well and all are pleased. My son Zed commented that Unibrow's brows look like gigantic caterpillars. Unibrow is so incredibly unattractive. Have you noticed how they try to hide his belly behind things?

While the boys go downstairs for brotherly hijinx and reminiscing about their love for Juanita and Valeria - Daniel says of Juanita, me clave grueso, which I think means "It's hit me pretty heavy," - Unibrow and Nutria have a fight. She doesn't want any more medical tests, and says: "You don't love me! You never did! I gave you everything! I lost a child! You love her better! Don't touch me!" Then her headache gets worse, she kind of collapses, he puts her on the sofa and says, "Are you sure you're all right?" a stupid question, of course she isn't, moron. The boys come back up so she can say goodbye and we wonder if they will ever see her again. (Creepy music indicates: no.)

Juanita's pet nun says Juanita should go up to the graduation in Canada, not just to please her granddaughter Valeria, but because the nuns up there, to whom Jacinta has contributed grandly, want to say thanks. The nun suggests that Federico, who speaks English, will do admirably as an escort. Jacinta agrees to make this spur-of-the-moment trip and tell nobody!

Meanwhile, Maite and Victor are celebrating the final paying off of their mortgage, and Victor takes Maite to Air Mexico (nice long product placement) to give her a present - they're both going to the graduation! He's selling his motorcycle to pay for the trip! She's happy. The sign for Air Mexico gets lots of airtime.

Juanita and Valeria are in a play about a nun and an ignorant indigenous woman who is being taught to read. It's incredibly patronizing. Juanita, who is Nahuatl (yeah, and I'm Inuit), is wearing a big red headband and buckskins with fringes. Give. Me. A. Break. Meanwhile, Veronica tells a visitor at the theater: "No, I don't like acting. I don't want to pretend to be a different person." Is this heavy-handed irony?

Daniel and Andres arrive at the school. At the nun's headquarters they (coincidentally) find Veronica, who tells them Valeria and Juanita are still down rehearsing the play. Instead of just going over to the theater, which would eliminate a lot of troubles I am predicting, they leave - telling Veronica to tell V & J they'll be back later. She gets their cellphone number too. At their hotel, they find they may have to make an emergency trip to another province. See, it's starting already!

Jacinta gets to her hotel and Federico goes out.

Veronica has another three-way conversation with herself, decides to be a player among the guapos ("I am good at roulette") and steals Valeria's credit card.

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La Fea Más Bella #14-15 Part Seven

Paula Maria comes back to the table and gets Lety to snap out of her daydream. Yes folks, it was all a dream! The writers went to TV writing school and learned all the tricks. They have also mastered the completely misleading preview for tomorrows show, where they clip together unrelated scenes to make you think the Pope is visiting town, when in fact the next episode is about a picnic.

RoboPapa lays into Lety for coming home so late.

Alicia has lunch with Marcia the next day and fills her in on how Ariel, The Little Mermaid (I can’t get over him having the same name, I know, I know, I’m immature), humiliated her at their ‘date’ the other night. Later, Omar finds out about their date and in true macho fashion is pissed off that she went out with someone else. She assures him that he (Omar) is the only one for her. She is thrilled that her attempt to make him jealous worked so well. Omar, now that he is certain that his woman isn’t cheating on him, starts working on his excuse to get away from her so he can go be with some other woman. According to my wife, there is a ‘macho’ epidemic in Mexico, a real double standard. Basically, what I just described above. Men do whatever they want but the women better fall in line dammit. She’s happy with her woefully unmacho gringo husband, he writes novela recaps for cripes sake. But I digress….

Fernando tells Lety that the next morning he’s going to his club to practice for an equestrian event and there will be NO interruptions. No exceptions. De Ninguna Manera. So of course, in the morning, Lety gets a call from somebody or other that they need payment on something RIGHT THIS MINUTE or they will detonate the bomb that they hid in the Conceptos building. No not really, but some other dire circumstance. Of course Lety has to find Fernando to authorize some money transfer or loan request or something. Fernando being at the club, remember, and is NOT to be interrupted. She thinks for about .0001 second before deciding that she should go interrupt him. He turned off his cell phone, so she better go see him.

Lety finds Saimon and tells him she needs a ride. She chose him, I’m sure, due to that fact that he has a scooter and not a car, thereby giving us hope for some sweet motorcycle hair after the ride. He hippity hops and spins and does his Motown shuffle, and off they go.

As hoped, Lety has some awesome windblown hair when they arrive at the club. We see a scene from inside the club, apparently everyone has the day off. Fernando and Omar are both riding horses, Marcia and her sister and brother are lounging around watching. Back to the gate – the guard won’t let Lety and Saimon in, of course. Lety somehow convinces the guy to open the gate after telling him that if she doesn’t get in, some money doesn’t move, and eventually Fernando won’t be able to pay his club dues. She proceeds to scream “DON FERNANDOOOOOO” over and over as they ride through the club grounds. You can’t take Lety anywhere.

They finally see him riding his horse, she keeps yelling at him. He comes over with quite a sour look on his face, and rightly so. She explains everything, he says “oh ok good job” and signs the paper. Just then Marcia shows up and wants to punch Lety in the face but Fernando once again defends her and says she did the right thing. Ohhhhh Fernie my hero! He even, get this, he then invites her to join him for a lunch meeting with some clients in the club restaurant. Marcia storms off and Omar slinks off.

They have lunch with some people who want to do some business and Fernando introduces her as his ‘assistant.’ Lety starts talking some serious stuff. She manages to negotiate them into a corner, where they have to pay a bunch of the fees up front. Fernando is proud.

A funny thing in the restaurant: Lety orders the pasta ‘as you like it.’ The waiter says no no, as you like it means you can have it this way, or that way, or whatever, you know, as you like it. Lety says “oh! As you like it! That’s what I said. That one.” A very naco, Nuevo Rico kind of thing.

Fernando offers to give Lety a ride home, he has a little daydream about shoving her into the trunk so nobody sees him driving with such a fea but snaps out of it and lets her ride in front. What a guy.

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Monday, June 05, 2006

Barrera blogging seems to die - due to lack of interest

Hello,

As far as I can tell, nobody is watching this telenovela - the comments all say "I can't stand the show, but I come visit your site to read the recaps."

But the recappers don't seem to be able to stand the show either.

I'll tape tonight's episode and I'll blog it but unless I see some kind of concerted enthusiasm, this is the last time for me.

If a better show comes along, let us know!

I hope Chris will keep it up with La Fea. Maybe I'll even start watching it.

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Barrera de Amor, Tuesday May 31

After Valeria tells Maite that she will never forgive her mother Maite thinks "But I’m not a bad mother, I'm not!!" No Maite, you're a good mother who has let her daughter grow up in the House of Usher for the past 17 years.

Unibrow does a "woe is me" dump on Daniel. He tells him that Adolfo Valladolid was one of his best friends but "he ended up marrying the woman that was to be my wife. No doubt she married him for his money, and I discovered her deceit because she was pregnant. She made up a story that he forced himself on her." Unibrow continues with the tale we already know, I dozed off and woke to hear him concluding with "the last I heard of her she left her husband and daughter for another man." Daniel figures out that Valeria must be the daughter of "that woman who betrayed my dad." I think Daniel wins the award for being the first person on this show to actually figure something out on his own.

The girls say goodbye to Victor and Maite. Maite gives Valeria a long, lingering hug and tells her to be careful.

The Bickersons are at it again. This time Jacinta and Remedios are arguing about marriage in general, but meaning Rodrigo and Valeria specifically. Remedios says one should marry for money. Jacinta says one should marry to benefit the family which is in keeping with her family-is-livestock theory. Jacinta, accompanied by Remedios' yawns, shares a bit of her childhood with us. Jacinta's father-in-law was like a real father to her, and she like his daughter. Her own father was despicable, always tanked up; she doesn't know how her mother put up with him all those years. Her life before coming to the hacienda was a living hell, "that's why my brother Sergio went away, leaving everything behind. Ah...what ever happened to Sergio?"

Cut to Mexico City and a smarmy-looking bald man in a white suit and pyramid mustache lighting a cigarette in the dark. Who could it be? He is waiting to speak to Pancho. Who shall he say is calling? "My name is Sergio...Sergio Lopez."

Andres is working the Canada angle in order to see Valeria. Daniel, for the first time, tells Andres that perhaps that may not be the best idea. He tells Andres what Unibrow told him, how the Valladolid family wronged their father, stole his woman, threw him in the can on a trumped up charge, etc. It's because of this family that father hallucinates about bulls. Does Andres remember Maite, she of the chocolate cake? Yes, Andres remembers her cake well. Daniel reveals that she is the one who broke dad's heart and Valeria Valladolid is her daughter. Daniel thinks Andres should avoid her because of her family ties. Andres reasons that Valeria is a victim too, and by Daniel's logic they should also avoid Juanita (Daniel's potential babe) and her brother and father (they helped with the winery's success) because Jacinta is their benefactor. Daniel, realizing that Juanita is caught up in this too, agrees that Andres is right, it wouldn't be fair.

Don Jose has approved Andres' proposal to export the wine to Canada. He wants Andres to go to Canada immediately.

Pancho is at the restaurant when he gets a call that a Sergio Lopez wants to speak to him. On his way out he reminds Maite that she agreed to visit his markets. Even though she is in a blue funk because of her daughter she agrees to go as a diversion. He'll pick her up very early the next morning.

Daniel gets an e-ticket for Andres to fly to Montreal. He suggests e-mailing the girls but Andres wants his visit to be a surprise. Andres, shopping for a gift for Valeria, sees a white glass rose in a jewelry shop. Remember, he gave her a white rose when they met.

As Sergio waits for Pancho he has a flashback in sepia tones, demonstrating that he was too poor to flashback in color. His dad is driving and taking a swig of booze every 15 seconds. The kids want to know when they can go to school, but mom says no way, they have to go with daddy to buy and sell harvests and crops, they have to do everything together. Sergio smells alcohol from a nearby cask and says "How I remember that terrible odor."

Sergio meets with Pancho. We find out that Sergio's parents died in a terrible accident (drunk driving no doubt) and that his godfather, Pancho's dad, took care of young Sergio. In a nutshell, Sergio needs money and for old time's sake and in memory of their parents' friendship is hitting Pancho up for a loan. Pancho pulls out his check book.

The girls are back at school. Veronica finds the gifts that Maite bought for all of them. The girls model their new clothes. Juanita looks smashing in her red pantsuit.

Pancho's accountant Guillermo asks why Pancho loaned the money to Sergio. Pancho says it hurts him to see Sergio like that, without a drop of diginity, living on his past glories but dressed like a poor devil. Guillermo tells Pancho he's a nice guy, but they won't see Sergio again. I'm thinking they will.

Federico calls Jacinta to check in. After Jacinta hangs up Remedios gets mad because Jacinta didn't hand her the phone so she could have a turn. "Oh what a shame," Jacinta sarcastically says, "since he didn't ask for you I forgot." Then adds "siempre haces una tormenta en un vaso de agua," which I suppose is the equivalent of "you're always making a tempest in a teapot." She tells Remedios not to be such a martyr. Honest to God, is this the most dysfunctional relationship in telenovela land? I don’t have much experience and would really like to know. Comments anyone? Even my sister and I don’t bicker like these two biddies.

Gustavo is surprised to run into Federico in Mexico City. Gustavo needs to write down a phone number and Federico gives him a card from Maite's restaurant to use, then jokingly recommends the food so Gustavo pockets the card. Gustavo asks Federico what he thinks of Rodrigo. Federico tells Gustavo not to worry, Rodrigo is only going through his rebellious phase. Gustavo doesn't like Rodrigo's superior attitude, especially around people who have no money. Federico, looking forward to the day when Rodrigo will inherit all of Gustavo's wealth is optimistic, "like they say, great companies make great men." Gustavo would prefer that Rodrigo find his "greatness" in an honest day's work.

Now we have what must surely be the oddest of all tonight's scenes...our "rebellious youth" who looks at least 40 is having it out with his mother Manola. She wants to know where he is off to, he says don't wait up. She accuses him of acting up because his father is out of town. He tells her not to be stupid and she slaps his disrespectful and timeworn face. He yells that nobody but Federico understands him. They should really go easy on close-ups of the both of them together, lest we think she gave birth to a ten year old.
NOTE: Did someone say or did I read that the woman who plays Remedios is this actor's mother in real life? Why in the hell is he playing Manola's son?

Maite and Pancho are enjoying the pre-dawn sky. Pancho mentions that he's tired of having his evening glass of wine alone, he longs for a family, children. Maite gets sad and admits that the day before was difficult for her. He offers to buy her menudo and she thinks this is amusing. They tour his vegetable and fruit markets and she does the Valeria dump. He cheers her up by saying that Valeria is bound to someday see that Maite is pure in heart.

Back in Canada Veronica is going through her mental check list of some of the men on her to-do list:
1) Andres-he's a babe but Valeria likes him and Valeria is her friend.
2) Baldomero-he's sensitive, a good person, and treats her well.
3) Rodrigo-she likes him the best, he's very handsome (at the moment she recalls his "guapo-ness" his face is screwed up behind a big chimney of a cigar), has money and they get along very well.
Pan to mirror where Veronica is seeing in 3-V. Violeta prefers Baldo but Vera is lobbying for Andres because he's the most handsome and because this choice will cause Veronica the most grief.

Valeria, standing under a tree, gazes longingly at the white rose that Andres gave to her on the day they met. It is miraculously at this moment that he appears. He apologizes to her for standing her up. She accuses him, and rightly so if you ask me, of not trying hard enough to let her know he was leaving town. He's makes lame excuses that she doesn't believe, she says he's a liar. "Why would I come all this way just to lie to you?" he asks. "Look into my eyes. I know I'm an idiot for forgetting that I had to catch a plane that day." "You are." "But please forgive me." They kiss and make up.

Walking back into the restaurant Pancho hopes that at the very least he helped Maite to forget her sadness for a while. Ulises is there waiting for her. The men kind of smirk at each other waiting for someone to make the first move. Maite, to her credit, decides they should all sit down and have coffee together; she wants to tell them both something. She wants to be very up front with them, at this time she only wants to be good friends as she needs to spend all her time and energy working on the situation with her...(daughter?)

Tivo decided that this scene should end mid-sentence. Good boy, Tivo.

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Barrera de Amor: May 29

  • Jacinta tells Federico he should stop smoking, and asks why his mother Remedios has turned against the dreadful cur Rodrigo. He says he'll find out.

  • Juanita says goodbye to her father (Teodoro) and her brother (Baldo). She wants to study her native culture and write about it someday, but meanwhile, she feels bad they've worked so hard while she's been in school and says she'll come home and work, rather than go on to university.

  • The girls are getting ready to go back to school. Rodrigo greasily suggests he'd like to go skiing up there and Jacinta says, as long as you go with Valeria of course that's fine!

  • Valeria thinks about kissing Andres under a waterfall. She tells Remedios he had said he'd talk to Jacinta - but instead he left without even saying goodbye. Remedios agrees Rodrigo is not the One and says: date more guys.

  • Veronica's various selves have a discussion in the mirror. Violeta likes Baldo; Vera prefers Rodrigo, who is rich and could give her a good life. Baldo shows up and it turns out Veronica (or one of her other selves) has also been flirting with Andres, so Baldo is displeased. After a little flirting (and she charmingly puts on his hat), the sucker forgives her. They say they'll do internet chat when she gets back to school. As soon as he leaves the room one of her inner beings throws his hat on the sofa.

  • Federico and his son Rodrigo have fun waving their cigars around, man to man, and decide the outsiders are no threat to Rodrigo's claim on Valeria - she'll give in and be his, once she gets back to Canada. Rodrigo has, as far as I can see, no charms whatever. Why did he get this gig?

  • Back home, Andres is moping over Valeria even though his career is going well (we hear). "You shouldn't fall in love, it will distract you from the most important thing: The Bull!" Still he continues to mope, and so does his brother Daniel. Unibrow (getting his usual 2 minutes of screen time) points out in a dull, flat voice that vacation romances rarely last. Nutria rushes in with a nutritious dinners but the boys say they aren't hungry and walk out, which is rather rude in my opinion. Unibrow, however, tucks in.

  • Manola's daddy Nicolas is in some other city. He is talking with a friend of Federico when Jacaranda rushes in and Nicolas is stricken speechless by the sight of her ample bosom. He takes her for a drink, sticks his schnozz down her cleavage, and is kissing her right there in public when his superannuated son-in-law Gustavo comes in and sees him. It's all a coincidence. Nicolas says, "it isn't what you think," Gustovo says: "Family is most important," Nicolas says, "I couldn't agree with you more," and then goes and makes an appointment with Jacaranda to get naked together after 10 pm.

  • Maite is packing presents and little notes for the girls, nervous that the chauffeur Jacinta sends will know her. How right she is, it's Federico. He intercepts her on the sidewalk on her way into the restaurant, checks her out and asks if she's married or has a boyfriend. She sidles past him but then goes to hide up in her room.

    She calls Victor, who's entertaining the girls downstairs in the restaurant, and has him send the girls upstairs. A boring scene mostly about presents follows. While Federico grills Victor downstairs to see what he knows about Maite, Maite hears that Valeria is a good cook and makes a great tea (it's the same one Maite's murdered aunt Griselda used to make, the same one Jacinta used to put poison in so Maite would get dizzy and drop her baby Valeria down the stairs).

  • Unibrow holds a family conference. Evidently they've decided as a group to abandon their various professions and go into partnership with the Maldonado brothers in the wine business. Andres perks right up when Unibrow suggests that, with his good English, he'd be the one to open branches in the U.S. and CANADA!!

  • Juanita and Veronica go out to buy herbs, leaving Valeria with Maite. "You're so sweet with Veronica, my grandmother was never affectionate with me, and neither was my father, I reminded him of my mother and that made him sad. My mom was a forbidden theme, I don't know who she was or if she's alive or dead. If there were ever photos, grandmother burned them. She told me my mother was a bad woman, and I figured it out - she left my father for another man. My father suffered so - he never remarried - how could mother have left us?"

    Maite tries to stand up for the theoretical mother: "It can't have been what you thought. What would you do if you met up with her again?" "When I was young, I prayed for her to come back - but now that I know what kind of woman she was, I'll never forgive her."

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La Fea Más Bella #10-13 Part Six

Lety, having claimed to have finished the business plan, is unable to provide it. Remember, the envelope with that CD was lost when she fell getting off the bus. Fernando is acting un poco loco with all that is going on, there is a meeting and he NEEDS those numbers. He asks both Lety and Alicia to get him something, neither of them can produce more than ‘uh uh well jeez uh….’

To make matters worse, Mama Padilla tells Lety that RoboPapa is on the way to Conceptos to have a word with Fernando. We can only hope that he keeps his ninja skills under wraps and truly intends to just talk. I don’t know if my brain can handle martial arts and Spanish all at the same time. Maybe to top it all off it could be in black and white, showing some other guy smoking a cigarette and talking about death, like a German film. Then the TV would explode.

RoboPapa shows up and asks for Fernando. Lety finds RoboPapa in the lobby and tries to head him off at the pass. She basically tells him to hit the bricks, he naturally assumes that she is ashamed of him. That’s not true, but it should be. “Si Papa, I would love to introduce my dreamy boss to my steam-powered father.” I don’t think so. Besides, at this moment Fernando has steam coming out of his own ears.

Lety runs him off and heads back upstairs. Fernando has had enough. He calmly tells her that she’s fired. I thought this was another dream sequence, but no, he really said it. It’s time to start a count of how many times Lety has been fired.

CANNED = 2 TIMES

She goes to her office and sniffles and cries. Meanwhile, somebody’s kids find the envelope with Lety’s CD in it. Everyone at this company has kids and perpetual babysitting issues. Paula Maria has a kid that has to hide under her desk a lot, I think he keeps getting kicked out of school. I imagine it’s from getting in fights about his clothes, she has him dressed like he’s going to golf school. Green pants and a polo shirt, and a matching green cap. He was probably tired of getting his ass kicked for wearing that stuff and fought back. Then Olarte and Marcia’s secretary has two kids who always don’t have anyone to watch them, so she sneaks them in and hides them in an empty office or something. These kids are the ones who found the envelope. They decide to try and find out who this Leticia Padilla is. Can they just put it in the mail cart or something? Nooooooo. They sneak around, avoiding everyone. If they keep avoiding everyone and not asking who Leticia is, how are they going to find out?

A package arrives via Saimon, this one for Ana Leticia Villaroel, sister to Marcia and Ariel. Finally the confusion between Ana Leticia and Leticia! Lety is told that there is an envelope for her, she is excited and rushes down and tears it open, turns out the envelope has a couple fake boobs in it, bra-stuffers. She is now despondent. Right then, though, the kids show up with the other envelope, Omar takes it from them and he and Lety run up to give it to Fernando. All ends well, with Lety again sniffling and crying.

Fernando has no recollection of firing Lety. “Really? Well since you got this report here you aren’t fired, forget about that.” I’d forget about it right after an APOLOGY. Lety is more forgiving though, she goes back to dreaming about being Mrs. Fernando.

Fernando does a quick reversal of his earlier firing of Lety, realizing now that she is vital to the company. He calls her in and tells her that, finishing with “tu eres la mujer que yo necesito,” you are the woman that I need. Omar overhears this last part and has a field day teasing Fernando about his new novia, once Lety leaves the room of course. He can offer nothing but “yeah yeah whatever Omar, good one, how old are you anyway?” or something along those lines.

Alicia tells Marcia that she didn’t do any of the work, Marcia is pissed. How can she have Alicia keep tabs on Fernando if she doesn’t keep her job?

Omar tells Fernando that Alicia was going to try and do that work, but that she asked him for help, and well, you know. That help resulted in low-flow showerhead hair for Alicia and them using the same soap. Fernando finally comes right out and asks Lety if Alicia really did that earlier report that she was so quick to take credit for. Lety says “if she did that, then she could have done this one too, right?” She grins smugly. Fernando smiles and says that yes, she could have. We’re all on the same page here. Lety smart, Alicia dumb. Fernando has big plans for Lety, she is going to be a big part of the company. Lety wants to just be a big part of Fernando’s bow-chicka-bow-bow but will settle for being important at work.

The next day Tomas is at the Padillas’ house freeloading some food and lets slip that while Lety does executive work, she’s techinically (and is paid like) a secretary. OOPS. Wow is it any wonder this guy hasn’t gotten any farther in life. He’s supposed to be smart, but his role in this novella so far is to be the buffoon.

RoboPapa’s steam engine gets pumping in the next gear, he starts yelling at Mama saying “how can this be?” Earth to RoboPapa – it’s not Mama’s fault. Helloooooooo. Anyway, he is going (AGAIN, this whole theme is getting old) down to Conceptos straight away to get her out of there. Nothing shows support for your daughter who should be working as an executive like showing up and treating her like she’s five. Nice work RoboPapa.

Mama and Tomas are no match for a lumbering, wheezy old man, he uses his Robo stiff arm to push them back and lurches out the door. Mama calls Lety on the phone to tell her what happened and to warn her that he’s on the way. “Hurricane Erasmo!!!! EEEeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!” Lety is too busy for the call, though, and cuts her off before she says that he’s on the way. I sense more running around like Jack Tripper and John Cleese again.

Meanwhile, the big meeting is called to order, now that the numbers have arrived. RoboPapa shows up and is about to barge in when he hears Fernando say to Olarte, “from now on, from this moment, you will report all the bank and treasury movements and transactions to la señorita Leticia Padilla.” RoboPapa beams and decides everything is fine. This guy has one brain cell. Maybe none. All this does is verify the problem that got him so pissed off in the first place. Lety does executive work but is getting ripped off in her paycheck. Well, tomorrow is another day. Another day, another visit to Conceptos by RoboPapa.

Later that night Lety writes in her journal that she’s giving up on love, nobody will ever love her, men would never want to meet someone ugly like her. Sniff sniff.

Alicia goes on a dinner date with Ariel that Marcia set her up with. She is supposed to meet him at 8:00, she shows up ten minutes late. He’s already eating. She asks him, basically, “what the hell???” He says she was late, so he ordered. I want to know what restaurant this is, because they have the best service of all time. In ten minutes he can order, be served, and be halfway through his dinner. That’s incredible. Anyway, Ariel is a complete and utter ass, Alicia tries to flirt a little and make nice, Ariel quickly tells her that they have nothing in common, she’s trash trying to act like she’s somebody, he really puts her down. I almost feel sorry for her. NOT. She gets pretty pissed, naturally, and says fine, if we have nothing in common I’ll just go. He says “well, we could still have sex.” She declines and leaves. Ariel should take lessons from Fernando, then he’d learn how to be smooooth with the ladies. And it wouldn’t hurt to not be so nasty ugly either, I’m sure.

The next day Paula Maria invites Lety out for a drink, an old boyfriend is in town and invited her out. He has a friend and she needs to bring someone for him. She reaches the end of her list and Lety is all that is left, she of course says she’ll go. Paula Maria’s date looks like the assistant manager at Main Street Used Cars. I’d say he’s about 50, with a very round shape and very average looks, wearing a cheap suit. I have no idea why she got so excited that he was in town. Maybe he’s rich. His buddy, Lety’s de facto date, is a younger guy (His trainee? The guy who washes the car after you buy it?) who does the now famous Lety Recoil. They go to the bar, Paula Maria and her date hit the dance floor, leaving Lety and Trainee at the table. Lety gamely tries to make conversation, she seems to be overcoming some of her shyness, but the guy would rather be anywhere else in the world but here. She eventually gives up and just sits there drinking. Careful Lety, that’s not ginger ale!

Fernando is finishing dinner with Marcia at her place. He suggest going out, it’s a Friday night and he wants to party. She wants to stay in. Finally she tells him “Fine, go ahead and go out.” She says it nicely, not bitchy. That should have been the enormous red flag. Your fiancée is telling you to ‘go ahead’ and go out on a Friday night without her. Oh Fernando have you learned nothing? You will pay for this in the end, I’m sure. It will be thrown back at you during the next 100 arguments and beyond, perhaps on Marcia’s deathbed. “Fernando I wouldn’t be dying if you hadn’t so selfishly gone out without me that time.”

Back to Lety at the bar – she is sitting there glumly as her date spends a really long time in the bathroom. Suddenly an angel appears – no wait, it’s Fernando, even better. He chose this bar to come to and cut a rug. He sees Lety and heads over to talk. Lety is of course beside herself with giddiness. They chat for a minute, and then Fernando invites her to dance. She dances like a horse. Well, so do I so I can’t criticize. Trainee shows up and demands to know who this guy is, and then tells Fernando that Lety is with him. Lety tells him that it’s her boss, and besides Trainee wasn’t talking to her for the last hour anyway. Trainee tells her to decide, him or me? Before she can answer, Fernando punches him in the face and knocks him down. Lety is almost in tears over this manly gesture. Fernando leans in to give her a kiss……….

BIENVENIDOS AL CLUB AL CLUB AL CLUB AL CLUB DE LAS FEAAAAAAAAAS

Yes, that was the end of that particular episode and a great place for me to stop for now. Back soon with more.

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Friday, May 26, 2006

Friday May 26

Barrera de Amor

My VCR or more likely the tape inside malfunctioned tonight. Here is a quick recap of what I remember of the show.

Valeria tells Remedios she is in love with Andres. Remedios tries to talk Valeria into loving Rodrigo instead. Valeria stays strong and says "wait until tonight. Andres is coming to the house to talk to my grandmother."

Federico tells Remedios he is the father of Rodrigo. She is upset and says "you promised me your relationship with her (Manola) would end after I caught you together!" Federico cries about being a bastard. Remedios claims he is not a bastard he is a "good boy". She is incredulous to the revelation that she has a grandson, another Valladoloid no less. Then she remembers Valeria. She cant have Valeria and Rodrigo hooking up now! She thinks she might have to tell Federico that he is a Valladoloid.

Andres stands up Valeria. He had promised to come to the hacienda and tell the crabby old lady his intentions for Valeria. Instead he has to return to baja california with la familia. Valeria is devastated and tells Jacinta that it is over for her and the torrero. Jacinta explains that many men come to Aguascalientes for the fair iust to have fun with the girls they meet, not to find girlfriends.

Gustavo continues cracking down on Rodrigo for being a loser. He tells the guy who works for them - the one who always covers up for Rodrigos lack of a work ethic by doing all his work - that he (Gustavo) knows that the guy does all the work for Rodrigo but it has to stop.

Remedios panicked that if Valeria and Rodrigo get together they will have deformed children she tries multiple times to stop Valeria and Rodrigo from doing things together. Pissing Jacinta and Federico off in the process. How dare Remedios interfere with Rodrigo or "her son". To further complicate the process Rodrigo buys a camcorder for Valeria. Remedios tells Valeria she shouldnt take the gift if she doesnt want to be promised to Rodrigo. Valeria takes the gift to prove the point that she is over Andres. (Yes right) Later Valeria and Rodrigo laugh about the old fashioned way Remedios said she would be promised to him if she accepted the gift. They both seem to know that is a joke. But seeing what a loser Rodrigo is I wonder if this camera doesnt raise its ugly head again....

The girls get ready to leave for Canada. Gustavo and Nicolas (separately) take off to la Cuidad (mexico city) for business. MM (Manolas Mom - as Sylvia so wisely penned it) is suspicious of her husband. Jacinta is suspicious that Andres will try and meet up with Valeria in the airport. MM just hopes that her husband wont cheat on her while Jacinta takes action. Jacinta enlists Federico to go to the airport to spy on Valeria and make sure she doesnt get any surprise visitors.

Jacinta ends her plotting with Federico saying "cuentas claras amistades largas". Which roughly translates to Transparent Accounts Long Friendships or more to the point Keep business straight and you will have long friendships.

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Barrera, Thursday May 25

When last in Barrera-land Federico, in a grossly misguided attempt at parenting, meets some criminal in a bar and pays him to do something bad to Baldomero, the kid (Juanita's bro) who accidentally kicked a soccer ball into Rodrigo's car. (Remember, Rodrigo stopped, made racist comments and Andres gave him a bloody lip, but since Baldo is an Indian he's the guy that gets the hit.) The bad guy steals a VW Bug, that most intimidating of all vehicles, drives about 5mph in a speedy getaway, follows Baldo on his bicycle and knocks him over. Baldo is unhurt but his bicycle is busted. El Gordo drives by, picks him up and takes him home. They think the accident is very suspicious. (Ya think??? The driver is going 5 mph, has the whole road but hits the kid on the bike.)

Ulises picks up Maite for their symphony date. Oops, Victor and Pancho walk up; Pancho thinks he has a dinner date with her that Victor arranged. Uncomfortable shuffling of feet. Maite chooses the concert "because Ulises already has tickets." Now Victor has to open a bottle of wine and make fun of Ulises' name to make Pancho feel better. Pancho says it was practically love at first sight with Maria Theresa. They laugh about their prep school days. Pancho asks Victor about his relationship with Maite and Victor tells him the reason they aren't a couple is because he, Victor, is gay.

Valeria and Veronica are talking about how strict Jacinta is. Valeria excuses her abuela by relating how Jacinta was forced to take control of the hacienda at a young age. (Forced by God to kill her husband and everybody else who got in her way I guess.) Veronica says Jacinta is a control freak and does she always have to wear black? Valeria says Jacinta is very generous which is why the whole town loves and respects her. Valeria somehow misses the fact that Veronica keeps trying to light her fingers on fire during this entire conversation.

Pancho admires Victor's honesty; he would never have suspected Victor is gay. Victor gives a short tutorial on being gay: most gays are not effeminate or try to look like women; they are normal, common people. Pancho says they will always be friends. Even better now that he knows Victor is not going to "make like a fly", i.e. be buzzing around Maria Theresa, he'll have enough of this with Ulises.

Maite loved the concert, the music made her cry. Ulises wants to go out with her again but she wishes to be very clear, she only wants to be friends. He accepts her terms. He asks about Pancho and she says she met them at the same time. Ulises says he's happy just to hang out with her.

Jacinta creeps up on Veronica who is reading, startles her and asks her if she's in the habit of visiting folks and then sticking her nose into business that doesn't concern her. She thought Valeria had invited an educated young woman, "not a busy-body like YOU." Veronica replies that she didn't mean any harm, she was just alone and bored. Jacinta, ever the charming hostess, snaps that she knows Veronica's kind...she's just like a little tart who used to live in town, (presumably Veronica's mother Magdalena). Veronica asks why Jacinta is telling her this piece of info. Jacinta says it's because she can see beyond what others see. She divines that Veronica has a secret, something important. Veronica, in a cheeky and sarcastic tone, says "No, I'm just a friend of your granddaughter, and AGAIN please excuse me for going into your room. I promise from now on I won't EVER go where I'm not invited." Jacinta doesn't want Veronica to tell Valeria about this conversation. Jacinta doesn't realize she is now talking to Vera, who removes her hair clip and starts to chomp at Jacinta with it. Then Vera-nica flounces off to her bed and flops down on it. Clearly from Vera's perspective the conversation is over. Jacinta, not used to this tone of voice from anybody except Remedios, shakes her head and wonders "What's that all about? I'm going to have to crack that head with my stick." Vera-nica continues to chomp at the air with her clip...rowr, rowr.

Unibrow and Don Jose are having a farewell coffee. Uni is returning to Ensenada and Jose is also leaving. Jose says returning to Aguascalientes was very difficult for him, so many bitter memories...a woman. Years ago in this very place he loved the only woman he ever loved in his life, but she betrayed him by leaving him for another. "Wow," says Uni, "the same exact thing happened to me." (And also to about 10 million other people.) They both agree that when the past is too painful it's best to live in the present. Yep, I guess that's why Uni is always fantasizing Maite's face in place of his beautiful wife's, because he's no longer living in the past.

Valeria is cooking breakfast for Baldomero and Juanita. The girls are going into town and it will be Baldo's task to occupy Veronica while Valeria has a rendezvous with Andres.

Federico shows up at Gustavo's place. Manola is peeved and wants to know what the devil he is doing there. Gustavo announces it's because he invited Federico to be there. He says he's worried about Rodrigo being a complete waste product and has enlisted Federico's assistance. Rodrigo arrives and is not happy to hear that he will be working instead of escorting the girls to Aguascalientes. He tries to wriggle out of it but Gustavo is adamant "No, work first!" Federico offers to go with them while at the same time undressing Manola with his eyes.

Baldo shows up at the hacienda to pick up the girls. Jacinta yells at him for wearing his sombrero indoors. Rodrigo is unable to escort them into town today so Baldomero is their escort. All the girls over-emote "Oh what a shame about Rodrigo!" Then in Juanita's language she and Valeria say how happy they are about it. Jacinta yells at them for talking Indian. They are finally acting like regular kids, pissing her off and laughing hilariously about it. After they leave she mutters some more about cracking heads.

Maite and Victor are shopping for the girls and purchase every pink outfit in the store.

In Aguascalientes the girls need to run separate "errands." Baldomero will escort Veronica.

Federico and Rodrigo are strolling through what is perhaps Gustavo's dairy or plant? Anyway, they are swaggering, maybe pretending to work. (Management by walking around as one of my odious ex-bosses used to say, what a jerk.) Rodrigo says he doesn't know what he'd do without Federico's help. Federico tells Rodrigo that last night he arranged for some criminal to target Baldomero, nothing too serious, only something to give him a good fright. Rodrigo loves the news and wants details. Federico man-jokes that if Rodrigo "behaves himself" he'll fill him in. They snicker. (Yeah, that's a laugh allright, running somebody over on their bicycle.) I found this scene really funny...Federico has the confident swagger that comes from years of insolence and boinking somebody's wife, but Rodrigo is trying so hard it looks like he has hemorrhoids. Then I reversed the tape and Rodrigo looked like a duck walking backwards. He needs to take cool lessons.

Baldomero is giving Veronica a museum tour. She tells him she had a lonely childhood, her mom was sick a lot and worked nights. She only had two friends, Vera and Violeta. "Do you still see them?" "No, no, I stopped seeing them when I moved to Canada. I shared all my dreams and desires with them." Baldo says he dreams of being a professional soccer player.

Andres and Valeria are sucking face of course, this time by a waterfall. They are getting hot and heavy. "Not now," she says, "I'm not ready to go there." He agrees it's soon and maybe they should wait until their relationship is more firmly cemented. She wants to finish school and return to him. He hopes she doesn't forget him.

Unibrow and Nutria agree the trip was a great experience for them, winning the gold medal and all. All of a sudden...Mariachis!!! Nutria loves Mariachias!! Off she runs, giving Uni a chance to recall, AGAIN, another time, a happier time, when he was serenading Maite in, I swear this is true, a Mariachi outfit. This memory is thankfully short. When Nutria returns he sees Maite's face instead hers as he gazes into her/her eyes. He's such an a**hole.

Don Pedro and his entourage are dining and discussing the wine event. Oh look!! What a coincidence, the woman with them has the same plastic surgeon as Joan Rivers! One of the guys (is this the guy that was sucking up to Jacinta a couple of episodes ago?) says that Jacinta is the patron for the region. Don Pedro points out she's very, er, severe. The suck-up says she has a tough exterior but she is well-respected. Don Pedro says when people seem to be that perfect there is always something wrong. "No, not Jacinta, in her case it's all true. She is as virtuous as she seems." For a serial killer.

Andres must have excessive sperm buildup because he seems to have lost his mind. He has been thinking about talking to Jacinta before Valeria leaves. Valeria thinks this is a terrible idea. Duh. Nevertheless he wants to be up front. She tries to talk him out of it. He'll be there at 7:00. Later, when they tell Juanita, she's shocked and dismayed and says Jacinta will slam the door in his face.

Jacinta and Manola's Mom (MM) are having a bitch-session at the hacienda. MM says her husband Nicolas will go after anything in a skirt. Jacinta says "You don't still get jealous over that stuff, do you?" MM points out that during the wine event the sore subject of that "mujerzuela" (loose woman) Eloisa came up again, it's the bane of her existence, even after all these years. Jacinta says "if a man is unfaithful it's because a woman who acts like a streetwalker crosses in front of him." "Yep, that's what Eloisa did all right, she put herself in front of Nicolas, not because she wanted him but to take him away from me." Remedios shows up with the tea service and screams "Lies! Don't say those vile lies about Eloisa. I'm not going to stand here listening to you slander the reputation of an innocent woman, a woman who is dead!" "Oh, she didn't have the least little scruple about putting it in front of a married man. My huband!" Jacinta interjects that clearly for Eloisa a man like Nicolas was a means for climbing the social ladder. "Lies!" screams Remedios. "Do you know when Nicolas began to hate Eloisa? It was when he realized that a poor and lower class woman like her didn't want anything to do with him." MM says that's a total lie. Remedios adds that she has no doubt it was Nicolas who spread the lies and gossip that led to Eloisa's bad reputation. Jacinta says that Eloisa worked hard to earn her own bad reputation. She allowed herself to get pregnant by that out-of-towner, remember??? Remedios answers that Eloisa's only mistake was being in love.

Back at the museum Baldomero is giving Veronica the tour when Andres happens by. Uh oh...someone with a mirror walks by we see that it's that blond slut Vera, not Veronica, who is up at bat. Vera-nica looks in the mirror and likes what she sees. She invades Andres' personal space and insists he join them. She keeps grabbing his arm and he keeps brushing her off. She sends Baldo off to get her some hot chocolate so that she can try to crawl into Andres' clothes while he's still wearing them. She keeps rubbing him and saying "don't you find me attractive?" Baldo with the hot chocolate listens at the door while Andres gets mad at her and stalks off. She follows him outside and hears the crazy tornado in her head as she turns back into Veronica. Baldomero is pissed at her.

The Unibrow family is outside their hotel ready to leave Aguascalientes. Andres finally shows up and they ask him where in the heck he's been. "Where are we going?" he asks. "What world are you living in?" Unibrow asks. "We're returning to Ensenada according to our plan." Andres doesn't want to go, he has to talk to Valeria. Nutria tells him to telephone her. They grab him and walk toward their taxi.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Barrera de Amor May 23

UPDATE: QUICKIE RECAP

OK, so feeling a bit guilty about not recapping Tuesday's Barrera, here is a quickie...

Maite is reading the poetry book when the guy who left it at the cafe shows up to get it. They like each other. His name is Ulises Santillana. He lets her keep the book as a loan and hopes they can get together for coffee. (This guy is much better than Pancho who has unnaturally white and even teeth.) Later in her room she reads some poetry and absolutely ruins the mood by fantasizing about Unibrow. It's a totally gross fantasy with big head shots of him laughing. Scary.

At the wine competition El Gordo and Unibrow win the gold medal. They're happy and talk really fast. At the Valladolid table Veronica acts stupid and giggly with Federico.

Later that night Valeria sneaks out to meet Andres and Juanita stays in her bed as a decoy.

Federico and Jacinta are doing paperwork when Valeria runs in screaming about a scary spider. This gives her the opportunity to shake her bootie in front of Federico. After she leaves Jacinta says that Valeria reminds her of that no-goodnik Magdalena who nearly ruined her son Adolfo.

Jacaranda pumps Maite for info about Veronica...does she remember much about her childhood in the brothel? She's trying to find out if Veronica remembers when that slimeball Rafael strangled Magdalena. We find out Jacaranda's husband is old and sick. How convenient for her.

The Bickersons (Jacinta and Remedios) have another one of their "conversations." This time Jacinta tells Remedios that Federico is more like her own son than the son of Remedios. Jacinta gets creepy and talks about the hand of God laying waste to her enemies. Remedios says that she sounds like some kind of prophet or something, does she really think she can predict God's will?

Valeria connects with Andres at the hotel. Juanita hides under the covers when Jacinta comes in looking for Valeria. The decoy works. Later Andres and Valeria stand directly in front of the Hacienda gate, wearing white so as to be more visible in the dark, kissing and saying they love each other. They plan to meet the next day. After Andres leaves she nearly gets spotted by Federico, but she manages to successfully sneak back into her room.

Maite dreams about Pancho with the gleaming teeth, then Ulises (my vote), then decides that she doesn't have time for men, she has to concentrate on her children.

The boys Daniel and Andres fantasize about the girls, Valeria and Juanita giggle about the boys, it's cute.

Jacaranda recalls Magdalena's murder and drops a glass. Veronica starts to remember her childhood in the brothel. She remembers that her mother was a prostitute.

In the morning Valeria goes out riding on Jacinta's favorite horse, Archangel, who is apparently high-spirited and dangerous. She meets Andres. (At last, a man who looks good on a horse!)

Maite and Veronica talk on the phone. Maite almost lets slip that she knows people in the household but she successfully backpedals and Veronica doesn't catch on. Veronica says everybody there is nice except Jacinta who is odd. Maite tells Veronica to stay out of Jacinta's way. Veronica, bored, wanders around the house, stops in front of Adolfo's portrait, and gazes at it.

More on Thursday...

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La Fea Más Bella #7-9 Part Five

I’m going to have to catch up quickly, my memory of some details is getting fuzzy being weeks behind. Let’s see what we can do to catch up.

Alicia tells Marcia of her plan to steal Lety’s business plan work and present it as her own. Marcia gets her devil look and agrees that this is a good idea. For some reason Marcia has started to be jealous of Lety and the fact that Fernando is nice to her. She has now reached the status of the stupidest woman of all time. She has caught him cheating with all sorts of hotties, now she’s up in arms about La Fea. She has real issues and needs to work on them, I think. I don’t even know what else to say about this.

I do have one other thing about Marcia – I think she’s a robot too. She never blinks. She has only a couple facial expressions, most famously the devil/dog baring teeth look. But most noticeably, SHE DOESN’T BLINK. I swear. I look really hard ever time she’s on camera. No blinking. Somebody needs to research and see if her real name is “model x4500” or something.

Paula Maria the receptionist gets the entire Club de Las Feas together to have a big cry about how her boyfriend dumped her. I guess this whole scene is to establish that she’s a single mom who has trouble with men. She’s still hot though, we are reminded, because as soon as she leaves and gets on the elevator, Omar (Vice-Horndog, to Fernando’s Horndog-in-Chief) immediately tries to move in on her in a manner that would look over the top in a porno, here it looks beyond ridiculous. Nevertheless, she swoons and acts a little like she’s having an orgasm just from Omar hitting on her. Really an uncomfortable scene.

Omar didn’t waste any time, next thing you know he’s repeating an earlier scene of being at a bar with some woman, with another woman to spare sitting there too, on the phone with Fernando trying to convince him to come out. Again, Fernando can’t go, as Marcia has managed to get her hooks into him for the evening. After Fernando gets off the phone, he starts making out with Marcia in his office (he is the president and you know what presidents do in their offices). Lety walks in on them and sees what they are doing, she goes and hides in her office and sniffles from sadness and jealousy. She wants Fernando to be putting little kisses on that nice moustache of hers. Bleah it made me shiver just to write that.

We now meet Ariel again, he arrives for the meeting and is introduced to Lety. He is speechless that this Fea is the secretary for the president of the company.

Alicia follows through on her plan to steal Lety’s work and pass it off as her own. She is really in charge of getting coffee and snacks, but when she waltzes in to the meeting with the business plans she told Lety she would ‘deliver’ for her, nobody bats an eye as she pretends like she did the whole thing. Everybody takes a quick look and Don Humberto comments on what a good job she did with it.

Lety drowns her sorrows in some food all alone, but the Club de Las Feas invites her to come eat with them, which improves her spirits a bit.
In the meeting, the pissing contest continues over Fernando getting to be the president. Ariel pouts and whines, Marcia finally yells at him that she voted against him because until now, he never showed the slightest bit of interest in the company. Ariel pouts some more. Something about this family – Marcia doesn’t blink, Ariel is unable to move his lips. They are stuck in pout.

Lety wants to say that the work was hers and not Alicia’s, but can’t figure out how to do it without being a whiner. I say be a whiner, but that’s me. She talks to her mom on the phone, she tells her that she is thinking of quitting before she gets fired. Why does she think she’ll get fired? Who knows. She worries a lot.

The employees throw a little retirement party for Don Humberto, he is flattered, so flattered in fact that he stays for a whole five minutes before bailing out.

Fernando asks Alicia to make another report for him since her first was so good, she stutters and stammers about how much time she needs for it, uh, well see, uh, etc. Fernando asks Lety if Alicia did in fact do that business plan or if it was Lety’s work. Again Lety says nothing, but this time looks smug, since she senses Alicia is about to hang herself. Alicia goes back to her desk and worries about what to do since she has no clue how to do the work Fernando asked for.

Fernando and Omar take a break from chasing tail to do some work. They discover that the original business plan that Fernando wrote up neglected to take into account some debt and interest. Here is where I have to suspend even more disbelief. I am an accountant by trade, it is IMPOSSIBLE to prepare a financial summary of a company and ‘overlook’ debt. It is a principle component of a company’s financial situation. Do you ever consider your personal financial situation and ‘forget’ the money you owe? “Dang I should be a millionaire, where does all my money go? OH YEAH – my mortgage, car, credit cards…….” So, two things are possible here – the accountant who prepared the information that Fernando used is stupid or crooked, or Fernando himself has absolutely no clue about this sort of thing. Both are very very possible. The finance guy, Olarte, is indeed an idiot. And Fernando would only care about debt if it had boobs. The logical thing to do here would be to come clean, but this is America after all! No wait - it’s Mexico, but apparently they have been paying attention. Rule number one is cover your ass. Usually the lying is to protect stock price or something, in this case they can’t come clean because Ariel would use it to push for a re-vote for the presidency.

Saimon the dapper messenger offers to give Paula Maria a ride home but she declines. Poor guy, he’s always around trying to win her over but she thinks he’s a clown. Obviously, then, at the end of the show they are sure to get together. That’s my guess. She DOES, however, quickly accept Omar’s offer of a ride, right in front of Saimon, He makes an awesome sniffle sniffle I’m not gonna cry face.

The next day Alicia decides to try and work an angle. She asks Omar for help on the work that Fernando assigned, knowing that she can never do it alone. She also wants to win Omar over to her side, that will help keep her in good with Fernando. He takes a look at her cleavage and her short skirt and readily accepts. Meanwhile, Lety and Tomas are at Lety’s house working on the same project, but in this case it will actually get done.

Lety confesses to her mother that she is only Fernando’s secretary, not his assistant. She must have been weak from the lack of sleep, she and Tomas stayed up half the night working. This Tomas guy sure gives a lot for free. It has every indication of him being hot for her so he helps her so much, but that’s not the case. He is in loooooooooove with Alicia, just from seeing her picture in a magazine. He cut out the picture and laminated it. Aaahhh – now I know. He’s always begging Lety to introduce him to Alicia, that’s why he is kissing up so much. Did you catch the part back there? He cut out Alicia’s picture and LAMINATED it. Stalker alert. Holy cow.

The scene at Alicia’s apartment – she is cooking spaghetti and Omar is openly ogling her. He has the constipated look again, the one where he is consumed by lust but really just looks like he needs to drink some coffee to get the system back in order. They talk about nothing and eat dinner. Omar is trying to get her to have more wine. And more. And a little more. It works. By the time Alicia sits down at the computer, Omar is nibbling on her neck. You can imagine the rest.

Lety gets the work done and puts it on CD to take it back to work. She takes the little microbus to work, it only slows down in front of Conceptos this day instead of actually stopping. Lety valiantly tries to do a Keanu Reeves in Speed style disembarkment while the bus is moving, but of course she takes a huge spill, trashing her stocking and her knee. The envelope containing the CD with the work slides away behind a large potted plant but Lety doesn’t notice. I see more Fawlty Towers in our future.

Fernando wants the work from Lety, she can’t find it and starts freaking out. Her lip and eye twitch are working overtime here. Lety was on the phone with her father when Fernando asks, so RoboPapa overhears Fernando speaking rather harshly with Lety. He is immediately pissed and is going to come down to her work to have a word with him. Don’t **** with RoboPapa, we have learned.

Meanwhile, Omar and Alicia are late late late for a meeting. Fernando is really steamed about it. Lety says with a grin “do you think they are together?” Fernando smiles like a 12 year old and says “I don’t know! Maybe! Do you think?” before snapping out of it and ordering Lety back to work. Omar and Alicia show up together shortly after, looking like they slept in their clothes. Fernando starts to pace back and forth and chews them out. He stops and sniffs them. “El Mismo Jabon!” Fernando the bloodhound has deduced that they used the same soap! Is your boss allowed to sniff you? I didn’t think so. The best part of this scene is seeing Alicia’s hair look limp, like everybody in that one episode of Seinfeld when they got the low-flow shower heads.

I’ll be back soon with the latest edition of Fawlty Conceptos, see you then.

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Barrera de Amor: May 22

  • Now it's Pancho dreaming of Maite! He says it was love at first sight. He wonders why Victor hasn't conquered her. He shows up with flowers; she brushes him off, but says they can be pals. He, poor deluded soul, later tells his friend, "we'll start out as pals but then oo-la-la!"

  • Here is the murderer of Veronica's mother Magdalena, plotting with the wife of Don Eduardo. Don Eduardo is feeling worse every day. Soon she will be a widow and inherit everything! But she's worrying about Veronica, who perhaps as a baby saw something during the unfortunate murder of her mother, being back in Mexico. He suggests an "accident" could befall Veronica, but this woman thinks that might be too coincidental and might lead to investigation - "first the mother gets clocked, and then the daughter's tennis shoes get hung up?" (Meaning she was murdered.)

  • At an organically-grown-grapes wine tasting, Daniel coughs. Andres asks him a favor: go to the hacienda and pass a message along to Valeria to meet Andres at the wine-tasting that night! Daniel is executing this request, talking with Juanita, when Jacinta comes along; Juanita covers, saying Daniel is there to see her. Later in this same visit Federico surprises Jacinta in Daniel's company. He grabs her roughly and tells her not to bring her lovers to the hacienda. She denies all, stoutly. "Then why were you so nervous?" He threatens: "you wouldn't want your father and brother to have to pay for the broken plates."

  • There are several scenes of Maite talking with Victor about his being gay. He never told Veronica, and he never told his longtime friend Pancho - in fact, way back when Victor even had girlfriends. Maite tells him he's been an excellent father to Veronica.

  • Rodrigo tells his pal Omar he's not really interested in Valeria, but he'll win her for sport. Omar thinks he's playing with fire.

  • Remedios presses Valeria not to go after the toreador, but to stick with Rodrigo. Valeria isn't interested - there's something wrong with his character - even when they were kids he was pulling the wings off flies and throwing lizards into the fire. Veronica, listening and sort of sticking herself and stroking her palm with a huge sharp knife, says it sounds like Rodrigo needs a shrink.

  • Jacinta told Maite on the phone that if she tried to contact Valeria, Valeria would be told "the truth" about Maite. "All that matters is Valeria's happiness," Maite muses.

  • Valeria made a delicious meal, and the heavy-handed script has Veronica exclaim: "Why you could be my mother's (Maite's) daughter, you are so good in the kitchen." "Yes, she has always liked to cook." Later: "This sort of thing is inherited." Jeesh.

  • The girls decide to go to the cemetery to put flowers on Valeria's father Adolfo's grave. Federico insists on accompanying them. In front of Adolfo's tomb, the heavy-handed script has Veronica (also Adolfo's daughter) get all sad, ... "I don't know why." Also, Federico, while flashing back to murdering Adolfo, says he's getting all emotional because Adolfo was like a brother to him.

  • Daniel tells Andres he likes Juanita. Juanita tells Valeria she likes Daniel; she also passes on Andre's message about the wine-tasting.

  • Some padre is sucking up to Jacinta and gets her to agree to go to the big fancy international Maldonado Brothers international, did I mention it was international?, wine-tasting that night. With the ultimate aim of getting her to put money into the expansion of winemaking in Mexico.

  • The girls ask Jacinta if they can go to the fair. She says of course not (after criticizing Valeria's scanty blouse), but they have to go to the fancy international wine-tasting. Since that's what they wanted to do anyway, they are happy, which makes Jacinta suspicious.

  • El Gordo and Andres talk their way in the back entrance to the bullfight and for several blissful minutes nobody says anything.

  • Another customer flirts with Maite, and leaves his book of poetry. She is reading it aloud, later, when he comes back for it. She kind of likes him.

  • Well, look who's at the wine-tasting, it's Unibrow, Nutria, and El Gordo, and Daniel and Andres! At another table, Manola, her cuckolded husband Zamora, and her mother. At another table, Jacinta, Federico, the girls, and Rodrigo (discreetly drooling down Valeria's back). Andres sees the drool and goes off to sulk. Valeria sees Andres leave and wants to go after him, but Jacinta says "everybody has to stay seated." How bossy can you get?

  • A suave honcho of the international wine-tasting, Jose Maldonado, comes up to Manola, her mom and her dad (who finally arrived). It turns out he is "the" Jose who fell in love with Eloisa, left her pregnant with Maite, and "never came looking for her." He is stunned to hear Eloisa is dead and staggers off. All agree that after his dastardly behavior he does not deserve to know he has a daughter.

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  • Monday's recap delayed but coming...

    Hi,

    I fell asleep watching Barrera last night. Luckily I taped it. I'll watch and recap later today. Univision, save us! Send us something worth watching!

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    Saturday, May 20, 2006

    Barrera - May 19

    Barrera, 19 May

    [I saw the hamburger!] Andres makes his bullfighting debut against what appeared to be a mangy calf with no horns but I guess that is a training bull. Anyway, there were lots of “Ole’s.” Valeria watched dreamily, Veronica turned into Vera and watched seductively and Jacinta wants to know who this kid is.

    Maite meets Victor’s high school buddy, Pancho. He inherited a fruit and vegetable business. “Are you a couple?” he asked Maite & Victor. “No,” she says.

    At the post bullfighting gathering, everyone congratulates Andres except for Jacinta who refuses to shake his hand, suggests that he crashed the party and points out that one mangy calf does not a great bullfighter make.

    Back at Victor’s restaurant, Victor indicates that he would like Maite to be more than a friend even though he knows that she will love Unibrow forever. She is not interested, however.

    The slimy Rodrigo tells Remedios that he has a thing for Valeria and is upset that she is not reciprocating. Remedios seems a little surprised when Rodrigo says that sooner or later he will make Valeria, “entrar en cintura”, or “make her submit to him,” a rather un-lover like sentiment.

    Maite regrets never having told Veronica about her daughter, Valeria. Victor points out that in the first years after Magdalena died, Veronica was very unstable, didn’t have any friends and only played with her dolls – Vera and Violeta. But with love and understanding, she got better. “There will be an appropriate time for you to tell Veronica about your daughter,” says Victor.

    Andres’ performance in the ring (or whatever they call where you do a bullfight) has convinced Don Marco of his talent. He gives Andres his card that will get him into another bullfight on Sunday. Andres is very grateful and swears that he won’t disappoint Don Marcos. He declines an invitation to Jacinta’s party. He needs to find his family.

    Valeria refuses a drink from Rodrigo at Jacinta’s reception and Jacinta chews her out for being rude. Grudgingly, she takes the drink. We hear the Veronica-personality-changing music and Vera appears.

    Manola doesn’t like the way Federico is treating Rodrigo. She thinks someone might guess that Rodrigo is Federico’s child. Federico says that they are just acting like friends and oh by the way, your cowboy hat and boots turn me on. They appear to be about to do it in the bushes when Gustavo appears and wants to know what they are talking about in this secluded place…

    Having escaped from the party, Valeria tells her two friends that she is glad to be free of Rodrigo. Vera-nica says that it was strange that Andres left the post-bullfight gathering without saying goodbye to anyone. Juanita says that it was a good thing because Dona Jacinta is never going to approve of an apprentice-bullfighter as a boyfriend for her granddaughter. Valeria looks pained.

    Manola and Federico once again convine gullible old Gustavo that there is nothing between them [how many times does he have to catch them together before the “we’re just old friends” doesn’t work anymore?] Gustavo gets a phone call from Unibrow. They arrange to meet the next evening at some wine event.

    Jose and his sister and the other guy are in Aguascalientes for the fair. It is the first time the sister has been in the city and we get some tourist information. Jose has a flashback to when he met Eloisa. He says that he needed to come to Aguascalientes to confront his past.

    Unibrow, Nutria & Daniel are in a restaurant and Andres comes in. He is very happy and he lets them believe this is only because he reconnected with his girlfriend.

    More tourist stuff about the chuch in Aguascalientes.

    Now it comes out that what Juanita said about Andres not being good enough for Valeria was a cunning plan on Juanita’s part to lull the suspicions of Jacinta and Veronica, who Juanita does not trust.[Those ‘indigenas’ can be very clever.] “No one should know about you and Andres,” says Juanita, “or they will put a big pile of stones in the road. (Te van a echar un monton de piedritas en el camino.) We would say, ‘put roadblocks in your way,’ I guess. Valeria nods but you know she doesn’t really get it.

    Jacinta tells Remedios that she can’t believe that Valeria is attracted to that boy. “He’s young and handsome and she’s just a young girl,” suggest Remedios but Jacinta isn’t having any. She shouldn’t forget that the blood of “that woman” runs in Valeria’s veins along with the great Valladolid blood so who knows what she might do. “I won’t let Valeria be like her mother,” says Jacinta, “to prevent that, I’ll break (domar) her.” Remedios is shocked that she would refer to her granddaughter like an animal. “Very often, people act like animals,” responds Jacinta. “They let their carnal desires rule and they have to be treated like animals in that condition.” From now on she will keep a close eye on Valeria and the bullfighter is not permitted to enter the house.

    Andres tells El Gordo about his initial success as a “torero” but he is upset that he had to leave the reception without saying goodbye to Valeria. El Gordo says that women don’t like to be neglected so he had better fix that.

    Maite wanders around her apartment consumed with anxiety about what is happening at the hacienda. [This is the second time I have noticed that outside her window there is a thunderstorm behind the big domed building. Presumably, this was shot in a studio and they just project that outside the window.]

    Valeria is outside dreaming of Andres and wondering why he left her without saying goodbye. As if summoned by her thoughts, Andres appears. He explains that he couldn’t let the day end without explaining to her why he left the reception so suddenly. She warns him that it is dangerous to be at her house. They kiss. Andres says that although he has only just met Valeria, he knows that he will love her forever. Valeria urges him to leave before her grandmother catches him there.

    Maite decides to call the hacienda. Remedios answers the phone but Jacinta picks up the extension. Maite asks about Valeria and Jacinta breaks in saying, “How dare you call my house!” She warns her never to call again saying that she has only told Valeria that her mother left their home but if Maite persists in trying to contact her, Jacinta will tell her the ‘truth’ about her mother and the only person that will harm is Valeria. Jacinta summons Remedios and accuses her of telling Maite that Valeria was here on vacation since how would she have known otherwise? Remedios denies it, of course and Jacinta makes the same threat to tell all to Valeria if Maite continues to try and contact her.

    At dinner, Unibrow looks at Nutria and sees Maite. Once again, she says, “What’s wrong, honey? Are you worried about Andres?” [Maybe Unibrow shouldn’t have married someone who looks like Maite. This seems to be turning into a serious psychological problem.]

    The 3-V’s have a chat at the mirror. Violeta says that Vera shouldn’t not try to hurt Valeria by taking Andres for herself. Vera says that she doesn’t care about Valeria and she is going to win out over the other personalities. She goes to bed fully clothed and wearing lipstick, saying that she will get Andres and Rodrigo and maybe Federico too but first Andres.

    Victor brings Maite coffee in the morning and she says that she couldn’t sleep all night. Victor says, “Whatever made you decide to call the Valladolid hacienda?” Maite now thinks that she should make up some excuse and have Veronica come home. Victor says, “Why do you want to have her give up her vacation?” Then Maite says that she feels guilty that she and Veronica have prevented Victor from having his own life. He says that it was his choice.

    Veronica wakes up and wonders why she went to bed in her clothes. She doesn’t understand why she is wearing lipstick either. [Evidently, Vera & Violeta are aware of each other but Veronica doesn’t know about them.]

    Making breakfast, Valeria tells Juanita that Andres was at the hacienda the previous night. He loves her. She loves him and they kissed. Juanita advises her to proceed carefully since her grandmother is accustomed to getting her way in things.

    Andres is in the bullfighting museum dreaming about his future.

    Nicolas and Federico present some investment opportunity to Jacinta. They says it is as safe as putting the money in a bank [so you know that very soon all the money will be lost]. Jacinta is distracted with worry about Valeria and the upstart torero. In his bootlicking way, Federico says that he will watch out for Valeria but Nicolas says that Rodrigo will keep and eye on her. Rodrigo is attracted to Valeria already and wouldn’t it be wonderful if they married and brought the families together. [I guess Rodrigo and Valeria are second cousins, they share a grandfather – Pedro.] After Jacinta leaves, Federico says how much he would like Rodrigo to marry into a good family like the Valladolids. Nicolas says that Rodrigo comes from a pretty good family himself: Linares and Zamora (Gustavo’s family). Federico says, “Rodrigo is Linares for sure but Zamora…” He chuckles nastily. Nicolas warns him against saying anything. Dona Jacinta wouldn’t like knowing that Federico was fooling around with Manola when she was engaged to Adolfo.

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