Caray, Caray!

Amores Verdaderos Cap 160 6-25-13—Evil wears very red lipstick

A quick overview, more coming later:

EVENTS NOT LISTED IN ORDER, MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY ACCURATE

* Nikki and Guzmancito discuss their grim financial circumstances. Nikki is resolved to tough it out. She looks through the help wanted ads; some promising positions (dead-end jobs) but each has something wrong with it. At least she's willing to consider dead-end jobs, though. Good for you, Nikki!

* The Furry Fornicator is going to seal the deal on a new house for Kendra-the-Ho. She's crowing in triumph. She's also got the FF to sign over insurance papers in hers and Mia's name, leaving Nikki out of the equation entirely.

* Paula wonders to herself how long she can keep her illness a secret. Makeup covers up the bags under her eyes and her pale complexion for now, but how much longer?

* At the grand opening of Lili's garden goes well—at first. Roy the Boy is becoming more and more likable  as he embraces his garden assistant job under his "pretty boss," Lili. Drama plays out amidst the plants, however. Paula attends because Lili asked. Vicki and she bury the hatchet. Also Vicki buries the hatchet with Cande, now that she knows that Cande wasn't the ho that was off globetrotting with Anyballs when Vicki's mom was on her deathbed.

* Adriana confronts Cande now that she knows that she's Lili's "aunt." Why didn't Cande say anything? She and Anyballs are peas in a pod! Cande is so full of guilt that she's about to spill the beans ("She's more than your niece, she's your . . . !") but she chickens out at the last minute and just says that Lili regards Adri as a "second mother" and Cande urges Adri to make the most of that, as Lili really needs a mother-figure right now.

* Lili gives a tearful thank you speech to all the visitors, ending it with a heartfelt thanks to her mom, Christina.

* Kendra-the-Ho goes to visit Nikki and cause trouble. Nikki really isn't in the mood for it and keeps on telling Kendra to get the hell out. Kendra, of course, won't. She cries crocodile tears and pretends that she's "sorry" for all she's done. Nikki doesn't believe. Before the Ho leaves, she tells Nikki that Lili's big Grand Opening is today, and that Lili is the one taking advantage of Anyball's generosity, now that Nikki is on the outs with Anyballs.

* Nikki shows up at the Grand Opening to bum everyone out. She makes a jealous scene and bitches about Gramps and Lili. Lili says that Nikki is jealous (too true!). Nikki is ushered off and Gramps tries to smooth things over for the guests. Nikki tells a concerned Vicki that Gramps is closing doors for her and the Little Ape. Vicki seems surprised by this. (What? You think he wouldn't do that, after what he did to Carlos all those years ago?)

* Vicki approaches Anyballs about him blackballing Nikki and Guzmancito. Gramps says he doesn't have to explain anything to anyone. Vicki says she's an exception. He defends his douchebaggery by saying he doesn't approve of Guzmancito. This is all unacceptable for Vicki. She wants to help Guzmancito, as she later tells Big Angel. Big Angel understands, but advises her to be careful when offering help, as Guzmancito is like he is—poor, but proud.

* Vicki and Big Angel are discussing in a private corner of the garden, the bad blood between Nikki and Lili. They don't know what to do. Big Angel doesn't approve of the way Nikki talked to Lili. Lili has wandered by and overhears this. She stays to hear Vicki and Big Angel talk about "their relationship" and so the truth is out. She is all teary and unhappy and about to confront them when Roy the Boy pulls her away to tell her that they've got a big client! And there will be more where that comes from!

* On the way back home, Nikki passes by a restaurant with a "waitress wanted" sign. She goes in and asks for a job. Turns out the waitress they just hired hasn't shown up, so Nikki is going to get a chance! She is thrilled and gloats that regardless of Anyball's interference, she and Guzmancito will succeed, and the hell with Lili! Her little garden will fail, mwahahaha! Admiration and sympathy points for Nikki are all erased as she gloats at the thought of Lili's failure.

* The Ho is gloating with Espanto about her latest triumphs with the Furry Fornicator. He's getting them a house! She hints to Espanto that both the FF and her little sickly niña Mia are getting to be a drag. Espanto gets the message—he balks and says he's killed before, but killing a BABY?!?!? Even he won't sink that low! The Ho tells him that for the proper amount of cash, he'll manage. (Is this THE most evil character ever? I wonder!) Meanwhile, the FF has an upset—he isn't going to get the money to pay for the house after all. He's in a snit. When he tells the Ho the news, she has a shrieking fit. He hangs up on her—he doesn't need this crap right now! (Salsa-Dude is listening to this and chuckling to himself because he knows how furious the Ho will be.)  The Ho complains to Espanto about this latest upset, but talks about the FF has more funds (his stock in the new account UltraBelle) which will be coming soon. She'll be swimming in money! Espanto leers greedily behind her.

END OF EPISODE!

AVANCES: A sloshed-up Furry Fornicator seems on the cusp of spilling all the family secrets in front of everyone. MUST SEE TV!!!

Resumes that Knock'em Dead (Not)

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Amores Verdaderos Cap 155, 6-18-13—Gramps, you old scamp

Brief overview. Getting a late start. Hope to fill in blanks later. Discuss amongst yourselves.

It's all about what Anibal wants. . .

Bulleted list, summary. May not be in order. May be fraught with errors!

* Anibal is determined to introduce Cande as his wife-to-be. She's a bit hesitant, but whatever. He drags her to the mansion and drops a bomb on Vicki. Vicki has a sh*t hemorrhage when she discovers that Cande is classified as the "love of his life." "Is she the woman you were galivanting around with when my mom was dying?" Poor Cande tries to set the record straight, but Anibal won't take any of this crap and tells Vicki that they're just going to have to suck it up and accept Cande. The Furry Fornicator wanders around with a glass of booze in his hand and makes snarky comments. When Anibal is asked how come it's okay for him to marry someone of a lower class and financial status, he says it's okay for him to do it, he's an old geezer (oh wait, no he denies that later) but anyway, he's got money and he can do what he wants, dammit! Unlike Vicki and Nikki, who are saddling themselves to good-for-nothing mooches. Big Angel doesn't like hearing himself classified as a good-for-nothing.

* Nikki and the Little Ape are still happy. Keep an eye on these two, I think I see an anvil in the horizon. Nikki tries to fix dinner, but she BURNS THE PASTA. No puede ser. The Little Ape says okay and they order pizza. They are talking about the families and catch up on things. Gramps cancelled her credit cards, blah blah, Little Ape says that's okay, blah blah, Little Ape is going to get a great job—I wouldn't count on that yet, Guzmancito!—Nikki makes some snarky remarks about Lili, the bad blood is still there and it's gonna be BAD when their real blood connection comes out.

* Anibal has Cande twisted in knots, believing that she's got to still conceal the truth about everyone's parentage. He tells her that if Adri knows the truth, they'll both get sued. Cande says, well, we would have it coming, right? Anyway, Cande gutlessly promises to keep the secret for longer, all the while thought-bubbling about her guilt. Whatever.

* Roy the Boy is coming along in his goal for humanhood. He opts out of a night on the town with Omar to read about gardening and earthworms, and seems genuinely interested! Omar shakes his head. It looks like Lili is starting to thaw a little.

* Adri asks the silver-haired Carlos where this relationship is going. Carlos, to his credit, admits that he's a love 'em and leave 'em kind. He doesn't plan on getting married or having kids, he is too stuck in his ways. Adri says that she's "too old" to think about settling down now (really?) and they agree to just "see how things go." Don't waste your time on this one, Adri! Throw him back in the water! I am waiting for her old flame (and Lili's baby-daddy) Vicente to show up.

* Lili and Polita go out to the movies with Jean Marie. Happy happy. Lili and Polita also have some sort of chat, about Roy the Boy I think and maybe also about what a bitch Nikki is. I kind of dozed off during this part.

* Happy happy at Beatriz's household. Guillo did some artwork showing Leo the Low as an angel. It seems like Guillo is accepting how things are. Salsa-Dude refers to Guillo as "their" kid. Happy happy happy.

* The Furry Fornicator takes a photo of little Mia in the hospital and sends it via cell to Kendra the Ho. She is lounging around at a spa or something, living in the lap of luxury, while feeding the FF some line about her "Aunt Puchis's" sad, sad funeral. "Seeing her in that awful coffin was just awful!" she cries, as she slinks around in her fab hotel room.

* Nikki is chatting with the Little Ape and talking about how Gramps has cut off her credit cards, blah blah blah. "Grandpa will stop being angry with me soon, because I'm his granddaughter—his ONLY granddaughter!" Uh oh!

* Vicki is all outraged about Gramps wanting to marry Cande. She assumes that Big Angel knew about this beforehand and he's keeping more secrets. Poised to read the riot act, she's surprised that Big Angel knows NOTHING and is super impactado. She gets all sweet and sugary with him. He starts to connect the dots and wants to talk to Cande ASAP.

* Anibal is calling people and making plans, obviously trying to manipulate Cande. What a douche.

* Big Angel flashes back to seeing Cande beg forgiveness to a dead Christina (in front of the Virgen de la Guadalupe statuette) about something. He connects all the dots (Cande admitting that Chris's dad isn't dead, Chris didn't know who he was, etc) and starts to suspect that Anibal is Chris's baby daddy. He confronts Cande about this. She does her frozen roll-eye thing here and thought-bubbles that she can't tell Big Angel the truth quite yet. She admits that years ago she met Anibal and fell in love with him, but says she got lost when she found out he was married. She doesn't admit that Anibal is the baby-daddy. (I got a little confused here. Wouldn't Big Angel want some confirmation or denial of Chris's parentage, or does he assume/not assume that Anibal is the daddy?). Anyway, she says that Vicki thinks that she (Cande) is some sort of Grandma Ho now. Big Angel promises to clear that all up for Vicki.

There's more stuff I forgot, but this should be enough to get us started. Screencaps (hopefully) coming later.

Amores Verdaderos Cap 150—6-11-13—Finally, a glimpse of a shirtless Salsa-Dude

You can tell that my priorities are all screwed up. Or not. I admit that Salsa is my guilty pleasure.

And he doesn't look that bad! I had always assumed he had a Jorge Salinas body (my fave actor, but best seen with a shirt on) but I guess I was wrong!

PUT A FORK IN IT, THE RECAP IS DONE!

Not listed in order; scenes are consolidated for my sanity. 

* We do a refrito of The Little Ape and Nikki all happy happy happy in his bed, talking about B.S. Pillow fight.

* Now that Carlos has been kindly given the heave-ho by Vikki, he apparently is deciding to explore the obvious chemistry he has with Adri. He tries to plant another smooch on her, but she's not going for it. She says that she just wants their relationship to be professional. She would feel wrong doing this to Vicki. (Why doesn't Carlos clear the air there? Maybe because it makes him look like he has the attention span of a hummingbird or something?) Anyway, Carlos plays the "you're a woman, I'm a man" card, but it doesn't work. Adri leaves. It doesn't look like Carlos is quite ready to give up, though.

Adri worries about her sister's feelings regarding Carlos. She needn't have bothered.

Carlos accepts this. For now . . .

* Beatriz and Salsa-Dude are alone at her place, happy happy happy once again. They talk about various things, including how Salsa-Dude has a genuine affection for Guillo now. (He admits that at first he was trying to make good with the kid to get in good with the mom. Which is pretty much standard procedure.) And, they talk about how now that Leo the Low is moldering in the ground, the boda is ON! He tells her he never took off the engagement ring. She shows him that she wore his ring around her neck on a necklace. She unstrings the ring and asks him to put it on her finger. He does so. Besos and hugs.

Happy happy happy, joy joy joy. Is that an anvil I see poised over Salsa-Dude's head?