Friday, May 18, 2012

Una Familia Con Suerte #255-256 Thu 5/17/12 Another tick on the body count, and surprisingly, Violenta had nothing to do with it (or DID she?!).


Parking Lot, sinister…
Violenta fills her creepy stabber ring with poison and twirls her waxed-off mustache anticipating Candy’s demise.

Building K, mournful…
Frida tearfully reports that when she arrived at Don Matías’s place, he had died, all alone. Pepe and Moni confort her.

Casa Lopez, confrontational…
Violenta is dressed for a sock hop and is hopping mad. Rebe the Gatekeeper won’t let her into Candyland, and has some words about her poor mothering skills as well. Vio twists her face into a sneer and the jewel cap off her poisoning bling. Rebe turns to show Vio out and nearly gets a fatal pat on the back, but she’s saved by the bell(icose child). For once that wretched kid has made himself useful. Vio slinks back to her snakepit and Temo reports to Rebe that he managed not to fight at school. She’s proud of him.

Snakepit, snakey…
Vice: Candy set us up! I didn’t call you! It was a trap!
Violenta: Who cares? You’re rid of her now, woo-hoo!
Candy, on phone: If that snake sticks so much as her forked tongue into Casa Lopez again, she will be roadkill!

Casa Lopez, dinner chaos level 6…
Lic Mendoza: Oh, what timing, I have happened to drop in right as dinner is being served.
MamaRebe: Join us! Boot Ana out and take this chair right next to me! Chucha, bring peeled grapes and palm fronds!
Slicky Licky: Flirty flirt flirt.
Ana: AHEM. How’s Pop’s case going?
Lic: He’ll be released tomorrow.
Everyone: Woooooo!!! Let’s celebrate while he stews in prison a little longer for no good reason!

Casa Enzo/Chela, heartless…
Enzo: Psssst! Mamación! Cook me a steak, pretty please! But don’t let Chela find out!
Mamación: No way! She’d kill me!
Enzo: I will kill you sooner if I don’t get some manly beef down my manly hatch!
Chela: Enzo!
Enzo: Mmmmm, this green slime is delicious.

Snakepit, creepy…
Violenta: You’re better off without that cheap slutty ramera. I was just going to kill her, so I could have you to my expensive slutty ramera self.
Vice: No! You can’t just go around killing people!
Vio: Whyever not? If you want her alive, it’ll cost you. Join me in the cama to make a deposit.
Vice: Doy, okay. This boink’s for you, Candy!

Casa Pina, giddy…
Adoración: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! You’re going to ask Pina to marry you?!?!?!!!!!
Sebastián: SHHH! So, will she say yes, do you think? How does it look to you?
Ado: Oh, you look MIGHTY FINE.
Sebas: Ado!
Ado: Oh, erm…she likes you, but who knows?
Pina: Hola! What is this confab all about?
Ado: I’ll just scram.
Sebas: Off we go to infinity and beyond, my dear Pina.

Casa Rinaldi, naggy…
Enzo: Come on, can’t I just have a little steak? All these vegetables are making me gassy.
Chela: Better farts than an infarto. And I shouldn’t have to watch you like a child!
Enzo: Well, how about you distract me like an adult?
Chela: Not until you’re all fixed up.
Enzo: A kiss, at least?
Chela: Okay.
Enzo: Smack slurp slobber swak nom nom…
Chela: No treats, so you’re going to eat me?! Stop!

Da hood, melancholy…
Frida: Thanks for the ride. I am so verklempt over Don Matías. Come in and console me for awhile?
Pepe: No, sorry. I know your game. I’m happy with Moni. Stop trying to kiss me.

Next day…
CERESO, antagonistic…
Pancho wants to see La Directora before he leaves. She asks what he wants (other than, obviously, her hot greasy self). He wants justice, and he plans to press charges. He has proof of her corruption. Get over it, that’s how things work, I am a god, she says. Pancho points out that she’s only the big fish in her own filthy little pond, and in the outside world, he’s far more powerful. She pulls out a gun and tells him he has to die. Pancho ducks and literature takes the hit. Pancho excuses himself and la directora decides now would be a good time to run away.

Pina’s office, gossipy…
Arnoldo: So, how’s the fairytale with Prince Charming?
Pina: All Disney, no Grimm. Although, last night I felt like he was hiding something.
Sebas: Hola. I am an open book. I was just…pensive.

Vice’s office, vile…
Lic Mendoza: Yet again, I am here to inform you that a dame would like to be legally rid of your skanky self, pronto. Sign here.
Vice: What if I don’t wanna?
Lic Mendoza: If you sign right now, Candy isn’t asking for anything. If you make it difficult, you’ll just cost yourself a fortune in legal fees and she’ll take you for everything you’re worth. It’ll be painful.
Vice: Scribble scribble. There.

Casa Lopez, jubilant…
A feast is spread, and Enzo eyes it like he’s been on a desert island for a month. Chela tells him he can have cucumber and carrot, no salt. Everyone’s dressed up and bouncing in anticipation of Pancho’s arrival, except Pepe, whose mood is tempered somewhat by the demise of Matías. Tomás ex plomero calls to say he can’t make it; he has to go arrest the prison despot. Pancho somehow manages to sneak in a side door. Everyone celebrates. Ana’s band kicks into gear with their usual stupid song. No matter how much they sing about him, I still don’t like him.

Despot Depot, tense…
Polis: Yoo-hoo! We are here to arrest you!
Prison directora: Bwahaha! I will escape through this trapdoor, into my dungeon!
Tomás: Oh, look, a trapdoor.
Prison princess: Eeeek! Rats!
Polis: Okey dokey, come with us.
Hoosegow hag: Hey! You didn’t kill the rats!

Casa Lopez, grrrroooosssssss…
Pancho and Rebe take a “romantic” bubble bath with all the cliché trimmings. I can’t watch. FF.

Casa Lopez, back downstairs and squeaky clean…
Mealtimes were so much more pleasant without Pancho’s bellowing. Alas, he’s back. The entire front page of the newspaper is Pancho’s release from prison. Pancho catches up on the news: MamaRebe is going to date Mendoza, Rebe’s working at Avon again part-time, Candy’s kicking Vice to the curb, Pepe and Moni are going to live together again, Freddy sent Ana down the drain, and Tom arrested the brig pig.  One misses so much being in prison a few days. Pancho introduces them to the rat he adopted from the prison and named Matilde after the prison director. He puts it right on the dining table with the food. Everyone is friqueando.

Snakepit (formerly Candyland), crabby…
Vice is annoyed by the newspaper and snaps at Violenta. She is up to no good.

Casa Pina, celebratory…
Pina and Ado are thrilled with the news of Pancho’s release, even more so because it will torch Vice.

Freddy’s office, * * (that was Freddy’s hand gesture de impactado)…
Sebastián tells Freddy he wants to ask Pina to marry him. * *. Freddy wisely advises that if Sebas wants to marry Pina, he should be talking to HER about it.

Stalker central, finally resigned? We can only hope…
Adrian tells his daughters it’s over with Ana, and for once they don’t tell him to keep trying. They console him instead. Yay.

Boudoir de Ana, same old, same old…
Ana is still torn. She decides to call Adrián. SIGH.

Casa Enzo, gripy…
Enzo complains to Pancho about the icky vegetables and nopal juice he has to ingest. He says his heart problems are due to poor diet and lack of exercise. Pancho scoffs at the “lack of exercise.” He must have seen Enzo shirtless, too. Enzo’s dying to escape and eat something tasty. Upstairs, Candy cries to Chela and the longsuffering Paquito. I love the look Paquito is giving Candy…it’s like, “Duh. What did you EXPECT?!”

Parking lot (a real parking lot, not Violeta’s weird lair), confrontational…
Vice blocks La Burra with his car. He and Pancho and Rebe get out and glare at each other. You’ll pay for this, you’ll be left all alone, etc.

Church, sobby…
Candy cries to Jesus on the Cross, who frankly looks like he’s got enough problems. What to do, what to do? A vase of flowers crashes to the floor. I guess that is some kind of sign? Well, who knows, but then a twinkly magic nun walks by, and rather than seeking a neurologist or an ophthalmologist, Candy decides this means she should be a nun. Oy vey.

Casa Chela & Enzo, still not happy hour, despite Violeta’s cocktail attire…
Violenta swoops in on her broomstick and twirls her ring.

Casa Lopez. ARGH…
Once again, Adrián has dropped in from Guadalajara to have the same old conversation with Ana. WHY?! He says the game is over. I thought it was already over? Why can’t it ever be over?! He says goodbye and walks out. Oh, he’ll be back. Mala hierba nunca muere. Ana runs up to cry to Lupita. Lupita inexplicably does not slap her silly.

Avon, a hero’s reception…
Pancho returns to the office, to wild applause and tap-dancing (by Raimundo). He makes a boring speech. This guy really loves to listen to himself talk. Ugh. Freddy realizes that his reign of terror as Finance Director is over.

Casa Rinaldi, snippy…
Violenta doesn’t understand why Moni is fed up with her. Pepe arrives and Vio seethes. Pepe tells Moni Mommy Dearest’s look gives him the creeps. He has to go hear Don Matías’s will. Moni tells Vio to get out of her house and out of her life if she can’t be nice to Pepe.

Nunnery, pious…
Candy asks the stunned mother superior how she can become a nun.

Pina’s office,
Pina tells Freddy she can tell Sebas is keeping a secret from her. She demands to know what Freddy knows.

Pancho’s office, schmoopy…
Pancho and Rebe kissy kissy blah.

La Válvula, mournful…
Don Matías has left his house and the auto shop to Frida. She tells Pepe she’d trade it all for him, but since he isn’t making that an option, she fires him. Not to be mean, she just can’t have him around distracting from her fresh start. He understands. They have a LONG goodbye hug.

Pancho’s office, overly generous…
Enzo and Sebas tell Pancho that Frauddie is working really hard as Finance Director. Pancho decides not to clip his wings. Sebas inexplicably asks Pancho for advice setting up a super special romantic proposal.

Avon conference room, sulfurous…
Much drama over transferring the presidency back to Pancho. Vice is a brat, obvio.

Snakepit, charmless…
Vice pours himself a whiskey and tells Violenta they’re through. Sounds like suicide to me. She doesn’t take it well. He’s afraid she’ll poison him, but she says no. Maybe Freddy, though…

Casa Lopez, * *.
Ana’s whining is mercifully disrupted by some SHOCKING * * document delivery to Pancho. It’s from Avon HQ in New York, and he can’t read it because it’s in English. Rebe translates for him. He’s invited to a celebration in NY to be the super special snowflake he is again some more.

Casa Frauddie, Dra. Lonelyhearts on the job…
Lupita visits and tries to convince Frauddie to forgive Ana and get back together with her. If Lupita were half so sick of Adrian as I am, she’d march Frauddie and Ana right down to the judge’s office and make them sign the marriage certificate on the spot, and put an end to this which one? nonsense.

Casa Pina, confrontational…
Pina tells Sebas she can tell he’s hiding something, and she will NOT live with secrets and sneaking around again. Either tell her what’s up, or they’re dunzo. He totally gets it, having been deceived himself, so he confesses he is indeed hiding something. Pina starts to cry. He asks her to trust him. Ohmuhgoooosh, Sebas, just ask her to marry you already. Why the pomp and circumstance? She hates this!

Casa Rinaldi, hormonal…
Pepe and Moni snuggle and he tells her Frida fired him. Moni thinks that is good news. He says Frida is no threat because he only wants Moni. They start to get en flagrante right on the sofa with Enzo and Chela upstairs.

Avon, ugh more Pancho…
Tarzan’s wife Eugenia brings in the kids and meets Pancho. Pancho calls her Jane because she’s married to Tarzan. Pancho gives all the kids Pancho dolls. Yay.  Also some game. Jane scores a little better…he gives her keys to a house. She’s tearfully grateful.

Café, ARGH.
I knew we weren’t rid of him. Adrián is having coffee with Lupita, and for some reason she doesn’t tell him to GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY. Maybe she likes making Ana suffer.

Babypalooza, * *…
Candy tells MamaRebe she wants to be a nun. QUÉ?! Rebe and Pancho spy on them from Avon on the nannycam, but they don’t have sound.

Avon, anxious…
Sebas frets to Pancho that Pina is upset and the situation is dire, so he needs a brilliant idea QUICKLY. How can he ask Pina to marry him? (Keep it simple, stupid…just ask her! Sheesh.)

Jailhouse…rockin’…
Ana’s band puts on a concert at the prison. The inmates are really into it, even though they play the terrible Pancho Lopez song. Pancho makes up with Gargoyle.

Winery restaurant…the crime is love in the first degree…
Tomás is summoned and he parks his police car with lights flashing and goes inside, wondering what the trouble is. Lupita has set up a private romantic dinner. The emergency is that she wants some time alone with him. They’re lovey dovey.

Casa Lopez, master boudoir…
Rebe packs for the trip to New York. Pancho asks MamaRebe what she and Candy were talking about when they saw her look shocked on the nannycam. She won’t tell them.

Snakepit de Vice, still snakey…
Enzo is very worried about Vice. Vice says he wants to die.

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Abismo de pasión #49 5/17/10: It never pays to cast pearls before swine*



*Echar margaritas a los cerdos = to throw daisies at pigs (i.e. pearls before swine)


Refritos: We left Damian and Elisa enjoying a sweet, but no doubt very short, love frolic in our favorite cenote. Enjoy it while you can kids.


New Beans: We are in Mexico city. I know I should comment on Flor’s dress, but frankly I just don’t know what to say, except that once again Altair Jarabo proves she can look smashing in just about anything. She whines to pops about her credit card not working. Phone rings, “Hopefully its Damian,” Pops rolls his eyes. Doh, it’s Enrique Tovar and she refuses to answer. It’s all his fault she and Dam broke up. Pops eye rolls again.



Back in La Ermita Don Augusto pays Doc Tovar a visit, he wants to talk about Carmina. Doc’s face is priceless, does Don A know about his brief fling? Nope, Assgusto just wants to gripe that Carmina is supposed to be resting, but instead she’s making daily visits to the Centro de Salud. (I think that's what he said.) Doc tells Disgusto that Carmina is very independent. If she doesn’t want to stay sequestered at home what can he do? Disgusto suggests that Doc make house calls. Uh, no, for personal reasons Doc can’t do that. Assgusto knows he and BegoneYa are splittsville, right?


Enrique kvetches to Sabrina about Flor not answering her phone. Sis is incensed, how can he care more about Flor than what’s going on between their parents? Doesn’t he care that dad is sniffing around a chica young enough to be her sister? She mentions Paloma but Enrique ain’t buying it. Sabrina twists the knife, Flor didn’t answer his call because she doesn’t like him, nyaaah!


Elisa runs home and gives Lolita a big hug, she’s the happiest woman in the world! (Gah anvils!) She and Damian finally confessed their undying love! Lolita is ecstatic but...when is Elisa going to tell dad? Elisa doesn’t know yet, but she and Dam are going to coordinate when to drop the bombs. And...Pop! goes the Terminal Wet Blanket Sleazel. It’s Tia Orangina, wondering why all the joy? “Uh, nuthin’,” they giggle, “we just woke up happy.”  The Great Pumpkin looks thoughtful and evil, she doesn’t like smiley faces in her pumpkin patch.


“Tio!!!” Dam rushes to Padre Lupe, scaring the heck out of him, to tell him his great news. Elisa loves him! He repeats this loudly, his joyful words echoing throughout the church. Just in time for Gael to walk in and hear, poor baby. Padre and Dam are exclaiming in joy, but Gael is sorry to interrupt so much happiness, he just wanted to tell Padre he’s wanted at the health center. Sad music in the background while Padre tells Dam not to worry, Gael will be happy for both Dam and Elisa. His Gael is a great guy with a great big heart. Dam still feels guilty. (We’re going to cut Gael a little slack for feeling bitter today, right? Because we know it's only going to get worse.)


Surprisingly, Fina visits BegoneYa at home. She apologizes for the shabby way she treated BegoneYa last time they saw each other, she was worried about her own problems. She doesn’t want what happened between their kids to get in the way of their, what's it called? Oh yeah, friendship. The harpies immediately start blaming Elisa Castañon for all their problems. Fina doesn’t know how to make Dam see that Elisa isn’t worth it. BegoneYa gripes about “those girls” going after married men. “What girls?” BegoneYa tells her that Doc is having an affair with the curandera’s granddaughter. Fina is blown away, they have the same problem but with different names, Elisa and Paloma! BegoneYa says they are names of hurricanes, wiping out everything in their paths. (Heh, and I thought I was the queen of hyperbole.) Fina swears it’s time to do something about those two to stop them once and for all.


Gael visits Kenia. He got Assgusto’s message from her and here he is, whazzup? She wants to know if he was able to convince Elisa to let her (Kenia) help him, err, them. Gael tells her to forget about Elisa’s tierras. Why don’t he and she go into business together?


Irritat-Ing’s got cabin fever. Gabino soothes her nerves with a kiss and a little surprise. It’s a beautiful pearl necklace, a family inheritance as it were. (Estefania’s is more like it.) He was saving it for the right sow woman.  He tenderly puts the necklace on her, yep they certainly are boink-worthy. 



Padre finds Gael packing his bags. Gael wants to thank Padre for all he’s done for him but he’s leaving town. He and Kenia are going to be business associates away from La Ermita. He’s leaving and never coming back. (What? Before the bare-chested arm-wrestling? No puede ser!)


Padre knows it’s because of Elisa, right? Gael admits he can’t stand to see the woman he loves in the arms of another man. These two are so cute. Padre keeps taking Gael’s clothes out of the suitcase and Gael keeps putting them back in.  Padre tells Gael that so many people need him and he’s got a commitment to Augusto. Precisely, says Gael, he does not want to end up like Don Augusto, so he and Kenia are outta there to start a new life. Padre is suspicious of Kenia and where she got her money, Gael barely knows her. True, but Gael doesn’t think she’s a bad gamble. There is something about her that he really likes.


Orangina sees Elisa combing her hair and nastily asks if she’s dressing up for the boys? Nope, just a visit to her padrino. Tia thought maybe Elisa was meeting Paolo. Elisa rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, luckily she hasn’t seen Paolo since dad put him in his place. That’s too bad, sneers Jack-Ho-Lantern, because she ran into Paolo and he feels just terrible about what happened. “I’ll never forgive him,” Elisa asserts. Pumpkinhead wonders if this has something to do with Damian. Everyone knows she and Dam have always had a special friendship, and now with his fiancee gone...”well just be careful because you know how your dad feels about him.” Elisa informs Tia that she’s old enough to choose her own friends.


Now it’s Dam’s turn for some familial torment. Fina wants to know why Dam is so happy? (What’s with all the unhappiness about happiness?) Doesn’t he have any remorse about what he did to Forencia? In short, no, and they have already talked the subject to death. Not Fina, she wants to beat this dead horse. How could Damian bring Flor to La Ermita to marry her, then turn right around and dump her? One word, Enrique. Fina scoffs, Flor was just trying to get his attention. “We would never have been happy,” he insists. He’s off to see Don Lucio. “Why?!?” screams Fina. “Because he’s my friend. Are you going to forbid that too?” Ooh, slam dunk Damian.


Paolo is writing a letter to someone, probably the Tangel-Ho. He can’t stop thinking of her. (I just want to say that for centuries people have gotten in trouble for writing letters. Why is he writing a letter?)  Gabino interrupts and tells Paolo to stop pretending he’s working. What was he writing? Oh just a letter too...Kenia, yeah Kenia. “Why don’t you just call her?” wonders Gabino. (Yeah!  That’s what I said!) Paolo says she won’t answer him because he knocked her up and she lost the baby. Gabino acts surprised. Why doesn’t Paolo say it with flowers? Gabino himself will be happy to deliver. Paolo thinks it’s a great idea, but he’ll take them himself.


We get up close and personal with Disgusto’s broken lens as he stands, befuddled, dreaming of Kenia. Pop! goes the Terminal Wet Blanket Sleazel. He comments that she seems odd, distant. “Really? You don’t say,”” she says, “you finally notice after all these years.” They have their usual stupid, sarcastic argument. He reveals that he visited Doc Tovar on her behalf to scold him for making Carmina travel every day to the health center.  (Oopsie, she’s a little worried.) He says Doc’s sorry he can’t spend more time attending Carmina but he’s got his own problems. He and BegoneYa are separado. “Verdad? Do tell!” She wants to hear all the chisme. Turns out he had something with another woman.


Carmina asks if given the chance would Assgusto be unfaithful? He answers with a question, why does she ask? What about her? “Por supuesto que no!” she swears. She says she loves him and he laughs. “What would you do if you found out I was unfaithful?” she asks. He tells her if she repeated what Stef did to him, most likely he would kill her. These two are most definitely the anti-marriage poster children.


Over at the Clinic Doc Tovar gets ready to leave for the day. Paloma thanks him for not saying anything to Don Augusto about Carmina. Enrique shows up and Doc wonders if he’s come to pay his respects to Paloma just like his sister did, because if so he can forget about it. Enrique just wants to talk to dad. Paloma breathes a sigh of relief.


Elisa rushes into Padrino’s house and gives him a big hug. (Her outfit reminds me of when I was in high school and my sweaters would be longer than my skirts. Although I’m pretty sure I never wore a lace doily for a skirt. But now I kind of get where my mom was coming from.)  She happily tells him she signed the Arango contract, tomorrow they start to work. Damian bangs on the door, enters and gives Elisa a big kiss. Aha! Don Lucio understands. They hug and smile happily while Lucio recalls Assgusto’s words, “Elisa is not my daughter. She is Rosendo’s.” A shadow passes over his face, he doesn’t want to be a wet blanket but notes that their relationship is going to cause muchos problemas with their respective families. They vow they are ready to confront every obstacle. Whatever, Don Lucio pulls out a bottle of wine to celebrate and sneaks out while they are kissing.


Paolo visits Horacio, he has a little job for him. Does he know Casa Castañon? He wants Horacio to take a card to someone and only to that specific person. It has to go directly into Carmina Bouvier’s talons.


Fonda "Al sazón que me toquen": Doc swears to Enrique that he’s not having an affair with Paloma. She’s young enough to be his daughter! “Then why does mom think that?” demands Enrique. Doc explains that BegoneYa is just looking for excuses for why their marriage is a disaster. Yes he had a relationship with another woman, not Paloma, and the relationship is over. He made a bad mistake but the distance between dad and mom has been great for many years. Divorce? Dad doesn’t know, but maybe a separation will help them decide. Dad says he appreciates Enrique’s mature support, he wishes he could get the same from his sister.


Paloma gets home and Ramona tells her Padre Lupe came to visit. “Gran it’s not what you think...” blurts Paloma. Ramons says she’s not thinking anything. What makes Paloma say that? Paloma admits she was in the bedroom but... “Que? Doc Tovar’s bedroom?” “No, Gael’s, but only to tell him I love him. And then Padre Lupe walked in just as I kissed him...” SLAP! Ramona gives it to Paloma across the face. “You went into that bedroom with a purpose. Maybe BegoneYa was right when she said you were a...” “Don’t say that, not you please.” begs Paloma. Ramona berates herself for not understanding Padre, and for telling Padre how honest and correct Paloma is. Paloma says nothing happened. “It better not have,” says Ramona, deeply disappointed.


Hey look. Padre Lupe’s got the table right behind Doc and Enrique. Well you know, small towns and all. Padre looks dejected. Lucio joins him and says it looks like he’s not the only one who needs a good cafe to clear his head. Padre tells him Gael is leaving town, he can’t bear being next to Dam and Elisa. Padre has cared for Gael since his was a baby, he’s a great kid and they’ve shared many wonderful things. Lucio tells Padre he fears he doesn’t see much of a future for Dam and Elisa’s courtship. They’re not prepared for what they are about to confront. “Love conquers all,” says Padre. Lucio advises Padre to pray hard for those two, they’ll need it when the s**t hits the fan. Padre assumes he means Fina and Assgusto, right? Lucio is the first to wish them happiness, but he’s afraid that “together” isn’t in the cards for them.


Dam and Elisa are in Padrino’s doorway kissing goodnight. He wants to walk her home but she doesn’t agree. She’s afraid that dad and Tia will see them. More kissing and hugging. Oops, over Dam’s shoulder she sees Gael. She hates seeing his sad face when he sees them together. Dam feels guilty too.



Some guy tells Gael about whiteflies attacking the pepper crop but Gael can only pay attention to Dam and Elisa.



Irritat-Ing and Gabino are in the love shack. He’s feeling frisky but she’d love to go out to eat, walk around, get out, anything. “Have patience,” he advises, “better that Alfonsina not see you.” He tells her he found out that Kenia lost Paolo’s baby. Why didn’t she tell him? He reminds her no secrets between them. He bounces off to town to get some wine and grub so they can eat, light candles and get naked.




Gael tells Kenia that he told Padre Lupe about their plans. She understands that leaving must hurt him. He admits Padre is the most important to him, the only family he ever had. She understands perfectly. Her mother married dad for money and when dad died everything changed. She discovered who her mother really was, a woman so cold, so frivolous, willing to sell herself or her own daughter. Together maybe she and Gael could make a family. He says no way, after this thing with Elisa he’s not ready to give his heart to anyone. “No Gael, you misunderstand me. I’m not interested in you as an hombre. You know who my mother is and you’ve suffered by her too. The woman that was there when I had my accident, who pretended not to know me, who wouldn’t hug or help me, who left me there to die, is Ingrid Navarro. Gael, you and I are siblings.” Wow, cara muy, pero muy impactada de Gael. It looks like he’s about to jump out of his skin.


Doorbell at Casa Castañon. Orangina is thrilled to see hunky Horacio at the door. “Hey, it’s none other than the murderer of poor Blanca. What can I do for you?” He hands her the card and leaves as fast as he can.


Carmina plops herself in the middle of the living room to read Paolo’s letter. “I miss you a lot. After we hooked up I can’t live without you. The memory of your orange, over-tanned skin and slobbery, botox kisses are stuck in my brain. I’m desperate for more of you.” Disgusto walks in and catches Orangina reading the letter. She tries to hide it behind her back. “What are you hiding?” he demands. He rips it out of her grip and reads, his cracked lens furiously refracting light. “What in the hell is this all about? Who sent this letter?”





Avances: Augusto has proof of his wife’s infidelity, but...”That letter isn’t for me, it’s for Elisa.” Doh! Don Augusto shows the letter to everyone in town and commands Elisa to marry Paolo. “I’d rather die,” she avows.

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Refugio Para el Amor-index

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Thursday, May 17, 2012

El Talismán #77 Thu 5/17/12 Yakety-Yak (Don't Talk Back!)


Apartamento Manuel:

Manuel and Angel are having a product placement pizza party. Manuel runs through all the tenses in Spanish 102, telling Angel that he has always loved, still loves, and will continue to love María. Angel replies that he just wants his Mom to be happy and not suffer, and if Manuel can do that for her, he is perfectly happy to trade his endorsement for a large thin-crust with jalapeños. Guau, that was easy. I predict a run on Domino’s by slightly creepy lovelorn middle-aged guys.

Apartamento María:

The Nájeras are all standing around in a medium state of friqueando when Antonio bursts in and kicks it up a notch. Two rules, he says! First, you can’t tell Pedro I forced you to marry me! Second, you have to pretend you love me! Camila and Army put up some token resistance, but clearly they don’t have a thought between them. Tony tells Camila he’s tired of fighting fair. Camila points out that he doesn’t know the meaning of fighting fair, which is true but not helpful.

Elvira starts squealing and stamping her paws, and Tony tells her to STFU. I realize at this moment that I actually like him more than I like her, which is scary. We made a deal, Antonio shouts, so it’s time for you to deliver the goods! I have sunk costs! Camila is horrified to realize that her mother has literally sold her to the highest bidder.

Antonio bashes out with as much grace as he bashed in, and the siblings confront their mother: now you've ruined both of our lives! Elvira protests tearfully that she was just trying to do what was best for Camila – she wanted to find her a good husband. The kids aren’t buying this, but they’re still too stupid to think of a way out, so Camila announces that she’ll go through with the wedding but hopes her mother is wracked with guilt for the rest of her life over what she’s done. Yeah, good luck with that.

Police Station:

Pedro’s mournful lawyer gets him out on bail, but I can’t follow the conversation because Rosemary’s got me fixated on the guard’s nightstick. He really does seem to have quite a lively relationship with it. Anyway, on his way out Pedro runs into the social worker, who tells him that even though he’s free, he’s still not going to make it to the top of the foster-parent list. Against her better judgment, she lets him meet with Santiago to say goodbye. When Pedro sadly informs the little moppet that he can’t come back to El Tal, Santiago calls him a lying liar who lies and says he never wants to see him again, ever. Maybe we can get Shirley Temple to play him in the movie.

El Tal:

Mariana drops by to see if Camila can come out and play some more of those fun memory games, but Camila’s not home, so the Padre takes her up to her old room instead. She heads right for the haunted suitcase and starts fondling the baby clothes. She has a really creepy flashback of a faceless Gregorio kicking her on the floor and goes into medium-high friqueando mode. Padre just watches.

Just then Pedro arrives and thinks it’s a good idea to sneak up silently behind her and try to “comfort” her, which of course scares the quesadillas out of her. He’s lucky she doesn’t bite his nose off. Poor Mariana ends up curled into a gibbering ball on the bed, repeating my baby, no, make him go away, my baby, etc. Unfortunately, once she comes around she loses that memory, too, so we’re really no forwarder than we were before.

The Only Psychiatrists’ Office in Fresno:

Manuel reports to María that her son told him to make her happy, so they now have no choice but to become novios. She seems to agree. It really was that easy! More pizza!

He’s draping himself across the desk like Marlene Dietrich when his phone rings. It’s Pedro, saying he’d better come over to El Tal and get Friqui Mariana, who’s having a wicked bad day. Saved by the bell! I was afraid he was going to start singing.

El Traz:

Everybody gathers back at the family homestead for a big ol’ threat-swap.  Tony tells Doris to pack her bags and get out before the weekend. Doris tells Tony he’s not the boss of her. The Pig tells Doris that she is forbidden to leave without informing him. Tony tells Fabi that it’s Stepmama Camila or the highway. Fabi says she’ll go pack. Flo freaks.

Avances:

Pedro brings Camila flowers, and she tells him they’re through. OH GOD NOT AGAIN.

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Abismo de pasión #48 5/16/12: a tale of 7 buildings in 7 acts... truth serum is back, and Elisita and Dam together together at last


Recap by Marta Ivett

Sorry this was so long, but it was a real good episode... lots of fun stuff, hot steamy scenes and lots of truths revealed...
7 locations: blue house, rectory, Cast-ILLON house, procesadora, Ramona's, Tovar household, Centro de Salud,
plus two non-building locations: Cast-ILLON fields, cenote
 
Act I  definitely the HOT spot in town tonight, the church rectory
We did not get the full replay of the HOT HOT HOOOOT delicious scene… just the ending kiss on the bed and (Pop-adre goes the Cheez-Wheezle!!)
PL: Gae… look what do we have here… WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? … (Gael and Pal look at each other).. HEY!..(Gael looks up with an Urkel  ‘did I do thaaaat??’ face)
G: Padre…I … I can explain..
PL: Nothing! Nothing would justify you two in here in this shameful spectacle, and in these conditions even less!
Pal: Padre!… Padre!... I swear to you that Gael… (Gael has a hand on forehead, probably with the WORST headache of his life) .. I was the one that got all the way in here and…
PL: I will ask you to leave, Paloma. (Gael signals to her in prayer/beg hand gesture to go ahead and leave) ..
(I have to say it was a nice touch by Padre/Rene C to not make much eye contact, since Padre must feel a bit ashamed/betrayed by Gael’s allowing this to happen. Also Mark T. looking down in shame.)
PL: How could it be, mijito? The least I expected of you was to respect this ‘house (of the Lord)’!
G: And I do! I swear, I did not do anything! I just came out of the shower, was drying up and suddenly Pal was there! what did you want me to do??
PL: Don’t swear! When words cannot be more dignified than silence, you can’t swear! You allowed this! And that makes you responsible for what happened here!
G: Ya, ya! It is not so serious! Nothing happened!
PL: Fortunately not, because I got here on time! Bless the Lord! But I am not so sure you would have stopped it!
G: What do you want me to do? I am a man! I have my weaknesses!
PL: Even if you doubt it, I understand that! We all have weaknesses! But that is no valid excuse, no siree! Even less if you know what this young girl feels for you! This barrage(barbajanada?) will let her build up false hopes with you!
G: I know it is not right! Don’t make me feel worse than I do!
PL: I am beginning to doubt that great love you claim you feel for Elisa.
G: That has nothing to do with what just happened, padre!
 
(in living room, Elisa won’t take Paloma’s explanations, don’t need them, but frankly, what the heck were you doing in his bedroom? … trying to convince him of the sincerity of my feelings! And I would have done it if Padre Loopy and you did not show up!... forgive me but you would not have convinced him. What you did was wrong. I am not criticizing you. I just want you to realize you were about to do something stupid, And you would have regretted it forever.  … and what are you here for?... to tell Gael that I love DamTheMan… well, ‘pa’ luego es tarde!’ (Pal is dragging Elisa toward Gael’s room, but Elisa stops her).. you are nuts! Now is DEFINITELY not the right time!...lets get out of here instead…
 
Act II, at the little blue house
Irritating: Are you sure Alf ate the story that I left town?
Gab: Yes, but It is important that you don’t leave the house... I am not going to be locked in here for long… just wait a while for my patrona to forget about you… and you are going to locate Kenya?... tomorrow, but I think it is pretty silly that you allowed your daughter to steal money right in front of your face! But don’t worry, that’s why you have me. And we will squeeze Alfie as soon as we find your son. … I told you I don’t care about that, Gab. I just want to be in peace for a while. Are you sure we can stay in this house?… it is yours, chula. Just make yourself at home, safe. … (just as if she got a stage call, in waltzes the other ‘owner’ of the little blue house)
 
Nemo-Ho: wanna tell me what are you and Miss Measles doing in MY house?... This is private property! And you have no right to … I told you I was coming to live here… and I told you CLEARLY that you could not!!  … Nemo-Ho tells Gabino he has half an hour for them two to learn and perform the disappearing act…  Nemo heads out. It is Irritat-Ing’s turn to nag. I demand you tell me who the heck is this woman??!!
Back At rectory.. (the most exciting spot in La Ermita tonight).. Kenya came to find Gael… Gael tells her Gael is in his bedroom, will go tell him you are here… But don’t worry, Padre! I will go… (Padre immediately gets on ‘STOP!!’ body pose .. ) No!, No!... no way!.. (walks over to other side to block her) I prefer that Gael attend to his friends (female) here in the living room. Please sit down. Kenya, right?. (on his way to the bedroom.. ‘What’s up with this?!’)
 
Gael comes out to living room and gets a new sermon (in front of Kenya!! OUCH!!) by Padre to ‘behave and respect this house’. Gael is shocked that Padre feels he has to say that in front of her. And so is Kenya.
G: Padre, don’t throw more salt at the open wound! I don’t want you to think that because of what just happened with Paloma, I can’t be proper in a room with a woman! You raised me! You know who I am!
PL: Alright. And I apologize. But behave!... (LOL!!)
Gael tells Kenya what just happened with Paloma.. and then Padre got in there and you can imagine!...
(Stop the action!... ok Gael, if you don’t feel anything for Pal, why did you smile so sweetly when you tell Kenya that Paloma kissed you?... you liked it, don’t deny it, youuuuuuuu liiiiiiiiiiiiiked it!)
K: I will confess it was my fault. I talked to Paloma and advised her to tell you about her feelings.
G: You shouldn’t have! Elisa was here too! And right now must be thinking the worst of me!
K: Please forgive me, it was not my intention to cause trouble. I am so sorry you can’t give yourself a chance with Paloma because of what you feel for Elisa. With Elisa you have no chance.
G: No, you never mean harm, no? just like with your pregnancy, no? (OUCH!)... Regardless, I am willing to fight for her and nothing and no one will stop me!
K: That is a lost cause, because Elisa loves DamTheMan.
G: Did she tell you?
K: IT is evident she loves him! No need for her to tell anyone! Just open your eyes! (absolutely right, K!)
G: Not true! If she loved him she would have said it the day he put her on the spot to decide!
K: I will give you the same advice I gave Paloma. Go tell her about your feelings! Only that way you will get the truth about hers!
G: Thank you for your advice, but don’t need it. what are you here for?
K: I came to become your and Elisa’s associate in the green house business project.
 
Back at little blue house…Irritat-Ing angry at Gabino: you lied to me, you said I could trust you, that I could stay here and that I would be safe!! Carmina will tell Alfonsina that I am here!!… Carmina doesn’t even know your name! trust me! I am super Gabino!!... no I don’t trust you… well then we are on same turf, you have lied to me too… if we want this to work, we will have to start trusting each other…
Outside the little blue house, UnkaHunk arrives in the La Anita pickup truck.. little did he know that the plan had changed, he no longer came for a night long powwow but to PICKUP LocaAunt, ‘No hay cama pa’ tanta gente!’ (there are not enough beds in the little blue house so LocaAunt is homeless for now)
At the outdoor café in town, UnkaHunk tells LocaAunt how DamTheMan chewed him up about Elisa… LocaAunt asks UnkaHunk lets cool it off, lets stop seeing each other… UnkaHunk not willing to split…
 
Act III  At the dysfunctional Tovar home, and at equally dysfunctional Cast-ILLON home
Inmundo gets home and the Female Inquisition is waiting for him. He came to tell them the truth.
Paloma is not the right target for your shooting/bad gossip frenzy… Paloma did not steal the cookie from the cookie jar… Ah no? then who?...
 
Inmundo insists Paloma is a good girl, Sabrina insists he is a liar and Pal a H_  and that she is disillusioned in him… Inmundo tells BeGoneYa that their relationship is long over and that it is no use trying to stay and trying to repair it. Inmundo says I will be at the Hotel NoTell in case you need anything. He starts to walk out. But first Be-goneYa even asks him for the keys. Seems the only one whose glasses prescription is correct (to be interpreted as ‘sees clearly enough’) is Inmundo. Everyone else sees what they want to see.
 
Cabana Cenote: Pal gets home… Grandma is waiting for the ‘cartilla’(rulebook reminder) of the day. This lecture is about Dr Tovar… In any case, Master YODA Ramona asks Pal to quit her job… That woman (Begone-Ya) won’t leave her in peace… Paloma is reluctant to just leave the job…But Ramona is still sane enough to believe Paloma when she tells her the story… However Ramona knows there is something else in Pal’s little dreamer head… Pal won’t talk so Ramona threatens if you wear that scampy outfit again I will burn it.
 
At Cast’iLLON Nemo-Ho arrives home on her crutches… She tells Elisa one story (came from Dr Tovar’s office, Dr says to keep on using the crutches), then she tells Charles Bronson look-alike another story … he is very suspicious, since she had told him last time another Dr besides Inmundo tended to her. HE is not convinced by her story… She turns the tortilla on them… is there something I should know?
 
Gael arrives at Cast’iLLON… He is blabbing but basically came to apologize/explain the Paloma incident… Elisa does not want any explanation, she is glad he realized Paloma is the woman for him (OK, I was VERY distracted by Elisa’s eyes on this take, the sunlight coming through the door top window made her eyes look like cat’s eyes since it made the pupils shrink). He says nope, YOU are the only one for me, Because I love you and you don’t give a hoot about me. And I know you will use what happened with Paloma to dump me and hook up with DamTheMan.  Elisa insists he is wrong. Gael argues that she is going to sign the contract with the Arango business. Elisa says she is not planning to. Gael argues Then how come you did not allow Kenya to invest with us?? Elisa asks him to ask Kenya. Gael insists again she did not take Kenya’s money because she wants to sign with Dam to be with him all the time. Elisa gives up on arguing against what he believes. Gael loses his marbles and yells at her to tell him the truth,  HE turns around and calms down before asking her to be honest with him. Gael has to close his eyes to gather strength to ask the hard question: Are you in love with DamTheMan? Yes… I love him dearly, but that does not mean I am hooking up with him. Gael says that would be silly, because he loves you too. And you deserve to be happy even if it is not with me. Elisa would not want to hurt him. HE says don’t worry about me. Or about me or anything else. If I am a hurdle for you to be with him, I am not anymore.
Elisa goes to tell Lolita about her convo with Gael. Elisa is surprised Gael did not get mad/angry… on the contrary, he asked her to hook up with DamTheMan. Lolita also finds it strange, but agrees with him. Forget everything and everyone… think only about yourself… Elisa is reluctant, so Lolita asks her to look at my life… see what could happen if you deny yourself the chance of love?... I do have you, but it is also true a part of my heart is empty.  Elisa acknowledges she sacrificed her happiness with Braulio for her. Elisa tells her she was a little kid, if she had known better, she would never have allowed Lolita to sacrifice for her. Lolita says make it worth it… hook up with Damian and fight for your happiness. Elisa finally agrees.
 
Act IV at the Procesadora… and Ramona’s hut by cenote
At La Anita procesadora, Dam arrives. Maru is worried Ingrid is still MIA and she has to find that report Ingrid was working on… Gael is waiting for Dam…
Gael: Just came to tell you I won’t muddle anymore your path with Elisa.  … why the change of mind? Yesterday you said you would fight for her… I have accepted that it is no use, because she loves you… how are you sure of that?... she told me. I am only going to warn you. You better make her happy. She deserves it.        DamTheMan lets go a sweet smirk/smile once Gael leaves…
 
Padre Loopy visits Ramona… this scene is very funny… Padre Loopy visibly uncomfortable with all the ‘hangings’ at Ramona’s place (the aloe vera and herbs hanging upside down)  LOL Ramona asks ‘what saint brought you here?’  Padre came to talk about Pal… Don’t say I am a gossip.. but we gotta talk. Paloma is a bit misguided… RaMona thinks he is talking about Dr Tovar so she says Pal is incapable of any wrong doing… Did she tell you? (oh my, that hat of Padre’s is getting a workout from nervous padre’s hands).. yes, of course. Of course BeGoneYa came to give me her version. (Padre confused, even scratches his hair/head, turns out he came to talk about gossip page 3 but Ramona is spilling gossip page 5 of the Ermita Enquirer)  .. Padre now uses the hat as a hand fan… (phew! I thought that was the end of the hat!) ‘ you don’t know how much it worries me that because of that fast mouth woman, the name of my granddaughter will be the talk of the town!! They could say anything about me! That I am a witch! That I am nutsy! But not of my granddaughter!!’
Padre asks Ramona to calm down… How could I keep quiet?! It is not fair!! you know how easy it is to screw someone’s reputation, and how hard it is to rebuild it!... Padre says we are on time to do damage control… Ramona says thank you for taking my ranting, had to release with someone. Did you come to tell me something else?... Nope, nope! That was it.. yeah, that was it! (LOL!!) Ramona insists Padre takes the tea for the nerves, Padre accepts gladly.
 
Back At Procesadora, Maru comes to DamTheMan’s office to tell him Elisa is there to see him. Dam almost leaps around Maru with a smile on his face, Maru giggles glad about SOMETHING going right around here!
 
E: I came to tell you I accept the contract to help her raise the greenhouse in my fields.
(Right now for all he cares, she could be trying to give him a lesson on how to sew a quilt, or how to make habanero sauce, but he could care less, he is STARING at her and is in la-la land.)
E: Here it is. I signed it. sorry that it is a bit wrinkled (no more than Padre Loopy’s hat, girl!) I hope it doesn’t bother you.
D: Is that all you came here to tell me that?... Are you sure that was all you came for?
E: No… I came for something else too… (smooches… oh boy! that was a thing of beauty and passion)
 
Act V at the ONLY Centro de Salud in La Ermita … enter at your own risk
At Dr Tovar’s office, Sabrina comes to rant at Paloma, calling her a ho and a handful of other synonyms.
Inmundo comes out to yell at Sabrina defending Pal… Inmundo asks Sabrina to apologize to Pal. Sabrina rants Pal is the one who should appologize… Sabrina and Inmundo continue yelling at each other. Then Sabrina finishes nailing the wood with ‘I am ashamed to be your child’… She leaves.
Paloma says she better quit her job. Inmundo says no,  the only way to end this nonsense is to go tell my family the truth, that the woman I had an affair with was Nemo-Ho. It is not fair that they rant to her. Pal begs him not to.. the truth would also harm my friend Elisa. And that is not fair. So please don’t…
 
Back with the lovebirds at Procesadora… I love you Dam… Tell me again, please!. Tell me a thousand times!... I love you (bis 6 times) (they can’t keep their eyes and hands off each other’s face) an I don’t care who/what I have to face to be with you. I don’t care what may come… Me either, Elisa.. I am willing to face ANYTHING for you and will do ANYTHING… Anything!...(more smooches)  let’s get out of here… where?... somewhere where we can be alone. We have much to talk about. … but you have to work… even if I wanted to, I could not concentrate. (finally! He is smiling joyfully!... and another sweeeeeet smooch) lets go. Lets go. (they walk out holding hands. Gabino the snake comes out of hiding biting his bandana hand knuckle).
 
Act VI
At Cast-ILLON, Lolita is telling Jackie Chan look-alike about a suspicion of Carmina and her frequent appointments to the doctor to check on her ankle injury.  He does not find it so strange… Lola says she has a gut feeling (as in something is fishy about that situation)… door bell rings.. it is Kenya.. and Jackie Chan look-alike again changes gear and only has eyes and ears for Kenya… Kenya is here looking for Elisa to find Gael. JC Look-alike is headed to Cielo Abierto so he will see Gael there. Kenya sends her apt address with JC Look-Alike to tell Gael to go there to talk to her later. Kenya kisses him on cheek and he freezes (looking pretty dumb like a 10 year old just kissed by a celebrity girl singer on cheek)
At Procesadora, Gabino tells Paolo about the show he just missed, DamTheMan and Elisa, kissing and jolly walking away hand in hand … ) but Paolo is not interested in Elisa any longer. How about Kenya? … she arrived a couple weeks ago asking for you… that problem is gone, she left town… are you sure?
… What is your beef with her? .. nothin...
 
At Hacienda Harango., Tonita tells Alfie about the gossip about the Tovar split racing around town…. Tonita invites Alfie to go to town to find out the juicy details… Alfie acts all proper and brushes her off… phone rings. Its loyal dog Gabino reporting about Elisa and DamTheMan.  Surely she agreed to the contract, unless she meant to agree to much more than that, given that they left holding hands….
 
At Cast-ILLON, Gabino came to nag at LocaAunt… you are all alone, lola is at market, Elisa is with DamTheMan, your hubby is at fields… you will leave now and you will go back with your low-ranking girlfriend of yours… (he basically wants her to leave him and Irritat-Ing at the house in peace, so he brought her copies of the plane tickets to remind her he has her a__ where he wants her… see ya!)
Carmina destroys the copies…
 
Act VII
At Cast-ILLON fields, JC look-alike gives Gael Kenya’s address and message.
JCLA: What is your beef with Kenya?
G: What is your beef with my personal life?
JCLA: you tell me one second you are in love with Elisa… then you go out with this other girl.
G: its time for me to give up if I am not returned my feelings. And it is about time to leave Elisa behind and find my own life.
JCLA: Don’t give up so easily.
G: You say that because you live with a woman you don’t love and I don’t want to end up like that. And regarding Elisa… she deserves to be with the one she chooses. (Wow, that proved to be a bit too tough a statement/response for JCLA to ‘get’)
 
Lovebirds At Cenote. Get some cold icy drinks, you will need them… (ok, maybe not.. they are ‘talking’…)
E: I remember when we escaped.. spent the night together… I wanted to go to the ocean…
D: And I would have taken you if Gabino did not find us
E: I was so scared when he found us, and I was even more scared when he took us with your mom… I can still remember her exact words ‘you will leave la Ermita today, and will never see your dear Elisa again!’
D: True… you have such a good memory… (kiss)
E: maybe because even back then I realized I already loved you. Those words really hurt me. (kiss)
D: But as you can see, it doesn’t matter what my mom does to try to split us, we will be together forever. And that is exactly what I will tell her!
E: We need to take it easy, we need to wait a little for you to prepare your mom and I will with my dad.
D: I thought you were ready to face anything.
E: And I am, but… if we wait just a little while… it will be good for both of us… (kiss).. please…
D: You got me… but let it be clear it will be a short wait…
(they go on to play with the water… then diss the water, lets lock lips with our feet wet…)
 
Previews:
K: I have never been attracted to you as a man!
G: Then I don’t get it!! I don’t get it, Kenya!?
K: Gael, you and I are siblings!!
(Gael impactado, or rather anxious again! Poor Gael, it has been an emotional roller coaster ride for sure lately!)
Elisa and DamTheMan keep vowing to be together…
Alfie tells someone (Carm?) we have to do something!
Elisa and DamTheMan kiss goodbye, Gael watches and shares a dead stare with DamTheMan after.
Padre again scared about something.
Padre talking to Dam at church, Dam a bit worried, hand on forehead, is it his turn to have a headache??



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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Una Familia Con Suerte #253-254 Wed 5/16/12

Sorry folks, but my internet is down, and I don't feel up to typing the whole thing on my phone... Tomorrow, then. But this show was a doozy!

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El Talismán #76 Wed 5/16/12 The Truth is Out There and Blackmail is the Way To Her Heart

 

Today on El Talisman:

Cameela confronts her Mama, er the Gasbag about what Tonio just said. She hems and haws and finally admits she "helped" Tonio but had no direct poisoning of the pills. That was all Tonio's idea. (Look on the side bar about the quote of the one that holds the leg of the cow, is equally responsible with the one that kills the cow). Cameela says, so you tried to kill Pigorio? Now your a killer? (Note to Cameela: Move into El Tal and stay there, don't go back to the Toxic One and tell her you are dead to me.). Poor Cameela she can't get a break. Her Gasbag of a mother admits she bought the poison, cause Tonio gave her dinero, she did it, and now she is crying like a lake of tears.

Padre has come to see Pedro in the carcel. He tells Padre all about how Lucrazy is loca (like anyone in town thinks otherwise), that he was trying to save her from that burning inferno, but all she kept saying to Pedro was we are dying here together, and that she didn't care if they both died.

Pigorio and Doris are having a little convo. He is fit to be tied that that Pedro Ibarra has killed his Lucrazy, his only hija (You sure about that El Pig, the way you rutted around who knows how many other hijas and hijos you have running around, jus' sayin'), he is pithed off noone else is mad his only hija is dead. Especially Doris. She tells him to calm down already.

Fabi and Flor are in their room and Fabi tells Flor she knows her Daddio hates Army, she wishes she could stay with Flor at Alcatrash, but probably in a little while she will have to go to the boarding school. They mourn the loss of their Tia. Alberta comes to their room to let them know what Cameela is here to see their Papa. They are thinking it must be true he is wanting to marry Cameela. Alberts says so not true.

Army and Angel are still at the school. Army can't beleive that Pedro killed Lucrazy, he's such a good guy, no way. Angel gets to talking about his Mama and hopes she will be happy now that Manuel is in the picture. Who cares about El Viral anyway? (You got that right Angel).

Pedro meets with a lawyer, and the lawyer tells him he is culpable for killing Lucrazy and that he should take a deal. Pedro is like no way Jose, I am an innocent man and I didn't kill her and I am sticking by my story, come hell or high water. The lawyer isn't buying it, Pedro in essence fires him and the lawyer says well good luck to you but you will be in prison for many years.

Mariana and Manuel are at the hospital. Mariana tells Manuel that she is happy now she feels more like a sister to Pedro and that Cameela's and Pedro love is very grand. She just wants to get her memory back so she can move on with her life. Manuel tells Mariana he has to get to work, so Mariana says work for realz, or concentrating on Maria? Dr. Raul comes upon them and tells them that Pedro has been arrested for killing Lucrazy. They are astounded.

 

Now we have The Pig and Panchito and they have come to, wait for it, El Capitan's office. The Pig wants to exact his brand of justice on Pedro for killing his ONLY HIJA, which means the Pig killing Pedro with his bare ham hocks, er, his bare hands. El Capitan tells him we will not have this in my police force. He lets the Pig know he is investigating and it isn't completed yet. He tells the Pig you know she tried to kill Pedro before, right, right? He tells Pigorio to go on home now. He keeps insisting that Pedro killed his hija. El Capitan tells him, oh by the way, do you know we are still investigating what happened with Mariana, you know the pregnant woman who lost the baby due to a beating, and then promply disappeared? Pigorio's bacon is curling around the edges and he says, oh, she's here? El Capitan tells him, yes siree bob, she's down in the carcel visiting Pedro. He tells the Pig, as a matter of fact, why don't you stay and you can talk to her yourself. The Pig is so not down with that, he uses the lame excuse he has to go to the doctor, so sorry so sad can't stay. El Capitan asks him what are you afraid of? hmmm. El Capitan is insisting he meet Mariana. Why don't you want to meet her? He turns it around on El Capitan and tells him Pedro will pay for killing his one and only hija! Panchito and the Pig leave. El Capitan is shaking his head. The Pig and Pancho walk out of the office and see Mariana, but she doesn't see them. Panchito pulls the Pig around the corner so Mariana can't see him. The Pig has left he building with Panchito and now they are in the Pig's truck. The Pig is worried Mariana will get her memory back. Panchito tells him he will be by his side for better or worse. Pig says lets go, I don't like being near Mariana.

Mariana has high tailed it to the carcel to see Pedro. Mariana knows why he is there, and he tells her he is innocent, he didn't do it. She beleives him. He tells her Tonio lied about everything to the popo's and now they think he did it. He tells her again he is innocent. She tells him she beleives him. She says she will help him anyway she can. He tells her Cameela is very upset about what has gone down. He tells Mariana he has to find a way to prove his innocence. He is looking for a new lawyer. He tells her that El Capitan would like to have a word with her before she leaves.

The Beltbuckle and Lucrazy are in the deserted cabana on Alcatrash. She is bored silly, I knew she would be, she is getting the cabin fever. The Beltbuckle tells her to chill out. About this time Alberta calls Tonio and says he has company and to come on back, guess who it is viewerville, on the count of three, that's right, Cameela.

Tracy and Cameela are talking in the living room of Alcatrash. Tracy can't beleive that Cameela is there. What are you doing here? Are you crazy? Cameela tells Tracy what the Gasbag did, and she did it for (we all know what she did it for, dinero. Tracy is like O M Gee. Tonio comes in and tells Tracy to Largate. He lays it flat out for Cameela, either you marry me or your blessed mother (oh, come on now, you don't have a clue do you? Well of course not you never did) or she goes to prison for many years. The Beltbuckle tells her and oh, by the way, it has to be this weekend. She stands her ground and says he is loca, she doesn't love him and she won't do it. She tells him you are obsessed with me, my heart belongs to Pedro. He grabs Cameela by the face and neck and squeezes her. She is yelling at him SUELTE MI. He warns her again her *blessed mother* will be going to prison for many years. Think about that. (Note to Beltbuckle- she hates her *blessed mother* as much as she hates your asshat, jus' sayin'.). I have to say here, Cameela stood her ground, she is so not intimidated by the Beltbuckle. He tells her to Callate, and that he will, wait for it, Make her love him, oh please, somebody take this dude out, Lucrazy are you listening? He keeps threating to send her mama to jail. He even tells Cameela he is going to call the police so they can investigate. She begs him not to do that. He gives her an ultimatum, either marry me this weekend, or suffer the consequences. He walks out and she is crying her eyes out. Tracy comes back in and tells her don't you do it. He's crazy. Tracy says it could be a lie what he said, but Cameela knows it's true. She doesn't want her mama to go to jail. She can't and won't marry the Beltbuckle (you go girl)! She tells Tracy is not going to think about marrying the crazed Beltbuckle. She is leaving. Doris comes in and basically none to gentley gets Tracy out of the room. Doris wants to know why Cameela is there. She lets Cameela know that this house will be, wait for it, ES MIA, (what is it with these people and this house? What is there some magic here, oil, a diamond mine, jus' sayin') and if Cameela marries Tonio she will regret it. Cameela stands right up to Doris and tells her she is never marrying that Beltbuckle and she doesn't love him. She says the Beltbuckle asked her but she told him no. Doris wants to know why? She doesn't tell her. Doris says well if that is the case I will help you. Say what? She admits to Cameela that she still loves Tonio. Cameela leaves and calls Padre and tells him she is ok. All at El Tal were worried when she didn't answer the phone. She tells him I'll answer all your questions when I see you later.

Army has gone home and catches his Gasbag of a mother at home. She had thought bubbled about her confrontation with Cameela and the Beltbuckle. He tells the Gasbag about Pedro being in jail and that the Beltbuckle is responsible for putting him there. That hopefully he won't be in jail a long time. The Gasbag then tells him she might be going to jail. She tells him why, and he wants to know if she really tried to kill the Pig? She says she helped Tonio for dinero, but the Beltbuckle actually tried to kill him,and besides Cameela won't let her go to jail. Well Army and his new avacadoes says oh, yeah like Cameela should sacrifice herself for you? Of course the Gasbag doesn't answer him.



Margo and Padre are talking about how they will get a new lawyer for Pedro. They meet with the new lawyer.

Liliana the woman from social services comes to see Pedro and she tells him no way no how you are ever adopting Santiago. Even if you are proved innocent, not happening. As a matter of fact, we are looking for new parents for him, punto. Adios, Senor Ibarra. Pedro is pithed.

Mariana goes to El Capitan's office and meets him. She says so Pedro told me you want to talk to me. She tells him how she doesn't remember any of her past and doesn't remember the Pig. El Capitan tells her the Pig is probably responsible for what happened to her. She tells him she had gone to El Tal with Cameela to see if she remembered anything, she didn't, and she also tells him she went to Alcatrash with Tonio, met Lucrazy and there were no memories there either. She tells El Capitan she doesn't remember a thing. She tells him how Pedro brought documents for her to see all her money from before is still in the bank. Meanwhile a guard has come for Pedro and tells him to come with him. They go to El Capitan's office and he meets with El Capitan and Mariana. He gives some papers to Mariana. I don't know if it is bail or adoption papers maybe for Santiago. Mariana also tells how Tonio lied to her about Pedro.

The Beltbuckle has gone back to the cabana, and the first thing Lucrazy asks if Cameela has consented to marrying him? He tells her he threatened to put her mama in prison. He tells Lucrazy that Cameela is different from other women and she drives him crazy. (Note to Beltbuckle- you are already crazy dude and not about love). Lucrazy isn't sure the plan will work. He tells her to be calm, and she says so now we wait? She is bored witless, not that she isn't already, jus' sayin'. The Beltbuckle has brought her a computer. He tells her she has to stay here. (Bet me she doesn't email somebody? This reminds me of Maria del Rosario from CS 09 except with better bennies jus' sayin').

Pedro has met with a new lawyer and the new lawyer is really good. He tells Pedro he has a good attitude and he will do everything in his power to prove Pedro didn't do this.

We have a Manuel sighting. He is ordering a pizza, evidently the doc can't cook. He is calling, wait for the product placement, Domino's pizza! He wants jalepenos and I don't know what else. (Note to Manuel: If you want to impress Maria, get a cookbook, start small and work your way up, jus' sayin").

Army and the Gasbag are still talking and he wants to know where Cameela is? The Gasbag tells him she went to see the Beltbuckle. Cameela comes in and tells them what the Beltbuckle said to her. El Virus, er the Gasbag, says so I'll go to jail unless you marry him? You'll marry him right, right? (Oh Dios Mio someone give her a really huge mug of sleepytime tea, can't stand the building up of the gas I am seeing) that headband of hers is tightening again and she begs and pleads to Cameela that she doesn't want to go to the carcel (hummm I think it would do her good, she would, MAYBE, see the error of her ways) and to forgive her PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE (Note to Cameela-tell her you are Dead to Me. Do not pass go, never collect any dinero ever again).

Tomorrow on El Talisman:

Tonio and Pigorio are fighting over what else? Alcatrash!

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