Sunday, June 17, 2012

Refugio Para el Amor #31-32 Fri 6/15/12 Dirty Little Secrets, Dirty Little Lies, and the The "Silent Partner"

 

Mexico City:

Poor Lucy, after being thrown out of Torreslanda, is walking down the street trying to balance that box of pots and her suitcase and is having a hard time doing it. She stops for the umpteenth time to adjust the box and suitcase and hears Sabina, the bruja, in her head telling her with this destino there is no forgivness. She wipes her eyes, and picks up her stuff, when out of the darkness she hears a voice. He asks her to wait, it is her first guardian angel. It is the chauffer from the Torreslanda's in his own car and he wants to offer her a ride to wherever she is going. She tries to decline, but he is insisting. He doesn't want her walking alone this time of night. He finally convinces her and she gets in car, thanking him profusely. The chauffer takes her to Violetta's. He asks if she is ok. He has brought the box of pots and her suitcase, what a gentleman. He doesn't want to leave her there, but she assures him her friend Violetta from back home, lives here as does Luci's own brother Lorenzo. The chauffer is worried, cause it's late and is it ok. She says it's fine cause they both work late and someone will be up. The chauffer tells her he hated what happened to her, and Luci says she considers him a friend. She thanks him again and he goes. Luci goes upstairs but noone is home, they are still at work. Serena is coming home from work and she is a nurse, for realz, guardian angel number 2. She wants Luci to come with her, but Luci says she'll wait outside for Violetta or Lorenzo to come home. Serena is insisting, when Dona Estella comes outside and she is insisting Luci come with her. Luci goes with Dona Estella and thanks Serena. When they get inside Luci tells Dona Estella what happened. Luci is very sleepy and Marianita has come out, and they are huddled on the sofa sleeping, so Dona Estella covers both of them up with a blanket and says both need their Mamas.



Rod is on the sofa in his room thinking about the almost wedding. Gala is in her apartment thinking the same. She is in her jammies, with her dress heaped around her, the veil is on the sofa, and her engagment ring is on her index finger. She is sobbing into the dress. Hot Bod Rod's cell phone rings and its Gala. She wants to know why he didn't marry her sorry ass, I mean, her. She loves him soooo much, he isn't saying anything. Gala is going on and on about how she lurrrves Hot Bod for realz,doesn't understand how this happened, blah blah. He tells her he is truly sorry, but he and Gala can never be. Then she starts in on Luci. She did this didn't she, it's all because of her??? Rod still isn't answering her. She accuses him of being in love with an ordinary girl (Note to Gala: Luci is worth ten times if not more of you). Gala wants her clothes and things back from the apartment. Rod says go ahead, leaving Mexico tomorrow, won't be around. Gala says she's leaving too. He does admit he loves Luci I think. Anyway, she is tells him this is like a nightmare, her dreams are ruined and why oh why did you do this to me???? She is rolling on the floor with that dress, crying into the veil and sobs her little black heart out. Rod is punching the pillows on the sofa, he is highly pithed off.

Claudio is in his office, with the coffee pot, to keep him awake going thru files on his desk.

Rosa, looking like the hell, is putting hand sanitizer on her hands, when Conny comes in. Conny wants to know what she is still doing up, and Rosa tells her that she threw Luci out this very night. Conny is not happy, she says you threw this poor girl out, who is alone in the middle of the night. What is wrong with you? Rosa uses the excuse she just had to do it, cause Luci bewitched and beguiled Rod and Pato and she just had to go. Conny lets her have it. She says Rod is an adult, doncha know and makes his own decisions and she has no right to make them for him (AMEN to that sister). She is obsessed with controlling the family. Conny asks her if Rod wanted to get rid of her, Rosa says no, but Luci is a bad, bad girl, just cause Gala told her so, and hey she's known for the truth, right, right???? Conny tells her she will never get forgiveness, not even by the church, for what she has just done. (Yay, Conny)

Aldo and Vicky are at Inferno having a great time. Coral (Violetta) is singing again, not bad I must say, and Stalker Guy (we finally know his name) Marcial is right in the front row listening to her. Aldo and Vicky are holding hands, awww! Lastra and Ivan are also there, keeping an eye on Aldo, who they think is a Torreslanda, and they remark the guys are really into Coral. Ivan goes back to the bodega (I think it is really the liquor room of the club, that Lorenzo guards) and Lorenzo is back there asleep. Ivan wakes him up, tells him no sleeping on the job, and wants him to grab a bottle of whiskey and come with him, and to be discreet. Ivan and Lorenzo come into the casino and see Aldo and Vicky. Aldo comes over to say hi to Lorenzo and Violetta is now off the stage and Marcial is waiting for her. He tells her he is very in love with her. Ivan comes over and tells Lorenzo to get back to work. Vicky's phone rings, and its Max. Aldo wants to know who it is, and Vicky lies and says it's her Dad. Aldo says you better take that, it may be important. While Vicky is on the phone, Aldo excuses himself to go to the loo, and wanders around looking, until he finds Lastra's office. Aldo goes in and notes all the cameras and the computer just sitting unattended on the desk. Meanwhile Lastra and Ivan are in the casino and Lastra thinks Aldo is all into Coral (Violetta). They are in front of Polo while saying this and he is listening. Meanwhile Aldo, the little hacker, is trying to hack that computer on Lastra's desk. He is having trouble, but keeps on trying. Meanwhile, Vicky has answered the phone and Max wants to know where she is at. She says El Inferno with friends. He isn't happy. Vicky, the eternal doormat, tells him if he doesn't like it, she'll call and taxi and come running. Max hangs up. Vicky is now looking around for Aldo, and Lastra is watching her and wondering where the heck Aldo is. Lastra comes over and asks her, she said he went to the loo, and should be back shortly. Lastra is on the way to his office, rut roh, and gets a drink spilled on him. The girl is sooo sorry and tries to wipe it away, while Lastra bitches his suit is Italian, doncha know. Anyhoo, Aldo is still trying to get into the computer. After the umpteenth time, Aldo is in like Flynn, on that computer. He sees that Lastra is right outside the door of the office. Lastra is giving Violetta grief about something. Lastra goes into his office and sees on the security camera that Vicky is alone looking around. Aldo has hidden in the room watching Lastra. Lastra makes a phone call, and you won't beleive to who??? Can you guess??? It's the silent partner, also known as Max to us. Max is witching about the sales, and the money coming from Inferno. He wants more. He also wants the sales reports. I got the impression that Lastra doesn't know that is silent partner is Max Torreslanda. Ivan comes into the office at this point, and Lastra chews him a new one for the sales. They both leave and Aldo comes out of hiding. Lastra is bothering Vicky again looking for Aldo, and he sends Ivan to find him. Aldo pops up behind him, says he's back and Lastra goes. Vicky is mad he left her like that, and Aldo calls for the cheque.

Poor deluded Rosa has taken sleeping pills just to sleep, but Max is wide awake and calls Vicky.

Marcial has walked Violetta home. He is really into her so much, he wants her to be his novia. Well Violetta is hesitant at first, but he makes the case of how much he is in love with her, adores her blah blah, and she is concerned she hasn't known him that long. Anyway, she accepts and seems happy.

It's morning now and Rosa has Mati and Frigid the Rigid in the library and orders them not to say anything about Luci or where she is. Frigid is down with that, but not Mati who argues a little, but gives in. Rosa will tell everyone her lying version, of Luci just going away, not what really happened. Rosa stresses she doesn't want Pato or Hanna to know. She tells Mati that she will give Luci's pay to her, to bring to Luci, and Mati is coy and says well I'll have to go to my cousin Estella and she MAY know where Luci is. Rosa is liking that. Frigid is brown nosing Rosa all the way, especially about never mentioning Luci's name in the house evaa.

Conny and Max are at the golf course, having a little breakfast and talking about Rosa. Max wants to know from her, the real reason Rosa threw Luci out like that. Conny has to tell him, Rosa felt the botched wedding was all Luci's fault. Max tells her Rod in fact didn't marry Gala because of Luci, but doesn't agree with Luci being thrown onto the street at night like that. Rosa is too overprotective of the family, ya think?? Oscar comes by, and Max tells Conny he wants to be alone with Oscar to discuss some business. Conny goes. Oscar informs Max that someone has gotten into the company files and that the stuff that is missing, pertains to the time Claudio was with the company. Max is pithed. He wants to stop more files from going missing, but Oscar tells him, too late they are all gone.

Meanwhile, Luci has called Claudio and tells him about the latest Lastra threat and about the meet. Claudio tells her to wait right there, he is coming over. Luci is having breakfast with Estella and Marinita, and I want to know what that purplish stuff is, that Estella was dishing up. It almost looked like black beans, but it was purple, anyone know what that is?

Claudio goes to his office and Norma his assistant is there, checking into those "missing files" and she has discovered that Max Torreslanda owns or is part owner of Inferno. Claudio is like well,well very interesting. Meanwhile Aldo is on the laptop at home, and I think he has figured out the same thing.

Rod and Frigid encounter each other and Rod is rude to her, wants to know where Mati is, he goes upstairs. Rosa is feeding Pato at the moment, and he asks where Luci is. Rosa is saved by the bell, cause Rosa doesn't have to tell her dirty little lie, Rod comes in and tells them he is going to Miami. Rosa is barely civil to Rod. Rod tells Pato to continue with the therapy, Rosa had informed Pato that the architect was coming to do some renovations so Pato would have better access in the house. Rosa is being very cold towards Rod. Rod says bye and goes and Rosa starts in about how Rod could have been so happy with Gala, and he left her at the altar like that. Pato defends his brother and says he made his decision, leave it alone. Rod is now in Hanna's room, waking her up. He wants Hanna to talk to Luci. Hanna says I'll get her cellphone number from Melissa and then call you with it, so you can talk to her yourself. They still don't know that Rosa threw her out in the street in the middle of the night. Hanna has now seen that Rod is in love with Luci, she is very happy. Hot Rod is so down with Hanna getting that number for him, and he tells her bye.

Luciana has gone back to Violetta's and discovers that Fabian, Ariche's Papa, and Ariche have come to pay Luci a little visit. Lorenzo is there too and there is a happy little reunion. They tell Luci that Don A is back in Het Het, so they came for a little visit. Violetta has gotten up and Luci informs them she lost her job at the Torreslandas.

Hanna is on the phone with Rod. Hanna wants to go to Estella's to talk to Luci or wants Rod to, but he says no, just get her cell number.

Het Het:

Magda is walking down the street, when she is accosted by Don A. He tells her Copio told him what Magda was looking for. He is pithed, and tells her to stop trying to sniff out those papers already. Magda informs Don A that everyone in town knows he is swindling Paz and that he went to the D. F. for Luci. He tells Magda to tell Paz to expect a visit from him and to go. Don A has come to Magda's looking for Paz. Don A is being rude and handling the veggies on Magda's side board. He basically threatens Paz and Magda and tells them Copio spilled the beans about what Magda came looking for, Paz is nevaa gettin' back those deeds and that house es Mio. He said something else, I think about someone dying, and Paz and Magda are very upset. Paz is terrified and wants her house back.

Mexico City:

Mati is paying a visit to Estella and tells her about poor little Luci. Mati tells Estella that Luci is in fact,Claudio and Aurora's daughter, the one he thinks is dead. She says Rosa is an infeliz. Yay, Mati. Mati says poor Luci such a beautiful girl, is Claudio's "dead" hija.

On her daily visit to Padre Honesto, in order to releive her guilt and " suffering" she is wanting forgivness again. She tells him what transpired and how violent and mean she as to Luci, quelle surprise I must say, and the girl just provokes her, and of course Luci is to blame for the botched wedding. Padre asks her well, why do you think that? Rosa says cause Gala told me so, that's why. Well, Padre, bless his honest heart, tells her did you ask your son, why he didn't marry? Rosa goes on a rant about how Pato is in love with this girl too, and she is nothing, nothing to the family. Padre is getting madder by the second by what Rosa has done, and he doesn't understand why she did this to another human being, and now she wants forgiveness, to ease her troubled mind. Well Padre, has had enough. He flat out tells Rosa he is not going to forgive her until she asks forgiveness of those she has hurt, Claudio and Luci, and then and only then will he forgive her. Right on Padre.

Luci has come to see Estella and Mati is there. The phone rings and it is Paz and Mati has answered the phone. She doesn't give her name, but tells Paz she is the cousin of Estella and hands the phone off to Luci. Luci says that Ariche and Fabian are there, they made it safely to the D. F. and to have her Mama Paz send those deeds to her, so she can give them to Claudio. Paz says she will, the phone is passed to Magda and then Luci passes it off to Violetta who tells her Mama she now has a novio.

Hot Bod Rod is about to get on the plane for Miami and calls Hanna looking for Luci's cell #. Hanna has gotten it and texts him the number. He thanks her and she says if you talk to her, let me know. Rod calls, but Luci has left the phone at Violetta's and it just rings and rings. Rod is not happy. Rod is calling Luci again. At some point she answers the phone, but I think she hangs up on him.

Pato is crunching some numbers on his big screen in his room, when Aldo comes in partially blocking the screen and talking a mile a minute, while Pato tries to get him to move so he can see the screen. Aldo wants to be a bigger part of the business and not a gopher. He's like to open a club one day, like Inferno. Pato is just looking at him. He tells Pato he really likes Vicky. Pato asks him if he is crazy. He says that is Jeronimo's daughter, and Papa won't like that. Aldo tells Pato he wants to be Vicky's novio. Aldo asks Pato if he ever had a novia? Pato says lots of girls before the accident but noone special, except there was this one girl, he really took a shine to, just before his accident. Of course, he is talking about Luci, but Aldo doesn't know that, but that is impossible now. Aldo tells him to get better and find her. Aldo also committed a faux pas with Pato, about running around the house I think, and then catches himself. I have to say here, I know this was a faux pas, but Aldo doesn't think of Pato as being disabled at all, jus' sayin'. Aldo keeps trying to call Vicky but no answer. Finally he gives up and tells Pato, he may not have the head for school, but he does for business. Pato is looking at him like, alrighty then. He tells Pato he wants to be, wait for it, an impressario! Aldo says Lorenzo and Pato could work with him, lol.



Luci is meeting with Claudio. She has Ariche and Marianita with her, and they are all eating big, huge lollipops. Claudio asks about the deeds, and Luci says that her Mama Paz found them and come to find out, the lands were in Galindo's name and the house in Paz'. Claudio tells Luci as soon as she gets them to bring them to him and he will investigate and get justice for Paz. Now Claudio wants to know about Lastra. She tells him about the phone call she got at the Torreslandas. Speak of the devil, the phone rings and its Lastra. Claudio listens in. Lastra tells Luci he wants that meet in the park and hangs up. Claudio tells Luci not to worry, he will go in her stead. He also tells her, he is going to get rid of this number for her and get a new one, so Lastra doesn't call her again. They leave. Claudio takes Luci to the cell store, changes her number and tells her, not to give her number out to anyone and to make sure Lorenzo understands this, since he is working for the enemy. Not really but you get the gist. Luci and Claudio and the kids get back to Violettas. Luci thanks Claudio for everything he has done for her. He makes her promise not to give her new number out to anyone, also about the deeds, and that he is meeting Lastra. She tells him to be very careful and before she goes upstairs with the kids, they say bye to him and then Luci gives him the blessing. He is surprised but very happy she did this.

Meanwhile, Frigid the Rigid still has that letter from L. She is going to figure out who this L is and then runtelldat to Rosa.

Of course, while poor Aldo wants to be Vicky's novio, Vicky is en flagrante with Max. Vicky's cell phone rings and it is Aldo but for some reason it flashes on Aldo's phone that it is Max's number, I think. Aldo calls again, Max this time and gets him. Says oh, sorry thought I called someone else and how the heck are ya? Aldo says nothing important, after Max impatiently wants to know what he wants. Aldo hangs up and calls Vicky. She is too busy with the en flagrante to answer the phone.

The revenge comittee, Rosa, Julie and Gala are having a little meeting. Rosa has gone to see them in person. Julie and Gala are like this botched wedding will be in all the papers and it will be sooo bad, boo hoo. Rosa has told them she got rid of Luci and Gala is sooo happy he won't be near that domestica. Now he will just go look for her. Rosa says no, Rod left Mexico. Gala wants to hire someone or wants Rosa to hire someone to investigate Luci and her family and to have them watched. Gala lurrvvess her Hot Bod Rod with total mi alma, oh right, and her love is sooo strong. Now Julie has the idea that Mati might know something, but Rosa nixes that idea. They aren't happy with that.

Lorenzo, Fabian, Marcial and Violetta are all together, discussing Lastra. Violetta says he is a horrible man. Marcial tells Violetta he isn't into the casino, just into her. Luci has come back and Mati and Estella are there. She tells them she got a new number for her cell but isn't giving it out. She wants no more calls from Lastra or Rod, or any Torreslanda for that matter. She especially doesn't want Pato or Rod to know where she is. Mati has brought Luci her money for the time she worked at the Torreslandas. Luci refuses to take it, she wants nothing from that woman. Mati and Estella try to talk her into taking it saying she rightfully earned this money. Luci refuses. Mati takes it and puts it away. Mati tells her Pato has no idea about what happened. Luci feels bad for him and Mati says she can tell Pato she saw Luci and that Luci is fine. Luci forbids it. (Like Aldo won't be able to figure this out, jus' sayin'). She never wants to be insulted by Gala or Rosa evaa again.

Hot Bod Rod is finally in Miami. He calls Hanna. Hanna gives him some number for Luci and of course Frigid the Rigid, has her ear right to the door listening in. Hanna is telling Hot Bod Rod that maybe he can talk Luci into coming back. Frigid is still outside that door and says that muchacha will nevaa darken the door of Torreslanda evaa.

Lastra is waiting for Luci who he is calling an infeliz. Then Claudio shows up. Lastra is not pleased. Lastra seems to think that Claudio has a little something, something goin' on with Luci, but Claudio sets him straight and tells him he is Luci's lawyer. He tells Lastra to quit harrassing Luci. Lastra says he will do whateva he wants, when he wants to, and besides there is no proof. Claudio tells him au contraire, you have a history of harrassing this poor girl. He tells Lastra he will be in a boatload of trouble. Besides Lastra now demands a personal meet with Luci. Claudio nixes that idea. Lastra is so not hearing what Claudio is saying. He tells Lastra to leave Luci in paz and he leaves. Lastra is not going to listen to anything Claudio has to say. He WILL have this personal meeting, come hell or high water.

Pato and Hanna are together and Pato wants to know if Hanna got ahold of Luci he wants to talk to her. She tells Pato that's funny cause Rod wants to talk to her too, and she isn't answering, and Pato wants to know if she would talk to Pato. Hanna says Rod is in love with Luci and wouldn't it be great if they got married. She would make a better sister-in-law than Gala anyday. Pato says that would never happen, cause Rosa the snob, would never allow that, oh, no, anything but that. Hanna differs with Pato and tells him Rod has the character to stand up to Rosa (yeah right, he's got sand in his pants, jus' sayin'). Anyhoo, Pato tells Hanna that Luci should be finishing school and getting her education and she shouldn't be working as a maid, she is very smart. Hanna says Luci is so nice and Pato cares for her too.

Violetta has come upstairs and is talking about how in love she is with Marcial. She asks Luci about that, and Luci says he seems like an alright guy. Violetta goes on and on about being in love with Marcial and how happy she is. She asks Luci about herself. Estella comes up and gets Ariche and Marinita so Luci and Violetta are by themselves. She tells Luci you left cause Rod preferred you. Luci tells Violetta she was surprised Rod didn't marry Gala and how this is all her fault. Violetta tells her no, not your fault. Just because he isn't your class means nothing. Luci says it is an impossible love. Violetta tells her don't let Rosa or Gala evaa insult you again. Violetta says that Hot Rod will come looking for Luci or her name isn't Violetta. Luci says if he does that she will go back to Het Het and never, evaa come back.

Rosa has come back to Torreslanda's now and Frigid informs her Max is in the library. Max wants to know where she has been. She says with Padre Honesto, and he wants to know, all day? No, she says she met with Gala and Julie about how this whole fiasco will be in all the papers, doncha know, and that Gala and Julie want to know where Luci is. Max says he has his own problems and that he saw Claudio and Claudio wants venganza, I mean his honor back, and Rosa reminds Max that Claudio is a brilliant lawyer, but Max says he has to get the proof and Claudio doesn't have that, (Don't count on that, jus' sayin'). Rosa isn't liking that. Hanna comes in and wants to know if she is interrupting anything? She wants to know what is going on and where is Luci? Rosa blows her cool (While Frigid Rigid is behind the door listening of course) and informs Hanna that Luci no longer works for the Torreslandas, don't tell Pato, and never mention the name of Luci in this house again. Ole Frigid is gleefully having a happy day behind that door. Hanna is shocked and upset, and Max is giving Rosa the stinkeye.

Mati has come back to Torreslanda and Lastra followed her. He is still trying to get that personal meet with Luci, come hell or high water. He doesn't see her of course, so he calls her cell, which when answered says, "The number you have dialed is no longer in service", Hah take that evil Lastra. He is pithed.

Mati has come in the house and returns Luci's money to Rosa. She tells Rosa, that Luci would not accept it. Rosa mocks Luci by saying, oh how dignified. She takes the money by the edge of the envelope, she is treating it like it has cooties. Mati leaves and Rosa is using the hand sanitizer again to get rid of the cooties.

Frigid the Rigid, is calling Gala of course with the latest chisme, and it is important for Gala to listen. She could get Hot Bod Rod back with it. Gala is all ears. She tells her some anonymous man sent Luci a letter, which Frigid of course kept, and it was only signed with an L. She reminds Gala that Hot Rod Bod is well still Hot for Luci. Gala decides to listen.

Hanna has called Rod in Miami and Rod wants to know if Hanna has talked to Luci. Hanna has to tell Rod that not only hasn't she talked to Luci, noone knows where she is, and she doesn't work there anymore. Rod is like QTH.

Advances:

Hanna goes to see Luci and wants her to come back. Luci tells her no, and to leave her in paz.

Gala shows up in Miami and Hot Bod Rod is looking delcious in a towel, oh, um, and she'll just die without Hot Bod Rod.

Copio is walking down the streets of Het Het, with a broken leg and busted up face when Magda and Paz see him. They are very upset to see his condition.

Max talks to Pato.

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Saturday, June 16, 2012

El Talismán #98 Fri 6/15/12 Bodas and a BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! (Complete)


Old sins cast long shadows. M Hercule Poirot


La Joint Boda de Sarita, Gabriel, Genoveva and Tomás:

Something besides a boda is up at El Tal.  There is “The Plan.”  The living room is all decorated, the guests are gathered.  Tracy has talked Panchito into taking her to the wedding and they arrive last.  She’s in a sharp looking aqua dress and he’s in a fancy Piggorio look-alike red shirt and blue jeans.  Antonio is also in blue jeans, Camila in a shiny beige off the shoulder, gathered front, tight fitting dress (no baby bump yet).  If Lucrazy weren’t crazy, she’d be a natural recruit for the next formal wear catalog from Talbot’s.  She looks gorgeous in her red, floor length, bosom-revealing gown.  A real knockout.  Pedro is tieless but not clueless.  There are whisperings and shifty looks among Pedro, Margarito, Antonio and Valentín.  Lucrazy is alert and watchful—she’s not going to let Pedro out of her sight.  Camila asks permission of Antonio if she can go up and see the brides.  Obviously Antonio would be embarrassed to say no in front of all these people, so he accedes to her request.  Once upstairs, Camila relaxes with her friends.  The brides know of “the plan” but wonder why Camila doesn't just call the police already.  Camila pins Sarita's hair and both she and Geno thank Camila profusely.  Downstairs, Pedro and Antonio engage in very small talk.  When is the sorpresa, asks Antonio.  Soon, answers Pedro.  Antonio suggests that maybe it’s time for Pedro to marry Lucrecia.  Padre talks to Pedro alone.  He must be in on “the plan,” too, since he warns Pedro to please act natural around Antonio so he doesn’t suspect anything.  Padre is ready to begin.

Upstairs, Camila starts out the door only to be surprised by Lucrecia, who came up to get some papers or something for the Padre.  She warns her to Stay Away from Pedro.  She knows Camila is still in love with Pedro and married or not, she’s a threat to her snagging Pedro, so Stay Away or Else.  Camila gives as well as she gets.  She tells Lulu to ask Pedro why he doesn’t love her.  It’s none of Camila’s business.  Sarita and Geno give a couple of good yanks to their very elegant strapless wedding gowns and touch up their hair with a special Suave product within reach and they are ready, too.  They leave the can of spray stuff on the bureau for a camera close-up and exit.  Pedro comes up to escort the brides down.  He’ll be walking Sarita up to Gabe and Geno’s father (we guess) is doing the honors for her.  Tracy is crying the hardest.  Panchito apparently told her that if he had a ring on him right now, he’d ask her to be his novia.  She’s in heaven dreaming of her own boda now.  Lucrazy is daydreaming of her wedding day to Pedro.  Pachelbel’s Canon accompanies the brides.  This is a double wedding and both brides are beautiful.  Gabe is definitely in love with his bride.  No buyer’s remorse here after all.  Tomás tries to take a peek down Geno’s décolletage as she recites her vows.  No buyer’s remorse here either.  The vows go on without incident and they are pronounced husbands and wives.  Everyone claps as the couples get to kiss.  Now it’s time to paaaarty.  Champagne flows.

O.M.Gawd, a new character shows up!  On the last day?!  She must have won the drawing to be an extra at the wedding with a few lines of dialog from among the thousands of entries.  It’s Carmen.  Sarita does her excited mouse squeak.  Carmen hugs the Padre, so she must be a graduated orphan.

Antonio and Pedro cross paths again.  Antonio clues Pedro in that he knows the baby Camila is expecting is Pedro’s, but it won’t do Pedro any good because as her husband, he’ll claim the child as his.  He’s planning on taking Camila far away to raise the child together.  With a sly look on his face, Pedro clues Antonio in that that is why there are such things as DNA tests.  Antonio says, ha-ha, you’ll have to find her first (Antonio is quite delusional, no?  He wanted El Alca all for himself, yet he’s going to move away so Pedro can’t order a DNA test on him.  Hmmm.)


In Piggorio’s Gloomy Room-1:

The Pig is in bed, hog-tied (sort of) and in comes Lucas.  The Pig doesn't speak or move, but says Dios Mio in his head. He can't believe Lucas is there. Lucas sees he’s still alive, Oh, Happy Day (not really).  Lucas and Doris gloat over his condition and discuss their plans for him as if he couldn’t hear them, while of course wanting him to hear it all.  Doris can't wait to be Mrs. Pig Negrete and all that entails. She tells Lucas she wants a legal marriage license now, not a fake one.  After The Pig is gone, Antonio might check the documents and discover they are fake.  She doesn’t want to risk it.  The drawback is, that paralyzed he cannot sign the marriage license.  Lucas can arrange that but brings up payment.  It’s going to cost her a million dollars, chump change for what this rancho is worth.  Doris’ head is swimming with dollars, once she is married to Piggorio, of course.  No prob—they call Jaime, Doc-Not, who happens to be visiting Rita and Rennie.  The conspirators tell Jaime they need something to reverse the paralysis, even if it’s temporary, so he can sign stuff and say Acepto.  Jaime says he can lower the dose temporarily so the Pig is able to move and speak, and then up the dose and he'll be dead in days.  Jaime says he’ll be right over.


Elvira Moves Out of María’s Place:

Armando and Elvira apparently were not invited to the wedding, so they are together at María’s.  She’s musing about her own, very own, new apartment.  Army is, say what??  Yes, she’s got Rennie’s apartment.  All she has to do is pay off a couple of months left on the mortgage with money she’s going to get from Antonio.  Her son does not believe she’s back to trusting that Rennie nor going to get money from the Ant.  Elvira swears that this time it will be different, there’s no reason for Rennie to try to cheat her since he’s leaving for Florida today and the Ant has already promised the money.  Elviral invites Army to come live with her, but he’d rather stay where he is.  He’s sure Rennie is deceiving her.  No, no absolutely not, Elvira replies, she’s checked it out and it seems to check out (honey what exactly did you check out, tell us).  If he wants to stay at María’s, that’s his business, she’s going to go pack.  Elvirus is now ready to roll and her parting conversation doesn’t go well.  She tells Army he’s so ungrateful.  He reminds her that if it weren’t for Tía and Angel, who knows what would have become of them.  ElVirulent thinks he’s exaggerating.  She warns her son that Angel could run him off any time.  He only used you to get to Florencia Negrete.  Cara impactada.

Army lays it on hard.  He says she’s been everything *except* a mother.  The lady protests that all she ever did was give him her love, helped him become a man, have him help her—his mother—and his sister Camila.  He tells her not to bring Camila into this conversation.  Hasn’t she realized yet, that of all the things she did to her family, the worst was that she ruined Camila’s life?  For that he will never forgive her.  She can’t believe that her children didn’t value everything she did for them.  SLAM goes the door.  Elvira is so outta there with her little red suitcase.


M&M visit El Capitán:

Manuel and María have arrived together at the police station to ask El Capitán how the investigation into Mariana’s murder is going.  Well, El Capo says it’s still on-going.  Manuel is not convinced they’re doing enough.  It’s not right to set aside the death of an innocent woman.  El Capo is a little offended.  He has no intention of setting the investigation aside.  The deed will not go unpunished.  They tried to get a statement from Don Gregorio, but unfortunately, he’s ill and couldn’t do it.  Manuel doesn’t believe a word of that.  El Capo assures him it’s true.  He has suffered an embolia (we keep thinking they are calling it an imbroglio—how fitting) and can’t speak—and as a doctor, Manuel should know what that involves.  Manuel is cara impactada.


R&R Vacate To Vacation in FL:

On cue, Jaime arrives at Rita and Rennie’s to see their bags are packed, ready to leave on a jet plane.  But first, Renato wants his share of the money Antonio is going to pay them.  He can’t, he hasn’t been paid yet, but promises to send the money to Rennie (says one grifter to another).  Rennie says he’ll be in touch and send him his contact information.  He and Rita want to be kept informed on what’s going on with the Negretes—there’s a lot of money in play—oh, and include the bank account number where he’s depositing the check.  Jaime gets the phone call from Lucas and skedaddles.  As Rita and Rennie head for the door, Elvira shows up, pithed because they were supposed to have been long gone.  Renato tells her off—she’s the worst thing that ever happened to him in his life.  ‘Til Never, Elvira.  The two make it to the airport and through security (we bet the TSA guys fought over who would give Rita a pat down) and are waiting for their flight to Florida, (land of moneyed widows).  They chuckle over what Elvira will discover about the apartment. 


In Piggorio’s Gloomy Room-2:

Doris and Lucas are now snuggling on the bed, right in front of the Pig. Lucas has his arm around Doris and they are just rubbing it in to the Pig. The Pig doesn't move, just stares at them, and swears venganza.  The drug Jaime has promised might not take effect until night time and Doris is concerned about Antonio, Camila and Florencia being in the house.  She’ll take a chance, though.  Jaime finally arrives with the poison-reversal dosage; he can’t just pick it up at the corner drugstore, don’tcha know.  Oh, and who, btw, is going to pay him?  Doris will—after she inherits the place (and Jaime is apparently ok with this).  Jaime says by this evening the Pig will be able to move. Piggorio is now pretending to be asleep.  Lucas makes Jaime stay with the Pig.  Doris can’t be expected to watch him all by herself.  He is to call Lucas as soon as he gets some speech and movement back, capish?   Doris is like finally she will be the Dueña of Alcatrash.  She has a strange gleam in her eyes, and throws her arms open wide, bwwwhhhhhaaa.


“The Plan”:

Festivities at the boda are on high.  Pedro slips away; Margarito starts moving toward the exit;  Antonio and Valentín are alerted; Camila looks suspicious; Lucrecia starts to follow Pedro, but Antonio stops her and brings her back telling her to keep an eye on Camila and for no reason let her leave the house.  He’s going to see where Pedro went—and no, don’t worry, he’s not going to do anything to Pedro.  Val delays Margo from leaving by saying, long time, no see, amigo, why not have a trago together.  Margo declines. 

Pedro is racing across the lawn toward El Alcatrash, Margarito chases after him.  Margaro thinks he’s nuts to do this alone.  Pedro says he has to.  Margaro returns to the reception and tells Lulu that Pedro went to get more champagne.  Pedro makes into Val’s office, separate from the main building and gets down to business.  He forces the cabinet door open, where he is sure the vials are and holds them up in triumph.  Oh, oh, here comes Antonio through the door behind Pedro.  What have we here, he says, caught with the hands in the dough.  Antonio is so sorry to have found him because he’ll have to shoot him for trespassing.  The d*ck-head delays long enough for Pedro to go off before the gun goes off.  The flasks break.  Pedro trashes the office and taunts Antonio to shoot already.  Ooops, he does (we could have sworn the “sorpresa” was to put blanks in the gun beforehand).  Pedro goes down face first.  Mama Mia, he’s Muerto—at least that’s what Antonio thinks.  He doesn’t even kick him or turn him over—bad job, dude.  Fortunately for Camila, the shot was to the shoulder and not in his avocados.

Flor and Angel have sneaked back to El Alca because daddy’s not home and mommy doesn’t care, to smooch in the hallway (come on Angel, find an empty room.) They hear the shot ring out and go to see what happened.  Doris also hears the shot and wonders what it was.  She tells Flor sadly that sooner or later her daddy is going to go to jail.  Cara impactada de Flor.

Antonio is outta there.  Running back across the lawn towards El Tal, he shoots Margaro, on his way to see what happened.  He’s fatally shot (not quite) in the stomach.  Bleeding profusely, he knows he bought the farm.  But wait, here comes Pedro, holding his shoulder to kneel and cradle Margaro.  After some anguished pleading not to die, Pedro manages to pull out his cell phone and calls for an ambulance.  He leaves Margaro and heads toward the reception.


Not “The Plan”:

The wedding reception is in full swing, when Ooops, Antonio shows up out of nowhere and grabs Camila around the neck, from behind and points the gun at the guests—Hostage Situation—Call 911.  Antonio says nobody move or he’ll shoot Camila.  His demented self is blathering on about loving Camila more than anyone else at the wedding—waving his gun around.  He adores her; she’s his wife; she *HAS* to love him.  Antonio would rather have her dead than with that indio.  He turns to her in her panic and instructs her that she’s going to *learn* to love him (he repeats this endlessly for the next 35 min or so, so we will not repeat it again).  Camila screams, “Suélteme,”  she’s not going anywhere with him.  He doesn’t obey but starts screaming for the keys to the truck—where are the keys to the truck—gimmie the keys or I’ll start shooting everybody.  Lucrecia wants to know where Pedro is.  With a maniacal grin he says Pedro is Muerto.  Lucrazy lunges at him, but the folks hold her back.  Tomás tries to reason with Antonio.  Tranquilo, hombre, Camila is his wife, she’ll do what he wants, she’ll go with him.  Camila is still screaming she doesn’t love him, never will.  Gabriel finally hands over the keys.


Kidnapping in Progress:

The only way Antonio has to keep Camila from jumping out the other side of the truck is to knock her out cold.  Antonio is outta there.  Pedro comes running and tries to get into the back of the truck, but it’s weaving madly and he gets dropped by the side of the driveway.

Antonio and Camila are holed up in what looks like a hotel room.  Brilliant idea, since it’s The Only Hotel Inn™ Fresno.  Camila is bleeding from the forehead and Antonio is lovingly applying cotton balls (what his are made of) to staunch the bleeding.  He says he’s still willing to forgive her.  All she has to do is fall in love with him; that’s all. Camila is agitated, the only one she’ll ever love until she dies is PEDRO.  The Giant Beltbuckle starts to get rough with her, Pedro is Muerto; she’s in love with a dead man.  Doesn’t she realize all that he could have given her, if she had just loved him?  Camila wants him to let her go.  He can’t.  All he ever wanted was a happy family like any other normal couple, but no, just look at how she paid him. It’s Camila’s fault that he turned into this (we say, who writes this stuff anyway).

Antonio tries to feed Camila soup.  She refuses.  He appeals to her maternal feelings; do it for your baby.  He cares for the child as if it were going to be his own.  Cam says her child needs nothing from him.  She screams at his fantasy of having a perfect family with her.  Antonio tries again to get her to have some soup.  She throws the dish full soup at him.

Antonio has trussed up and gagged Camila.  He’s pulled the curtains.  He’s cleaned up the soup from his face (Damn Aaron looks fine with his HAIR unglued, falling across his forehead in dark and curly locks.  What a hunk.  If he’d looked like this when he first met Camila, she’d surely have fallen for him instead of Pedro.  Then we’d have had an entirely different telenovela titled, El Alcatraz.  Too late, that yacht has left the dock.)  Antonio is still singing the same old song about how happy they would be with her at his side, with this baby and all the other children they will have.  Camila is crying through her gag while he shakes her.  He would have given her everything, what more does she want?


Miraculous Recoveries in Progress:

Pedro is ok.  He’s at the hospital recovering with a sling around his arm and wearing a traditional white hospital nighty.  Dr. Raúl is leaning over him.  They were able to get to Margaro in time and he’s in serious condition, but will probably recover.  Pedro struggles with the Doc to get out of there and go after Camila.  Doc tells him that no one knows where they are, but the police are looking for them everywhere.  Padre comes in next, but isn’t very hopeful.  El Capitán is next, but is very hopeful.  All exits are covered, highways, airports, even other states have been alerted, but so far, no sign of them.  Pedro just can’t sit there with his brazos cruzados while Camila is out there.  El Capo understands how he feels, but even if Pedro knew where they were, how would he resolve the situation by himself. 

Santiago is praying over a comatose Margaro telling him that even though he wasn’t his real father, he’s always been good to him and Margaro can’t leave him. >>FF (this was the only one, can you believe it.)

Now it’s Lulu who comes to the hospital to see Pedro.  She complains that she had to throw a tantrum to get in, Mi Amor.  The reason, he replies, is that he didn’t want to see her and left instructions not to let her in.  He finally gets his avocados back and tells her to get lost.  He never cared for her.  Lulu is crushed.  He goes on—all she ever did was pressure him and that’s not how things are done.  Lulu reminds him that he promised that if she changed, they’d have a chance.  Wait a min there, he yells over top, how can she say she loves someone she’s harmed so much.  With that he dismisses her with a Lárgate, pero ya, Vete.  Pedro has veted himself out of the hospital and hops in La Viejita with Gabriel at the wheel.


Val Gets Grilled:

El Capitán has him at the station.  He wants to know where Antonio has taken Camila.  Valentín swears he knows nothing.  He only saw what everyone else did at the reception.  And no, the Beltbuckle never told him what the plan was, although he told him there was a plan.  Like the disappearance of Mariana, maybe, aims El Capo.  Val wants to know what does one have to do with the other.  Antonio told him to go to the wedding, even though he didn’t want to.  Whirling around and what about the explosion near the airport, El Capo tries again to trip him up.  Val says No, No, No.  Careful bud, says the captain, they have plenty of information on him and the Negretes, but not sufficient proof, or not sufficient enough proof to prosecute.


In Piggorio’s Gloomy Room-3:

The Pig is still in bed, but not letting anyone know he can now move and speak. The Pig wants Panchito.  Back from the wedding, Panchito comes in, just as if he heard his Papa Pig with ESP. Jaime leaves Panchito while he goes to get something to eat. As soon as Jaime is gone the Pig says he can move his arms and hands. He doesn't want Panchito to say anything, he just wants Panchito to listen. He tells him to go get a notary, move it, go, and don't let anyone see him and tell no one.

Lucas comes back and says oh, still alive.  He tells him that if he signs on the dotted line, he’ll have a painless death.  Doris comes in with the Judge. The Judge says, oh, so sorry you are sick. The Judge asks the Pig if he is voluntarily marrying Doris and The Pig says sí.  Ah, Mi Amor now they can get married, Oh, Happy Day.  The ceremony is short and sweet (not really). The Pig signs and now Doris is la Sra. Doris de Negrete de Negrete, Queen of El Alcatrash!! Finally, bwaaaahhhhhaaa. Lucas has a sh*t eating grin on his face. Doris and the Judge leave and Lucas tells the Pig, too bad he has to die.  Well, everyone has to die.  It was all a matter of business, nothing personal. The Pig tells Lucas to enjoy Doris while he can.  Don Gregorio tells himself to hang on until the notary arrives.

Panchito has brought the notary to Alcatrash. He tells the notary to be quiet and follow him, and don't let anyone see him. Doris and Lucas are coming out of The Pig's room, and Panchito has to quick, pull the notary into an adjacent room so no one will see them. They are hiding out, as Lucas and Doris are happily counting their chickens before they hatch, so to speak.  Lucas is sooo happy he wants to get en flagrante with Doris asap. Doris is like here at Altrash, why not it’ll be hers soon.  The Pig is wondering why it is taking Panchito and the notary so long to get there. Jaime is with the Pig and tells him business is business.  In a little while he'll be already to go to the grave. Doris has brought Flor in to say goodbye.  Flor is just so upset. She sits on her Granpa Pig's bed and cries and says she’s so sorry for all the bad she and Fabi did. She is crying and kissing his cheek. The Pig is thinking he's sorry he won't be around for Flor and is apologizing in his head to her.


El Presidente Arrives in Fresno:

Amid all the commotion in various parts of Fresno and its environs, President Obama has arrived to deliver an important speech.  From the steps of The Only White House Inn™Fresno, he announces that he’s personally suspending the deportation of young people under 30 now who were brought to the U.S. by undocumented parents under the age of 16.  Bravo.  Santiago is safe from ICE.


Elvira Moves Into Rennie’s Place:

Elvira is luxuriating in her new, very own pad.  She looks so happy and self-satisfied (and so alone).  She grabs a coffee and the remote, turns on the tv just in time to hear that Flight 666 from Fresno just exploded in mid-air.  No survivors.  (Tell us that this isn’t lame.  They copied Doña Bernarda de Iturbide in Triunfo de Amor, letra por letra—poor innocent victims, we said, and viewerville didn’t get to see her suffer.)  Elvira’s stunned.  But, Elvira just picks herself up, dusts herself off and starts trying again.  She goes to a lawyer, probate, no doubt.  She’s dressed in appropriately in black.  No her late husband had no family, except a..a..a..niece, but she died in the same crash.  Well, the helpful lawyer will check the records to see if it was in Renato’s name and if everything is in order, the apartment is hers.  She mentions the mortgage.  He sees no problem if she continues to make the payments.  Elvira is relieved since there are only a couple of months left to pay.



Rescue in Progress:

Antonio is pleading with Camila, if she had only loved him, they could have been enjoying life.  As it is, they have to flee and he’ll lose everything he had.  Camila is still gagged so no one can tell what she’s trying to say.  The Beltbuckle finally loosens and removes the gag.  Camila whimpers, please, let her go.  The BB says no, they can ever be separated.  She *is* going to fall in love with him, understand (we know, we promised, but this is absolutely the last time we say it).

Camila pretends to be asleep on the bed with The Ant, him with the gun still in his hand. She moves slowly, takes the cell phone and calls 911.  At that point he wakes up and Camila provokes a fight.  He doesn't know the cell call actually went thru and the police at the station track down his location.  They call El Capitán who is with Pedro and Padre at the hospital and tell him that the call originated from The Only Hotel Inn™ Fresno.  El Capo marshals his forces and stakes out the hotel.  He is sure this must be where Antonio has sequestered Camila since the truck he was driving was found nearby.  Detective Hawt comes running up to tell the Capo that they are in Room 24.  (Eww – we are so over our crush on Hawt Detective.  Did you see him run?  We might give him a break, this is a critical situation.)  They plan the assault.  They turn to see Pedro hopping out of La Viejita.  El Capo shakes his head, just what they needed, eh?  What on earth is he doing here, he asks Pedro.  He needs to leave and not interfere.  Gabriel is ok with leaving, but Pedro insists on staying.  So they put Pedro in the back of a patrol car (no cuffs and the window is down—tsk, tsk, bad police procedure; someone will need to take a refresher course).

Inside Room 24, Antonio is telling Camila what they will have to do to evade discovery.  They’ll have to leave at night to minimize the risks.  Camila looks miserable.  All of a sudden, they hear, “Antonio Negrete—we have you surrounded.”  Said Antonio goes NUTS.  The gorgeous bandito puts a gun to Camila’s head and inches her toward the door.  Pedro goes NUTS on seeing Camila in danger and he’s still in the patrol car.  When nobody is looking, he reaches through the open window and lets himself out.

Obviously Antonio has not planned far enough ahead.  He abandoned the truck, so all he can do is stand there, gun to Camila’s head.  El Capitán, man of action, waits for no (other) man.  He takes the first shot and gets The Belt in the leg.  How he managed to miss Camila is a wonder in sharpshooting.  The Belt keeps shouting, Es Mía, Es Mi Esposa, but lets go of Camila and she drops to the ground.  A cop runs to her.  The Belt starts firing at the cops and he goes down in a hail of bullets. (Aaron, honey, you can die on our front steps anytime; you are a pro—best dying scene in a long time.)  Freed from the patrol car, Pedro rushes to embrace an hysterical Camila, while in the background, they can hear Antonio calling her name as he dies.  Pedro and Camila cry emotionally in each others arms hugging and kissing at their good fortune.


In Piggorio’s Gloomy Room-4:
 
Enrique, the Notary, an old friend of the Pig's enters and the Pig tells Panchito to guard the door from the outside while the Pig has a conference with Enrique. After Panchito leaves, Pig tells him this is the last job he'll ever have to do for him and to listen well and to do exactly as he says.

Now Jaime is alone with the Pig and Panchito has come back in. He tells Panchito he is in charge and Panchito asks his Papa how he is? Jaime just laughs and says oh, this is HIS Papa. He leaves. As soon as Jaime leaves, the Pig talks to Panchito and tells him to listen, just listen cause it's important. To the infernal strains of a Devil’s Chorus, he tells him his legal name now is Francisco Negrete.  Just then Lucrazy bursts in, interrupting a sweet father-son moment to ask him to forgive her for all she has done.  She is crying and he puts his arm around her. She needs his help you see, to get Pedro back. (Look Lulu, Papa is dying, he can't help, jus' sayin'). He just holds her as she cries.  Doris and Jaime come back in.  Doris drags Lucrazy away from Papa Pig and exit while Jaime examines the Pig and says his heart is very weak, and will give out soon. Panchito wants to know really, how is his condition and Jaime tells him, his organs are failing, his mind soon will too, and he doesn't have long. Panchito is extremely upset, he wants Jaime to help the Pig, do something. He tells Panchito he is sorry.


Ding Dong the Bell Tolled for Thee:

Alberta has just heard about The Beltbuckle’s rusty end and is telling Doris.  For some reason, it’s Tracy that will relate the news to El Piggorio and Panchito.  Panchito is so upset he is a little rude to Tracy because he’s trying to get Jaime to do something for his father. Tracy has come to tell them something, but Panchito doesn't want to listen.  Finally she yells out that the Beltbuckle is dead!  Just then The Pig yells at Jaime, "doctor," takes his arm out from under the covers, points the gun he had in his hand at Jaime and tells him this is for Antonio and shoots him dead,  right in front of Panchito and Tracy. Panchito has the deer in the headlights "luke" and is shocked, but the Pig isn't done yet. The Pig now says, he ain't waitin for no death, he’s coming for it, raises the pistol and shoots........

We interrupt the scene with this well known little ditty, from the Wizard of Oz:

Ding Dong the Pig is Dead
Shot himself in the head
Ding Dong the Wicked Pig is dead.
Sing it high, sing it low
Ding Dong the Wicked Pig is Dead


Un Mes and/or Mess Después:

1) The happy newlyweds are having a picnic at El Tal.  On the menu is Domino’s Pizza, delivered.  They are certainly enjoying the pizza.  It shows.  Geno and Tomás announce they are staying in Fresno.  It’s a great place to start a family—no, no, they aren’t expecting, yet.  Sarita and Gabe are thrilled and Gabe actually starts talking about a family-starting business, but not just yet.  Sarita still owes him several more stories (like Saucy Red Riding Hood / Big Bad Wolf).

2) Camila is with Armando and Angel at María’s cum Angel’s apartment.  She’s finally getting her interrupted civil ceremony tomorrow in order to be married to Pedro every which way she can.  But wait, the doorbell rings, No Puede Ser, it Elvira wanting to talk to Camila—Alone.  Did she hear correctly?  She’s marrying Pedro?  Camila reminds her she’s actually already married to Pedro, doesn’t she understand that?  Camila doesn’t want to argue; she loves her mother, wants her to be happy, but please leave her in peace.  Elvira won’t quit while she’s not ahead.  She tells Camila that someday she’ll know who Pedro really is and predicts that Camila will come crying back to her and she’ll be there to console her because Pedro is not the right man for her (for pity sakes, woman, leave it alone; get a life; start with anti-sour grape shots and stop spreading unwanted germs).  Camila carefully considers what to say to her mother.  She decides that Elvira is a lost cause, a lost soul, so with a minimum of sarcasm says, great, she’ll call her.

3) Pancho and Tracy are in the El Alca kitchen chatting.  Pancho gets all mooney and romantic and Tracy gets her ring and a marriage proposal.  He doesn’t want to wait.  He wants to leave because he knows Doris will inherit everything as Don Gregorio’s widow.

4) Dr. Raúl tells Camila and Pedro that they are going to be the parents of a baby girl.  They are overjoyed and yes, they are going to name her Mariana.

5) Doris breaks the news to a zoned-out Lucrecia that she’s off to the manicomio today, right after they read the will.  Lucrecia is sad because if she’s locked in a manicomio, Pedro won’t be able to find her when he comes for her.  Doris says foggeddaboudit, she doesn’t want any loquitas in *her* house.  Next she goes to the household help and tells them she’s letting them go and they should be prepared to leave immediately after the will is read.  They are useless and she has no need of them any longer.

6) Here comes Enrique the Notary to read El Piggorio’s will.  Doris can hardly contain her excitement.  She knows Don G left everything to her, so chop, chop, get with the program, it can’t be very long.  Enrique tells her she’s quite correct, it’s comprised of few lines.  She listens as he begins, “I, Gregorio Negrete, being of sound mind and body…” and urges him to get to the good part “….leave everything to the most loyal person in my family—as long as that person keeps the household staff on, treats them well, pays them well, takes care of my granddaughters and my only daughter, Lucrecia.”  To Doris, he leaves the thing she wanted the most—his love, bwwwwaaaahhhhhhaaaa.  His heir is to be Francisco Gomez, aka Pancho, Negrete, his son.  Doris has a cara impactada, especially when she hears the codicil that she’s the one who has to, Wait For It, LARGATE DE MI RANCHO immediately.  (That's what you get for aiding and abetting, just sayin'.)

7) The last that is seen of Doris, she is over at Ho-House crying to Brigitte who takes pity on her.  Life must go on, is her philosophy, as she hands her a glitter mask, saying, “Catherine is back.”   At least Doris *has* a steady job (for which she should be grateful, in this economy, just sayin’).

8) Panchito observes Looney Lu imagining Pedro at her side.  Panchito gently tells her not to worry, he’s found a way to help her.  Instead of wringing his hands, he’s been wringing his hat, which is now in shreds.  Looney Lu is to start treatments tomorrow.  Lu just looks straight ahead murmuring that she knows Pedro can’t live without her and he’ll come for her.


Días Después:

Armando comes to Elvira’s new, very own, apartment to say goodbye.  Right after Camila’s wedding ceremony, he’s leaving for Canada.  He leaves Elvira on a sad note.  Then she hears a knock on the door and thinks it’s Army coming back to her.  A bunch of men are standing there.  They are the repo men along with an official with an eviction notice.  But, it’s MIO, she only owes another month to pay off the mortgage.  Señora, the note on this apartment hasn’t been paid for two years.  He instructs the repo men to start clearing the place.  Renato got the last laugh.


La Extra Final Final No More Bodas At El Tal:

The radiant couple descends the carpeted stairway (Whew!! Camila made it all the way down without falling.  Good omen.)  The Aceptos are accepted by the Judge and that’s it.  Smiles and kisses, more smiles (of relief we would say) more kisses, a little speech from Pedro on how sick and tired he got after all the drama, but en fin, there is a big POR FIN.  SE ACABO!


Post Script

BOOM!  Flight 666 explodes in the air.  No survivors.  Tiger print fabric cascades to the ground (in our imagination).  RIP Rita and Rennie.  You both offered the viewing audience (all 8 of us) some awesome crotch shots.


Answers to the Match the Quotes Game:

1.  Elvira - Todo esto es MIO
2.  El Capitán - Te tenemos rodeado
3.  Valentín - No se nada
4.  Renato - Hasta Nunca, Elvira
5.  Camila - Dejame en PAZ
6.  Lucrecia - Mi AMOR
7.  Antonio - Dame las llaves del camion
8.  Rita - No seas tonto con nuestro dinero
9.  Jaime - Business is Business
10. Dr. Raúl - Va a ser una Niña


End of Final Recap - co-authored by Anita, Madelaine and Rosemary La Otra, additional tweaking and posting by Blue Lass.

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Abismo de pasión #68 6/15/12: Anyone Would Mistake the Pillsbury Dough Boy for an Adonis, Right? And Amazing Delusions!

I got rid of cable and I am working with an antennae that picks up Mexican television.  Mexican television has NO ccs.  The hearing impaired don't like Abismo.  Anyways, the channel I watch is on episode 105.  I can only watch Abismo online and there are also no ccs.  Sorry, I didn't catch everything and today, this will be a team effort again.  If you know what was said at certain points, please have at it. 


Alternative Titles  My Lips are Blue

CasaDeKenia Damien and Kenia are in a passionate embrace when Elisa walks in to the bedroom.  Yeah, I know he was caught off guard, but it didn’t appear to me that Damien was doing anything to stop her.  You Damien?  With her?  Elisa runs out of the bedroom and Damien hobbles out after her.  First Florencia and now Kenia?  Damien looks confused.  He reminds Elisa about the lover of her life, Gael.  Elisa screams at him about forgetting her and pollenating with all of La Ermita.  Damien wants to know if she is talking about herself or Kenia?  He says that she did the same thing with his best friend Gael.  Elisa denies that she is like that “type of woman”.   Damien reminds her that she was messing with him and Gael at the same time.  Kenia hurries from her room wearing a revealing pink negligée.  She wants to explain.  Um Kenia, you’re not helping Damien one bit! Go back into your room and change your clothes.  Elisa, storms out into the dark night.  Ingrid comes out of the shadows. 

WitchMountain Paloma opens the door and molests Gael at the threshold.  I have no idea what they are talking about about. ????????

Park Horacio and Dolores are taking a stroll.  Horacio asks Dolores if he can carry her milk forever.  He wants to be the only milkman in her life.  She doesn’t look that thrilled about it so, he asked her to think about it.  If I were her, I would say no just because of the Authur Fonzarelli collar, but we’ll see what she says.  He kisses her, but she still doesn’t look like she wants to say yes. 

KeniaLoveNest Kenia asks Damien to forgive her.  She didn’t know it was him in the dark (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) Anyone could have made this mistake, since Agosto has a Pillsbury Dough Boy frame and Damien is a muscular wall.  She could not feel the difference?  Damien wants to know if she was really waiting for Agosto?  Frankly, I couldn’t believe it either Damien, but I will suspend my imagination for this episode.  She doesn’t answer and he doesn’t push it.  She tells him that she wants to talk to Elisa to explain what’s going on.  He says that it’s not important.  But you love her Damien.  Yeah, I do, but she’s with Gael.  Damien tells Kenia that she doesn’t feel a thing for her.  Horacio honks the horn to let Damien know that he’s waiting.  When Damien leaves, and Ingrid still waiting outside, knocks on the door.  Kenia comes outside in her cute little revealing nighty and they have a screaming and almost physical confrontation outside. 

WitchMountain Ramona walks in and rescues Gael from being mauled.  She asks Gael what his intentions are towards her granddaughter.  Gael assures her that his intentions are good, and then makes a hasty exit.  Paloma and her grandmother discuss….

ParkBench On the drive home, Damien sees Elisa sitting on a park bench and makes Horacio stop the truck and he hops out.  Damien sees her face and wants to know why she’s crying.  Although she denies it, Damien tells her that she just jealous.  She throws Gael in his face.  Gael is a loyal man.  He tells her that he’s much better without her.  He looks like he’s about to kiss her, she puckers in anticipation, but he gets up and walks off.  She touches her lips.  He left her with hanging in the dark with blue lips. 

CasaDeArango Braulio and Tonia are sitting in front to the house looking up at the moon.  Braulio kisses her on the forehead and tells her that he’s going in.  He’s tired.  He just left her hanging with blue lips.  I don’t know what they are discussing.  Whatever it is, he’s not interested. 

WitchMountain Paloma finds Ramona sitting outside listening to the night sounds.  What are you doing out here?  I can’t sleep.  Paloma doesn’t want to argue after such a great day. 

Iglesia ?????????

CasaDeCastanon Elisa confronts her father about Kenia.  He wants to know who Kenia was kissing in the bedroom.  I told you that it wasn’t important, Elisa says.  Elisa is a very young girl.  I’m a fool.  It’s the story of my life.  Elisa scrunches up her face to cry.  Like me, Agosto’s not in the mood to hear it and bids her quick good night.  We all know that Elisa needs an audience to have a good cry, so she runs off to find “old faithful”, Delores.  After telling her story for 20 minutes, she finally realizes that Delores in not paying a lick of attention to her.  God forbid, Delores thinks of anything else except comforting Elisa in her time of need.  What’s up, Delores?  You’re not focused on me and my problems?  Horacio asked me to marry him.  What did you say to him?  Nothing.  Elisa asks if Dolores loves Horacio.  Elisa tells Dolores that she will support her in whatever she decides and gives her a hug. 

CasaDeArangoOutdoors Horacio returns Damien to the house.  Damien goes in and Tonia rushes over to Horacio.  She begins to ask him where he took Damien because Florencia and Alfonsina were worried.  Before he can answer, Braulio comes back and wants to know why Tonia is talking to Horacio.  Horacio smiles and tells him that he just asked Delores to marry him.  Tonia jumps with glee, smiles and congratulates him.  This means that Dolores is off the market and Braulio can stop pining for her.  Horacio bids them good night.  Braulio does not look pleased.  Tonia is surprised Dolores found somebody to love her because she is very ugly.  Braulio turns and gives his wife a dirty look. 

CasaDeArangoIndoors Damien is in the house cussing out both his momma and Florencia. I don’t know why.  Please explain.  I think he says that he’ll go where he wants to go and when he wants to go there and where he’ll be is where he wants to be.  I think he tells them to get some business and stay out of his.   

CasaDeCastanonKitchen I knew it wouldn’t last for long.  We are back on Elisa’s problems.  Dolores brings Elisa a cup of tea and they discuss Damien and Kenia.  Dolores tells Elisa that it’s all her fault that Damien is pollenating all of La Ermita.  She reminds a shocked Elisa that she made Damien believe that she and Gael were lovers.  Elisa tells Dolores that Kenia and her father are lovers.  Dolores is appalled as we all are, but then she says that he and Carmina have never been happy.  Has the world gone mad?  Disgusted, Elisa gets up from the table.  Please interpret the rest of the conversation. 

CasaDeCastanonMasterBedroom Agosto is in bed removing his glasses when Carmina walks in.  Agosto tells her that he wants to separate.  She begs him not to and tries to touch him.  He rejects her touches and tells her to control herself.  She crawls into his lap, but he looks bored.  I think she wants to lay it on him one last time.  But he’s wearing pajamas and black socks.  I got hot just looking at him. 

Iglesia Paloma has come to the church to visit Gael.  She wants to discuss what happened with her grandmother.  She asks if the Lupe is there and upon finding out that he isn’t, she climbs all over Gael.  Damien walks in on them and starts going off about them not being loyal to Elisa.  Paloma tells Damien that there was never anything between Gael and Elisa.  Elisa only broke it off with Damien because of Alfonsina required it.  If she hadn’t have broken it off with him, Alfonsina was going to have Agosto locked up for the rest of his life. 

CasaDeCastanonElisa’sBedroom Elisa is packing to go stay with Lucio.  Dolores says….

Iglesia Paloma tells Damien that Elisa loves him.  Gael confirms Paloma’s story.  Damien rushes out of the rectory. 

CasaDeDonLucio Agosto has come to tell Lucio that Dolores and Elisa don’t want to live with him.  He’s not going to separate from Carmina.  He’s going to give her another chance.  Lucio all but calls him a fool. 

CasaDeArangoBreakfastTable Paolo is eating breakfast.  Florencia walks in and tells him how horrible he looks.  That’s just what a bummed out person needs to hear.  She tells him to find another woman.  He shouts at her.  He tells her that Damien will love Elisa for the rest of his life. 

CasaDeKenia Carmina tells Kenia that she and Agosto have reconciled.  She describes in detail how they made love last night.  Kenia looks bummed.  Carmina warns Kenia to stay away from her family. 

Park Agosto and Lucio are in the park discussing??????

CasaDeCastanon Damien rings the bells to alert everyone, including the man that keeps trying to shoot him,that he is has arrived.  Elisa steps out onto the porch.  Damien wants to know why she didn’t tell him about the clause in the contract.  Elisa tries to deny it, but he tells her about Paloma and Gael at the rectory, making out.  She confirms the story.  He tells her that he loves her with all of his soul.  She tells him that nothing can happen between them.  She couldn’t be happy with him while her father is in prison for the rest of his life.  He says they can get around it.  She tells him that his mother made it perfectly clear that if she looks like she wants to be with Damien, she will put Agosto in jail.  Besides, he was with Kenia.  He tries to explain that Kenia confused him with her father. She doesn’t believe it…and neither do I.  I’m just saying, you know a 300 when you feel one.  There’s a difference between Girard Butler and Danny Devito.  OK, then what about Florencia?  Remember the chick that lives in your house, eats your food and tries to sleep with you?  Oh her?  Ummm there is nothing going on between us.  Elisa runs into the house and slams the door.  Damien bangs on the door and begs her to open it for him.  With breast heaving she cries on one side of the door and he cries on the other.   

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El Talismán Pre-Finale Special Fri 6/15/12 It Came In With A Whimper and Went Out With Bodas and a BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!




This final recap is being brought to you in Several Parts by
THE FEW -- THE SLIGHTLY ABASHED -- THE TALISMANIACS
"All for one and one for Alternate Fresno!"

To begin the Gran Final, we invite you to play a Match the Quotes to the name game.  Draw a line from the quote to the person who said it.  You may rely on your memory or not.  They all come from Friday’s two-hour episode.

Answers will be at the end of Part II.

1. Todo esto es MIO                                      Lucrecia
2. Te tenemos rodeado                                   Camila
3. No se nada                                                 Antonio
4. Hasta Nunca, Elvira                                    Dr. Raúl
5. Dejame en PAZ                                          Jaime
6. Mi AMOR-L                                              Valentin
7. Dame las llaves del camion                          Rita
8. No seas tonto con nuestro dinero                Renato
9. Business is Business                                    Elvira
10. Va a ser una Niña                                     El Capitán


To Continue with the Gran Final, we invite you to enjoy the following original poem.

THE DEATHS OF PIG AND BELTBUCKLE
JABBERWOCKY
a skewed version
Por Luis Carroll y R la O

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All nerviosos were the El Tal empleados
And the raisins withered on the vine.

“Beware the Negretes, Pedro!
The jaws that bite, the claws that slap!
Beware the One Called Pig, and shun
The frumious Beltbuckle!”

He took his long lost gun in hand:
Long time the shirtless foe he sought
So rested he by the avocado tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in dazed thought he stood,
The Prince of Darkness, with bloodshot eyes,
Came panting through the cemetery
And hiccuped as he came!

Uno, dos! Uno, dos! And through Alcatraz
The long needled syringe went in Pig's neck
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galloping back.

“And, has thou slain the Sneering Ones?
Come to my arms, my clueless hombre!
O delicioso day!  Caray!  Caray!
He snorted in his coffee.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All painted were the glitter girls
And the raisin vines plumped up.


Since Viewerville was shortchanged by at least 20 episodes, we have taken the liberty of restoring them for you.

The Missing Episodes—In Which:
#105 – Through DNA tests it is shown that an unknown person of indigenous blood lines fathered Antonio.
#107 – No gold, oil or historical ruins were found on the back 40 of El Talisman.  Don Gregorio's coveting the rancho was revealed to be pure greed.
#109 – Through DNA tests it is shown that Camila really is Esteban’s daughter after all.
#111 – Elvira is found homeless and wandering around the streets of Los Angeles pulling her little red suitcase.
#112 – Army gets enough money together to go to Canada.  Angel follows.  The cousins and Flor and Fab become Canadian citizens.
#113 – Francisco Negrete (aka Panchito) and Tracy get married.  Tracy makes all the hors d’oeuvres for the reception.  Panchito picks his nose during the ceremony.
#115 – The Orphans arrive from Mexico and among them is Santiago’s mother (don’t ask).
#117 – Valentin goes to Los Angeles trying to look for Mariana and runs into Elvira.  They set up housekeeping together in a big cardboard box.
#119 – El Capitán finally has the pruebas he needs to charge Don Gregorio Negrete with various and sundry crimes.  It has to be done in absentia or post mortem or whatever.
#120 – Meses después – BABY ARRIVES – She looks just like Camila and cries like her, too.
















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Weekend Discussion: Televisa Remakes We Would Produce

Amigos, damas, y caballeros!  The next photo gallery is in progress, so for this weekend I propose a game that occurred to me the other day as I wrote a comment on LQNPA.

A while back there was sufficiently enthusiastic discussion about my hypothetical Televisa version of Dark Shadows that this game is based on that discussion:


  • Pick a classic US TV program (We'll do movies another time).  Title translation optional.
  • Give your dream cast for the Televisa Remake you would produce.  Actors currently under contract to Telemundo are also invited to the casting call.  Although most or all character names would be changed into Spanish ones, use the original character names for clarity.
  • Make note of any minor changes to setting, character relationships, etc.
  • Comment on any previously posted project.
  • New projects should occur at least every third post, but more frequently is good, too!
Herewith, I propose Televisa's remake of Star Trek, to be called Viajes entre las Estrellas:

Regular Cast:

Captain Kirk............        Fernando Colunga
1st Officer Spock.........    Diego Olivera
Lieutenant Uhura..........    Indhira Serrano
Lieutenant Sulu.............    Pablo Cheng
Lieutenant Chekhov.......   Marcelo Cordoba
Scotty...........................    Mario Iván Martinez
Dr McCoy.....................   Jorge Salinas
Nurse Chapel.................   Sylvia Navarro
Yeoman Rand................   Angelique Boyer
Enterprise Chaplain*.......  Salvador Sanchez

Frequent Guest Cast:

Sarek............................    Alejandro Avila
Amanda.........................   Julieta Rosen
Commodore Mendez......  Cesar Evora
Klingon Commander.......  Guillermo Garcia Cantú
Romulan Commander......  Rene Casados
T'Pau, ruler of Vulcan......  Raquel Olmedo
Harry Mudd....................  Sergio Sendel

*New addition for cultural relevance

Have fun!

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Friday, June 15, 2012

El Mundo de Telemundo - week of June 18 - Discuss among yourselves

¡Hola a todos! Another week, another opportunity for great comments and recaps. Let's go!

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