Caray, Caray!

Yes folks, we've reached the penultimo of the ultimos capitulos, and things are getting real.

The curtains rise on Tomas fruitlessly searching Violeta's place for the poison, but finding only a safe full of wadded-up and crumpled bills. Bitter words fly between the two.

Meanwhile, Pancho is busily turning the other cheek and attempting to offer his assistance to a be-frazzled Vins. His outfit is rumpled, he needs a shave, and he's pounding down his "mi whiskis" like there's no tomorrow. Pancho chides the man for hiding in alcohol, and Vins, who looks like a total train-wreck, protests that this way he still retains a shred of dignity. Sorry bro, that ship has sailed. As if *trying* to separate himself from that last shard of dignity, Vins goes on to blame everything that has gone wrong since the novela started on Fernanda and Pancho. If *he'd* been president, he would still be happily married to Pina (as if), and everything would've been just peachy. Pancho says there's still time to change. Vins smashes his whiski glass in anger (the first of several, this episode), Pancho exits, and Vins wonders aloud whether Pancho had a point.

Pina is gushing to Arnie about all the luscious foreign fabrics that she will include in her wedding (it's like nobody, not even the writers, believes he's straight) when Raymondo appears, begging a word with his beloved Mr. Flowers. He admits to giving Arnold all those gifts and kisses him on the cheek. Arnie looks shocked, and that's all we get on this subplot for today. My mom made a good point, that usually the last day of a novela has lots of weddings, but most of the characters are married already. Maybe Arnie and Raymondo will tie the knot tomorrow and beef up the wedding count...

Monica and Pepe go to Chela and Rebe, respectively. Both are spilling the beans about Moni's pregnancy, but Monica is teary-eyed and Pepe is ecstatic! Apparently, Monica is thinking about an abortion, and both conversations revolve around this reality. Both women are holding babies, which I thought was a funny counterpoint to the abortion discussion. Rebe says that Pepe shouldn't tell his girl what to do, but rather support her in everything.

Pancho takes his Vins worries to Pancho, and she is rather horrified to hear that her ex would rather die than see her marry Sebastian.

Fred and Ana are enjoying their honeymoon (I guess they got over that whole I-only-got-close-to-you-to-find-evidence-your-dad-is-a-criminal thing pretty quickly), but Pancho calls to tell Fred what bad shape Vice is in and ask him to come back and talk to him. Then Pancho goes to the convent to see if he can talk Candi out of the whole nun thing (Candi: "I had to come here to get peace and think and relax and sort out my life." Pancho: "couldn't you do that in Hawaii?"). Failing that, he tells her what bad shape her ex is in and begs her to come try to redeem him somehow. She gets permission to leave the convent to go help the family (Sister superior is kind of funny - "so.... you will leave the nunnery to go to the guy who made you so miserable you came here? really?"). Fred tries to get his Dad (who is muttering about the Lopez and their "labyrinth of mediocrity") to at least stop drinking and let him help. Vins is spiteful and tells him he *was* his father but no longer. Fred doesn't give up, works up some tears, and tells vins that he used to be his idol. We'll fight together, pops. They are going to go to rehab in the morning, I think. Most of the Lopez kids come up to gawp at Monica and cheer about the baby on the way (she decided against the abortion). I see that Temo has FINALLY combed his hair. Enzo gets a little wacko/manic when he hears about the baby. Maybe he's getting crazier because Chela won't sleep with him. Meanwhile (sorry for the repetition, but what better word is there for a novela transition?), Violeta's evil-voice-in-her-head is getting a little more insistent, and it congratulates her for her plan to hurt Tomas' wife. For his part, Tomas is with the cops and the body of Violeta's latest victim, who I think is the hapless dude who told crazy Amazon barbie where to find Lupita. Then there is a really weird scene with Chacho, who appears to have won a blue car. Pancho is happy for him, there's some awkwardness about witnesses and signing for the car, and then Chacho honks and drives off into the sunset. Talk about random, yeah?

Pancho drops Lupita off at la guarderia, but sees Violeta going after her. Pancho leaps into action, running out and sending everyone away so he can have a little confrontation with crazy-babe. For her part, she struggles with her inner eviler-self (who wants to kill Pancho) and satisfies herself with merely threatening him and storming off. Tomas shows up with some cops to console Lupita. They kiss, and Pancho covers his eyes.

The next morning, Vins sees Pina's engagement announcement in the paper, smashes another whiski glass, and sets off to do something bad.

Pina borrows Sebastian's Avon car for her ride home (I wonder if a manly-man like Sebastian was embarrassed about driving a car with a huge cosmetics logo on the hood?). Thinking it's Sebastian in the car, an already-drunk Vins gives chase! Neither of them is driving particularly safely; she's texting and he's smashed. He rams her off the road and her car tumbles down the hill, lands upside-down, and bursts into flames (well, a little bit of flames)!!!!!

Pina survives (and even crawls out of the car), but she's a mess. The makeup team did a doozy of a job here, with blood all over her face and goozing out of her mouth. There's a quick cut to Vins' car at the top of the hill, and then Pina's car *really* explodes. There's some needless suspense here drawn out over a commercial break, but what happened is that Vins realized what he'd done, dragged her clear of the wreck (I laughed when he saw her, oozing blood and battered, and asked "are you ok?"), bawled over her for a bit, and then called the ambulance.

Fred and Candi both arrive at Vins' house to save him from himself (on Pancho's urging), to find it empty. They see the shattered glass and the newspaper open to the engagement page and rush off to get Pancho. They all pile into La Burra and head off in search of Pina. They find a morose Vins and yell at him. Fred is the maddest, but Vins just tells him he's not worth the waste of his son's time. Fred tells his Dad that he will never ever ever forgive him for this. The gang (except Vins) head off for some more hospital scenes.

Pina is clearly getting tired of people asking her if she's ok. When Ana asks, Pina says sarcastically "supers bien." Glad she kept her sense of humor.

At his place, Pepe finds a mysterious note from Moni, explaining that she's left to do something important for her family. In fact, she has gone to barbie's den, to tell her to leave everyone alone. It's funny, because Monica doesn't even come up to her Amazon mom's shoulder. She doesn't have much luck with the "please leave me alone" gambit, and her mom just says that she's sick of all those nacos, so Monica pulls the pregnancy card. She doesn't get good results. Violeta tells her she should abort it, just like Violeta had tried to do to Monica. "I didn't want you, and I don't want a grandson." But Monica doesn't lose it until her mom insults Enzo. Then she slaps her mom, who seems to smack her with a wine glass. Great chat, mom! Pancho and Enzo arrive and are, in turn, insulted: "vulgarcitos." Monica lets them know that Violeta has already admitted to two murders. Pancho: "who else?" After they leave, her evil voice says "they'll all die." Does she even have enough poison?

One of the gags of this episode is that, whenever someone sees Candi in a habit, they freak out and ask REALLY? Ana now tries to talk her aunt out of it, to no avail.

Pina, on her hospital bed, admits to Fred that she has some regrets. She tells her son how proud she is of him for staying strong even when he disagreed with her (like with Ana, and when he sticks up for his dad).

Speaking of the man who put the VICE in Vicente, he's in baaaad shape. He's swilling cheap tequila and swerving back and forth in his Mercedes. He stops the car in the middle of the door, exits, and stumbles to a halt in some random neighborhood. He slumps against a concrete wall and starts shivering. A dog trots up and--get this--he hugs it! Some dude walking by sees the drunk hugging a dog and drops a coin by Vins' feet. Pathetic.

At the hospital, Pina is back on her feet. She sure has bounced back fast, given how recently she was oozing pints of blood out of her mouth alone. Pancho: You look great... ready for the triathlon? Pina: more like a bubble bath.

Tomas, on the line with interpol, has discovered that the poison is - duh duh DUH!- French. His counterparts across the pond will begin searching for the person who made it.

Meanwhile (there it is again), Violeta is scheming. She delivers the final words of the episode: Tonight will be *unforgettable*!

Labels: familia

“Hola Chula” says Antonio upon answering Camila's call. Already I can't stand where this is going so I end up counting the comb marks in his brylcreamed hair. Camila promises to marry him.  He tells her “Congratulations”, then to himself “I told you that you would be mine”.

Labels: Talisman

Labels: familia

Today on El Talsiman:

Cameela has come to El Alcatrash to tell the Beltbuckle she isn't marrying him, punto. Beltbuckle continues with the threat of sending her Gasbag, er her Mama to the carcel. She tells the Beltbuckle to go ahead and call the popos she will just have to make a call on her own and tell them about his blackmail and threats, so there take that, ya Beltbuckle! She leaves the Beltbuckle fuming, and runs into Doris. So are ya marrying the Beltbuckle or not, she asks Cameela. Cameela tells her hey sister, ain't doin' it no how, no way. She tells Doris I am marrying Mi Pedro. She tells Doris don't worry you will still be the duenna of this casa. Cameela leaves.

Pedro is thought bubbling about his wedding to Cameela and their song plays, "Dios Mio Que Mujer".

Gabe and Sarita are talking about the same old, same old. I want to marry but can't, not prepared for it, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Sarita is getting madder by the minute, and Gabe is all talked out. Sarita is yelling at Gabe and interrupts Pedro's daydreaming. He goes in to see what the fuss is about. Sarita is saying the same old thing. She tells Pedro, Gabe won't talk to her, and Pedro tells her Gabe is very confused right now. (Note to Gabe: just tell her the same thing you've been telling her, maybe she will open her ears long enough to hear, jus' sayin'). Gabe took my advice, but it didn't work yet again. He threatens to get a job elsewhere. Sarita is so not down with that. Pedro tells her to stop pressuring Gabe. Gabe tells Sarita he truly loves her, but he isn't ready for marriage. Gabe leaves. Pedro tells Sarita, he's not marrying Cameela either. He doesn't understand, and told Mariana about it. Sarita and Pedro commiserate with each other.

Tonio is looking for Valentin. Valentin finally comes in and the Beltbuckle sends him on a misson. I didn't quite get what it was, so someone please fill in.

Tracy and Alberta are talking about Fabi leaving today. They are having a little chisme when Alberta lets slip that Cameela ain't marrying the Beltbuckle. Tracy is like, ya don't say. I have to talk to her.

Margarito and the Padre are talking about Cameela's about face, and not marrying Pedro.

Army has managed to scale the walls, so to speak, of Alcatrash again. He has come to tell Fabi adios. He tells her this is only temporary. He is finding a job, and once he has enough dinero, he will come to Canada to be with her. They swear undying love for each other, and promise each other they will be together soon.

Maria and the Gasbag, er, El Viral have come home. Maria wanted to bring El Viral back to the apartmento to get the full story why she is soooo upset. Maria tells her to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (Note to Maria: When has that ever happened?).El Viral says it is a disaster. Maria tells her to be calm (yeah like that is ever gonna happen) and asks if this is about the kids? El Viral tells her it is about Pigorio. She tells Maria she helped Tonio try to kill Pigorio and now she is in the heap of pig droppings. Maria is shocked, I tell you shocked, to hear this. She tells Maria that unless Cameela marries Tonio she is going to the carcel! (Note to Maria: Please lock her up in the manicomio now. Don't wait, she is the Titanic crashing into the iceberg right now. There is no redemption for her.). She tells Maria that, wait for it, THE BELTBUCKLE MADE ME DO IT!!!! (Note to the Gasbag: Is this the same thing as the Devil made me do it? Cause ya know that excuse never works, jus' sayin'). Just about this time, Cameela has come back from that meeting with the Beltbuckle, and tells her Gasbag of a mama, guess what, not marrying that asshat. Cameela tells the Gasbag she will find her a lawyer tomorrow, and take it from there. (Note to Cameela: You got some guts girl, cause that gas is building, jus' sayin', and the headband is getting tighter by the millisecond). Maria tells her Gasbag of a sister to, wait for it, WOMAN up and accept responsiblity for your OWN actions!!!! (Note to Maria: You go!!! But I don't think that is working for her). The Gasbag tries to turn this on Cameela and tells her, I am going to the carcel and it's YOUR fault. Maria and Cameela are looking at her like she should have been in the Manicomio a long time ago. And on top of all her other sins, tells Cameela, well ya know, I already told Pedro you are marrying Tonio. Cameela and Maria are pithed. The Gasbag is thrusting the knife deeper and tells Cameela, that if she marries the Beltbuckle all this goes away, as if. Cameela is so not down with that. Maria says you have no conscience as far as your children go, enough already. Course the Gasbag's brain is full of gas and she storms out of the room. Army comes in and asks Cameela if she is ok? Cameela tells him Tonio threatened to go to the policia about the Gasbag. Maria tells Cameela, well she is an accomplice after all, get her a good lawyer, and above all please, call Pedro, the amor di tu vida, and explain just what the heck is going on. Cameela calls Pedro for a meet. He is confused, but will meet with her. Maria is going to work, and tells Cameela if you need anything call me. Cameela tells the Gasbag that she has called a lawyer that will meet with her in two hours.

Fake Doc/Major Domo examines Pigorio and tells him he is just fine! Well Pigorio, who is lying in the bed, isn't taking this lying down, so to speak. He tells the fake doc, then why am I feeling worse everyday? He tells fake doc he is not beleiving his so-called miraculous recovery. He asks fake doc/major domo if he has talked to Tonio. Of course he has. Pigorio then tells him, I don't like you, I want MIO DOCTOROCITO Valdez, and not you. Fake doc/major domo looks like he has swallowed several avacadoes whole, and tells Pigorio to be calm, don't upset yourself. He leaves. Doris confronts fake doc/major domo and asks how Pigorio is? He tells her he is fine. Doris doesn't beleive fake doc/major domo either. Tonio talks to the fake doc/major domo and isn't liking what he is hearing.

Lulu and the Beltbuckle are in the cabana, and Tonio tells her all about what Cameela said about going to the popos on her own and telling them what she knows of the Beltbuckle. But he tells Lulu that his planes are still at the go stage and Cameela es Mio. He tells Lulu he is siccing the police on El Viral as we speak, and that's why Cameela es Mio. Lulu laments to the Beltbuckle that this is a bad time for her to be dead. (Ya think). He keeps telling Lulu that she will have to remain dead for awhile, but he won't let her down. She'll get Pedro es Mio as soon as things settle down. She tells the Beltbuckle, Pedro is my ultimate goal. He tells her Fabi is leaving. She can't beleive it, she isn't down with that.

Fabi is packing for her trip to Canada and Doris comes in. She tells her Mama Doris that she will be better off in Canada and away from Alcatrash.

Padre, Margarito, and Pedro are together and Pedro tells them Cameela called him. He has no idea why she wants to talk to him.

There is a knock on the door and it is, wait for it, the police looking for, you guessed it, The Gasbag. They have some questions for her. Meanwhile the Gasbag has hotfooted it into the boys' room. (I guess she has no avacadoes. Her hideous pink outfit is so bright with matching headband, the police couldn't miss her, jus' sayin'). The police tell Cameela that this is very serious and they need to talk to her right away. Cameela is rolling her eyes. Meanwhile the Gasbag has run into the boys' room, and wait for it, does a slow *marmot screech* about the popos have come for her. Meanwhile at the door, Cameela tells the police that her Mama is meeting a lawyer, in like, two hours if they want to wait. And in the boys' room, the Gasbag, THAR SHE BLOWS AGAIN, for like the millionth time. She claims, wait for it, SHE WANTS TO DIE, Army and Angel are both there, trying to calm her down. She is hyperventilating and hysterical. They tell her to stop crying and that Cameela will get her a lawyer. Army decides to go join Cameela, which leaves poor Angel to cope with El Viral (Note to Angel: You are truly an Angel to put up with this crap, just fix her a huge mug of sleepytime tea and you'll finally have some peace). Meanwhile Army goes out to see what is going on, gets the scoop and rolls his eyes too. (Did you notice one of the policeman was rolling his eyes too? It was too funny). El Viral is still ranting and raving to Angel that her new home will be the CARCEL (yeah, if only. She needs to go there ASAP). And on top of that she is crying hysterically. Angel looks like he wants to hurl. The police meanwhile are still trying to convince Cameela they need to talk to the Gasbag and here is the paperwork by the way. They leave and Cameela tells Army that the Beltbuckle called the cops on mama. Cameela tells Army well I guess I will have to marry the Beltbuckle after all, to stop this crazy train. Army begs her not too. So without waiting any further, she picks up the phone and , wait for it, calls the Beltbuckle. She tells him I know you sicced the police on my sainted (just kidding) mama and are you ready for it, ya sure???? Ok, on the count of three, She will marry his asshattedness. Oh, saints perserve us, please, Oh Dios Mio, not again.



Tracy, Alberta and Fabi have gathered together to say goodbye. Fabi tells both of them she will miss them, and to please look after Flor. All three are crying and they have a big group hug. After this, Fabi goes to her room and talks to Flor. Flor is crying. She doesn't want Fabi to go, but Fabi tells her it is best and that Tracy and Alberta will always be there for her. Fabi and Flor both agree they don't want to be seperated, but this is how it is now. Flor accompanies Fabi to the foyer, and there is the Beltbuckle. They give him heck about being seperated and all he cares about is Cameela. He tells them he cares about them, but they know it is empty words. (Note to Beltbuckle: you are an asshat of the lowest grade, to give up your daughter for a woman that hates your guts, jus' sayin').

Mariana has come to El Tal and is talking to Margarito. Mariana says she wants to talk to Cameela on Pedro's behalf to find out what is going on with this Beltbuckle business. Margarito asks if she has any memory back yet? Mariana tells Margo that Manuel is trying to help her find her past, but so far she really hasn't remembered anything .

Pigorio is up out of the bed and is dressed, looking more chipper and healthier. Doris compliments him on his looks. They are talking about his pills. I think Pigorio said he has stopped taking them and is going to see his own doctor. ( I just have to say here, Pigorio is smarter than we thought. I think he knows those pills are poisoned). Doris informs Pigorio that Fabi is leaving for Canada, and Pigorio says well the Beltbuckle knows best, he loves his daughters. Doris doesn't agree. She doesn't want Fabi to go. Pigorio tells her Fabi is her daughter too. He said something else to her I didn't get. He leaves.

Padre and Pedro go to see Liliana the social worker about Santiago again. She tells Pedro, sorry not gonna happen, can't adopt him. Padre tells her that he is getting some kind of letter from Santi's mama in Mexico. She is skeptical, but says ok. But Pedro still can't adopt him. She tells Padre he has character.

Now for the best part of the recap. We have Rita and fake doc/major domo talking together. Rita wants to know what he has been up to? He tells Rita he is doing a job for the Beltbuckle. Oh, Rita is swooning, she just lurvvvves the Beltbuckle. Rennie comes in the room and tells Rita that the Beltbuckle is muy peligroso. Fake doc/major domo tells Rennie that the Beltbuckle has taken El Viral in hand. Rennie is like say what? Rita and Rennie want the chisme like yesterday. So fake doc/major domo tells them that, wait for it, El Viral is a killer! Rennie can't beleive it, but Rita is sooo down with that. Fake doc/ major domo tells them that is what Tonio told him. Rennie's wheels in his brains start turning and he says so, just a better grounds for divorce. (Yeah ok Rennie, you go with that, until the anvil comes to bite you too).

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Pedro confronts Cameela and Tonio at Alcatrash!

Labels: Talisman

Alternate Titles:
I did a little combining of scenes to avoid a long list of bullets. I hope it's not too confusing.

• Fina's dear fiend [sic] Begonia tells some stupid story about the day Assgusto dragged Elisa to the health center. According to Be Gone Ya, Doc came home depressed/down (apesadumbrado-sad;glum) that day because Elisa had begged Doc Whipped to tell her dad she was a virgin and together they hid the fact that Elisa was sleeping around. Fina even suggests that Elisa was running around with Gael. Dam declares he doesn't have time for their cheap gossip and leaves. After he's gone Fina declares that though he might not have fallen for the story, the seeds of doubt have been sown. Hags. 
• Carmina visits Paolo in a  ridiculous disguise. They talk about Paolo now having to marry Elisa. He's not to keen on the idea. Carmina says it's important that Damian believe the bunk and that Elisa is lying to him. Later they get slobbery and smoochy. I swear Carmina sucked on his knees. After they do the deed they yammer. Paolo, poor sap, he really sounds sincere as he declares his love for Carmina. Carmina claims Assgusto is the love of her life and kindly asks Paolo not to mention him again. Sometimes Paolo thinks hurting Elisa is more important to Carmina than their relationship (Paolo and Carmina). Ya think? He wonders what she thought of the letter. They get slobbery and loud smoochy again.
• Dam goes to look for Elisa and finds out she's looking for Gael. He goes to look for her. Meanwhile, Elisa talks with Gael. He's leaving 'cause he doesn't want to see her and Dam together. Elisa says his departure will hurt her and hurt Paloma even more. Gael is sure Paloma will find the right guy. Before he leaves he wants to kiss the woman he loves. GRAB! SMOOCH! (weird music reminiscent of the Exorcist? QTH?) Of course, Dam walks in and he.is.pithed. He yells at Elisa. Dam doesn't know what to think. There are rumors all over town and she should clear things up for him. She goes OFF on the both of them. She tells Dam he can think whatever the heck he wants about her, the simple fact that he doubts her means she doesn't want to see him anymore. Then she tells Gael it's a good thing he's leaving 'cause she doesn't want to see him again either. After she leaves the boys manhandle each other until Padre Lupe reminds them they are in a house of God. Gael runs out after Elisa. Gael lines, Elisa lines. She's mad at him for kissing her. She was a fool for thinking Dam loved her. She doesn't trust Dam or Gael. She doesn't trust anyone. She goes home and...you know CRIES because everyone believes the worst of her and now Damian, too! 
• Padre Lupe tries to explain to Dam that Elisa is a good girl. Lupe is not pleased that Dam has so little faith in Elisa and believes whatever anyone tells him...including Fina (maledicencia=gossip.) It seems mom is winning the battle and Padre says Dam doesn't DESERVE Elisa's love. Dam says he is dying of jealousy thinking she may have been with other men. What.a.twit. Gael comes and tries to explain, too...but Dam is too stubborn to listen. Dam goes home and tells mom she's trying to poison him against Elisa.
• Ingrid tells Kenia not to gab to Gab about Gael. Kenia tells her to give her the check back. Ingrid says no. A struggle ensues. When Kenia tries to leave (after telling Mommy Dearest she would rather have been an orphan) Ingrid whacks her on the head with a heavy statuette. Gab and Ingrid panic over Kenia's prostrate body. (turulato-a=stunned; dazed) Gab asks what kind of mother is she. He knows what kind of mother she is...the kind to abandon a child she had with Rosendo Arango. Gab is going to be there when Kenia awakes and will ask her who Ingrid's son is.  Gab carries Kenia to the health center/hospital and leaves her on a bench. He goes to look for a nurse and when he returns Kenia is gone (she made her escape and is running through the town plaza.) Gab goes back to the blue house and tells Ingrid Kenia escaped.
• Doc Whipped and Assgusto share a few shots at the cantina. Main points: Assgusto confesses he's been obsessing over another woman. Doc W tells Assgusto he's paying the price for marrying "por despecho" (for spite.) Assgusto whines about not being able to betray Carmina and making her miserable. More whining about not being able to control Elisa. Doc W tells him he hasn't paid attention to Elisa since Steffie died, but it's not too late to fix his relationship with his daughter. Guess who Assgusto runs into on his way home from the cantina...yup: Kenia. She asks for help and promptly faints. He catches her and his hand comes away stained with blood. (An aside: do drunk driving laws count when you are on a horse?)
• At Hacienda Arango, Dam flashes back: Elisa's near rape, his convo with Tonia about who called the house, his beat down of Enrique, Gael kissing Elisa. Meanwhile, at Casa Castañon,  Elisa flashes back to the first time she saw adult Dam; their kiss in the stables; their kiss in the foyer; and Dam telling her that together they can face anything. She tells herself it was all a lie.
• Padre is mad at Gael for kissing Elisa and causing problems with her and Dam. Gael thinks that if Dam's love were so great, he wouldn't believe the gossip over Elisa. Padre tells Gael the he made Dam doubt. Padre thinks Gael was purposely trying to cause problems; Gael denies it. Padre thinks Gael owes it to Dam and Elisa to fix things. Padre also tells Gael he can't leave without solving the issue with his mom. Padre thinks he should ask Gabino. Gael says he knows someone else he can ask.
• Assgusto took Kenia home. Kenia tells Assgusto she went for a walk and got hit and started running. Oh thank the heavens. Kenia tells Assgusto not to let Elisa marry Paolo. Then she asks him not to leave and turns on the puppy dog eyes. He will stay in the living room.
• Lola catches Nem-ho sneaking in after her tryst. Hee hee. Lola informs the Orange Tart that she's lucky she won't have to explain her late arrival. Assgusto isn't home yet either. Lola kicks ass and takes names. She tells Nem-ho she isn't afraid of her and she'll stay out of Carmina's bidnez if Carmina stays out of Elisa's bidnez.
• Dam forces Paolo to admit that nothing happened between he and Elisa. Dam threatens to put Paolo in jail for attempted rape. 
• Assgusto tucks in a sleeping Kenia. Carmina waits for her wayward husband. 
• Lola wakes Elisa up. She's going to spoil and pamper her (apapachar=to pamper) and make papadzules (all hail Cap'n Sylvia for figuring this out for me.) Lola fusses at Elisa for crying into her pillow all night. She wants the girl to get up and stop wallowing. Dam doesn't deserve her. Cheat-ho barges in and says Assgusto did not spend the night at home. (He's with Kenia getting coffee and trying to convince her to go to the health center. A request she refuses.)
• Padre continues to nag Gael about making up with Damian. Gael refuses to because he thinks Dam should trust more in Elisa. Padre thinks Gael should at least apologize to Elisa. Subject changes to Ingrid. Gael spills the "Kenia is her daughter beans."

Labels: abismo

Part One: The Bachelorette, Toluca Edition

Scenes consolidated for narrative convenience.

Ana awaits the two finalists in this year's tiresome edition of "The Bachelorette: Toluca." Lupita, our host, explains that she told each of the guys to give it their best shot because it never, ever occurs to anyone on these shows to say "Hey, this is making me miserable, I think rather than honor some arbitrary and imaginary deadline I just won't pick anyone for now."

Fred and Adrián have a calm conversation outside with no punching. No new information. They agree to let Ana decide.

Fred will go first. Chucha excitedly announces his arrival. (Ana fusses over her appearance, which strikes me funny. I think she should frump herself up as much as possible and see how they react. Fred already loved her when she was still in dungarees. Adrián didn't meet her till later. But anyway.) Fred accepts her reason for deceiving him to get her dad out of jail. He reviews all the ways in which he's changed. He loves her and he's ready to be with her for the rest of his life and have a family with her. He leaves the house looking uncertain, and with no rose. Next!

Adrián opens with "How'd it go with Fred?" BZZZZZT FAIL!! Ana asks if that's what he wants to talk about. No, he wants to talk about how great she is and how much better his life is with her in it. He loves her and he's ready to be with her for the rest of his life and have kids with her. He leaves the house looking pleased with himself, but with no rose.

Ana agonizes over her choice with Lupita. Yawn. Lupita is the most incredible trouper. I would have told Ana to find a new rehash buddy a long time ago.

Vice is feeling sorry for himself. Enzo wants him to get his head out of the oven. He tries to get Vice to stop drinking. Vice is stubborn. He blurts that Violeta is a killer. Then he backpedals and says no, she didn't kill, it's just that she's crazy and she could kill. Enzo wants to know WHO could she kill? "That's not the problem," Vice protests, and changes the subject. The problem is that he's alone and his life is a disaster. Enzo tells him he's not alone; Vice kicks him out and continues drinking.

Enzo goes home to Chela. She doesn't want to hear about Vice. She worries about his health. He nicely asks her to stop acting like she's his mom.

Enzo meets with Fred to tell him about his talk with Vice, killer comments and all. Vice said Fred was the only light in his life; maybe Fred can help.

So Fred goes to Vice and says he's worried and that Vice shouldn't drink so much. Vice says he's fine and Violeta isn't a killer, she's just loca. He tells Fred he's divorcing Candy because of Violeta. He can't ever seem to have just one woman in his life. He needs the adrenaline of a fling. Honestly, he loved Candy, but he's never loved anyone as much as he loved Pina. And why'd he leave her? Because he's an imbécil. Fred asks if he wants Pina back.

Pina is whisked away by Sebastián on a magical mystery tour to the countryside. He asks if she's afraid of heights. She's getting antsy about all the secrecy.

There's a hot air balloon that says "PINA TE AMO" on the side. Hmmm, whatever could be happening? She's nervous about going up, but the scenery is beautiful. Seb has thought of everything: music, champagne, and a nice sparkly ring. Yes, this is what he's been hiding from her. CAREFUL DON'T DROP THE RING!! She's amused that everyone else was in on the secret. YES to Sebastián's proposal, and let's get down from here NOW!!

As they're arriving home, she tells him the whole scheme was way more than necessary. Ado asks some coy questions. Pina pretends to be angry with her for keeping the secret. Finally she reveals that she did say yes to the proposal. Ado hits her head on a lamp and passes out. Seb revives her. She hugs both of them. (Maybe she enjoys Sebastián's embrace a little too much.)

Mónica and Pepe look at a new apartment. He agrees to hire a "girl" so they won't have the trouble they did last time. (Wait, wasn't he just fired? How can he afford a nice apartment AND a maid?) But he wants a dog.

Pancho and Rebeca have arrived in New York. Pancho is overwhelmed... and cold.

It turns out they're not at Avon World HQ, which is in Manhattan. They're at Avon Global Research & Development, in Suffern, NY. Nervous Pancho makes random comments in English to their guide, Sofía, who clearly isn't used to such goofiness. The executives at the meeting are a bit confused by him too, but try to be charmed. Then this Wilson guy shows up to start the meeting. Rebeca helps Pancho with his manners. I don't think Pancho likes the looks of this Wilson fellow, who apparently doesn't speak Spanish. Wilson presents them with their Flame award of excellence for Avon Mexico. Funny, it looks like a plaque to me. When he gathers Pancho into a congratulatory embrace, Pancho hisses to him in Spanish that Rebeca is HIS hot wife.

They tour a factory and Pancho wants to get frisky with Rebeca right there. Then the two take in the sights of New York; but really, all they see is each other.

Candy tells the Mother Superior that she's given it a lot of thought and she really wants to be a nun. Mother S tells her you don't join (or wear) an outfit like the clergy just to hide from your worldly problems. You need to have the calling. It's a long process. You have to give up worldly goods. "Where do I sign?" Candy replies.

Tomás and his partner are at the bar where young hacker Don David was last seen. (So Tom is now a homicide detective in addition to SWAT? Or did he transfer?) The bartender knew the kid and is shocked to hear that he was killed. Yes, he remembers the woman he left with. She had everyone's attention as soon as she came into the room. (Not only is she hard to miss on account of being so tall, but she was wearing a bright pink dress besides. Does she think her magic earrings make her invisible?) She went right up to the kid and they left soon afterwards. The bartender agrees to go to the police station as soon as he gets off work.

Next day.

Ana wakes Lupita. (Ana didn't sleep all night, so why should anyone else get their rest either?) She's decided. Whoopiee. Ana calls Pancho and Rebe (who are enjoying a hansom cab ride in Central Park) to tell them her choice. We don't get to hear who it is. Pancho and Rebe are coming home tonight.

Adrián tells himself that he'll be the lucky guy. (He's wearing a suit just to stand around in his hotel room.) He calls his daughters and tells them he's still waiting but he's the happiest guy in the world.

Pina tells Fred (who told himself in the hallway that he'll be the lucky guy) that she's marrying Sebastián before he has a chance to hint around about Vice wanting her back. He tells her that Vice is a mess, he's divorcing Candy, and there are things that he's hiding from Fred. Pina doesn't want Vice dragging Fred down. Fred finds it hard to believe he's the child of a broken home. When he gets married, he'll fight to make sure it's for life. (Maybe he shouldn't marry a flake, then.) Pina is proud of him. Fred promises he won't get in the way of her marrying Sebastián.

Pancho and Rebeca talk about the twins' baptism. To avoid fighting over it, he'll pick Julio's and she'll pick Ana-G's. They pause to admire the Statue of Liberty, then go back to smooching.

The bartender works with the sketch artist to come up with drawing that is so vague, it could be Mónica or any other person with a chin-length bob as well as Violeta. But I guess the fact that the bartender already said she's six feet tall ought to narrow it down a bit too.


Part Two: Magical Mystery Wedding

Considerably less consolidated due to faster action!

Vice receives a visit from Violeta in his office. "I'm doing okay, considering I'm in a relationship with a murderer!" Violeta complains that Pepe's still nosing around her daughter. Moni deserves better. Violeta will have to intervene!

Ana calls Fred. "Let's meet." She doesn't want to do this over the phone. Pancho and Rebeca come back from New York and go straight to the nursery. Ana stays behind to call Adrián.

Pancho shows off his Flame which still looks like a plaque to me. Temo asks, "What did you bring me?" He's old enough to have better manners. Pancho pretends he didn't bring anything, but no, he brought lots of stuff. Ha ha ha. Ana returns from her phone calls and assures Pancho she's sure of her decision. He's sad she'll leave him, but gives his blessing.

Pepe and Moni have been summoned downstairs to see Vice. In short:

Vice: Violeta is dangerous.
Moni: Naw, she's just sick.
Vice: Pepe is in danger.
Moni: You're exaggerating.
Vice: He could die.
Moni: Are you sure?
Vice: I've done my duty. Do what you like. I just don't want any more deaths.
Moni: Wut? That's crazy!
Vice: I can't say any more. Don't take any wooden nickels, kids!

Pepe and Moni tell Pancho and Rebeca. Nobody is 100% sure that Vice is wrong about Violeta. Moni considers calling her mother, but is dissuaded. But Violeta wouldn't hurt her too... or would she?

Vice goes to Enzo and Chela's. Chela was just telling Enzo this pregnancy hasn't been so bad. Less nausea. Vice's arrival kinda spoils her good mood. She reads him the riot act for putting Pancho in jail and kicks him out. Enzo agrees to take Vice outside. Chela tells Concepción not to let him in ever again.

Vice, increasingly unhinged, babbles. Terror and alcohol have rendered him somewhat incoherent. He can't turn Violeta in. He won't explain why, but says he's "involved" regardless. She "knows things." Enzo tries to understand. Vice freaks out and wants to leave.

Next day.

Candy is all nunned up. Mother Superior is surprised she hasn't yet told her family of her plan to join the clergy. They're going to find out sooner or later and she won't be able to get out much.

Ana and Lupita plan the wedding and visit the church. They wonder where Candy is. She's supposed to be Ana's maid of honor and such.

Vice goes to Pina's office and invites her to dinner. He wants to talk. Not about work, but about "us." Pina takes great pains to assure him that they are DONE and there is no "us." She's moved on. Vice whines about Sebastián. Pina says, in short, "Fred told me you were a wreck, but ye gods!" "You're all I have left in my life," Vice pleads. Pina shows off her ring to drive the point home. She says, in far more words, "you suck, please go away." He gets handsy with her.

Pancho shows up just in time and tells Vice to pick on someone his own size. He reminds Vice that he hasn't forgotten his week in the joint, then kicks him out.

Pina explains that Vice is upset she's getting married; he had told her she's the most important thing in his life. Suddenly, they both realize that Sebastián is probably in trouble.

Oh yes he is. Pina calls Security. (Just think, Tom could have had a slightly interesting day at Avon.) Vice is shaking Sebastián. S is brave, but Vice is loco. Pancho comes in and tells Vice he's lost Pina forever. He won't calm down.

Security arrives. Pancho tells them not to be rough with this executive. Vice makes defiant noises and gestures, but lets them escort him out. Pancho comments that he doesn't smell the sulfur.

WEDDING DAY!

How many weddings is this, now?

Ana shows off her wedding gown to Pancho and the Rebecas. (Doña Rebe says she looks so great she'll give the groom a heart attack; no one even blinks at this, but I'm glad Lupita didn't hear it.) Pancho gets teary-eyed. Ana hints that she's pregnant. Ha ha! Just kidding! Man, that joke never gets old! He tears up some more, offers his own blessing and that of her mother and grandmother, and calls up the family to go the church.

Adrián is putting on formal wedding attire. Fred is still in his robe and his combing his hair slowly and deliberately. Neither looks very happy. Nervous? Angry? Sad?

Pancho and Ana are at the church. Where's La Burra? And where's Ana's HEMLINE?? Doesn't this church have a dress code? Like, requiring the bride to wear something? Anyway, Pancho is remembering the day Lupita got married, and he wanted to run far away with her and leave everyone behind. He feels the same way now. (Again, I can't believe he's talking about Lupita's wedding. That's the last thing Ana needs to have on her mind.) They cry. He tells her it's the happiest day of her life. The bells are ringing. Time to go in!

Everyone is watches as Pancho leads Ana to the altar and hands her off to the groom. (Candy is there in an orange dress with a moderate cleavage display and less jewelry than usual.)

At first, all we see of the groom is his hand, then Ana's smiling face. Finally we pan back to his face, and it's Freddy. Phew!

Then Adrián comes in and stands there, halfway down the aisle, for a long time. Then he takes a seat, followed by his daughters. Fred turns around a moment later, wondering where his father is.

Except for the long, boring flashbacks to Ana's breakup with Adrián, this ceremony goes off without a hitch (besides the marital hitching, of course).

So, about the flashback to the breakup. She tells him he's a great guy, but. That's enough for Adrián. He doesn't want to hear any more, but she insists. She acknowledges that he's never let her down and this is really going to hurt; but she's marrying Freddie. He wants to know why. Basically, it's that Fred got to her first and he's the love of her life. He was a jackass for a while, but it turned out okay.

All Adrián wants to know is if it's because of his daughters. She says no. It's just that the heart doesn't take orders. They're going in different directions and she doesn't want to make a decision she'll regret later. He weeps manfully and wishes Ana and Fred well.

So, back to the ceremony. I think the priest had better hurry up because they're already rubbing noses and I don't how much longer they can wait for the kiss. Here it comes: They kiss. Nobody has a sudden attack of rigor mortis.

Speaking of which, Vice is at home with Violeta. He finishes his drink while she fixes his tie. Today's earrings remind me of Eeyore's tail. She drags him out of the room. Vice flings his whiskey glass over his shoulder and it shatters on the floor. We get a close-up of the broken glass. (Good thinking, Vice! Make it look like you put up a struggle!)

Outside the church, Pina and Pancho greet one another as co-in-laws. The newlyweds emerge to great applause. Doc Oc offers his lucid congratulations and advises them never to let any third parties break them up. Fred sadly observes that his father never showed up.

I don't know this band that's playing at the reception, but they're good. I like the accordion. Could do without all the bubbles, though - reminds me of the Lawrence Welk show.

Ana does a song. She's now wearing a puffy thing along the bottom of her dress, I guess so she doesn't flash everyone when she goes up on the stage. She sings that song she always does. A new song would have been nice for this occasion, but I guess she didn't have time to write one!

Violeta and Vice show up just after Ana finishes her song. Vice has already obtained a new drink. Violeta is complaining that only a Lopez would have the poor taste to hold a wedding reception at a disco. Pancho notices the smell of sulfur. Candy sees Vice and becomes agitated. Pancho and Rebe try to keep her from making a scene.

Vice makes a lame excuse to Fred for missing the ceremony. He feels God has forgotten him anyway.

Moni and Pepe notice Violeta. Pina asks Sebastián not to let Vice provoke him.

Violeta congratulates Fred and tells him that that soon she'll be related to him, too. She'll be like hismother.

Tom comes back from a phone call somewhere and stares bug-eyed at Violeta. "Who is that?" he asks, recalling the incredible likeness produced by the police sketch artist. Moni identifies her as her mother - Vicente's lover.

Next time:
Wild guess: Violeta acts like a jerk.

Labels: familia

Hello from scenic Clinton, NY where I am attending my nephew's graduation from Hamilton College. Over to you.

Labels: relaciones, telemundo, valiente

Casa de Kenia

Kenia pleads with Gael to forgive her.  She grabs his hand as he turns to leave and pulls him back. I’m your sister!  I’m your sister! I lied because of Ingrid! Gael looks both hurt and confused. She made me promised not to reveal myself so that she can watch your movements.  He asks why. She doesn’t regret abandoning you.  She wants to take advantage of you!  That story makes no sense.  I’m just a poor devil. How can she take advantage of someone with nothing?  She tells him that he has her.  She repeats that she’s his sister and touches his face.  Quien es mi sperm donor?  Who is my father?  Do you know who my father is?  Tell me!  She says she doesn’t know his name.  Your father is Forest Lawn fertilizer, like mine!  Forget about me Kenia.  I’m getting the hell out of this town.  Gael storms out!  She runs after him!  As she hurries past her furniture, I find myself coveting her apartment.  IKEA?  Pier One?  Back to the story!  She’s begging him to listen to her!   Gael ignores his distraught sister, unties his horse and rides off into the night.  Kenia, while screaming after Gael, does not notice that Gabby has been observing this tragic scene from a distance.  He slowly saunters up the street.  I found you, he says to himself.  She runs back into the house and slams the door!   Looks like it’s gonna be a romantic night for Gabby, he’s carrying wine and a rolled up take-out bag under his armpit.

Snack Cart

Casa de Arango-Dinner Table

Casa de Arango-Home Office

Paolo asks Carmina if she got his letter.  Yeppers, she says, but if anyone asks, you wrote it to Elisa, OK?  Yes, but why Elisa?  If you don’t say the letter was meant for Elisa, you’ll lose me.  She says that she will explain later and hangs up.  He does not see Alfonsina waiting at the door.  Alfonsina enters the room and wants to know who was on the phone.  He says it was Sabrina.  Estas seguro?  Of course I’m sure.  He dashes out of the room. 

Casa de Don Lucio

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Standing at the dinner table, Ingrid is lighting candles in preparation for her romantic dinner with Gabby.  She’s wearing the lovely necklace Gabby gave her.  Gabby strolls in, carrying a completely different take-out bag, and kicks the door closed.  He tells Ingrid that he just saw her daughter, the thief.  She’s still in La Ermita.  Ingrid looks pleased (there will definitely be no big blue NERF balls for him tonight). 

Casa de Arango-Foyer

Casa de Castanon-Foyer

Carmina is nonchalantly sitting on a couch, rubbing her feet in the foyer, when Agosto returns.  She asks where he’s been.  Searching for Elisa.  He tells her that he went to Don Lucio’s house.  Carmina tells him that Elisa came home with Lolita a while ago.  He starts to go find her.  Carmina tells him to find out who wrote the letter first.  For one millisecond, a suspicious look flashes across his face.  But, alas, it was only fleeting.  Carmina says that if he goes to her now, Elisa will only lie about it.  They’ll wait until the morning to investigate this. He agrees.  

Iglesia

Unknown Area

Casa de Arango

Dr. Whipped’s Clinic

Paloma is bummed.  Elated, Elisa floats in and kisses her.  “What’s wrong?”  Elisa sees fallen Paloma’s countenance.  My grandma knows about the kissident in Gael’s bedroom.  She smacked the hell out of me and told me that I was a disappointment.  Basically, Elisa says Ramona had a right to be mad.  Yeah, but she didn’t have to hit me.  She’s never hit me before. Elisa tries to cheer her up. She sits on Paloma’s desk.  I have great news!  Dam Fine and I are so totally dating now!  At first, I must say, it so was hard for me to choose between Gael, (the total love of your FREAKING LIFE), and Damien.  Buutttttttt!  Dam Fine is hot and he’s so stinking rich; I chose him”   Tears slide down Paloma’s face.  People in love make her sick too.  Elisa tells her that one day she’ll find love too.  Stuff like that doesn’t happen to me, says Paloma.  It never will because Gael is the stupidest man in the world.  Side note:  if I am ever at the point where I am about to slit my wrists.  Please….for the love of all that is good…don’t send sad or happy Elisa over to cheer me up. 

Casa de Arango

Iglesia

Green Castanon Fields

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Ingrid is sitting at the table, wearing a chaste pink Alice the waitress uniform, when Gaby shoves frightened Kenia through the door.  Hola Kenia, says her mother.  Did you think you could trick me? 

Procesadora-Damien’s Office

Casa de Costanon-Living Room

Back to the Casa de Costanon-Living Room

Casa de Arango-Front Yard

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Dead Weeds of Elisa Castanon

Thank goodness!  Someone finally sent an official memo to the extras and explained that spreading out across the field will be more realistic.  Paragraph one:  forty people cannot pick one weed.  Paragraph two:  wear some jeans and t-shirts.  No one will believe that field hands dress in their white Sunday best.   Gael arrives on horseback.  He lacks side burns and that disturbs me.  He has come to tell Lucio that he’s leaving.  He gives Don Lucio the green house estimates, but feels it’s a waste now that Damien involved.  Lucio says that it’s a shame that he’s leaving since the whole thing was his idea.  Don Lucio wants to know why he’s doesn’t give the papers to Elisa.  Cuz Elisa’s in love with Damien and she doesn’t love me.  He gets on his horse and leaves.  Side note:  Everyone involved with the project appears to be working in Elisa’s fields except Scarlett (I mean Elisa) who, only last week, vowed to clear the fields by hand.  “As God is my witness!” she declared to the sky as she tore at the weeds with her bare hands.  That was last week.  How quickly she forgot now that she has that sweet contract.  Oh Well fiddle dee dee!

Casa de Castanon-Foyer

Casa de Castanon-Home Office

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Casa de Kravitz-Whipped (less Dr. Whipped)

Mrs. Kravitz (Begonia) is sitting on the couch talking on the phone in the living room when Enrique comes home.  She’s telling someone named Rosita that her husband was messing with the fortune teller’s granddaughter.  He deliberately slams the door in order to get her attention.  She quickly ends the call.  You’re putting our family business out on the block, ma?  She says that she’d rather spread the news than have someone else do it.  You’re telling everyone that dad is hiding the baloney pony (thank you Rick Dugerman) with Paloma?  Why are you ruining that girl’s reputation?  Dad swore to me that the Paloma was never his lover.  Mrs. Kravitz is upset that Enrique is on his father’s side.  He tells her, that he is not on either side.  She’s a friend of Elisa, who is the daughter of Estefania.  What did I expect?  He sits beside her on the couch and chides her for gossiping.  The phone rings and she answers it.  It’s Alfonsina.  She looks at her son.  Excuse me!  This gossip’s not gonna spread itself.  Enrique leaves. 

Witch Mountain-Kitchen Table

Casa de Castanon

Church-Gael’s Bedroom

Casa de Mickey and Mallory

Casa de Arango

Labels: abismo